Chapter Text
"Alright, everyone, look over here!"
Amidst the exchange of wary or uneasy glances, the boy who appeared the youngest raised his hand and stepped forward, like a banner rising.
"My name is Natsuki Subaru! I am Emilia-tan's knight, Beako's contractor. I am Rem's hero, Ram's punching bag—no, Ram's colleague! I am Meili's big brother, and Julius's friend... though I'm not too keen on admitting that last part myself."
Men and women among the group cast scrutinizing, puzzled looks his way. Subaru patted his cheeks as if to psych himself up, took a deep breath, and said:
"I'll cut straight to the point! You've all lost your memories due to the Witch Cult’s Archbishop of Gluttony. Over there, sitting very properly, with beautiful silver hair and a peerless half-elf girl—yes, I’m talking about you, don’t look around at others, Emilia-tan..."
Emilia tilted her head, looked around uncertainly, then turned back to confirm that Subaru’s eyes were fixed on her before hesitantly pointing at herself.
"Be more confident—Emilia is your name! Just as I said, I am your knight, your one and only knight!" Subaru stepped closer, knelt down on one knee, and reached out his hand. "There's no need to worry, because I'm here. As your knight, I will absolutely ensure your safety."
After a moment’s hesitation, Emilia, under the force of his fervent appeal, finally placed her right hand over his.
Among a group who had lost their memories—including their own—the only person with relevant memories had unmistakably become the central pillar of authority.
"I am Julius... the Finest Knight of Lady Anastasia. Lady Anastasia is a royal selection candidate. After forcibly using magic in the battle against Gluttony, she has fallen into a coma. The rest of us have lost our memories due to the Witch Cult’s Archbishop of Gluttony." Julius sorted through his thoughts and confirmed the summary.
"Right. When I arrived on the scene, you all seemed to have already become... like this, staring at each other at a loss. Whether because the rules were violated during the fight or not, Shaula, who had transformed into a scorpion, was on the brink of death when she bid me farewell, then shrank down like this and hasn’t responded since." Subaru opened his palm, showing everyone a tiny, motionless scorpion that seemed lifeless.
"I see. I understand." Julius nodded. "So, currently, only you—who were of no use in battle—have your memories. Our situation is quite dire."
"Exactly—wait, no!" Subaru grimaced. "Saying I was of no use was modesty on my part! At the very least, it’s not your place to criticize me!"
"My apologies, I was joking." The Finest Knight, startled by Subaru’s usual method of easing tension, even leaned back slightly. "I thought we really were friends. Please don’t take it seriously." He even used an honorific.
This only left Subaru with mixed feelings. "No, I was joking too... We are friends. Really, I’m not lying."
Beatrice lifted her head and snorted, giving him a sense of familiarity. "Betty finds Subaru’s expression rather unconvincing. There’s no need to force yourself to like someone you dislike." But, as expected, the Great Spirit remembered nothing.
"There’s a type of close friendship called ‘frenemies’ in this world. Julius and I probably have that kind of relationship." Whether it counted as exposure therapy or not, Subaru finally admitted Julius’s friend status smoothly and without awkwardness... at least for now, he grumbled internally.
For everyone, their memories began the moment they opened their eyes and saw each other waking up one by one. Subaru held back a sigh that was about to escape and silently summed up the situation:
Emilia and Julius were the first to grasp the circumstances and could participate in discussing countermeasures. Beako trusted him deeply due to their contract, but her trust was so strong it bordered on blind faith, which only added to the burden he felt, unwilling to take that trust for granted. Ram observed Emilia and the others before joining in; rather than trusting Subaru, she seemed to trust Emilia and Julius. Meili remained quiet, responding only occasionally, and spent most of the time clinging to Subaru’s sleeve.
Aside from Subaru, who hadn’t made it to the battlefield in time, everyone else had sustained injuries of varying degrees. Fortunately, after carefully checking and repeatedly urging everyone to move cautiously, he breathed a sigh of relief that no one was in immediate life-threatening danger.
The women had taken charge of Anastasia’s condition, and she remained in a stable coma with steady breathing.
Despite being in the worst possible emergency, the basic situation was better than expected. At the very least, they could now carefully consider whether to search for Gluttony or attempt to conquer the Sage’s Tower.
The former had a clear goal: to reclaim at least some of their memories. Ideally, they would successfully defeat Gluttony, which would also greatly aid in conquering the Sage’s Tower.
But Subaru felt powerless. After observing everyone’s condition, he reluctantly decided to first attempt conquering the Watchtower—at least until their conditions improved enough to confront Gluttony.
Beatrice took his hand and was the first to voice her support, though she seemed to have a somewhat adorable resistance toward Meili, who was hiding behind Subaru—though “adorable” was purely from Subaru’s perspective. Meili didn’t enjoy being occasionally stared at, but thankfully, no arguments broke out between them.
"Since you have made your choice, we shall set out." Julius placed his right hand over his chest, perhaps a muscle memory prompting him to perform a slightly imperfect knight’s salute.
The others, some still nursing unhealed wounds, all voiced their agreement, leaving Subaru momentarily caught between shame and awkwardness.
"Um, don’t any of you think I’m being pushy? After all, you don’t know anything, and your own abilities and information rely entirely on my incomplete and unreliable memories. Plus, being in a dangerous and completely unfamiliar place, shouldn’t unease be the normal reaction..."
"No, precisely because of that, we want to do something even more." Emilia stepped forward, looking around at the group. "We want to recover our memories, we want to leave this place, and we don’t want to cause trouble for Subaru. That’s why we agreed—it’s not blind obedience, right?"
Everyone voiced their agreement, and Emilia finally turned to Subaru with a brilliant smile, so bright it almost made him think she had regained her memories and they were back in a familiar moment from the past.
"Don’t feel pressured because of us, my knight."
"Emilia-tan excels at ice magic. She can create ice spikes or weapons as if it were second nature. Julius is a Spirit Knight, the 'Finest' skilled in both swordsmanship and magic... How do magic and spirits work? Do I need to start explaining from the basics? This is a headache..."
Just as Subaru mumbled to himself, pondering how to give a simple explanation to a group of amnesiacs, the red-haired maid raised her hand.
"Subaru-sama, perhaps I can figure some things out on my own. Could you first explain my specific abilities?"
Subaru scratched his head—he had already asked everyone to call him by his name directly. "Being called 'Subaru-sama' feels so lonely. If onee-sama usually calls me that, it definitely means nothing good... Speaking of which, the current situation is already the worst!"
As he fretted, Ram covered her mouth and shook her head dismissively. "Considering you've been working hard, I gave you a bit of a good look, yet you're still not satisfied? Really, Subaru."
"Oh! That's more like the onee-sama I know—though there’s still a slight difference." Still not fully feeling the reality of being in charge, Subaru patted his face and reminded himself this wasn’t the time for idle chatter.
In the future, after regaining their memories, everyone would probably be too embarrassed to lift their heads, recalling this foolish, humiliating period when they were under his guidance. Subaru found a bit of bitter amusement in the thought.
---
"To the folly of the Heaven-Sword, is it permissible?"
The hand gripping the sword trembled slightly. Beatrice seemed to sense her contractor's fear; though she should have been just as anxious, she firmly held his other hand.
As the words repeated, the figure that appeared—even without memories—triggered everyone's combat instincts, putting them all on subconscious guard.
Who was that? What was the trial? What should they do now? Yet Subaru couldn't bring himself to ask. Facing the overwhelming aura of an extremely powerful being, standing at the front without retreating a single step was already praiseworthy courage.
Silence. Still silence. His mind began to regret his choices. His chest felt increasingly stifled, his breathing grew faint until it almost stopped. Then, the man with fiery eyes who stared at them showed a flicker of confusion in his expression:
"What the hell? What are you all doing?"
"Eep." Emilia let out a small whimper, like a child scolded by a stern elder.
Amidst the tension, heightened alertness as a knight allowed Subaru to grasp at a thread of reality. The half-elf's voice helped him regain his senses.
"Um, my name is Natsuki Subaru." Finally taking a deep breath through his nose, he forced himself to speak haltingly. "To be honest, we’re not entirely sure what happened either. In short, you suddenly appeared, and we’re at a loss. That’s about it."
The red-haired man raised an eyebrow. "You tryin’ to copy my little brother’s way of talking?"
Subaru opened his mouth, dumbfounded. He had just been trying to add basic courtesy for a first meeting.
"Similar but not... whatever, doesn’t matter." The man spoke to himself, clearly having the confidence to act as he pleased. He scanned the group. "Good woman, good woman, trash... and... hm, cannon fodder."
"Wait, does 'trash' mean me? Also, did you forget to introduce yourself?"
"Hah? Why the hell should I do something unnecessary like that?" The man, who had been inexplicably irritable from his first sentence, snapped impatiently. "But without a name, the impression won’t stick."
"Fine then. I’m just a Batswinger. Tch, you ready or not? Let’s get this started. I’m in a hurry."
---
Brutal. The word surfaced in his swollen head—and "swollen" was no exaggeration.
He had thought about giving up midway, but everyone surprisingly trusted his judgment.
"In your opinion, do we have a chance of defeating that dangerous man?" Just before the battle began, Julius quietly tugged Subaru’s collar.
Though his heart was sinking, the trust in the other’s eyes made Subaru straighten his back. Opportunities always appear if you’re willing to seize them. With that thought, he patted his chest. "If you hadn’t lost your memories, with your abilities, you definitely could have cleared this trial."
---
"I’m almost feeling bad watching this. What kind of tactic is this? A human wave?" The Batswinger scratched his sturdy red hair in annoyance.
"How does that saying go... from zero to one is a qualitative leap. You’re still playing house at zero, while I’ve reached thousands, tens of thousands. Forget defeating me, you can’t even make me take a step. Are you deliberately acting like clowns to make me laugh?"
"Especially you." The Batswinger pointed a finger at the black-haired boy nearly collapsed on the ground, narrowing his eyes and curling his lip in a sneer. "Trash? How about I give you a new name—how about ‘clownfish’?"
---
He wanted to help. He wanted to make up for his mistakes. He wanted to do everything he could.
Perhaps everyone present shared similar thoughts to some degree. So even battered and bruised, they still refused to give up, dragging their weapons to charge at the enemy once more.
He was once the Finest Knight. She was once a royal selection candidate and spirit arts user. She was once the Great Spirit of the Forbidden Library... Those expected to be good often unconsciously shoulder the idea that "with great power comes great responsibility."
"Sorry, I should have called for a retreat earlier." Breaking the silence of mutual recovery was Subaru, his fingers digging into his palms.
"Subaru didn’t do anything wrong." Even as her contractor’s grip hurt, Beatrice simply held on tighter.
"Because everyone lost their memories, they couldn’t use their full strength. I believe in Subaru’s judgment. There’s no need to blame yourself." Emilia placed her hand over his other one, gently smoothing his slightly rough fingers.
Julius offered an arm, gesturing for him to rise from his slumped, dejected posture.
"We need to make a new plan. There’s still much to do. I’m also sorry there’s no time for you to grieve, my dearest friend." Though his words were Spartan, his handsome face wore a sincere smile. Thankfully, Subaru didn’t misunderstand his goodwill.
"Though ‘dearest friend’ is a bit mushy... ‘friend’ is honestly enough."
---
"I’m sorry. I know this battle was asking too much!" Subaru bowed in apology, feeling both wretched and pathetic. For now, this was all he could do well.
"I’ve deeply reflected on my own incompetence for reducing our already scarce combat strength even further."
He closed his eyes, slapped his cheeks hard, and gritted his teeth. "Though Julius and I discussed it and agreed we should deal with the Gluttony threat first, fighting relentlessly one battle after another is too desperate. If we can’t win, it’s meaningless. So my idea is: those who still have strength left should search for Gluttony. The rest will focus on recovery and summarizing our experience."
If someone else had their memories, the choices made would surely be much better than this. Just as Subaru, lost in self-mockery, was about to bow his head again, someone patted his shoulder.
"Giving up after one failure? Doesn’t seem like you." Ram reached out and pinched his ear, perhaps trying to pull him up. The slight chill, cooler than body temperature, made Subaru jolt upright—achieving the goal regardless.
"At the beginning, you loved boasting so much. Really, no choice. I’ll reluctantly teach you one trick." Subaru couldn’t help but lean in to listen, forgetting the red-haired maid before him had also lost her specialty.
"Just muster the courage to cheer for me even if it kills you." Ram winked one eye and gave a sly smile.
Even the hair that usually stood up at his forehead seemed to droop a few strands in stunned confusion. Finally, he couldn’t hold back a chuckle. "Oh, I’ve always had faith in onee-sama, even if it meant death!"
"That’s too heavy..." Emilia murmured.
Clearly, no one opposed Subaru’s suggestion. Julius relaxed his brow slightly.
"Without delay, I’ll take the night watch tonight—"
"Stop!" Hands on hips, Subaru raised his voice, narrowing his eyes in a mix of teasing and genuine displeasure. "You think I can’t see you pushing yourself? You’ve been doing this since the fight with that red-haired bastard!"
"Charging ahead like you’re Reinhard? You must rest tonight. Patrol is a small task—I’ll handle it." He huffed and poked Julius’s right shoulder and waist with force, indeed seeing the other’s eyebrow twitch involuntarily.
"Then it’s settled. I promise—I will definitely restore everyone’s memories." He extended the back of his hand, then lightly pumped a fist for the possibilities ahead.
---
"Don't push yourself too hard."
"Feels like the boomerang's coming right back at me..."
"Don't stay out too late."
"Do you think I'm a child—?"
Trying to keep their hushed conversation in a circle without disturbing others, Subaru couldn't help letting his teasing tone rise. Just as it was about to cross the threshold of the entryway, Emilia gently pressed her fingers against his lips.
"Shh." Both silencing gestures were meant for him. Even the dim evening light couldn't dull the ever-vibrant amethyst of her eyes.
Subaru stood there dumbstruck, forgetting to react. She tilted her head slightly, looking a little troubled. "...Don't you want to listen to what I have to say?"
"Huh? No way, that's not what I meant—" Subaru nearly slipped up again, saved only by the reminder of the girl's fingertips still resting against his lips.
The half-elf girl puffed her cheeks, paying no mind to his flustered reply. "Well then, what's your answer?"
"Okay. I mean—I'll remember, Emilia-tan."
Night watch patrol was, in a sense, a quest for psychological comfort. The true purpose was to search for any traces left by Gluttony.
If the others still had their memories, they probably wouldn't have let him—whose abilities could be considered the weakest—run around alone.
Subaru didn't expect to find clues right at the start of the search all by himself. In any case, he just needed to record every suspicious location.
What if Gluttony had hidden in an area unreachable unless they defeated that red-haired bastard? How could they force him out?
"That guy... does he have any weaknesses at all?" Leaning halfway against the seemingly endless bookshelf, he idly scanned the names on the spines. "Hmm, if I had to say, being a lecher might count as a weakness... But I can't possibly ask Emilia and the others to use their charms!"
"If we can't find Gluttony no matter what, I'll try to squeeze some information out of that bastard Batswinger next time."
Stretching, he noticed the light falling through the open doorway was no longer moonlight, but an ink-like blackness that made Subaru want to retreat. Checking over everything roughly would be enough; he could spend the rest of the time near the dragon carriage. Thinking this, he headed towards the stairwell.
The lantern light didn't grow more dazzling as night fell, and his nerves weren't taut from unseen unknowns. So when his back was merely given a light push—
Subaru tumbled into a dark, unfathomable, endless spiral.
...When the pain of impending doom hit, he realized the fall wasn't as long as he'd imagined.
---
"You... who are you?"
A dull, crushing impact transmitted to his brain. His lungs were pierced by inwardly snapped ribs. Blood-flecked bubbles kept bursting like a boiling froth. After a moment of struggle, his pulse finally faded completely.
Darkness was a feline predator sharpening its claws, waiting for the bait to sink. What would ultimately drive it away would be light.
Cold sweat broke out instantly. His eyes glazed over as he took a deep breath through both his nose and mouth simultaneously. Yet, something more panicked than his own post-resurrection self was the silver-haired half-elf girl now standing before him.
"That, that..." Besides asking who he was, she didn't know what to say, stammering and hesitating in a way uncharacteristic of her.
The Finest Knight found a sword on his person and was the quickest to adopt a guarded stance, ready to draw his blade the next second. The golden-haired loli clutched her skirt, gazing at him with worry and timidity. The red-haired maid instantly retreated several meters, her back nearly against the wall as if ready to bare her teeth at them. Meili stood silently in place, not frozen in fear but wide-eyed with a childlike, curious roundness, observing everything happening around her.
The new save point was here? Should he lament that this was literally the worst possible situation? But he absolutely must not let his foul mood infect the clueless, bewildered group.
"Ahem—allow me to reintroduce myself!" Subaru raised his arm high.
"I am Natsuki Subaru. Na—tsu—ki Su—ba—ru. I hope you can remember my name, because next, I will explain everything about you and me."
---
After settling the injured and explaining the situation, Subaru argued vehemently against the proposal to continue conquering the Watchtower. He had many excuses, leveraging everyone's unease, and tacked on, "As long as we can defeat Gluttony and recover our memories, our next steps will be much easier."
"We don't know Gluttony's characteristics. Isn't it too reckless for a group like this to go searching? Perhaps we should consider splitting into two teams..."
"No!" Subaru dragged out his tone, only realizing a second later that his attitude was too forceful. "What I mean is, Gluttony was a target even all of you with memories found difficult to defeat. Splitting our forces now is definitely not the best choice."
Julius paused. "Jus... as you say. I can't even grasp such logic. Memory loss is truly a headache."
Ram, who had been watching with arms crossed, let out a derisive chuckle. Even amnesia couldn't change her sarcastic personal style.
"Then let's split into pairs for the search," Subaru said, considering that the time was much earlier than the previous cycle, so the information from the last round was probably useless. "Gluttony likely fled in haste after being injured, so we can't overlook anywhere. Emilia and Ram as one pair, Beatrice and I as another, Julius... could I ask you to pair with Meili? Meili will be responsible for keeping watch."
Watching Julius nod, Subaru described Gluttony's appearance clearly and clapped his hands decisively. "Good! Once you find any suspicious traces, regroup with everyone immediately."
---
There was no time to explain too much information, especially about Meili's past. In the previous cycle, unable to resist her persistent questioning, Subaru—though initially hesitant—had chosen to give a rough description.
"So, to Big Brother, am I a bad person?" The Meili from the past cycle was surprisingly unemotional, showing no fear, worry, or sadness.
Subaru shook his head. "You're still young. It was the fault of the guardian's upbringing. I don't blame you. On the contrary, I'm grateful you've helped before."
"I see."
The amnesiac Meili had a very low presence, often staying silent in front of the others.
Fortunately, she was obedient to Subaru's decisions. Even if confused, she ultimately obediently grabbed hold of Julius's robe.
---
Subaru, holding the hand of the golden-haired girl standing beside him, was the first to leave. Considering the location of his death in the previous cycle, he deliberately assigned the third floor to his and Beatrice's search area.
Books packed densely enough to dazzle the eyes stood straight, squeezed between shelves. It seemed there wasn't enough space; once placed, they had to be in the neatest possible arrangement.
Everything was disappointingly normal. Even racking his brains to recall the differences between the library in the last cycle and the current one, Subaru mostly felt like a headless fly without a clue.
There were, of course, suspects, with Gluttony being the prime one. But where was Gluttony hiding? Would the attack happen at the same time and place this time? All were unknowns.
Moreover, what if the culprit was someone else? Were there dangers in the Watchtower beyond his expectations...?
"These book titles... they look like someone's names?" Beatrice stood on tiptoe and pulled out a book whose name appeared to be a woman's.
"Wait, Beako—don't open it!" Subaru grabbed the cover before she could flip the pages, startling Beatrice so much she almost threw the book.
"Wh-what's wrong?" Her face twisted with confusion.
"Sorry, sorry, I didn't have time to explain." He took the book and put it back in place. "The contents of these books are the life stories of people before their deaths. The title is their name. The most dangerous thing is that they make the reader experience the life of the deceased, sharing their feelings. It's very hard to wake up on your own during that without external interference."
Beatrice realized her earlier action was highly risky while searching for an unknown hidden enemy. "Uwah, I'm sorry, Subaru."
"No, no, it's definitely because Beako is too cute, causing me to be so shocked I temporarily forgot."
"What kind of reason is that? Ultimately, it's still my fault, isn't it?" Beatrice tried to put on an annoyed expression, but couldn't perfectly hide her smile.
"Haha... It's not your decision to be cute-looking, and your strengths definitely outweigh your flaws."
Subaru, trying to banter his way past something, suddenly felt his hand squeezed tightly.
It was Beatrice, her brows furrowed. The spirit's gaze held a familiar worry as she looked at her contractor. "Subaru, are you feeling unwell somewhere?"
No, this won't do. We have to trust each other. I have to respond to everyone's unease.
Even without memories, they are still the people I know.
I can't cause them any more trouble.
Subaru smiled and reached out to smooth the unruly golden bangs.
"Maybe... it's a little bit of loneliness."
Despite finding nothing, Subaru had tidied up the area for clarity and convenience in future searches. Before leaving, Beatrice asked, "Can't these books be of any use?"
"I wish they could, but I don't know about that redhead... I mean, there are too many books! Who knows how long it would take to find useful information!" The memory of the brutal defeat flashed in his mind, nearly making him slip up. He flailed, trying to cover it with another topic.
"However, our current understanding of basic knowledge is still incomplete. Using others' memories could at least fill in those gaps." Beatrice tilted her head, adopting the earnest posture of a diligent student.
She said something similar to the last cycle. Subaru put his hands on his hips and looked at her, then suddenly sighed.
Just as Beatrice looked up in confusion, a carefully moderated flick landed on her smooth forehead—"Mgha!" she let out a rather unladylike sound.
"Question: Does what constitutes a person include their memories?" Subaru raised an index finger, sounding like a lecturer with no intention of explaining his "violent act."
"...It does?" Beatrice covered her forehead, her brows knitting again. "If I lost my memory right before that annoying flick, then even if you are my contractor, I would not hesitate to punch a strange stranger who initiated an attack."
"Exactly!" Subaru internally noted that Beatrice's punch probably had zero offensive power and might even have some kind of healing effect, while explaining aloud:
"Everyone here has lost their memories, their histories nearly blank slates. What might happen if, at such a time, they used these books of the dead to experience someone else's life?"
Beatrice lowered her hand in sudden understanding. "They might become the person in the book?"
"—More likely, it would cause self-identity confusion. But either way, it's dangerous." Subaru shrugged.
In the last cycle, these conclusions were reached through group discussion, so they unanimously chose to forgo relying on the library.
"If anyone asks, Beako, remember to warn them."
---
Everyone gathered safely and reported their findings. Subaru breathed a sigh of relief, thinking, As expected, it's not time yet.
Wait for nightfall. Guard duty was naturally essential. During the day, he instead urged everyone to rest more, and during the new round of conversations, he began to grasp some tricks for explaining key matters to the amnesiacs.
He couldn't alert the enemy, so he didn't over-explain his decisions. "Since our search hasn't found Gluttony nearby, we should make good use of this relatively safe period," he glossed over with such rhetoric.
The culprit was definitely Gluttony. So, as long as they tried to catch the real culprit at night, they'd have solved more than half the problem!
The only hesitation was choosing someone for night surveillance.
If pushed off the ledge, Beatrice's spatial transfer or Ram's wind magic could avert the crisis. However, Beatrice's control over magic was still somewhat unskilled. Ram, on the other hand, could use it instinctively but didn't know how to hold back, resulting in poor stamina.
After much thought, Subaru gambled their safety on Beatrice—not just because they were inseparable partners, but also because he could speak more freely with her about many things.
"Beako, can I ask a seemingly nonsensical favor?"
The butterfly within azure eyes looked over. He organized his words: "During the night patrol, I want you to be ready to use spatial transfer at any moment. As for the destination... let's set it near Julius and the others."
He still needed to arrange for the others to stay in a fixed location. Ram, with sharp insight, questioned, "Since we rested extensively during the day, why send only two people out during the energetic nighttime?" Subaru, after consideration, decided to honestly reveal his plan to act as bait.
"That's too dangerous!" Emilia frowned.
"It's fine, it's fine! I have Beako's magic to rely on!" Subaru patted his chest.
"To do something so dangerous... Subaru, I also think you need to be more cautious." Beatrice finally understood what her contractor had asked her to prepare for.
This was bound to become a troublesome situation. But hiding it wasn't a good option either. Telling everyone to stay on high alert while on standby would better prepare them for any sudden developments.
Wearing an awkward, troubled smile, Subaru used his eloquence to calm everyone down. He even blurted out nonsense like, "My most confident ability, though insignificant, is triggering miracles."
---
Subaru's decisive moment quietly arrived.
Pretending to be oblivious to danger, he said, "Beako, sorry to trouble you to stay by my side the whole time. Though it's mainly because I'm most familiar with your abilities."
"Then Subaru must remember to hold my hand properly. Don't accidentally doze off." Beatrice cooperatively pouted.
Footsteps left traces floor by floor. It's not time yet. Endure. Show appropriate vigilance. While talking about how he'd actually be afraid of the dark in such situations—whether childhood fear of darkness stemmed from primal instincts—he masked his nervousness.
He felt unsure. Could the amnesiac group really defeat Gluttony? How much would he have to sacrifice to achieve a happy ending for all? It was human to fear death, to feel timid. In the quiet time, with only their footsteps and breathing present, self-terrifying thoughts ran rampant in his mind.
"Subaru..." Just as the worry threatened to solidify, before Beatrice could be infected by this unease, Subaru slapped his own cheek hard, cursing the cowardly part of himself deep down.
"So boring, Beako," he said, not mentioning the red mark on his cheek. "To be honest, even if it's the Witch Cult, hiding for a whole day, they should go to sleep at night, right?"
"Eh, yes." Beatrice agreed, sounding a bit uncertain.
"Trying to make up for the lack of results during the day with a night where I don't even know what to busy myself with..." Subaru's lips pulled into a smile as he covered his eyes with a hand. "Thinking about it carefully, it's such a good-for-nothing lifestyle."
"Subaru, I know you are trying your best."
"Trying isn't enough. If you don't even know the right direction, isn't that just self-consolation? 'I've tried my best, so no one can blame me.' But what if all the effort is in vain and ends up burdening everyone?"
Such extremely self-deprecating words don't suit Subaru—Beatrice thought of responding this way. But what she lacked wasn't just memories; she was even more deficient in a certain subconscious motivation.
Say that, and then what? She couldn't explain where this intuition came from. All her words felt like empty talk on paper.
Unable to discern how much sincerity was in her contractor's words, the Great Spirit apologized for her own helplessness.
Subaru was stunned for a moment, then laughed softly. "How could it be Beako's fault?"
What would the butterfly effect lead to? As someone who could barely be considered half a time traveler, Subaru was acutely aware of how much his actions could alter outcomes.
Because of this, he was doing his utmost to appear as if he was brooding over the daytime failure.
Not here yet? Still not here? Hurry up! What condition haven't I met?
Ah, right. The condition of being alone... it's crucial, isn't it! Even if Beatrice has lost her memories, she's still a Great Spirit. It's perfectly normal for her to put the enemy on guard!
Subaru's mental state wasn't great. Glancing at the surging night outside, he tried to keep up with the various topics he himself kept throwing out. It seemed he was gradually forgetting the reality where only he retained memories, acting cheerful and joking in a way that often left Beatrice speechless. Sensing the odd atmosphere, she couldn't figure out a solution. The more intently she listened, the dizzier she felt.
"Beako, if you're sleepy, you can go rest first, you know?"
"Oh, okay..." She agreed instinctively before immediately realizing something was wrong. "—Huh?!"
Subaru scratched his hair, which had become messy without him noticing. "Hmm? Why are you looking at me like that? Don't tell me you're going to start mothering me like Emilia too?"
Beatrice's eyes widened. Her small mouth moved as if she was about to blurt out the precautions they had prepared, but she forced her words to take a detour: "Didn't we agree... to patrol together?"
"Huh?" The idiotic look he gave was as if he had completely forgotten their mission from the start. "Oh, didn't we already check the place from top to bottom?"
"It's fine, it's fine, relax. Beako, you go back first. I rested too much during the day, so I want to burn off some energy at night. Oh, and I need to give Julius and the others an answer about our next move."
—Subaru is going to act as bait? Beatrice didn't think her contractor had amnesia. This possibility immediately occurred to her.
It's too dangerous! She was about to shake her head when a force pushed her towards the stairwell.
"Beako is a precious fighting force to me. I know your abilities best, so you must get proper rest." Subaru simply scooped Beatrice up by the waist, ignoring the struggling spirit girl.
"I believe in Beatrice, so please, Beatrice, believe in me too."
Trust—that word successfully made Beatrice freeze.
Finally, she pouted unhappily, looking at him sideways with a glare as she pointed a finger. "Without Betty here, don't you go crying from fear of the dark."
"And you, Beako, watch your step on the way back." Whether Subaru's completely clueless act deserved praise for good acting or was simply his nature, it was hard to say. In any case, the girl being sent away pouted even harder.
---
The estimated time had long passed.
Was it due to the causality altered by the daytime patrol?
Was it still not enough? To expose his back to the enemy even more defenselessly, he wandered repeatedly around the stairwell, starting to feel like an NPC programmed with set behaviors in a game.
Did he do or say something in the last cycle that triggered the enemy's murderous intent? He tried desperately to recall every possible action.
From the heart-pounding tension with every step on the stairs, to the carefully feigned soliloquies to pass the time, to the near-anxious glances at the night scene outside the window.
The dark mass hiding at the window, revealing a small black pupil, was the dusk. Everything looked exactly like that night of death. Everything should have been that night of death. He instinctively looked down.
The spiral grew brighter from bottom to top. It, too, had a black pupil. Three pairs of black eyes gazed at each other. Only the sound one possessed the downside of anxiety and hesitation.
"...Did I still choose wrong?" He stood at the edge, murmuring to the abyss that had once symbolized his grave.
---
"Subaru."
"Subaru-sama."
"Subaru..."
"Big Brother?"
Several pairs of eyes in different colors turned towards the source of the noise.
"You're all awake." The words slipped out under their collective gaze, and he immediately realized how awkward they sounded. Subaru suppressed the urge to sigh. "How should I put this... Sorry for wasting your time. Please, everyone, get some rest. Beatrice and I will continue the patrol."
"What happened, Subaru?" Emilia was the first to ask. Beatrice seemed to sense his emotions and looked concerned.
"Well... saying this makes me seem useless, but it's something I can't run from." Unwilling to be evasive, Subaru faced everyone directly. "I want to say I'm sorry for making the wrong choice. I wasn't confident I could find Gluttony, let alone defeat him."
"I wasted an entire day—I'm sorry!"
Mustering his spirit, he bowed at a perfect ninety degrees, fists clenched as if ready to accept any reprimand.
"In that case, you wouldn't complain if someone gritted their teeth and punched you, right?"
Subaru was stunned for a moment, looking at Ram who had spoken these words. He thought maybe this really would make him feel better.
Beatrice let out a distinctly displeased sound. Emilia's attempt to mediate was stopped by Julius.
"...Yes. Please, Onee-sama, hit me with all your strength!" The other commotion stilled after this declaration.
"Hmph." The not-quite-vibrant red bangs hid part of her remaining visible eye. Ram lowered her head with a cold laugh. The girl's fist wasn't large, but Subaru understood it held power beyond his own.
But memories of his sister's kindness flashed through his mind. Relief and unease passed through simultaneously, and then—his left cheek swelled rapidly, faster than the pain arrived.
"—Didn't you say we are your comrades?!" The accusatory tone made Subaru instinctively suck in a cold breath that got stuck in his throat.
It was Ram gritting her teeth, as if she were the one hurt and humiliated: "Yet when something happens, you think about cutting ties and bearing it alone! Do you think playing the hero is cool?!"
The glare from those red eyes held anger, resentment, and a flicker of conflict. Subaru swallowed hard before realizing his true mistake:
He, Natsuki Subaru, had never achieved what he had now by himself.
After succumbing to his own powerlessness, he once again grasped the fact that he was never alone. At this moment, even the stinging pain in his cheek was forgotten. With genuine, single-minded focus, he bowed his head and said:
"I'm sorry! Because of my incompetence, I caused all this! From now on, allow me to be shameless and ask you to lend me your strength, whatever you can give!"
From the side, Julius sighed, wearing the familiar smile of the Finest Knight—a sight that, for once, didn't stir dislike in Subaru's heart. "But of course, my friend."
For now, if we can't find Gluttony, do we still have to deal with that red-haired bastard?
"Subaru, don't push yourself too hard." Beatrice shook her head at him.
Subaru averted his eyes slightly, hiding his unease from being seen.
He was practically straining his imagination to consider the possibility of Gluttony not appearing. After all, whether Gluttony was truly the culprit still needed verification. But besides Gluttony, were there any other suspects? He couldn't very well suspect the amnesiac group.
Had he done something wrong that caused Gluttony not to appear? After much thought, the most crucial point was the one he was currently most unwilling to face—the trial given by the self-proclaimed Batswinger.
He couldn't just remain at a loss, waiting for the enemy to make the first move, especially with them in the dark and the enemy hidden. Having experienced countless hells, Subaru steeled his resolve:
"Let's start discussing tactics."
We will win. Believe in everyone's strength.
A deep breath, followed by placing his hand on the pile of others' hands. At the very least, let courage be the backbone. As long as he didn't give up, they wouldn't truly fail.
Subaru mentally prepared himself, while the others, without objection, gathered their resolve.
They seemed accompanied by a radiant light, encouraging each other, even exchanging playful barbs and jabs, just like an invincible story's main cast. No matter how many life-threatening hardships they faced, they could always turn things around at the last moment.
And then—in just ten minutes, they were brutally kicked out of the trial, reappearing in a disheveled and sorry state, leaning on each other for support.
"This was inevitable..." Subaru muttered self-deprecatingly, one side of his face swollen.
He had expected to have to stare at that red-haired man's annoying face and go through several cycles of trial-and-error. He had mentally prepared to lose, yet a sliver of hope had been kindled by his clueless companions' encouragement. That's why, now, along with the deep sense of defeat, he felt an extra layer of apology.
No one spoke discouraging words, because Subaru, ever the pessimist, had already given ample warning, explaining that the trial's content wasn't something easily overcome in their amnesiac state. For now, the group focused on tending wounds and summarizing mistakes and the enemy's moves. Even though the "Batswinger" had acted completely bored and casual the whole time, no one was disheartened by it.
Feeling he had contributed the least and sustained the lightest injuries, Subaru did his best to put on a smile, saying he could handle his own wounds, and watched as everyone else entered the room.
"Look on the bright side—at least everyone is much more familiar with their original abilities. Some even managed to use forgotten techniques through muscle memory in the heat of the moment." Subaru summarized to himself, trying to find comfort.
"As for what's next... Gain experience by taking hits, I suppose. Maybe my physical stamina will have some unexpected growth too." He found a bit of bitter amusement in the thought.
Tending his wounds was just an excuse to sort out his thoughts. Subaru didn't really care much about the superficial injuries on his abdomen and face. Sporting a subtly throbbing, puffy face, he slipped upstairs to the window for some air.
"Trying to solve these things cleverly seems impossible at this point." Subaru propped up the uninjured side of his face. "Then I'll be a pragmatist and take it step by step."
Overthinking now was just adding unnecessary worries. Straightening up, he threw a fist towards the red of the setting sun and shouted, "I'll absolutely wipe that damn mocking grin off your face, Batswinger!!"
After the roar that seemed to expel all the oxygen from his lungs, the not-so-old boy suddenly realized something and felt a flush of embarrassment—wait, was the soundproofing on this floor any good? He hoped Emilia and the others hadn't heard him.
Ram might curl one corner of her lips at his foolish act. Julius would probably press his forehead, stifling a laugh... Faced with such scenes, Subaru would likely turn red and argue that it was a stress-relief method passed down in his hometown.
He purposely listened carefully, afraid he might hear someone's soft chuckle—
"...It's a bit... too quiet?"
Even the wind was whisper-quiet.
Just as Subaru was about to turn around, the laughter he had imagined arrived belatedly:
"So here you are?"
The familiar, loathsome face of a short stature—one he'd never forget even in death—let out the most detestable sneer. And so, Subaru finally heard the second environmental sound: the drip, drip of blood sliding down the knife handle held by Gluttony behind him.
"Such commendable effort. I'll specially grant you the enjoyment of death for just an instant."
---
Subaru opened his eyes.
He should perhaps morbidly remark that his ability was finally useful. However, he couldn't laugh. Facing a group of amnesiac companions, their inquiries full of wariness or concern.
And just a moment ago, the culprit was right behind him, wielding a sneer a thousand times more hateful than the red-haired bastard's, and beheaded him with a single slash.
"I am... Natsuki Subaru."
He heard his own voice trembling. He saw the surrounding companions observing him with doubt and even fear.
He pinched his cheek. It seemed his teeth were welded shut, every sound forced through gritted teeth.
"Sorry, I lost my composure." Subaru lowered his head completely, his expression unreadable.
"Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am Natsuki Subaru, and you are my important comrades."
---
Choosing not to waste any more time, he hurriedly explained the situation clearly, entered the trial, and struggled against the Batswinger as if racing against a clock.
Guessing that the reason for being pushed down the stairs in the first cycle might have been entering the trial, which attracted Gluttony to take advantage of their vulnerability, Subaru specifically once again pleaded with the exhausted group to stay vigilant. Surprisingly, they passed the night without incident.
After resting, they attempted the trial again on the second day. Then, while everyone was weakened from failure and healing, Gluttony appeared. Even with precautions, they ultimately couldn't escape a fate of total annihilation.
It seemed Gluttony had digested their memories and learned the weaknesses of their abilities, even playfully using skills they once possessed, staining a corner of the Sage's Tower crimson.
Death. Open eyes.
Death. Open eyes.
Death. Open eyes.
Not proceeding with the trial and staying put was equivalent to waiting for death while the enemy hid in the shadows. Waiting for Gluttony to heal and fully digest the memories meant the first to be eliminated would be the unstable factor—Natsuki Subaru. Attempting the trial would also invite the enemy to strike at their weakest.
—It won't work. It won't work. This path leads nowhere!
The amethyst pupils of the silver-haired half-elf reflected the black-haired boy—frightened, furious, broken, lost, self-doubting... All these emotions would ultimately drown in the endless, unknowable sea of cycles.
And in the twenty-first cycle, refusing to be immersed in the unchanging loop, Subaru's face held a graver expression than anyone else present. Taking a deep breath under everyone's puzzled gazes, he declared:
"My name is Natsuki Subaru! I am Emilia-tan's knight, Beako's contractor!"
Under the watchful eyes of all, the youthful-looking boy seemed to have changed his core, displaying a vigor fitting his appearance.
"I am Rem's hero, Ram's punching bag—no, Ram's colleague!"
Facing their incomprehensible stares, these were the words Subaru had first spoken, the most genuine statements.
"I am Meili's big brother, and Julius's friend... though I'm not too keen on admitting that last part myself."
After several cycles, wanting to figure out the culprit who killed him on the first night, or rather, hoping Gluttony would appear on the first night to see if there was any opportunity, Subaru chose the most foolish method—recreating all the events of the first cycle.
For a moment, Subaru felt a flicker of gratitude for everyone's amnesia. If his companions still had their memories, they would absolutely realize how wooden and scripted his current dialogue was.
"We don't mean to doubt you, Subaru, but everyone really wants to know about their identities and pasts." Emilia tilted her head, even adding a hint of pleading.
"Well, besides Emilia being one of the royal selection candidates, the rest is—you're incredibly kind and beautiful! So beautiful that even villains get jealous, and some cling to you like flies!"
"Villains...?"
"Like the Archbishop of Gluttony who caused everyone to lose their memories."
...
Next was Ram.
"Sister! Do you have anything you want to ask?"
Ram was momentarily stunned, then quickly curled her lips in a seemingly mischievous smile. "From the sound of it, I am your superior?"
"What, what? It's just a term of respect, absolutely! Sister Ram, if you have questions, please ask quickly!"
"You said Rem is my sister. Why not tell me about her too?"
...
"Let me make this clear, I don't have many opinions about a guy like you, who's full of hidden depths."
"In that case, a rough outline will suffice."
...
"Rather than my own affairs, I'd like to know more about you, Subaru."
...
Finally, Subaru reached out and pulled Meili, who had been hiding behind him but boldly observing everyone while eavesdropping with her ears, to the front.
"Your turn, Miss Meili. Don't you have anything you want to ask?"
Subaru faintly remembered her next line: "So, Big Brother, you didn't actually intend to avoid talking to me?"
Back then, he had been concerned about her past record.
But this time, Meili didn't say the same thing. After thinking seriously for a moment, she asked:
"How about... Big Brother tells me as much as you can?"
...
Books. Books everywhere. It could be called a space surrounded by books, more accurately, Books of the Dead.
Putting on the act of a country bumpkin seeing the world for the first time, the performance might be a bit exaggerated, but for Subaru, as long as it was effective, he didn't need to fuss over details.
Choosing a book to start with, the process involved being anxiously called back to consciousness by the others, followed by Subaru "suddenly realizing" and warning everyone about the dangers of these books.
Facing the Batswinger's trial, Subaru arrogantly cursed and complained.
The brutal, utterly expected outcome of defeat. Even though his heart was numb from being accustomed to failure, he did his best to act out dejection and apology.
Relying on everyone's comfort this way, accepting their suggestions.
There were still loopholes, but the major events were no different.
If it fails, just start over again. Subaru thought, as if it had nothing to do with him.
...
The ink-black night settled in his vision. Every night felt so similar, making him dazed. In his muddled state, what Subaru saw were his own failures, his lack of gains. This was what he had experienced the most.
Gluttony won't come.
And if they do, could I really find a way to handle it?
I'll die. In this cycle, I can't do anything again. I'll just watch everyone, including myself, die.
...His mind was filled with these dark thoughts until the dim lantern light swayed before his eyes, as if someone waved a hand in front of his face.
Looking up, it was time to leave the archive.
Right, what was he supposed to do now?
Talk to himself? Stretch? Act scared?
The numb person's steps became somewhat flustered.
But without realizing it, he found himself walking towards the stairwell. Upon hearing extremely light footsteps, Subaru didn't forget to raise his lantern quickly and turn around to look—
"Your reactions can be surprisingly quick at times? Almost as if you're deliberately baiting. You usually seem quite foolish, don't you?"
A short stature he had to look down to see fully, a tone mocking and full of curiosity.
This time, the culprit was truly caught, standing right before him, brazenly. At this very moment, Subaru's lower lip trembled rapidly.
"—Meili?"
"Mm? Meili?" The girl, having withdrawn her hand, touched her lips, taking a moment to process. "Oh, right, I'm Meili."
"Should I call you an insatiable gentleman? Even trying to take in former enemies." Meili's voice was soft, her posture dignified, even her eerie smile gradually shifting into something familiar. "Or is it because she's a child that you're softhearted?"
Subaru's face was a mask of incomprehension. He was starting to fail to understand what he himself had done. Had all his repeated attempts only led to this—being killed by someone he considered a companion?
"Why... This has to be a joke..."
"Why? Is it hard to understand? It shouldn't be, right?" Meili tilted her head in confusion, then clasped her hands as if having an epiphany. "Ah, I see. You haven't recognized my identity yet."
"How disheartening for a lady."
Meili swung the braid Subaru himself had tied for her, tracing a beautiful arc in the air. She reached out her hand, as if inviting him for a dance, and caressed his chest.
"It's a pity I don't have the ability right now to slice open your abdomen while you're still alive."
Her tongue moistened her lips, savoring the despair in the air with delight and satisfaction.
Her fingertips pressed down. As his body tilted, they slid down, finally reaching the abdominal cavity she so coveted.
The prey did not struggle, resembling a statue, an inanimate object, as the extinguished light returned to the endless, spiraling cycle.
The twenty-second cycle.
"You are... Ah—!"
The silver-haired half-elf cried out in alarm, entirely due to the sudden embrace from this stranger.
Though the embrace held no lewdness, no possessive desire, it was like seeking a suitable shelter, hiding from all probing gazes.
"Sorry... I'm sorry..."
The stranger murmured into her shoulder.
"Just for a moment... Sorry, I can explain..."
After a long while, the silver-haired girl only patted his back in response.
The words had become a prophecy, and Subaru experienced their power firsthand.
The danger of the Books of the Dead to these amnesiacs was greater than imagined. The slightest misstep could lead to cognitive errors.
Finding bitter amusement in being grateful that he hadn't let the others touch the Books of the Dead. As for Meili, he guessed that after telling her about her past, she had slipped out while everyone was resting, found Elsa's Book of the Dead on a shelf, and read it, leading to this series of sickening, farcical events.
Wasting an entire cycle just to understand there were no shortcuts from the beginning? Subaru felt so frustrated and annoyed he wanted to laugh.
How many cycles could he use, with less than two days each time, to make everyone as familiar as possible with skills described only verbally, pass the trial, and then defeat Gluttony?
Subaru from the last cycle didn't know. Subaru from this cycle didn't know. Subaru from the next cycle, the cycle after that...
"My name is Subaru."
Disgusting.
"My name is Subaru."
I want to vomit.
"My name is Subaru."
Shut up.
"Take a rest." Emilia from the thirty-second cycle tousled his hair.
"Why don't you close your eyes too and get some sleep?" Ram from the forty-fifth cycle patted his shoulder.
"You're pushing yourself too hard." Julius observed and concluded during the fifty-first cycle's tirelessly repeated instruction.
But no, no, no, no—they'll be killed. Not taking action is the same as waiting for death! Why can't they understand this? Why don't they believe that I can find a way to solve this predicament?!
Those gentle, soft words made Subaru realize, from the truest perspective of the first week that occupied most of his life, that in his companions' eyes, he was a striving yet utterly powerless wretch.
The one hundred and thirteenth time he opened his eyes.
"My name is Subaru," he said. "I am your important companion."
"Before entering the trial, I have a few things to say."
Julius looked at the boy who claimed to be their comrade. The emotion on his face was less solemn and more accurately described as a mix of hopeless indifference and other complex feelings.
"We will face a very strong opponent. The chance of winning through direct confrontation is infinitely close to zero. So, I need you all to act weak, behave like fools, and make the enemy lower their guard."
The boy named Subaru, who called himself a knight with conspicuously black hair, lowered his head slightly, his eyes rolling up to glance at everyone's expressions. It made Julius feel deeply uncomfortable.
"Try not to get injured in the first battle. I'd prefer to act along with the enemy's attacks, pretending to be knocked flying or unconscious. But considering we don't have much time to hone such peripheral skills... In short, our goal is to lull the enemy into a false sense of security."
A gaze from the red-haired Oni girl beside him fell on him. Suppressing the urge to meet it, Julius nodded along with the others and followed the boy's lead.
---
"You clearly could do it, couldn't you?!"
The spirit girl flinched at his words.
"Or do you absolutely need to have a real fight with that red-haired bastard, with everyone in crisis, before you can truly unleash your power?"
The boy named Subaru seemed not to understand the meaning of "asking too much." His teeth were unconsciously grinding.
"Is there still enough time? Maybe we should sacrifice all our sleep..."
"Subaru, there's no need to push so hard..." Beatrice tried to press closer to her contractor's hand, hoping to offer a sliver of comfort.
Julius stood before the boy, his sword held in a defensive stance, silent as if the earlier anger hadn't been directed at him.
Subaru almost shook off the spirit's hand. It took him two or three seconds to realize what he'd done and apologize: "Sorry, Beako. But I need you to trust my judgment right now, okay?"
He turned his gaze back to the deliberately cleared training area. "Continue. This training is necessary to clear the trial and deal with that damn Gluttony."
Suddenly, Julius lowered his sword and looked directly at Subaru, who called himself a knight.
"You said our relationship is just that of friends, right?"
Subaru didn't understand what the "just" in his words was supposed to signify. He stifled his impatience, setting aside the multitude of thoughts crowding his mind for a moment.
"...Yeah, so what?"
Julius smiled slightly. "Nothing."
---
"Thank you for training with me through the night." Subaru said the words, but his face showed only numbness and exhaustion. His business-like demeanor had turned weary, his brow unconsciously furrowed, his originally intimidating demeanor now even more difficult to approach.
"Next, we need to prepare for our second attempt at the trial. Follow my instructions. Ensure I remain conscious and standing on the field throughout." Subaru recalled the cycle where the red-haired bastard, annoyed by his chattering, had knocked him out first.
He roughly outlined the plan he could only keep in his own mind, voicing his concern: "Do you understand?"
No one raised an objection, but no one responded either.
Just as Subaru was growing impatient, Julius broke the silence, asking: "Do you think this is enough for us to win?"
"..."
Subaru was uncharacteristically stunned by the question. In the limited memories of those present, the black-haired boy held absolute dominant authority.
"We won't know unless we try."
His answer was evasive.
"In other words, you can't guarantee success either?"
"What are you trying to say?" Subaru clenched his fists.
Julius had always maintained a certain distance from this so-called friend before him. He shrugged. "The trial doesn't have a limit on attempts, right?" This was information they could infer from the Batswinger.
Subaru couldn't stand this strange, eerie atmosphere. "Speak plainly." All he wanted, all that filled his mind, was clearing the trial and then slaughtering that Gluttony bastard. He refused to consider anything else, anything unimportant.
"If there's no limit on attempts, why is your training pushing everyone so relentlessly?" Julius asked.
"Didn't I already explain? The culprit who caused your amnesia will appear soon. Having digested your memories, he knows your weaknesses perfectly..."
"—In that case, isn't the culprit who caused our amnesia... you?"
...Huh?
Finally losing the initiative, Subaru's mouth hung open under the force of gravity. His wide, stunned eyes reflected the image of Julius drawing his sword.
"What are you saying?" Completely unable to understand his companion's sudden betrayal, Ram took a step back. Emilia hesitated... Only Beatrice, not giving up, held onto his increasingly cold fingertips.
"Let's assume for now that Natsuki Subaru is your real name." Julius pointed his sword blade at the boy who was still acting clueless. "Return our memories now, and we might consider mitigating your punishment depending on the situation."
Faced with this aggressively pressing, utterly strange comrade, Subaru finally retreated a step. "I don't understand what you're trying to say..."
The tight furrow of Julius's brow expressed disappointment at the boy's continued pretense. "Calling you 'all brawn and no brain' would be too generous. Being toyed with by someone like you is my shame."
"No, that's not right, Julius. When have I ever deceived you?" Filled with a sense of absurdity, Subaru forced a smile, laced with bewilderment and a faint flicker of hope. "I see. You're joking with me, right? Julius, Ram, Emilia-tan... At a time like this, let's put trivial matters aside, okay?"
His legs trembled slightly. Was it from fear? Even after dying so many times?
Even so. Despite that. He took a step forward, ignoring Beatrice's attempt to stop him.
He had to earn everyone's trust. Time was running out.
They were comrades. Everyone should trust Subaru, just as he had decided to save them even if it killed him.
"—Natsuki Subaru."
The sword held against his neck blocked his path.
"We are merely friends from different camps. Ram is simply your colleague. Emilia is the royal candidate to whom you should pledge your loyalty." Julius looked down upon the human facade worn by this "prime suspect."
"Why does your knowledge of our abilities far exceed the boundaries of these roles? Why do you lack even basic respect for us?"
Ram added with disgust, not to be outdone: "Thinking you can command everyone with the cheapest effort of mere words? To protect a weakling like you who only stands by and watches? How laughably naive."
---
Just before the impending crisis could erupt, Beatrice managed to transport Subaru to an empty corner. At least the training hadn't been entirely in vain.
"...Beako?"
As if the world had slowed down a beat before his eyes, Subaru looked around. It felt like a brief memory from just minutes before being consumed by Gluttony, the awkward situation momentarily forgotten.
"Where did everyone go? Why did they leave me behind?"
He surveyed his surroundings, realizing he wasn't far from his previous location.
Even if it meant betraying the precious spirit's kindness, he forced himself not to retreat. Step by step, he moved forward like an innocent person heading to the courtroom.
"Don't worry..."
He pulled his lips into a smile, ensuring he presented a fresh, positive impression to his companions.
"There's always a way. They'll understand."
"Because we're comrades, right?"
---
"Assuming everything you say is true, then where did you obtain information on Gluttony's movements, the trial's content, our abilities?"
Consciousness was gradually returning.
"Answer me seriously, Natsuki Subaru."
"I knew these things from the start. I'm not lying."
His lips moved, stubbornly repeating the words.
"The scope of your prophecy is too narrow, 'prophet'."
A mockery, devoid of mercy.
Only when he saw the floor tiles before him did Subaru belatedly realize he was being held and forced to kneel on the ground.
"Stop being so obstinate." Julius's gaze was cold.
"Full of holes." Ram assessed with disgust.
"Please, just give our memories back honestly, okay?" Emilia, finally convinced by the various pieces of evidence, leaned down anxiously to ask.
Meili, meanwhile, widened her eyes, not frightened by the scene but rather brimming with curiosity as she watched everything unfold from a corner.
Subaru shuddered under those childlike, mirror-like eyes that held neither malice nor kindness. As his mind cleared slightly, he realized there was still room to struggle.
Gluttony. As long as he survived until Gluttony himself appeared, everything could still be salvaged.
But then—
Subaru suddenly realized something.
"Where's Beako?"
Kneeling on the ground, he looked around frantically, straining his neck. He grabbed the arm that was holding him down, breathing rapidly, pleading and almost ingratiating as he forced a smile up at the upright figures of authority.
"Um, Julius, Beako, she... Please, I beg you, tell me where Beako went?"
The former hero was brought to a point of extreme humiliation, wishing he could prostrate himself on the ground. "I need her, I really, really need her! Please, I'm begging you, where is Beako? She was just with me..."
Julius, who had been aggressively pressing from the start, looked at the boy on the ground, as pathetic as a drowned rat. For once, he fell silent.
But as one of the judges, he soon dutifully delivered the verdict for Subaru's accomplice:
"I watched her... shatter into points of light and disappear."
---
...
"My name is Natsuki Subaru. I am Emilia's childhood friend, Julius's classmate, Ram and Rem's lifelong companion..."
Countless cycles of opening his eyes. He was growing accustomed to concealment and deceit.
"I can foresee events that will happen in the near future, but its activation is quite random."
Lies.
"You all are like family to me."
Lies.
"Anastasia's condition is not good. We need to find a way out of this Watchtower quickly."
Lies.
"My plan can get you all out of here and restore your memories." A smile, then an outstretched hand. "All I need is your obedience."
Who would ultimately have to swallow the bitter fruit of the bloody truth behind those words?
---
Subaru became single-mindedly trapped in the cycle of failure and regression, until the lies could slip out flawlessly, until the falsehoods piled up in his mind, blurring into reality.
Words could solve some problems. But what if the enemy was so overwhelmingly powerful it led to despair?
How many cycles did it take for him to cast aside his dignity, throwing a tantrum, begging for a name from that face he was already sick of seeing—a face he could depict in minute detail with pen and paper?
Ordering trusted comrades to read the Books of the Dead. If the influence was too deep, move to the next cycle, the next book. Do everything possible to seize any chance of victory.
Subaru needed time. The one thing Subaru had in endless supply was time.
If using all his schemes and tricks wasn't enough to pass the trial, then he would become a pitiful wretch, one whose very glance would challenge one's sense of morality. Crying, begging, exploiting loopholes... until he finally saw the glimmer of opportunity borne from the enemy's complacency.
Roughly estimated, this was the four thousand three hundredth time opening his eyes.
From an outsider's perspective, it might have looked like flesh-and-blood acting, but the machine named Natsuki Subaru was merely starting a new round of work.
The faces of his companions swayed back and forth before his eyes, inducing nausea. The tedious and monotonous introductions, the explanations of skill usage he was probably more familiar with than their pre-amnesiac selves.
Subaru couldn't remember when he last lay down to rest. The relentless trial-and-error had gone on for so long he had almost lost the very instinct for sleep.
He continued. In the trial, as if bound by iron law, the First Sword Saint, Reid, would appear, ignoring everyone's wariness to open negotiations—
"Fine, I'll let you pass. But only you. Now get out and stop bothering me."
The Batswinger clicked his tongue, waving dismissively at the insect-like weakling before him. The strong always had the confidence to look down on others.
"...Huh?"
Subaru's eyes widened, unable to immediately digest the sudden change of a mountain blocking his path voluntarily moving aside.
"Can't you hear me telling you to scram? Or would you rather get a beating?"
"N-no, of course not... Huh? Ah, I mean, thank you, Mr. Reid."
At the very least, Subaru had cleared the trial. At the very least, he was no longer stuck at an endless zero.
His heart pounded, pumping blood.
Even after a desperate, last-ditch resistance, his flesh and tissue still couldn't stop the blade from slicing into his chest.
Screams, sobs, accusations—and joy that stood in stark contrast.
"You... are you insane?" The Gluttony before him asked bewilderedly.
He blinked, only then realizing that before the battle aimed at killing began, the one wearing a genuine smile wasn't the dominant Archbishop of Sin, but himself.
"You really are a troublesome one," Subaru replied, his words not matching the question.
"Is that all you have for last words?"
"Too much chatter. If you insist on small talk, why not tell me what your weakness is?"
The only one still standing mocked. The next second, his vocal cords were cleanly severed, and he fell into the same pool of blood.
The five thousandth time.
"Could we put aside clearing the trial and focus solely on fighting Gluttony... But Gluttony most likely has accomplices, acting as eyes and ears near everyone. Dragging it out... training while fighting an elusive enemy, all while sacrificing sleep and staying on high alert... the result would only be us collapsing from exhaustion first."
The five thousand three hundredth time.
"If we introduce the Books of the Dead as an unstable factor, would there be a chance to see change?"
The six thousand four hundredth time.
"So there are three Gluttonies."
The eight thousandth time.
"Is there still a trump card... Why not use it earlier? Are there negative side effects?"
The nine thousand six hundredth time.
"He got away."
Trembling, half-leaning, half-crawling to support himself up, Subaru scanned the faces around him—anxious and helpless, wanting to apprehend Gluttony yet powerless.
"What day is it today anyway?" The most irrelevant thought popped into his head.
"Subaru-sama!" The desperate, futile call was noisy, souring his slightly improved mood.
It was Julius, holding Ram in his arms. Subaru frowned. "If Gluttony isn't dead, we don't have much time to recuperate."
Even when they finally offered their trust, these amnesiacs always did things Subaru found utterly unreasonable. If only they would just follow orders. That would be enough. He was already being plenty considerate of them. Since they knew they were of little use, they should stop chattering and expressing their opinions!
"...But," he impatiently met Julius's incredulous gaze. "Ram... she's dead, isn't she?"
"Sorry, I... I lost track of him." The spirit knight stammered, feeling ashamed, looking at the boy who, from the moment he could remember, had been surrounded by a low-pressure aura yet pretended to be amiable, whose speech didn't match his youthful appearance, as if addressing a superior officer.
Subaru lifted his eyelids slightly. "Why?" His expression was neither sorrowful nor joyful, which was precisely what made it terrifying.
At least their companions, whose lives were safe and sound, didn't understand how incredibly difficult it was to pass the trial within a short time while suffering from amnesia and simultaneously manage to outmaneuver the Archbishop of Sin to achieve a temporary victory.
"I know Gluttony still has the strength to fight back, and I was prepared for a counterattack. I managed to injure him, but to stop him completely... I couldn't do it..." Deep, bottomless black pools reflected the dulled purple hair. Julius hurriedly corrected himself, "—Just give me more time! Please teach me more! I won't make a mistake next time!"
The other was tormenting himself, his emotions gradually boiling over. Even a simple "It's okay, you worked hard" would have been enough to soothe him, but Subaru showed no intention of responding at all.
"Three hundred and seventy-five times." The number suddenly escaped his lips, seemingly nonsensical.
"The results I got were all pretty much the same."
"Is it truly impossible to defeat Gluttony in one single battle?" His sigh caused waves of unease and panic among the others.
"Rest and recover... Hah. And then give Gluttony another chance to strike at our weakest, let another variable increase."
The undisputed central figure ground his teeth loudly, then swept his gaze over his companions' condition. Calmness descended just as suddenly.
"...This time, the damage Gluttony caused was much less than estimated?"
He absolutely would kill Gluttony.
For anger? For revenge? For pain?
Subaru had long forgotten what these things actually meant to him. Therefore, this final goal had turned into an obsession, becoming the fuel that drove the machine-like him.
Lye Batenkaitos's bizarre, ugly true face was right before his eyes.
Move, move, move—
Someone, anyone, stand up, kill him!
He never wanted to see that disgusting face again in his lifetime, so he absolutely would make him die.
If no one could do it, if everyone kept making excuses for their incompetence, then he would do it himself.
Ten times managing to get close to his side was the best result. A hundred instances of physical contact would mean it was over. A thousand times injuring the enemy who was in retreat.
—Just how many times had it been?
Panting heavily, looking down for the first time at the corpse of the enemy who had always been so arrogant and domineering when alive, Subaru belatedly realized:
...Is it over?
The corner of his mouth twitched. Without looking at the reactions of his companions behind him, he showed a twisted expression, part laugh, part cry.
"Subaru..." The call about to be voiced was interrupted as the boy fiercely kicked the corpse.
Amidst the gazes of concern or retreat, Subaru finally remembered to soothe everyone's emotions—after all, the entire nightmare was over, wasn't it?
"Don't worry. I just don't want to see this guy's face anymore, so I turned him over." The boy standing on the corpse smiled brilliantly.
In the eerie atmosphere, Julius's throat moved twice, his expression as if he were the one who had done something wrong.
"Subaru-sama... none of us have recovered our memories."
The girl had a very long dream.
In the dream, there was a pair of hands different from her own—fingers slightly longer, somewhat rough yet warm, holding hers.
The owner of those hands wasn't strong, but as long as they were pressed together, a feeling of being capable of anything would surge in her heart.
"Rem."
She heard someone solemnly call her name in a low voice.
The blue-haired girl named Rem opened her eyes, dazed and bleary as she yawned.
She vaguely remembered having a pleasant dream.
As for the dream's content... Rem couldn't remember.
"Sister?"
Rem was actually somewhat unsure about the identity of the red-haired girl before her—the messy, clearly unkempt hairstyle, coupled with an overly respectful and deferential attitude.
"Sorry, Rem. I've also lost my memory due to Gluttony, so I don't remember our past." Ram bowed slightly.
Rem was startled again by this attitude. "Please don't be like this! Of course, it's not Sister's fault!"
After roughly understanding the specific course of events, she imperceptibly furrowed and then quickly relaxed her brow.
"So, this gentleman named Natsuki Subaru did his utmost to help everyone eliminate the Witch Cult's Archbishop of Sin, right?" Secretly feeling relieved, Rem smiled politely at the unfamiliar stranger with black hair and black eyes.
"...Huh?"
But the deeper meaning of her words caused everyone to fall silent for a second.
The sudden change came so abruptly that even Subaru, who had been repeatedly worrying over the follow-up methods of recovering their memories, couldn't help but speak in unison.
Finally, it was Ram who, wide-eyed, asked blankly:
"Rem... shouldn't you have known Subaru since childhood... along with me?"
"I don't know any so-called hero named Natsuki Subaru at all."
Bad.
"Best friend? Family? Childhood friend? What a joke! There has never been a guest named Natsuki Subaru registered at Lord Roswaal's mansion, let alone having any close relationship with us!"
Bad.
"Don't you dare call my name! Still trying to lie?! That disgustingly intense stench of the Witch lingering on you, getting so close to everyone with that hypocritical act—you think you can manipulate everyone with lies?!"
Bad.
"The culprit who caused everyone to lose their memories might very well be this guy! This guy is the 'Gluttony' he's been talking about!"
The girl staring at him, radiating negative emotions from hatred, left a deep impression on Subaru, who was still weakly defending himself, of her as an Oni.
"Wait, think about it calmly! Where does my contract with Beako come from? Gluttony is already dead! If I were Gluttony, then whose body is that?" Subaru placed a hand over his chest. "Rem, it's me! I'm your hero!"
"Stop acting so familiar!" If she had a weapon in hand, Rem would likely have already thrown it. "You have the ability to devour memories. Changing an innocent person's perception to become your scapegoat wouldn't be difficult for you!"
"You know far too much about that so-called Gluttony." The role of the continuing juror shifted to Ram, whose nature rebelled against obeying a fraud with no real skills. "Your grasp of his personality traits can't simply be called prophecy."
"Moreover, after killing that so-called Gluttony, our memories haven't recovered." Julius presented the evidence.
"But Rem recovered, didn't she? How do you explain the contract between Beako and me?!" The defendant tried to argue on reasonable grounds.
"Is Rem truly an amnesiac? Isn't all this just your one-sided claim? Perhaps she was merely temporarily unconscious, which made you let your guard down."
"Lady Beatrice may have been deceived by you. After forming the contract, you erased that memory."
...
Continuously defending himself, continuously being refuted, until becoming incoherent, until being left speechless. It seemed that from the moment he fell into the trap of trying to prove his own innocence, Subaru's fate had already been decided.
"—Stop being so obstinate."
The same words again.
Subaru didn't know that, in everyone's eyes, he was wearing a helpless, foolish smile, with salty liquid flowing into the corner of his mouth.
"...But I saved you all. I really am your comrade..."
"Is it because I haven't fulfilled the promise to restore your memories yet? I'll do it. I beg you, please believe me? No matter how many times, I'll search..."
A sigh came from Julius.
"It seems he won't tell the truth."
Death. Open eyes.
Death. Open eyes.
Death. Open eyes.
The wish to never see Gluttony again had been fulfilled.
What was the new wish?
For the countless time, everyone looked with hostility at the criminal who had toyed with them, constantly ordering and commanding his so-called companions—the intensely thick, almost palpable stench of the Witch lingering on him served as the best proof of guilt.
The Archbishop of Sin they had convicted was giving them an indecipherable smile.
"I do have a method to restore your memories."
The final wish of the criminal would be realized simultaneously.
"—Kill me. Then go find a Book of the Dead named 'Natsuki Subaru'."