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He did not like the looks the rest of the squad kept sending his way. Confused, impressed, the Troopers even looked a little awestruck, and every last one of them made him feel like more of an idiot than he already did. The worst had been Sephiroth’s gaze, cold and empty. It was a look that would be seared into his brain forever.
Even in the early days of knowing him, back when Cloud had just been Zack’s quiet Army buddy, Sephiroth had never been expressionless. It was not that he lacked emotions, as others had suggested. He was simply reserved in what he shared with others. Cloud had always been able to get some idea of what Sephiroth was thinking or feeling as long as he paid attention.
After the fight had ended, Sephiroth had looked through Cloud instead of at him, almost like he could not even see him.
Cloud had finally worked through the typical clumsiness that came with Third Class enhancements. It took him a week to reach the point where he could pick up a cup without shattering it or open a door without ripping the handle off. As soon as he had shown himself to be in control, Zack had put a sword in his hand.
His dream had come true at last. Angeal, Genesis, Zack and Sephiroth worked tirelessly to find the extent of his new abilities. Cloud had never felt more alive. He felt strong, powerful for the first time in his life. The day Angeal had winced while blocking one of his strikes was among Cloud’s most treasured memories.
They were not equals, not yet, but becoming a Soldier put them on more even footing and that did wonders for his confidence. Going from friend to boyfriend had been the obvious choice when the others brought it up. He cared deeply for the four Soldiers, but a small part of him had continued to feel like he was not good enough to be with them. Cloud told them he was still getting used to the change and let them coax him along. He was attentive and caring, but rarely sought anything for his own sake.
His promotion to Soldier was something he had earned for himself. He had gladly accepted training and tips from the others, but he had passed the exam on his own merits. No one could argue that he deserved it.
Cloud had been an obvious choice for the mission to Nibelheim. The townspeople reported three Nibel dragons and two packs of Nibel wolves who had finally grown bold or mad enough to attack the town. Cloud had impressed the seriousness of the situation on Sephiroth when the mission first came up. The people of Nibelheim were proud and surprisingly tough. Cloud had been running off Nibel wolves for years before leaving home. He had never faced a dragon, but that was only because they rarely left the mountains. Everyone knew the dangers of being caught unawares by a dragon.
Based on the information Cloud had provided, Sephiroth chose two Seconds and another Third, along with a small squad of Troopers for backup. It had looked like overkill, but Sephiroth said they would do a thorough sweep of the area to ensure that the monsters would not immediately return.
They had not even made it to the town before the transport was attacked. The fight was messy, the mountain roads were covered with loose gravel and some spots were still slick with ice despite being well into spring. Sephiroth had sent the Seconds to handle one dragon and the Thirds to back up the Troopers as they held the wolves off. He charged after the second dragon himself.
It was a good plan. There were enough wolves for the fight to be tricky, especially with the ranged weapons of the Troopers. The other Third, Cooper, was experienced and Cloud had worked for hours with the simulations to train himself to work around gunfire. The Seconds were used to fighting together and had no problems with their dragon. Sephiroth mixed swordplay and magic, easily handling his own.
When the scream of the third dragon split the air, Cooper swore. It came out of nowhere, diving for Sephiroth’s unprotected back. Cloud was much closer and waved Cooper off, “I got it.”
He was the local expert. Cooper did not question his ability to handle it, turning focus back to the Trooper squad and the wolves. Cloud put on a burst of speed and rushed to cover Sephiroth’s back. Cloud could feel the heat of him along his spine and caught a whiff of vanilla and rose from Sephiroth’s hair as it whipped in the breeze.
Cloud caught the dragon’s claws on the flat of his blade, throwing a lightning spell into its face. It roared its fury at the unexpected attack, reeling back onto its hind legs to attack with its fiery breath. Cloud set his feet and readied himself to block the attack. Fire was never pleasant, but he had already learned that it could be endured during lessons with Genesis.
He never expected Sephiroth to throw him aside. Sephiroth’s hands had been harsh against his hips, grabbing with enough force to leave bruises. Cloud hit the ground hard, completely unprepared, rolling twice before he regained his feet. Gravel rubbed the skin of his arms and face raw. A sharp stone cut a deep scratch along his cheekbone.
The first dragon lay dead behind Sephiroth. He had turned to take the third dragon on his own, not even sparing a glance for Cloud. The Seconds were whittling down the one they had been working on, keeping it from turning on Sephiroth. Cloud could not even see the Cooper and the others but the keening whines of the wolves made it pretty clear that they were in no real trouble.
Rage pumped through Cloud’s veins, headier than any adrenaline kick or mako rush. He noticed the faint glow of his skin, dimly aware that he must have reached a limit break. Zack had mentioned that fury made a limit easier to achieve. None of that mattered in the moment, though. He ignored the ice spell concentrated in Sephiroth’s hand and threw himself at the dragon.
Cloud’s blade slid smoothly into the dragon’s chest, cutting through the thick hide like it was no sturdier than the shirt he wore. He leapt into the air, wrenching the blade upward through the dragon’s chest and out the side of its neck. Cloud shifted his grip at the height of his jump and swung his blade down with a blinding force that cut the dragon’s head clean from its body.
His first limit break should have been something to celebrate. Instead it left him drained and shaken. Cloud drew in a shuddering breath and glanced up over his shoulder to where Sephiroth had been standing, wholly unprepared to be fixed with the blank, hollow stare.
The fight ended quickly after that. Sephiroth had left him there without a word, turning instead to begin giving orders. Two of the tires had been damaged during the fight, so a pair of Troopers set to changing them. The Seconds went to Cooper and started healing the Infantry members who had taken injuries. Cloud pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and used water from his canteen to clean away the worst of the blood on his face. The mako was already closing the wound on his cheek and healing the scrapes on his arms and face. He did not even bother with a cure.
Instead he had settled down at the edge of the group of Troopers and waited for orders, watching the tree line, just in case there were any wolves waiting to attack. He felt Cooper sit beside him, but did not bother to look at him. He was not interested in company.
“That your first limit, kid?” Cooper asked. Cloud nodded, but did not say anything more, “It’s got potential. Get a stronger blade and it could do some serious damage… not that decapitating a Nibel dragon is anything to be ashamed of.”
Cloud nodded again. Instead of being put off by Cloud’s mood, Cooper reached out and grasped his chin, turning the blond’s head to inspect the cut on his cheek, “You ought to cure that. We’re only Thirds… it’ll probably scar.”
“So what?” Cloud muttered, glowering at the dirt beneath his feet, “I’m a Soldier. I should have some scars. Might be a good reminder for some people that I’m not breakable.”
Cooper snorted, “Is that what’s got your nose so out of joint? The General’s not good at being startled, especially in a battle situation. You’ll learn that about him as you go on more missions. Just give him a couple minutes to cool off and he’ll probably come apologize for tossing you like that. Lazard might be the leader of Soldier, but Sephiroth is the one we follow. There’s a reason for that, you know.”
Cloud wanted to say something, to point out that he knew Sephiroth’s quirks better than most people, but he knew better. His relationship with the others was not exactly a secret, but they were all private people. Few people knew there was more than friendship between the General and his Commanders. No one knew that Cloud was anything more than Commander Fair’s friend.
They passed a few minutes in silence as the others worked and talked around them. Eventually the pair of Seconds settled down on Cooper’s other side to wait. They had all been on missions together before and made small talk about mutual acquaintances they had. Cloud listened without really hearing what they were talking about, his mind too troubled to follow the conversation.
He stiffened in shock when Sephiroth’s tall black boots stepped into his field of vision, “Strife. A word?”
Cloud ignored the way Cooper nudged him knowingly and climbed to his feet. His legs felt far more steady under him than they had following the fight. Sephiroth led him toward the trees where they could have some relative privacy. He refused to meet Sephiroth’s eyes, unable to deal with seeing that unfeeling expression on his face again.
When they were outside of the camp’s hearing, Sephiroth spoke at last, “That was reckless and unnecessary.”
This was not an apology. It was a reprimand. Cloud felt the anger stir in his chest again. He set his jaw stubbornly and said, “I don’t think so.”
Cloud could hear Sephiroth’s steps falter slightly in surprise. He flexed his fingers to keep from clenching them and added, “Sorry. I don’t think so, sir.”
“You jumped in front of a dragon-” Sephiroth started, but Cloud cut off his words.
“If it had been anyone else in the group you would have worked around them… worked with them.” Cloud continued through gritted teeth as he fought his temper back. It would cause more trouble than it was worth to get in a screaming match with his superior officer, “I made a calculated move when the third dragon showed up. I know how strong they are. I was also closer than Cooper. It was good strategy. You had no reason to react the way you did.”
“You could have been hurt.” His words were firm and not the least bit apologetic.
Cloud wrapped his arms around himself, eyes fixed firmly on his boots, “I did get hurt and it wasn’t by the dragon.”
The silence that followed was brittle and sharp. It dragged over Cloud’s raw nerves until he wanted to scream or put his fist through a tree.
“When Genesis and Angeal left on that mission to Corel… before they got sick… I asked you how you made it work when Soldier is so dangerous. I wasn’t even dating you guys yet and I was terrified for them. You told me you trusted each other to do everything you could to come home. If one of you dies, it’ll be because there was no other choice. You said that Angeal and Genesis would watch each other’s backs.” Cloud knew what he needed to say, but the thought of it made him queasy, “I tried to watch your back today and you wouldn’t let me… I don’t think you trust me.”
“Cloud…”
Cloud did not let him interrupt. He kept his eyes averted, trying to blink back tears, “If you don’t trust me, this isn’t going to work between us… and if we can’t do this, I’m not going to stay. I’ll put in for a transfer to Junon and tell the others I couldn’t handle being a Soldier and being in a relationship with all of you. We don’t have to say what happened, but I can’t do this again. The way you looked at me-”
Sephiroth was in front of him, hands cupping his chin to force his gaze up. His thumb brushed gently along the edge of the healing cut on Cloud’s cheek. The impassive mask was gone leaving Sephiroth looking weary. He pulled Cloud forward, leaning down until their foreheads rested together, “I am unnaturally strong. I knew the third dragon was there and was prepared to take a strike on the back while I finished the first. My jacket might not have survived, but I have a dozen like it at home. The dragon’s claws would have barely left a mark and would have healed before I turned around.
“When the strike did not come, I assumed that Cooper was covering me. I was not prepared to see you there. The dragon was readying his attack and I saw you brace for it…” Sephiroth drew in a deep breath and let it out, “I know you would have been fine. I know Genesis delighted in trying to roast you alive for nearly a week, just to prepare you for that sort of attack. I feared losing you and in my panic I pushed you aside.”
It was not quite an apology. Cloud knew Sephiroth was still not convinced he made the wrong choice. The dragon’s fire breath would probably have hurt Cloud more than it would have Sephiroth, but that was not the point, “You’re going to need to get over it.”
Sephiroth nodded reluctantly, “I have never allowed myself to take a lover who was less than First Class, even before Genesis and Angeal. This is difficult for me. I would prefer that you not put yourself in harm’s way on my account-“
“Tough.” Cloud muttered stubbornly.
That made Sephiroth’s lips quirk up in a smile, “But I will not stop you again. I’m sorry for my rough handling of you.”
“I have some fairly questionable bruises on my hip that you can kiss better later on.” Cloud said, bumping their foreheads back together playfully, “I’m already practically healed.”
The smile slipped from Sephiroth’s lips again, “You’ll stay?”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Cloud replied, covering Sephiroth’s hands with his own, “You’ve got to remember that I’m not a Trooper any more. I’m not weak. If push comes to shove, I’m going to do my best to protect you, just like you would protect me. ”
“Yes sir.” Sephiroth replied with a teasing smirk.
Cloud felt himself blush under Sephiroth’s hands and tried to duck his head. Sephiroth would not allow it, drawing him into a brief kiss. Cloud let himself melt against Sephiroth, the strain of the battle and their argument going out of him at last.
Sephiroth wrapped his arms around Cloud, “I do trust you. Don’t doubt it for a moment.”
“Good. It makes me feel better to hear you say it… and, hey! We survived our first big fight.” Cloud nuzzled his cheek into Sephiroth’s shoulder, “You okay?”
Sephiroth huffed out a little laugh, “I will be. You?”
Cloud made a little noise of agreement in his throat. There were still things to be discussed, but for now he felt better. Sephiroth let out a small sigh of true regret, “We should return. I promise I will make this up to you later.”
Cloud pulled out of Sephiroth’s arms and started leading the way back toward the truck, “I’ll hold you to that.”
The walk back was far more comfortable than the walk out had been. Cloud was in his element, walking among the trees that he had grown up knowing. The air was cool and crisp, smelling like home. There was not much to see, but Cloud could not wait to show Sephiroth around.
Sephiroth eyed him appreciatively, “I’ve never seen you be so assertive. It suits you.”
“If I was a big push over all the time, you’d all get bored of me.” He leered at Sephiroth with a grin, “You gonna call me sir again if I keep it up?”
“You’ve spent entirely too much time with Genesis.” Sephiroth’s voice was a purr of approval, “Does that sort of thing appeal to you, Third Class Strife?”
Cloud wiggled his eyebrows, “You never know until you try, I guess.”
They both forced themselves to behave as they approached the truck again. Sephiroth arched an eyebrow at his blonde lover, “I will keep that in mind for further discussion later.”
“Sounds good, sir.”