Work Text:
They appeared in the agency's office with the light of an ability and no other fanfare. Atsushi scrambled backward in shock; Kunikida jumped to attention, notebook at the ready; Ranpo didn't even look up.
When the light faded, there were two more figures in the office. They wore long coats, one black and one tan, and casually glanced around their new surroundings. One of them was Akutagawa. The other one...
Atsushi yelped.
Atsushi's eyes widened when they landed on him.
"What...?" murmured the Atsushi that had been at the Armed Detective Agency longer than ten seconds. His shock was due in equal parts to seeing his doppelganger, and seeing Akutagawa both acting calm and wearing a color other than black or white.
His doppelganger, rather than sharing in Atsushi's shock, seemed to be sharing in Akutagawa's calm. The two of them stood slightly angled away from each other, as if covering each other's backs (which didn't help Atsushi's shock). Other-Atsushi looked surprised to see him, but mildly so. Atsushi was only a notion of interest to him, not a world-shattering bombshell.
"Akutagawa!" Kunikida said loudly, drawing their attention. "What are you doing here?"
"Just making a delivery," Akutagawa responded.
Everyone tensed. It was never good when the Port Mafia made a 'delivery'. The things they delivered were threats and the completion of them. They had been maintaining a wary distance from the Port Mafia; there was no reason why Akutagawa should be in their midst upsetting the balance.
"Step away from Atsushi," said Kunikida. He meant Other-Atsushi, obviously, but Atsushi felt a rush of gratitude. It was nice to know that the agency would defend any version of him.
Akutagawa frowned. "I'm fine where I am, thanks."
He was in the middle of enemy territory. Even someone as confident as Akutagawa should have played along until he was going to strike. For some reason, nothing suggested he was about to attack. He was just standing there, like he belonged there. Still, Atsushi's hackles were raised. It was horrifying to see any version of himself so close to his enemy, also just standing there. "Atsushi!" Atsushi hissed. "Uh, Me! Come over here, we'll cover you!"
Other-Atsushi's brow furrowed then smoothed. "I can see we're interrupting something," he said, notably without taking Atsushi's invitation and diving to safety.
"I mean... yeah, a normal day," Atsushi said awkwardly. What was he talking about? The only situation demanding immediate attention was Akutagawa's presence.
Other-Atsushi gave him a strange look. "We'll only be a few minutes, and then you can get back to your attack. I won't interfere."
"Attack...?" Atsushi mumbled.
To his horror, Other-Atsushi elbowed Akutagawa. Atsushi cringed, but nothing happened. "I'm not going to interfere either," said Akutagawa. He didn't sound happy about it. In fact, he leveled a venomous glare at Atsushi. "But get away from my desk."
"Akutagawa," Other-Atsushi said suddenly, before Atsushi could protest that Akutagawa owned no part of the office, least of all Atsushi's own desk.
Akutagawa eyed him. Other-Atsushi was facing a desk in the corner of the office. Paperwork left undone blocked the view of the chair on the other side. To the best of Atsushi's recollection, Dazai was in it behind the piles, possibly napping.
The unlikely duo started stalking toward the desk, and Atsushi's recollection proved correct. Dazai sat up. "Oh?" he yawned. "Oh. Now, that's interesting."
"Spare us," Akutagawa snarled. Atsushi took a tentative step closer; Dazai was probably safer than anyone else against him, but still, Atsushi couldn't be comfortable with them cornering him. Kunikida advanced as well. "You ruined my life."
"Did I?" Dazai propped his elbow on his desk and his chin on his hand, and smiled.
"You certainly ruined my life," Other-Atsushi said. "It took me a while to realize, but everything played out just as you wanted it to, didn't it?"
"Hey," Atsushi felt compelled to protest, "Dazai-san didn't ruin my life. He saved me. Dazai-san wouldn't ruin anyone's life!"
The smile slipped off Dazai's face. "Atsushi-kun," he warned.
Atsushi tilted his head. "What?" He searched Dazai's face and couldn't decipher what he found. Dazai said nothing further. "But you wouldn't."
Dazai looked away.
"You don't know what he would and wouldn't do," Other-Atsushi said darkly. "Even though you work for him. You should get out while you can."
"...No." Atsushi glared at his other self. "I finally made it to a place like this. This is where I belong."
Other-Atsushi scoffed. "Whatever. I'm not here to save you."
Atsushi fell silent at the dismissal, taken aback. Wasn't saving people the only thing that made his life worth anything? Not that he needed saving anymore! But how could any version of himself say something like that so callously?
"No," Akutagawa agreed. "We're here for you." Once again, they focused on Dazai.
"You twisted the world until it was the shape you wanted, then you threw it all away," Other-Atsushi said. "You threw us away."
"And all-" Akutagawa dramatically produced a book- "for this."
Dazai's eyes snapped to the book as it appeared. His eyes went wide as something flickered over his face.
Atsushi craned his neck for a look at the book. It was a hardcover; it was decently dense. He couldn't tell much more than that. He tried to imagine a book that could have such an effect on Dazai. Something powerful out of legends. That would have charged the air with tension, though. Dazai would be signaling Kunikida to be on guard and capture it. But he wasn't doing anything. It was like the rest of the office didn't exist to Dazai anymore. Atsushi caught a glimpse of some vague jacket art and an author's name. For all intents and purposes it appeared to be a normal novel.
Akutagawa waved the book slightly. Dazai's gaze was glued to it. He watched without blinking. Atsushi wasn't entirely sure he was even breathing.
Finally, Dazai's chest shuddered an inhale. "What do you want?"
Other-Atsushi snorted. Dazai didn't take his eyes off the book for a second.
"I want," Akutagawa said, "you to tell me if this was worth it."
Slowly, he extended the book towards Dazai. Dazai reached out for it equally slowly, as if expecting it to be yanked away. Instead the weight of it settled carefully into his hands. He stilled. Akutagawa let go.
Dazai took it like it was the most important business card he'd ever been handed, holding it reverently, examining it fervently (unlike how he treated every actual business card Atsushi had ever seen him take), like he couldn't believe Akutagawa had really given it to him. His finger felt the side of the pages, hooked under the edge of the cover, and hesitated there.
Akutagawa and Other-Atsushi were watching him in some kind of disgusted anticipation, but Akutagawa was especially grim, studying Dazai as if he sickened him. "You're sitting at his desk."
"I-" Atsushi had never seen Dazai look so discomposed.
Kyouka was beside him. Atsushi jumped a little; she had joined him soundlessly. Still, her presence bolstered him. Atsushi had much more faith in her strength than he did in his own.
"You're here too, Kyouka-chan?" Other-Atsushi asked. Atsushi scowled; Other-Atsushi took no notice. "It must be quite some raid for the three of you to be here."
"What do you mean by raid?" Atsushi blurted out. Other-Atsushi had said something about an attack earlier, too.
"Why else would you be here?" Other-Atsushi actually answered.
Atsushi stared at him, then glanced to Kunikida out of the corner of his eye for help. Kunikida just shot a determined look and deliberately stepped back. Atsushi imagined his instructions in his head: You've established communication, just keep him talking. You have a connection. Use it! Maybe Atsushi was making it all up. Kunikida should know that he wasn't great at stalling and negotiations. But it had always worked out in the past: when Atsushi inevitably crashed and burned, everyone else swooped in. Atsushi wasn't alone.
Kyouka said, "I work here."
That got Other-Atsushi to turn away from Dazai entirely. (Dazai hadn't moved.) "You do?" For the first time, he smiled. It blossomed across his face; for the first time, Atsushi applied the saying 'like looking in a mirror' to him. It only made him more uncanny. "Good for you. I'm glad you got out."
Kyouka slipped her hand into Atsushi's. Maybe she was similarly perturbed; maybe especially, given his familiarity with her.
Other-Atsushi noticed. "How do you know me- or each other- if we're not coworkers in this world?"
There was the matter of in this world to address, but honestly? Atsushi assumed someone would get to it eventually. It fit his perception of things so far well enough; it especially explained how weird Akutagawa was acting. (Other-Akutagawa?) "We are coworkers, though?" he said. He didn't mean for it to sound like a question.
Other-Atsushi froze. "You- I work here... too."
"Well, yes," Atsushi said. "Why did you think it would be different?"
Other-Atsushi looked at him like it was a stupid question. Atsushi had probably been making the same face for much of their interaction. "Because I would never work somewhere like the Armed Detective Agency."
"Not to interfere or whatever," Atsushi said, "but you should probably reconsider that." Just because Other-Atsushi wasn't going to save Atsushi from whatever he imagined about Atsushi's life didn't mean Atsushi wouldn't try to save Other-Atsushi. From what, he didn't understand, other than that Dazai had been involved. So it couldn't be that bad. In any case, he was confident in recommending the agency to any version of himself.
Other-Atsushi rolled his eyes. "That's so strange to imagine you and Akutagawa as coworkers in a place like this."
Atsushi almost gagged, caught off guard. He'd been expecting further elaboration of what his other self did, if he wasn't a detective. "Sorry, I thought I just heard you say that Akutagawa worked here."
Other-Atsushi stared him dead in the eyes and said, "Akutagawa works at the Armed Detective Agency."
Atsushi's whole body shuddered as if trying to physically reject it. "...No. He does not."
"I don't?" Akutagawa finally looked away from Dazai, who still hadn't moved. "Why not?"
"...I don't even know where to begin," Atsushi said before realizing he was talking to Akutagawa. He took a deep breath, turned to Other-Atsushi who still felt marginally safer (and probably wasn't, but Atsushi could hope), and attempted to return to the conversation he'd thought they were having. "Actually, you said you don't work for the Armed Detective Agency, right? In, uh, your world?"
His delicate hinting at the world situation paid off with the casual confirmation, "Right."
"Then if you don't work together either, how do you know each other?"
"He's the only one who understands me," Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa said at the same time.
Atsushi waited, but they did not elaborate. "That's nice!" It wasn't. Atsushi hated that. It definitely wasn't true in his world even a little. "Uh, and how do you know Kyouka-chan?"
"We used to work together," Other-Atsushi explained.
Kyouka squeezed Atsushi's hand. Atsushi squeezed back in apology for dragging her past into this; or rather, for taking so long to circle back to her while she just stood by him quietly in support. He checked, "In this world, Kyouka-chan used to work for the Port Mafia."
He was waiting for surprise and backpedaling. What he got was Other-Atsushi nodding.
Atsushi stared. He couldn't imagine ever working for the Port Mafia. "You... why?"
Other-Atsushi jerked his head at Dazai. "I suppose you're going to say you would never work for the Port Mafia, and he wouldn't either? I've got bad news for you."
Bad news was exactly how Atsushi felt about it. He swallowed back a protest on his own behalf; there was no one he had to defend himself against. "I already know about that. It's all in the past." He barreled on, not wanting to discuss it: "Akutagawa's the one who works for the Port Mafia."
"What?" Akutagawa said in disbelief. His tan coat rippled ominously.
Atsushi scowled back at Rashoumon. It was a typical Akutagawa threat. The color of the coat had no bearing on his horrible disposition. "I have no idea what kind of Armed Detective Agency would accept you."
"Don't presume to speak so of my mentor," Akutagawa snapped.
Atsushi bared his teeth, but faltered when he saw Dazai's head whip up. Akutagawa saw the shift in Atsushi's attention and turned to regard Dazai once again, but Dazai had already bent his head back to the unopened book, all but ignoring them.
Out of the two visitors, who was Atsushi supposed to relate to more? Himself, but a version from the Port Mafia? A fellow detective, but Akutagawa?
Slowly, Atsushi turned to Akutagawa. "So. Tell me about your world."
"It can't be that unlike this one," Akutagawa said. "The Armed Detective Agency solves the cases the police can't." He nodded respectfully to Ranpo.
That was... correct. Ranpo nodded back without looking.
It reminded Atsushi to follow Ranpo's lead. If Ranpo wasn't afraid of Akutagawa, Atsushi didn't need to worry about him. The logic was hard to swallow. Doubt clouded Atsushi's brain. What about the actual Port Mafia member, then? Had Ranpo accounted for Other-Atsushi, or had he overlooked him because it was Atsushi? If Other-Atsushi did something and caught them by surprise, that would make it Atsushi's fault.
The door opened. Tanizaki walked in- casually, just coming back to the office after a job. He stopped mid-stride when he saw Akutagawa.
Akutagawa said, "Welcome back."
Tanizaki did the normal thing and didn't reply. He inched over to Atsushi and Kyouka without taking his eyes off Akutagawa. Atsushi couldn't even be mad about Tanizaki using him as a shield. "What's going on?" he hissed.
Akutagawa couldn't have missed the snub. Atsushi saw his eyes flare for a second and his shoulders hunch slightly, but only because he was looking for it. He pretended he hadn't. "Say something if I'm getting this wrong," he directed to the visitors, then turned to Tanizaki, struggling to sum up the situation. "So they're here from another world." He paused and was not contradicted, so he continued. "To, uh, harass Dazai-san?"
Other-Atsushi scoffed. "If that's what you'd call it, it's well-earned."
"Things seem pretty backwards where they come from," Atsushi concluded. When all was said and done, he really didn't know much about what was happening at all.
Tanizaki looked at him, waiting for more. There was no more. "So, uh," Tanizaki said, "how did they get here from this other world?"
Atsushi had no response. Akutagawa said, "He-" he jerked his head at Dazai (he hadn't moved)- "could tell you, but then he'd have to kill you," with great sarcasm.
It was actually kind of a relief that Atsushi didn't have to understand it. As long as Dazai knew what was going on, Atsushi could relax. Sure, Dazai might drag him into grand schemes and use him and complicate everything for reasons no one else could fathom, but what was a little manipulation between friends?
Then Other-Atsushi muttered, "Or maybe he wouldn't."
Atsushi's blood went cold. That... wasn't an affirmation that Dazai wouldn't kill him. It was something else entirely. Atsushi didn't know why, but he knew himself: Other-Atsushi, behind his bristling, was sad.
"Things are different here," Atsushi tried without knowing what he was saying.
"Are they?" Akutagawa said. He took a step towards their little group. Atsushi flinched back, even though this version of Akutagawa registered to him as an annoyance more than a threat; Tanizaki stepped entirely behind Atsushi again. Akutagawa stopped abruptly. He seemed to be gritting his teeth.
It suddenly reminded Atsushi of a scene that had played out minutes previously: when he had regarded Other-Atsushi so close to someone he believed belonged to the Port Mafia. He and Kunikida had tried to separate the two. Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa hadn't seen the problem. Now, to Akutagawa, it appeared that a coworker of his was hanging around members of the Port Mafia. They had declared their allegiances, but just as Atsushi's instincts still warned him against Akutagawa, the blood couldn't be so easily persuaded.
Understanding it didn't help. He wasn't going to fork Tanizaki over to him just to make him feel better.
Kyouka let go of him, and guided Tanizaki away. Atsushi tried not to react to her departure. She was still nearby and surely keeping an eye on things. For now, she could help defuse the situation with some distance. She could clear it in no time if things called for it. "Dazai-san?" Atsushi prompted.
Dazai looked up instead of ignoring him.
Atsushi felt kind of bad about it, but he persisted, "Can you give them what they want? Or... what's going to happen next?" If what happened next was fighting, talking about it so bluntly like this wasn't good strategy, but Atsushi was very, very lost if there was any strategy involved.
Dazai sighed. His hands clenched and unclenched spasmodically around the book he still hadn't opened. "Alright," he said. "I doubt you actually want to stand there and watch me finish this. It's not a book review you're after; you didn't come here for my literary criticism skills."
"There's nothing to criticize," Akutagawa said hotly.
"You've read it?" Dazai asked softly. So much of his demeanor was strangely soft.
Akutagawa nodded. "It's good," he said. Had Atsushi ever heard him praise something so straightforwardly before?
"I think so too," Other-Atsushi added. "He let me read some of it."
Atsushi almost opened his mouth to ask about this author, but before he could, Dazai said, "You got to meet him."
Other-Atsushi tilted his head and said nothing. Atsushi followed his lead.
"And he's writing," Dazai said. "I can guess what I would do for a world like that."
He looked at Other-Atsushi. His hand trailed up to the bandages on his neck, almost unconsciously, almost unnoticeably, almost casually. Almost.
Atsushi looked at Other-Atsushi. His coat covered his throat. It was an edgy look Atsushi hadn't put much thought into. Plenty of ability-users had stupid ideas about fashion. Akutagawa was a prime example, and this version of him apparently consorted with him. Now, though, Atsushi wondered what it was hiding.
Dazai said, "I can't change what happened to you. What I did to you," he amended. "But I can tell you it wasn't your fault."
Other-Atsushi looked back at him. "I figured that out," he said. Atsushi didn't believe him.
"Good for you," Dazai said. "Remember that."
He turned his attention to Akutagawa. After a minute, he said, "No, you're going to have to tell me what I did to you that was so awful. It wasn't the same as here."
Akutagawa's face was blank for a long moment (because Dazai had admitted to wronging him in this world as well?) before he said in a low voice, "You took my sister from me."
Dazai sighed. "Got it." He pulled out his phone, punched in a number, and put it up to his ear. "Akutagawa-kun!" he chirped a second later with false cheer. Of course he had picked up immediately. "How are you? No, this is just a social call. How's your sister? Oh, you're with her? Put her on!"
He hit a few buttons on the side of the phone and held it away from his face. It wasn't on speaker, but Gin's voice blared out from the device, audible to everyone gathered nearby as long as they were quiet. It looked like Akutagawa wasn't even breathing.
They exchanged some niceties. Just enough to prove that they were on speaking terms and no more. Atsushi didn't think Dazai and Gin had ever been close. This had to be strange for her, yet she was humoring it; probably for Akutagawa's sake. This must be even stranger for him, to finally have Dazai call him. He had to be waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the ulterior motive to reveal itself; he would have to keep waiting, because he wouldn't recognize getting to talk to Gin as all the favor Dazai needed.
Leading, Dazai said, "It's so nice that you get to spend time as a family. You should treasure that."
"We see each other enough at work," crackled the voice over the phone. "Almost every day."
"I see you more than that," Gin dismissed.
It was dull conversation, but Akutagawa was rapt. His gaze bored into Dazai holding the phone as if daring him to snap it shut. He didn't, leaning back in his chair. "And how are you finding work these days?" he asked. "I'm not fishing for intel! Just checking in."
"It's fine," Akutagawa said. Atsushi couldn't blame him for being speechless. He knew he didn't have all the details of what had happened between them, but Dazai's attention had never been lavished freely upon Akutagawa. This had to be surreal for him. It was plenty surreal for Atsushi, who had the benefit of context.
"We got to work together on an assassination the other day," Gin offered. "Nothing worthy of your organization's interest, I'm sure."
"Rashoumon ate well," Akutagawa recalled smugly. "We painted that office with blood. We could hear the screams from halfway down the block when someone opened the door and found our message."
That was typical of Akutagawa. Atsushi snuck a look at his face in search of some kind of resonance between the two and instead found him looking away from Dazai and the phone his own voice emanated from. He was eyeing Other-Atsushi. Other-Atsushi was eyeing him back with the same trepidation.
Other-Atsushi abruptly broke the strange standoff. Loudly so the phone would pick it up, he said, "What's the worst thing he ever did to you?"
"Weretiger?" Akutagawa questioned. Atsushi buried his head in his hands. Other-Atsushi stealing his identity must have seemed clever and trivial to him, but Atsushi would have to live with the consequences. Akutagawa was always frenzied by any reminder of how close Atsushi got to be to Dazai. Out of a healthy desire to continue living, Atsushi preferred to avoid antagonizing him on a day-to-day basis and save it for when he needed to manipulate him. He didn't want Akutagawa's ire in the meantime.
Akutagawa answered, "He left," and disconnected the call.
In the ringing silence, Akutagawa (Other-Akutagawa) said, "He sounded like you," to Other-Atsushi.
"Hey," Atsushi said, deeply affronted.
Other-Atsushi didn't deny it though. He didn't protest that his hands were clean. He didn't insist that the tiger could never match the bloodthirstiness of Rashoumon. He turned to Dazai. "You mentored him," he said. It wasn't a question.
Dazai dipped his head in acquiescence.
Akutagawa shuddered. "I begin to think I dodged a bullet, in my world."
Atsushi drew in breath to speak up for Dazai, then made himself stop. He didn't know enough. Strangely, Other-Atsushi mirrored him.
Other-Atsushi was in the Port Mafia, and it sounded like in his world, Dazai never left. They had known each other. Dazai could have taught him there, too. Atsushi wanted to take solace in the idea that he would have Dazai in every world, but as distasteful as he found them, he had to consider Other-Atsushi's feelings. Other-Atsushi hadn't been happy to see Atsushi in Dazai's company upon arriving in their world; yet despite what he said, he seemed to have the same instincts to defend Dazai.
Just as Akutagawa was perturbed by his counterpart and Atsushi recoiled from Other-Atsushi, Other-Atsushi probably reciprocated Atsushi's feelings. Atsushi didn't know how he felt about that.
Like it was an idea he was testing, Akutagawa said, "Gin's safe here."
Dazai made a sound. It might have been a bitter laugh. "Does that make you feel better?"
"Does it make you?" Akutagawa shot back.
Dazai stopped laughing as abruptly as he had started.
Other-Atsushi reminded him, "That's the question. That's what you have to answer."
"You had to ask an easy one," Dazai murmured.
Atsushi watched his own eyes narrow in disgust. "You're still running away."
Dazai had let go of the book when he took out his phone. One hand still rested on it, shaking.
"Go ahead," Akutagawa dared. "Open it."
"It won't change my answer, you know," Dazai said. "Atsushi-kun."
"Yes?" Atsushi and Other-Atsushi said at the same time.
"I'm sorry I taught you to kill."
That made it clear who he was addressing. Other-Atsushi scoffed. "Whoever heard of a Mafia man who didn't kill?"
"No, I suppose you wouldn't have," Dazai said, seemingly to himself. "I shut off that possibility."
"Did you?" Atsushi asked. Everyone looked at him; he faltered. "I mean- it wasn't you." This Other-Dazai was only hypothetical to Atsushi, but the gulf between himself and Other-Atsushi yawned wider with every passing minute Atsushi spent in his presence. He could apply the same disconnect to Dazai and his other self.
"Thank you, Atsushi-kun," Dazai said after a moment. "But someone has to take responsibility."
Atsushi faltered. It sounded so unlike Dazai; Atsushi had never known him to take responsibility for anything. If he did, he did so secretly, and made outlandish claims after the fact so that no one could take him seriously. "Um, are you dying?" he had to ask.
That perked Dazai up. "Aww, Atsushi-kun! Such a sweet thought!"
Kunikida groaned; Atsushi relaxed at the return to normalcy.
"Going to find another building to jump off of?" Other-Atsushi said snidely.
Atsushi let out a rueful laugh. "I guess he's the same in every world."
But Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa were drawn silent. The press of Akutagawa's lips was furious.
Oh.
"I left," Dazai confessed, even though it hadn't been him, even though there was no way he could have guessed his actions in another world until Akutagawa and Other-Atsushi inserted themselves into their peaceful day, even though it was insane to expect him to guess at all. "I left you alone."
"I don't care about that," Akutagawa lied. Even Atsushi could tell. "The world has been better off without you."
"That's just what I wanted you to think," Dazai murmured. Akutagawa's face twisted further. Dazai had to have known that Akutagawa wouldn't like being told he'd fallen for his machinations; now he was trapped between doubling down, or turning away from his resolution out of spite.
Other-Atsushi said, "Shut up." He was trembling. "That's not what we came here for."
"Isn't it?" The look Dazai leveled at Other-Atsushi was cool, unimpressed. It wasn't the kind of look Atsushi wanted to be on the other end of. "Don't you have anything you want to tell me?"
Other-Atsushi turned away. "I'm done listening to you."
"You don't have to listen, but we've said enough." Dazai shrugged. "Akutagawa-kun, I'm sorry for using your sister against you. That wasn't fair."
Akutagawa sucked in a breath and couldn't look at Dazai anymore.
Atsushi watched them, at a loss. The intruders no longer seemed to have anything they wanted to accomplish. "You're supposed to say something when someone apologizes to you," he said.
Dazai shook his head. "It's okay."
It wasn't. Atsushi was still trying to wrap his head around it. If Dazai actually succeeded in one of his attempts... it was impossible to imagine. He never did, and they had plans for if the impossible came true. If Dazai killed himself, Atsushi would stay glued to his side for days after he recovered.
If it actually stuck and Atsushi had to go to another world to see him... well, he knew exactly what he would do (not up to and including, but starting at going to another world). He had watched himself do it- was currently watching himself do it. No apology would ever be enough.
After they had stood around in silence for a few somber minutes, Atsushi said, "So is that it? How are you leaving?" Because if they wanted to squander the only way they would ever get to see Dazai again, they had made it Atsushi's business. If no one else would push for closure, one way or another, he would.
"It's me," Dazai said. "No Longer Human may seem overly convenient, but the simplest way is best."
"Right," Akutagawa muttered. "That's what we planned on."
They made no move towards Dazai. They could have reached out for him at any point to send themselves home; instead they waited.
Dazai stood up. He walked out from around the desk, leaving behind the piles of paperwork and the book whose mere existence had captivated him. He stopped in front of Akutagawa and Other-Atsushi, and bowed.
"Thank you," he said. "You didn't have to do this- I never imagined you would go so far for me. I'm honored."
All they had to do was bat a finger against a strand of his hair. They could have hit him if they wanted to. They didn't move.
Dazai straightened. He said, "I'm so proud of you," and opened his arms.
Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa ran into them as if they'd been waiting for the invitation this whole time. Atsushi smelled salt; he sniffed and swiped at his cheek before realizing his eyes were dry. Akutagawa grabbed fistfuls of Dazai's coat and Other-Atsushi pressed himself as close as he could without knocking them all over. Dazai drew them both closer, long arms reaching around their backs, extending until his sleeves rode up and exposed the bandages around his wrists. His hands splayed flat between their shoulders.
The light of No Longer Human bloomed bright and slow. For several breaths, it simply grew around them. It looked as if Dazai whispered something into their ears. Then the light faded away, and took Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa with it.
Dazai cleared his throat and returned to his seat. It wasn't quite as if he was pretending nothing had happened; his face was unusually serious, eyes fathomless and fixed on the book on his desk.
Atsushi glanced around the office. Ranpo had stayed unengaged; Kyouka and Tanizaki were keeping their distance and discouraging anyone else from wandering in. He met Kunikida's eyes. Someone had to say something. Kunikida nodded to him, deferring the responsibility.
Atsushi took a deep breath and approached. "Dazai-san? Are you, um, alright?"
Dazai's eyes flickered up to him as if surprised to see him, even though Atsushi had been there the whole time, and normally it was impossible to surprise Dazai. "I'm sorry you had to see that," he said.
"What? I'm not. Why are you apologizing?"
"I'm sorry," Dazai said again, "for what I would do if I had the chance. What I would do to you."
"Just because you did in another world doesn't mean you would here," Atsushi suggested despite his unease. "Or maybe you wouldn't anymore?"
Dazai didn't answer him, and Atsushi had the feeling it was because he didn't like the answer, not that he didn't know it.
"That's enough apologizing," Atsushi forged on. "Maybe that other version of me was owed an apology- from the other version of you, mind you- but you don't have to apologize for things you haven't done. That's not how it works." He didn't want to think too deeply about what Other-Atsushi might have done in the Port Mafia.
Dazai didn't lift his eyes from the book.
Changing the subject, Atsushi said, "Can I read that when you're done with it?"
Dazai's eyes snapped to his.
He added, "I want to know about the author too."
It was true, he did. Still, he suspected it would be quite some time before Dazai was willing to part with his new book.
"Maybe I'll tell you about him someday," Dazai said. It was about all Atsushi could hope for.
He withdrew. Atsushi settled at his desk- not Akutagawa's, thank you very much- and pretended to be busy. He was still watching Dazai. He had a feeling it would be a few days before he felt comfortable looking away. Atsushi never overlooked his suicide attempts, exactly, but there had been a comforting certainty that they would never amount to anything. Atsushi wasn't comfortable turning a blind eye anymore.
So he saw when Dazai finally managed to flip open the cover. He heard his breath hitch.
Somewhere, there was a version of himself that could accuse Dazai of everything Dazai was so ashamed of. Even that version of Atsushi missed even the worst version of Dazai.
It was no wonder. Anyone could understand missing someone enough to search for them all the way into the next world.
When Dazai started crying in earnest- what Other-Atsushi and Akutagawa had wanted so badly- Atsushi said nothing, and didn't avert his eyes. He bore witness.