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He thought he was alone.
That’s why Luke wasn’t ashamed to walk around his house in a cute new skirt he bought. It goes down to his ankles and is a dark blue velvet with black details.
He wasn’t going out, but he had a full face of makeup. His eyes were done in a shimmery blue, similar to the album cover of his second solo album. He didn’t know it until then, but he enjoyed the idea of being in skirts and makeup. It felt…safe, comfortable almost.
Even though he was dressed to the nines, Luke was walking around his house barefoot, doing the most mundane things. He was in the kitchen, making himself something small to eat for lunch, when the front door handle jiggled. Luke pause, his heart stuttering in his chest. He dropped his sandwich back onto the plate and started to speed walk to his bedroom.
He lives alone, but the guys have spare keys to his place. He doesn’t remember seeing any texts from them, saying that they were coming over. But Luke knows that laugh anywhere, and it’s Michael’s. He passes the hallway, but freezes as two arms wrap around his waist and pull him back against a firm body.
“Surprise, babe,” Michael murmurs, giggling as he buries his face in Luke’s neck. The younger male goes completely still, as if hoping the older wouldn’t notice the skirt. “W-Where’s Ash and Cal?” Luke eventually manages to stammer out.
“Probably raiding your kitchen already,” Michael teases. He presses a kiss to the others collarbone before gently moving his hands down to his hips, squeezing them gently. He grins, “The velvet’s a nice touch,” he murmurs against his ear.
Luke tenses, suddenly feeling claustrophobic against Michael. He turns his head slightly, and the older gasps, “Woah…look at your eyes! D’you do them yourself?” he asks, gently cupping Luke’s cheek and making him face him completely. Luke’s hands are trembling, his breath is uneven, and he’s tense. The younger man is terrified, and Michael notices.
“Hey…what’s wrong? Talk to me,” he mumbles, leaning down to press a kiss to the other’s lips. Luke melts into it, but once they pull apart, he’s tense again, “You weren’t— supposed to see this,” he replies, motioning to himself.
“I’m going to change and wash my face. Tell the others that I’ll be out in a minute,” he says, before he turns to leave. Michael follows him, their steps lining up almost perfectly as they walk, “Why? You look so…” he trails off, before shrugging, “beautiful,” he finally says.
Luke shakes his head, “I’m not beautiful,” he murmurs, even though the compliment has him feeling hot and tingly all over. He’s been called handsome, sure, but beautiful is a rarity. “Please, just— forget you saw this,” he pleads as he enters his bedroom, the elder still following.
The younger doesn’t hesitate as he shoves the waistband of the skirt down, stepping out of it and shimmying into some grey sweatpants. The shirt and makeup doesn’t change, as he can write them both off as some photoshoot he did earlier in the day. Content with his look for now, he turns to Michael, “Do I look fine?”
“You look…” he pauses, “good. But I still prefer the skirt.”
“Right. Well. It’s just fabric.”
“If it’s only fabric, why won’t you wear it in front of Ash and Cal?”
That question leaves Luke stumped. He’s right, if it’s “just fabric,” then why won’t he be confident in the skirt? He gulps, throat feeling tight, like he’s boxed in and can’t escape.
“I don’t…feel like a…a man? Not all the time, or at all, actually” he stammers out, the admission sudden and unrelated. He watches as Michael pauses, before a realisation crosses his face. “That’s okay. So…what do you feel like?”
“…Neither. I’m non-binary.”
Michael’s eyes widen, before he steps closer, lifting his hand. His fingertips brush over Luke’s cheek, feeling the soft skin, “I’m proud of you for telling me that,” he mumbles, before leaning in to kiss him. As they pull away, he speaks again, “Should I call you ‘they’ now? What about your name, are you changing it?” he asks, a boyish curiosity in his tone.
Luke smiles, shaking his head as he leans up to press quick little kisses to his lovers lips and cheek, “Just ‘he’ is fine. And no, I’m not changing my name. I’m comfortable in my body and my name and my pronouns, and my mix of masculinity and femininity…I just identify otherwise.”
Michael nods slowly, trying to encode the new information into his memory. He tilts his head, before looking his boyfriend up and down, “So…the skirt is you expressing femininity? Or androgyny?” he asks, stumbling over his words a little. However, Luke just finds it cute, gently pinching Michael’s nose before shrugging.
“Yeah…plus, I wore one in a photoshoot and I liked the feel of it. It’s nice,” he mumbles, embarrassed. A sound from the kitchen derails the conversation, reminding the two men that Ashton and Calum are still out there. “Are you gonna tell them?” Michael asks, placing a hand on his lover’s arm, rubbing it in a comforting motion. There’s another small crash, followed by the sound of Ashton cackling and exclaiming Calum’s name.
Luke sighs slowly, “I guess I have to…” he replies. He takes a step back, glancing at the discarded skirt on the floor, “Should I?” he trails off, question left unfinished but Michael knows what he’s attempting to ask. He nods, “Yes. You look beautiful in a skirt,” the elder replies. He thinks Luke looks amazing no matter what, but seeing his boyfriend in a skirt may kill him; his heart can’t take how fucking beautiful he is in that skirt.
Luke nods, taking the sweatpants off again, stepping into the skirt and pulling it up to his hips. It sits low, exposing his stomach if his shirt lifts when he stretches. Part of him likes that, while the other part of him wonders if he should wear a longer shirt. He’s pulled from his thoughts as Calum exclaims something about the television. With that, Luke exits the bedroom with Michael behind him, walking down the hallway.
As he approaches the living room, his palms go sweaty, so he attempts to dry them on the velvet of his skirt. It helps, but only temporarily. The sight of the living room comes into view; Ashton’s sat on the couch, surrounded by snacks, and Calum’s trying to figure out how to work the television remote. Luke had recently gotten a new television, the two older man had realised when they entered the house.
Luke clears his throat, “Guys?” he calls. As soon as Ashton and Calum look over, their jaws drop. Calum stands from the armchair, walking over as he looks his band mate up and down, “Woah, you look—“ he was about to say “handsome” when Michael suddenly smacks him upside the head, “—good,” he says instead. A light pink dusts over Luke’s cheeks, and he shrugs, “Thanks.”
“D’you just get home from a photoshoot or something?” Ashton asks, a mouthful of potato chips that he probably shouldn’t be eating on his healthy musician diet (but he clearly doesn’t care, always saying to the others “you only live once”). Luke turns to the eldest man, shrugging again, “No, actually. These are mine, my idea, just— fuck,” he pauses, wracking his brain on how to word his thoughts, “I chose to wear this myself, just an everyday outfit,” he finally says.
There’s a silence as the three men appreciate Luke’s outfit and makeup. Then, Michael cups his hips from behind, “Don’t you have something you wanna tell them?” he asks softly. He’s not trying to force him, but rather, give him a little nudge.
“Shit. Ashton, Calum, I’m non binary,” Luke blurts out. It’s as if ripping off a band-aid, he thinks. However, he was not prepared for the big grin on both of the other men’s faces. Ashton jumps up, running over and hugging the younger tightly, “That’s great!” he says, shaking Luke before letting go.
“We always thought you were a little…different,” Calum says, earning a glare from Michael and a smack upside the head from Ashton. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to end up with a bruise on the back of his skull. “What I meant was— you never really seemed to fit the masculine stereotype. You literally said in an interview once that you didn’t feel exactly like a man, just a human.”
Luke laughs, pink on his cheek, “True. But, I just— I didn’t know how you guys would react if I actually knew what I identified as.”
“Mate, we’d love you no matter what,” Ashton murmurs.
“Exactly! We love you, not your gender,” Calum chimes in, despite his comment being (purposefully) cheesy. He smiles smugly as Luke laughs again.
Ashton steps forward again, hugging Luke tightly. Calum steps forward too, joining in on the group hug. Noticing that Michael’s not included, Luke grins, “Mikey! Get in here!” he exclaims. One arm extends, clinging to his boyfriend’s wrist and pulling him into the group hug. They remain like that for a long while, even as Luke begins to feel overwhelmed with emotions. He didn’t realise how loved he was until he had his chosen family holding him, telling him that they didn’t care what he identified as, as long as he’s happy.
A soft whisper escapes his lips, “I love you guys so much…”