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But You’re Drinking up Light, Now You’re Drowning in Sun
Alice - 1 Week Pre-Bella
I was seeing a girl in my head. Had been seeing her. The vision was shifting and fractured, almost headache inducing with how quickly the fragments came and went. There were so many ways the future might unfold. Some paths were violent, some peaceful, all involving the mystery girl, all involving Edward.
I was careful to avoid the thoughts when Edward was near. I couldn't say I was great at it as he still gave me a curious look as he sat down at the piano. I shrugged. "None of this is even useful yet Edward. Don’t worry." I thought the words towards him. He gave me a dubious look but finally began playing the piano.
I huffed and ran up the stairs, sidestepping Rosalie. Shocked by my sudden movement, she let out a surprised puff of air. Without seeing her seconds before in a vision I would have run right into her.
“Sorry.”
“Yeah.” She was looking at me with a strange expression. “Hey, uh, what’s happening?”
“What do you mean?” I cocked my head to the side, studying her. Her hair was cascading in soft curls down to her shoulders, a large cameo pendant around her neck. I don't know anyone that could pull off such large pendants as her. We were at a standoff of sorts, her at the landing of the stairs, me opposite her.
“You are…frazzled, I guess.” She crossed her arms, studying me, “I figured you saw a vision.”
I guess she was right. I was frazzled. My brain was all over the place. I couldn't get my thoughts in order. I'm sure it was giving Edward a headache.
I sighed, shifting my weight, “Yeah. but it’s not complete. All I know is that it’s big. It’s going to change everything.”
“In a good way?” She leaned closer to me, her hair falling forward. Her eyes were intense in their study of mine.
I abruptly turned my head. I could hardly look at her as I admitted, “It remains to be seen.”
Rosalie - 2 Weeks Post-Bella
Emmett was holding me. Not cuddling. He was holding me. Restraining me. It made me want to kick his face in.
“Please, I need to get ready for school.” I struggled against his grasp, but he was so much stronger than me. He was so much stronger than all of us. For the first time since we had been together, it made me feel kind of scared. More than that: helpless. Not to mention, that he didn’t seem to trust me at all. I thought again of kicking his face in.
Alice suddenly appeared at the door. She looked at us. The position might have seemed sexual to those that were less perceptive than Alice. There was not a single part of me that felt anything sexual towards Emmett at this moment.
“Let her go, Emmett.” And he immediately complied. That asshole. I stood as soon as his arms had loosened and crossed the room in a flash. It was our shared room but lacked all the personality I had wanted to decorate with. So many of my things were locked in the closet in a box. He had allowed a few things about cars, which was nice since we both liked them, but the rest he deemed “too girly”. It had sparked a big argument which had resulted in another one of the rooms being designated to be my “study”. I’d never once used it. After a certain point I just let it go, just let the bedroom become a dreary place where sex happened.
I left the room without looking back, adding Emmett to the list of people to be mad at. First Edward, then Bella, and finally Emmett. Though maybe he should be moved to the top of that list. All through this he has been “Edward this” and “Edward that”, even though it’s Edward that got us into this mess in the first place.
Alice followed after me, a pitying look on her face. She was like a lost puppy following on my heels. I could barely stand it, so I turned on her. “Can you not?”
Her lips parted softly, a short breath escaping. As if any of this was shocking to her.
I sighed. “What did you even see, Alice? He had me in a freaking headlock all night. As if I was really going to do anything.”
The reason for this was the visions that Alice had shared with us earlier. Bella: a vampire. Edward: in love. And worst of all, Alice: best friends with Bella. It was like a fucking telenovela.
“Not to Edward, no. But poor Emmett. I mean kicking his head in was pretty extreme, don’t you think?”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile at the words. “Wow I actually did it?”
She smiled wryly, “I was impressed too.” She sighed, pulling me down the stairs and speaking low, “he definitely deserved it.”
“I’m surprised Edward didn’t show up too. You three are practically inseparable recently.” I tried and failed to keep the bitter tone from my voice. It made sense though, they were the technical siblings of the family. The reason I hadn’t taken Cullen as a last name was due to the weird incesty implications. But I liked Hale. I liked that it set me apart from them. Almost as if I could pretend I wasn’t a part of this shitshow.
She paused at the base of the stairs, staring at me with a hurt expression on her face. But she only shook her head and kept pulling me along.
“Uh…Al, not that I don’t love this,” She pulled me right out the front door and onto the front step, but didn’t stop there, “whatever this is,” I grumbled under my breath. “But, where exactly are we going?”
She finally stopped in from of my BMW, gesturing to the passenger seat. I shook my head so quickly I’m convinced I looked insane. “No. No way.”
“Just get in Rose.” And she rounded the car.
“No. Alice. Get away from my baby. No way.” But she was already inside. And get this…the fucker already had my keys. She revved the engine, mouthing to get in. I gave in, getting inside the vehicle. She had a small smile on her face. A smug smile. That bitch.
She was driving fast, and before I knew it we are halfway outside of Forks.
I sighed, turning to Alice with an annoyed expression. I didn’t say anything though. Immature as it was, I loved a good silent treatment. Though in the case of Edward, I usually settled for a constant barrage of insults thought in his direction. It was what I was normally thinking anyway so it was difficult to mask.
After a short drive in tense silence she parked the car on a rubble patch near the tree line. Not that it mattered, she could park in the middle of the goddamn road and no cars would come this way anyway. I turned to her, an expectant look on my face.
She turned to look at me as well, giving me her trademark intense look. I knew Edward was the one that could read minds but from the way Alice looked at you it really seemed like she would be the one with that power.
“I’m sorry for that. I just wanted to get away. Where Edward couldn’t hear us.”
I sighed, my face softening. “Is this far enough?”
She nodded. Then she turned fully in her seat to face me. “Rose…” She sighed, watching me with her intense golden eyes, “it’s going to get worse.”
I thumped back into my seat with a groan, covering my face with my palms. That idiot.
She pulled my arms down, cold fingers on cold forearm. It was a shock, not because her temperature was shocking, but the tenderness and warmth her touch held. Though we were unnaturally cold, somehow her touch was warm. I couldn’t explain it. I looked at her with a puzzled look.
“The future is very stable at this point.” I groaned again, but I didn’t say anything more. What was there to say? Okay, maybe if Edward were the one telling me this I would have a lot to say…but with Alice? In the back of my mind I knew she would eventually become close with this human too, and though that felt like a betrayal too, and maybe even more than Edward’s, or Emmett’s, I didn't seem to care at that moment.
“I think you would like her, Rose.” She was looking off with that goofy smile she sometimes got while looking at a vision. “I will like her at least. And I like you.” She looked back at me. “So what’s the problem?” And listening to her I was almost convinced by her childish argument. I wondered, not for the first time, what the point of this was. The point of all this back and forth. Of my “making it difficult” as everyone (namely Edward and Emmett) keep telling me. Since Alice knew the future, shouldn’t we all just listen to her? Shouldn’t we just leave her in charge? She knew more than me about all of this, she always did.
Suddenly, her head snapped over to me, eyes wide and alert. Her lips parted, breath coming shallow and quick. She was not looking at me, but past me, so I knew she was watching a vision right now. A very shocking one apparently.
I reached over to touch her arm, “Alice? Alice, what is it? What are you seeing? Is it Bella?”
Her eyes came into focus, and she ripped her gaze from mine. “It is not Bella.” She said cryptically, then turned the key and began to make a U-turn.
I watched her with astonishment, but didn’t ask her any more questions. I knew she wouldn’t answer them.
Alice - That same day
I sat in my room on the sage green velvet sofa. I was petting the fibres into the same direction, then reversing the movement. Occasionally, I wrote words into the sofa. Well, one word. Rose.
I tried not to think of the image that seemed to not be able to go away. I tried to push it down. Tried to push away the tightness, the heat, that seemed to climb all over me at the thought.
Rose. Kissing me.
It was not a fragment. It was not wavering. This was a certainty. This was going to happen. I just wasn’t sure when.
Rose, pushing me against the wall.
Rose, kissing me like she needed me to breathe.
Rose…
I stood abruptly, shaking my hands out, as if that could dispel the thoughts that would. Not. Leave. Me. Alone.
I sat back down on the couch, picking up a book I had picked up and put down about a million times. I felt hot all over. I felt breathless and giddy and I felt restless. Rosalie.
Rosalie and her golden hair. Hair that flowed like a waterfall down her back. Hair that I had braided countless times. But suddenly that image took a different context. My fingers in her hair. My fingers in her hair, washing out shampoo, the sudds flowing out of her blonde hair turned a dirty brown from wetness. My fingers brushing her hair out of her eyes. Golden eyes, brown eyes, deep molten black. It was half fantasy, half memory, and it was driving me wild.
I took a deep breath in. God I was losing it. I mean, I knew I was eccentric, but this was a bit much.
It wasn’t that I hadn’t thought of it. Of course I’d thought of it before. She was beautiful. She was probably the most beautiful person I—or anyone else for that matter—had seen. She was more than that though, though Edward would, and had, certainly disagreed with me often on this point. She was intelligent, and kind (when she wanted to be), and she was an amazing friend. But she was also in a committed relationship with a man, who had, admittedly, been acting very shitty recently. I hadn’t even known Rose would be interested in another woman. Not that it mattered, because again, she was IN A RELATIONSHIP.
How was this even an option? It seemed more like a dream, the type I would have back when I was a mortal who could sleep and dream. I mean, I’d had plenty of dreams about women. I’d had plenty of non-dream realities about women. But Rose? That was just…off limits. For many reasons.
I was so glad Edward was out stalking Bella and could not hear—or god forbid, see—what was going on in my head. I needed a plan for when he came home. Even though my brain was convinced this was a set future, it would be an awful thing for him to see. For many reasons.
Problem was, the only one who could even remotely hide her thoughts from omnipresent Edward Cullen was Rosalie. Because of course it was.
Rosalie - 2 Days Later
“I still want to know why you need to know this.” I studied her with hard eyes, “What do you need to hide from Edward so badly? I thought you guys were like besties or whatever.” And again I heard the bitterness in my voice and struggled not to wince at it.
She was avoiding looking at me like it was her job. We were in the woods outside the house. It was late at night, so Edward had gone on his nightly stalker session. The creep. So whatever she needed hidden was hidden at the moment. I’d already told her that this is half the battle; avoidance. And of course that’s been pretty easy with the dumbass gone half the time.
“I know you want to know, but it’s really not that important, Rose. You don’t need to worry about it.”
“Hah.” I stepped closer to the withdrawn woman, placing a hand onto her shoulder, “then why does it need to be hidden so badly from Edward?” I felt a cruel smile engulf my face, “does it have to do with that human? Does she die or something?”
Finally, that caught her attention, her head flew up and her eyes met mine in anger. She stepped closer, “No, Rose. He would never let that happen.”
Suddenly overwhelmed by her closeness and my hand that was still on her shoulder, I took a big step back. Weirdly, I felt very warm. I turned around completely, ready to head inside. “Whatever,” I said, with my back turned to her, “I don’t even know what we are doing here, I’ve taught you everything I know. And eventually you will falter and he will see anyway.”
She sighed, “Yes, I know that, but…the more time I can buy before he…or anyone knows, the better.”
I turned back around to face her, “damn Al, this must be some vision.”
Both her hands were in her hair, twisting the short and spiky strands. It was honestly kind of adorable. She sighed, and dropped them again, grumbling, “you have no idea.”
“Here, Alice,” I pulled her by the elbow over to me, “race me home?” We were deep in the forest, but with our speed, we could get there in under a minute.
She looked over to me, her eyes lingering on where our hand and elbow met.. Again, it was strangely warm. Then her eyes met mine, and she smiled. Her smile was sweet, it always has been. One of the corners of her lips rose higher than the other, adding to her elfish charm. “Okay, fine. Let’s race.”
I looked down at our linked arms, strangely conscious that we were still touching. Then I extracted myself, bolting forward. I could hear Alice behind me, whining about how unfair it was, that I didn’t even count us down. I laughed, heading back, as I got to the house a full 4 seconds before her.
“I win, you lose.” I said as I stuck my tongue out at her.
Alice - A Week Later
Edward had not stopped giving me strange looks for at least the past week. He had yet to say anything though, so I guessed Rosalie’s tactics were working. Rose was right though, he was never home anymore anyway, and avoidance was really the best tactic. It was beginning to annoy me, how much he was away because of this girl. So much so that I began to see a diverging path, one where me and Bella were not friends. I shook off this vision though. I wouldn’t let her suffer for my brother’s stupidity. None of this was her fault.
Rose was very mad today. I’d warned her of this, of course I had, but it still pissed her off to find out exactly all that Edward had told Bella last night. She was practically an expert in Vampires by now. I couldn’t blame her, but I could also see that it was inevitable. On this path, she was bound to find out. Either that, or die.
I was distracted, so I didn’t see the fight before it happened. Rose and Emmett, again. Though it hurt, I let them go at it. There was no chance of violence, no repeat of what happened last time. I sat on a chair in the hall, listening to the fight with a grimace. Emmett was being downright cruel to her.
“I mean, are you stupid Rose? He’s in love!”
“He’s putting all of us at risk.”
“Don’t be an idiot Rose. Alice said this was going to happen. You never listen. Goddammit Rose, I swear you are such a pain. Why can’t you just let him be happy? He deserves to be happy! What does it even matter?”
She was quiet now, “I want us to be safe. I don’t want us to have to leave town. I want to keep being a family Emmett. We also deserve to be happy. Even Bella, she should get a choice. She should be able to stay human. She should not be forced to be a monster like us.”
I felt strange listening in on this, though I had already seen it in a vision beforehand.
He practically barked at her, “a monster? Please Rose, I swear sometimes I…” he stopped there, and I heard a shuffle inside. For a second I thought maybe my visions had failed me, that maybe he was becoming violent. I immediately pushed down the thought. Emmett would never do something like that.
But hadn’t he already done something like that? Hadn’t he already held her in a chokehold, his strong arm held across her neck as she struggled for release.
I flew to the door, practically ripping it open. I had no idea of what was happening inside the room, no vision to base my actions on, yet I still did it. Inside, Emmett was pacing, meanwhile Rosalie was in the closet, on her knees collecting her things. I stepped inside the mess of a room. I hadn’t been here often. Our rooms were very private places, and Emmett and Rosalie’s even more so. Coming inside felt like more of an intrusion than even Edward’s mindreading. The room was fully Emmett, I realized as I looked around. There was nothing, besides a few posters, which had scantily clad women in front of cars, which even nodded to Rosalie being an inhabitant of the space. I knew of the argument, but had thought Rosalie was exaggerating. No, there was no exaggeration. Emmett had totally monopolized the space. I moved to the closet, placing a hand on Rose's shoulder, who was pulling out things at random, tears covered by a sheath of hair. She didn’t look back at me, just kept pulling things out. I leaned over, picking up a bunch of her things, then I pulled her upright. She picked up a couple of boxes, sobs racking her body. Then we both took the boxes out of the room, bringing them to her office.
Emmett let us leave, still muttering under his breath. On our next trip to get her things though, he grabbed Rose and tried to pull her into a hug. She struggled out of his grasp, and he released her. “Please Rose, don’t do this.” He looked broken and pathetic, tears marring his face as well.
I pulled more things out of the closet while she stood in front of him. “No. Emmett. I think…” She paused, a tear falling, “I think we’re done.” I came to stand by her, holding the remainder of her things. She took a few things from me, and then turned to leave.
“Rose, you can’t be serious! This is just a stupid fight, you can’t seriously be breaking up with me!”
She whirled back at him, “It’s not stupid Em. And it’s not just this. It’s you. You’ve changed. You’re acting like a child, and a bully. And you have been for a long time, even before Bella got here.” She sighed, shifting her boxes so that a free hand could reach up and push away a strand of hair. She was no longer crying, instead eerily silent. “I mean, even from the start…I don’t think you ever even saw me. I think all you saw was a pretty face.” With that she left the room completely, leaving Emmett sputtering. I quietly left as well, trying not to meet Emmett’s furious gaze.
We dropped the last of her boxes in the study. Already it felt more like her than that shared room. She fell down onto a couch in the room, an exhausted and sad look on her face. “I can’t believe that actually happened,” she said, her tone sounding…kind of happy? More like relieved. “I’d actually been feeling like doing that for a few years now.”
I turned to gape at her. “You’re joking right?”
“Hah,” Her head tilted to the side as she studied me, “I mean you must have seen us break up dozens of times over the years.”
“I- Yeah, I guess…I mean, yeah. But I never thought you’d actually do it. I never thought you’d do it permanently.” I tilted my head to match her, “This is permanent, right?” But even before she answered I could see that it was. No admitting her mistakes, no apologies, no make-up sex. They had a lot of make-up sex. But not this time.
“Yes. Definitely.” Her eyes searched mine, “unless you see something else?”
I sighed, dropping down onto the couch as well. She was basically laying down, and she looked at peace. “No. No, there is no other option. This is permanent.”
She laughed, and I turned to watch her, weirded out by her sudden calmness, “I’m surprised you didn’t see it coming sooner. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. Or Edward for that matter.”
I fell back onto the couch, covering my face with my hands. “This is a mess.” I grumbled under my breath. I didn’t even think of looking up to see what Rose’s reaction to that was.