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Hermann's gloves were stained, the plastic discolored like the molding walls of an abandoned flat. He didn't much mind; he had started disregarding his previous penchant for order since drifting with a kaiju. Some things, he knew now, were out of his control.
His laboratory was dark; the lights had gone dim long ago and no one wanted to replace them. So he worked in shadows. The blood of the kaiju offered sufficient light to see.
"Hermann." Hermann stilled at the voice, his hand hovering over a vial of DNA.
"Vanessa." He hesitated for a moment. He didn't want to face her. Not on the chance that she could find out what he did. Despite that, he crossed the room and cracked the door open. "I didn't expect to… see you here."
Vanessa's eyes flickered down almost unwillingly to Hermann's hands. Most people's did these days. "I'm worried about you," she admitted. He could tell from her eyes that she was telling the truth.
"Don't be," Hermann said. The words sounded stiff and fake to his ears. But then, most things he told other people sounded that way, now. "Everything is quite all right."
Vanessa, as was her usual way when she was being lied to, looked unconvinced. "You've gone dark, Hermann. No one's heard from you."
Hermann inclined his head. "I attend PPDC meetings. The kaiju are gone; they don't need me to… predict anything."
"Then what are you doing here alone?"
He wasn't alone.
"Research," Hermann said. "Simply… research."
"Research on what?" Vanessa persisted. "The kaiju are gone. You said it yourself."
"There's always more to learn when it comes to kaiju."
"You're starting to sound like Newt."
Hermann froze.
He had tried to avoid it. It had been so long. It felt like years. The air in his laboratory seemed to drop and rise simultaneously, leaving his skin feeling clammy and feverish. He drew in a long breath.
"Perhaps I am," he said finally.
Vanessa sighed. "You need to come back," she said. "This isn't… it isn't healthy for you to be like this."
Hermann glanced away, scoffing slightly. "Perhaps it isn't."
"So you'll come back?"
Hermann hesitated. He knew she was likely correct. He could feel eyes on him, watching him, waiting for him to answer. He couldn't leave. "I can't, Vanessa."
"Why not?" Vanessa pressed. "Hermann, this isn't—"
"I'm fine," Hermann said sharply, cutting her off. "Vanessa. I'm fine. Don't… worry about me. You can… carry on."
He went to close the door, but Vanessa blocked it before the lock could latch. "You're different," she said. "Since the drift."
Hermann watched her blankly. He was. He wouldn't deny it.
"Hermann," Vanessa said. Her voice was quieter now. "Let me in."
Hermann looked at her for a moment more before backing away. He would only delay the inevitable if he stopped her now. Might as well get it all over with. He peeled off his bloodstained gloves, dropping them in the rubbish bin. "No light, I'm afraid. Bulbs have all burned out."
He could see Vanessa blinking, adjusting to the darkness. He knew the moment she saw it.
"What is going on?" she asked, her voice low and hollow. "Hermann, what is this?"
"This," Hermann said simply, "is research."
Vanessa turned to him, her look of shock and fear and anger plain even in the shadows. "This isn't research, this is torture."
"It isn't torture when they're already dead."
"It's madness," Vanessa said, a new edge to her voice. She didn't understand what he was doing.
Hermann walked to where the DNA he had been working with rested on the table. Something had fallen from the rubbish, something long and thin and wet, but he knocked it to the side. "It's progress."
Vanessa followed him; her heels clicked and echoed on the metal floor. "I know things have been different since he's been gone. But it's been three weeks."
"Has it really?" Hermann asked faintly. He turned his head slightly, catching sight of Vanessa in his peripheral vision. "Three weeks…" Only three weeks.
"Hurting people won't bring him back, Hermann." Vanessa's voice was cold.
"You're right," Hermann said. He paused, considering the vial of bright blue kaiju DNA, turning it in his fingers like it was something new and unique. "Hurting people will not bring Newton back." His gaze flicked over to Vanessa's. "I will."