Chapter Text
High heels clicking on dirty tile floors. It was a school day, April 23rd. Darcy made sure to remember the date, just to make sure she doesn’t slip up and accidentally go to the wrong class again. Embarrassing, honestly.
She never treated school as she should’ve, it just felt like a big mall where you couldn’t buy anything in her eyes… aka prison.
This was her junior year of high school, she had a job at a lousy gas station making as much money as a subway turkey sub, and still was single. Her friends chuckled to themselves at the thought, Darcy always thought she was fairly attractive yet could never reel in a pretty guy. Maybe it was just the fact no one liked her aggressive personality, or maybe none of them were just her type?
“Darcy, you’ve got to be kidding me. You still haven’t gotten with anybody? You’ve been trying for two years now! At least I managed to date Charly, and you helped me get him under my thumb! The stubborn lunatic.. he’s still adorable though, ugh.”
It was German 3, Darcy and a friend of hers were just chirping away, talking about nothing.
“Yeah, I really don’t see what you see in that man. He’s so.. ugly, yuck! But I can’t say much can I? Those 6th grade photos still haunt me and my beautiful foundation-smothered face. But actually—Ethan—I’ve seen this one guy…”
“Who?!”
The teacher noticed them talking over him and lectured the two. Darcy growled and went straight back to the conversation.
“Shhh!! Not so loud, man!”
“Sorry.. I was just shocked. I even tried looking out for a man.. or woman.. just your type! I found nothing! How did you end up finding anybody?”
“You look at the shallow ends of the pool, I like to deep dive. I looked in every sickly, greasy corner of this disgusting school and I found a man. He looks like such a doll, I need him…”
Darcy sighs dramatically, Ethan rolls his eyes
“But who?”
“So you know that kid that always gets left out of team activities in our theatre elective? The nerdy guy?”
“Oooh… no wait I don’t. Can you give me more detail?”
“Green curly hair, braces, tons of pimples, and huge circular glasses.”
“Ah.. wait.. I think I know who you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, I bumped into him by accident in the hallways and knocked his messenger bag onto the floor. I felt so ashamed so I picked it up and returned it to him. Then, he said ‘Thanks’ and stumbled away. He said it in this voice.. this cowardly, stuttering voice. God, I had to rush to the bathroom just to fix my face so I didn’t look like I just saw heaven.”
“I’ve seen him once, probably. He is not that pretty, I can assure you. You can find someone better!”
“No. He’s the one! I swear! That dumbass loser is the one!”
“Okay, fine. If you say so.”
Ethan looks surprisingly unimpressed, crossing his arms in disappointment. As if Charly was any better of a choice!
“…Ugh I can’t be seen around that pathetic wet mop though.”
“It’s really not that serious, Darcy.”
“Yes it is! I have a reputation to uphold in this school, I run this shitstain of a building! If any of my loyal followers find me near a hunk o’ junk like him, it’s over for me and my beautiful social life.”
“Don’t you think you’re being overdramatic?”
“Don’t you think you should shut your big mouth hole?!?”
“.”
“Jeez sorry… I didn’t mean that.”
“It’s alright, I forgive ya! But… damn.”
Silence passes and the two are given some work to do silently. Ethan decides to break the ice.
“Are you gonna do any of that?”
“Absolutely not, stress lines make me look old.”
Ethan sighs and relaxes in his chair, crossing his arms.
“I’m surprised you don’t wanna use that guy for his money.. if he has any.”
“I know I’m rude but I’m not that rude, sheesh.”
“Sorry to.. assume that of you.”
…
“Hey, do you ever think that guy like.. maybe has a crush on me?”
“Why do you ask that?”
“Totally not like I want the feeling to be mutual so if I, perchance, ever ever ask him if we can be together.. he says yes…”
“You’re thinking about this too much, why don’t you chill out?”
Darcy tries to relax, letting the thought of her crush escape her mind, but it doesn’t work.
Finally class ends, the students flood out the door and into the hallway. Darcy keeps an eye out in case she finds that guy, she can’t even remember his name. Did she ever catch his name?
She ran into the bathroom to mess with her fake lashes and eyeliner. Hoping he won’t find her in shambles, smeared makeup and messy lipstick. Darcy, why do you bother? You’re only 16, you can always find someone else. Life is never-ending for you, you’re an immortal creature with malleable organs and flesh.
A few steps closer to the next classroom and she finds him, speed-walking anxiously.
Now’s my chance! Darcy shouts in her brain, attempting to run in her heels. The guy notices her and stops, jumping in shock.
“Hey…! Sorry I know you’re like… so busy. I like that comic hanging out of your bag! Is that Spider-Man? X-Men? Y’know it’s hard to tell at this angle…”
The boy’s eyes glowed
“You know DC comics? I love DC comics so much! Of course… I love lizards and geckos way more… oh! I’m getting ahead of myself.. Uhmm..”
He starts mumbling and tugging on the strap of his bag, looking down. Darcy notices a few glances thrown at her by randos in the hall, and begins to get snappy. She rolls her eyes impatiently.
“Ugh! Would you get on with it already, dweeb? I just wanted to say hey and catch your name since I recall us bumping into each other. I didn’t ask for this like… super boring spiel about your crazy obsessions that no one gives a flying fuck about!”
Darcy places her hands on her hips and gives the poor nerd a nasty look, he starts sweating and getting even more shaky.
“My name… is Jo… Sorry, I need to go now.”
He rushes past Darcy, making light pathetic whimper noises. Darcy scoffs and struts away in the opposite direction. She’s not going to bother to try and talk to him anymore… right?
The people glancing at her walked up to her.
“Damn, Darcy! What did that poor boy do to you?”
“Ugh, he was just getting on my nerves. Pathetic useless boys like him aren’t even worth my precious time.”
“You didn’t have to be like that, though… sheesh. But you’re the queen, you know what’s best!”
The two walk away, leaving Darcy to realize what she just did. She had the whole rest of the school day to let the guilt settle on her shoulders.
“Am I really the queen? Am I the one that will make my mark on this sad earth? What does it matter if I hurt everyone I love, just for fame? I’m so, so terrible. He probably wants nothing to do with me anymore. I hurt a boy I barely knew, and I wanted to know.
I love him, I really do. I’m not just a materialistic, snobby, egotistical bitch. I really love Jo. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in this school, he doesn’t even deserve me. I don’t deserve him. He’s… he’s too good for this world. But, I must have him. I need him to be mine, in order for my life to finally be complete.”
Darcy wrote and scribbled in her diary, teardrops hitting the pages and smearing her handwriting. She wrote until her hands cramped and shook too much.
“Why do I do this to myself…? I’m perfect, I’m beautiful, I’m better than all of them. Yet… why do I feel so sick?”
She wept until the sleep meds she overdosed on kicked in.