Work Text:
The moment Armin arrived at the haunted house with Eren and Mikasa, he knew that someone had to have been fucking with him.
"So our options are…" Eren studied the Adventure City theme park map, examining each coloured dot it now sported which showed where the names of each of its three haunt mazes were located, "Davey Jones Locker, Attack of the Clowns, and," he turned back to face Armin and Mikasa with a deeply unimpressed expression, "The Seven Terrors of Junior High."
"Wow," Armin grimaced, "Those are all really bad."
The local amusement park did their 'Fright Nights' event every year from just about the beginning of the fall college semester until the first week of November. They hired a few dozen actors to set loose on the grounds, put together three or four haunted houses scattered around, and filled the park streets with enough artificial fog to give even the healthiest person breathing problems. Armin had assumed that since it had been going on for so many years, and they continued to be able to sustain it two whole months out of the year rather than just in October like other places, it had to have been pretty top tier.
He had assumed wrong.
"Fuck!" Eren screamed, jolting back toward Armin and Mikasa as a person in a grisly monster mask snuck up behind him, snarling in his ear before slinking back into the fog again.
Armin hadn't thought they were particularly frightening; he'd seen them coming long before they caught Eren by surprise, and if anything their animalistic shriek had sounded like something out of an 80s or 90s horror flick, but he wasn't going to tell Eren that. He was an alright boyfriend, after all.
"We might as well just start walking and see which one we get to first," suggested Mikasa, "We want to do them all tonight anyways, don't we?"
Eren and Armin exchanged a look, then shrugged.
"Yeah, sounds like a good enough plan to me," Eren agreed.
They had set up the mazes in such a way that people could take a loop around, hit all of them on their way, and make it back to the entrance once they were done. Admittedly, this was a clever design choice, and Armin would give them that. All they had to do was turn in one direction or the other and they would find a haunted house eventually.
Perhaps he was simply being too critical. Connie, Sasha, and Jean had just come here a few weeks ago when it had first opened and they had said it was a great time. Connie and Sasha were ones to have different views than Armin about what exactly constituted as a "great time," but he generally trusted them when it was Jean's opinion added to the mix. First impressions weren't always everything; maybe they were saving the real scares for the actual haunt mazes. Who knew? Certainly not Armin. Maybe he needed to cut them a bit of slack.
As they waited in line to get in to the first of the three houses - 'Davey Jones Locker,' which they should have guessed considering the influx of aquatic themed monsters that had jumped out at them on the way there - Armin decided he would try his best to give them a bit of grace. It couldn't hurt, could it?
"I'm excited," he said as they drew closer and closer to the entrance doors, bouncing a little bit on the balls of his feet in anticipation.
"Me too," Mikasa smiled, "It feels like we've done all the places back home. It's exciting to try a new one."
Armin felt Eren step up close behind him, leaning against his back, "Hopefully it's better than some of the ones back home," he said, bringing his arms around to wrap around Armin's shoulders as they inched forward in line, "Those were kind of lame."
Armin nodded, "Agreed." He didn't have a whole lot of faith that they wouldbe, but he was leaving room for hope.
"Don't worry, 'Min," Eren went on confidently, "If it gets too scary, you can always grab on to me. You too, Mikasa."
Armin suppressed a laugh, exchanging a look with Mikasa that revealed she was doing the same. "Right," he rolled his eyes amusedly, "I'll keep it in mind."
Then it was their turn. The three of them stepped inside and were immediately plunged into pitch blackness. They crept forward slowly, as Armin felt the familiar buzz of anticipation building beneath his skin. Then, the smell.
"Holy shit," Eren gasped, his voice sounding muffled like he was speaking through his hand, "what the hell is that?"
He didn't know what Eren was talking about at first, then it hit him and, judging by the answering gag a half a second later, Mikasa as well. The air was filled with the scent of something heavy and rotten, deeply potent and fishy. Whoever had done the special effects for this maze had somehow managed to perfectly replicate decaying sea life for the sole purpose of adding a level of disgust on top of the fear. Diabolical.
"If we have to smell this all the way through, I'm leaving," Armin insisted, a hand firmly over his mouth as they felt their way through the first room.
And he suspected neither Mikasa or Eren would have stopped him. Luckily, by the time they made it out to the second room, the smell had subsided into something manageable. Whatever they had done, the scent of rotting fish had dulled into the background rather than the forefront of their attention, and for that Armin was grateful. He really thought he might throw up back there.
The next room opened up into a twisted mimicry of what looked like possibly a beach-side shop. Shelves were mangled and covered in fleshy-looking masses that could have been seaweed, but were likely something far worse, and the use of misters above their heads made the air feel damp and heavy. On the speakers, Armin could hear Bobby Darin’s ‘Somewhere Beyond the Sea,’ but the audio had become so warped it sounded like someone was strangling Mr. Darin in the recording booth. It sent a shiver down his spine and he found himself inching ever so slightly closer to Eren and Mikasa ahead of him.
'AAH!'
All three of them jolted backward in unison as a monster with long, black tentacles coming from its face lunged at them from behind one of the sacks of boxes in one corner of the room. It shrieked right up in their faces, whirling around them -and Armin would have to give the actor credit, because they moved in a truly inhuman way- before hunching down on themself.
Then it began to chase them.
Armin knew it was fake, knew it couldn’t hurt them, but he screamed and shoved at Mikasa and Eren anyway. It was pure, terror-induced instinct. “Run!”
Armin didn’t process any of the narrow hallways they passed through to get away from the tentacled monster. He gripped Eren’s hand ahead of him, and Eren clung to the back of Mikasa’s scarf in one long train as they fled through clammy corridors and themed rooms that probably held monsters of their own, but they were too terrified to stay and find out.
At last, they seemed to have escaped, and as they all slowed to a stop, the ridiculousness of it all caught up to Armin, causing a laugh to bubble up from his throat.
“Oh, man,” he gasped, trying to catch his breath, “we’re losers!”
The made their way slowly through a crowded hall lined with barnacles, catching their breath still from running.
"You're losers," Eren corrected, slinging an arm around Armin's shoulders as they walked, "I was just running to keep up."
"Right," Armin nodded slowly. That was utter bullshit, he knew, but he figured he'd let him have his tough guy moment just this once. He was sure he would get plenty of other opportunities to mess with him later.
The hallway opened up into a large room, and as they stepped inside, Armin and Mikasa both gasped in unison. They had set up green strobe lights so that they were shining in one flat plane about waist height that, combined with the eerie fog they had going which mixed with the light to look like a solid surface, gave off the illusion that the three of them were now treading through murky water. Armin couldn't see the floor beneath his feet, but every once in a while he caught a glimpse of one of the actors in their monster costumes poking out just barely from the top of the fake water, and knew that there were plenty more hiding beneath the illusion.
"This is fucking terrifying," he heard Eren mutter beside him as they navigated through the different set pieces and props around the room.
Armin nodded in agreement. He was suppressing the urge to carefully shuffle forward, even though he knew realistically that there was nothing to be afraid of. He had to admit, the people of the Adventure City Fright Nights had pulled through, despite his previous misgivings.
They made it out of that room and through the rest of the maze with relative ease. A few good jump scares got them here and there, though, despite the big talk Eren put on about letting Armin and Mikasa hold on to him if they got scared, it was Eren who fell victim to most of it. Armin tried not to laugh, but it was funny. And what was the purpose of being Eren Jeager's boyfriend if he couldn't laugh at him when he had to eat his words?
By the time they at last escaped the first of the three mazes, leaving the smell of decayed sea life most certainly burned into their nose forever, the poor guy looked like he was valiantly trying to hide the fact that his nerves were shot.
Armin was talking with Mikasa, exchanging thoughts about the special effects and the storytelling of the maze (which they both agreed to have been better than expected, but still solidly average), before stopping and glancing back at Eren behind them. Armin turned and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey-"
Eren jolted at the touch, the realised who it was and let out a long breath, clearly trying to scramble for composure, "Oh, hey. Sup?"
Armin laughed but chose not to comment on his behavior, "You good?" He asked instead.
Eren nodded, "'Course. Why wouldn't I be? That haunted house was a breeze. Barely scary at all."
"Uh huh," Armin raised an eyebrow as they started walking again, "You weren't scared?"
"Nah."
It was then that Mikasa’s hand shot out to smack the back of Eren’s head. “Don’t lie,” she interjected, falling into step beside him, “You were just as freaked out by it all as we were. I saw.”
Eren grumbled, rubbing where she had smacked him,“Mikasa! You’re supposed to be on my side!”
But Mikasa was utterly unbothered - and right, if Armin might add. He couldn’t help but laugh as Eren continued to try and fish for an apology he would not get until they had already reached the next of the three scare mazes, ‘Attack of the Clowns.’
He didn’t know if that was a Star Wars reference, but it seemed perhaps not, seeing as the maze appeared to be more circus themed than space war. He figured that was probably a good thing. He doubted he would be able to take it seriously if he had to see circus clowns with laser blasters screaming about Jedi knights and the new republic.
"Mikasa and I are going to go in," Armin said, already following his friend in the direction of the line, "You coming with, Eren?"
Something odd flashed across Eren's face, and for a moment Armin wondered if he really had misread whether he was actually scared or not. He seemed genuinely shocked that Armin would even ask.
"I mean, yeah. Obviously," he replied, falling into step beside Armin, "Not letting you guys have all the fun without me."
The maze ended up being about as corny as Armin had guessed it would be. Budget had clearly been lost between this one and the last because the special effects were nigh on dismal and he wasn't sure it was even possible to be scared by any of the actors when half the rooms were so brightly lit you could see anything.
Unless you were Eren, that is, who once again seemed to find alarm in every little bump and noise that they ran into, despite his constant insistence that he had "nerves of steel." Armin felt his boyfriend's hand jolt in his own each time a monster popped out at him, and every time Eren asked, 'Are you sure you don't want to hold on to me?' or something to that effect, he knew the monsters in the dark were doing their job. He thought the actors portraying said monsters would have been very pleased to hear that.
A masked clown with a chain saw did them in in the end. It wasn't even a real one, it was one of those fake prop ones that only made noise and had no blades, but it sent all three of them tearing out of the maze as fast as they possibly could. Armin suspected Mikasa only ran for their benefit, since those loud scares did not usually have as much of an effect on her, but he appreciated it all the same. There was a certain camaraderie that came with running for your life with your best friends, even if you were doing so at a shitty haunted house where you were guaranteed to make it out safe whether you ran or not.
They stopped by one of the nearby planters and Armin threw himself on the edge of it, using the wide rim as bench as he caught his breath. He was once agains grateful that he'd actually remembered to take his asthma medication before they had left instead of after. An asthma attack at almost midnight would have sucked, and he was doing a lot more running and screaming than he had thought.
"So," Mikasa said after a moment, checking her phone before tucking it back away in her bag, "One more. It's a quarter after 11, so we have time. Then we can still make it to grab funnel cake afterward, Armin."
Fuck yeah. What Adventure City lacked in thrill, it made up for with their absolutely killer funnel cake recipe. The stuff was absolutely huge and certainly horrible for you, but at the end of the day Armin was a sucker for fried cake with a shit ton of jam and whipped cream on it, so he would be purchasing and consuming a plate of it before the night was up, thanks.
But first, the final gauntlet. The last of the three mazes was not far, and it seemed they had nearly done a full loop of the park, because as they waited in the line, Armin could see the lights of the entrance from where they were standing. At the sight of their pathway home, all the exhaustion from the evening thus far slammed into Armin at once. He slumped against Eren with his arms around his waist and let out a long sigh.
"Looks like I'm gonna be hanging on to you during the maze after all," he yawned, "I'm tired."
When all he received was a noncommittal grunt in reply, Armin tilted his heat up and eyed Eren curiously. He didn't know a time Eren Jeager, of all people, would pass up the opportunity to rub it in his and Mikasa's faces how cool and unbothered he was about such things as haunted houses. So, he had expected some sort of actual reply instead of the half-assed noise he got.
He saw Eren staring forward at the entrance sign to the maze like it might disappear if he looked away. He was tense too, more so that Armin had noticed before. Something was up.
"Yo," Armin poked at Eren's side to try and get his attention, "You good?"
"Fine," was the terse reply.
Armin raised a dubious eyebrow and looked over at Mikasa, who seemed equally unconvinced of his fine-ness. They shuffled forward in the line a few more feet and, if anything, Eren got more tense where he stood.
Ah. Of course.
"Eren," Mikasa narrowed her eyes. Just his name, nothing more. It was usually enough to get Eren to confess all his darkest secrets, but this time he was staunchly avoiding her gaze.
Armin tried to sound encouraging as he spoke, "You don't have to go with us. Mikasa and I can just go do this last one of you're scared."
Eren made a 'psh' noise behind his teeth, "Please, this shitty ass haunted house? I'm not scared."
He was lying. He wasn't looking at Armin or Mikasa which meant he was lying, and the fact the Eren was too obtuse to realise how obvious he was being was mind boggling. Fine then. He'd have to try and get a confession out of him another way.
"If you say so," Armin shrugged. Then he tilted his head, "Mikasa, have I ever told you about how sexy I think it is when people are in tune with their emotions?"
Mikasa stared at him like he was a little crazy, but bless her she went along with the bit anyway. "No?" She replied.
Armin nodded earnestly, "It's true. Especially in men. A man who can admit he's wrong-"
He felt Eren's gaze on him, sharp and insistent, but he was not to be thwarted so easily.
"-especially when they're not fooling anyone."
"Okay maybe I'm a little freaked out!" Eren relented at last, "Hell, Armin, happy now? It's creepy as shit in there."
Armin grinned up at him, flooded with a deep sense of satisfaction and a complete lack of remorse, and shrugged, "I'll take it."
Mikasa put a hand on Eren's shoulder, "It's okay to be scared. That is the whole point of these after all."
Eren rolled his eyes, but he didn't push her hand away, "Whatever," he said, "I'm gonna go sit over there. You guy don't…get eaten or anything."
"We won't!"
They didn't. In fact, Armin and Mikasa both had to admit this was probably the best of the three mazes, despite its shitty ass name. The "Seven Terrors of Junior High" apparently, among other things, included a ghostly Beethoven playing his eternal symphony (which was more haunting than frightening, but Armin liked it), a particularly creepy infinity mirror, and a…headless basketball player which was certainly a creative choice that Armin did not get, but oh well. It wasn't the most terrifying, and it certainly wouldn't haunt his dreams any time soon, but it was fun in a sort of "bad horror flick" way. It was sort of endearing, honestly.
The two of them were laughing at themselves by the end of it, because despite the fact that it clearly was not intense enough to warrant actual fear, they found themselves both getting scared out of their wits at sections throughout anyway.
Eren, it seemed, had only had a marginally more enjoyable time. He had found himself a spot on a bench and taken up some good old-fashioned people watching, which was always a good time. At the very least he didn't look as tense or out of it as he had before Armin and Mikasa went in. If anything he looked pretty chill.
"Miss us?" Armin asked as he and Mikasa sat themselves down on either side of him.
Eren huffed a laugh, "You wish." He leaned back to throw an arm around each of their shoulders, "You guys missed out. Right after you went in, this zombie monster came and harassed me for like five minutes."
"And you didn't piss yourself," Armin grinned.
Mikasa's lips ticked up in a smile as she leaned to knock Eren's shoulder, "Proud of you."
Eren immediately shoved Armin and Mikasa off of them and stood, "Alright, we're done here."
"No wait!"
It didn't exactly help either of their cases that both Mikasa and Armin were still laughing as they trailed after Eren. Armin lagged behind, fully content to let Mikasa vouch to get them both back Eren's favour. He knew he wasn't really upset, and he could always pull some of his newly acquired boyfriend moves later if Mikasa failed work (though he knew she wouldn't).
As they headed in the direction of the snack stand for their funnel cake to end the night, Armin was not entirely surprised, but a bit shocked nonetheless, to feel something warm and comforting settle is his chest. This had been fun. When they had first made it to the amusement park, he really thought it would not be. He had been so certain it would be underwhelming at best, and a waste of a good thirty dollars for each of them at worst. But it hadn't, and as Armin watched Mikasa loudly berate Eren for not taking a joke as passersby tried not to draw attention to the fact that they were listening in, he actually thought that maybe they weren't as fucked as he had thought when they arrived. Maybe, Armin realised with only mild shock, this had been worth their time after all.
"Armin! We're gonna get stuck in line!"
"Coming!"
Armin decided he would have to thank Connie, Sasha, and Jean later, before hurrying after Eren and Mikasa.