Archive of Our Own

Eddie Munson knew he was not going to college, and he was fine with that. He grew up hearing from Al how stupid he was, how poor, how college wasn't a place for a boy like Eddie and he believed it. He resigned himself to fixing cars or working in the plant with Wayne. He liked working with his hands, it was fine with him, really. He knew his dreams were too pie in the sky.

And then freshman year he moved in with Wayne. The state finally decided Al was unfit to parent him, and he arrived to his Uncle's with a shorn head and spitting like a cat at any lick of affection that the man tried to give him. Wayne was very unlike Al. He gave Eddie space and freedom, but not because he didn't care, like Al, but because he wanted Eddie to feel safe.

He never did his work, stayed up late playing guitar or video games or writing. He got held back that year because he ran with the autonomy Wayne gave him. It hurt him and he lashed out at everyone involved for failing him until Wayne sat him down, still the kicking and spitting kid he arrived as 9 months later.

"What do you want to do with your life, Eddie?" He asked without exasperation, just asked it like it was a genuine question and not like it was meant to condescend like people at school.

"I don't know, probably fix cars. 's all I'm good at," Eddie huffed, crossing his arms, but unable to meet Wayne's sincere gaze.

"Now, Ed, you know that's not true. I've seen your doodles, I've heard your guitar. You can do other stuff than what your daddy led you to believe. In a dream world, what do you wanna do?"

The question was kind. And Wayne was right, Eddie did have other talents than just fixing cars, he just never thought anything else was possible. He took a long moment to think, weighing all the things he liked and liked to do. What he would be interested in doing and what would bring him satisfaction in his life. He thought about all the toys that he saw advertised on TV that he could never have, how happy the toys he did get made him, how they made him the person he was with is figurines for D&D and how he loved to play pretend and how they unlocked his creativity, let him sink into other worlds when his was absolute shit.

"Is there a job where I can make toys?" Eddie asked, looking his Uncle in the eye for the first time.

Wayne laughed, not unkindly, just out of surprise. "What, like Santa's elves?"

Eddie cracked a small smile and shook his head. "No, like designing them. Figuring out what kids want, making that idea come to life."

Wayne thought for a moment. "Well, people have to be making Barbies and GI Joes, so I don't see why it can't be you."

After that, Eddie and Wayne were a team, getting him caught up on his schoolwork, looking at pathways Eddie could take to be a toy designer. Wayne put every penny he could aside and Eddie worked at a car shop on evenings and weekends.

Winter of senior year, Eddie decided where he wanted to go. A school in Ohio that wasn't far and had an excellent industrial design program that was also too expensive for the nest egg that he and Wayne set up.

Wayne told him to accept and apply for every scholarship he could. He found a full ride scholarship that was for out of state students, those who couldn't afford college otherwise and getting some sort of art degree. Eddie hit the jackpot and wrote an essay to the strange prompt they wanted: "What does marriage mean to you?"

He wrote the essay without a second thought, submitted the application, crossed his fingers and then applied to the next one.

The little downtime Eddie allowed himself was spent playing with his band or with Steve Harrington. Theirs was an interesting friendship; friends in childhood before Al moved away and then tentatively pushed back together by a science project, Steve was one of the best friends that Eddie had.

Steve was wishy-washy about college, unsure of what he wanted to do. It was Eddie that sat him down and had the same talk with Steve as Wayne did with him. Steve, who was everyone's babysitter, seemed to be most at home with a baby on his hip, who had eyes in the back of his head, landed on elementary education. Eddie was overjoyed that Steve chose the same college as him and they cheered for each other as they walked across that stage for graduation.

Eddie received a letter congratulating him on receipt of his scholarship. He applied for so many he had no idea which one it was and he stopped reading after the 'congratulations'.

He and Steve celebrated graduation and moving on to the next phase in their lives by getting high. It was then, high out of their minds that Eddie read the fine print on his scholarship.

The Brude scholarship provides young married people in the arts who wouldn't be able to otherwise receive a college education. Please provide copy of marriage certificate and make an appointment with Martin Brude for full scholarship acceptance. Congratulations!

Eddie felt his heart sink into his stomach. He accepted a scholarship where he had to be married? What the hell kind of scholarship was it?

Then he started to panic. His dream was almost realized and now it was stopped short by his lack of jewelry on his ring finger? There was no way he would be able to attend without the money, but he couldn't find someone to marry him in three months, that was crazy!

He had just started to revisualize his life; the shop in town could probably take him. He was still good at fixing cars even thought he worked so hard to follow his impossible dream. Then he felt a warm and comforting hand on his shoulder, pulling him up from murky despair and grounding him to reality.

"Eddie, what happened? Did we get a bad batch, man?" Steve's concerned and pinched face faded into view.

Eddie snorted and shook his head, offering Steve the scholarship letter as explanation. He watched as Steve's brow furrowed in concentration, two little lines forming that made Eddie want to reach out and smooth them.

"But Eddie, you're not married," Steve said, voice wavering a little in a way that Eddie couldn't decode.

'Nope," Eddie said, popping the P. "Guess college was just a dream anyway." Eddie collapsed on his bed, his hair fanning out around him. "It's gonna fucking suck telling Wayne. Can't believe I was so stupid to apply for this and not realize."

Tears pricked in his eyes. He really was stupid, thinking he could have what he wanted. He was a Munson, and Munson's never got what they wanted.

He felt the bed dip as Steve laid down next to him. "You could marry me," he said nonchalantly, like he was offering to take Eddie's cup back to the kitchen or something.

"Shut up man." Eddie shoved Steve with his shoulder and rose from the bed to get his bong. Steve dropped the conversation as Eddie hoped he would, and they smoked more, watched a movie, and fell asleep.

It was a week later that Eddie found the letter again and the creeping tendrils of time grew every closer. He had to tell Wayne, he had to call the school, he had to figure out something else he was going to do with his life.

At D&D, which Steve so graciously offered his parent's giant house for, Eddie was off, worried about everything and not paying attention. He ended the session early, much to everyone's dismay, but he saw Steve watching him. Steve who didn't let him leave until everyone else was gone. Steve who made him stay under the guise of helping him clean up.

"Something's wrong," Steve stated, his hands on his hips and a dish rag flung over his shoulder.

Tears came to his eyes traitorously and he couldn't stop them. He felt the sword of Damocles hanging above his head right when it finally felt like he could move away from it.

Steve pulled him into a warm hug that Eddie melted into. He cried trying to get out that he could never afford college without the scholarship, that everything he had worked for was going down the drain because he couldn't read the stipulations of the scholarship, that he was going to end up just like Al, a deadbeat who hated his life.

Steve shushed him, shook his head, then said, "First off, you will never be your dad, Eddie. You're way too good for that. And you know my offer still stands."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "I can't marry you, Harrington, don't be ridiculous." It was too big of an offer, Eddie wouldn't do that to Steve.

"Why not?" Steve said so emphatically. "You deserve to have the life you want, Eddie, and if this is how I can help, then I will."

"We can get a courthouse wedding next week. My parents will be mad but fuck them. We're going to the same school, I could pay for the apartment and help you study and sleep on the couch. Then after we graduate, we'll get divorced, no biggie."

"Steve… no biggie? It's four years of your life, man." Eddie was baffled.

Steve shrugged. "What's four years of my life compared to all of yours."

Eddie's jaw dropped, but he started imagining it in his head. It wouldn't be much different than being roommates with Steve. They didn't have to act married. It's not like Steve would be waiting for him with a hot dinner at the end of the day, a little TV, and then retire to their room for missionary sex.

His cheeks heated a little at the thought. He looked at Steve through his eyelashes, a little guilty that he had even thought anything like that about Steve. Eddie theorized that Steve was at least bi-curious, but he was Eddie's friend, it was wrong to think of him like that.

Eddie tucked some of his hair behind his ear. "So you've like, really thought about this, huh?"

Steve nodded. "Sounds like the only time we'll actually have to act married is in your scholarship interviews. An I've looked into courthouse weddings, we just need a witness over the age of 18."

"It's a real marriage, you're 100% sure you're okay with that?" Eddie wanted to give him one more chance to back out. It was a crazy plan; high risk and high reward, but Steve was right and it was the literally only way he could afford college.

"Dude, I wouldn't've offered if I wasn't okay with it." Steve smiled one of those mega-watt crooked smiles and Eddie understood why every girl was after him in high school.

"You're crazy," Eddie laughed.

"What are you wearing to the wedding? You know white is only for virgins," Steve retorted, ignoring him and they were back to their playful banter like they hadn't just agreed to a legally binding contract.

Wayne was confused. He knew of Steve, but he also knew Eddie wore his heart on his sleeve and he didn't know Eddie was sweet on Steve.

They had debated telling Wayne the truth, fearful that the scholarship people would ask around if they got suspicious. So they decided to frame it as an impulsive decision, one made while they were high (which was sort of true because the best lies always have a grain of truth) and Steve always wanted a June wedding.

"Sorry I didn't ask your permission, sir," Steve murmured with real guilt.

Wayne snorted and shook his head. "Eddie's always been a little wild. Wasn't ever counting on someone asking my permission. As long as he's happy." Wayne smiled a rare smile with teeth that made Eddie's heart squeeze.

Eddie twisted the simple silver band around his finger. He was used to his many rings, but despite the simplicity of this one, it felt heavier. Steve had a coordinating gold one on his finger, insisting it went with his skin tone better. He told Steve they didn't have to wear them, but Steve was worried that if they didn't get in the habit, someone would catch them.

"Wedding rings leave indents, Eddie. We gotta have the indents," He had explained.

Steve didn't want to bother telling his parents. They already didn't like him, he didn't want Eddie to be more fodder in their eyes. They were always gone anyway so he would have to tell them on a phone call if he chose to. Eddie was baffled and tried to hold out on wanting Steve to tell them, but in the end, every time he brought it up, Steve would get pouty and teary eyed and it made it really hard for Eddie to keep it up.

So in the end, they left Hawkins without Steve's parents knowing about the rings on their fingers on a sweltering day in mid-August. They packed Eddie's van full of their stuff for their new life together and drove to their new apartment.

One perk of being married was Steve and Eddie didn't have to live on campus in a dorm, they could live in an apartment they could actually move around in and use the bathroom privately. Steve's trust fund paid the rent, his tuition, and their groceries. Eddie tried to get a job, but Steve forbade it, telling him that he didn't mind and that Eddie should focus on school.

It was a humid day when they met with Eddie's scholarship people. They had been up late into the night trying to get the details of their "relationship" right. Eddie was worried about any little slip up and he would be gone, thrown out into the streets immediately. He was also concerned because the humidity made his hair extra unmanageable and fluffy.

Steve reassured him on both fronts, promising that Eddie would know what to say and Steve would always back him up and that his hair was cute. Eddie was fussing with said hair when a middle aged woman stepped out of the room they were to meet in.

"Mr. Munson?"

"Yes?" He and Steve said at the same time.

Eddie gave Steve a quizzical look as he huffed out a laugh.

"Sorry!" Steve smiled at the woman. "I'm just so excited I get to call myself that now!"

The woman smiled back warmly. "Not a problem. If you two would follow me?"

Eddie jumped as Steve took his hand and led him after the woman. It all felt too real. It was real legally, he had to remind himself. But something about how Steve jumped into his role with ease while Eddie was sweating and nervous made him uncomfortable. He didn't know Steve was that good of an actor, although it did make him relax a little for the interview. He could just blame any awkwardness on nerves.

They sat before a panel of five people; the middle aged woman and four others. They greeted each other, did introductions and then they got down to it.

"Mr. Munson, we want to offer a sincere congratulations on being awarded the Brude Scholarship," One of the men, Martin, said. "My father was married for 70 years and he always said it made him a better person and artist, so this scholarship was set up in his honor. We're just going to be going through some basic questions and then we'll get you on your way, I know there is lots of work to be done in setting up your shared home."

While Martin talked, Eddie tensed. He didn't know the guy's kid ran the scholarship. Steve squeezed his hand under the table where they sat. He looked at his soft face and relaxed. It was all going to be okay because Steve was there.

"First off," Started the original woman who greeted them. "Why do you want to be an artist?"

Eddie took a breath and spoke. He told them about his life growing up and how art in some way, shape, or form was always an outlet to him and more specifically his toys and how happy they made him. How he wanted to help other kids have a rich creative world with the things he created, like paying it forward.

The panel seemed satisfied with his answer and moved on. He answered more questions about the program and art and toys and industrial design and then they shifted.

"Why did you and Steve decide to get married. You're so young,… why not keep dating?"

"Steve's the one for me. I knew there wasn't anyone else who understood me, who made me laugh as hard, who makes me better." It was a rehearsed answer, one that he and Steve had gone over.

"Plus, look at him. I had to lock him down," Eddie joked and it got some chuckles out of the people in front of him. He smiled at Steve who looked adoringly at him and cupped his cheek.

"I love you," he mouthed, and Eddie burned. He could feel the heat radiating off him.

There were a couple more softball questions about their marriage and then Martin gathered the papers in front of him.

"Forgive the invasive questions gentleman, we do have to do our due diligence here. But everything seems to be in order, just one last question and you're free. I'm looking at the date and circumstance of your marriage here and it's all… rather convenient. A courthouse wedding a week after the scholarship acceptance was sent out?"

Eddie turned red again, his breathing picked up and he opened his mouth, but his brain was empty. They hadn't prepped for this one.

"I can explain that," Steve said smooth and calm. "I believe we graduated high school right around the time the letter was sent and my parents made a rule that I had to be graduated before we got married. My mom almost got married in high school and she said it almost ruined her life, so she wanted me to have my diploma before my marriage license. A week after graduation was the soonest we could do it, so of course that's when we did it. So, I do apologize for that!"

There was a moment of silence before anyone spoke again.

"I would have married him the day I met him if I could have, trust me." Eddie found himself saying.

The panel burst out laughing, and Martin spoke again. "Well, we wish you a long and happy marriage, and a good school year. Steve are you also attending this college?"

"Yes, sir. Going for early childhood education," Steve replied brightly.

"Well good luck to you. We'll see you back here before the next school year."

They waited until they were safely away from the hall before they let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Steve… you were amazing," Eddie breathed, hugging his friend tightly. "I sucked, hopefully they didn't see right through it."

He pulled back and Steve's face was pink. "I think they'll just chalk it up to nerves, you did fine."

"Yeah, but you had perfect answers, you were calm and convincing, I couldn't do this without you, Steve." Eddie watched Steve blush and look away again as he downplayed his success in the meeting. Eddie decided to drop it, but made a note to make it up to him later.

Over the months, Steve and Eddie fell into a routine.

They were both busy, with Eddie having to spend late nights in the studio to finish his projects in time for critiques the next morning. He felt like he barely saw Steve, but every time he got home from a caffeine bender in the studio, there was something Steve cooked ready in the fridge for him to heat up. It was like Steve was trying to take care of him even when they couldn't see each other because of schedules.

When they first moved in together, Steve volunteered to take the couch or air mattress, but after the first couple times Eddie was almost out all night at the studio, he felt so guilty seeing an empty bed and Steve tossing and turning. He shook Steve awake and helped him into the bed. Steve was so sleepy, he hung onto Eddie and didn't even protest. Eddie even tucked him in and when he slipped between the sheets of the air mattress, they were still sleep-warm from Steve. He snuggled up and decided it wasn't so bad.

December approached fast and a rare night where they were both home saw them on the couch giggling and high.

"Oh!" Steve exclaimed after laughing for way too long at the Muppet Show. "I have your Christmas gift."

"Steve," Eddie warned, feeling suddenly sober. "You seriously didn't have to get me anything, you already do enough for me."

"Shut up, Munson, it's Christmas, let me give you a gift," Steve huffed and dragged himself off the couch.

He returned with a neatly wrapped present topped with the perfect bow, because of course Steve Harrington was perfect at wrapping presents, too. He almost felt bad about ruining the craftsmanship. Almost.

He ripped open the paper and peered inside the box to see… something he didn't recognize. Clear plastic with magnifiers attached to a strip of elastic.

"They're for your eyes," Steve mercifully explained. "You strap it to your head and it magnifies your vision."

Eddie still didn't quite understand and he was about to thank Steve anyway when Steve took them.

He put the contraption around his head and mimed something. "For when your doing detail work. On like, your figurines or your shapes for school."

Eddie gasped. He didn't realize Steve payed attention like that.

"Steve… thank you," was all he could manage. "I didn't get you anything." He was embarrassed, he should have seen this coming. Steve was generous and kind, of course he would get Eddie a present.

"Pssh," Steve said, waving his hand. "You smoke me out like all the time, so we'll call it even."

Finals came fast and furious and before Eddie knew it, it was time to head home for the holidays. It was going to be weird not having Steve around all the time, but he missed Wayne. He missed Benny's. He missed sleeping in a bed.

The parting of the ways felt weird to Eddie. He was going to the same town as Steve, they would see each other while they were in Hawkins, but after acting married for a whole semester it felt strange to just hug and say goodbye. Eddie drove to Hawkins with a little pit in his stomach, a twinge of anxiety he couldn't put his finger on.

He cried when he saw Wayne, not realizing just how much he missed him. It was a weird limbo of feelings. Eddie in the place he mostly grew up, feeling both like a kid and too grown up for his high school bedroom. He did all his favorite things in Hawkins, even DMing a little oneshot for the kids. Eddie hoped he would see Steve, but the kids all rolled their eyes, saying that Steve was too busy to drive them.

Eddie thought about calling him, but was unsure what Steve's parents knew and didn't want to get him into trouble. Steve spoke a few times of his folks, and while they weren't quite like Al (no one was going to take Steve away), he felt a kinship to the way Steve was raised.

Week after week went by without Steve and Eddie found that he missed him. It wasn't an abnormal feeling, but what was abnormal was the longing, the lingering feeling.

"Fuck," He whispered to himself. And he knew this would happen. He knew he would fall for Steve. How kind and generous and good he was at acting married didn't help Eddie's case, but even with all of that stripped away, Eddie knew he would fall for Steve the moment they reconnected in Science class.

"Goddamn it," he cursed, wanting to kick something. It was going to be a long four years.

"Soooo, summer's coming up," Steve nonchalantly said a night when Eddie was home. His program was brutal, kept him in the studio almost all the time, but he loved it. It was everything he dreamed and more. He was doing what he loved, learning so much, and being challenged in a field he always excelled in.

"I'm just wondering if I should sublet the apartment? Like are you going home or?" Steve continued.

"Uhhh, I hadn't really thought about it," Eddie said, looking up from his final project.

"I would be cool staying," Steve said at the same time Eddie said, "I'm gonna spend the summer with Wayne, I think."

"Oh," Steve's voice fell and Eddie automatically regretted his answer.

"If you wanna stay, we can stay!" Eddie tried to backtrack, the sweat on his neck turning cold.

"No, no, it's fine!" Steve held up his hands and Eddie knew he was disappointed. He tried to work on his project but couldn't help thinking of Steve all alone in his big house all summer.

"You know you can come to the trailer whenever? Wayne loves you and you're a better cook than me."

Steve smiled and it was like looking at the sun. "I should teach you to cook, we're not always going to be living together you know. And the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, don't you know?"

Eddie laughed but then thought of the implications of everything. If Steve came over, Wayne thought they were married, they would have to keep up the act. He had sick little thrill that went through him, having to still pretend with Steve over the summer.

He thought about what Steve said, teaching Eddie to cook… because he would be gone one day and Eddie felt sick. After almost a year, living with Steve was almost as easy as breathing. Their rhythm worked incredibly well for Eddie, they helped each other, understood each other, made each other laugh and did nice things for each other. They really were married, not just on paper, but co-existing in a harmonious way. And Steve wanted Eddie to learn how to cook so Eddie could cook for someone else, could woo someone else, when Eddie never wanted someone else other than Steve.

"Yeah, totally. I'm hopeless right now," Eddie replied way too late to Steve's offer to help.

Leaving for summer felt weird, like there was so much left unsaid. There was a lot left unsaid, but Eddie couldn't say it lest his scholarship go away and his friendship with Steve be ruined.

It took a week of Eddie missing Steve, a week of moping around, of seeing Steve in passing, of not talking to anyone but Wayne for Eddie to call. He knew it was a risk with Steve at his parent's place. He still didn't know what they knew. He couldn't imagine not telling Wayne what was going on in his life, but for Steve it just seemed easier to not reveal anything about his personal life to his parents. He said, "they would pick me apart, its just simpler this way," with a shrug.

Eddie held his breath as the phone rang and rang before finally a familiar voice answered, "Harrington residence!"

"Steve, that's so dorky," Eddie laughed.

"Hey, man, sometimes important people call here and I have to show decorum." Eddie could practically see the bitchy little furrow in Steve's brow.

"Wow, I'm wounded, you're saying I'm not important?" Eddie feigned offense.

"Shut up, Munson, you know you're like one of the most important people in my life," Steve scoffed like what he said was easy, like it didn't knock the breath out of his lungs and stop his heart for a second.

It was quiet for far too long before Eddie recovered. "Whatever, Harrington, you coming over or what? I got a new movie."

Steve laughed and arrived with popcorn and that was how the rest of the summer was spent. In the dark, six inches away from each other, laughing and screaming and crying and eating. Sometimes Wayne would come home and give them a look, but nothing interrupted their bubble of bliss.

Sophomore year came around with another interview, which went much better than the first round. Eddie felt confident in his answers with a year under their belt and the scholarship people were less suspicious, so it felt like they could breathe a little.

Eddie was unfortunately exponentially busier with his art and studies and applying for jobs that the program supported to get experience (and money) before graduating.

There were several nights that Eddie had to interrupt their little domestic routine because he had to pull an all nighter at the studio to complete a project before the deadline.

His ears perked up at Steve's voice outside the studio where he could barely hear it over one of his classmate's chosen music on the radio. He ripped himself away from his work and caught Steve talking to a bewildered grad student looking him up and down. Eddie's stomach spiked with jealousy and protectiveness over how they were looking at Steve. His classmates knew he was married, he talked about Steve some, but no one had seen him before.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Eddie Munson? Do you know him?" Steve asked the grad student as the guy rolled his eyes and pointed at Eddie behind Steve's shoulder.

Steve whipped his head around and his whole face lit up when he saw Eddie. Eddie gave a little wave and walked towards him as he thanked the guy.

"Whatever, prep," he said as he walked away.

Eddie clenched his fists, but Steve looked no worse for wear as Eddie took a look at what Steve was carrying: a blowup mattress, a pillow, a blanket, and a tupperware full of food.

"Steve…" Eddie trailed off, filled with emotion.

"You haven't come home a couple times and I thought these would help. I know you're working hard, but please get some rest sometime, okay man?" Steve pushed his shoulder and Eddie remembered what kind of relationship they actually had.

"Thanks for this, Steve, it's really thoughtful. Everyone is gonna be so jealous of me," Eddie joked, but it was kinda real. If they wanted to get some sleep they would have to use the crusty couches while Eddie slept on the air mattress.

"No worse than I use at- mmph!" He was cut off by warm lips on his. He blinked his eyes open in shock and Steve's face was far too close and out of focus.

It ended as soon as it started and Eddie, maybe for the first time in his life, was rendered speechless.

"Sorry," Steve whispered. His face was flushed and he couldn't look Eddie in the eye. "I uh, saw one of your scholarship people." He jerked his head behind him and lo and behold, a person in a tweed jacket was walking away from them.

"Fuck, Steve," Eddie breathed, his brain not quite back yet.

"Sorry," Steve said again, looking sheepish. "I didn't want him to hear that you sleep on this at home, too."

"Good point, sweetheart." Eddie snapped his mouth shut. He was too tired, too kissed, too mid-semester to hold back. He watched Steve's face turn a deeper shade and bit his tongue. It was already embarrassing enough to kiss, now Eddie was calling him pet names? He needed a diary or something to get all these feelings out.

The air between them was awkward and the silence went on for longer than it should have.

"Okay, well, I hope you do well on this project. Try to get some sleep, you're always a nightmare after you pull an all nighter," Steve said with lightness in his voice.

Eddie let go of the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Right, I'll try. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course!" Steve leaned in for a hug. Even more of Eddie's breath released. It was quick, but it felt normal after the lines had crossed.

Eddie didn't go back into the studio until Steve rounded the corner with a little wave that made Eddie laugh and not feel as bad for his slip of the tongue. Then he designed built a toy car so sick it healed his inner child a little bit.

It was a rarity that Eddie got out of the studio or apartment, but ever since Steve's kiss he'd felt off being there. It was nothing Steve did, he understood why the kiss had happened, it was more that Eddie couldn't stop thinking about it. It haunted him, the kiss. To know what the softness of Steve's lips felt like, the slight stubble of his face scratching Eddie's smooth skin, his hands and the way they had gripped at Eddie.

He sighed to himself as he smudged eyeliner on in the art building bathroom. He could usually get over stuff easier, but being "married" to Steve was leaving him hung up, unable to really move on. Maybe he would meet someone tonight and it would all turn out okay. He looked at himself in the mirror knowing that it wouldn't happen, but he put on a happy face anyway.

He and a couple of the other people in the design studio pre-gamed on the way there with shitty vodka and gatorade so he was a little buzzed by the time he handed the kid at the door a crumpled 5 for his entry fee.

He was ushered into a damp, low-ceiling basement with flashing lights and pounding music. One of the music majors was DJing and it was good. The bass was so loud, Eddie could feel it in his chest. Perfect.

He danced with his friends for a little, drank a cup of the jungle juice that was provided in a big bin. He felt floaty and not quite all there when it happened.

A light shined down like a cloud had parted and the sun was revealed even thought it was inside a dank basement and night. Eddie looked up and he was there. Steve. His roommate. His actual real-life husband. The guy he thought was straight and would never have a chance with was there. Dancing on another guy.

Steve moved his body like he had experience with it, gyrating and pushing back and thrusting an arm back to pull the guy closer. His eyes were closed and Eddie thanked whoever was up there because he couldn't look away. If Steve opened his eyes for just a second, he would surely see Eddie staring slack-jawed like a piece of meat. It was like time had frozen except for Steve and Eddie.

Jealousy reared its ugly head as Eddie continued to stare. He didn't even know Steve liked guys like that. He dated a lot of girls in high school and didn't show interest in any boys there.

Would YOU have wanted to date any of the guys at school? Eddie's brain supplied and he kicked himself for being closed minded. It was college, it was time to experiment, go down paths that you couldn't before, explore what you liked and didn't, not everyone got hit with the gay hammer in seventh grade.

Steve was allowed to do whatever he wanted, it's not like he was Eddie's real husband. But that didn't help the green-eyed monster tromping its way around Eddie's brain. Just, why couldn't he have experimented with Eddie? Why this art douche with a horrible piercing?

He smoothed his hands down his body just to ground himself again and blushed when he got to his jeans. He was hard. Just from watching Steve and this guy. Fuck.

He ducked away, making sure Steve didn't see him, but he was blissfully dancing eyes closed still. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and exited the basement, placing his half-full cup on the kitchen counter before leaving.

The cool night air helped clear his mind a bit and by the time he tucked himself into bed he was almost okay with what he saw. Almost.

And then Steve came in. More like crashed into the apartment. Eddie could tell he was trying to keep quiet, but due to his drunkenness that was pretty much impossible.

He listened carefully for another pair of footsteps, another voice, any sign that Steve wasn't alone. But he only heard Steve clomping around like a gazelle before he fell into the bed.

Any other night, Eddie would help him get to bed, pour him a water, put two painkillers next to the bed. But Eddie was afraid to get up, to reveal that he was still awake, to interact with Steve when he was flushed with shitty jungle juice and dancing on someone that made him happy.

Eddie's sleep was fitful that night as he felt a hole rip open inside him that he didn't fully understand.

Steve had a new friend. He met her at an education workshop for all levels of majors as she was going for high school language education to Steve's elementary. He brought her over often or went over to her apartment and it warmed Eddie's heart that Steve had someone else in his life who truly seemed to understand him. Eddie didn't want to elevate himself too much but he always felt that he was one of those people, but Steve should have more.

Eddie heard all about her, but because of his job and classes, he never met her properly. The way Steve spoke about her felt like Eddie was being stabbed in the gut. He smiled when he spoke of her, they had inside jokes, like their own language. Despite what Eddie saw at the party, as far as he knew, Steve still liked girls and his friendship with Robin felt inevitable. He felt for Steve for the conversation that he would have to have with her about his situation with Eddie and how they would have to wait.

It often made Eddie feel guilty, the situation. He felt like he was stealing years of Steve's life. Even if Steve said it was okay and reassured him. They couldn't risk bringing people home or going with anyone else.

He decided that with the money he made from his job through the art school he could probably swing losing his scholarship if he had to. He had always scraped by in life, he could do it again for a little while. Not for himself, but for Steve to be able to have a life in his prime years.

Near the end of the semester, Eddie came home and there was a girl on the couch. He was a little confused as she jumped up and pulled him into an embrace.

"Oh my gosh, you must be Eddie. You're just like Steve described; this hair!! Steve's just in the bathroom. Oh, I'm so excited to meet Steve's husband!! You know when Steve first told me he was married, I couldn't believe it, but seeing you now, I totally get it. I-"

"Robin, you're scaring him," came Steve's voice from the hall.

Robin stepped back and flushed a little. "Sorry," she said sheepishly and stuck her hand straight out. "I'm Robin, I've been told I talk too much."

"Eddie," he replied, taking her hand. It felt oddly formal but right for meeting someone so important to Steve for the first time.

They chatted for a little about their majors, Robin peppering Eddie with questions about his as she didn't realize toy designer was a real job.

They had a beautiful dinner that Steve prepared and the atmosphere was warm and jovial. They were winding down when Robin looked between the two of them and sighed.

"Gosh, look at you two. I am so jealous. Dating sucks, I just wanna have what you have."

Eddie flushed and looked away from Steve. It was getting harder and harder to do the fake marriage thing not just because of Eddie's feelings but also it was coming to an end soon. They had about a year before graduation and their time was up, before their quick and easy divorce that Steve promised at the beginning. As much as it killed him, Eddie didn't want it to end. He loved living with Steve, he loved seeing him every day, he loved how thoughtful he was and how he took care of things before Eddie even realized they needed to be taken care of, he might even love Steve for real, be he kept that part pushed way down.

Robin left cracking a joke about Steve and Eddie rushing her out for date night and the tension didn't crack after the door shut.

Steve went to clean the dishes and Eddie felt like a petulant child as he approached.

"You can, uh, tell her, you know." Eddie scratched at his arm, desperate for something to do.

Steve sighed. "We're just friends, why do I have to tell you of all people that?" He scrubbed at a particularly stubborn cheese burn on the dish.

"No, no, not that, you could tell her about our marriage. That it's fake, I mean." He ignored the elation in his belly at Steve's clarification of their relationship.

Steve stopped what he was doing, the dish making a muffled clatter in the soapy sink. "Why would I wanna do that?" He turned around and the look on his face made Eddie regret bringing it up. Steve looked like a wounded puppy who just got told his adoption fell through.

"Well, I just figured you seem so close if you don't wanna hide this from your best friend, you don't have to." Eddie felt a blush of embarrassment creep into his cheeks, feeling like he overstepped with Steve or mischaracterized his relationship with Robin.

"Do you not wanna pretend anymore? I thought that was the whole point of this?" Steve washed the dishes again, hands plunged in the soapy water as it appeared he scrubbed furiously.

"I want the scholarship people to think I'm married. If people like Robin know the truth, that's fine! I just didn't think you would wanna hide something like that from her. All the comments she made about us being married, you don't have to keep lying to her, I'm fine with it."

"Besides, you're already sacrificing your whole life for me with the not dating and taking care of the apartment while I'm away, cooking and cleaning. The least I can do is allow you to tell your best friend the truth about us." It was all spilling out, everything Eddie had been thinking in the last three years minus all the horny thoughts about Steve he had. But everything around his guilt and the way Steve drew the short straw.

"You're my best friend, Eddie," Steve said said so quietly, so sad, Eddie wasn't sure if he heard him.

"You're my best friend," Steve said louder, whipping around again and looking at Eddie where Eddie could see the tears welling in Steve's eyes. "That's what you think? You pity me that much?" Steve sniffed.

Eddie's heart squeezed. "What? No!"

"You think I'm sad because I'm not dating, that my life is horrible because I live with you, that I'm making this huge sacrifice for you? You talk like you're a… a parasite, Eddie and I hate that. It makes me so-" His speech was choked off by a sob.

Eddie didn't know how he fucked up this badly. He floundered, unsure of how to help when his words were the catalyst of Steve's emotion. He landed on handing Steve a paper towel, which he took as he took a breath.

"I take care of the apartment because it calms my brain down. I like cleaning and cooking and I wouldn't do it if I didn't like it. I also have to eat and live in a nice apartment. Sure, bringing you food and packing it for you is maybe going above and beyond, but I like seeing you get excited about it and knowing that you're taken care of."

"Living with you is not a burden. I wouldn't have agreed to this if I thought it was going to be. I know I don't talk a lot about it, but my parents aren't the best. They're very close-minded and hate that I'm pursuing education, hate that I'm using my trust fund to live away from them and get my degree. Living here is 100% better than the alternative."

Eddie stood speechless. He never thought of any of this, just assumed he was this huge inconvenience, a parasite, like Steve said. He never would have imagined that Steve chose marrying Eddie for his own reasons.

"And in terms of the 'sacrifice' I'm making around dating…" Steve rolled his eyes and air quoted 'sacrifice'. "I did terrible in high school because I was always concerned about what some girl thought of me, or what my next date was going to be, or how to win one of them over. It was all I could think about and I just barely scraped by. I really care about being a teacher and being a good one. I'm glad not to have that distraction. I'm in school and want to do well just the same as you, Eddie, so please don't think I'm just a door mat or something. I love my life. I love living with you. Our situation is a bit weird but I really don't mind it. It's symbiotic, it's helping me too, okay? Don't think I'm falling on a sword for you."

"Steve, I-" Eddie stammered, unsure of what to say. "I didn't know any of that, I'm so sorry. I guess I thought because I felt so guilty, my thoughts must be true."

"Oh, Eddie," Steve sighed. He wrapped Eddie in a hug, making two wet hand prints on the back of his tee-shirt from the dishes.

"I'm sorry you felt like that for so long, that sounds really hard on top of everything else."

Eddie nodded, feeling tears prick at his eyes and Steve pulled away and gave him a warm smile.

"Now, help me dry these please." Steve slapped his back and Eddie smiled weakly. He would help Steve Harrington do anything.

It was Eddie's fault. He was the one who decided to go to the gym with his rings on then into the studio to do some work. He was the one who took his rings off when the swelling went down and lost them for a whole week. He was the one who accidentally got into a conversation with one of the scholarship people instead of dodging them. So therefore, it was also Eddie's fault he and Steve were pulled into an impromptu scholarship meeting at the tail end of the semester.

Two chairs were set outside the conference room, making Eddie feel like he was at the elementary principal's office for swearing again.

"Steve, I'm so fucking sorry." He apologized over and over. Steve was agonizing over a unit plan project he had due very soon and the last thing he needed interrupting him was to talk with some old people about how much he just loved Eddie.

"Eddie, it's okay. It'll be fine, I promise," Steve said, trying his best to soothe Eddie's frazzled nerves.

"How do you know that, Steve? What if I lose my scholarship? I'm so close to the end, Wayne would be so disappointed in me."

Steve snorted, breaking Eddie out of his temporary doom spiral.

"What's so funny?" He snapped, meaner than he intended but Steve took it in stride.

"Wayne has a lot of feelings around you, but I don't think disappointment is in his arsenal. That man looks at you like you shit rainbows, Eddie. And in terms of your last year, we'll figure it out." Steve grabbed his hands softly, his hands were warm and comforting. They grounded Eddie for a moment before he thought about Steve's pronoun use. We'll figure this out, he said.

Steve had been doing that a lot more recently and Eddie didn't know if he realized it, referring to them as a unit, as a partnership, as a union, as a 'we'. It was hard not to feel safe with Steve's hands on him and the we.

But then the door opened and Eddie shot up, tearing his hands away from Steve, something he watched the guy look at, then look at him.

"The board will see you now," He said, but when Steve and Eddie moved toward the door at the same time, he frowned. "One at a time."

Eddie looked desperately at Steve, who gave him a small smile attached to a strange look in his eyes.

"Go," he mouthed and Eddie gave him a curt little nod. He looked at Steve as the door closed as long as he could before walking further into the room and taking a seat.

The board sat across from him, looking stern and judgemental.

"Eddie, how are your classes going?" A low-ball question to get them started, Eddie supposed.

He talked about how much he loved art and learning how to build and design things, how satisfying it was to work with his hands and get opportunities in his field already.

Then they dug in.

"Have you ever discussed divorce with Steve?"

"Have you ever fought with Steve so badly you thought you would break up?"

"Has college been a temptation for you, getting married so young?"

"Have you discussed ending the marriage at the end of your schooling?"

"What are your sleeping arrangements?"

"Would you be together if it weren't for this scholarship?"

Eddie felt himself heat up as he told lie after lie after lie.

"Do you love Steve?"

"Yes," he breathed without hesitation or thinking, scarcely having to room to lie anymore.

"He's so thoughtful and sweet and anticipates my needs before I even voice them. It makes me feel like a deadbeat and a piece of shit sometimes, because I'm never at home and he's always there for me. I cannot fathom what he gets out of a relationship with me, maybe he can see the potential or something, but I am grateful every day he sees something in me because my life would be so much worse without him. He makes me better, he makes me see things about myself that are hard to see without him. He makes me food and brings it here for Christ's sake. He nourishes me in so many ways I cannot even begin to tell you all the ways.

"I was an idiot and lost my ring but I promise you, I will never lose my love for Steve."

Everything spilled out of Eddie, his brain tired after all the lies, so the truth came out.

"Thank you, Eddie, please send Steve in."

Eddie nodded, hoping what he said was enough. He opened the door and hugged Steve fiercely, who gasped in surprise.

"Eddie, Eddie, you you have to let me go." Steve's words were said with a smile, but they felt like a premonition.

He sat outside the room for what felt like forever, much longer than he felt he was talking to them, until finally, the door opened and Steve walked out, his eyes looking shiny.

"Stev- mmph!" He was cut off by a desperate kiss from Steve. He held Eddie's face in his hands and Eddie melted just a touch until he opened his eyes and saw the board staring at them. Right. It was for Eddie's scholarship.

"Hey, hey," Eddie said when they broke, stroking Steve's hair and trying to get a read on his emotional state. There were tears but Eddie genuinely couldn't tell their source.

"I'm okay, we're okay," Steve whispered, making Eddie lightheaded with the 'we' again.

"Okay," he said softly, taking Steve under his arm so they could wait at home for the board's determination.

The call came the next day. Eddie was not losing his scholarship and he was good through graduation, meaning the meeting they just sat through would be their last bar any huge mistake on Steve or Eddie's part.

"I thought for sure I was a goner, they asked all these questions I had to lie about and you know me, I am not a good liar."

Steve shrugged. "Maybe they believe in trueeee loveeeee," Steve sing-songed, clasping his hands together and batting his lashes at Eddie.

"Heh, yeah, maybe," Eddie answered and blushed, shoving Steve's shoulder who collapsed into the giggles.

He couldn't believe he only got one more year of this, of seeing Steve all the time, of feeling this connection he couldn't explain or talk about with anyone. One more year before the end.

The last semester before things got really crazy in the house with Steve student teaching and gone all day just like Eddie, was fun. They made it a point to invite Robin over, watch movies on the couch as much as possible, cook, eat, go to parties and have them, really squeezing the last few moments out of their college years that they could.

They had both changed in the nearly four years, Eddie was settled in his style and personality, learning that he didn't have to change either to be successful in his field. Most of the companies that he had worked for in his time in the program encouraged his uniqueness and creativity. He loved the career he chose, he was good at it, and was lined up at several different places once he graduated, he just had to pick one, so he was kinda coasting to the end.

Steve on the other hand, blossomed in college. Allowed to nurture some of his more "feminine" traits (Eddie offered about 100 times to beat Steve's dad up for suppressing it when he was growing up), experimenting in the kitchen, dressing more softly, embracing teaching and being a carer, Steve was happier than Eddie had ever seen him.

Steve's last year was his busiest, and he often got home later than Eddie from working on lessons, preparing for certification tests, and writing his praxis. He was stressed about everything piled on him in his last semester as well as trying to have a good time, his last hurrah before student teaching.

One night, Eddie popped his head into the bedroom late.

"Hey, Steve. Have you eaten yet? I was gonna make a grilled cheese if you wanted one." Eddie knew the answer was 'no' and watched the color drain out of Steve's face at his realization. Tears gathered in his eyes and Eddie's heart kicked up, guilt curling around him that he made his friend cry.

"Fuck, I'm sorry, Eddie." Steve pressed the heel of his hand into his eye sockets.

Eddie rushed over and knelt beside his chair where he worked and placed a comforting hand on his back. "Steve, why are you apologizing?"

"I'm so busy I can't take care of the apartment anymore. I haven't cooked in days, I feel like a slob and my room is filthy," he sobbed.

Eddie looked around the room. Other than the papers on the desk and a couple pieces of clothing here and there on the floor, the room looked clean to Eddie. It just needed a tidy, but it wasn't dirty.

Eddie let them sit while Steve's sobs subsided and his breathing slowed. Eddie could have imagined it, but he thought Steve leaned into Eddie's touch on his back.

"Hey," Eddie said to get Steve's attention. He had a far away look in his eyes that snapped away at Eddie's voice. "Your worth isn't in the things you do. It's okay if you haven't cooked or cleaned, what's more important to you is getting your degree, right? Becoming the best teacher in the whole state?"

Steve nodded and his lip wobbled, like he would cry again, but the look on his face was different. It was softer, less pinched and red. If Eddie didn't know any better he looked… smitten.

Just then, Eddie realized how close their faces were. Inches away from kissing. Steve looked so beautiful even with his red-rimmed eyes and messed up hair and puffy cheeks from crying. Subconsciously, he drifted closer, then felt sick to his stomach. What was he doing? Steve was vulnerable and Eddie was a dog to take advantage of it.

He turned away and almost immediately regretted it. Steve's eyes got more watery, he looked like a kicked puppy and Eddie felt like an absolute asshole.

He stood and looked away so he didn't have to deal with the consequences of his treachery. "You want tomato soup with your grilled cheese?"

"Yeah," Steve rasped and it was like a knife to his heart.

"Coming right up, sir." Eddie defaulted to humor and ducked out of the room.

He focused on cooking so he wouldn't spiral and by the time he was finished, Steve's door was closed.

He didn't mean to, but he heard Steve on the other side, speaking frantically to who only could be Robin on the phone.

"I don't know," Eddie heard. "It's hopeless. I don't know what to do, how to tell him."

There was a moment of silence then a long sigh. "Robin, you think I don't know that? God, we only have like 6 more months of this."

Eddie felt like he had been shot, a gaping hole where his heart was. He always knew this was the plan, and he had been dreading it too, but after their conversation the previous year, Eddie thought he knew how Steve felt. The almost-kiss must have changed things.

He cleared his throat and knocked on the door, not being able to hear anything else. "Foods here outside your door, Steve!" He called through the wood, then bolted to the living room to eat quickly, then leave for the studio. He had things he could work on, and any place was better than his apartment where he might have almost ruined things forever.

Graduation day barreled toward them so quickly, Eddie barely had time to savor the last months of college. Between them finishing up classes and interviewing for jobs, Eddie barely saw Steve and when he did it felt awkward, especially right after the almost-kiss.

They seemed to warm up little by little as time went on, but it felt worse since they both were so busy and stressing about their futures.

Steve got his certification (with flying colors) and received an award from his program for excellence in student teaching. He was close to a job, with a couple places giving him two interviews.

Eddie was no longer searching for jobs as his last rotation was with Mattel, who loved Eddie, his ideas, and creativity and offered him a job upon graduation. He of course accepted and teared up calling Wayne to tell him the good news. Wayne the man who sat him down and made him admit what he wanted to do, who made him get his life together enough to get him to the place where he could receive an offer from Mattel, who loved him fiercely no matter what.

Eddie was excited to graduate but he also felt the sword of Damocles hanging above his head. They hadn't talked about it, but the imminent divorce and moving out from their apartment was like a string of fate that was getting shorter and shorter.

Eddie ignored it all the way until the night before graduation. He and Steve sat on the couch watching something banal on TV when Steve broke the silence.

"You're walking tomorrow, right?"

Eddie huffed out a laugh. "I have to because of the scholarship, but also Wayne would strangle me if I didn't. He said that if I could get through four years of college, than I can get through a four hour ceremony."

"You really think it's going to be four hours?" Eddie looked and Steve wasn't joking, his face was dead serious.

"No!" Eddie laughed. "Probably like two but it'll feel like four hours. And Wayne has no clue how long these ceremonies are."

Steve laughed, a sound Eddie realized in that moment that he missed hearing.

"Have you steamed your gown?" Steve asked.

"Huh?"

"Your gown, have you steamed it?"

"I heard what you said, Harrington, I'm just having trouble comprehending it."

"Steaming gets the wrinkles out from where it was folded in the bag. Like ironing," Steve clarified.

"Uhhh, I don't think mine is out of the bag yet?" Eddie said sheepishly.

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed and swatted him on the arm.

He reached over and pulled his gown out of a pile of stuff and tossed it at Steve, who's mouth dropped open in scandal when he saw that Eddie was being truthful about it still being in the bag.

He went to his room and brought out a contraption that looked like a industrial vacuum, but steam came out.

They laughed at Eddie's lack of care and Steve's overly caring nature. Eddie offered to smoke them out "one last time."

Steve hesitated, but then accepted with a little insistence from Eddie. And it felt just like old times in a way that made Eddie ache. He was so worried or stressed or guilty during their time together that he forgot to savor the time he had with his friend. He forgot that Steve was his friend before he had a crush on him, before they became legal husbands, before Steve took care of him better than most of the people in his life. Now he was afraid he experienced all of it and now he would have to go back. They were both stepping into an unknown chapter and Eddie wasn't close to being ready.

"'re you gonna design Barbies, Ed?"Steve asked, snapping Eddie back to reality and he realized he did it again, forgetting to be present.

Eddie laughed. "I'm not sure what team I'll be on. You know Mattel makes a lot more than Barbies, right?"

Steve pouted so cutely and it made Eddie wanna reach over, grab his face, confess his feelings and sleep in the same bed as his husband.

"But I like Barbies. Was never allowed to have them as a kid, too pretty and girly. You should design like cool ones."

Eddie's heart broke for Steve like it often did when he spoke of his childhood. "Maybe that's where they'll have me, Stevie."

"Good," Steve huffed and scooted in closer. The low sound of the TV was making Eddie nod off but Steve spoke in a small voice that shook his tiredness away.

"You moving to LA, then?"

Eddie nodded, then realized that Steve couldn't see him, so he adjusted his body. "Yeah," He said with a little sadness in his voice. "I head to LA in a few months. They luckily allowed me a little time after graduation."

"I'm really proud of you, Ed. You fucking did that and now you have your dream job," Steve sniffed, his voice pinched.

"You did it, too, Stevie," Eddie replied, meaning it. Steve scoffed and Eddie could tell he rolled his eyes. "Who would have thought we would make it here, huh?"

"Yeah."

It was silent for a long while, just the sound of the TV and Steve's little sniffles he was trying to hide.

"Last night of being married, too," Eddie joked and immediately regretted it as he felt Steve stiffen.

"I'm going to bed," Steve said abruptly and when he left, it felt like someone ripped off Eddie's arm, took away a vital organ. The space that Steve had warmed turned cold and Eddie felt a tear fall down his cheek, his big mouth ruining everything again.

Eddie woke bleary eyed to the sounds of Steve in kitchen and the smell of coffee.

"G'morning," He mumbled.

"Morning!" Steve called.

There was a weird energy in the air, like it was charged, like the words left unsaid were there waiting for a chance to pounce. They drank their coffee and ate their breakfast in near silence before heading off their different directions to get ready for the day. Eddie made himself presentable and looked at himself in the mirror.

It was odd seeing himself in a graduation gown for a second time considering he wasn't sure for a long time that he would wear one even the first time. He adjusted the stupid hat on his head and heard a chuckle behind him.

"Want some help?" Steve asked, dressed in his gown as well.

Eddie nodded and Steve came over and adjusted his cap, stuck something in his hair.

"Bobby pins," Steve explained when Eddie made a face. "All done."

Eddie spun around and they looked each other up and down.

"Eddie…" Steve trailed off, tears in his eyes yet again. And suddenly, Steve's arms were around him, squeezing him tight like he didn't wanna let go.

"I'm so proud of you, Eddie. You did so amazing."

Eddie squeezed back, not saying anything because if he did he would say something embarrassing.

"Okay," Steve sniffed, pulling back from Eddie as he wiped his eyes with a smile. "Enough of that, I'll see you out there?"

"Yeah, of course," Eddie said, breathless.

"Okay then." And Steve walked out the door.

Eddie waited five minutes, his heart screaming at him to do something, and left too.

The ceremony was hot, there were too many people. Eddie wasn't even near Steve as they were seated by college and then last name and it was closer to four hours than two, but it was all worth it to hear Wayne screaming for him as he crossed that stage and accepted his diploma. The hug after that hurt Eddie it was so tight was worth it, too.

"Wayne, thank you," Eddie said as they sat in a tavern across from campus.

"For what? Coming? I wouldn't miss this for the world, my boy." Wayne said with a shrug and a twinkle in his eye.

"No, uh, for talking sense into me all those years ago. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

"Eddie, you just needed someone to see you. And give you a swift kick in the pants," Wayne laughed wheezily.

They finished their meal, all smiles and merriment and headed back to the apartment. Eddie wanted to congratulate Steve, have a beer between the three of them. The two people that Eddie cared about the most in the world.

When he unlocked the door, however, Steve wasn't there. He shrugged, it wasn't that weird. They hadn't discussed coming back after the ceremony and Eddie figured he was at Robin's, but then he looked around.

Everything little that was Steve's was gone. His photos and trinkets in the bedroom, his bathroom products, the big thing of whey protein at the top of the fridge.

"Eddie, you okay?" Wayne asked as Eddie darted frantically from room to room.

"He's gone, Wayne," Eddie cried and then his eyes settled on an envelope on the breakfast bar.

Eddie tore into it without a second thought and the first thing he felt was something cold and circular. Fuck. Steve's ring.

Hey Eddie,

I'm sorry this is so sudden, but I really couldn't stand to be here to have this conversation with you. These four years have been the best of my life. I've loved living with you. I've loved being your husband. I've loved cooking and laughing and being stressed and watching stupid movies and everything else with you, but it's clear you don't want this to continue, which is totally fine! It's what we agreed on four years ago, why would anything change for you? It doesn't matter that it's changed for me.

I'll pay for the divorce lawyers and anything else we need, I'll try to make it as easy as possible for you so you can start your brand new life in LA. (Don't think that I'm bitter, I'm not, you deserve all your success and good times you'll have in that city.) I really liked being your husband, Eddie, I hope you can find someone more worthy of this ring.

PS Everything I ever said to the scholarship people was true

Your Steve

Tears streamed down Eddie's face. He reread the letter again and again, in disbelief. He traced his finger on the tear drops marks embedded in the paper around "it doesn't matter that it's changed for me".

Steve loved him. Steve loved him and left because he thought Eddie didn't. Suddenly so many moments came rushing back to him. How upset Steve was when he suggested they tell Robin about their situation, the kiss in the hallway, the emergency scholarship meeting where Steve was in with them for so long, the phone call with Robin where Eddie thought Steve wanted out, but maybe he was actually trying to figure out how to tell Eddie his feelings. Fuck, Eddie was so stupid.

Bile rose in his throat and he felt a hand on his back.

"Son?" Wayne's voice broke through the fog. "What is it?"

"He left me, Wayne! I'm- I'm so fucking stupid," Eddie sobbed.

"Hey," Wayne murmured. "You're okay, what happened."

So Eddie explained it, the whole thing. Their "fake" marriage, his feelings for Steve and all the times he thought Steve didn't want to stay married, the scholarship meetings.

Wayne listened intently, never interrupting.

"So you love Steve?" Wayne asked when everything was finished.

"Yeah," Eddie said miserably.

"And he loves you?"

"It appears so."

"So what are you waiting for, Eddie? Go get him!" Wayne shouted.

"But, I'm moving, he had his own life, I can't ask him to do all that for me again."

Wayne ran a hand down his face. "Son, from what you told me, it doesn't seem like these four years were a chore for him as you thought. And these things have a way of working out. Stop dragging your feet and TRY!"

Eddie nodded, rushing to the phone and dialing Robin's number because that was the only place he could be. He kept getting the busy tone and looked at Wayne with exasperation.

"Go, Eddie!"

He ran the 10 blocks from their apartment to Robin's and pounded on the door as he tried to get his breath back. Long nights in the studio were not conducive to running distance.

"Robin please, please, I need to see him," Eddie shouted.

The door opened a crack and Robin pushed her face through. "Don't make this harder for him than it already is, Eddie."

"No, Robin, you don't understand, I love him, too. Please!"

Eddie heard a gasp from behind the door and Robin looked behind her. The door opened wider to reveal Steve, tear tracks streaming down his face. "You do?"

"Steve, oh my god, yes!" Eddie ran in, grasped Steve in a hug and spun him around.

"I was so in my head and such an idiot, I didn't see it, but I love you, too."

He closed the gap and took Steve's lips in a searingly hot kiss and it felt like he was floating. He had kissed Steve before, just that one time, but this was something else entirely. Steve whispered "I love you" in between kisses. Their lips moved and Steve prodded Eddie's with his tongue, which Eddie gladly accepted and opened for him.

They jumped when a door slammed and Robin was nowhere to be found.

"Oops," Steve giggled, blushing, then looked serious for a moment, staring at Eddie with intensity. "You joked all the time about being divorced, I thought you still wanted it to happen." He had that kicked puppy look that Eddie was unfortunately familiar with.

Eddie shook his head. "I only made those jokes because I wanted you so bad and I couldn't think about not being with you. It was my way of coping, I guess."

Steve kissed him again, quick and chaste this time. It was quiet for a long moment, Steve stroking Eddie's hair and them kind of swaying back and forth, just holding each other.

"How long?" Steve asked and Eddie knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Probably since you brought me that first tupperware of food on an all-nighter… You?"

"I've loved you since high school, Eddie. Can't believe you never saw it," Steve giggled. "I wasn't exactly subtle."

"High school," Eddie whispered and shook his head. "I really am an idiot, then."

Then something hit him. "Steve… I'm moving to LA in two months."

Steve shrugged. "They have schools out in LA, don't they?"

"Fuck, I love you." And Eddie kissed him again.

Breathlessly, he pulled away. "I know we've been married for four years, but would you like to go to the movies with me?"

Steve laughed and Eddie took in every little thing. His slightly chipped front tooth, the smattering of freckles he had, the jingle of his laugh, the column of his neck and Eddie didn't believe that he got to have this every single day and he was just sitting under his nose the whole time.

"Come on, let's make up for lost time," Eddie said, pulling on Steve's hand to start their new life right away.