Lunar Eclipse

1

Amity woke up lying on her side. On her injured arm. She rolled over with a grimace. Her face hurt too and her cheek felt somehow... tight and hot. But she could see fine out of both eyes now. Her gaze fell on a lock of dark hair that hung over the edge of a mattress over to her right. She followed it to its source and found Lilith’s face, wrapped in slumber. As she looked at her mentor, a little smile found its way onto her own lips.

She sang to me. I asked her, and she sang... And she stroked my hair. I didn’t have to ask for that. She just did it on her own...

She looked at the... wavy hair spilling over the mattress, then down on her own.

Maybe I could go dark? Maybe I could make it a surprise? Or would that be super weird?

She lay there for a while, trying to picture herself with darker hair. Maybe she should get a haircut as well? She liked the one she had now, though. Maybe she should grow it out? Lilith had long hair...

Her thoughts of hairdos got interrupted by her stomach rumbling. It felt very empty. Was it too early for breakfast? She turned over to look at the clock on the wall. It was barely five thirty in the morning. Her stomach growled again, louder this time. Maybe she could have a little pre-breakfast breakfast, that would probably be fine, right?

She went to use the bathroom and brush her teeth, then she moved quietly downstairs, hoping not to wake the others. When she entered the kitchen, she found a haggard looking Eda standing by the stove, looking half asleep.

“Uh... good morning?” Amity said. Her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat awkwardly.

“Hmwhat?” Eda half turned and squinted at Amity. “Oh, hey... Y’alright kid?”

“I’m f - “ Amity stopped herself, then took a personal inventory. She was not fine. But she was... pretty okay, all things considered. “I’m... okay. Uh... how are you?”

Eda made an amused and tired huff. 

“’m alright. Makin’... somethin’. Whuz it called... coffee. Makin’ coffee. You wan’ sum?”

“Sure. Um... would it be okay if I had something to eat?”

Eda made a sound like ‘Pssshdsmsmfrr’ and waved a hand in the direction of the fridge. Amity took that to mean she could help herself. She found some hard boiled eggs and half a tomato, then sat down at the table. After a minute or two, Eda put down a chipped mug in front of her. The liquid inside was almost tar-like.

“Milk?” Eda asked, shuffling to the fridge.

“Please,” Amity said with a wrinkle between her eyebrows. She didn’t dare try the ‘coffee’ undiluted.

Eda put the milk on the table, then slumped into a seat. She pulled her own cup toward her and took a long swig.

“Ugh,” she said, smacking her lips and grimacing, peering down into the cup. “Like licking a rock.” She shivered, then took another sip.

“What are you doing up so early?” Amity asked, not touching her cup.

“Mh,” Eda shrugged. “Woke up, had to pi - uhh pee, then I couldn’t fall back asleep. You?”

“I was hungry.”

“Yeah, I bet.” She looked over at Amity and gave her a tired, crooked grin. “Want some toast?”

“Oh, uh, yes please.”

There was just something wonderful about watching butter melt on a hot piece of toast. Amity realized that she hadn’t had the... peace of mind to do that in her parents house for a very long time. It was nice to just be able to sit at the table and hear the sound of the forest waking up in the distance while the golden pat of butter slowly transformed from solid to liquid. She took a bite and sat back in her chair, savoring the pleasant crunching texture and sound. Maybe every morning could be like this? She went to tuck her hair behind her ear, but stopped and looked at it instead. She really should do something about her roots... She wanted to look nice for the ceremony.

Eda smiled as she looked at the kid. Luz was energetic and had trouble sitting still a lot of the time, but this one... This one liked the quiet.

Amity noticed Eda looking at her and grinning; she felt her cheeks go warm.

“Wh-what?” she asked, taking another bite of toast.

“Nothing,” Eda said with a shrug. “You just reminded me of Lily, from when we were kids.” Eda chuckled when Amity’s face went a deeper pink. “Always fussing about her hair.”

“What — what was your hair like, before?”

“Red,” Eda grinned tiredly. “Can’t you tell? I’m a firecracker, through and through.”

Amity had no trouble picturing Eda with red hair.

“You... never thought about coloring it?”

“Eh,” Eda shrugged one shoulder. “Gray is fabulous. And I’ve got these things.” She pointed to the light gray hair streaks at her temples. “They’d vanish if I dyed it, I think. I like ‘em.”

“Did one of your parents have dark hair, like Lilith?”

“Hm? Oh, no. Hah...” Eda leaned back in her chair and grinned. “You didn’t know she dyes it?” She chuckled to herself and rolled her eyes.

“She — she does?” Amity’s eyebrows rose high.

“Yup! She’s a redhead, too.”

“... I... I had no idea.”

“She’s trying so hard to look intimidating and severe,” Eda chuckled again and shook her head. “All to protect her mushy, mushy heart.”

“Should I...” Amity trailed off and bit her lip.

“Should you what?”

“Go... dark? For the um... for the ceremony.”

Now it was Eda’s eyebrows that rose high.

“It’s your hair, kid. You can do whatever you want with it.” She made a hand gesture as if this fact was obvious. Amity’s brows furrowed slightly. Eda turned her head to the side and narrowed her eyes a moment and her gaze flicked up to the brown roots at Amity’s forehead. “You can do whatever you want with it,” she repeated slowly. “You don’t have to... match your siblings.” After a second, she added; “Anymore.”

Amity’s cheeks flushed. “Mom — “ she began, but trailed off again. “O-Odalia... likes — liked us to be... color coordinated.”

“Mh-hm.” Eda pursed her lips in disapproval. “Well, there’ll be none of that shit here. Your hair, your decision, period.” She waved a hand and a coin soared over to the kitchen swear jar.

Amity looked up at the sound of the copper piece landing on top of the others. The jar was almost full. Lilith would have contributed to it yesterday. She said she wouldn’t forget. It was reassuring to see Eda keep the habit up, even if Luz wasn’t in the room.

“Oh yeah. Got something for you.” Eda waved a finger and a little satchel Amity instantly recognized floated over from behind the log box.

“That’s...”

“Your sister brought it yesterday. ‘s fine, I checked it. No… hidden nastiness.”

Amity stared at it.

“Plenty of firewood if you wanna...” Eda gestured with her thumb over her shoulder, toward the backyard. And the fire pit.

Amity glanced at Eda, then back at the bag. Her box of pencils were poking out the top. Slowly, she shook her head.

My colored pencils... She didn’t want to burn those; they had been a gift from her grandmother.

“Want me to put it away?”

Amity shook her head again and raised her hands to take the bag out of the air. She put it in her lap and slowly opened the lid. Inside were a few of her favorite non-school clothes, including a Mr Bootsie shirt she was very much not allowed to wear outside Blight manor. Some of her sketchbooks were in there, too. The sight of all these familiar things made her feel confused.

“... Why did she bring me this?” she asked.

“Maybe she’s developing a conscience,” Eda said with an amused huff. “Even asked how you were.”

Amity’s eyebrows rose. She didn’t know what to say to that.

“What... did you make them do, yesterday?”

“Chop wood. Wash windows. How’s your... everything?” Eda gestured to Amity’s various injuries.

Amity looked down at her left arm.

“... Healing, I think.”

“Good.”

“But... very sore.”

Eda gave her a gruff, sympathetic sort of smile and nodded. “Keep telling us when it hurts, kid. Got some salve for that cheek. And let’s get some willow bark tea in ya, too. No heavy lifting for you for a while. And no dishes.”

After the impromptu breakfast, Amity took out her art supplies and started to draw. It felt like she hadn’t drawn anything in forever. It was nice to get absorbed by the colors and shapes appearing on the paper. She could just turn her brain off. The tea helped with the pain in her arm, but the drawing made her forget about it almost completely.

She looked up at the creak from the stairs. Luz came down them, yawning hugely.

“You’re up early,” she said with a smile. “It’s not even seven.”

“I woke up hungry.”

“Did you eat?”

“Yeah, Eda made some toast and...” she looked around. Eda had disappeared.

“Eda was up earlier than me?” Luz stopped in her tracks.

“Yeah, what’s it to ya?” Eda chuckled as she stepped into the kitchen from the backyard. “Morning kiddo. Wash these will you? Need to get something from the shed.” She held out a basket full of various mushrooms toward Luz. “Wear the dish gloves.”

“Ooh mushroom omelet for breakfast!” Luz lit up and stepped toward Eda.

“These ones are for eating,” Eda held up a medium sized red mushroom with yellow flecks and gave Luz a serious look. “None of the others, alright? They’re for potions.”

“Yeah I remember,” Luz nodded and took the basket. “You want an omelet?”

“Mmm... sure, why not. Be right back. No garlic in mine. And could you put the smallest cauldron on the stove with two scoops of water in?”

“Sure. You want an omelet, querida?”

“No thanks, I’m full.”

“Do you think Lilith would want one?”

Amity looked up at the ceiling, then at the clock.

“Maybe we should let her sleep?”

Luz looked at the clock too. “Didn’t she say the um... Sunday punishment started at eight*?”

“Mm. You’re right...” Amity got to her feet and went to put the kettle on.

A few minutes later, Amity entered Luz’s room.

“Um... Lilith?” she said carefully.

Lilith drew in a sharp breath and her eyes flew open, then she turned her head to look at Amity, blinking in the morning light.

“M’yes?” she croaked. Her hand emerged from the blanket and started rubbing her forehead.

She’s such a light sleeper, Amity thought.

“It’s... almost seven. You um... have Ed and Em. At eight, right?” She walked forward and held out the water bottle.

Lilith closed her eyes and took a breath. “Yes, that’s right... Thank you, my dear.” She smiled tiredly and patted the edge of the camp bed. Amity sat down. The ancient springs creaked. Lilith put the warm bundle to her belly and let out a relieved sigh. “How did you sleep?”

“Pretty okay.”

“The injuries didn’t bother you?”

“Not until I woke up. Eda gave me some salve and a cup of tea. I feel better now.”

“Good, I’m glad,” Lilith smiled up at her warmly. “Tell either of us when or if it starts hurting again. I want to keep a close eye on that arm of yours.” She looked down at Amity’s bandaged limb, her expression growing guilty.

“I will,” Amity said. “Did you sleep okay?”

“Like a log...” Lilith shook her head slightly, looking quietly surprised.

“Thank you for... singing to me, last night. A-and for carrying me up the stairs.”

Lilith reached out and covered Amity’s hand with her own, then looked up at her with that marshmallow soft look.

“It was nothing.”

Amity shook her head slowly from side to side. “It was everything...”

Lilith let out a squeaky breath and closed her eyes, squeezing Amity’s hand. Amity smiled. It felt so good to see, to know... that someone cared about her. That the little big things were little big things to them too.

“Luz is making mushroom omelets... she was wondering if you wanted one too.”

“Oh...” Lilith let out a soft breath. “Yes, please...”

Amity lifted her heel and stomped the floor twice. From below came an answering ‘Tink! Tink!’, as if someone had just hit the bottom of a pan with a spoon. Amity blushed and grinned and Lilith let out a little breath of laughter.

“I didn’t want to shout,” Amity explained.

“Much appreciated, my dear.”

2

A steaming plate was put in front of Lilith. The golden yellow omelet even had a sprig of parsley on top.

“Thank you, Luz,” Lilith said with a grateful smile, eagerly picking up her fork. From over by the stove, Eda chuckled softly.

“No problem!” Luz beamed at her, then sat down next to Amity. “Can I look at your drawing? I didn’t want to peek when you were upstairs.”

Amity blushed and smiled, then slid the sketch pad over.

“Ohh it’s a deer with wings! Is that a baby? Aww... Oh! And strawberries and lemons! Amity, these are really good!”

“Thanks. They’re called Perytons. They live in the forest around here.”

“No way! And they fly?”

“Yeah. We saw them once, when we were going... home.” She looked up at Lilith. They shared a warm smile.

“Oh man, I wanna see them too! Could you show me?” Luz looked excited.

“They’re kinda rare. And nocturnal. And hard to spot. And shy? But we could try?”

“Ooh! Cool! You wanna go look for them next full moon?” she asked eagerly, then turned quickly to Eda and asked: “I can borrow Owlbert, right?”

“S-sure,” Amity said, feeling hot around her collar.

“Sure thing, kid,” Eda responded, chuckling at Luz.

“Yes!! It’s a date! Eee!”

Amity felt her cheeks bloom with even more heat. Her entire face, even. And her ears. And the soles of her feet and palms of her hands tingled. She nodded jerkily, then got up from the table for some reason and went to get a glass of water. When she finally turned around again, she found Eda smiling at her in an embarrassingly knowing way. Amity almost felt a little sick; she had drunk too much water all in one go — why had she done that? She didn’t know what to do now and briefly considered having another glass of water.

“Oh my gosh! Is that a Mister Bootsie shirt?!” Luz exclaimed, lifting the light green t-shirt off the top of the pile of clothes on the chair next to her and holding it up.

“Mh-mhm,” Amity hummed. Her brain felt as if it was flickering on and off.

“He’s so cute — “

“K-keep it!” Amity blurted and quickly pressed her lips together.

“Really?!” Luz looked up at Amity with sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks. “Wow, thank you!” She rushed over to Amity and kissed her on the cheek, then spun around, hugging the shirt to her chest, squealing happily.

Asjhdfgjkf! Amity thought, her brain short circuiting.

“Mhm — I — just, yup...” she sidled along the counter and passed the fridge, then fled up the stairs. Eda did her best to stifle her snort of laughter.

Lilith looked after Amity, shaking her head and smiling. Luz’s head was just emerging from the shirt.

“Oh man, I didn’t know there was Mister Bootsie merch! Isn’t he adorable?!” She pulled at the bottom hem of the shirt and looked down at the three legged cat wearing a rubber ducky as a hat, smiling from ear to ear.

Lilith let out an amused breath and smiled up at Luz’s beaming face. “Him, too, yes.”

3

The gravel crunched under Lilith’s boots as she strode toward the gate to Clawthorne manor. At exactly eight o’clock, she waved her hand. The great iron gates swung open, revealing the bedraggled Blight twins. She looked them up and down imperiously.

“Follow me.” She turned, then walked briskly toward the back of the house. But not into her beloved garden this time. Instead, she headed toward the compost heaps.

“Good morning Mr Gregoir,” she greeted the waiting gardener with a stiff smile. Usually, she greeted the witch with a warmer expression, but the presence of the twins had her tense as a bow string.

“Good morning, Madam Clawthorne,” Mr Gregoir responded, bowing his head respectfully.

“You have... helpers today.”

“Ah, yes, I can see that. Been naughty, have they?” He gave a raspy little laugh and peered at the Blight twins in a good-natured manner.

“Naughty does not even begin to cover it. They get a break at lunch and will work until three thirty.”

“Think I got just the thing for them to do,” Mr Gregoir smiled to himself and waved the twins over. “What size helmet do you two wear?”

Lilith left the twins in Mr Gregoir’s capable hands, then made her way to the house. She entered her study, took a look at the large amount of correspondence waiting for her and paused in the doorway. But work would distract her from the very powerful impulse to run back out of the house, jump on her staff and go set the Blight mansion on fire. She forced herself to go sit down at her desk.

Amity made sure her father would never be able to hurt us, she told herself. He thinks he has won; he will be much less dangerous now. Don’t agitate the situation. Bury yourself in work. Do your duty. The only thing that matters is that she is safe. And Luz, King and Eda of course.

She looked over her shoulder at the armchair Amity had claimed last week.

She will sit in it again, maybe even tonight. You should use this time to get some work done and perhaps you could play Opsideo this evening.

The thought of a game lifted her heart and she was able to take a deep breath and relax her tense shoulders. She reached for the top scroll and broke the seal.

4

“Pardon the interruption, Madam,” Mr Gregoir said from the open window.

Lilith looked up, startled. She hadn’t heard him approach.

“Yes?”

“It’s lunch time. The children didn’t bring anything to eat. They’ve been working hard.”

The look in Mr Gregoir’s eyes was troubled. Lilith knew he had a soft heart.

“I’ll... sort something out for them,” she said reluctantly.

“Thank you, Madam.” He turned to leave.

Lilith sat back in her chair. She could do with lunch, too. When she reached the kitchen and opened the fridge she found the leftovers from... yesterday? It had only been yesterday she had asked Amity to become her Apprentice, but it felt as if months had passed. Years, even. She stared at the fridge contents for a long moment, then let out a sigh and took out the pot of soup. Even if all three of them had large portions, there would be plenty left over for later. But it felt like a waste. It was an insult to Luz’s kind heart.

The two steaming bowls on the tray made her mouth water as she carried them into the garden.

“Bring the bowls to the kitchen door when you’re finished for the day,” Lilith said as she placed the tray on a bench. The spoons rattled. She exchanged a nod with Mr Gregoir, then turned to leave.

“Thank you, Miss Clawthorne,” Em mumbled from behind her.

“Make sure you bring your own food next time.” Lilith said it over her shoulder so she wouldn’t have to look at the girl. The sight of her made her feel so terribly angry. The memory of the hungry expression on Emira’s face in the Principal’s office after the ‘Bless you’ note flashed across her mind. When she got back to the kitchen, she sat down at the table and had her own lunch. The soup was wonderful. It put her in a somewhat better mood.

Lilith returned to her study and worked until it was time for the twins to leave. She opened the kitchen door at exactly three thirty and found Mr Gregoir leading the children toward her.

“Thank you for the soup, it was very good,” Em said carefully.

“Thank you.” Ed’s voice was hoarse. They both held out the bowls. There wasn’t so much as a drop of the soup left at the bottom; they looked as if they had been licked clean.

When was the last time you were fed? Lilith wondered, pity and disdain fighting over command of her heart.

“Wait here,” Lilith commanded, then took the bowls inside and put them in the sink. She picked up the bottle of salve Eda had given her and returned outside.

“Thank you Mr Gregoir, you can return to work.”

“See you next week Emira, Edric,” he said and gave the twins a little wave.

“Goodbye Mr Gregoir,” Em said politely.

“Bye.” Ed glanced up at the gardener, then looked down at the ground again.

When Mr Gregoir was out of earshot, Lilith cleared her throat.

“Show me your bruises,” she said stiffly.

Ed and Em exchanged a worried look.

“My si- cousin told me about them. Do you have any new ones?”

The twins quickly shook their heads and Lilith hoped they were distracted enough by the awkwardness of the situation to not have noticed her slip up.

“I have the same salve she used. Show me, then you can apply it yourselves.” Lilith held up the little jar.

Em slowly rolled up her sleeve and held out her arm, keeping her eyes downcast. The bruise looked a few days old. Lilith looked at Ed and he took a reluctant step forward and rubbed the side of his face with his sleeve, then turned his head. The uncovered black eye also looked as if it had been given to him a few days ago.

Lilith could see it happening; how their father had grabbed Em so hard by the arm he had left clear finger marks on her skin. How he must have struck Ed, not with his palm, but with his actual fist. And he had slapped Amity — Lilith’s teeth ground together and pain spiked up her temples. Her nostrils flared. Even though Ed and Em had done so many things that were vile and wrong, they didn’t deserve to be struck. Again, Lilith felt pity and disdain battle it out inside her chest. She took a breath, then forced herself to hold out the salve.

“Be quick about it,” she said in a tense voice.

Em carefully took the jar and opened it, then began to apply it to her brother’s face.

Lilith escorted them to the gate in silence, let them troop past her, then shut it behind them.

“Same time next week,” she said coldly, then waved her hand to lock the gate again. There was a loud clunk and a creak as the metal settled. “Leave. Amity. Alone.”

“But,” Em began, but Ed interrupted her.

“Yes, Miss Clawthorne,” he said. Em looked at him, confused. “I don’t want any more trouble, Em...”

Lilith turned away then. She had nothing more to say to the Blight twins.

She returned to her study and tried to banish the sad looks on the twins’ faces from her mind by burying herself in work again. It was much harder to concentrate now that she had personally seen evidence of such severe mistreatment.

5

Eda, Luz, King and Amity touched down on the back lawn when it got dark.

“Lily, we brought dinner!” Eda shouted as she pounded on the kitchen door. “Guys, look, look, look — she’ll come scurrying like a mouse when you offer her food.” She nudged Luz in the ribs and gave the kids a wink.

“It’s just pie,” Luz giggled.

“That’s prime Lily bait.”

After a minute, the door opened. Lilith sniffed the air.

“See? What’d I tell ya?” Eda chuckled and snorted. “Look at her li’l nose twitchin’.”

“Good evening?” Lilith raised an eyebrow; she had caught the tail end of Eda’s sentence, but the smell of something with rosemary and cheese distracted her. She stepped aside to let the others into the house.

The five of them had dinner in the kitchen, then Eda, King and Luz left for the Owl House.

When Lilith had washed and dried the dishes, she let out a long sigh and rubbed her aching lower back. Without having to be asked, Amity went to fill the kettle.

“Thank you, my dear,” Lilith said gently. It had taken Amity coming back and a delicious meal before she could truly relax after having dealt with the twins earlier in the day. As the tension in her mind lowered, the pain in her body rose. Soon she felt stiff and sore all over.

“Oh, before I forget,” Lilith said as she rubbed her neck. “I will be home late tomorrow. There is a staff meeting I have to attend after school. Please, give me your hand...” She held her own out and Amity took it without hesitation. Lilith smiled at her, then took a breath, put her other hand over Amity’s, turned them all over, then closed her eyes.

“In nomine Clawthorne, ego tibi dabo claves ad focis.**”

Lilith lifted one hand. On Amity’s palm was a seal, etched in blue-white light. It didn’t hurt in the slightest, but it made the hairs on the back of Amity’s neck stand on end. “Now you can come and go as you please, even in the air. There is no lock in this house you can not open, but... I ask you to leave the room between ours alone.”

Amity nodded seriously; she did not want to break Lilith’s trust.

“Now... what do you say to a game of Opsideo before bed?”

“Really?” Amity’s eyebrows rose, then she smiled.

“Certainly. As long as you promise me not to hold back.” Lilith’s nose wrinkled as she returned the smile.

Amity shook her head, her cheeks going rosy.

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

6

At breakfast the next morning, Lilith inspected Amity’s injuries critically.

“How are you feeling, my dear?”

“Better than yesterday,” Amity said as she opened and closed the fingers of her bandaged arm.

Lilith lifted her hand to Amity’s chin and Amity turned her cheek toward her mentor. The bruise had reached the brown and green stage, far along in the healing process thanks to the elderton salve, but nevertheless unsightly.

“I’m sure it will go away completely in a day or two,” Lilith said in a sad tone. “If you stay home from school today, I’m sure people would just assume you’re still under the weather.”

Amity’s eyebrows rose. Staying home... That meant she would be alone in this big house. The thought of that was a little unsettling.

“I don’t want to miss any more lessons,” Amity said truthfully. “I must have a mountain of homework to catch up on by now. And the test.”

Lilith gave her a concerned little smile and stroked her uninjured cheek with the back of two fingers.

“Your well-being comes first, little one…”

“It doesn’t hurt, the bruise I mean. And I’m right handed, so I can take notes.” Amity looked up at Lilith hopefully. “If I put some concealer on, nobody would know... If they ask about my arm I can just say I... fell, or something.”

Lilith’s eyes darkened a moment and her nostrils flared. The image of Amity returning after the confrontation with her father the night before last bolted across Lilith’s mind, like an angry beast bursting from its pen. After it came others, much older, fuzzier memories. And the somehow shared worldly pain of how that phrasing had been used to hide countless moments of abuse and the knowledge that it would be used again. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take a breath. And then another. Then she felt the warmth of Amity’s hand on the back of her own.

“I can stay home...”

Lilith opened her eyes at the sound of Amity’s voice. There was a careful, sad tone to it that made Lilith’s heart clench with cold. The stampede of memories vanished as quickly as it had come.

She’s trying to appease me, she thought. And she said ‘home’. She quickly shook her head and took Amity’s hand.

“No — if you feel ready to go to school, you should go to school.” Lilith moved her head to catch Amity’s fallen gaze. “Under one condition.”

Amity looked up.

“Have a cup of tea with me after lunch?”

Amity blinked at Lilith, then nodded slowly and smiled.

“I’d... like that...”

7

Principal Bump looked up as Lilith entered his office.

“Ah, Miss Clawthorne, welcome back. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?”

“Good morning, Principal Bump. My deepest apologies for disappearing so abruptly.”

Principal Bump held up a hand. “There is no need to apologize. I heard you apprehended a notorious criminal. Well done.”

“Thank you. I come bearing... other good news.”

“Oh?”

“... I am going to make Amity Blight my apprentice. Officially.”

“That’s... a little old fashioned?” Principal Bump’s eyebrows rose.

“Yes, it’s not exactly modern, but... Both of us want this. I have every confidence in her abilities. I believe she will be of great service to the Emperor, as my successor. And...” Lilith took a breath. “Although it was not the deciding factor, it did hasten my asking — the current state of the Blight household is no longer optimal -” in her mind she added ‘and I doubt it ever was’. “- If not downright unsafe, for Miss Blight.”

“’Unsafe’?” Principal Bump’s brows furrowed deeply and the concern and his gaze intensified.

“She has been staying with me or Edalyn every night since the cafeteria incident.”

“... I didn’t know you were back on speaking terms with your sister? Her student is going to start learning here next semester.”

“Yes, I am aware. Luz is... a caring, delightful and clever girl, wise beyond her years. After the incident in the cafeteria, Miss Blight felt it unwise to return home. And I wholeheartedly agree. As does Edalyn. And Luz.”

Principal Bump gave her a faint smile, then let out a sigh.

“Let’s... put the titles down for a minute, Lilith.” He slowly lowered one hand to his desk.

Lilith was taken aback. “... Alright,” she said a tad uncertainly, then added: “Hieronymus.”

“There have been… too many times, when I’ve felt there needs to be an intervention of some kind. I’m not just speaking about the Blight situation. I’m not always able to intervene, or intervene to a degree I personally feel is appropriate, or just. When I can help, I do. Sometimes, I have to step in. But you know as well as I do that families differ wildly, as do values, customs and practices. It’s a very fine line to tread, and in my experience, even if you follow all the rules, someone is still going to have a problem. This choice will have consequences, for you and for Miss Blight. Are you prepared to face them?” Principal Bump gave Lilith a penetrating gaze and lifted his fingers, waiting for her to respond.

Lilith blinked in astonishment.

“Yes,” she said, then sat up straighter and gave Principal Bump a sincere look, and continued; “Come what may.”

“Good,” Principal Bump tapped the table with his fingers and gave Lilith a smile, then sat back in his chair, evidently pleased with her response. “Miss Blight has placed her trust in a very worthy candidate.”

“That’s... very kind of you to say...”

“But — I would refrain from mentioning this to anyone else until... you’ve officially become Miss Blight’s Mentor. And while you’re in school, until it is official, the same rules apply for conduct.”

Lilith smiled a little uncomfortably and felt her cheeks bloom with heat. Public displays of affection were not exactly her strong suit, so no worries there.

“Hieronymus... Would you... officiate the ceremony? It is planned for Amity’s birthday, in a few weeks. It will be a small and private affair.”

“You honor me,” Principal Bump gave a little nod and a pleased smile. “I accept.”

“Thank you,” Lilith bowed her head a moment, then looked back up at the principal. “I will send over the appropriate paperwork and a proper invitation post haste.”

“Mm.” Principal Bump hummed approvingly. “If I might make a small request,” he leaned forward. “Those salmon puffs you have at the Ostegar celebration every year...”

“I took the precaution of ordering them already,” Lilith said with an amused look.

“Ah. Very good.” Principal Bump smiled again and sat back in his chair. “Was there anything else you wanted to bring to my attention this morning?”

“Yes… Is it too late to turn in my vacation application for the summer?”

Principal Bump’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead now. “Um... no.” A pleased expression replaced the look of surprise on his face. “Going anywhere nice?”

“My grandmother’s lake house.”

“Ah, by Gremicolo lake if I’m not mistaken. I hear the pike fishing there is second to none. I wish you a pleasant stay.”

“Thank you.”

“Give the form to Miss Jormungar before the end of the week and I’ll put you in. I must say... It pleases me to hear you’re planning to take some time off,” he gave Lilith a warm look. “All work and no play, as they say.”

“I am looking forward to it. If our vacations coincide, you, Merkurious and your daughters should come over for a spot of fishing. Edalyn does make an excellent dish with wine sauce and little onion things — the name has slipped my mind at the moment.”

“Pike à la Umbrielle,” Principal Bump sounded impressed. “Well. We are just going to have to make sure they coincide then. Merkurious and Morgana, my youngest, love to fish.”

“Excellent. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Wonderful. Have a great first day back, Miss Clawthorne.”

“Thank you, Principal Bump. I’ll see myself out.”

8

“Are you sure about this?” Luz asked with a little giggle.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Amity nodded. She wasn’t able to keep a smile off her face either. “What do the instructions say?”

“’Apply mixture one (red bottle) to damp hair, starting with the roots. Let it sit for thirty minutes, then rinse thoroughly with warm water and apply mixture two (blue bottle) to wet hair. Let it sit for five minutes, then rinse thoroughly with warm water.’ Okay, so not very complicated then.” Luz grinned. “You ready?”

Amity nodded excitedly and removed her hair tie.

Eda and King could hear giggles and the occasional squealing scream coming from upstairs.

“What are they doing?” King wondered aloud.

“No idea,” Eda chuckled. She had a pretty good idea. The girls must have thought themselves very sneaky, scuttling off into town earlier in the afternoon. But Eda was a master of sneaky stuff. She reached out and caught King as he jumped off the table. “Opp-opp-opp, you’re staying down here, mister.”

“But I wanna see!”

“Let them have their fun, King. They’ll be down in say... half an hour or so. Give or take. Finish your drawing? Those guts look very life-like.” She held up a purple crayon and waved it enticingly.

9

The staff meeting ran longer than Lilith expected. When she finally landed in front of the Owl House, it was past nine in the evening. She felt ready for bed as it were and wondered if she should ask Eda to just put out the camp bed again. The smell of hot cocoa wafted out through an open window.

“Took you long enough,” Eda said as she let Lilith into the house. “The kiddos have a surprise for you.”

“Oh? And good evening.” Lilith looked over at them, sitting on the couch. Perhaps the surprise was some sort of pastry, she hoped. She noticed Amity had her hood up.

“Eee!” Luz squeaked, bouncing in her seat. When Amity raised her hands, Luz waved her own and said: “Tadaa!”

The hood fell, revealing Amity’s hair. Her fully brown hair.

Lilith smiled and tutted as she turned her head to the side, then strode forward and stroked Amity’s hair with both hands, ending up holding her by her blushing cheeks.

“You look lovely, my dear,” Lilith said softly, then bent down to kiss her forehead, just by the hairline. 

She stroked the girl’s hair again, her hands ending up on her shoulders this time.

“It’s so soft... and it smells wonderful.”

Amity smiled shyly up at Lilith.

“You really like it?”

“Of course I do, little one,” Lilith wrinkled her nose as she smiled and squeezed Amity’s shoulders. “Oh, I have the perfect earrings to go with your hair for the ceremony! What do you say, sister? Aunt Tilda’s topaz and silver studs?”

“Would go great with her eyes, yeah,” Eda said with an approving frown.

“I have some good news of my own to share,” Lilith smiled at all of them, then focused on Amity and stroked her hair a third time. “Principal Bump said yes. He will officiate.”

“Ugh,” Eda rolled her eyes in mock disgust. “If you must.”

“This is so exciting!” Luz squeaked, twisting on the spot. “Who else is going to be there?”

“I was thinking of inviting Morton,” Lilith said, looking at Eda for a moment, then back to Amity. “Would that be alright?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Amity smiled, then took a step forward and hugged Lilith.

“And... I’ve cleared it with the school — my vacation starts the day after the last day of term.” Lilith exchanged a look with Eda, and Eda grinned widely.

“Nana’s house?”

“Nana’s house.” Lilith looked at Luz, then down at Amity. “We were thinking of going to our grandmother’s house by lake Gremicolo. For a few weeks right after term ends. Does that sound like something you would like to do?”

“Uh, yeah?!” Luz said, beaming with even more excitement. “Lake? Does that mean we can go swimming?!”

“Yeah, sure, kid. I’ll show you where the best diving spots are, hm?”

“I’m gonna need to get a bathing suit!”

Amity stiffened — not so much so that Eda or Luz noticed, but Lilith certainly did. Lilith gave Amity’s quickly reddening face a reassuring smile that seemed to say ‘don’t worry, I’m not going to say anything’.

“I want to get a bathing suit, too!” King piped up.

“King, you’re already naked,” Eda pointed out.

“I can’t go in the water with my collar on, it’ll rust! I feel really naked without that.”

“You want a bathing scarf?” Eda chuckled and picked King up, putting him on her hip.

“Yeah, a nice one.” King nodded primly.

“We’ll see what we can do. Lily, there’s stew on the stove if you want some. Probably cold by now.”

“Thank you, that would be wonderful.” Lilith let out a breath, then looked down at Amity and stroked her hair a fourth time. “So, so lovely. How does it feel?”

“Feels... good,” Amity said with pink cheeks.

10

Amity’s birthday was fast approaching and Lilith worked hard to make sure everything was ready in time for the ceremony. She went to bed each night feeling pretty exhausted, but content. Even though there was much more for her to do each day, her heart felt light. The little things that always seemed to get her down, somehow mattered less. Being able to take Vosker’s on a regular basis helped, too, but Lilith attributed the rise in her spirits to Amity’s continued presence. And Eda’s and Luz’s, as well, absolutely, and to a lesser extent, King — but Amity... Lilith just treasured their time together more and more. Whenever there was a gentle knock at her study door, she looked up with a smile. Whenever she heard footsteps or giggles from above, some tension left her shoulders.

It was amazing how quickly life could change. School looked different to Amity somehow. The people around her seemed... younger. Smaller. Things that would usually bother her or even make her snap, just... didn’t. It was like she had a shield against it now, at least some of the time. Ed and Em left her alone, but they kept looking at her. Every time she saw them, she touched the Clawthorne crest pin under her cowl, and it made her feel better. She knew she would never have to go back to that house. Em had stared at Amity’s hair after she changed it, but had quickly been pulled away by Ed. Other people had commented about her hair, which she had been worried about, but... it had all been positive? Or neutral, even. It wasn’t a big deal to her classmates. After all, other people changed their hair all the time.

Luz spent a lot of time trying to think of what to get Amity for her birthday and her ‘Apprenticing party’, as she liked to call it in her head. She wanted to get her something nice! Something that said... something. She wanted it to say a lot of things. She came up with an idea and ran it by Eda who thought it was ‘hella cute’.

Lilith finally sent a letter to Stonewood and received a reply the same day. She and Luz now had an appointment each in about two weeks time. She was both relieved and worried about finally getting around to it. She tried to think of it as any other healer visit whenever it popped into her mind, acknowledging the fact that she was apprehensive about it and then shooing it away so that she could focus on more pressing things.

The appointment with Morton went well. Lilith actually asked Eda to come pick her up and take her home afterward. Eda agreed and brought some pie with her for Lilith and Amity’s dinner, and one for Morton, who was incredibly touched by the gesture. And by the invitation to the ceremony.

The twins appeared on time and with food for both their punishments that weekend. No new bruises. They didn’t say much to either Clawthorne sister, which both Eda and Lilith were perfectly fine with. Amity and Luz spent that Saturday in the library and all of Sunday back at the Owl House.

11

Amity’s last class on the Monday of her birthday week was advanced abomination management. The task at hand proved too much to handle for one of her classmate’s flimsy creations; it melted and splashed everywhere. Amity almost got out of the way in time. Almost. She hurried to the closest bathroom and took off her cowl to wash it in the sink. It was supposed to wash right out, but it did not. She sighed in resignation.

“You didn’t put in the correct amount of essence of nightshade, did you, Scragatha?” she muttered angrily. “Such a basic mistake...”

And now I’m stuck with the sloppy mess, just because she couldn’t be bothered to read the instructions properly, she thought as she scrubbed with her fingers. What if I can’t get the stain out? She paused, her eyes catching on the Clawthorne pin in the mirror. I can’t just keep borrowing things from Luz and Lilith. This is the only cowl I have, all my spare... anythings is at... Their house. An image of Alador and Odalia flashed across Amity’s mind. She shook her head.

“It has to come out,” she whispered in a tight voice.

The uniform she was wearing was her only one, too. She could buy a new one from the school, but with what money? She had left Blight manor weeks ago — and it wasn’t as if that had been planned, so she hadn’t packed, well, anything. Sure Em and Odalia had brought her some stuff but it hadn’t been... her choice of stuff. Lilith, Eda, Luz — she couldn’t ask them for actual money? She had just about enough cash to get herself a cafeteria lunch. She knew she had some sort of account at the Bonesborough bank, but she didn’t know if or how she could access it. Besides, even thinking about using money from... the Blights made her feel very uncomfortable, but at the same time — she didn’t want to be a bother to anyone, in any way. Lilith had told her several times that she wasn’t a bother, and she really, really wanted to believe it, and sometimes she did, like, entirely, but... the worry always came creeping back. Sometimes it stayed away for a relatively long time, the fact that it wasn’t constant was a change in her mind’s internal... soundtrack? Melody? That Amity deeply appreciated, but now the worry was here and it was real and she was just... so scared. Again. Of losing everything. Again.

“Mittens?”

Amity inhaled sharply and froze, her body wanted to simultaneously bolt and hide. Her eyes darted to the face that had appeared in the mirror. It was Em. Then she noticed the terrified expression on her own face and quickly tried to change it into an expression of nonchalance, while trying to gather her wits about her. Maybe Em hadn’t noticed since she was quite far away. Amity hated that she hadn’t heard anyone come in, she hated that she had her back toward Em right now and she knew that if she turned around, if she let Em see how unsettled she was, Em was going to use it against her. She realized she had stopped scrubbing with her fingers and forced herself to get back to it. She saw movement in the mirror and looked up at Em’s reflection. The look on her face made Amity freeze again. It had been a while since she had seen Em this close. She looked... thinner somehow. Gaunt, even. There were bags under her eyes. Even her skill with illusions and makeup couldn’t hide them.

“What?” Amity said, feeling cornered.

“Can we talk?” Em looked almost desperate. “I — I really like your hair like that!”

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Amity found herself saying. She was surprised at how steady her voice sounded, when she was feeling so unbalanced in her mind. Outright stating that she didn’t want to talk to Em made her stomach feel tight.

“Can’t you — when are you coming home?”

Not if, but when. Their eyes met in the mirror again a moment, then Amity had to look away. She couldn’t look at her sister and say the next words. So she looked down at her hands again, trying to push away the guilt that was rising like water from a clogged drain; unwanted, overwhelming and utterly, utterly disgusting.

“I’m not.”

“But I did — I’m doing the punishments, I did what you asked — when are you going to forgive me? I-it’s your birthday soon — mom’s got the party invitations ready to send out, and you already missed the Gerdingzert party -”

The family wound in Amity’s chest ripped open. There was an internal somehow heavy plummeting feeling that made everything go blurry for a moment.

“Oh, I see,” Amity said, surprised at the fierce lash of bitter disappointment that whipped across the back of her tongue. Her fingers felt numb now. But the stain on her cowl was finally coming out. It was something to focus on while the hole where her heart used to be filled with some sort of embarrassing, shame-laced anger. “It’s really starting to look bad to people, isn’t it?”

There was a look of confused hope on Em’s face now.

“So you understand!” she blurted as she took a quick step forward, her hopeful expression flowing into one of relief; it lit her face up from the inside.

“Oh I understand.” Amity’s voice was cold. The faucet squeaked with an air of finality as she turned it off. She wanted to end this conversation as quickly as she had stopped the flow of water. “I understand completely,” she said with a calm she certainly did not feel. “I don’t think any of you do.” She wrung out the cowl with enough force to make the fabric creak as she spoke, then shook it out and put it on, not caring that it was still wet. She kept her eyes on herself in the mirror as she adjusted her hair and straightened her top student badge with grim determination. The moment she was done, she turned around.

The look of confusion and despair on Em’s face was so unexpected, it almost cracked Amity’s composure. Em’s eyes darted back and forth between Amity’s, as if she was trying to spot the joke; see the first hint of a smile on Amity’s face.

“Please, Mittens - ” Em began.

The nickname spurred Amity’s body into motion. She half expected for Em to try to grab her as she marched past, so she was relieved to reach the door to the corridor, unimpeded. Just as the door swung shut behind her, she heard a sound that made her stop in her tracks. It wasn’t a word. It was hardly a sound at all, but in the silence of that brief moment, it was as loud as a clap of thunder. It was the sound of Em drawing in a halted breath through her nose. Amity remembered whenever Em got hurt, which wasn’t often, she would breathe like that. Once, after Em had fallen from a tree Amity wasn’t big enough to climb, Em had said;

“I’m fine, don’t bother mom and dad, they’re working.”

And she had breathed like that, then smiled to show she was okay, but there had been gravel stuck in her bloody knee.

The memory dragged a confusing mix of emotions from… somewhere. It left her feeling lightheaded and as if her body was made of lead at the same time. She went back to class in a daze. Thankfully, the class had been tasked with reading for the remainder of the afternoon. Amity turned the pages at random intervals, pretending to read, but not taking in a single word. Lilith had been right; she was not ready to be back at school.

12

“Emira! In here. Immediately.”

Both Ed and Em halted at the sound of their mother’s voice. Em looked at Ed, but he didn’t meet her gaze. Instead he moved forward in silence, heading toward the stairs leading up to their rooms. Em looked after him, feeling abandoned. She swallowed a few times, then squared her shoulders and walked forward.

“Yes, mom?” she said politely as she entered the study.

“Hand deliver these,” Odalia flicked her hand and a large basket soared into Em’s arms. “Apologize and tell them there was a problem at the printers.”

Em’s heart sank as she looked down at the beautiful envelopes. She had been walking around in a numb daze ever since Amity had said she wasn’t coming home, so the sensation was almost welcome. She didn’t know how to tell her mom what Amity had said.

Odalia looked up at the absence of retreating footsteps.

“We’re already late with the invitations, sweetling,” she said in a voice dripping with disappointment and a sprinkling of threat. “It’s the very least you could do.”

Em swallowed. She knew she was on ice so thin a breath would melt it.

“She... she said she’s not coming home,” Em whispered, talking down to the pink envelopes. Their edges were adorned with fine black lace.

“What was that?!” Odalia demanded.

Em winced and felt a thrill of fear that quickly melted into the ever increasing background noise in her mind.

“I — I saw her today. I begged her to come home, mom, I promise,” Em swallowed the end of the last word.

“You saw her? You talked to her?” Odalia inquired, rising from her chair, eyes boring into Em’s.

Em nodded, hoping her words would somehow be enough, but knew they wouldn’t be.

Odalia stepped around her desk without a word and whipped the satin covering off her crystal ball, then lifted it off its ornate, cushioned stand.

“Hands out.”

Em swallowed before putting the basket down. She didn’t like this part. She really didn’t like it. Apart from being heavy to hold, the crystal ball was also so cold to the touch. And… she didn’t always want to share her memories with her mom.

Odalia shoved the orb into Em’s hesitant hands, then drew a finger over the glassy surface.

“Show me,” she commanded.

13

“Hey kids,” Eda said as she came downstairs.

Amity and Luz looked up and saw Sapphire sitting on Eda’s wrist. Amity’s eyes widened with sudden fear.

“It’s alright,” Eda said and held up a calming hand. “Lily’s fine, she’s just going to be working late and wondered if you wanted to spend the night here, or if you wanted me to take you home anyway. I don’t know how late she’ll be and she said she’ll be going home afterward because she doesn’t want to wake us, so I’m guessing that means after bedtime. And it’s a school night and you need your sleep, growing kids yada-yada.”

Amity let out a breath.

“Oh please stay over!” Luz said excitedly.

“Think about it for a bit,” Eda chuckled, then let Sapphire down onto the kitchen table and removed the cutlery laid out for Lilith. The raven hopped over to Amity and bowed their head a moment, making a low, cooing sound of greeting.

“Hello, Sapphire,” Amity said softly. The lash of fear when Eda had come downstairs with the palisman on her wrist had made Amity’s heart rate spike. She was calming down now, but she couldn’t shake the feeling of disappointment of not being able to see Lilith before bed. She knew instantly that she didn’t want to be in the big house all by herself and go to bed all by herself, she would much rather stay here, with Luz. She was worried about the coming night. The encounter with Em had shaken her. It had made her feel all sorts of things that were confusing and they had kind of become a... rubber band ball inside her chest. Bouncing and tangled and tense. She’d had the vague hope that maybe she could... talk to Lilith about it? Before bed? The risk for nightmares seemed pretty high, so at least she could be like... forewarned? Or something. And there was also the whole thing with her not being ready to be back at school Lilith had mentioned last week. Well, she hadn’t said Amity wasn’t ready, but... she couldn’t shake the feeling, nonetheless. If she was really ready to be back at school, she should be able to handle talking to them, right? And she obviously wasn’t, so... Should she even go to school tomorrow? Maybe she would have to transfer schools? She forced that thought away — it was too much to think about right now. She had told Luz that she had run into Em in the bathroom while they walked to the Owl House, but not what had been said. Or more accurately, what had not been said. And Luz seemed to have understood not to dig around in it. How did Luz just... understand other people’s feelings like that?

14

“Does Amity seem a little... I don’t know, extra out of it to you, today?” Eda asked Luz after dinner, when Amity had gone up to use the bathroom.

“I think... she ran into her sister at school,” Luz said back in a careful tone of voice. “And I guess she’s... processing that.”

“Oh dang. Did something happen?”

“I’m not sure? She... didn’t go into details, really. I told her I’m here if she wants to talk about it and... that seemed to like... make her feel a bit better?” Luz’s shoulders drew up and she held out her hands uncertainly. “I um... didn’t want to push her. She said she knows she can talk to me, so I guess... she’ll do that when she’s done... thinking about it? Or something?”

Eda gave Luz a faint, crooked grin. “Look at you, not trying to fix it.”

Luz’s shoulders relaxed as she looked up at Eda.

“Come here, you,” Eda chuckled, then tousled Luz’s hair affectionately. “Proud of you, kid.”

15

Amity pretended to fall asleep. It was soothing to listen to Luz’s slow breaths and other little sleeping sounds. It was nice to not sleep alone. Or, lay in the darkness not alone, at least. Her eyes fell on the corner where she usually put her bag; a few weeks ago, her gym bag had stood there, mocking her with its contents. Another night when she couldn’t fall asleep. Because of Ed and Em. But this time there was nothing to burn.

Burn...

The hairs on her arms stood on end as she remembered standing close to the fire. How the heat had been too intense but how that had somehow... helped. Maybe if she was quiet and didn’t make it particularly big this time, she could go outside and start a fire in the fire pit? At least it would be doing something. It wouldn’t just be lying in the dark, feeling the rubber band ball sitting heavy and somehow jittery in her chest. If that didn’t work, then... she’d try to talk to Luz about it, in the morning. She didn’t want to wake her up now.

She got up quietly and crept downstairs. She was so focused on avoiding the creakiest floorboards that she didn’t realize the light was still on in the kitchen.

“Thought I might be seeing you tonight,” Eda said with a faintly self-satisfied chuckle as Amity stepped into the room.

Amity stopped, trying to think of an excuse as to why she had come downstairs when she was supposed to be asleep.

“There are logs by the door. You can have two,” Eda said it in a very casual way and jerked her thumb at the door. Amity’s chest went tight. “Just don’t leave the backyard.”

“You’re... not gonna stop me?” she asked warily.

“We all deal with rough days differently,” Eda said with a shrug. “So if sitting by the fire works for you... then go sit by the fire for a while. And then back to bed. It is a school night after all.”

Amity just stared at Eda, lost for words.

“Go on, kid, do your thing. I’ll be up for a while, I’ve got orders to fill.” Eda gave Amity a faint smile as she nodded in the direction of the door, then she picked up a bunch of herbs and started chopping them. As if... this wasn’t a big deal at all.

Completely stunned, Amity sidled over to the door, picked up two logs with slightly tingling fingers, then slipped outside. Soon she had the first log lit and she stood and watched the flame go from pink to orange as it grew. She felt the heat bloom outward and stepped closer. The exposed skin of her hands and face began to get uncomfortably hot. She rolled up her sleeves and closed her eyes as the unpleasant sensation seamlessly transitioned into some kind of... good badness. It hurt in a way that helped; the rubber band ball stilled. It was like... she was burning it away and unwinding it slowly at the same time. Almost like running her hand over Lilith’s wall, but different, more intense. More distracting. More effective. She experimented a bit, moving around until she found the perfect spot.

A controlled burn.

Her cheeks... her forearms... the front of her thighs and knees... they tingled strangely. She was balancing on the very edge between not exactly pleasure and not exactly pain and everything else went... quiet. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply for the first time since this afternoon. The silence was so new, but it was comfortable too.

And then... it faded. She opened her eyes and blinked in surprise at the remnants of the first log. She bent to pick up the second one, anxious to get the strange feeling back — or maybe the lack of feeling back? Slowly, the flames grew again and she found the perfect spot. Somehow, it was even more intense this time around.

“Hey, kid,” Eda said from behind her what felt like a fraction of a second later. “Mind if I join you?”

Amity went rigid and quickly took a guilty step back. It felt like someone had yanked the carpet out from under her feet and shoved her in the chest at the same time.

“Brought you some warm milk.”

“Oh, um... Thanks,” Amity said faintly. She tried to gather her very scattered thoughts; she had not expected to be interrupted. And some part of her was very angry at Eda for the interruption. She wasn’t... she hadn’t been... done. And just like last time Amity had been caught out here, she felt unsure if she was in trouble or not, even though Eda had given her blessing for Amity to be out here.

Eda sat down with a tired grunt and clicking knees. Amity took a seat as well, trying to not appear... weird. It felt almost chilly this far away from the fire. And most of the second log had burned away now. Somehow.

How long have I been out here? Amity wondered, feeling sort of numbly unsettled about that, on top of everything else. Her arms felt hot, though. And raw and tender and... tingly. She glanced down at them. Her skin... shouldn’t look… shiny like that... A mostly unpleasant chill crept up her spine.

What... did I just do?

“It’s a nice night,” Eda said with a sigh, then leaned back on her hands and looked up at the sky. “Always been a bit of a night owl myself, pun not intended. Things are more... exciting at night, ya know?”

“Uh, sure,” Amity responded guardedly.

Eda looked over at her and Amity tensed even more.

“I know I’m not Lily, but if you wanna talk about whatever happened in school today, then,” Eda paused to shrug. “We could do that.”

Amity blinked in surprise. She had almost forgotten why she had gone out here. She hesitated, incredibly thankful Eda hadn’t noticed something was off, or at least not act as if she had noticed something was off. It was a relief as well to shift her focus to something else, even if that something else was the thing that had happened at school. Eda’s offer was very kind.

“I... don’t think I’m ready to be back at school,” she said eventually, her voice quiet and tense.

“Oh yeah?” Eda’s eyebrows rose. She hadn’t expected that. 

“Lilith... wanted me to stay home, last week,” Amity said in a slightly louder voice. Eda’s mouth curled up at the corner a moment. “But I wanted to get back to it, I’ve... already missed so much. She let me decide for myself, but I think she was right. I’m not ready.”

“It’s alright not to be,” Eda said with a one sided shrug and a slight shake of the head. “A lot has happened... What changed your mind?”

Amity took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment.

“I ran into Em. Or, she ran into me. In the bathroom. It was during a class, so she must be cutting again. I got splashed by abomination goo in my lesson and went to wash up, then she was just... there. Behind me. I didn’t hear her come in.”

“Uh-huh,” Eda nodded for the kid to go on.

“She just doesn’t... get it,” Amity said with a sigh. It was easier to go on now that she had actually started talking. “She wants me to come home. They’re going to send out my birthday party invitations soon. They should already have been sent out.”

“Ah,” Eda nodded knowingly.

“They don’t want me... they just want... her,” Amity gestured vaguely to nothing at all. “Mittens. The good girl. Who never says anything, who just... performs the role of the perfect daughter.”

Eda scoffed and rolled her eyes.

“Why does it always surprise me so much that she doesn’t understand?” Amity said, mostly to herself, then she shook her head. “Afterward, I went back to my lesson and I just... couldn’t concentrate.”

“Well, of course you couldn’t,” Eda said it as if it was obvious. Amity looked over at her with furrowed brows. “Who wants to hear evidence that people don’t know you at all? Honestly.” Eda shook her head, her expression frustrated. She tutted and sighed, then her face softened. “I saw how Odalia treated you, back at Morton’s house.” She sounded serious now. “She wanted you to go back with them for the look of the thing, right? Upholding the family’s honor blah-di-blah.”

“Yeah,” Amity said quietly, nodding in slight astonishment. Then she remembered how Eda had stopped her m — Odalia — from hugging her when she had just arrived at Morton’s house. And how she had commented on how uninviting Odalia’s command to go with her had been when Odalia was about to leave. Eda understood. Amity’s shoulders dropped several notches.

“She was always so obsessed with the appearance of things,” Eda muttered in a tired voice.

“You... know her?”

“We attended Hexside at the same time. Never liked her. She was always trying to push me and Lily around. She tried to push everyone around, basically. She knew everyone’s business.”

“Well, she is in the oracle coven.”

“Yeah,” Eda said with a disapproving frown. “Bunch of gossip hungry eavesdroppers, the lot of ‘em.”

Amity let out a resigned huff of amusement.

“I don’t know how many times she told on me to good ol’ Bumpy,” Eda said with a grim smile. “Think I owe maybe seven-ish percent of my detentions to her and her cronies. Oof. What a piece of work.” Eda shook her head, then glanced at Amity. “Did your sister say something else?”

“She... asked when I was going to forgive her,” Amity said quietly.

“Hah!” Eda scoffed, then when Amity didn’t respond, she said; “No wait, really?”

Amity nodded and Eda tutted disapprovingly.

“You never have to forgive anyone, you know. Especially not when they demand it. That’s just them wanting to be let off the hook for whatever they did to you. They want you to forgive them for their sake, not yours. Ugh,” Eda closed her eyes and shook her head again. “Forgiveness is a gift. And yet somehow people try to steal it. I think it’s your sister who’s not ready to be back at school.”

Amity blinked at Eda in surprise. “What?”

“She’s supposed to leave you alone. They both are.”

“But... how could she have known I would be in the bathroom in the middle of class?”

“Don’t think she knew that, but — she saw you first. She made the decision to stay there when she could have just turned around and found another bathroom. She chose to talk to you.”

“I... hadn’t thought of it like that,” Amity said slowly. She glanced at the fire pit, then down at her arms. She was starting to feel really silly about what she had done earlier. Eda was talking about things so casually, so maybe Amity had made a bigger deal about it than it actually was? Guilt and embarrassment settled in her stomach like a sullen toad burrowing into the bottom of a murky lake.

Eda saw Amity’s expression change. But she had expected it to go in the other direction. She followed Amity’s gaze down and her eyes focused on the kid’s lower left arm.

“What did you say you were splashed with?” Eda asked with a frown. To her surprise, Amity immediately covered her arms with her hands; she knocked the cup of milk over, then tried to hide a grimace of obvious pain. Eda’s eyebrows rose; something certainly wasn’t right here. An old worry appeared from some far off corner of her mind. “Let me see,” she said calmly.

Amity’s eyes darted everywhere, trying to think of what to do, to come up with an excuse, but her mind was... stuck. With her heart pounding hard in her chest, she let go of her left arm and held it out. It tingled and stung as her disconcertingly sticky fingers parted company with it. She turned her head away, feeling ashamed, exposed and so very confused.

Eda looked down at the arm, then glanced at the fire. The kid had stood very close to it when Eda went out into the backyard. And she had stepped away from it quickly when she realized Eda was there. Eda had thought she had just startled the kid, but… some of those were second degree burns.

“Hey, look at me,” Eda said in a calm, serious tone. Amity swallowed hard, then managed to look at Eda’s shoulder. “Just wanna make this super clear; you are not in trouble here, alright?”

Amity gave Eda’s shoulder a disbelieving look, then looked away again.

“Have you... Has this happened before?”

Amity shook her head, sniffing. Her expression grew more and more distressed. Eda sat back and let out a long breath and tried to gather her thoughts.

“I... knew someone,” she began slowly. “Long ago. When they were very upset, they... used to scratch themselves. Because... it put the... hurt or whatever on the outside. It... calmed them down, made them feel better. More in control. It’s — ”

“Are you going to tell Lilith?” Amity interrupted in a tight voice. Her hand flew to cover her mouth and she closed her eyes, grimacing behind her fingers.

“I think... it’d be better if you did, kiddo,” Eda gave Amity a serious look. “But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I can see why this happened — you have been and still are under a lot of stress, sometimes that takes a while to… come up, or process or whatever, but... this isn’t the best way to deal with it.”

Amity shook her head slowly. It was so confusing. And Eda’s reaction to it was also confusing — wasn’t she supposed to be mad?

“My... friend found other outlets. They wrote things... Poetry, mostly, I think. And they talked to me, sometimes, even though that was... hard for them to do. Maybe you could... draw?”

“D-draw?” Amity asked in surprise.

“Yeah, draw.”

“Draw... what?”

“Whatever’s going on in your mind.”

“But you’re not supposed to... draw... bad things.”

“Says who?” Eda asked with a faint grin, for now choosing to ignore Amity having ‘bad things’ going on in her mind.

“But who’d want to see that?”

Eda shrugged. “Who says you have to show it to anyone?”

“... But what if someone finds them?”

For a heart wrenching moment, she was back in the library. She saw her siblings and Luz holding her diary. The familiar plummeting feeling appeared in her stomach. But then it went deeper. Suddenly she felt as if everything was fraying away from her. She remembered before she had made her little sanctuary in the library. How she’d had nowhere to just be, or to escape into books and stories safely from, without fear of being interrupted or found. It was her safe space, without parents, siblings, school or so called friends. It was a relief to put words to her feelings, even if it was just ‘Dear diary, today this happened’ kinds of things. Sometimes she wrote things, or drew things and didn’t find out until much later what she was trying to say. Like a part of her that couldn’t — no, that hadn’t been allowed to speak for so long, it didn’t know how to use words. Or maybe Amity just didn’t know the right words. That part of her felt somehow... like it was underneath the rubber band ball, even underneath the dark snake that twisted in her guts sometimes. Something at the back of her mind that just was. And it affected things. Like a lead weight on a stretched out rubber sheet, it distorted the space around it. The family wound was maybe another lead weight, but the family wound was something she was actually aware of. And it had a name, of sorts.

She hadn’t been back to her hideout in the library since Ed and Em had found it. She remembered the smell of the place; old leather, dust and bees’ wax from the candles in the lanterns. Before, that smell had melted away the tension in her shoulders. Now, it just made her feel… untethered. It had hurt so much, so much more than she could have imagined, to have to burn her diary. And she had resigned herself to never keep another one after that. It was like she had closed that wordless part of herself off. Maybe that was for the best, in the end. But now the unstructured, wordless... thoughts? Just... bounced around in her mind with no way out. And they were getting heavier with every bounce.

All these feelings and vague thought connections rushed through her in a confusing instant which nevertheless fit neatly into the time it took for Amity to look down at her hands and then back up at Eda.

Eda, being blissfully unaware of the depth of the struggles of the kid in front of her, glanced briefly at the fire, then gave Amity a conspiratorial look.

“You could draw something, then burn the drawing.”

Amity looked at the fire too. That... was an idea she liked. Then she could... get it out of her head and no one would ever be able to tease her about it, or use it against her. Suddenly she felt incredibly relieved. The feeling seemed to come from very deep down inside her. It rose and expanded upward, like a fern slowly unrolling its fronds. The complete opposite of fire and destruction.

“Tell you what,” Eda said with a pleased little grin at the sight of Amity’s face losing a lot of its tension. “If you promise me all you’ll burn out here is wood and paper from now on, you can use the fire pit any time you like. Even in the middle of the night. Two logs max on a school night. And anything you burn, you chop up to replace in the morning. Deal?” She held out a hand.

Amity let out a breath of relief, then accepted the handshake. It was surprising how Eda’s grip could simultaneously be so gentle, yet so firm. The up and down movement was quick, but her calloused palm and fingers barely exerted any pressure on Amity’s. It was just... steadily there.

“Deal,” she said quietly.

“Good,” Eda wrinkled her nose as she smiled. “Now, let’s go…” Eda looked down at Amity’s arms, then back up into her eyes. “Take care of that.” There was gentleness in her expression.

Amity nodded. She felt immensely relieved about Eda’s casual attitude toward all this. She might as well be talking about bandaging up a scraped knee. That was incredibly reassuring. Suddenly she felt so very, very tired.

16

The morning passed in a bit of a blur.

“Leftover griffin salad sandwich,” Eda said as she handed Amity a slightly tattered paper bag.

“Aaand a cookie, for dessert!” Luz chimed in.

“Thanks,” Amity said. She was glad she didn’t have to spend the little money she had left, today.

“Want me to quiz you on our way to school?” Luz asked, lifting King out of his high chair.

“Uh, sure,” Amity nodded.

When Luz waved goodbye to her on the school steps, Amity felt the rubber band ball of worry reform itself in her chest. Not to the size it had been last night, but still.

What is Lilith going to say when I tell her? She wondered for the hundredth time this morning.

Before lunch she told herself she would go see Lilith after she’d had lunch. She went past Lilith’s office three times, lapping the corridor so as not to draw attention to herself. Every time she got close it got hard to breathe. Then the bell rang and she looked up, both relieved and angry at herself for not going through with it.

It’ll be easier to tell her later, less time pressure! So, this is actually good!

From a deep, dark corner of her mind floated a thought Amity tried her best not to hear; You’ve bought yourself a few more hours. Then it’s bye bye pin. Bye bye new life.

The afternoon lessons seemed to pass in the blink of an eye. Amity found herself outside Lilith’s office again, gripping the strap of her book bag tightly with both hands. She had to force herself to let go, allowed herself to touch the pin for what might be the final time, then raised a slightly shaking hand to knock at the door.

“Enter,” Lilith said from inside.

When Amity stepped inside the room, Lilith lit up.

“Oh, hello little one,” she said brightly. “How was last night? I’m sorry I had to work late.”

“Hello,” Amity responded, sounding nervous. “Last night was...”

Lilith’s smile slid off her face and she looked Amity up and down quickly.

“Did something happen?”

Amity didn’t know how to answer.

“Did… you have a nightmare?” Lilith asked, searching the girl’s face for clues.

“No, I... didn’t have a nightmare,” Amity frowned at the floor, surprised that she hadn’t had a bad dream and at not having thought about that at all this morning. She swallowed, took a deep, stuttering breath, then leapt into the unknown.

All the while she was speaking, Amity stood with her hands on her back and her head bowed, eyes almost closed.

When the girl finally fell silent, Lilith realized she hadn’t drawn breath in quite some time. What Amity had told her just now had hit her like an avalanche. Several layers of thought were overlapping in her mind, each screaming to be put into words first.

Amity stood in front of the desk, awaiting judgment.

“Are youh — alright?” Lilith managed to say in two very breathless bursts. She wanted to stand up and go around the desk to hug the girl, but her legs didn’t seem to be working at the moment.

Amity nodded uncertainly.

“Come, sit,” Lilith said, shaking her head to try to clear it. She made some space for Amity to sit on the desk and patted the area distractedly.

Amity hesitated several seconds, then walked over cautiously and sat on the desk, feeling extremely awkward about sitting on Lilith’s workspace. And now she couldn’t really look down at the floor; she could see Lilith’s face — Lilith’s scared face. Her throat and chest somehow managed to become even tighter than they had been a second ago.

Lilith took a breath, then held out her hands, palms up. It took a moment, but then Amity put her hands in Lilith’s. Both of them seemed to relax a tad. Lilith stroked Amity’s knuckles a few times before looking up at her protege.

“Tell me... again, please,” Lilith said in a quiet, calm voice. “I want to make sure I understand.”

Amity swallowed and closed her eyes. It had taken her all day to muster up the courage to say it once — she hadn’t expected to have to say it twice.

Lilith saw the distress mount on Amity’s face.

Help her start, she told herself firmly.

“You... Your sister talked to you? Yesterday?”

Amity nodded.

“In the bathroom? Because you... needed to wash up?”

“My cowl got dirty.”

“Alright. What... did she... h-hurt you?”

“No. We just talked — or — I said I didn’t want to talk to her. But she talked anyway...”

“What did she say?”

“She wanted me to come ‘home’. She wanted me to forgive her. Then I left.”

“And then you couldn’t sleep?”

Amity nodded her head again.

“So... you went... outside?” Lilith said the last word very slowly. “Again?”

Amity swallowed hard.

“I didn’t tell you. I couldn’t sleep the night Ed and Em — with the — n-note, you know? I... burned my clothes, then. Eda caught me at it. She... was really kind to me. We talked, for a little while. She understood why? I said I wanted to forget what had happened, but she said then I’d have to forget that whole day and... then I’d have to forget how... you were there for me. And Luz. And Eda, too. And Principal Bump.”

A negligible amount of tension left Lilith’s chest. Eda had told her about that night, but not in so many words. She hadn’t brought it up with Amity for fear of driving the girl away. It was a relief to hear it from her now, but at the same time it hurt. It hurt to know, to remember how devastatingly humiliated and upset Amity had been that day. How deeply her siblings had violated and betrayed her. And how Lilith hadn’t... been able to protect her.

Amity still had her eyes closed, but she could feel Lilith’s thumbs sweep over her knuckles again.

“When I couldn’t sleep, I remembered how it had helped... To stand close to the fire.”

Now Lilith swallowed, breathed out a breath and squeezed Amity’s hands gently.

“And then,” Lilith had to swallow again and take another breath to force away the mental pictures that arose at the thought of Amity - “Yesterday. Edalyn. Came outside?”

Amity nodded.

“She said we could talk... It... made me feel better.”

Now Lilith let go of another breath and scooted a little closer with her chair.

“Then she saw my arms.” Confusion mingled with the distress on Amity’s face now. “Said I wasn’t in trouble... She’d known someone who did something like that and that it was okay... And that I should be the one to tell you. And that I could draw stuff, instead of... And burn it — the drawings — and that was okay. And she fixed me up. It doesn’t hurt now, it’s just... tender.”

“I’m — I’m sorry I wasn’t there, little one,” Lilith said in a choked voice, squeezing Amity’s hands tighter a moment. “Thank you for t-telling me, I —  “ she faltered, having to take a moment to quell the sudden upsurge of emotion. “I — I know... how confusing it can be to find… comfort in pain...” she shook her head slowly, swallowing several times.

Amity opened her eyes in astonishment.

“You... Eda was talking about you,” Amity said breathlessly.

“Yes,” Lilith said with a sigh. She took another deep breath, then looked up at Amity.

There was such a deep level of understanding in Lilith’s gaze that it made Amity’s heart ache in a way that felt kind of awful and as if a heavy weight had been removed from it at the same time.

“What did it feel like... before you stood too close to the fire?” Lilith asked gently.

Amity thought a moment before answering.

“Like there was a rubber band ball in my chest, always on the move. I couldn’t... relax. Like it would start bouncing around at any moment and that anything could happen.”

Lilith nodded, then said; “And what did it feel like when you were standing too close?”

Amity closed her eyes. “... Calm. It was so… quiet.”

Lilith stroked Amity’s knuckles again. “And what did it feel like, afterward?”

“There was a... break? When I had to add the second log, everything came back then, because... because I wasn’t... done? Then it all became calm again. Then Eda came, so... I’m not sure what it felt like afterward. I wasn’t sure... what I had just done. I just knew that it had helped and that you... shouldn’t do that sort of thing? I didn’t want her to see. But then we talked about what happened in school and it felt... better? And I felt silly about what I had done? Then she saw and I thought she was going to be mad, but she wasn’t. And then we talked about that and she patched me up. Then I went to sleep,” Amity paused, furrowing her brows. “I must have fallen asleep, like, instantly. I don’t remember lying awake. I was so certain I was going to have a nightmare…”

Lilith stroked Amity’s knuckles once more and smiled sadly up at her.

“It used to calm me, too,” she began in a pained voice. “For the longest time... I didn’t know why I did it, why I started or why it... helped,” she shrugged and sighed, then sniffed. She had not anticipated to have to unpack this particular box of memories today and she felt quite off balance, but it was... cathartic to talk about it and she was desperate to try to prevent Amity from feeling… as alone in it as she had felt.

“It... was a distraction. A way to make something intangible physical, real... Show that things had some real effect. It was a release. It was.... intoxicating, sometimes. And it wasn’t a good way to deal with things. But it was the only one I had when it just got… too much. It was a desperate thing.” She shook her head slowly, then she gave Amity another profoundly mournful smile. “I’m glad Edalyn was there for you, just like she was for me.”

How could I ever thank her enough? Lilith wondered, feeling overwhelmed.

Amity let out a shaky breath, then her lower lip twitched up.

“It — it felt good — why did it feel good?” she asked, her eyes darting between Lilith’s, searching for answers. She hadn’t been able to admit that to herself, but it leapt out of her before she could stop it.

“I think that question has a very complicated answer, and... I think it’s a very individual thing, too,” Lilith said in a thoughtful, breathless voice. “It was completely within your control, your choice, but... not really a conscious one. It was a statement, but not one you had to say out loud. It was an escape from… everything. An outlet. A release. An override. You replaced the… rubber band ball with something more powerful. You retook control… And there are endorphins too, I think.”

“Endorphins?”

“It’s a… peptide, if I recall correctly. Your brain makes it when you… exercise and things. It’s a pain and stress reliever; endorphins make you feel good.”

Lilith looked down at her arms, remembering the sting. And somehow missing it.

“Then... afterward... something ‘bad’ had happened. And that... can be a whole lot easier to understand when you can look down and see — or feel — an actual physical wound compared to if there was nothing wrong, so to say. It gives your brain an easy answer to the question: why do I feel so… awful. It’s a coping mechanism. And it’s...” Lilith had to really force herself to say the next words; “Shouldn’t be… something to be ashamed about.” And tried very hard to believe it. “All it is, really, is an indicator that something is… troubling you, greatly.”

Lilith’s words made sense to Amity. It was a lot easier to deal with a sprained ankle or a bruised shoulder than it was to deal with someone calling you names or... closing the door on you. But she did feel ashamed, still. Or as if she should feel ashamed and feeling ashamed for not feeling ashamed enough?

“So many terrifying and horrible things have happened in such a short time. And... you've had to endure more than that, with your family. I understand that it came out this way, this time. But there are other ways of calming down, other ways of processing things,” Lilith said with a little sniff and sigh. She stroked Amity’s knuckles again, even more gently than before.

Amity nodded quickly.

Lilith took a breath and hesitated for a moment.

“Maybe... the reason it doesn’t get to that level for me very often nowadays is because I’ve found ways of letting things out before it gets to that level. I think Edalyn’s idea is wonderful. And...” Lilith let her shoulders down as she took another deep breath. “If you want to talk to me — when you want to talk to me, please do. Even when I’m at work. Even when I’m in pain. Even when I’m asleep. You are not. A bother, little one.”

“But — work?” Amity stated, looking suddenly very uncertain.

Lilith’s eyebrows rose.

“You are much more important than work, my sweet girl,” Lilith gave her a rather serious look, then smiled tearfully and turned her head to the side, as if to say; don’t you know that?

Amity drew in a sharp breath and stared, wide eyed at her mentor. Nobody had ever said she was more important than work before. She couldn’t really understand, it was such a foreign concept to her. To her parents, work had always come first. To be a higher priority than work to someone — that meant... Something. Really. Good. Her brain wasn’t working properly. A wild mixture of emotions bubbled up in her, making her want to laugh and cry at the same time. It came out as a strangled sort of squeak and she quickly clapped a hand over her mouth. She saw Lilith’s surprise melt into concern, then her eyes became far too full of tears to see anything clearly.

“Can I hug you?” Lilith asked softly.

Amity nodded, unable to speak. She heard the scrape of Lilith’s chair, then felt her gentle, reassuring embrace. She leaned her cheek against Lilith’s chest and cried quietly into her own hand, overwhelmed.

Lilith held Amity until the tears stopped and the girl made a motion to sit back. She sat down on her chair again and reached for a drawer in her desk and took out a box of tissues. She offered it to Amity who took a few and wiped her cheeks, then her nose. Lilith took one herself and dabbed under her eyes.

“How are you feeling, my dear?” she asked a little hoarsely.

“Tired,” Amity said, then let out a breath of laughter.

Lilith responded with one of her own and an understanding smile.

“And... better,” Amity continued, her face falling again. “I... thought you might...” she trailed off, reaching up to touch the pin. Lilith followed the motion of Amity’s hand with her eyes and felt a deep, deep pain in her heart.

She thought I... would not want her to stay, because of what happened last night.

A lot of feelings erupted at once. Lilith felt hurt that Amity would think that about her, but could at the same time understand how Amity could think that. Again, Lilith regretted how she had handled the Covention mess. But tried to tell herself that she wasn’t the one who had instilled the notion that love was something to be earned, in Amity’s mind. It didn’t do much, but it did something. That way of thinking resonated with her own inner child. In the torrent of thoughts and emotions was also the question if Amity and her younger self had met at thirteen, would they have been friends? Or bitter rivals for the top student badge? Some ancient part of her wanted to hold Amity close and scurry into darkness and hide away somewhere safe. Another part told her to pound her chest and roar to frighten off enemies. Which did not make sense, given the situation.

Lilith shook her head first at herself and then at Amity. She squeezed Amity’s hand, then said;

“I think I understand... There is... nothing that is going to make me ask for that pin back.” She caught Amity’s hesitant gaze and held it, trying to convey the unshakable certainty that existed in the very core of her being. “Nothing.”

Amity sniffed and started to cry anew and leaned forward. They met in the middle in another embrace, this one feeling ever so soft and gentle. Lilith rocked slightly where she stood.

“How are you feeling?” Amity asked after a while.

Lilith made a deep sigh before speaking.

“I also feel tired. And I also feel better. Thank you. For telling me. All of this. I think I needed to talk about it too, even,” Lilith paused to grimace at the thought of quickly approaching the second half of her forties. “Thirty or so years later.”

Amity hugged Lilith more intensely. Lilith hugged back, one hand protectively holding the back of Amity’s head. After a moment, they both relaxed.

“And I feel like something sweet. Like cake,” she stated with a surprised little chuckle.

“But... it’s a Tuesday,” Amity said, sounding completely baffled by the abrupt subject change.

Lilith closed her eyes a moment and smiled warmly, then slowly nodded her head, now knowing at least one small way of showing gratitude toward Edalyn and how well she had handled this very delicate situation.

“Yes it is Tuesday. A Tuesday when we have cake. Let’s stop by the bakery on our way home, hm?”

“O-okay,” Amity said, feeling a little confused, but... happy. Most of all, she felt relieved.

There is... nothing that is going to make her ask for that pin back. Nothing.

17

They cleaned themselves up a bit before leaving the school. Amity had worried so much during the day. She felt a bit silly about that, now. But... less silly than she would have a month ago. Back then, she couldn’t even imagine having a conversation with anyone about what she and Lilith had just talked about, let alone Lilith herself. She told herself that she should trust that Lilith would be there for her. After all, she had said that Amity was more important than work — if that wasn’t an ‘I love you’, she didn’t know what would be.

I really must remember that, she thought at herself very firmly. I’m more important than work. Why do I keep… forgetting all of the good things? Sometimes it just… feels true. Sometimes it just feels like it couldn’t possibly be true.

They flew into town and landed in front of the bakery. The bell tinkled merrily as customers entered and left the little shop. They stopped in front of the big display window and looked at all the baked goods.

“What kind of cake would you like?” Lilith asked with a smile. “Or perhaps something else? Oh, they have the mint cream eclairs today.”

Amity was just about to say that she really liked the Yogg-tharon-style Merry-time-madness swirl cake, but then her eyes caught on the discrete price tag on the beautiful display plate and stopped herself mid-breath.

Lilith saw the excited expression on Amity’s face fade in the reflection in the window. Perhaps they didn’t have her favorite today?

“What’s the matter?” she asked, turning to look at the girl.

Amity quickly looked over her shoulders then motioned for Lilith to lean down. Lilith obliged, taken a little aback.

“I don’t have enough,” Amity confided in a barely audible whisper. Her cheeks flushed.

Lilith blinked at her own surprised reflection in the window, then stood back up.

“I... wasn’t expecting for you to pay, my dear,” she said with a confused wrinkle between her eyebrows.

Amity looked around again, then waved Lilith down a second time.

“Do you know how to access a bank account?” she whispered, looking increasingly uncomfortable.

“Uh, yes?” Lilith whispered back. “Certainly I do, but Amity, dear, you don’t have t-”

“I don’t want you — or Eda or Luz — to have to pay for everything all the time,” Amity interrupted, then bit her lip. Her cheeks were bright red now.

Lilith stopped herself from speaking and took a moment to really think about what Amity had just said. Having your own money was important. Being fully reliant on someone else could make you feel like a b-

“Forgive me, my dear,” Lilith said quietly with a gentle sigh and an apologetic smile. “An allowance, of course. You’re a responsible young woman, of course you should have pocket money. I’m sorry I didn’t think of it sooner.”

“I could do chores!” Amity suggested, sounding eager and nervous. She felt so relieved Lilith understood what she was talking about.

“Yes. Chores, yes,” Lilith nodded seriously, then tried to think of some chores that weren’t already taken care of by the cleaning personnel or the gardener.

“Like... laundry?” Amity said it in a way that hinted at a need perhaps broader than ‘just’ pocket money.

“Of... course,” Lilith closed her eyes, chiding herself for not thinking about that, either. The poor little thing must be out of clean clothes by now, many times over. She had seen some things hanging up to dry in Amity’s bathroom now and again, but hadn’t thought to ask.

Maybe with someone else in the house it’ll force me to do it more often, Lilith thought to herself. She didn’t like doing laundry and had a tendency to let it pile up.

“Yes, laundry, of course.”

Amity breathed out.

“Do... you have a clean uniform for tomorrow?”

“This... is my only one,” Amity said, her shoulders rising ever so slightly. Her blush intensified again. “So... no.”

She burned her other uniform, Lilith thought and closed her eyes, feeling guilt really slam into her chest now. She took a steadying breath.

“Alright. Let’s... get this cake, then we’ll go home and start a list. Of the things you have and the things you need, alright?”

After a moment, Lilith felt a small, warm hand slip into hers and opened her eyes to see Amity take a step closer.

“Thank you,” she said sincerely.

The look in the girl’s eyes was genuinely grateful and relieved. It made Lilith’s heart ache deeply. She smiled and put her free hand on top of Amity’s, squeezing it tight a moment before stroking the knuckles.

“I have a lot to learn,” she said with another apologetic smile. “Thank you for telling me, my dear. Now...” she took a breath. “What kind of cake would you like?”

They exchanged soft smiles, then turned back to the window.

“I... really like the Yogg-tharon-style Merry-time-madness swirl,” she said. “But I’m good with whatever, really.”

Lilith smiled down at her, then squeezed her hand again.

The bell tinkled as they entered the little shop.

“Ah, Miss Lilith, how do you do?” the old lady behind the counter said in a pleasant manner. “And hello, dear.” She nodded politely at Amity.

“I am very well, how are you?”

“Oh, so much better for your asking,” the old lady cooed. “What can I get you today?”

“A Yogg-tharon-style Merry-time-madness swirl cake, please,” Lilith said it with a warm smile. After a moment, she added; “And… a denerious dream cake. Please.”

“Delightful! Let’s get that all wrapped up for you. Oh! And for the young lady, while you wait.” The lady reached for a big tin and held it out to Amity. “Homemade peppermints, take one for now and one for later!”

Amity glanced up at Lilith who smiled and nodded, then reached out and took two pieces, as instructed.

The old lady made small talk with Lilith as she wrung them up and Amity carefully unwrapped a purple and green striped sweet.

“Thank you so much,” Lilith said as she took the beautifully wrapped black and gold cartons. “Have a good day.”

“You too! Hope to see you soon! And do give my best to Miss Eda.”

As soon as they left the store, Amity gave the second sweet to Lilith, who accepted it with a wrinkle-nosed smile. She unwrapped it deftly and popped it in her mouth, then held out her hand toward Amity, her smile widening and going slightly lopsided because of her bulging cheek.

“Thank you. Let’f go make that lift,” she said in a light and happy tone.

They walked home, holding hands.

18

Eda looked up at a thump from outside. After a moment, there was a tiny knock on the kitchen door, very low to the ground. She frowned at the clock on the wall. It was a little after nine thirty in the evening. She went to open and found Sapphire sitting on a parcel.

“Uh, hi?” Eda said, looking around for Lily. After a moment, she bent to reach for the parcel. Sapphire fluttered over to her arm. “You, uh… coming in, or?”

Sapphire gave her a piercing look, then bumped the side of their head against Eda’s arm, making a little caw. After a moment, they straightened back up. Eda received another helping of intense prolonged eye contact, then Sapphire flew off.

Eda felt very confused by this strange behavior and slowly went back into the kitchen. She shook her head a little, then inspected the parcel. Inside it was a fancy box, a note and... a bunch of twigs tied with ribbon? Inside the fancy box was an even fancier cake.

“’Thank you, Edalyn! From Lily’…” Eda read aloud. The ‘Thank you’ had been underlined three times. And Lily had used an exclamation point. She looked from the note, to the cake, then picked up the twigs. She sniffed them gingerly, then smiled at the sting of the summoned bittersweet memories. She remembered sitting in the garden, behind the terbium tree.

“Mushy, mushy heart,” she chuckled quietly, then went to find something to use as a vase.

She put a glass jar on the kitchen table, put the twigs in it, then grabbed some forks and sat down. Her eyes rested on the cake for a long moment, sitting back in her chair with a creak. Perhaps it was her heart that creaked. She looked at the note again, smiled, then put it in her pocket.

“KI-IDS!” she called to the ceiling.

An answering “Yeah?” came from upstairs.

“There’s cake!”

Within seconds, King and a pajama-clad Luz came thundering down the stairs.

“Where did you get cake at this hour?!” Luz asked in amazement.

“I have my ways,” Eda said with a crooked grin, then held out some forks.

“This is the apology cake!” King exclaimed after taking a huge forkful.

“Mmm, more of a thank you cake, this time round,” Eda corrected him.

“Aww,” Luz cooed, giving Eda a soft look. “What’chu do?”

“Eh, just big sister stuff,” Eda said with a little shrug and a big grin.

.-.. .. -.- . / -.-. --- -- .. -. --. / .... --- -- .

19

A few days later, Luz opened the door to find Lilith standing alone on the stoop. She glanced around to see where Amity was, but couldn’t see her. It was a little after lunch, though, so she was probably at school.

“Hi,” Luz said. “Eda’s out back.”

“Actually… I was hoping to talk to you,” Lilith said, trying not to sound nervous. She reached into her shoulder bag and brought out what looked like a brand new notebook, a very fancy pen and a… stopwatch?

“Could you… show me... how to make birthday quality… pancakes?” Lilith looked really vulnerable as she asked, and hopeful too. Luz gave her one of her radiant sunshine smiles and squeaked and wiggled on the spot.

“Yes I can!” she said enthusiastically. “Now?”

Lilith looked extremely relieved and let out a deep sigh.

“Do you have time, now?” she asked.

“Yes! I’m gonna meet up with Amity after school, so I have like two hours?”

“Wonderful! Thank you,” Lilith tucked her notebook under one arm and held out a hand to Luz. Luz took it, looking pleased, and Lilith put her other hand into the handshake as well. “Truly, thank you.”

“You have no idea how happy this makes me,” Luz beamed, bouncing on her heels. “Come on! King? Wanna make some pancakes with us?”

“Sprinkles?” the little demon said, appearing from behind the couch, sniffing the air quickly, smacking his lips and looking around with wide eyes.

“Yes, sprinkles! How very appropriate,” Luz took a few graceful steps into the room, then curtsied to King before picking him up and carrying him toward the kitchen, waving for Lilith to follow.

An hour and a half and several pages of highly detailed notes later, Lilith felt a little more confident. King felt very full. And Luz felt somewhat overwhelmed by all the questions, but mostly she felt proud.

“Hey, Lily,” Eda called as Lilith closed the front door behind her.

“What is it? I have to get back before my lesson,” she said, looking Eda up and down and then around the front yard, wondering if she needed help with something garden related.

“Just wanted to give you a heads up,” Eda said with a grin.

“About what?”

“After the ceremony, after dinner and cake and everything — thanks by the way, it was lovely and you’re welcome — Luz is going to ask if Amity wants to go for a little fly around to look for Perytons, and I thought we could get your worries out of the way beforehand, to make things go a little... smoother for them. And so we’re on the same page.”

Lilith’s mind came to a screeching halt.

“So, come at me, sis.”

“How... long are they going to be gone?” Lilith asked, struggling to shift gears.

“Hour, tops.”

“Do you trust Luz to fly in the dark?”

“It’ll be a full moon, so visibility won’t be that big of an issue, but yeah, I trust her to fly in the dark.”

“Alright. But no loops.”

“No loops,” Eda said, shaking her head. Another grin appeared on her face. “Got any more questions?”

“… No,” she said slowly. “I doubt they’ll find Perytons, though.”

“They’ll figure something else out, I’m pretty sure,” Eda chuckled and rolled her eyes in amusement. “That was it, you can scurry off back to work now, miss… surprise birthday pancakes. Good work on those by the way, couldn’t smell anything burning. And we won’t spoil the surprise, don’t worry. If you don’t want to spoil it either, you should probably leave the apron here.”

Lilith frowned, then looked down at herself. She was still wearing the apron. She let out a slightly embarrassed but amused huff. She untied it and went to open the door again.

“Give it here,” Eda said with a chuckle. “Go on, see you tomorrow afternoon.”

“Thank you,” Lilith handed Eda the apron, brushed herself down, then smiled as she summoned her staff and mounted up. “See you tomorrow!” she said as she lifted off.

20

Amity opened her eyes slowly at the sound of her alarm. Today was the day. Today was the day!

She got ready and packed her school bag, then had a final check in the mirror. She straightened the Clawthorne pin under her brand new cowl, knowing that this was the last time she had to hide it.

When she arrived at the kitchen, she found a slightly harried looking Lilith in a robe, standing by the stove.

“Good morning,” Amity said, trying hard to contain her excitement.

“Shit!” Lilith squeaked and dropped the spatula into the frying pan with a clatter. Amity snorted and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. “Aah, damn it, I was supposed to — oh!” Lilith gibbered, caught completely off guard. “One second, hold on my dear!” She clinged and clanged around with various things, then there was a sharp psssht! Then she turned around slowly, holding a plate reverentially in both hands. She stepped carefully to the table and placed it down by Amity’s usual seat.

“Happy Birthday, my dear!” Lilith said with a big smile. “Come, come, sit!”

Amity hurried over and took a seat.

“Are these… pancakes?” she asked in a soft voice, looking up at Lilith in astonishment. The plate had a huge stack of steaming, golden brown cakes. And a generous spritzing of whipped cream, topped with star shaped, pink sprinkles. “You… made me pancakes?”

“I really hope so,” Lilith said worriedly. Amity glanced behind her and saw the messy kitchen counter and a literal pile of dishes already in the sink. There was flour on the floor. The look on Lilith’s face was hopeful. And also a little… sleep deprived.

Amity picked up a knife and fork and cut a big piece and took a bite with enthusiasm. Lilith held her own cheeks anxiously.

“Is it alright?” she asked with a nervous grimace.

Amity looked up at Lilith as she chewed and nodded, looking delighted.

“Oh thank goodness,” Lilith said with relief, then pretty much collapsed into her own chair with an exhausted smile on her face. She waved a finger. There was a little clink as she sent a copper coin into the mostly empty swear jar on top of the fridge.

“Aren’t you going to have some? It’s really good!”

Lilith let out a little embarrassed laugh, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I… used up all the flour,” she said and looked over at the absolute mess on the counter, then covered her smiling mouth with her hand.

Amity looked at her plate; there was more than enough for one person there. She promptly shoved the plate halfway between them and scooted closer to Lilith, then took another bite.

“Are you sure?” Lilith asked, looking touched. Amity just nodded happily. Lilith picked up her own fork and took a careful bite, as if she was afraid it might explode. She perked up when it didn’t and looked extremely pleased. Amity leaned her head on Lilith’s shoulder and they giggled together as they ate. What a wonderful, pink bubble moment to start the day!

She learned how to make pancakes for me.

21

Luz could barely stand still. Finally, the school doors opened and students started filing out. She stood on tip toe to see Amity and waved enthusiastically when she spotted her. To her delight, Amity quickened her steps and Luz ran to meet her.

“Happy! Birthday!!!” Luz cheered, hugging Amity and spinning her around. “How was your day?! How was your breakfast?”

“My day has been good, my breakfast was amazing!” Amity smiled so happily it made Luz’s brain sparkle. “Did you teach her?”

“Uh-huuuh! She asked me to! She’s so sweet!”

“I know,” Amity said, almost getting teary eyed for the hundredth time today. “How was your day?”

“Fine! Oh my gosh, are you excited? I’m excited! Let’s go get readyyy!! Come on, come on, come on!” Luz pulled on Amity’s hand to get her moving and soon they were running down the stairs, toward Amity’s new home.

22

Odalia poured herself another glass. In her addled state, she couldn’t fully appreciate the stark contrast between the sweet wine and the bitter view.

She played the memory again. And again. And again. Over and over she heard the words;

“Can’t you — when are you coming home?”

“I’m not.”

But she had to come back. It was impossible for her not to come back. Unthinkable! She was willful, had her moods, but... Amity was her good girl. She always did what was right, in the end. She always got top marks. Rarely cried. She had stopped bothering Odalia when her study door was closed, had understood to give her peace and quiet when she was working much earlier than the twins had. The future of the Blight name was on her shoulders — eventually she would return to the fold. She understood about duty.

Her eyes slid over the fine bookshelves, so beautifully and tastefully arranged with priceless tomes and rare artifacts. The Blight family crest adorned the wall above the door to the foyer. Portraits of great Blights of the past hung in the room, proud and serene. Who would choose to turn away from such wonderful heirlooms, such prestigious predecessors? Odalia herself had bucked in her youth, but she had learned the importance of family. Of stability. Of responsibility. Of duty.

“I wasss the most… daughtiful ditter,” she grumbled before she drained the glass.

23

“It needs to be perfect!” Lilith muttered as she fitfully rearranged a bunch of flowers in a vase.

Eda stepped into her field of vision and held up both her hands.

“Lily,” she said slowly. “Put the flowers down.”

Lilith glared fiercely at Eda and Eda gave her a stern look in return.

“Go back inside, finish getting dressed,” Eda said, trying to sound gentle. “The flowers are fine.”

Lilith blinked hard, then looked down at herself. She was out in the garden in her housecoat and slippers.

“Hey, I know you’re doing the whole ‘everything must be perfect or it’ll all explode and go wrong and junk’-thing, but I’ve seen all the preparations you’ve made, everything is sorted out, everything is in the right place, the cake is in the fridge — it’s all good. All that’s left is… getting dressed and going there. You know the words, even I know the words - ”

“I, Lilith Meadowyn Desiderata,” Lilith began, on cue. Eda seized the moment and her sister by the elbow and guided her back into the dressing room by the study, repeating the prepared speech along with Lilith. She had heard Lilith say it out loud at least twenty times by now. After each repetition, Eda moved them onto the next step of getting Lilith ready. Until Lilith seemed to come out of her loop and take the next step herself.

“You good?” she asked, holding out her hands in a ‘I don’t want to startle you’ way.

“Yes?” Lilith said, giving Eda a ‘what on earth are you talking about’ look.

“There she is,” Eda grinned, stepping back and letting her arms drop. “I’m gonna go check on the kids.”

As she headed toward said kids, she shook her head, cricked her neck and rolled her shoulders.

“Come on, final sprint,” she said as she patted herself on both cheeks. When she arrived at the door, she knocked and waited. She heard a ‘come in’ from inside.

“All good in here?” she asked as she entered.

“Almost ready!” Luz called from the bathroom.

“Need anything?”

“Me!” King trotted out from the bathroom, wearing a lopsided red bow tie. Eda smiled and hunkered down to help him.

“Man, why didn’t you just go with the clip on?” she muttered after trying and failing a couple times.

“The clip on ones aren’t fancy enough!” King said with a huff. “This is a special occasion!”

“Well, I don’t remember how to do them buddy, been a long time since my school uniform days.”

“Weh!” King stomped his foot in protest. “Does nobody in this spooky house have any class?!”

“Lily might remember how?” Eda suggested, wondering if it’d be a good idea to disturb her now that she was back on track. Before she had finished the thought, King had scampered off.

There was a tap at the door as Lilith was fastening her last earring.

“Enter,” she said distractedly.

“Can you do my bow tie properly?” King asked as he opened the door. He strode in, stopped, looked Lilith up and down, then nodded approvingly. “You’re classy.”

“Thank you?” Lilith said uncertainly. She wracked her brains, trying to shift gears. She was ready, so… She could help. “Sit,” she said and patted the chair in front of the vanity.

King scrambled up and looked at himself in the mirror, checking out his profile and straightening his tail. Lilith stepped up behind him. They spent a full minute trying to undo Eda’s last attempt and finally got it to unravel.

“Alright, let’s see,” Lilith said and hung it around King’s neck. She looked around for something to practice with and grabbed the silken belt from her house coat. She took a moment and closed her eyes, then began to tie it around her own neck. After a few false starts, she remembered the steps she had come up with for herself decades ago.

“Now that’s fancy! Me next, me next!” King wriggled excitedly on the chair as Lilith studied the result in the mirror.

Lilith stepped behind the demon and bent down so they were on the same level. It was a little more complicated to do it on another person, but it was easier to see it in the mirror than to try to do it in reverse, in front of King. On the third attempt, they both smiled at the result.

“Oh!” Lilith hurried over to the vanity and pulled a few drawers out before she found what she was looking for.

“What’s that?”

“It goes in the middle,” Lilith stepped behind him again, then held it out in front of King’s tie, so he could see it in the mirror. It was a round, blood red jewel set in gold. 

King’s eyes widened and he nodded eagerly. “It used to belong to your… great grandfather,” she said after she had fastened it. King admired himself in the mirror, turning this way and that.

“It’s perfect!” he said, putting his hands on his little hips and nodding approvingly. “I’m gonna go show Luz! Thaaank youu!”

He hopped down and scampered out through the still open door. Where Eda stood, leaning against the frame. She looked terribly smug and kind of touched at the same time.

“All set?” she asked.

Lilith took a breath.

“I think so,” she said, smiling widely.

“Great. Kids!” Eda shouted, making Lilith wince in alarm. “Time to go! Come to the front door!”

Lilith remembered her cloak and went to get it quickly.

A bunch of giggling preceded the arrival of the girls and King.

“You all look wonderful,” Lilith said with a soft voice, looking between everyone.

“So do you!” Luz said with a wiggle. “Let’s put the flowers on and take a picture!”

They all squeezed together in front of one of the gargoyles.

Amity, Luz and King flew on Owlbert and Lilith and Eda rode together on Sapphire. The setting sun warmed their backs.

24

Alador strode into Odalia’s study, taking off his traveling cloak and flinging it carelessly behind him. His abomination caught it.

“I saw the light on,” he said in greeting. “Working late?”

Odalia didn’t respond. Alador’s quick pace slowed. As he came to a stop, his boot hit a bottle. It rolled a little way over the thick carpet. He bent down and picked it up, frowning at the label. There was a little snore.

“What are we celebrating?” he said sarcastically to his sleeping wife. His eyes flicked to the crystal ball on its ornate stand. Faint sounds were coming from it. Usually, Odalia was most protective of the heirloom, rarely letting Alador even see it uncovered. He smiled as he stepped behind the desk, curious as to what Odalia had been reliving this time. Was it the time she had caught the servant sneaking a lover into the Blight gardens? He remembered catching her watching it before. It had led to a most wonderful evening.

He frowned as he saw a child in a school uniform, standing by some sinks.

“Amity?” he said in a disappointed tone.

25

They met Morton and Principal Bump by the entrance to the temple and walked in together. Luz and King ran around, but Amity walked with the adults. She looked like she was bursting at the seams, though.

“Go on, get the wiggles out,” Eda said quietly to Amity. Amity looked up at her, then glanced at Lilith, who nodded. She trotted off after Luz and King. “Do you also need to get some wiggles out, Lilith Meadowyn Desiderata Clawthorne?” Eda asked with a chuckle, looking Lilith up and down meaningfully.

“I’m go-od,” Lilith sang in a ‘don’t fucking try me right now’-tone of voice.

26

Alador froze. He glanced up at the wall above the door, then back at the orb. Now he started actually listening to what was being said. When the memory was over, it replayed. How many times had it looped? When was it from? He reached out a hand, hovering above the surface, waiting — there! He zoomed in, then took a shocked step back, bumping into the bookshelf behind him. 

… And all members of the Clawthorne family…

“Goodbye… Alador.” 

His eyes darted all over the room. What day was it? What date was it? His eyes fixated on the calendar on Odalia’s desk. A day was circled; today! As was next Saturday!

“But how old is she turning?!” he hissed, striding forward and rifling through the top layer of mess on Odalia’s desk. A pink envelope caught his eye, he snatched it up and opened it roughly.

“The Blight family invites you to join them on Saturday the 24th… in celebrating the fourteenth birth…” he trailed off, his eyes staring down at the card. 

No.

The invitation began to smolder where he touched it. He crumpled it up and brought it with him as he strode out of the room, silent, furious and determined.

There was only one place the clever, insolent little bitch could be tonight.

27

Morton and Principal Bump walked ahead, conversing pleasantly. It took a surprisingly long time to get to where they were going. The sacred chamber was deep inside the temple. As they were walking, something… didn’t taste quite right in the air to Eda, somehow. Her feathers felt ruffled, even though they were currently non-existent.

“Alright, last bathroom break before we start,” she said and pointed toward a sign. “If you’re gonna go, go now. Just me? Alright. Go on, I’ll catch up.”

“You won’t get lost?” Lilith asked, giving Eda a serious look.

“It’s literally just down the corridor,” Eda said, feeling offended. “Won’t be a minute.”

The rest of them moved on, Luz looking over her shoulder at Eda. Eda waved sarcastically and Luz smiled and turned back.

28

Alador landed hard on the gravel path in front of the crumbling temple gates. They opened with a crash as he strode toward them, startling the people in the entrance. They scurried away, looking scared. His boots left singed marks behind with every angry step. He knew where to go. Once upon a time, he himself had performed this ritual. He had gained a legacy that day. He was not about to lose it.

29

Eda decided she may as well actually go to the bathroom, while she was there. She tried to figure out what she was feeling, but couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Like a tap-tapping on the window in the attic of her mind. As she was washing her hands, the whatever it was, intensified. She stepped back into the corridor, hesitated, then walked slowly away from where the others had headed. The skin on the back of her arms and neck prickled in warning. She narrowed her eyes and sniffed the air. Something… She smacked her lips with a grimace. The gums around her canines were itching.

“I’m listening, keep your pants on,” she muttered, annoyed.

30

His jaw clenched as he navigated the winding corridors. His breath grew labored as he neared his goal. Then, out of nowhere, he felt as if he had walked into a wall of living static. He stumbled back, confused and furious.

“Whooooa there, buddy,” someone said from over to his right. He turned and glared at the witch in red.

“You… YOU!” he growled, pointing at the witch with a hand shaking with barely controlled fury, recognition setting his already tilted mind further ablaze. “Her sister!”

“Welp, ya caught me?” Eda said with an exaggerated shrug, holding up her hands. 

This asshole was obviously the reason for the warnings.

“That cousin shtick was getting old anyways.”

“Where is she?!” Alador demanded.

“Where is… who?” Eda said in a cold voice. She didn’t want to summon her staff. Not yet.

“She’s my daughter!”

“Coulda fooled me, Aladork,” Eda said, feeling buoyed up by the immense surge of rage at his words. Her eyes flicked down to his chest, where a dark green stain had begun to spread. She breathed out a breath that felt too hot and took a decisive step forward. Alador gasped, stumbling back. There was a sizzling sound. “Breaking the everlasting oath — now that’s a baaad idea.”

“You can’t do this!” he panted, clutching at his fine robes. He took another step back.

“I’m not doing anything,” Eda smirked, lowering her head in an almost raptor-like manner. “You’re the one who agreed to the terms of the oath.”

“But it was based on a lie!”

“Was it though? You know what they say about making assumptions,” Eda took another threatening step forward, feeling her tail feathers want to flare. Alador jerked back. The dark green mark had reached his collarbones and waist now, and the robes were starting to smolder over his heart. The sizzling sound intensified.

“You can not take my daughter!”

“We’re not taking anyone. She came to us…” Eda kept pressing forward, Alador scrambled back the way he had come. “After you threw her away, time and time again. You created this situation. Your choices. Your parenting, or lack there of. Despite aaall you didn’t do, she’s making a new sandwich, all on her own.” Her non-existent feathers settled slightly. But something pulled at her mind.

“Wh-what?!”

Eda glanced toward the inner chamber, then tutted and rolled her eyes.

“So, what’s it gonna be, huh?” she asked, dropping the dramatic attitude. “You gonna burst into flames already or what? I have somewhere to be, you know.” She leaned over on one hip, looking the asshole up and down with disdain and borderline boredom.

Alador stared at her, utterly stunned at being looked at as if he was wasting her time.

“Always wanted to see the everlasting oath be broken. Eh,” she shrugged and took a swaggering step back. “Another time, Aladork. Give me some heads up, would ya? This kind of thing you want snacks for.” With that, she spun on her heel and sauntered off, chuckling to herself.

Alador’s robes stopped smoldering, but the dark stain remained. He tried to wipe it off, but it seemed to be etched into his skin. His mind raced as he watched Edalyn motherfucking Clawthorne all but skip gleefully away from him.

He had been… outplayed.

31

“Where have you been?! It’s about to start!” Luz said in a stage whisper. Eda hurried over and took up position next to her.

“Ran into an old friend and stopped for a chat, sorry. But I am on time, kid, so don’t give me that look.”

“Shuuushush-ush!” Luz elbowed Eda in the side.

“Ow,” Eda gave Luz an ‘are you kidding me right now?’ look of her own, then smirked and whispered; “Good arm, though.”

“Shh!”

Principal Bump climbed the dais at the back of the large chamber, where Amity and Lilith were waiting. He placed his hands on the thick tome on top of the stone altar and looked first at Lilith, whose thin veneer of calm could barely contain her excitement. He gave her a proud smile. Then he looked at Amity. The girl was pale and looked nervous, but determined. He caught her eye and held her gaze a moment, giving her a pleased look. He cleared his throat.

“Witchcraft has changed a lot through the ages, but one tradition never quite seems to leave us,” he began in a solemn, but happy tone of voice. “The tradition of mentor and apprentice. For what better way is there to learn, than directly from someone who has spent decades honing their craft? But there is more to it than mere knowledge being passed on. There needs to be mutual trust. There needs to be mutual respect. As the mentor teaches, they are also taught. As the apprentice grows, they will discover new things. Or provide a new perspective on old knowledge. And the world will be richer for it. So, it gives me great pleasure that these two top students of mine, are joining forces. I look forward to what you can discover, together. Mentor to be, please step forward.” Bump picked up the ceremonial double-edged dagger from its place on the altar and held it out for Lilith to take. She did so, graciously.

“I, Lilith Meadowyn Desiderata Clawthorne, welcome you, Amity Guinevere Esmeralda Blight, into my family and my home with open arms. I invite you to dine at my table, sleep under my roof and find warmth at my hearth. I promise to teach, train and guide you to the best of my ability. To seal this bond I set my word and my blood in stone,” Lilith raised the double edged dagger and pricked the tip of her right index finger. She waited for a bead of blood to form, then drew a spell circle with that finger and put her hand through it. With the shining circle around her wrist, she reached out to the stone slab in front of her and wrote her name in full, the spell carving the letters into the stone as if they had been chiseled into it. When she was done, she turned to Amity and carefully held out the dagger by the guards so that she could grab the hilt.

“Apprentice to be, step forward,” Bump said solemnly.

Amity swallowed, stepped forward, took the dagger, then said:

“I... Amity Guinevere Esmeralda Blight, accept your invitation. I swear to listen, learn and work at your side. To seal this bond I set my word and my blood in stone.” She raised the clean blade to her finger and took a breath before pricking it quickly. She completed the ritual with her heart pounding hard in her chest.

Amity Guinevere Esmeralda Blight… Clawthorne.

“In the name of the Titan, I declare a new Mentor and Apprentice!” Bump said with a broad smile, slowly opening up his arms in a welcoming gesture. “Your stone shall be put into the wall of this temple, like so many before you,” he gestured reverentially to the walls around the chamber, where countless stones bore the names of people from ages past, many of them in languages no longer spoken and all of them faded and worn.

“May the Titan guide your steps,” he finished, then bowed his head low and Amity and Lilith followed suit.

Amity couldn’t help but smile, almost feeling dizzy from the relief of not messing up her part. Lilith smiled back at her with tears in her eyes, then held out her arms. Amity stepped into the embrace of her new legal guardian with a breath of laughter and a sniff. They hugged tightly, Lilith bending low to rest her cheek on the top of Amity’s head, stroking her back tenderly.

A sudden “Wooo-OO! Yeah!” and applause came from behind them. Lilith looked up to see everyone on their feet, Eda with her hands cupped around her mouth.

“Yeah! Woo!” Luz cheered as well, clapping with her hands over her head. King jumped up and down.

Morton applauded too and Bump joined in as he walked away from the altar.

“Welcome to the family, kid, officially” Eda said and patted Amity on the shoulder. “Good to have ya.”

“Th-a-ank you,” Amity managed, feeling overwhelmed.

“What a wonderful speech, Hieronymus, thank you,” Lilith said tearfully to her old teacher. They shook hands warmly.

“Eeeee!” Luz squealed as she rushed forward to hug Amity. Both of them laughed as Luz lifted Amity off her feet and spun her around. “¡Felicidades, querida!”

“Nice work, sis,” Eda said with a pleased, crooked grin. Her non-existent feathers remained unruffled; the coast was clear. No need to ruin the moment by telling Lilith or the kids what had happened a few minutes ago. “Now it’s time to pa-a-rtay! Follow me, everyone!”

Eda led the group out of the temple, tactfully making sure nothing would upset the relieved atmosphere. Some marks on the floor caught her eye. While everyone was distracted, she drew a spell circle and sent a cleaning spell ahead of her, removing the dark footprints leading in and out of the temple. Nobody noticed; everyone was too busy laughing and talking. And crying.

32

“Time for presents! Right?” Luz asked as they touched down in the beautifully decorated garden.

“Yeah, presents!” Eda agreed. “And then food, I’m starving. Come on, Morton, help me set up the last of it.”

“Here!” Luz said with a big grin, holding out a tiny box with an enormous bow on it to Amity.

“Oh, thank you,” Amity responded, blushing, completely forgetting how to use her arms and legs at the same time.

“Open it now?” Luz suggested hopefully.

“Oh, yes,” Amity shook her head to clear it, then reached out for the gift. She pulled at the bow, didn’t know where to put the ribbon when she had untied it, so she looped it around her neck like a scarf.

Luz bounced on her heels excitedly.

Amity opened the little box and lifted a sheet of crinkly paper out of the way.

“Oh, let me help you with that!” Luz dug around in a pocket and pulled out a crumpled light glyph, she patted it flat and summoned a little orb of light. “Now you can actually see.”

“Thanks,” Amity giggled. She took out the little yellow thing inside the box. A thin leather cord followed. “A necklace?” she asked, astounded.

“Yeah!” Luz nodded and beamed.

Amity looked closer at the yellow thing. It was a little lemon pendant with a smile on it.

“A... lemon?” she asked.

“Yeah, ‘cuz... you’re a lemon drop with a hidden sweet center,” Luz said with a goofy grin and reddening cheeks. She scuffed the ground with her foot. “Do you... like it?”

I’m her lemon. She’s my strawberry.

“I love it!” Amity squeaked, throwing her arms around Luz and quickly kissing her on the cheek.

“Yes!” Luz cheered. “Oh I’m so glad! I made it myself!”

“You did?!” Amity exclaimed, pushing Luz out of the hug so she could stare at her.

“Yeah,” Luz giggled, grinning widely at the astonished look on Amity’s face. Her eyes flicked down to Amity’s lips, then looked back up into her eyes and swallowed.

Amity saw the blush reach Luz’s ears and felt her own heartbeat leap into triple digits.

“Wih-will you help me put it on?” she asked, feeling her own face heat up. The look in Luz’s eyes had changed from something to something else and she liked the something else a lot. She wished they were alone.

“Y-yeah of course,” Luz nodded and quickly wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her vest before taking the necklace.

Amity turned around and swept her hair out of the way.

Luz had to close her eyes and take a breath before reaching around Amity’s neck to fasten the clasp of the necklace.

“The-/-ere!” Luz said in a voice that cracked in the middle of the word. She quickly thumped her chest and said; “There you go,” in a much deeper register, holding out her arms to seem bigger.

“Thank you, Luz,” Amity said, turning around again. She was holding the pendant between thumb and index finger, then looked up at Luz and blinked slowly, smiling happily.***

“Wow...” Luz breathed, her arms falling to her sides, unable to look away from Amity’s face. She had never seen Amity look so pleased.

“My turn, my turn!” King said, patting Luz's knee eagerly. “Up! Uppies!”

Luz bent down to pick him up and put him on her hip. She couldn’t stop grinning and it was very hard to stand still all of a sudden.

“Here!” King said as he thrust a lumpy gift toward Amity.

“Thank you, King,” Amity said, smiling at him. She unwrapped a violently pink stuffed animal of indeterminable species.

“This is Lieutenant Commander Sugar Boots,” King informed her seriously. “They are a great listener and have been wanting to get into mercenary work so I’m showing a lot of faith in you by allowing you the pleasure of their company! Treat them well, or else!” he shook a tiny fist at Amity.

“Ohokay little man,” Luz giggled, patting him calmingly on the back.

“And you!” now King addressed the toy. “I am entrusting you with Amity’s safety! Make me proud, soldier.” He nodded solemnly and gave the toy a salute, then without dropping any seriousness whatsoever he said; “King wants down now.”

“Nyokay.”

Luz put him down and Eda and Lilith came over. They had stood over by Bump and Morton, all of them trying to contain their delight at the adorable display, with varying degrees of success.

“I put my present over there, let’s open it, later,” Eda said to Amity, then swept an arm around Luz’s shoulder and pulled her away. “Smooth moves, kid,” she chuckled at a still blushing Luz.

“She liked it!” Luz whispered back.

“No, she loved it. Hey, remember where the shed is?”

“Uh huh!”

“Do me a favor and go get the bottle I left cooling in the bucket by the pump, will ya?”

“Yeah, uh huh, sure, okay!” Luz nodded and set off at a run.

Eda chuckled as the kid sprinted off, scattering gravel everywhere, startling several birds.

In the meantime, Principal Bump and Morton wandered over to Amity and Lilith with two presents of their own. The gift from Principal Bump was a book titled ‘Philosophiae Naturalis Principa Abominationem’.

Amity gasped as she unwrapped it. Lilith helpfully took the wrappings and folded them neatly, then put them under her arm, along with Lieutenant Commander Sugar Boots.

“I’ve been wanting to read this forever!” she said, looking up at her principal with astonished eyes. “Thank you!”

“The section on internal structure is especially riveting,” Principal Bump said with a nod and an approving smile.

“I look forward to it, Principal Bump, thank you so much.”

“It was my pleasure. Now if you would excuse me, the salmon puffs are calling my name.” He sauntered off toward the table laden with food, a spring in his step. King was already up there, piling a plate high with cupcakes.

“This one’s from me,” Morton said, holding out a beautifully wrapped parcel with both hands. “Lilith informed me you are studying abominations, so I thought... That something like this might be of use to you.”

The gift from Morton turned out to be a carved ceramic flask with a sturdy leather belt loop. It would be a great abomination container!

“Thank you, Morton,” Amity said, feeling very touched. It was an incredibly thoughtful gift. All of the gifts had been thoughtful. “It’s lovely.”

“Oh, I’m delighted you like it!” Morton clasped his hands to his chest, beaming. “Thank you ever so much for the invitation, the ceremony was beautiful.”

“Thank you for coming,” Amity said sincerely.

“Please, help yourself to anything at the table,” Lilith smiled at Morton and bowed her head a moment. He bowed back, then stepped away, heading for the food. Lilith sighed happily, then turned to Amity with a smile. “And from me,” she began in a soft voice.

“But, you’re not supposed to get me anything?” Amity interrupted before she could stop herself.

“Forgive me this break from tradition, little one,” Lilith said with a calm, warm smile. “And may I remind you it is your birthday. You are in fact... already wearing your gift.”

Amity’s free hand jumped to her ear, touching one of the beautiful earrings Lilith had lent her to wear for the ceremony.

“But... they’re a family heirloom,” she said in a voice full of disbelief.

“Yes. They are.” Lilith stated it simply, nodding.

It took a moment for the meaning of those words to sink in and when they finally did, Amity let out an unsteady breath and sniffed. Without a word she stepped in close and put her arms around Lilith’s midriff. Lilith welcomed the embrace, gently wrapping her arms, the wrapping paper, the book and the stuffed animal around her…

Daughter…

Something inside Lilith’s mind… Unpinned itself. She had thought of Amity as her child for quite a while. But she had not allowed herself to use that particular word before, even in the privacy of her own mind. But now… With the last pin removed, she could finally, finally put on the mantle she never thought she would ever be able to wear. And it… fit. It was warm. It was soft. And she knew it could be harder than diamonds, when she needed it to be.

“This — this is the best birthday ever,” Amity managed to choke out before she was overtaken by some kind of mixture between laughter and sobs. Lilith held her and swayed back and forth, laughing and crying too, relaxing into the embrace.

33

“Uh, are they okay?” King asked, leaning over to look at Lilith and Amity standing over by the hedge, a little away from the table.

“Right as rain, buddy,” Eda said with a big grin, gently shoving him back into his seat. “Pass the hot sauce!”

“Not if you’re going to put it on the salmon puffs,” Principal Bump made an affronted huff and gave Eda a suspicious look.

“What do you care? They’re my salmon puffs.”

“It’s practically sacrilege.”

“On the day of my newly adopted niece’s birthday, you deny me this unholy snack?” Eda countered, holding out her hand with a confident little smirk.

“Hopefully Miss Blight Clawthorne will inject some more sense into your family,” Principal Bump muttered, reluctantly handing over the hot sauce.

“Pfft, you wish,” Eda chuckled, upending the hot sauce over her plate.

Morton dabbed at his eyes with his napkin.

“It’s so-oh-ho precious,” Luz bawled next to him, blowing her nose on her own napkin.

“I know, right?” Eda said, grinning as she chewed.

“They’re so happy!” Morton nodded at Luz.

“Yeah, and they so deserve it? Like have you seen them?!” Luz nodded at Morton even more intensely.

“They’re adorable!” Morton was practically beside himself with sobs.

“I know!” Luz was so beside herself she was practically sitting two seats away from herself.

Eda, King and Bump kept eating next to the simultaneous breakdown from cuteness. After a few intense minutes, they calmed down.

“Rehydrate, you two,” Bump said primly, filling both Luz and Morton’s glasses with sparkling water.

“Denk youh,” Morton sniffled. “Oh by... Denk gooddess I cab brebared.” He reached into a pocket and pulled out a little bottle with a dropper and took a drop on the tip of his finger, then held it out to Luz.

“Wait — wazzat?” Eda asked, holding up a fork in objection.

“Plankwabe’s perk up potion?” Morton said as he applied it under his eyes and over the bridge of his nose.

“Nope, ‘s got gnat-gnat root in it,” Eda waved her fork and shook her head at the same time. “Does not agree with humans.”

“I’ll be fide in a binute!” Luz reassured Morton. “Bud denk you for offerink.”

After a few minutes a slightly red-nosed and puffy-eyed, but very happy looking Amity and Lilith joined them at the table.

“Rehydrate,” Bump advised, this time in a more gentle tone. He filled their glasses, then raised his in a toast. “A toast! To new beginnings.”

“Hear, hear!” King stomped the table with his foot for emphasis.

“And happy birthday!” Luz chimed in.

“Cactus laundry!” Eda called with a big grin.

Everyone raised their glasses — Morton and Bump exchanged a slightly confused look at Eda’s exclamation, but they drank along with everyone else.

“Thanks, everyone,” Amity said, feeling overwhelmed by all the wonderful things that had happened today.

Lilith pulled out the chair at the head of the table and gestured for Amity to sit, and she did. Lilith then took a seat on her right and Luz sat on her left. Amity looked around at all of them, passing plates and bowls between each other in a beautifully chaotic dance. This was nothing like dinner at the Blight house.

“Salmon puff?” Lilith asked from her right at the same time as Luz said; “You gotta try some of these muffins!”

They were both holding out a plate each to her and she took a muffin and a salmon puff with a smile.

“They’re both great with hot sauce,” Eda offered. She held out a bottle with flames on it.

34

A little later, it was time for cake. Everyone got up and told Amity to wait there while they cleared the table. Eda returned first, now carrying a present.

“Here,” she said and held it out.

“Oh, thank you,” Amity responded, feeling a little surprised. She had thought the gift part of the evening was over. She unwrapped it carefully. It was a very fancy looking sketch pad with great quality paper. “Wow, thank you.” Everyone had given her such thoughtful gifts! Gifts for her, not… for her to display to other people.

“Put your hand on that circle thing,” Eda said with a complicated little smile, pointing to the front. Amity did so, then gasped as the faux leather glowed with a pale pink light. “Now the only one who can open it, is you.”

Amity looked from the sketch pad to Eda, astonished.

“Can still rip out pages and burn stuff, if you want,” Eda said, holding up her hands in a ‘it’s up to you’-gesture. “But in case you want to keep it… you can uh, keep it in there.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Amity said in a faint voice, feeling a strange mix of emotions.

“Don’t worry about it, kiddo,” Eda said in her laid back way, giving Amity a crooked smile. To Eda’s surprise, Amity got up from the table and gave her a quick, intense hug.

“Two logs max if it’s a school night, chop wood in the morning,” Amity said quietly.

“That’s… that’s right,” Eda responded, trying not to sound as choked up as she actually was. She patted the kid on the back awkwardly.

Amity stepped back and wiped her eyes, then looked up at Eda.

“Thank you,” she said in an earnest tone of voice.

“Yup,” Eda cleared her throat. “I’ll, um… go check on the cake status, yeah?” she attempted to swagger backwards, but nearly walked into a hedge. Amity smiled down at the sketch pad, then hugged it to her chest.

To Eda’s great relief, the cake arrived at that moment. It was Gilda cake, made by a very proud Luz.

After the delicious cake had been consumed, Morton and Principal Bump thanked them for a lovely evening and departed. Principal Bump had received a little carton of salmon puffs to bring home. As Eda was helping to clear the table, Luz sidled up to her.

“Hey uh, could I borrow Owlbert now?” she asked quietly, looking nervous and excited.

“Sure thing, kid,” Eda responded with a grin. “The rules are?”

“Back in an hour, no loops.”

“You got it.” Eda summoned her staff.

Amity came hurrying over from where she had been talking in intense whispers with Lilith.

“She said yes!” she announced with pink cheeks.

“Okay, byeee!” Luz grabbed the staff and Amity’s hand and ran off down the garden path. They mounted up with a lot of giggles, then took off into the moonlight.

Lilith wandered over, watching the girls fly out of sight. She let out a controlled breath.

“You,” Eda placed a hand on Lilith’s shoulder. “Need a big girl drink. And so do I.”

They sat down on the stairs outside the kitchen door, a glass of amber liquid each.

“So… How does it feel? To technically be a parent, in the eyes of the law?”

Lilith took a deep breath, then sighed it out.

“I’m terrified,” she said with a breath of laughter. “And, I love it.”

“To being scared shit-less, and to never being able to truly relax, ever again — and still loving it,” Eda said with a smirk and held up her drink.

“To being scared shit-less, and to never being able to truly relax, ever again, and still loving it,” Lilith repeated with an amused smile. They clinked glasses, then drank them down in one go.

“I dunno about you, but I’m gonna need at least two more of those,” Eda said hoarsely, thumping her chest.

“At the very least,” Lilith agreed.

They refilled their glasses. A few times.

35

“H-hey, Luz?” Amity said, trying to not sound as absolutely terrified as she actually was.

They had been flying for almost fifteen minutes now.

“Yeah?” Luz turned to look at Amity.

Oh god, she’s so beautiful in the moonlight... Amity’s heart was pounding harder in her chest than when they had taken off earlier. Her throat suddenly felt very dry.

“Would you, um... I mean, do you want... Uh...” Amity stumbled over her words and into silence.

Luz waited a second to see if Amity would continue.

“Do I want... what?” she asked with a smile.

“To uhh...” she swallowed again, her treacherous eyes flicking down to Luz’s lips and back up to her warm, brown eyes turned black and silver under the light of the moon. But she saw another light reflected in them. A... hopeful light. She swallowed a third time. “Would you like to... um... k-kiss?” After a few thundering heartbeats, she added; “Me?”

Luz’s lips parted a moment, then she smiled — it made Amity feel as if she had just been blasted in the face by a burst of hot air. When Luz nodded and wiggled her shoulders excitedly, Amity’s heart sang in celebration.

“I’ve... never kissed anyone before,” Luz admitted with a nervous giggle.

“Neither have I!” Amity said and shook her head quickly. “I’ve — I’ve never met someone I’d like... to kiss... before. You...” she trailed off, trying to find the right words. “I’ve never met anyone... like you... You — you’re... incredible.”

“So are you!” Luz leaned forward slightly. “Oh my gosh, you don’t even know…”

Amity mirrored her movement and both of them giggled nervously. 

“So, um... should we just... try it?” Luz shrugged one shoulder, grinning.

“Y-yeah,” Amity nodded faintly, then put her shoulder to Luz’s to steady herself.

They were just a hand’s width apart now. Amity’s entire field of vision was taken up by Luz’s face. By her warm eyes. Her soft cheeks. Her excited smile. Amity saw Luz’s eyes slowly close and her chin raise ever so slightly.

This is it, Amity thought. Her heart was beating a frantic solo against her ribs, excitement and fear coursing through her veins. She quickly licked her dry lips and leaned in the last few centimeters, closing her eyes as well.

The world stopped. Everything went silent. Luz’s lips were astonishingly soft — Amity hadn’t even dared to imagine what it might be like to actually kiss Luz, but she knew that her mind could never dream up something like this... Her entire body tingled pleasantly all the way down to her toes, which were curling up inside her boots. It felt so right. It felt so exciting! It felt so... safe...

Amity often felt as if ‘she’ (the part of her that did all the thinking, feeling and dreaming and whatnot) was only in her head, somehow sitting in the back of her mind, looking out through two windows. But now, she felt like she was... present? In the entirety of her body. All at once, at the same time.

When they parted, Amity didn’t know how much time had passed. They both giggled and leaned their foreheads together, relaxing. Amity didn’t want to open her eyes just yet. She didn’t want this moment to end. But when she heard Luz gasp, her eyes flew open.

“Oh my gosh...” Luz breathed.

Amity followed Luz’s gaze and looked up at the sky, inhaling sharply in wonder.

The stars shone like they had before, but the moon... The moon had gone dark. They stared up at it in silence, holding hands tightly. Then, a sliver of light appeared on the bottom and slowly made its way across the celestial sphere. It grew brighter and brighter until it almost blinded them. They looked at each other, smiling excitedly.

“... Wwwanna see if it happens again?” Luz giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear, her eyes flicking down to Amity’s lips, then back up into her eyes.

Amity nodded and blushed, glad Luz had been the one to ask this time around. But she forgot to even look at the moon when they split apart. Despite the lack of attention, the moon shone bright and the stars shimmered. And they would continue to do so, all night.

The end

----------

Take a break! Have a drink! Go to the bathroom!

----------

Post story notes! Sticking them here because they're too long!

Preamble-shmeable; these notes were written between 2021 and 2026. Are they in some kind of order? Yes. Is it chronological? No. I’m just gonna go.

About my interpretation of the Blights. When I started writing this, we had just seen the library episode. Ed and Em being so cruel and callous, really shocked me. And I ran with it. And then we had the memory of Amity as a small kid, telling Willow to fuck off. Those shadows on the wall? That’s my Odalia and Alador. In the later episodes, Odalia and Alador appear much different than those shadows, especially Alador. I was thinking of him more like the father of Pacifica Northwest in Gravity Falls. So, I took the shadows and ran with them, too. Call them the darkest interpretation, maybe. I did not expect for Ed and Em to even attempt to redeem themselves as quickly as they did in the show. So yeah.

The cat scene in “You needed me”. Several people have asked about it. I wrote that scene right after my little buddy Eddie passed away. And I thought about the other pets that I lost. I had a cat, named Pysen (kinda means ‘the little guy’). She was big and black and could purr the house down. And also a cat is much easier to encounter in a bedroom. A random scruffy Jack Russell Terrier is a little harder to explain and might be more inclined to dig into the sheets and snuffle and roll around, which would be adorable, but not very helpful to Lilith when she’s having a really fucking awful time. So; cat. The scene was healing to write. Let’s say it was a kind spirit, who gave her a little blessing. Maybe they will bless her again? I may or may not make this cat a supernatural creature that’s some extradimensional god’s familiar, who shows up in more stories than just this one. Maybe perhaps.

*Retconned the Sunday punishment starting time from 06:00 to 08:00 so Lilith didn’t have to rush in the morning.

** In nomine Clawthorne, ego tibi dabo claves ad focis = In the name of Clawthorne, I give you the keys to the hearth.

*** Yes, Amity absolutely slow-blinked at Luz, like a cat.

These post fic notes need a trigger warning: topic of trauma, topic of medical trauma, topic of self harm (no descriptions).

1. I helped out on a big fan made project with the Animation Coven that started in 2021 (I think??). Here’s the full episode! With voice acting! And music! Go watch it? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbQloLWZzVk

2. I think the reason I’ve related so much to Amity and Lilith in the show, is because they’re Autistic coded. The “panic attack” that Amity had in “Knockout” was a meltdown. The “panic attack” in “You needed me” was… a panic attack with meltdown elements. Why? Because I didn’t know my “panic attacks” were meltdowns. Or, a combo. Or a starts off with one, leads to the other kind of situation. Amity also has several shutdowns, or almost shutdowns. Amity standing too close to the fire is a kind of stimming. She is flooding. She is overriding overwhelming sensory or emotional input with something she can control. Also watching fire is a visual stim, just like watching a lava lamp or peering into a kaleidoscope. Lilith’s finger cracking and stroking her collarbone; she’s stimming to regulate. Amity getting up and moving around when she’s overwhelmed or close to overwhelmed? Stimming to regulate. Touching Lilith’s wall as she’s walking? Stimming. She doesn’t like to be touched randomly, because it scares her if she doesn’t know it’s coming; it’s very overwhelming to her. This is also a trauma thing, not just an Autistic thing. Wombo-combo let’s go. She doesn’t know she’s Autistic. Lilith doesn’t know she’s (Lilith) Autistic. Luz doesn’t know she has ADHD; she also stims to regulate or to show how she feels! Her happy wiggles! I didn’t know I was Autistic when I started writing this story. I didn’t start questioning things until… later half of 2019? 2020? After I had already outlined and written most of this story, and this chapter. I didn’t realize that it was flooding that I was describing, during the fire scene, until like, 2023? So I wanted to clear things up a little, here in the notes. How Amity and Lilith think/reflect about self harming, that’s how I’ve thought about self harming. It’s from the perspective of a depressed, traumatized and unrealized Autistic person. So it’s not just flooding, it’s not just pain stimming, it’s not just struggling to cope without having words to describe what you’re feeling, it’s not just self harm because of depression or suppressed trauma. It’s all those things. All tangled up. Yeah. Maybe I just made things a whole lot more confusing for people. Everyone stims. Everyone can flood. Everyone can self harm. If you related to Amity or Lilith as I’ve written them, it doesn’t have to mean you’re Autistic, necessarily. But maybe it’s something to look into? It has given me answers to questions I didn’t even realize were questions that I needed answers to. It has given me words and explanations to things that I’ve done and do that nothing else can explain. My life suddenly makes so much more sense, my family makes so much more sense. Realizing you’re Autistic and getting an official diagnosis are not the same thing. I was officially diagnosed on January 19th, 2026. I fought for six god damn years for that piece of paper (I’m considering getting myself a sword to celebrate). Do I think I’ve been misdiagnosed with things that were actually Autism (plus CPTSD plus PMDD plus some kind of hypermobility disorder)? Yup. That happens too fucking much if you’re AFAB. The system; fucked. The research; outdated. Society; an ableist neurocracy(?) (think the patriarchy but for neurodivergence; neurotypical brains are the norm and if you don’t have one, you’re treated as a second class citizen or worse depending on your intersectional identities and made to believe it’s a you-problem when it’s actually several systems working in tandem to fuck you over). BTW I’m not interested in discussing whether or not you (who’s reading this right now) believe I’m Autistic or not, based purely on how I’ve written this story. If you think “Autistic people don’t have empathy, this story has feelings! LIES! WITCH! FAKER! FAKER for ATTENTION! STEALER OF BENEFITS!” then I say what fucking benefits, go fuck yourself. Rant over?? Yeah. Google is free. Okay rant truly over. Did I write point 3 before point 2? Yes I did. Hopefully it makes sense by the end.

3. Wow, okay... this is the end. I did it. I finished it. Why now, randomly almost four (or five) years later? It was actually because of a recent (not so recent) therapy session, with my new therapist. It made me realize how much this story has meant to me, how much comfort it has given me throughout the years, and how important it is for me to finish it. For my own sake, not just because of incomplete-guilt. In the last few weeks (well, years), I have rediscovered my love for writing and for these characters. And that feels… really good. I have no idea if I’ll ever write another The Owl House story (see further down), but I’m pretty sure I’ll write some other stuff. Maybe, eventually. Will I post it here? Who the fuck knows. I’m not putting pressure on myself to perform. I practically stopped writing this story in November 2020 before my most recent surgery... almost four (five) years ago now, December 2025 (Jesus fucking Christ). Most of this chapter was written before the surgery and remains largely unchanged, even four (five!) years later. Medical trauma, yup, that’ll stop your creative juices flowing. Or at least it stops mine. Sigh. It did not help that there was some truly magnificent family trauma llama drama and new meds and so many doctor’s visits and potential new diagnoses and do I even have a gender??? The answer to that is no; gender sticks to me like rocks to a ceiling. I’m Agender and use they/them pronouns. I remember making some art for international women’s day 2020 and thinking “Hm, this does not apply to me anymore *narrows eyes* wait what”. And oh yeah, the Autism — I’m in the middle of rethinking my entire life, having oh shit moments and epiphanies at random intervals. A lot is going on. Burnout. I’m in burnout. That’s where I’m at, right now. It’s... not exactly ideal. This is where I’m supposed to say “but I’m fine”, right? I’m not, though. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to be okay. I’m on sick leave and will probably be on sick leave for the foreseeable future. And that’s… kinda scary to think about and also a big fucking relief. If I would resume pushing myself through everything, forcing myself to mask as "highly" as I’ve done my entire life, I would just be pushing myself further into the ground. So; resting? (How the fuck do I do that??)

I have only ever really “finished” one longer fanfic or fanfic series before, and when it was over, it made me feel both relieved and sad. And that’s more or less what I’m feeling now. It’s been one hell of a journey. This ending is more or less what I had in mind when I started on ‘There’s a Luz loose in my garden’. It just took me a lot longer to get there than I thought.

Have I ever told you that writing is a great way to process your emotions??? Because it is. Especially fanfiction. Then you don’t have to start from scratch. You can build on what’s already there, or explore things that didn’t happen in canon. Pro tip for writing? Start with the scene you want to write. You don’t have to do it in chronological order. Just fucking... give it a go? Are you going through a difficult time? Write how someone might help your favorite character, if they were going through it. Write sad things? Write extremely happy fluffy things. Write murder mysteries. Write dream scenarios. Write nightmare scenarios. Write horror! Write crossovers! Write singular scenes, or build a super detailed world with intricate and complicated magic systems from scratch. It doesn’t have to be long and it doesn’t have to be perfect (says the perfectionist, I never said I was good at following my own advice, shush). Even if the only person to ever read it is you, it’s still worth writing. Or drawing. And when you’re done, you decide if, when and what you want to share with the world. It can just be for you! Or you can burn it (but do so safely!!). Or smash it (safely!). Or delete it. Print it out, crumple it up. Whatever works for you. The important thing is putting it into words, or shapes. Expressing yourself. That’s the thing. Writing and drawing have been really healing for me, so maybe it can be for you, too. If you do decide to share it, please tag it appropriately and provide trigger warnings, if applicable and where appropriate. Trigger warnings aren’t spoilers. As with everything else; communication is key and consent is not a game.

Stray thought about trigger warnings: you gotta specify what it’s warning about. If you just go “trigger warning” in the beginning it’s like saying “this cake contains allergens”. Which allergens, Brenda? Nuts? What kind of nuts? Lactose? Gluten? Soy? Fruit? What kind of fruit? Be as specific as you can without going into detail, when it comes to trigger warnings for a story or a conversation, but specify the fuck out of cake ingredients. You might be allergic to soy, but not to nuts. If you just say “this cake contains allergens” and don’t specify which, there’s a lot of people that can’t risk eating that cake. Not all cake is for everyone. People who are allergic to things are very aware of that fact, they don’t need to be reminded that once again, they are excluded. I’m thankfully not allergic to any food (afaik) but I have friends who are allergic to gluten and nuts to a dangerous degree and it’s hard for them to find food they can eat safely. The consequences of accidentally consuming something you’re allergic to can range from uncomfortable to literally deadly. Be kind, use trigger warnings. You never know what someone’s going through. You don’t know how sensitive someone’s system is.

I had written an entire scene in “Knockout” that was Amity coping with that overwhelming day by self harming by using her top student pin when she hides in the bathroom. Which is symbolic as all hell. But I decided against it. And I regret not putting it in there. Eda hints at Amity maybe resorting to other ways of taking control if she had no control at home or over her body in “I’m here”. Lilith didn’t realize what she was hinting at, at the time (she was distracted). When I’ve written something and think “oh fuck, no this is too far out there” I try to stop myself from deleting it, because that’s usually an indicator that I should keep it. Those scenes are the most cathartic for me to write and apparently, a lot of people that have read this story can relate to them, or find them cathartic. And that is... extremely validating, thank you.

I never imagined these stories would be read as much as they have been — I had hoped maybe they’d get a couple hundred views over the course of a few weeks, but on some chapters, it got 1000 views in a day. Thank you. Thank you so much for reading. Thank you so much for leaving comments and reviews, Jesus fucking Christ I’ve never gotten so many fucking wonderful comments and reviews! Thank you for the amazing, heartfelt Dms! Thank you for the fanart! Thank you for the fanfics! Thank you for rereading the whole thing, sometimes multiple times! And thank you for asking for permission before translating the entire thing into a whole other language! The response has been so amazing, it doesn’t feel real. Like, I’m just some random Swedish goof sitting in front of a 10+ year old computer, obsessing over various things, like Five Nights At Freddy’s, Deltarune and Poppy Playtime. (┛ಠ_ಠ)┛彡ʞɔnɟ ǝɥʇ (I’m not fishing for compliments, I’m genuinely confused)

I do want to apologize for something; I stopped responding to comments. Sorry about that. I stopped because, well, at first it was because I was recovering from surgery and then it just felt like too much time had passed to respond, but the comments kept rolling in every so often and I just... got overwhelmed when I logged onto Ao3 and saw my inbox. I have read all of them. I have cried over many of them (in a good way!!!). Thank you for posting them. I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I'll try to do so for new ones, if there are new ones.

I’ve learned a lot about myself while writing this story and I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people because of it. It has made me feel productive when I’ve had nothing else to do. It has led to so many commissions! It even resulted in some prints for the The Owl House crew. (I still can’t believe that happened) Writing this story has been cathartic. It has been overwhelming. It has been fun. It has been stressful. It has been… healing.

Am I writing a final final for real last arc whenever inspiration strikes? Yes. I want to leave these characters in a good place. This end is a good place, don’t get me wrong. But I do want to finish Luz and Lilith’s journeys with the super ouchies (and some other things). I know what it’s like to be left hanging with no solid answer. I don’t want to do that to either of them, fictional or not. And if I were a reader of this story? Then I’d want an answer too. And it has been very hard writing that. It’s cathartic, yes. It’s helping me process, yes. But still hard. I can do hard things (and so can you). And it’s allowed to take a long time to get done. So, don’t ask me when, because I don’t know. It’s a ding dang angst bomb. So, yeah. You got that to look forward to.

I’m focusing on moving right now, though. That’s taking so long. Gwauuurrrggh! This google doc is 99 pages. Holy shitting fuck.

Thank you everyone for reading and for your patience, please tell me what you thought about this part, or the series as a whole, in the comments below.

Awkwardly sincerely yours,
Fry