Work Text:
The morning of April 16th, Kate woke up to an alarm. Three times.
“Eva,” she grumbled into the pillow, “if you don’t turn that damn alarm off and get out of bed, I swear-”
“Mmph,” was the response behind her, an arm tightening around her waist.
Kate sighed, shaking her head a little. “Okay, but just remember, I warned you,” she said, even having the decency to wait another few seconds before jabbing an elbow backwards. It met warm, soft skin, and Eva yelped, the arm around her falling away.
“Hey!” she said around a yawn.
“Go get ready for work,” Kate said, not even turning to look at her.
The arm returned, and despite herself, Kate shifted towards her, softening into her embrace as Eva kissed her neck. “Aw, but you’d miss me,” Eva murmured against her skin.
Before Kate could answer, Eva’s phone began to ring again from the nightstand, and Kate flipped over to glare at her as she sat up to turn it off.
“Yeah, okay, I’m going,” Eva said, yawning again through a guilty smile. Kate rolled her eyes and rolled over again, already knowing she wasn’t going to fall back asleep before her own alarm went off in half an hour. Eva quickly got dressed and then disappeared out their bedroom door, and after a moment of contemplation of whether the money she would make today was really worth getting out of bed, and concluding that it was, Kate reached for her phone, blinking against the light.
The date at the top struck her, but for a second, she couldn’t figure out why. April 16th… something was important about today. She thought about it as she decided to just bite the bullet and get up now, as she sifted through the closet and picked out something to wear, while Eva’s music began to filter through the room from the kitchen and the smell of coffee filled their apartment.
And then it hit her, halfway down the hallway. She stopped in her tracks, fingers halfway through combing through her hair, just around the corner from where Eva was obliviously humming along.
Chess’s birthday.
Fuck.
All at once, she felt the crushing guilt of forgetting a day she used to count down to. Ten years ago, she’d have woken up on Chess’s bedroom floor, the two of them whispering and giggling to each other while they waited for Chess’s mom to come get them for her birthday breakfast—French toast, always. Chess liked maple syrup and blueberries, Kate liked powdered sugar and strawberries. Kate’s present for Chess would’ve been tucked into her sleepover bag, carefully wrapped with a handwritten card, picked out and waiting on her desk for at least two weeks because nothing was more important than-
“Oh, fuck,” Kate mumbled to herself, bracing one hand on the wall. “Fuck. Shit.”
The humming paused from the kitchen, and Kate covered her eyes with one hand, drawing in a shaking breath. The music volume lowered, and then there was a hand touching her wrist and another on her waist, but Kate took a step back and the hands didn’t follow.
“Hey,” Eva said softly. “What, too early? You can go back to bed, you know.”
Kate tried to smile, knowing Eva was just trying to help, but it didn’t quite work, and she lowered her hand to wrap her arms around herself. “It’s Chess’s birthday.”
Eva pressed her lips together and nodded. “Right. Shit. That’s today.”
Neither of them said anything for a long, long moment. Eva’s music kept playing from the kitchen, and though it didn’t match her mood, Kate was grateful for the lack of silence.
“I hope she’s having a good one,” Kate finally said. “Or, shit, I guess- she’s probably not awake yet, it’s fucking early there. I hope she’s still asleep. I hope it’s a good day when she wakes up.”
Eva leaned against the wall, mirroring Kate. “I’m sure it will be.” She opened her mouth to say something, but then seemed to think better of it and stopped herself.
“What?” Kate asked anyway.
Eva hesitated for a moment. “You could… text her. Just let her know you’re thinking of her.”
“She wouldn’t want to hear from me.”
Eva shrugged. “Would you want to hear from her? On your birthday?”
Kate started to answer and found she couldn’t. “I… you’re gonna be late.”
Eva blinked, like she was coming back to reality, but then smiled and let Kate change the topic. “Pssh, no, I’m not. I’ve got this down to a science, baby.”
Kate reached out and gently shoved her shoulder, rolling her eyes. “Just go get ready.”
“You want coffee or tea today?” Eva asked, disappearing back into the kitchen.
“Coffee.” She needed something to keep her awake today.
Not quite ready to face her again, Kate went back into their room to make the bed, her mind wandering too much to even be tempted to crawl back between the still-warm sheets. She retrieved the pillows from the floor one at a time, smoothed the comforter more than was really necessary, and rearranged the throw blanket twice, desperate to keep her hands busy so they wouldn’t reach for the phone on the dresser.
She was fine. It had been years. This was far from the first birthday that had passed. On her own birthday last month, she’d been fine without her.
But would you have wanted to have heard from her?
A gentle knock on the open door caught her attention, and she turned to see Eva place a mug down on the dresser next to her phone.
“I gotta get going,” she said softly, leaning against the doorframe. “Are you gonna be okay?”
Kate managed a smile this time that hopefully reached her eyes. “Yeah, of course.” She crossed the room to kiss her goodbye. “I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
“Mm, okay.” Eva leaned in and stole another kiss. “I’m gonna brush my teeth and go.”
“You’re so going to be late.”
Eva turned to her and pointed at her watch, walking backwards to the bathroom. “I have nothing but time!”
“Mm-hmm, yeah.” Kate waited until the bathroom door shut to turn towards the dresser, picking up the coffee mug and taking a slow sip while she avoided looking at her phone.
Fuck.
Some part of her knew the moment Eva said it that she was going to do it anyway. She had to, right?
After all… she’d want to hear from Chess. She knew she would.
She made herself wait until she heard Eva’s keys click in the lock, until her footsteps disappeared down the hall outside their apartment. She told herself it was because she wanted to be sure, but she knew she just needed privacy to write this text.
It took her long enough to write that she knew she was going to have to skip breakfast and rush to get ready for work, but this felt important. She hit send just before locking the door and immediately turned on Do Not Disturb, stuffing her phone deep into her pocket and pushing down the lump of anxiety in her chest.
hey, happy 24th! ik we haven’t talked in a while but i hope you’re doing well. i hope today is really great for you. i hope you’re so, so happy. you deserve that.