Chapter Text
Mike sat at his typewriter, it’s been days now. Locked in his childhood bedroom typing away. It had only been a week since graduation. He seldomly looks at the photo of El propped at his desk. His El, his world. His world had ceased to exist shortly after her Disappearance. He refuses to believe otherwise, at the possibility of her death. She disappeared from this world one year and six months ago.
Mike contained his tears as he wrote, he was determined to rewrite her story, His story. He would never be able to see himself the same ever again after that day. Mike had become obsessed with rewriting that day over and over again to make it perfect, or at least sincere. To see his Mage with a happy ending. Tears began to flow as he wrote thinking about what he could have said, what he could have done to change her outcome. To live somewhere far away with three waterfalls. Deep down Mike knows himself that he feels like a coward. He was a coward, he used to be Mike the brave. He lost that courage years ago. He wonders why he can’t understand why he couldn’t say it to her. The moments of her before… her disappearance.
Mike knows why he just won’t accept it. He won’t accept the guilt and the pain of the torture he put her through. He put him through. Him.. Mike feels guilty thinking about him. Thinking about Will Byers. His Best Friend? He wasn’t sure how to describe what Will was to Mike. He tries to repress the pain in his chest at the thought of his face. Mike starts to shake, as he remembers Will as a kid, remembering how he treated him. Will was in so much pain when he came out to them. Mike was supposed to protect him to stop the pain like he always did when growing up. Mike was brave, he was always by wills side no matter what. He advocated for will when no one else did, he never wanted to yell at him. He always spoke softly with him, tiptoeing over every single word.
Mike always wanted to be with Will for the rest of his life.
He always imagined them together when they grew up. As illustrators and authors of comic books. In Mike's mind they would come together everyday for the rest of their lives selling and creating comics. At 14 years old he thought about them making comics based off of their experience with the upside down.
That didn’t matter now because even then at 14 he knew it was weird to think that way about Will. To always believe they would be together forever and never apart, not even for a second. Mike straightens up at his desk trying to compose himself. He needed to get out of this room and take a walk or something to clear his head.
Mike headed downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He grabs a glass from the cabinet, He walks over to the sink and fills the glass half full until he hears a ring. He stops the tap and places the glass to walk towards the phone. Mike picks up the phone, “Hello?”
“Is this Mike?”
“Yes, its me”
“Hey Mike, sorry for the abrupt call this is Will I’m getting ready to pack for you know college. I forgot a jacket in your basement I think a few days ago. Can I come and pick it up?”
“Yeas that's fine Will”
"Thanks Mike I will be there soon."
Mike hangs up the phone and walks back to his glass. His palms start to sweat, he's getting nervous and for what? Maybe it's the guilt for what he's done to Will over the years, I mean he apologized for not noticing Will's crisis. A very important crisis, but he never apologized for how he treated him in Lenora or even how he treated him when he was dating El. The guilt is starting to catch up, he will be the only one of the party with the saddest ending. An ending absent of bravery and courage but one with cowardness and ignorance.
Mike takes his half empty glass, (He has no motivation to fill it anymore) and goes down to the basement. He looks in the couch cushions under chairs and in corners to find Will's jacket. He finds it on the floor near the broiler. It was a bright yellow jacket, Mike remembers how Will would always used to wear yellow. Like he was a ray of sunshine every way he went. He walks towards the door but stops in front of the bookshelf. He glances at the DnD binders displayed neatly in a row. He grazes his finger on the spine of the binders. Slowly touching each letter of Will’s name. He wishes he could go back in time and tell him the truth, to tell them all the truth. The truth about his cowardness, his truth about his coldness, why he felt that he couldn’t share a part of him. To share his heart.
He had always been the heart, Will had told them that. Because of what Will had said he had the courage to say something that could help El. He couldn’t help but feel so stupid. Mike drinks his water and goes up stairs into the dining room to wait for Will.
After a few minutes of waiting the doorbell rings. Mike opens the door. Will stands there with a straight numb face. Mike noticed today, he remembers when he always used to notice how Will felt. Mike opens his mouth to say something but couldn’t find the words and says nothing.
Will starts for him.
“Hey Mike I know you're busy and all sorry again for bargaining in. I just need my jacket.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah. I found it near the broiler. Here you go.”
“Thanks”
“Um sorry to ask this but Will, are you ok?”
Will looks at him and laughs. Mike looks a little hurt, He didn’t expect him to laugh at it. He was being genuine.
“ When was the last time you asked me a question like that, Mike? It's been so long I can’t even remember. I don’t ever expect it anymore, of you asking me how I feel. I had accepted that a long time ago.”
Mike stands there stunned. He Really had hurt Will, and because of his stupid pride and selfishness he never really asked how Will was doing.
“I uh- Sorry Will. I know I have never really been very expressive about anything, especially for the last few years. And I really do mean that, that I’m sorry for- everything.”
Will stands there. He looks like he's gonna cry, He can’t do that again. Not in front of Mike, Not when he was never gonna see him again or maybe in a few years. He couldn’t just pour his heart out about the years of pain Mike has caused him.
Mike stands there feeling sorry. It was pathetic how he felt.
Mike took a deep breath and said “I know, Will I have been unfair to you for the past few years and I’m sorry I really am I want to tell you properly this time.”
“ Mike, I don't have time for this right now. I'm about to go to college for god sake. You always choose to have a one on one when it’s too late. You take too long to realize how much of a piece of shit you really have been! To me, to El! I just can’t look at you right now Mike. I need to start fresh without all this- baggage! this pain!”
Mike stood there his heart had plummeted to the floor, a part of him wished he had stayed upstairs in his room.
“ I’m sorry Will, I know I was supposed to be your protector, that was my job. I should have come with you to take you home that night in November. You would have been safe. But..”
“But what mike???!! Do you really think this is about that? That was not your fault at all, how can you be so clueless??”
“Forget the but. I just thought that's what you meant by the pain from the upside down. That had to be hard for you.”
“You have to be the stupidest person I know Mike. You know what, I just don’t want to talk about this. Thanks for the jacket. I won’t ever disrupt you and your stupid delusions ever again. And yes I’m talking about El she died I know she did.”
Will gets back on his bike and quickly bikes home. Tears flooded his eyes.