Archive of Our Own

The thing about having a dry love life, Hyunjae thinks, is that he never quite expects something to happen that threatens that status quo.

Here he is, though, flipping over the business card in his hands, the words text me scribbled onto it in clean, cute hangul. He barely caught a glimpse of the girl who had pressed it into his hands, before she had already excused herself with a red face and grabbed her friend by the wrist, dragging her along to leave.

Hyunjae sighs, letting the card drop next to his notebook, and stares back at the screen. At this point, he shouldn't be allowed to complain about the lack of romance in his life - he's getting talked up at a cafe, and he's disappointed that it wasn't a model scout instead.

And he all but forgets about the piece of paper too until Sangyeon comes around his table after a while. It's almost closing time, the cafe has grown quiet, so Sangyeon is already wiping down the tables, and when Hyunjae hurries to remove his books and notebook from his spot, the offending card lands on the floor between them.

It's Sangyeon who picks it up.

"Oh? Did someone try to scout you?" he asks with a chuckle. His mouth forms into a small oh when he finally spots what's written on its back.

"No, hyung," Hyunjae accepts the business card back begrudgingly. Sangyeon can keep it for all he cares. "God hates me and my pretty face."

Sangyeon frowns at him. "Isn't getting asked out much nicer?" He bumps Hyunjae's shoulder lightly and takes a seat by his table, breathing out a tired sigh. His collar is slightly crooked, and a strand of hair is hanging into his forehead, and yet, somehow even the exhaustion on his face manages to be a handsome look on Sangyeon.

Hours of studying probably don't do Hyunjae the same favor. He pouts, flipping the paper card between his fingers. "I guess I just like some good pining from afar before exchanging phone numbers."

"And on how many dates have you been recently?"

"How rude!" Absolutely none is the answer. "I'm so busy studying, I don't have the time to indulge in the pleasures of romance."

Sangyeon hums, amused. Does he know Hyunjae was staring at him from afar earlier? He certainly tries not to do so now, when Sangyeon crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"Are you gonna text her?"

Hyunjae huffs, an assured no already on the tip of his tongue, before he deflates. Shouldn't he? It's not like he hasn't tried going out with people; but one year of failed dates had made staying in with Sunwoo and Chanhee and being their third wheel while listening to their weird movie commentary more fun than going out on a Friday night.

On the other hand, even his parents have started bugging him about being single. He knows it's a waste of his good looks - he just doesn't need his parents to remind him of it. Life is unfair enough as it is, Sangyeon never even takes a double take at him when he enters the room.

"Probably," he settles on eventually.

Sangyeon lets out a snort. "Go easy on the enthusiasm there."

Hyunjae groans, burying his head in his hands. "I don't know. I barely even saw her, I can't even tell you if she's my type," he says, voice muffled. "But I don't want to die alone, hyung."

"You won't die alone, Hyunjae-ah."

Hyunjae throws him a pitiful look. "My parents seem to think that," he whines. In a cute way, hopefully. It's never cute when he starts rambling, though, he knows as much. "It's always When are you going to find someone? You're almost thirty! And never Oh, you passed one semester without failing more than two classes, we're so proud of you, and - hyung, I'm not that old! I don't want to get married yet, I haven't even found an internship for the next semester, how am I supposed to find someone that I like enough to introduce my parents to?"

Sangyeon eyes him with some pity but mostly just sympathy. Hyunjae doesn't expect him to understand anyway. Like Kevin always reminds him of: Hyunjae benefits from nepotism more often than not. But it's Sangyeon who actually his life in order - he goes to work and finds enjoyment in it, even if it's unforgiving at times. He finds enough energy to follow his passion in acting, all the while balancing being the basketball team's captain and getting good grades.

A sigh leaves Hyunjae. "My parents would love you. You're, like, the perfect person to show off. Maybe I should just take you back home to get them to shut up."

It's a stupid idea, and he's sure it works in all the romance books he loves to pretend that he doesn't read, but there are only two ways fake dating would end for them in real life: He would either embarrass himself in front of Sangyeon so badly that even Sangyeon wouldn't be able to be nice about it anymore. Or it would worsen the problem. His parents would love Sangyeon, no doubt. Then it would be oh, when are you bringing Sangyeon over again? and Be a good boyfriend to him or he'll break up with you, instead and that's not quite the solution to his current problem - he just wants to be left alone when it comes to his dating life.

Besides the fact that Hyunjae isn't quite sure how he'd manage being Sangyeon's boyfriend for a day and then not want more of it.

Hyunjae locks in on the smile that is spreading over Sangyeon's face - warm and bashful and flattered, like it's a love confession that he's happy to accept, but before he's able to joke about it, Sangyeon's already asking, "You think I'd be a good boyfriend?"

"A fake one, hyung," Hyunjae explains, giving Sangyeon a coy grin. "I'm sure you'd be good boyfriend in general. But I was thinking of one evening. You know - if my parents saw that I'm in good hands, then they would leave me be."

Sangyeon falters, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "Oh. You… want me to be your fake boyfriend?"

Hyunjae lets out a laugh to hide his embarrassment. The joke is stupid too, but by now, Sangyeon should be used to him running his mouth without thinking. "I'm just kidding, hyung. That would never work out."

Sangyeon lets out a contemplative hum and stays quiet for long enough that Hyunjae wonders if he somehow messed up. An interested glimmer appears in Sangyeon's eyes, though, and while Hyunjae is the one to come up with bad ideas in their dynamic, it's often enough Sangyeon to make them worse. In his humble opinion, that is what makes them work so well, but in this case, Hyunjae wishes Sangyeon would just forget about it and let him live.

"Don't look so interested, you weirdo!"

"You suggested it! And I don't know, I could put my acting skills to good use," Sangyeon says, the corners of his lips pulling up. "Maybe you'd finally get it, since you never come to my plays."

"I forgot about it once, oh my god, let it rest."

"And I guess I am honoured you think I'd be the ideal partner to show off." Sangyeon's tone is teasing, but there's a glow about him that says that he actually feels flattered. "What makes you think we couldn't pull it off enough for it to work? It would be for one dinner only, right?"

"Yeah," Hyunjae agrees. Why is he agreeing? Something about what he said had triggered Sangyeon's ego, and now they were actually discussing it? "I'm sure my parents would believe you, but they'd love you so much that they'd want to see you every weekend. They'd just become more annoying."

"Or maybe it'd work out and they'd stop bugging you," Sangyeon hums. "They don't care as much about who you date as much as they care about that you're dating, right?"

"I guess…" Hyunjae mumbles, gaze flickering between Sangyeon and the phone number in his hand, before he lets out a sigh. He's a weirdo himself, he can't really complain about Sangyeon playing along. And if Sangyeon wanted to use this as an acting excersize, then fine - why not? Who knew what would become of it. Worst case, he'd have to tell his parents that they broke up, but best case he'd actually catch a break from all the questions. "You're really down for it?"

Sangyeon smiles. "Sure. Yeah, why not?" he says. "I don't see why we couldn't try it out."

Hyunjae sees quite a few reasons to not try it out actually. One, there's the fact that he has had a crush on Sangyeon for such a long time that it's embarrassing for someone his age. Two, there's no way he's going to survive one dinner of dating without wanting more to come out of it. And three… it feels weirdly intimate to introduce his parents to someone that he likes so much. Actually, it's quite an intimidating thought.

Still, as he takes in Sangyeon's open expression, the way he offers it with no judgement in his voice… Well, maybe it wouldn't be that scary together. If Sangyeon doesn't see anything wrong with, then there's nothing to it, right?

"Yeah," Hyunjae says, nodding. "Yeah, sure, what's the worst thing that can happen?"

Hyunjae can tell himself that all he wants. But somehow, he still feels like an idiot.

"You're such an idiot."

"I miss the days when you used to be nice to me." Hyunjae pouts when Chanhee hands him another book to hold. "What happened to that?"

"I'm nice when you deserve it," Chanhee answers, browsing through the bookshelf in front of him. As much as that is possible with Hyunjae talking his ear off. "And this is just stupid. I'm not gonna pretend that I'm supporting it."

"How is having a fake boyfriend worse than having an unrequited crush?" Hyunjae asks defiantly. "I could even hold his hand if I wanted to."

Chanhee snorts. "Yeah, because that's the only way you could've achieved that," he says, turning to Hyunjae again. "Weren't you planning to ask him out? At some point at least?"

Hyunjae worries his lip between his teeth. Sure, at some point he did. He can't pinpoint when his confidence had left him, but at some point they were so grooved into their friendship that Hyunjae had let it slide and tucked his feelings back into the corner of his heart where they had come from. So what if he's scared that Sangyeon wouldn't say yes to a real date? It's humiliating, that kind of rejection, and even though at some point, he might have felt like there might be something more to Sangyeon's glances at him, the longer nothing happened between them, the more Hyunjae had written it off as something out of his fantasy. Perhaps he hadn't made a move, but Sangyeon definitely would have if he had had any interest in Hyunjae as well.

The silence stretches on between them. Chanhee doesn't mind; he's taking his sweet time guiding Hyunjae through the library as his personal book carrier.

"So when are you going out?"

Hyunjae blinks. "Oh. We said next week. I still need to ask my parents, though."

Chanhee raises an eyebrow in question.

"I haven't had the time to ask yet!" Hyunjae complains, too loudly. "You know how busy they are."

"I do know, that's why you should ask now," Chanhee says, cocking his head at him. "They won't become less busy over time."

"They'll have time for their only son," Hyunjae argues, and it sounds disheartened even to his own ears. "They wanted me to find someone, they should make time for the official meeting."

Chanhee presses his lips together, before he lets out a sigh and lifts the books from Hyunjae's arms to take them himself. "Sometimes it's not bad to talk back to them," he says, surprisingly gentle. "You don't need to go through elaborate plots to make them happy. They need a reality check from time to time."

Hyunjae swallows, heart stuck in his throat. "I know," he says, and then more confidently, "I know. It's just that one evening."

"If you ask me, you didn't plan it out nearly enough. Even if it's just one evening," Chanhee says. "There's still enough time to cancel on Sangyeon, you know? Cancel and ask him out for real."

"Giving up now would be embarrassing."

The you're embarrassing seems to be the loudest thought in Chanhee's mind right now, but it seems like it's one of his nicer days, as he only gives Hyunjae a mild smile. "Alright. I'll keep my schedule clear if your plan goes up in flames. Just in case."

"There's nothing that can burn," Hyunjae says, bluffing. "I have a five step plan, and it's going to go so great."

Only a few days pass, and somehow Hyunjae's mind produces one or two scenarios in which they do start acting like a couple all of a sudden. None of them come true when he picks Sangyeon up from basketball practice - Sangyeon smiles all the same when he spots Hyunjae waiting for him. The only weird thing about it is Juyeon's thumbs up from across the hall, that Hyunjae simply adds to his weird things Juyeon sometimes likes to do list. Other than that it's a perfectly normal Tuesday. Sangyeon's overly excited about the takeout chicken that Hyunjae picked up for them, and Hyunjae whines enough for Sangyeon to buy him a coffee on the way to his place.

"It looks like it's about to snow, doesn't it," Sangyeon hums just when they arrive by his building. "Doesn't it make you crave ice cream too?"

"What the hell is wrong with you," Hyunjae says, shivering. "I didn't buy you any if that's what you're getting at."

As much as Hyunjae likes Sangyeon, he's not going to support his blasphemous dessert tastes that come out whenever it starts getting cold outside. Once, when they had first met, Hyunjae was sure that Sangyeon only said these things to rile him up. It quickly turned out that - no, Sangyeon was just weird.

Go figure what that says about Hyunjae's taste.

They end up at Sangyeon's kitchen table, facing each other, which is normal, but makes it seem all the more like a salary negotiation in Hyunjae's humble opinion. He had patted himself on the shoulder for how this isn't affecting their friendship at all, but - isn't it awkward after all? He's not sure how to interpret the silence between them anymore, nor does he know if their conversation is like usual. Forget it, maybe things aren't good after all, and all of this is way worse than in Hyunjae's head -

And then, as if Sangyeon is reading Hyunjae's mind: "We're still on for next week, right?"

"Yeah," Hyunjae says, almost inclined to believe that Sangyeon's able to read his mind. What did Chanhee say about this whole thing again? Something about cancelling… something about asking Sangyeon out… something about them not having a plan… Oh yeah, the plan. "Do we have a game plan yet?"

"We just need to settle on a few things, right?" Sangyeon says. "How we - started going out and all that? So that we don't start talking about different things if your parents ask."

"Sounds smart," Hyunjae answers absentmindedly and reaches out to dab at Sangyeon's cheek with a tissue when he spots it covered in some sauce. "My parents know that I have been single for months now, so we can't have been together for that long."

Sangyeon just nods to this, mouth opening like he's going to say something, so Hyunjae waits for a bit, in case he wanted to add something at all.

When Sangyeon still doesn't, Hyunjae continues: "So how did you fall in love with me?"

Sangyeon chokes on his chicken. "Oh, uh - " He frowns, cocking his head at Hyunjae, as if waiting for him to explain while he is trying not to die from coughing.

"You know," Hyunjae goes on, gesturing with his hand vaguely. "When and how - we should have a cute backstory."

"Oh. Oh," Sangyeon finally lets out, clearing his throat as he sits up. "We've been together for two days, there's not much of a timeline, is there?"

"No, but you fell in love with me before asking me out."

"I asked you out?" Sangyeon asks. "And I was in love with you? That's a bit straightforward. I don't even know if you make for a good date, I can't be in love already."

Hyunjae pouts. "We've been friends for so long! You know that I'm a catch."

"Sure, let's say you are." He seems to take pleasure in watching Hyunjae's pout grow. That's so rude. "Okay, and - as luck would have it, I'm actually a firm believer in love at first sight. I must've been waiting to ask you out since the first time we met."

"Didn't you have a girlfriend when we first met?" Hyunjae asks him, like a menace. "What would she say if she heard that?"

"She wouldn't say anything because I haven't talked to her in two years."

"That's a shame. She was so cute. Why did you even break up?"

"We just didn't have much in common," Sangyeon says. "And I didn't really have the time for a relationship."

That's mildly new information to Hyunjae. Not like he had ever properly asked; by the time Sangyeon and his ex had broken up, Hyunjae was dating someone already; and by the time that ended, he and Sangyeon had settled into a comfortable friendship that anything else would have made it weird.

Fake dating, of course, isn't going to disturb that peace as much as finding the courage to change their relationship status.

"So, okay." So Sangyeon plays along. "Let's say I realised that I had fallen in love with you when, uh, you showed up with your date at Chanhee's Christmas party."

“Oh my god, Jongin?” He had almost forgotten that - they had been together for what? A month? He's surprised Sangyeon even remembers that party, but Sangyeon is also right. It could be used for their fake dating; the closer to reality, the better. "Did you want to fight him over me?"

"No, I wanted you to be happy," Sangyeon says, putting on a serious frown in turn. "That's why I didn't make move in the first place."

"We weren't together for that long. You could have, afterwards," Hyunjae challenges. "What stopped you?"

“Maybe I didn’t want to ruin our friendship."

“That’s such a good buildup,” Hyunjae coos. “Doesn't it sound like we're starcrossed lovers? Keeping our feelings hidden because the right moment never came."

Sangyeon's eyes seem to soften on him. "So you’ve been pining for me too?" he asks, turning back to his food. It must be spicier than Hyunjae ordered it; Sangyeon's cheeks are dusted in a warm pink.

Hyunjae pushes the soda can closer to Sangyeon. “Me?” Why, yes, he had been pining for Sangyeon anyway while going out with Jongin, he is that kind of pathetic. "I just decided to give you a chance when you asked me out."

Sangyeon frowns. It's sadly a little hot. "If there's pining involved, then I'm not going to be the only one who did it."

Hyunjae lets out a hum while poking at his chicken. He has to wreck his brain for an idea that doesn't fully put him on the spot. "Then… I guess I started coming to your basketball games more often and just started noticing how cool you were."

"Oh." Sangyeon looks a weird mix between flattered and disappointed. He doesn't seem like he has suddenly figured out Hyunjae's blatant crush on him, though, so that's all good. "What about my plays?"

Hyunjae blinks. "Your plays?"

"If you noticed how cool I was at my basketball games, did you think I was cool on stage?" Sangyeon asks. "Be honest. But also, there's only one correct answer."

"Hyung, did you see your outfit during your last play? No offense but - "

“Alright, I don't want to hear it."

"What? You wanted to know," Hyunjae cackles, unabashedly. "I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face if I told my parents about it."

Somehow they fall into contemplative silence after that. Nevermind that Hyunjae regretted this the second they had decided on it; talking about it in so much detail makes him feel even more awkward about it. Sangyeon is an actor - it would be easy for him to put on a show. Hyunjae, though, has only ever been good at hiding his feelings behind jokes.

"Is this weird?" Hyunjae asks, not quite meeting Sangyeon's eyes, as he starts gathering up the empty takeout boxes.

Sangyeon’s smile looks too sympathetic. He's always so nice about things, Hyunjae doesn't know how. Just as insane about things as Hyunjae, but infinitely more kind about it.

Sangyeon extends his hand, and Hyunjae stares at it stupidly.

"Take it," Sangyeon urges with a click of his tongue when Hyunjae makes no move.

Hyunjae throws him another pout. He hesitates for a moment, but then cautiously takes Sangyeon's hand, intertwining their fingers together over the table. Sangyeon's palm feels unexpectedly soft. Hyunjae has no idea why he ever thought Sangyeon's hands would be rough and calloused; perhaps because they look strong and sturdy and Hyunjae has spent nights thinking about them, but they're just as gentle as Sangyeon's thumb brushing over his wrist, and Hyunjae feels mesmerized by the way their hands fit together like it is meant to be. Star-crossed lovers and all that.

"Let's give it a chance before deciding if it's weird, yeah? It’s all worth it if it helps keeping your parents off your back. It doesn't have to be weird."

"I guess," Hyunjae says, pressing his lips together. "I didn't really expect you to say yes, to be honest."

Sangyeon cocks his head at him. "Why?" he asks. "I'm always here to help you, in any way I can."

Maybe because it's a little too much for a friend of two years; or maybe it's bordering too much on the kind of trust Hyunjae would wish to put into a partner. He didn't expect Sangyeon to help because why would he go out of his way this much?

"Thank you. I appreciate it a lot," Hyunjae says instead, and Sangyeon smiles, wide and happy, and Hyunjae's mouth curls up into a grin as well. "Please take care of me well, hyung. You're the first boyfriend I've had in a while," he adds, flirty and sweet, and a little too exaggerated to be taken seriously.

He sputters out a laugh when Sangyeon's ears turn red. Sangyeon sighs and pulls his hand away. "And here I was trying to reassure you."

"No, keep reassuring me, please," Hyunjae laughs, reaching out for Sangyeon as his warmth left him too early. "You're my boyfriend, it's your job to keep me happy from now on!"

"Alright, boyfriend," Sangyeon says and gets up from the table. "Help me with cleaning up."

"I got the food! You should be more considerate on our first ever date."

"It's a shared responsibility now." Sangyeon has the audacity to mess up his hair. He lets out a dramatic sigh when Hyunjae tries to slap him away. "I'm starting to see all the advantages now too! We should have thought of this earlier."

Sangyeon, somehow, keeps him glued to his phone.

Sunwoo eyes him more than usual over breakfast when he sees Hyunjae grinning down at his screen, slurping on his cereal like it personally offends him. And to be fair, usually Hyunjae's texting habits resemble those of an old man - the most he can do are one word answers and a single thumbs up he has copied from Juyeon's tendency of being as vague as possible.

It just started with Hyunjae annoying Sangyeon over text after their first fake date, and it somehow escalated into Sangyeon sending him updates throughout the day and Hyunjae's feelings acting up whenever he saw another notification pop up. Especially when Sangyeon sends him a picture of him and his nephews from the day before. It's so cute. Sangyeon's nephew is trying to climb Sangyeon's shoulder, and the dimples showing on Sangyeon's cheek make Hyunjae overflow with fondness.

Hyunjae:

your nephews are so cute

when are you gonna introduce us? :(

Not the right thing to say to your fake boyfriend, Hyunjae feels like. It doesn't take Sangyeon long to answer, anyway.

Sangyeon:

They would love a second uncle

That's also not the thing to say to your fake boyfriend, but Hyunjae bites down a smile as his heart makes a jump.

Hyunjae:

do they accept sweets as a bribe?

Sangyeon:

They're seven and five

You don't need to bribe them, Hyunjae-ah

Hyunjae:

don't want to risk it when it's your nephews

are you still with them? put a good word in

Sangyeon:

No I'm back home already

I'm working an afternoon shift today

Hyunjae:

oh should i come visit you? <3

Sangyeon:

You only ever come over for the free drinks

Hyunjae:

what a rude accusation

you should be nicer to me :(

what example are your nephews going to grow up with

Sangyeon:

Alright, honey

Did you have breakfast yet? <3

Hyunjae lets out a noise. "He called me honey."

Sunwoo eyes him warily across the breakfast table, mouth full of cornflakes. "You're such a loser."

A shiver of a deja-vu runs through Hyunjae.

"Says you! Chew before you speak."

"At least I have a real boyfriend."

Hyunjae gapes at him. Why isn't he surprised that Chanhee ratted him out? Now his best friend and his roommate have both conspired against him together.

"You're just lucky it was raining on your first date. Chanhee had no other choice than to get into that beat-down car with you if he didn't want to get wet."

Sunwoo's eyes turn big. "Don't talk about her like that," he says. "You don't know how many memories a car like that can hold."

"I don't want to know either."

Sangyeon:

Speaking of, when are we meeting on Sunday?

Sangyeon's question makes Hyunjae pause.

He - Oh. oh god, wait. It's Friday already.

Hyunjae actually hasn't asked his parents about that dinner yet.

Chanhee warned him it would happen; but alas, Chanhee also sounds like the voice of reason in his head that Hyunjae likes to ignore. And he was very reasonable in suggesting that Hyunjae talk to his parents right away, however - in his Sangyeon induced state, he had been far more ready to celebrate the fact that fake dating does allow him to hold Sangyeon's hand, rather than do anything to make the dinner happen.

What he had done, however, was confirm with Sangyeon that their date is already set and planned.

It's fine, though. It's not a big deal. Just like getting called honey over breakfast. Hyunjae is coping well. He drops his phone with a sigh, deciding to deal with it later on.

"What's up with you anyway?" Sunwoo asks with a frown. "Shouldn't you have a set date first before the fake dating happens?"

"What do you even know?" Hyunjae groans. Too much, Sunwoo knows too much, he's too nosy, and his boyfriend likes to gossip too much.

Sunwoo shrugs. "I know that I never would have agreed to fake dating you."

"No," Hyunjae snorts. "I never would have asked you anyway."

"I'm just saying," Sunwoo says. "I would never go out of my way to do this for you. And I don't know anyone who would do the same for me. You're telling me Sangyeon has no problem with that?"

"He's doing this from the goodness of his heart," Hyunjae says, frowning. "Of course he's doing this."

"You're not stupid, hyung, so why are you acting like this?" Sunwoo leans in closer. "The only one I'd let drag me to fake dates willingly is Chanhee."

Hyunjae's frown deepens. Sunwoo would let Chanhee do anything with him, so the comparison is not quite what Sunwoo wants it to be.

"I'd be thinking really hard about why Sangyeon is doing all of this. Because to me it seems like he's flirting in his own weird way."

Hyunjae pauses. “… Really?” he asks, not able to keep the skepticism out of his voice.

“Would I lie to you?”

"Yeah, actually, last week when you said you were too sick to pick up some milk - "

"I never lie. I'm just encouraging you." Sunwoo gets up from the kitchen table and drops his bowl into the sink, next to the pile of other dishes. "Don't tell me I didn't try."

"What's the point of having a roommate when I do all the cleaning myself?" Hyunjae asks as he rests his cheek in his hand.

Sunwoo shrugs.

Hyunjae doesn't check his phone anymore until he falls back into bed after breakfast. It's a heavy accusation, that he is a loser - especially coming from the local loser Sunwoo. He feels like it's not far from the truth, though, when his heart speeds up while pulling up Sangyeon's chat again.

The only real thing left to do is to actually talk to his parents about this. It's gonna be fine; he and Sangyeon are going into this with a plan. Hyunjae just needs to call up his mom and tell her hey, I have a super cute boyfriend, so you don't have to worry about me entering my thirties alone, and also I'd like to bring him over for dinner, so you know that he's actually real and you can stop bothering me. It's easy enough, really.

Somehow his stomach doesn't stop churning even as he bravely dials his mom's number. Call it prophetic intuition - because it becomes quite clear that his mom doesn't care about boyfriends and dinners this early on a Friday morning; not before getting her coffee first and certainly not when she has all the post-holiday-new-year stress resting on her shoulders.

Hyunjae throws on a hoodie, hides his hair beneath a hat and buries his head in his hands with a groan. Well, he knew this was coming to an end on Sunday, he should be glad that he doesn't actually need to pull through with it when he had been so against it in the first place.

And yet, the stupid part of him still wonders what it would have been like. He and Sangyeon had barely had two weeks to lean into the whole dating thing. There had only been Sangyeon calling him honey, and Hyunjae referring to him as his boyfriend, and the hand holding that Sangyeon kept initiating whenever Hyunjae gave him his deer eyes, almost as if to pacify him. It was nice. It would've been nice to try it out after all.

Well, sucks to be him.

It doesn't feel like a conversation to have over text. And since Hyunjae's a pathetic loser anyway, he spends the rest of the day rolling around in bed until he decides to pick Sangyeon up from his shift at the cafe. The other smiles easily at him when he enters, already preparing to close down everything for the night.

"Can't offer you a free coffee anymore. The most I can do is a glass of water."

"Don't start spoiling me, hyung, or else I might start hanging out here more often," Hyunjae coos and takes a seat by the counter.

Sangyeon only rolls his eyes at him, turning back to pack up the remaining cakes.

This has become so much of a routine that it's as easy as breathing to Hyunjae. As Sangyeon closes up the shop, Hyunjae keeps talking, and while Hyunjae grows quiet, Sangyeon takes over; sometimes they talk over each other, and then Sangyeon scolds him and Hyunjae erupts in giggles. Sangyeon tells him about his customers of the day. Hyunjae doesn't mention how he spent the entire day despairing their fake relationship coming to an end. Sangyeon tells Hyunjae how Juyeon is already decorating his flat for his birthday and hired Sangyeon for his help. Hyunjae pouts about having to start on another essay, and by the time Sangyeon is throwing on his scarf and coat, he hasn't breached any of those things that he wanted to talk about in the first place.

"Oh yeah, you didn't answer me this morning. When are we gonna meet up on Sunday?" Sangyeon asks, and it makes Hyunjae falter enough that the other picks up on it right away. He gives Hyunjae an encouraging smile. "It's gonna be fine, yeah? I'm not going to disappoint you."

"No, I know." God, does Hyunjae know. Sangyeon would be exceedingly perfect even as a non-boyfriend. "It's just… I talked to my parents. About the dinner." He didn't mention a dinner anywhere in the conversation, but it's not for Sangyeon to know that Hyunjae suddenly got feed too cold to even bring it up. Hyunjae bites down on his lip. "And… I know this is really last minute, but they can't make it this weekend after all. They're caught up in a pretty big case right now and planning for the new year, and they… won't be able to make it."

Hyunjae can't quite read the expression passing over Sangyeon's face, but it looks too far like disappointment for something like a chore coming to an end for him. "So… we're postponing it?"

"Uh."

"It'd be no problem," Sangyeon says, as he finishes wrapping his scarf around his neck. "If it works better for them."

Postponing? Hyunjae hadn't even considered postponing when the next best chance would have been cancelling dinner altogether, seeing as he couldn't even bring it up over phone. And postponing would mean keep this going, and Hyunjae would have guessed that this would actually be the point where Sangyeon would tap out but…

But then again, why shouldn't they keep going? If Sangyeon is offering, Hyunjae would be stupid not to take it. Like, it's not hurting anyone. They can hold hands. Sangyeon is clearly into this, even if it's just for his acting career. Or the joys of helping Hyunjae out in a weird kind of way.

"Um," Hyunjae lets out again. "Sure. Yeah. Yeah, let's postpone it."

"Great." Sangyeon's smile is warm, as he slings his bag around his shoulder. "It's gonna work out, honey."

Hyunjae isn't proud that he googled signs he has a crush on me after that talk with Sunwoo, but he learnt as much from it as from does he like me and how often should you meet up with your boyfriend, which is to say - it left him more confused that he had been before.

As easy as it would be to brush that convo off as Sunwoo giving him false hopes, it instead makes Hyunjae unpack all of those delusional thoughts he had had just one year ago, where asking Sangyeon out had seemed like it would come with an 80 percent success rate. Chanhee does, ever so often, accuse them of dancing around each other, even if Hyunjae can't see how that's true. Now it feels too scary to unpack, while they're so clearly playing everything up just for the sake of it.

He was a coward, waiting for Sangyeon to do the first move - waiting for him to notice him when he broke up with his girlfriend, waiting for him when Hyunjae had broken up with Jongin, and sneaking glances at him during basketball games and his shifts at the cafe until - until they had settled into this. Wouldn't Sangyeon have already done something if Hyunjae had any chances with him?

And then again - why hadn't Hyunjae done anything?

It's not a surprise, then, that he's stuck with fake dating rather than the real deal; and perhaps it's a little rewarding anyway when Hyunjae arrives at Juyeon's place, cursing himself for only grabbing a leather jacket on his way there, and it is Sangyeon who opens the door - Sangyeon who, instead of letting him in, lets his eyes travel over Hyunjae's form appreciatively first.

It makes Hyunjae's cheeks flush from more than just the cold.

Sangyeon throws an additional look over Hyunjae's shoulder. "Didn't you bring Sunwoo with you?"

"I'm right here, and you're asking for Sunwoo," Hyunjae complains with a whine. "Let me in, it was so cold outside."

Their shoulders brush when Hyunjae makes his way into the apartment and Sangyeon shuts the door behind him. They almost run into each other anyway in the cramped space of the hallway when Hyunjae takes off his jacket and turns to the wardrobe. Sangyeon's leaning against the wall, arms crossed and waiting for him to get out of his shoes, and for some reason, it makes Hyunjae so flustered that he almost stumbles over his feet. Sangyeon reaches out to grasp for his hand before Hyunjae can actually fall.

When he said he wanted Sangyeon to take double takes at him when entering a room, he didn't mean for it to be so confusing.

"Your hands are cold," Sangyeon mentions, covering one in both of his.

"I told you, you just never believe me." Hyunjae pouts and stands up straight again. He's hovering over Sangyeon only the slightest bit, and it's always a treat he doesn't allow himself to indulge in. While he's dressed up for tonight, for once, Sangyeon is as handsome as always. It's like he doesn't need to try; the same hoodie he was wearing last week is a smashing hit with Hyunjae's heart.

Sangyeon laughs quietly. "You have a way of complaining."

"Do you ever feel like being nice to me?" Hyunjae cocks his head at him, and he knows they should move, knows he should be finding Juyeon and congratulating him on not falling off a ladder while putting up decorations, but Sangyeon is still holding onto his hand, and after everything, it's becoming Hyunjae's favorite kind of thing.

"You look nice tonight," Sangyeon hums, not even the background yells and laughter coming from the kitchen are able to drown out the softness in his voice; only the blood rushing to Hyunjae's ears might challenge it.

"Only tonight?" Hyunjae asks, not able to not joke about his self-deprecation, and it's no wonder Sangyeon never finds a moment to compliment him when all Hyunjae does is push it away from him. "I mean I do only wear sweatpants."

Sangyeon shakes his head fondly. "No, even then. You look good in everything."

Something precious swells in Hyunjae's chest, settling warm around his heart. Does he need to listen to Chanhee after all and have a talk about this? About them? Hyunjae doesn't dare ripping through the quiet between them, but Sangyeon clears his throat when someone calls out for them from the other room.

"Let's join the others, huh?"

"Yeah, sure," Hyunjae mumbles back, returning the small smile Sangyeon gives him.

And for a second, both of their brains must have turned off at the same time - Hyunjae turns to the kitchen, and Sangyeon leans in, and his lips are brushing against Hyunjae's cheek until Hyunjae turns his head with a gasp and they land on his mouth instead. It's a quick brush of lips, nothing more, and Sangyeon snaps back like burned, while Hyunjae takes a step back and -

Hyunjae lets out a sound in the back of his throat. "Hyung, what - "

"Oh god, I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking - "

"Those two just kissed," sounds Eric's voice from the kitchen.

Oh, fuck, no.

Hyunjae's eyes widen. The panic must have been written over his face because Sangyeon's thumb runs over the back of his hand reassuringly. It only makes Hyunjae swallow down his racing heart even more.

What did just happen?

Juyeon comes into the hallway, slightly confused, mostly happy to see them. "Come on over, everyone's in the kitchen."

He ushers them over so fast that Sangyeon has no time to let go off Hyunjae's hand. And perhaps it wouldn't have been a big deal if Eric's announcement hadn't set everyone off. Multiple pairs of eyes fall on them, and Hyunjae finds himself squeezing Sangyeon's hand tighter in his.

"Are you guys really dating?" Eric asks with wide eyes, more like stating a fact that's already been out in public.

Hyunjae chokes on thin air. "We're really not."

"No need to be humble about it!" Eric slaps him on the shoulder. "You guys couldn't have hidden it for too long anyway."

There's little Hyunjae can do to talk himself out of it. Chanhee might know that they're fake dating, and Sunwoo as well, but he's not keen on announcing their brilliant fake dating plan in front of their whole friend group. He has been chewed out enough by his best friend and his roommate, he doesn't need a public roasting.

The problem is just he doesn't know what else to say. Eric has known about Hyunjae's pathetic crush on Sangyeon since Hyunjae asked him for Sangyeon's name after seeing him at practice for the first time.

Sangyeon squeezes his hand.

"We just didn't get around to announcing it yet," he says. "We meant to tell everyone at the same time."

Wait - no?

Hyunjae's heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. He meets Chanhee's withering look, shaking his head in no, this isn't part of the plan, Sangyeon is free-styling. Sangyeon, who is searching for his gaze unsurely, almost like he expects Hyunjae to belt out a laugh and deny it, explaining how they were just fake dating for a dinner that doesn't even exist. Instead, Hyunjae's throat is closing off, as he tries to communicate with Sangyeon silently.

What are you doing?

"Oh," Eric lets out, apologetic. "Oh god, sorry, you guys. I ruined your moment, but - um, I think it was quite in the open anyway."

"What?" is, once again, all that leaves Hyunjae ever so intelligently. How is everyone so up to date about things that don't concern them? Most importantly - how did the gossip get skewed so much that they're now actually dating and not just fake dating? Why is Sangyeon feeding into it?

"Yeah, I actually heard it from Juyeon, and he had overheard Chanhee and Sunwoo talking about it, so a few people, uh, know," Eric says and gives the both of them a timid smile. "I'm happy for you, though. It was just bound to happen, you know? Hyunjae-hyung was so - "

"I wasn't anything!" Hyunjae interrupts.

Eric slaps at him again as he turns to Sangyeon, and Hyunjae isn't even strong enough to stop him. "Hyunjae used to ask me to introduce you two so often before you met, hyung. I'm so happy it worked out in the end."

Hyunjae doesn't dare turning his head to gouge for Sangyeon's reaction. His cheeks are heating up, and his fingers intertwined with Sangyeon's are starting to get clammy, and it's - really not all that great fake coming out to your friends. Perhaps he should grab himself a drink and spill it all over himself to get out of this.

"Yeah," Chanhee agrees with a casual sip of his drink while he leans over his ramen, like a diva. "He never shuts up about Sangyeon to me either."

That's it, Hyunjae is calling this off. Better face the humiliation of staying alone forever than getting exposed right in front of Sangyeon. He tries to peel his hand away, inconspicuously, but Sangyeon only holds onto him tighter. Hyunjae's gaze snaps up to him; there's contemplation passing over Sangyeon's face, softness tugging at the corners of his lips like earlier in the hallway, when he didn't seem to be able to rip himself away from Hyunjae and his solitude.

"Really?"

Hyunjae swallows. "I told you, I thought you were cool," he jokes, laughing it off like he's so casual about it. "I'm sure you were the same about me."

He's sure the kindest things that Sangyeon has said about him didn't involve any romantic swooning like Hyunjae would have loved - compared to Hyunjae's godless drooling over Sangyeon's shoulders or favoring his jokes over anyone else's. No one enlightens Hyunjae about it either; the conversation quickly turns to the next best thing when Juyeon makes them sit down in his already cramped kitchen. It's a tight fit as he presses himself between Chanhee and Younghoon on the tiny couch, and the beer that Juyeon hands him doesn't help take his mind off of things, while he keeps avoiding Sangyeon's searching gaze.

Why did Sangyeon do all of that?

There was no reason for him to agree to a postponed dinner, and there was absolutely no reason to take their fake dating thing as far as to pretend in front of his friends as well. There was no reason for their kiss in the hallway and Sangyeon holding his hand as often as he does, his good morning messages and the spam of stickers in their chat when Hyunjae goes to bed. But Hyunjae dug his own grave, didn't he? He asked Sangyeon to help him out, and now he's here complaining that Sangyeon's act is too convincing? He shouldn't be this surprised; this would only go on if Hyunjae didn't think of a new date to beg his parents to meet up at.

His lips are still tingling with the forbidden knowledge of what it is like to kiss Sangyeon, and he's not drunk enough to pretend that he doesn't want more.

Juyeon doesn't as much celebrate as he hangs out for his birthday parties. So that is what they're doing, amidst Changmin and Eric trying to convince everyone that they need more games to be happening right now. As Eric tries to pair everyone up, Hyunjae realises Sangyeon has disappeared from the crowd. His heart gives a painful pang; he can't be the reason for it, but he's been sulking for long enough now that he probably could be assuming the same about Sangyeon as well. He ignores Eric's protests as he gets up - crawls over Younghoon's lap to somehow be able to stand up - and instead wanders into the widths of Juyeon and Kevin's apartment, eventually finding Sangyeon on the balcony.

"Where did you leave your jacket, hyung? You're gonna freeze to death."

Sangyeon startles, head whipping around at the sound of his voice. "Don't startle me like that," he wheezes, gripping at the railing to ground himself.

Hyunjae leans himself next to Sangyeon. "I thought you must have heard me," he says, cocking his head at Sangyeon. "What are you doing here? Thinking about me?"

Shaking his head, Sangyeon starts. "No." He trails off. "I mean, kind of, yeah."

Hyunjae gnaws at the inside of his cheek. Yeah, okay, he shouldn't have expected Sangyeon to go back to normal. On the other hand, Sangyeon invented a few new things between them just now, so for once he doesn't feel responsible for how the evening went on.

"Hyung… What was that?" Hyunjae asks carefully.

Sangyeon gives him a pitiful look before he lets out a groan and lets his hands run through his hair. "I'm sorry, I don't even know how it happened. It was just… in the moment? And I wasn't really thinking. And when Eric asked us if we were dating, I kind of panicked. I couldn't come up with anything on the spot either."

Hyunjae regards him with soft eyes. He can't even blame Sangyeon for not thinking about it in the moment. He guesses a few things have felt a little too real recently, it is a bit difficult to keep himself in check and remind himself that dating does not mean throwing pet names at each other at random times in the day. And while he's the one with the feelings for the other, he guesses it can get confusing for Sangyeon too.

"Don't beat yourself up about it," Hyunjae says. He puts on a cheery smile. "I can't blame you that you're not immune to my charms."

Sangyeon opens his mouth, corners down turned, before his forehead settles into a frown.

"As my fake boyfriend," Hyunjae offers as an explanation, "you just got caught up in it, right? And I was just pushing you with those compliments as well. I didn't know what to say either, so it's on the both of us that our friends know."

Sangyeon stays quiet, turning his head back to look over the empty street, while his shoulders sag. The tension leaves him, eventually, after a moment or two pass, even though Hyunjae gets the feeling that he didn't get something right.

"If it's any reassurance, it was cute," Hyunjae says and bumps into Sangyeon's side. "Hyung, you're fine. You're not a bad kisser. I'm sure it would've made me blush if I wasn't so surprised."

"Not bad?" At least that gets a chuckle out of Sangyeon. "Is that a compliment, Hyunjae-ah? If I'm supposed to be nice to you, then you should be too."

Hyunjae huffs. "Fine. If I hadn't been so surprised, I'm sure you would've made me blush. And I'm sure Eric believed it because it looked so convincing."

Would they have to kiss in front of his parents too? Would Sangyeon lean in and give him a peck on the cheek or his lips when they were presumably alone, just to keep up the act? They had done it once, they could do it again. Hyunjae swallows, his eyes travelling to Sangyeon's lips again. If they were a real couple, would they kiss now too? Away from the rest of the party, he could use the moment to sneak a few kisses to Hyunjae's lips, like he was too impatient to wait until they were back at home.

Hyunjae's eyes snap up to Sangyeon's. The other is watching him, curious.

"Since, uh, our friends know now," Sangyeon says, "Do you think…"

It's so quiet between them. Hyunjae hears his own blood rushing through his ears. "What…"

Sangyeon clears his throat. "Do you think we need to practice?"

Hyunjae blinks. "Kissing? Practice?"

"Yeah, well, no. Kind of?" Sangyeon sounds so calm about this. Hyunjae, however, thinks he's forgotten how to breathe all of a sudden. "I mean skinship in general too. We probably won't have to, uh, kiss anymore, but I got… distracted, and then we got startled, and then it was weird, so maybe it'd make us more comfortable with each other?"

"I'm pretty comfortable with you already, hyung…" Hyunjae mumbles, more in disbelief than against it. He barely understand Sangyeon's explanation, but at the same time, he makes it sounds so reasonable that it's so tempting to say yes. It's a bad idea. It should be a bad idea. It doesn't even make sense why they should - maybe a little, but like Sangyeon's saying, they probably won't need it anymore.

At the same time, Hyunjae thinks he won't survive another 24 hours without kissing Sangyeon again. Properly, this time, so he can actually burn it into his mind.

"We don't have to," Sangyeon starts, but Hyunjae's already stepping into his space, rendering him silent when a hand lands on his shoulder.

"We should try just in case?" he asks, a smirk growing on his face as he leans in closer to Sangyeon. It only grows when he sees Sangyeon's eyes dart all over his face, him swallowing nervously. If he didn't know better, he'd say Sangyeon had his own selfish reasons for suggesting this.

Hyunjae so wishes that he has.

Sangyeon's eyelashes flutter like he's waiting for Hyunjae's next move.

Hyunjae roped him into this fake dating thing already; he doesn't need to force kissing on Sangyeon if he doesn't want it. But Sangyeon asked for this, and his eyes flutter shut and a blush creeps up on his cheeks when Hyunjae's hand wanders over to his cheek.

Hyunjae feels Sangyeon's fingers brush against the side of his shirt.

"Just in case," Sangyeon whispers in return, voice hushed in the dark like someone could listen in on them. Hyunjae isn't sure when Sangyeon's eyes stopped meeting his, and when his gaze dropped down instead. "Kissing's nice. We should try."

Hyunjae's heart feels like it's going to jump out of his chest. Why is he the one making a move right now? He always imagined it the other way around, that Sangyeon would be the one to lean in and make Hyunjae blush. But this is nice - Sangyeon is so cute, with his red cheeks and the anticipation written all over his face, and Hyunjae sees his breath hitch when Hyunjae moves in.

He doesn't get another warning before Hyunjae captures his lips in a kiss. Sangyeon's grip tightens in his shirt, as he presses forward so that they can get closer. It's easy, and it's gentle, and the way Sangyeon touches his waist right now makes Hyunjae's head spin as much as the kiss itself.

Hyunjae doesn't want to be dramatic, but kissing Sangyeon might just be the nicest feeling in the world.

He wants to make any kind of joke when they pull apart after a while. His mind is running with hundreds of thoughts per minute, and he can't settle for one to speak out loud. Instead he finds himself appreciating Sangyeon's smile, and his warm eyes, and feels a giddy smile stretch over his face too.

Sangyeon clears his throat, voice rough as he lets out, "Uh."

That one syllable jolts Hyunjae right back. "That was better," Hyunjae jokes, as he puts a respectable distance between them again. "Great, even."

"Yeah?" Sangyeon asks, eyes widening as his hand grips into Hyunjaes shirt to stop him from leaving. "See? Yeah, that's…"

"Was it that good?" A slow grin grows on Hyunjae's face, and he can't help the happy laugh bubbling up with it too. "I take your stuttering as a compliment, hyung."

He smooths down his hands over Sangyeon's shoulders. It's so easy to get lost in him. He should take the non-coward road, that would be easy now too. Would Sangyeon have gotten this lost in him if he hadn't had the slightest bit of a chance?

"Oh. You're here."

Hyunjae startles at the sound of Juyeon's voice, as the door to the balcony slides open.

"Yeah, where else?" Hyunjae means to take a step back, but Sangyeon's grip on him is steady, like he doesn't want to rip apart from Hyunjae yet, and it's not what it is, but it does feel like they have gotten caught making out. Like proper boyfriends getting caught in the middle of making out during a party, and well - what were they doing?

"Uh, sorry, I'm just - " Juyeon says, squeezing into the tight space of the balcony to pass them. "Kevin wanted some drinks."

Right. Because it's normal to store drinks on the balcony. He bites down on his lip, giving Sangyeon a bashful smile, while the other looks like he's trying to stifle a laugh instead. Juyeon brushes past them again, and Hyunjae tries not to make a noise when it pushes him closer into Sangyeon's space.

"We're gonna get the games going, don't take too long, okay?" Juyeon tells them, with as much annoyance as he can even muster, eyeing them with raised eyebrows before venturing inside again.

The balcony door falls shut. Sangyeon's breath tickles Hyunjae's neck as he leans in with a quiet laugh; Hyunjae giggles, squirming when it becomes too much.

"So when is the next dinner?"

Hyunjae is so focused on how Sangyeon's hand isn't letting go of his waist that he nearly misses the question. "Hm? Oh," he lets out. Oh, he had forgotten to ask about it. Again. His parents still have no idea that this dinner was happening. "Right, um… How about in two weeks? My parents, they suggested today, actually, but we were kind of busy."

"We are," Sangyeon says. He doesn't question it, and he doesn't press any more; he leans in again and takes Hyunjaes breath away.

The giddiness doesn't leave Hyunjae alone for the rest of the evening. Sangyeon kissed him once, twice more; he kissed him again when Hyunjae whined that it was too fun to stop now. He was so happy to indulge him, even as the winter air chilled them both to the bones, even when Changmin yelled at them to get inside since didn't want to get started without them.

They do, hands intertwined and sides pleased together. Sangyeon is flushed and grinning, and Hyunjae doesn't fare any better. The rest of the night is spent like that until half the guys leave and the other half becomes too rowdy, and when Sunwoo announces he's going to leave with Chanhee, Sangyeon asks him if he should drive him home.

He knows it's not the alcohol speaking when he wants to let his hand wander to the back of Sangyeon’s neck. When Sangyeon’s profile gets lit by the red of the traffic lights, Hyunjae wants to pull him down and into another kiss, keep going what they started on Juyeon’s balcony and take it to the backseat if it goes well.

Instead Sangyeon’s thumb keeps drawing patterns on his thigh until he pulls up to Hyunjae’s flat. He doesn't look like he is going to get out of the car with Hyunjae, and it makes Hyunjaes’s lips pull up into a pout.

“If I asked you to come upstairs, would you say yes?” he asks, voice hushed like he doesn't want anyone to hear him. The small mercies of Sunwoo staying with Chanhee tonight.

"I'd say you should probably catch some sleep," Sangyeon answers softly. Hyunjae's eyes almost flutter shut when the other reaches out to settle a hand on his cheek, warm and solid, and he holds his breath when Sangyeon, like reading his mind, leans over to him and presses a soft kiss to his lips.

It was brief and sweet, nothing like the things swirling around in Hyunjae's mind, and maybe it's good that Sangyeon doesn't come upstairs because the grin Hyunjae wears until he falls asleep is too giddy to be a flattering look on him.

He doesn't even get as far as asking his parents. It's only a few days later when his mom calls him, her sweet voice unusually scratchy and tired over the phone. Hyunjae doesn't even have to look for an excuse why he forgot again - the excuse fell right into his lap and this time he doesn't even think of cancelling.

Hyunjae:

Hyung…. my mom got sick

I don't think she can make it this weekend

Sangyeon:

I'm sorry to hear that :(

Wish her all the best from me

Hyunjae bites down on his lip. A few minutes pass - Sangyeon doesn't follow it up with anything else. They had already postponed dinner once, who is to say that Sangyeon wants to keep going?

Hyunjae startles when his phone goes off again, nearly letting it drop when he reads the message.

Sangyeon:

How about dinner at my place instead?

I could cook for us

Maybe Hyunjae needs to start questioning some things after all.

Sangyeon is so exasperated but he sounds fond when Hyunjae leaves his lips, so Hyunjae can't even feel too bad about distracting him while cooking. He stands in his way, and Sangyeon only sighs when Hyunjae challenges him with a grin. Hyunjae steals from the chopped up carrots, and he likes it a little too much when Sangyeon tells him off, because there is no real bite in his voice, just enough for the thrill of it.

Hyunjae supposes he has this whole fake dating thing down if Sangyeon's patience even allows Hyunjae to sit down on the kitchen counter.

Sangyeon eyes him warily anyway. "You know I cleaned that just earlier."

"Oh? Thanks, hyung," Hyunjae replies, kicking his feet like the most annoying menace in the world because he is. "You didn't have to do all of that for me."

"I didn't do it for you." Sangyeon only swats at Hyunjae's knee, but it's half-hearted at best. "You're going to ruin your appetite like that," he says, resigned.

Hyunjae hums, chewing at his stolen food thoughtfully. "You worry so much about me. That's so boyfriend of you."

There's a tint to Sangyeon's ears that wasn't there before. He nudges Hyunjae's leg away with his hip. "You're distracting me, go sit."

"Am I being dismissed?" Hyunjae pouts, which turns into whining when Sangyeon starts nudging him in the side instead. It's still not enough for him to slide down the counter. "Isn't cooking more fun when there's someone to entertain you?"

"Aren't you worried about me too? I might cut myself if I keep looking at you."

"That are the hardships that come with having a good looking fake boyfriend," Hyunjae sighs. "You only realise what you're getting into when it's too late."

Sangyeon lets out a snort. "I can see that."

Hyunjae grins, unable to hide how amused he is by it, and he's glad it doesn't slip when Sangyeon moves closer into his space. It's a close call when Sangyeon's hand lands on his thigh, his heart speeding up. "I knew it. You must've been enchanted by my long legs. I wouldn't blame you, they're my best feature."

Sangyeon looks at him for a long, unbroken moment, and then he's letting out a hum. "Your eyes."

Hyunjae blinks. "My eyes?"

"Your eyes are your best feature, Hyunjae."

Hyunjae's mind turns blissfully blank for a few seconds, before the words catch on him. By the time, he seems to find his voice again, he fears that his whole face is set on fire. Sangyeon's touch wouldn't feel real if it wasn't for the heat spreading through him from the simple gesture.

Sangyeon's smile starts to slip, and he clears his throat. "Anyway," he says quickly, removing his hand from Hyunjae's thigh as well, as if remembering that he still had some cooking to do. "I actually was meaning to ask you - what should I wear for dinner?"

No, no, Hyunjae wants his hand to linger - actually, he wants them to linger on this topic for far longer too. Sangyeon should give him more compliments instead of reminding him of how fake all of this is.

It wouldn't be difficult to ask him now. Whether he would like to take this and make it into something real. Because how will Hyunjae keep going after this? He's going to keep living with the knowledge of what it is like to date Sangyeon. What it's like to kiss him while their friends are around and what it's like to have Sangyeon's hand cover his across the table, his hand wandering over his thigh like it did just now; how it is when Sangyeon takes him in like he's the only person in the room.

Hyunjae wouldn't go back to his usual pining. He'd actually be the most stupid guy on the whole world to go back to status quo.

"Does it have to be that fancy?" Sangyeon adds when Hyunjae doesn't answer. "I, uh, don't think I have a nice suit."

Hyunjae snaps out of his trance. "Ah, no, you don't need anything fancy," he hurries to answer. "Anything will be fine. You look good in everything."

Sangyeon's smile returns. "Yeah? Enough to impress your parents?"

"Enough to impress them." Enough to impress me. He gives Sangyeon a smile. "Anything you do."

Sangyeon drops his gaze, pleased and shy, and Hyunjae feels his breath stutter in his chest. What would be the worst thing that could happen if he confessed now? If Sangyeon was so nice as to pretend being his boyfriend, then he probably wouldn't drop their friendship if he didn't return Hyunjae's feelings. They had kissed, multiple times in one night, so their friendship would probably survive anything at this point.

Hyunjae slides off the counter, right into Sangyeon's space, and Sangyeon looks up in question, eyes searching and hopeful, it's like Hyunjae swallowed his tongue all of a sudden.

"I'll - set the table," Hyunjae blurts stupidly. "Don't burn anything while I don't watch."

Sangyeon blinks, something in his expression dropping, before he huffs out a quiet laugh. "Right. I'll be fine."

Nothing happened. Nothing happens. They have dinner, and Hyunjae keeps thinking about how dinner dates are Sangyeon's favorite because they're the most romantic, and how a dam has broken that has been between them for the entirety of their friendship. Sangyeon's hand finds his easily, and he's leaning in over the table as the evening drags out and his shoulders relax. Besides all that it's all the same - Sangyeon still complains to him that none of his colleagues seem to appreciate his latte art, and Hyunjae whines about his study classes starting up next week, and - and nothing has changed, their friendship hasn't changed, and yet Hyunjae wishes Sangyeon would just kiss him again, wishes to have his breath brush against his skin and feel how it is to be pressed into the couch by him after an evening of this.

It's all the same, though, and when Sangyeon starts yawning hours later and it's seems like it's time for Hyunjae to leave after all, the snowy weather really doesn't feel appealing when Sangyeon wrapped up in his hoodie looks far more comfortable.

"I should probably go, right?" Hyunjae asks quietly, knees drawn up to his chest, as he doesn't even make a move to get up.

He might have a free morning tomorrow, but he also has an exam in the afternoon, and he should go to bed early, and one would think he had learned his lesson by now - he's lingering anyway. They will literally see each other again tomorrow - either because they meet for lunch or at Sangyeon's shift or literally anywhere else.

And Sangyeon hesitates too. "Actually, um," he starts, sitting up straight again, like he knows he can't mess up. He mentions towards his living room. "Why don't you stay here?"

Hyunjae holds his breath.

"We could pull out the couch, and we - I mean, we don't have to but. We could have a movie night."

"Didn't you say movie dates were the end of romance?" Hyunjae asks, and he smiles so wide his cheeks start hurting. He jumps up from his spot at the table, the sleepiness from earlier completely leaving him. "Of course I want to. Hyung, there's a literal snow storm outside! I couldn't have gone out like that."

Sangyeon gets up too, groaning as he straightens out his legs for the first time in hours. "It's barely even snowing - "

Hyunjae doesn't think about it at all. He leans forward, his lips brushing a soft kiss to Sangyeon's cheek. His skin is warm, and it flushes a soft pink when Hyunjae pulls away with a grin. "Thank you, honey," he coos. "Can I borrow a hoodie? Yours looks comfortable."

"Let me grab one, yeah," Sangyeon breathes out as he waves Hyunjae off, flushed and flustered, and he hesitates before he still adds, "honey."

Hyunjae can't even voice how nice this is - how nice and safe it feels to rest his head on Sangyeon's shoulder later on. Sangyeon's smells like the laundry detergent that Hyunjae catches a whiff of whenever they hug, and he smells like coming home. And maybe it's a weird thing for him to notice, and maybe it makes him even more of a horrible person when he thinks that he's glad he let things escalate enough to experience this.

How is he supposed to confess when he can't even be honest with Sangyeon?

Maybe this is all he will get then. Falling asleep against Sangyeon, in the middle of a movie he's barely following, while Sangyeon presses his face into his hair in return.

If he was any less of a coward, it might have been a kiss.

"I can't do this anymore," Chanhee mumbles under his breath.

It's been barely a second since Sangyeon excused himself to the bathroom. When he had gotten up, Sangyeon's hand had settled on the back of his neck and he had given him an affectionate squeeze. Hyunjae had watched Chanhee's eyebrow twitch at the sight.

"I don't know what you mean. Aren't we cute?" Hyunjae rests his chin in his hand, quickly shutting up when Chanhee throws him a glare.

"At this point you're going to ask for his hand before you ever make it to that dinner with your parents," Chanhee hisses, lowering his voice when someone by the other study table throws them a pointed look.

Hyunjae lets out a contemplative hum. "You think I would be the one to propose?"

Chanhee presses his lips together and leans back. Hyunjae watches him with a pleased grin while Chanhee counts down from ten to one in his head instead of throwing the next best object at him.

"So." Chanhee breathes out. "How many times have you postponed that date?"

Hyunjae lowers his gaze as he fiddles with the pen of his tablet. "Might have been one, two times - “

“Wrong. It's been four times. What is wrong with you?”

"Did you count or something?" Hyunjae asks with a whine. "I didn't get around to setting a date yet."

Chanhee doesn't buy it. Hyunjae had come around with the same excuse over a month ago; just last week, he had told Sangyeon that his sister was pregnant, and that they couldn't steal her spotlight right now. Yeah, Hyunjae is balancing out this situation perfectly well.

"I'm just postponing it a bit," Hyunjae says, a little weakly. "I - this is nice, you know? And we're having so many dinners, and he's funny, and I don't know how… to go back to normal after this."

"Why can't you just date him like a normal person?" Chanhee asks, tone softening despite his words. "Why are you going through this whole trouble?"

Hyunjae falters. "I… I mean I did try. I almost asked him out," he answers lamely. "I don't know, okay? I got cold feed. I wasn't sure if he'd like me back for so long, and now it's… like there's something inside me that's still unsure."

"He's been playing along for over a month now, hasn't he?" Chanhee asks, eyeing Hyunjae with something that Hyunjae wants to read as sympathy. "I think you're basically dating for real now. Do you think anyone would do that if they didn't actually have a thing for you?"

Hyunjae feels his chest flutter with hope against his better judgment. "You think I might have a chance?"

"Yes. But I don't know if he's gonna be happy if you keep lying to him for much longer," Chanhee says bluntly. "You should tell him."

It stings to hear that. Yet, Hyunjae knows it's true. The original plan has been long lost, but even then - even then his heart hadn't been in it. It was clear from the beginning that it wasn't going to happen. And Hyunjae finally needs to deal with the consequences.

"Chanhee, why am I always so unlucky?" Hyunjae asks, resting his head in his hands.

"Because you set yourself up all the time."

Hyunjae pouts harder. Admitting that would be admitting to all of his flaws, and he surely isn't going to do that in front of Chanhee. Maybe in his head, but never to Chanhee.

"Go out. Like a normal couple," Chanhee says and it sounds like a threat as he swats at Hyunjae weakly. "And do something about this."

The pretty lights of the funfair aren't really enough to make his heart settle today.

Hyunjae does set himself up all the time. And when he went to confess all of his sins to Sangyeon, the other had simply assumed that Hyunjae was cancelling their dinner again; and Hyunjae had gone along with it again, because if there is even the smallest chance that they're going from this to not talking, then Hyunjae might as well enjoy it one last time. Especially since Sangyeon didn't bat an eyelash before inviting him out to the funfair in town, just so that they could spend time together if they don't get to go out on the weekend.

It's not hard to break out in a smile despite his mood when he spots Sangyeon in the distance, and Sangyeon catches him at the same time, lifting a hand in a small wave. Hyunjae stays put until Sangyeon reaches him, breath puffing white in the cold.

"Hyung, we need to try out the rides, or else I'm going to freeze," Hyunjae complains, feeling too energetic to stay still.

"Were you out here for long?" Sangyeon asks and pulls out his gloves from the depths of his pockets.

Hyunjae bites down on his tongue, the comment about warming each other's hands on the tip of it, but luckily, he's too touched by the gesture to be stupid right now. The gloves feel a little tight, but they make him feel as fuzzy as if Sangyeon had given him a hug.

"This doesn't mean you're off the hook," Hyunjae warns, "we're still trying the roller coaster."

"Don't you rather want to check out the food stalls?" Sangyeon asks, grimacing as he eyes it in the distance. His hand comes up to grab at Hyunjae's arm when they fall into step next to each other.

"We can go afterwards," Hyunjae says, pressing himself closer into Sangyeon. "And I'll win you something from the claw machines."

"As long as I'm still standing by then," Sangyeon mumbles, and Hyunjae can't help the laugh that leaves him.

Sangyeon's so cute clinging to him that he forgets what sent them here. He doesn't even need the excuse of the event getting more crowded to search out Sangyeon's closeness - Sangyeon seeks it out himself, when he curls into Hyunjae's side as they do end up on the roller coaster, and afterwards too when he feels too nauseous to walk. Hyunjae's laughter nearly makes them stumble over, until they make it to a bench and decide to grab something to eat once Sangyeon's stomach has settled.

It's not Hyunjae's first time at a funfair, but it's the first time he actually has fun. Sangyeon indulges him in the rides he's interested in, actually joining him even when he's reluctant at first, and they go through the horrors of the mirror house together until they actually end up by the claw machines, even though Hyunjae had only been joking about being good at it.

It turns out he's shit at it.

Sangyeon thinks it's hilarious.

"Stop laughing, I'm trying to win you something," Hyunjae says, pressing his hand against the glass of the machine as if it was going to help him. "The dog plushie looks just like you."

Sangyeon throws an unimpressed look at its floppy ears and big eyes staring back through the glass. "It looks a little sad."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Hyunjae mumbles, before he lets out a frustrated sound when he fails again. He's about to try again when Sangyeon's hand lands on his on the machine, and he's pushed to the side.

"Let me try," Sangyeon says, and at this point, Hyunjae feels too distracted by how cute Sangyeon looks when he's focusing that he doesn't even argue. It takes him one, two movements, then there are lights and colors going off as the plushie becomes Sangyeon's.

"That's no fair, I warmed that one up for you," Hyunjae says with a pout, but he can't keep his excitement out of his voice even as he tries to be whiny about it. The dog does look like Sangyeon, even more so now that he's resting in Sangyeon's arms.

"Don't you think it was my talent?" Sangyeon asks, smugly.

"Sure, tell yourself that."

Sangyeon pokes him in the side, and Hyunjae avoids it with a laugh, and he's still giggling when Sangyeon holds out the small dog for him to take. "I mean, I didn't get you a real Valentines present," he says, voice wavering like he's nervous. "But here. Since it reminds you of me anyway."

"Oh." Hyunjae reaches out to accept with careful hands. "I - thank you."

He swallows down the racing of his heart. Right - right, it was Valentines Day. He had tried not to think about it when he saw the displays around the city, and he had tried not to think about it when Sangyeon asked him to go out to the fair, conveniently just right after Valentines had passed. Hyunjae squeezes the plushie between his hands. He has never gotten a Valentine's present from a boyfriend; nor from a fake boyfriend.

They're basically on a date now. They have been going on dates for almost a month now, they slept in each other's arms and they texted like a couple of far longer than they've been pretending to be one.

They have done everything but gone to that dinner date. Screw his insecurities, if a confession is what dooms Hyunjae, then so be it.

If they were on a real date, would Sangyeon kiss him right now?

And since they're not, why can't Hyunjae do it himself?

He can't hear the surprised sound that leaves Sangyeon when he steps into his space, but he sees his breath hitch when Hyunjae's hand lands on his cheek.

"Hyung, why is it always me kissing you?" Hyunjae mumbles, close enough that it sounds in the space between them.

"That's not true. I kissed you first," Sangyeon mumbles back, his eyes flickering down to Hyunjae's mouth before he's bridging the last remaining inch between their lips.

It explodes in Hyunjae's chest - Sangyeon's breath on him is warm and familiar, Sangyeon's hands biting cold when they land on the sides of Hyunjae's face. Sangyeon's pressing back eagerly, like he needs Hyunjae to breathe, and when they pull back, Hyunjae's heart makes jumps in his chest, not able to calm down at all.

Flashing lights flicker in Sangyeon's eyes like a field of corn flowers in the wind; the cold winter air is biting Hyunjae's skin, but Sangyeon's gaze feels so much like a summer day that it warms Hyunjae up from the inside out. He wonders how much more affectionate it could become - in a month or two, or by the end of spring, or in late September.

"You're getting better." It's stupid how it's the first thing that stumbles over Hyunjae's lips, and he watches how behind Sangyeon's lashes his gaze grows clearer.

"Is it convincing?" Sangyeon asks quietly, although he leans back almost immediately, giving a weak smile.

Hyunjae bites down on his tongue. His heart feels like it's going to jump right out of his chest if he opens his mouth. It did feel convincing to him, and this is his moment. If he wants this to be real, then he's going to stop being a coward right here and now. He blinks back at the other, drawing a breath, the blinding lights of the ferris wheel coloring the night's clouds in a blue and red right behind Sangyeon.

He makes for a stunning sight.

"Hyung - "

"Listen, uh - "

They both stop. Sangyeon gives him a bashful smile, and Hyunjae lets out a quiet snort despite his nervousness, words stuck in his throat.

"Go on, hyung," Hyunjae says, wrapping a protective arm around his new friend.

Sangyeon takes in a breath, eyes turning sad. Now he does look like Hyunjae's newfound friend. "I - I don't know how to say this," he admits. His eyes are darting anywhere but to Hyunjae's face. Hyunjae waits for him to go on. "I know I promised I would help you however I could. But I'm wondering… if we should really keep going like this."

Oh.

Oh. Hyunjae feels the fuzziness of the evening leaving him, as he registers the cold air hitting his cheeks for the first time ever since they arrived here. He - he enjoyed that kiss too much, didn't he? Scratch that he shouldn't have missed Sangyeon out of nowhere in the first place. His crush was written all over his face when they parted, and has been ever since they started this, and maybe it was actually weird from the beginning -

"That's - of course that's fine," Hyunjae huffs with a small smile, so desperately hiding his disappointment, his shame of letting this go on for as long as it did. "I'm sorry that… Ah, no, well. It was weird, wasn't it?"

Sangyeon shakes his head. "No, actually… actually, it wasn't weird at all." His breath turns white as he exhales. "Dating you - fake dating you, it's really nice. And I couldn't help to think about what it would feel like if it was real. Because everything we did, it felt like it could be. And sometimes it felt like you were actually interested in me. But then again, I couldn't be sure because this whole thing - maybe I'm just misreading things that aren't there. I can't expect you reciprocate when we agreed on just pretending."

The fair around them seems to have stopped altogether while Hyunjae was listening to Sangyeon, and yet as everything becomes a blur, he's almost sure he misheard the other.

"You want to date me? For real?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I really like you, Hyunjae-ah," Sangyeon admits, and while he looks like he much rather wants to disappear into himself right now, he still draws his shoulders back. "So if we're really doing this, I'd like it to be real instead of something that needs practice to become more convincing."

Oh. Oh, Hyunjae had so messed this up. He bites down on his lip as he realises just how stupid those words leaving him had been. But - but Sangyeon wants this to be real. And as much as he wants to beat himself up about ruining perfect moments, he wants to seal this before Sangyeon changes his mind on him right here and now.

Hyunjae smiles sweetly. "If I say yes, promise you won't be mad?"

Sangyeon looked nervous before, but now there's concern washing over his expression. "Why? What did you do?"

"Nothing," Hyunjae asks, taking the moment of distraction to slide his hand into Sangyeon's. "I didn't ask my parents about that dinner yet."

"For next week?"

"No. At all," Hyunjae says. "They don't know about my fake boyfriend. Nor about a dinner."

"So… you didn't postpone it? You just didn't ask at all?" Sangyeon asks, and he lets out a deep sigh when Hyunjae nods. "Hyunjae. Why? We've been fake dating with no end date for nothing?"

Hyunjae pouts. "I was meaning to ask!" he defends himself. "It just didn't work out. And don't say it was for nothing. It got you to confess to me."

Sangyeon runs a hand through his hair, processing, but something in his eyes switches. "Is this… Don't tell me I'm misreading things again."

"I don't know, what are you reading?" Hyunjae asks, grin growing as he cocks his head at Sangyeon.

"Maybe you're afraid we haven't practiced enough?" Sangyeon's eyes flicker down to Hyunjae's lips, minutely, before he's meeting his gaze again. "Your excuses sounded very solid."

Hyunjae winces. "They weren't a lie, though, I - " He shakes his head. It doesn't matter. "No, you're not misreading anything." A breath. "I like you. A lot. And I wanted this whole thing to be real too because it - it felt like we were finally dating after this whole time."

"Finally?" A grin spreads across Sangyeon's face. "Sounds like someone was pining."

Hyunjae's cheeks are burning. "So what? It was nice to imagine that you were too."

"Maybe I was," Sangyeon says, softly, in awe. "Actually I think we should've started dating ages ago."

Why hadn't they? Why did they need this whole fake dating thing to make them realise? Hyunjae finds he doesn't care enough to think about it now - instead, he tries to take in as much of Sangyeon as possible, from his flushed cheeks to the dimples showing right now, and it's the most beautiful he's ever been.

"Will you come meet my parents?" Hyunjae asks, not even faking it as he grows shy about it. "As my real boyfriend?"

Sangyeon smiles at him, buzzing and pleased. The world is still turning. They are still boyfriends.

Spring is going to be warm, Hyunjae knows.

("And also did you really not want to fight Jongin?" Hyunjae asks when they're on their way back to his flat.

Sangyeon squeezes his hand as he pulls him along on the street. "No, but for the record, I think I would've won.")