Chapter Text
Sigma was a young man that had suffered amnesia at the age of 18, while he has basically recovered he still lives with the thought of missing so much of his life. He was now 21, full of anxiety and self doubt.
Currently Sigma had just ended his, way too long, shift at hot topic and was walking home with the man he loved. It was pretty cold out and he was a bit chilly in his tank top, but that didn’t matter. He turned his head to look at the older man and smiled nervously. He was overthinking his words and decisions again, it was typical but it was annoying.
“Are you staying for dinner, dear..?”
He held his breath for the answer. This man was Fyodor Dostoevsky, a company executive with a serious demeanor and high intelligence. Let’s be honest, this man was not the love of Sigma’s life, they weren’t even in a relationship for heaven’s sake. Fyodor was never committed to the man with two toned hair, or anyone for that matter!
Sigma was just a love struck, technical victim, that felt like he owed everything to Fyodor. He was such a suck up loser that would do anything to keep Fyodor happy. He even carved the other’s name right into his arm. What a painful experience that was.
After what felt like minutes, Fyodor answered with a simple nod. Great. The man without many words and the man who cared to much and overthought everything.
The “perfect” pair.
Whilst walking, there was a particular, annoying voice shouting from behind the two. Sigmas head turned, as if he didn’t know who was shouting.
“Siggy~! Feyda~! I see you guys!”
The voice was quickly approaching, it was the infamous Nikolai Gogol. Nikolai Gogol wasn’t a murderer by any means but it wouldn’t surprise Sigma if he turned out to be on. Nikolai was the town whore in a way, not that he slept around with everyone, but definitely with fyodor…
Sigma didn’t know why he hung with Nikolai, but Nikolai was just around now. Fyodor rolled his eyes. His “distaste”, as he constantly called it, for the energetic, insane man was apparent.
Nikolai looked normal today, Nikolai was in his usual off the shoulder long sleeve and baggy jeans. Better than his usual, Sigma didn’t want attention.
At least his cuts aren’t visible.
Sigma wouldn’t know what to do if they were visible- he didn’t want his reputation tarnished more than it has been..
Sigma hated his life. I mean who wouldn’t? He was working minimum wage, in a toxic situationship, and he was the world’s most anxious man. Maybe that was a bit dramatic, but it was accurate!
As the group got to Sigma’s house, Sigma realized he didn’t have much to cook. Fuck. Why did he invite fyodor over? He was not thinking, maybe he should just cancel.
“Fyodor? Can I cancel? I’m really tired”
he saw fyodor’s eye twitch. He knew the man didn’t appreciate plans being canceled but fyodor nodded and walked away. Oh how guilty Sigma felt for the cancellation.
“Siggyyyy, can I stay~?” Nikolai teased Sigma with a smile.
Sigma just couldn’t read Nikolai, he was so ….weird…. Sigma felt a migraine coming. It felt like the other’s presence yoked on his shoulders constantly. Maybe that’s why he was so tense.
“….No…” he dead panned, being too tired to do anything.
He unlocked his door and walked in, quickly closing the door. He sighed and looked at his run down apartment. He heard Nikolai’s footsteps head off in a different direction. He kicked his shoes off and rubbed his temples.
He took off his hoodie, looking at the reminder on his arm; “Fyodor”, forever in his skin. It was time to go to bed. He got up and immediately went to his couch. Without much thought he turned on a turn crime documentary and zoned out heavily. It wasn’t long before he was out cold. His apartment filled with the sounds of his snores throughout the night.
In the morning he woke up and immediately texted Fyodor, only to be left with no response. That wasn’t normal, Fyodor was up early and hated to leave messages unanswered. This left Sigma to spiral as he got ready for work. Felt like he was on the verge of an anxiety attack.
He spammed texted Fyodor all morning, asking if he was ok. Just to be left on read. Why wasn’t Fyodor answering him? He was worrying all throughout work, wondering if something happened to him. He couldn’t think right and kept messing up. That led to him getting chewed out by his bitch of a manager.
Only after his shift did Fyodor answer with a simple “I’m fine” message. I’m fine? After all that Sigma texted and worried about him?! That asshole really just said he’s fine, when sigma was convinced he was dead all day?
Sigma was about to text Fyodor to say how pissed he was, but was he really pissed? This wasn’t even the first time it happened.
He’s probably with Dazai… He thought solemnly to himself. Fyodor was often with Dazai, maybe he was more happy with him. Sigma felt like crying his heart out on his walk back home. He just wasn’t enough.