Chapter Text
“But you just had to keep trying to kill yourself”
My best friend’s words still ring through my head an hour later.
This was the person who has been there with me for the worst moments of my life. The moments where I was overcome with this pervasive wrongness that just wouldn’t go away. The moments when my eggshell finally cracked. The moments when the people I knew brushed aside the biggest revelation in my life like it was a novelty. Throughout all of this, Luna was there for me.
I still remember the day I thought she disappeared. I didn’t think much of it at the time, executive dysfunction and all that, but as the days wore on I grew increasingly desperate. I tried to hold onto hope. Maybe the kaiju rampaging by her just took out her housing and she couldn’t contact me. Sure that would suck for her, but it was better than being dead. Luna wouldn’t abandon me like that, right?
Eventually I gave up. I accepted what I probably should have known happened all along. It was rough. There wasn’t a day that went by where I didn’t miss her, and little minor innocuous things would always sneak in and remind me of her. I cried one time when I ran into someone playing a LunaLight deck in an online match.
And then Luna came back.
It was one simple message. I almost didn’t believe it was her at first. Surely it was just some scammer who managed to find Luna’s login in a dataleak and was impersonating her? But no, the more we talked the more it became undeniable. This was Luna, my oldest bestest friend.
Though not necessarily the same Luna.
It was clearly obvious that whatever happened to Luna over those months changed Luna. It certainly wasn’t all bad. She seemed a lot more confident and even sent me a picture of herself for the first time ever. She looked fantastic, and it even showed some of the friends she was making.
One of whom happened to be Castalia, the strongest Earth Guardian alive.
Whatever happened to Luna, it had to be distinctly involved in magic of some kind.
That’s not even a bad thing by myself. Despite the fact that we know that being a magical girl is less saturday morning cartoon show and more child soldier, I know Luna still wished she had gotten the opportunity. It’s not like I would hate my friend for choosing to fight against the omnicidal dimension that repeatedly dumps monsters on our society’s collective lawn. If she told me she had been chosen super late, I would have been happy for her, wished her luck, and demanded pics of her outfit.
But no, whatever kind of magic Luna had gotten herself involved in, it didn’t seem to be directly involved in the earth guardians. Which made the fact that she was seemingly friends with two of them very… odd.
I didn’t press her on it much. If Luna wanted to keep things a secret, that was fine. I was deeply curious why she was suddenly mute, but that wasn’t… essential information in our relationship, and I was still looking forward to seeing her.
Then, some videos came out of some mutated magical girls talking about the abuses in the system and how they got screwed over. Ah! These are probably the people Luna is involved with. I can get behind trying to reform a system of child soldiers. I called Luna out a bit on what was a bit obvious but she got defensive so I backed off. It seemed a bit weird to be so touchy when it was kinda clear what was going on, but I can kinda get not wanting to talk about these things considering who her roommate is.
Then I arrived, and we got one good night together before it all went to shit. Luna went out for a walk, and then a bit later she came back completely terrified. She was found by Eliza after she let off one of the biggest bursts of fear Eliza had ever seen. Everyone was obviously concerned, but Luna just refused to say anything.
Then things just got… worse. Luna continued to refuse to say anything. Eliza (who is apparently two separate earth guardians! Wild!) came back the following night horrified after she and her team were ambushed by members of the Dark Rebellion and the two kids had their stones stolen. Luna is obviously freaking the hell out but still refuses to give things up. Even the others have picked up that Luna is involved in the Dark Rebellion, and were pressing on it. She admitted she was involved with the various videos and showed us an unreleased one detailing a ruin of a power plant that literally sucked joy out of Antipathy. Okay that was something, but this is not the behavior of someone who is just worried about evil power plants. Something was still clearly going on, magic was involved, and Luna refused to tell us.
Or couldn’t tell us.
I wasn’t the magical expert in the room, heck I probably had the least experience with magic out of anyone considering Chloe knew Eliza for years. But even I could see magic could do some pretty wide ranging and powerful things. So what if there was some level of mind control?
Luna has this horrifying secret she is forced to keep, and she physically can’t tell us. It’s the only thing that makes sense. She clearly cares about the friend group of earth guardians she’s picked up, and I don’t think she’d want to hurt them. I try to let her know this and it’s okay and we can help, and it’s like a switch flips.
She instantly grows super cold and tells me to pack my stuff. She seems nothing like the friend I’ve interacted with for my entire life. Then she tells me those words, and her face doesn’t even move the entire time. She just looks at me with a cold disappointed stare.
God damnit! I was so fucking stupid! I’m so goddamn stupid! Of course if Luna was under control in some way there would be a contingency of some kind to silence anyone who figures out the truth! She even warned me! Obviously she couldn’t say so explicitly, but she told me pretty clearly to stay out of it for my own safety. I thought she just didn’t want me to play hero and get myself involved, but no I was too stupid to consider that Luna herself might be forced to do something to me if I dug too deep.
Luna makes me get on a bus and go far away. She gives some apologies and says it isn’t my fault, but I know that’s not true. I just wanted to help her like I always had, like we always had for each other, but Luna is involved in stuff way more dangerous than some wonky brain chemicals now, and I’m not enough anymore. Luna got put in an impossible situation and just wanted her friend around. I was just too stupid to listen to the flashing warning signs.
“But you just had to keep trying to kill yourself”
The words flash through my mind again. It’s a hard pill to swallow from my friend who has been there with me my entire life, even in my darkest moments. It’s harsh but it rings true, validating my worst doubts about myself. Even then though, there’s still something that seems odd about that moment. Something uncanny, that still makes me question whether it really happened. Then it hits me.
Luna said those words out loud,
and her mouth didn’t even move the entire time she spoke to me.
Oh God.
Oh shit.
What the fuck.
Okay well Luna was clearly involved with magic we knew that much. But actively using magic? Okay that’s new. That’s very new. Luna doesn’t seem to have a transformation stone lying around. Is she just transformed the entire time? But wouldn’t the other guardians notice that? Maybe? I don’t know!
Why doesn’t she speak? Is it an aspect of her transformation? Luna did always say she used to wish she was mute, but I thought that was just an aspect of her not feeling her voice training was up to snuff (she was dead wrong by the way). If she can speak, why did Luna say that she became mute after the incident? Is it because she doesn’t want anyone to see her mouth? Oh God, is she mutated like the other girls she works with? Shit, that could make sense. You wouldn’t want to show off to your magical girl roommates that you have crystals growing in your mouth after all.
So my best friend is being held hostage under mind control by a bunch of ex-earth guardians. She clearly hates something going on but can’t tell anyone about it, and beyond that her body is mutating to something that isn’t even human!
And I can’t do anything to help her with anything.
Some friend I am.
Tears flow out of my useless eyes, and useless arms hug my useless knees that have curled upwards. I just wanted to hang out and spend some time with my oldest friend who I’ve never been able to meet in person before, maybe we could even help each other out a bit. But no, I’m too much of a waste of space to even do that.
I barely even recognize when the bus I’m on reaches the destination, some town I don’t remember the name of. I stumble off the bus and onto the street, remembering at the last minute to actually grab my bag.
The bus pulls away and that’s it. That’s my last connection to what I thought I would be doing with my life gone. With that, I’m lost. I have no home, and no idea what to do next.
Food.
Food is probably good.
I stagger my way across the street and into a building that looks vaguely like a cafe. I get in line and begin contemplating what option on the menu seems vaguely palatable when a nearby TV breaks through my haze and strikes straight into my heart.
“Breaking news! Colorado State University appears to have been attacked by the organization known as the Dark Rebellion!”
I freeze.
The Dark Rebellion is attacking the college?!
I turn around and rush over to the tv hoping to get a better look. My bags are left behind in the scramble, they aren’t important right now.