Chapter Text
Everything went all too well, way too well, in the last eighteen months, but Will Byers knew that eventually he had to face the harsh reality of Hawkins. There were two remaining problems: Vecna and the Upside Down, where he had been hiding for six long days in the year 1983. Though he escaped and four years went by, if he was honest with himself, he didn't stop hiding. Living with the Wheelers was a blessing and a long-drawn torture at the same time. His best friend was closer to him than ever before, which he could only dream of in California. He left behind those seven months, waiting, longing for his letters. But now, even if Mike was out of sight, Will knew where to find him, so that he could talk to him almost anytime he wanted to.
The Party started to go back to what it was before Will went missing. Or it might be Will, who wished that it could be the same as it was four years ago… Lucas's and Dustin's visits in the basement weren't as frequent as before. There was a darkness around both of them that he and Mike silently acknowledged. They let the boys grieve in their own ways. When their friends were in a better mood, the four of them made little figures, cars, and buildings, and later presented several plans for the search for Vecna. It was Mike's idea to put together a mock-up of their hometown, and it certainly made him the happiest of all of them that he could work on it. Will was eager to watch him become a leader of their group again. Mike paid close attention to the little wooden figures. In his words, "They had to be perfect". Of course, his attention to detail drove Lucas and Dustin mad, but Will found it sweet.
He could have lived like this his whole life. Plus minus Ted Wheeler. He also wouldn't mind if Jonathan didn't wake him up almost every night to sneak away from the basement to Nancy's room. It was perfect. Almost perfect.
What about this was torture? Well… Mike himself. Sometimes, when Jonathan's steps faded away and the night went quiet again, Will began to hear a very different rhythm. The stairs creaked under his best friend. Will turned to face him. There was a lanky silhouette in front of the stairs that he could see in the sparse street light.
"Sorry, man! Did I wake you up?"
"No, I couldn't sleep."
"Wanna' talk?" Will nodded, as if Mike could see him.
So, they talked. Hours went by, but they didn't even notice. Will felt like Mike was more honest with him this way, when neither of them could fully see the other's face, and their whispers and giggles filled the basement with something warm, something familiar. They played back memories, carefully dancing around those six days in early November. Mike didn't ask, and he didn't want to tell the whole truth of what happened in the Upside Down. Maybe he didn't have the words for it. Perhaps he didn't want to face it now, that everything seemed so peaceful and his best friend was almost as close to him as in the beginning of their friendship. Before everything got complicated. Before the girls and other dimensional monsters…
Will knew he shouldn't have thought of El as an obstacle between him and Mike. She was his sister, and even though they only lived together for a couple of months, she fit into their family as if she had always been a member of the Byers. Even though Will understood that the military is actively searching for El, he wished that she could live with them. But still, something has changed between them. There were white lies and carefully avoided memories that made it harder to be this close to Mike. A painting that hung on his wall, lonely days in California, the remaining pieces of Castle Byers.
When Hopper gave them a green light, they would ride their bikes to his cabin to meet El. Sometimes it was only him and Mike, sometimes the whole Party came with them. All they did was pretend. Pretend that they don't have to prepare for the end of the world, pretend that they don't see how the light disappeared in Lucas's eyes, how unpredictable Dustin became after Edie's death. However, Will was the first to learn how unsafe it is to replace reality with dreams. It all started with the disappearance of Holly Wheeler, and as eleven more children were carried to the Upside Down, Will also learned that he had powers he had harnessed from Vecna. He wasn't sufficiently calculated. They were all so confident in his powers, even his mother, that they forgot who they were opposing. Vecna couldn't be defeated by a boy who wasn't familiar with what he was capable of. Will was a weapon that could slam in a sudden and may cause some damage, but it was Vecna they were fighting with, and the painful, but obvious truth was that he couldn't be taken down with only an axe…
...
Memories flash before his eyes.
Will and Jonathan are still in Hawkins. They are listening to some underground band that Jonathan is so fond of. Will doesn't like the song, but he doesn't want to disappoint Jon, so he nods when asked if it's any good. He would do anything to make him happy...
As each moment passes him by, it's almost like they weren't ever there.
His mother steps into Castle Byers. She is grinning ear to ear. A little puppy is following her steps. The new member of the Byers family happily wags his tail when he sees Will.
Weren't even real…
Morning at the Wheelers. For the first time since he moved back into Hawkins, Will wakes earlier than anyone. It's unusually quiet and peaceful. As soon as he lurks out in the window, Mike Wheeler steps into the kitchen. After a quick "hi," they both stare at each other for a little too long. The silence is comfortable, but the air suddenly thickens with an unexplainable tension. Mike swallows. Will wants to turn away, but he doesn't know how. At the exact moment when they both open their mouths again, Mrs. Wheeler steps into the kitchen with heavy shopping bags.
He remembers them as distant, but bittersweet dreams…
The first time, when the Party is together in Mike's basement. Mike and Will learned D&D together and played just the two of them ever since, but now they convinced their classmates, Lucas Sinclair and Dustin Henderson, to play with them. Will is a much more patient teacher than Mike is. He cannot help but laugh at his friend, who gets frustrated when Lucas doesn't even wait through Mike's explanation,n saying that he will learn the game while playing, and Dustin does the complete opposite by persistently asking more questions. Will Byers has a feeling that, moving forward, it won't be only Will the Wise and Mike the Brave, and he doesn't mind. They are a Party now.
Yesterday, in the field. The look that Mike gives him, while he calls him a sorcerer (shoulders dropped, head slightly tilted, so they are almost the same height, and those dark brown eyes are looking up to meet his gaze). He sprints towards him right after Will killed off those three demogorgons and hugs him tight. Will cannot help, a tiny whisper leaves his mouth: "Mike", while his friend, his best friend since kindergarten, babbles about Will's innate powers, like this is his new favourite subject, and he doesn't stop even after they leave the MAC-Z. It's almost like Mike's body cannot contain his excitement; he has an urge to share with the whole world how proud he is of Will. Will hopes no one can see him blushing, but of course, Robin's radar hasn't been more precise. She looks at him with that knowing look, which Will would probably translate as "signals, signals, snowball and... incoming avalanche".
Robin pulls him into one of the hospital rooms to sneak away from Vickie, the girl he is dating (!?). Will didn't consider this as an option before, but as he saw them together the other day, the image of the two of them laughing, murmuring sweet things into the other's mouth, stirred up something strangely, painfully familiar in him that he used to deem as unattainable. After a long, long time of only feeling fear and guilt because of the unspeakable things he hides inside, Will feels something blooming in his chest, accompanied by a shy, involuntary smile, as he listens to Robin. Maybe — he thinks —, perhaps as he wanders away in his memories. He doesn't go really far; his mind settles somewhere around the Wheeler house, and he finally understands that what he feels is a little hope.
Sharper, more concrete memories take their places. Will wants to turn away from them or run as far as they can't reach him, but there is no escape. Vecna's voice is steady. When he first got stuck in the Upside Down and heard that deep, terrifying, rattling voice telling him that every nightmare, everything that he is afraid of, will in fact come true, he associated it with his father. Although he didn't call him those ugly names that always made him cry, Will was sure that he knew his secret.
Back then, in 1983, he escaped, and four years went by, but if he was honest with himself, he didn't ever stop hiding. One still knows his secret, so he uses it against him. Will should've expected it, and in a way, he already did. However, Vecna has an awful way of turning his own thoughts, his very own memories, against him, until they seem more real than anything else.
"It's not my fault you don't like girls!" Mike shouts at him in the pouring rain, then his face changes afterwards. He is just as shocked as Will, like he didn't even want it to come across like this, but it doesn't matter now; he already said those words.
And then…
"We're friends. WE'RE FRIENDS!" He yells at him again at the Rink-O-Mania, even though Will didn't want to allude to the fact that they could ever be more than friends. He is not even sure if they are friends anymore, but he would be more than content with only a friendship, only a glimpse of what they had before everything got so complicated.
He is crying in the car as he leaves Hawkins, thinking he will never be back, not like this summer. The Cleric is losing his Party and losing his Paladin…
"What do you think, William, how would they react if they knew what you keep inside? Do you have any guesses?" The rattle is too close to him. He is locked away from everyone and everything, his body feels numb, and it's freezing, freezing…
"They would finally get to know the truth, what he suspected all along. You think you're good at hiding, but you could only do it for so long. You can't hide from your family and your friends much longer. They already suspect that something is wrong with you, because you're way too sensitive, way too fragile, and you still break easily. You're not like your friends, and eventually, they will see it too. They will slowly leave you behind; they might never tell you, but under their polite smile,s there will be disgust. Disgust in what you are. What about your mother and your brother, you ask? Joyce seems like a lovely mother, so how could I tell you the truth behind her facade? She wants to start a family with Hopper. All she wants is a happy marriage after a failed one, so who could blame her? Do you blame him, William? I know you will start to see under her mask, when she asks you to pretend to be her new family, that you're normal. Jonathan may tell you that there is nothing wrong with you, but he wants to marry a Wheeler, so he can't accept you openly. You see, both of them will find their new family, and you will end up alone, which will only make them feel guilty. That guilt will make them wish you were like them, like everyone else around them. You're going to make their lives more difficult, do you see it, William?
And Michael… What do you think, William, what would be his response if you told him, it's in fact his fault you don't like girls? I have to say your friend is rather hot-headed. In the heat of the moment, the truth slaps out so easily in his mouth, just like in those times before, when he hurt you. So, let me break it to you: he is only honest when he lashes out. If he knew what you are, he wouldn't even manage to touch you anymore, so he doesn't get that disease you're carrying around. Your precious friendship would be over only with one confession, because he cannot stand the people of your kind."
As the voice trails on, pictures start to appear in front of Will's eyes. Visions of a future where Mike isn't the first to put his arm around him, when he gets slightly dizzy, or collapses to the ground. His eyes are unreadable, his hands are hesitant as he looks at Will.
"What were you thinking, William? That your friend would be any better than the good old Theodore Wheeler? If you were looking for acceptance, you wouldn't find it with a Wheeler. The real Michael is closer to his father than you realize. To be precise, a mirror image of his father."
It's Mike again. His usually unruly curls are tamed with gel and parted to one side; he wears glasses, and his expression is neutral, almost bored. Where is Will's best friend, who doesn't even bother to hide what he is feeling? It's unflattering and feels uncomfortable to look at him like this, but not because Will could ever find Mike unattractive. He can't accept that it's Mike that he sees. Mike, who used to tell him, that his biggest fear was to end up just like his father, stuck in the same small town he was born in.
The nights that Mike spent in the basement, while Jonathan was away in Nancy's room, seemed so far away now. Mike was lying down on the couch, Will was on the mattress, and their whispers filled the silence of the basement. One time, Mike asked him what his biggest fear was, then quickly took it back and started apologizing, because he didn't want to remind him of the time when he got taken. Will was awake even after Mike fell asleep. He listened to his friend's breathing and wondered how he ever began to tell him his answer.
The Mike from the vision looks at him slowly at first, as if he is not sure he has recognised him correctly, then a smile forms around his mouth, only a half-smile that suggests a lot. A lot of things make Will uncomfortable in his own skin. Mike turns away, then looks at him again, like he is some weird species that he doesn't want to interact with in proximity. Then his mother and his brother appear next to Mike. El, Lucas, and Dustin follow them. The same expression sits on their faces. It makes Will deeply ashamed and disgusted with himself, and all he wants is for this nightmare to end. Vecna doesn't let him. He turns up his chin, so Will can't look anywhere else but at them.
"How could you lie to me, Will? Friends don't lie, remember?" This time, El speaks. Her face is stern. "You're my brother. So, why are you trying to come between the boy I love and me? I could trust you. I thought you were my family, my real family." And with that, she slowly turns her back on Will.
“Please, El! Please, listen to me! I didn't want to hurt you, that was never my intention..."
"Mom? Jonathan?" He calls out again, but they only look at Will once with disappointment on their faces, then start to walk away.
"You didn't have to make it so difficult, Will. Why did you do this?" his mother says as she slips away. So far, Will can't reach him anymore.
"Mike?" Mike hesitates a little, but once he turns away, he is gone forever. They all leave him in the dark, and something breaks in him in the silence. Every boundary he held on to tight, every memory that could make him distinguish between Vecna's truth and his own, is so far gone now.
Will lets out a sob, a desperate one that echoes through the void. Hawkins is a lonely town, especially for people like him. He's always known that, so pretending that he was someone who could dream, who could hope, was so stupid, so, so naive of him.
"You'll help me, William, once again." He hears Vecna's voice, and that one sentence circles around in his mind until there is no other thought. He doesn't have it in him to fight. The crawls are touching his face, close to his eyes, forcing them wide open. As he locks eyes with Vecna, the pain becomes unbearable. He can hear a terrifying scream, but he doesn't register it as his own, and there it is, the tears come again, this time they are warm and gluey, and all he wants is to be able to close his eyelids, so his eyes stop burning. Someone is screaming again. Or still, and it's already too late, when Will suddenly concludes what Vecna's planning to do. In the next minute, his vision shifts to the hospital, as if he were seeing through the eyes of the demogorgons. The picture is red at the edges and somewhat blurry from the constant pulsing. He sees the different floors and quickly moves through them until he finds what he was looking for. Room 412.
Oh, no. Not her… Please, not her…
"You were always so helpful, William." That's the last thing Vecna says before he disappears.
Oh, Max... I'm so sorry, Max. I wasn't strong enough. Please forgive me!
Will Byers feels warmth and happiness leaving his body, and suddenly, he is twelve again, unable to move, unable to speak. It's like he is frozen, still, and he cannot do anything to break out of his prison. Good, it's so, so cold here. He is sure that he will freeze to death. Alone. And this time, no one would come to rescue, because Vecna is right; he is different. He would swear to Good he tried to be like everyone he knows, but in the end, he knows he can't change who he is at his core. Too different to fit into this world… A world that would turn against him as soon as it found out who he loves. He feels himself sinking into the darkness, and he doesn't even want to resist it anymore.
...
"Will, Will!" He is hallucinating. This cannot be true. No one is calling his name, especially not in that high-pitched, worried tone that he knows way too well. Why can't his brain just come to terms with the reality that Vecna shoved him? Why would it still let him hope? Then again: "Will, it's okay." The voice continues, but it's much softer now. Will doesn't want to open his eyes, but whoever is talking to him is standing close. Between heavy breaths, he says, "Everything will be okay. We're here, I'm here."
"Mike?" Even Will is surprised by how weakly his voice comes across. His question is barely a whisper, and he is still afraid to open his eyes, and not only because he thinks he is imagining that familiar sound. It hurts so much. Even though Vecna's hand isn't touching him anymore, he can still feel it. A horrifying thought comes to the surface: What if he lost his eyesight? He has to… He has to try to look around.
"Hi!" It's Mike with his messy, black curls. His face is even paler than usual. It's really him. Or Will lost his ability to decide what's real and what's not, but he doesn't have it in him to think about it anymore. "We're taking you out of here. El is here too. She let me come with her to save you."
"You basically begged me to…" Mike steps aside a little, and El appears in front of Will.
There was a time when a little girl came to her at Castle Byers. After days spent in the Upside Down, he thought that the small kid with a shaved head and soft voice was only a fragment of his imagination. The other side of Hawkins was rotten. The sun never came up. There were no people, just monsters with faces that looked something like a flower. And there was that other monster, who seemed to control the demogorgons. The most frightening thing about him was that Will could feel he was something between a human and a monster. A human corpse should be under the ground, but he was very much alive and talked to him as if he saw everything that was on Will's mind. As if he knew him better than Will knew himself.
The little girl was very much real, and she was the reason that his mother and Hopper could find Will.
"I'm sorry, Will." Her eyes well up, and as Will looks at her, he sees that little girl again. She is incredibly strong.
He lets El break him free from the vines that had him glued to the wall. Will loses his balance and lands on his knees. Mike and El immidiatelly rashes to him.
"What the hell happened? What did that bastard do to you?" Mike is kneeling in front of him, his hand shaking as he moves it to Will's face, his voice full of concern, his eyebrows furrowed. As he touches the skin under Will's eyes, he wants to cry. Mike's hand is trembling, his mouth is trying to form a coherent sentence, but he only puts it together after a few tries: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Does it hurt?"
"A little." His head feels too heavy, so he tilts it to Mike's shoulder, and Mike pulls him into a hug. Both of their bodies are shaking. The hug tightens when El wraps her hands around them.
"Come on, Will, you were bleeding. Don't play with us. We're not dumb." That's what Mike murmurs in his ears. Probably.
Then don't ask stupid questions.
Before he is bombarded with new questions, Will decides to tell only half the truth. At this point, he is used to it. He picks up his head and looks at Mike, trying to ignore how close they are. Their noses are almost touching, and he feels Mike's warm breath on his face, but Mike doesn't seem to care. He watches him as if Will would break apart at any moment when his attention is not on him.
"He… he used me again as a spy. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. He saw her."
"What? What did he see?" asks El.
"Max. He knows where Max is, and he will find her. Go now, don't waste your time with me. She needs your help!"
Mike is the first to speak.
"We're not leaving without you, Will. As soon as we're out of here, we're coming for Max." His eyes are so full of worry and care that Will has to look away. He shifts his focus from Mike to El, but quickly fixates on the wall behind her, netted in vines. Why does it have to be them who come to the rescue?
"He is my brother, Mike. I can save him with or without you. You're just helping me, remember?"
"Yeah… yeah. I'm just here for… support."
"Then would you let me get to him?"
Will is barely conscious throughout their bickering; he feels tired to his bones, and when their voices start to drift away, part of him starts to wonder if he is imagining the two of them.
"But I…"
"Mike!"
"Yeah, yeah. Of course." Before he steps away, he says it again: "I'm here, Will. We're leaving this place and never coming back."
How can you be so sure about that? You haven't seen what I've seen… I'm not even sure if I ever left the Upside Down.
Now that El has access to him, she hugs him again. She is so warm and comforting, and Will wants to cry again. He won't ever want to hurt her.
But he doesn't say a thing, just quickly nods as El tells him, "We'll be there when you open your eyes."
...
The sun slowly disappears under the forest's trees, while his mind is racing with a thousand different thoughts. It feels good to breathe in the cold autumn air, to feel the concrete wall of the Squawk's under his back.
"Hey, Wheeler!" Mike furrows his brows when Robin shows up next to him, but as soon as he does it, he hears his mother's voice so clearly, like she is here with them: Control your face, Michael. Be polite for once!
It's just... he never thought that Will would be into blondes. Blonde girls. Not like it matters. He definitely doesn't make it a bigger thing than it has to be. It's only a fleeting thought. It's normal to care about your best friend's romantic life. But he might also have thought about how someone with darker hair would fit Will better, aesthetically speaking. Will cares a lot about aesthetics.
"Hey!"
"Are you okay?" Robin turns to him as she leans on the wall.
Will is trapped by the vines, eyes so broken, face so pale and covered in blood in a pattern, as if he cried blood.
The silence after El says that Max is not in her hospital room, the hurry with which they look in every room for her.
The dead soldiers on the floor.
Will is unconscious, lying on Hopper's bed in the cabin.
After a horrifying scream that shakes Will's whole body and breaks something in Mike, the boy falls to the ground.
Holly is still taken, just like Will was four years ago, and he is still incapable of helping them.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Today was a lot, and I needed a little time to think, I guess."
"Understandable. Two of your friends were in life-threatening danger. That's a lot, especially for one day."
Mike nods. Still unsure of why Robin approached him. But it might be a coincidence, maybe she just needed to get away from everyone else, but then she continues:
"You know it's sweet, having a little club like yours."
Oh, here it is; the answer to his unsaid question. It's starting to feel like she was intentional about seeking him out.
"Party."
"Whatever, you know what I mean. You and those guys seem really cool, especially since you care so much for each other."
What is this? Some kind of torture? After she let him go, he had to ask Will how he tolerated her. Of course, that Will is kind to everyone—until he had enough of putting up with their absolutely unforgivable behaviour, because… well, Mike knows about that side of Will and by any means he isn't proud of it—, but he wouldn't have to be like this of his own detriment.
"Thanks, I guess? Not like you know any of us personally."
Her grin widens.
"I'm only familiar with Byers; I know that he is cool."
Oh. Although Robin says it so casually, it feels like a punch in his gut. But that doesn't make any sense; she just complimented his best friend. (Who, by the way deserves all of the compliments in the world...)
"Yeah, he is."
"But you don't think that I'm cool."
Mike shrugs his shoulders, instead of answering, because he knows that whatever would come out of his mouth would further clarify the suspicion Robin has had.
"Look, I know that you don't like me, but I just want to know why. Maybe your first impression of me wasn't great, so I want to try again. It helped with Nancy. I think that the Wheelers don't get me at first."
"Why are you so close to Will all of a sudden? Like... you are older than him, and you don't even have any common interests."
He can't wrap his head around the concept of Robin and Will's friendship. (Or is there more…? More than a friendship?) How come Will is so free around her when he doesn't even talk to girls besides El and Max? (And as El told him, there was some girl in Lenora as well, but Will never bought it up.)
"Planning to defeat an evil wizard is not enough common interest for you, Wheeler?"
"No, no, that's not what I meant. I'm just surprised that you are talking and hanging out, because you didn't really interact before. Not even during the crawls."
"Right. I thought that Mama Byers gets too protective sometimes, so I helped him let loose a little. I'm turning him into a little rebel."
He can't help it; a small smile is forming around his lips.
"Will is not like that."
"Sure not, but he can be a tough kid; he was especially tough at the MAC-Z, as I heard from you."
"Yeah, he was." He sees it so clearly; Will Byers stands in front of the burning fire, eyes completely white, stretched muscular arms, palms turned upwards, as Mike hears the demogorgon's bones breaking in its limbs, but he cannot turn away from Will. When the demogorgon's body lands on the ground, and Will's pupils return, their eyes meet, and the world narrows down to the two of them, like there is no one else in this lonely, cursed town. He is surprised, but at the same time, he had been waiting for something like this to happen, because Will was innately magical. And for some reason, Mike doesn't only see the sixteen-year-old Will; he also remembers a smaller version of him, sitting alone on the swing on the first day of kindergarten. His heart shrinks at both of these memories, and they also make him dizzy, so-so happy, and terrified. Mike Wheeler wants to crawl out of his own skin, so he wouldn't be this confused anymore. "But I still don't get it. What's common in you?"
Right before they attempted to save the kids before the demogorgons got them, Robin and Will were deep in some seemingly important talk, and Mike remembers that, to get their attention, Lucas called them 'lovebirds', which he wasn't sure why, but made his stomach twist painfully. Then he heard them giggling at Lucas's comment, and for some reason, he wanted to drag Robin away from Will, and… And that's completely normal, right? At that very moment, he had an unshakeable feeling that he couldn't trust this girl with her wannabe cool radio persona, and even if Will was—and is—completely oblivious of this, he wanted to protect him from her.
Robin is already smirking at him, so he doesn't say a thing.
"You don't always need a boardgame to bond with people, Wheeler."
"A boardgame, are you serious? D&D is not just a boardgame, it's…"
It's our childhood. It's what connects us together. It's how Will and I...
She doesn't let him explain himself.
"You know Will… Well, Will knows one of my secrets. A pretty big secret."
"A secret?"
"Yeah, and because of this, we… have like a pact. An alliance."
"I know what a pact is."
"So, he found out about my secret by mistake. He wasn't supposed to, because I thought I was careful, but he still did, and now I think it had to be that way, you know? He also shared his secret with me. Not intentionally, of course, but after I talked to him, I knew that it wasn't completely out of bounds to look for clues."
"How can one be a part of your pact or whatever it is? What? I just don't like that you talk in riddles."
"Alright, you don't like my riddles, but I'm not going to share Will's secret with you. It's up to him, if he lets you in or not."
"Why does he trust you, instead of me? We are best friends. I should know this stuff, not you."
"Then share a secret with him, and he might tell you his own." Mike's face does that funny thing again; it moves without his permission, expressing his discomfort with what Robin has said. "Don't look at me like that. We might all die in a few days, so I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to face the end of the world while still carrying unspoken things."
Mike doesn't like where this conversation is going. Robin is looking at him like she knows something that he doesn't, and it's so uncomfortable that he can't even meet her gaze.
"What? What do you mean?"
What does any of this mean?
The girl looks at him, really looks at him, and this time Mike can't bounce back with a sarcastic comment or walk away. Robin is almost the same age as Nancy and Jonathan, but in the light that the Squawk's windows let out, she looks much older, more mature than they are. She seems tired, but Mike isn't sure if it's for the same reason the rest of the group is. Yes, they are in the middle of an apocalypse, and an evil wizard is on the other side of this fight, but Robin Buckley's eyes tell a different story. They are almost like a mirror. Mike thinks the sadness in Robin's stare is familiar, and that's when the realization hits him. It's not even sadness, it's hopelessness. The weight of carrying unwelcomed desires. And what's more terrifying is that Robin's look conveys something else that was the mere reason Mike could recognize himself in her: understanding.
He needs to... he needs to get away from here.
"Look, just talk to him. I'm sure he is better now."
"Okay, I'll try." Mike lets out a big sigh when Robin walks away.
...
There is not a single place in the Squawk that doesn't echo with excitement. Everyone wants to express their opinions over the last few days. Joyce, Jonathan, and Nancy are all gathered around Will. Although Joyce let him come back from Hopper's cabin, she doesn't let go of his hand, and insists that he lie down on the couch, where Murray already fell asleep–head tilted back, mouth slightly open, his snoring is a little less loud than Will would have thought. Max and Lucas were glued together since they came back from the hospital; now they are talking with Vickie at the other end of the room. Kali doesn't take a step without El, but she doesn't seem to mind. Will saw them going down to the basement a little while ago. Mike also disappeared from the crowded room. The Squawk's studio is occupied by Steve and Dustin. They took the opportunity to explain to Mr. Clark everything that had happened over the last four years. After listening to them for about two minutes, Hopper thought he should join in, since his memory seemed to work better than theirs. Erica also fell asleep a little while ago, which amazed Will. His head is starting to hurt from the loud banters, and the light is a little too bright for his liking. His mother's instincts work like magic.
She turns to him, worry clouding her expression, but she is still trying to smile:
"Are you tired, Will? We can go down to the basement, if you want to. Lucas and Max are leaving, but most of us will stay here."
"No, I'm fine. I don't want to bother El and her sister. They surely have some catching up to do."
"Which they can manage tomorrow. Come on, you still need to rest."
Will doesn't want to say no to her, not when he knows she blames herself for making Will an easy target for Vecna.
"Okay, I'll go. Just let me say bye to Max."
He gives a clumsy hug to Max, who looks a little out of space, and fragile, still sitting in her wheelchair. There is a bittersweet smile on Lucas's face as he is watching them. He looks relieved that Max is back, but she lost her eyesight and appears much quieter than before. How could she not be? She were in a verge of death multiple times. She can't just go back to who he was before all of this happened, before Vecna happened. Will know this feeling way too well.
"Goodnight, Sorcerer." She whispers in his ear before she pulls back from the hug.
Will is blushing at the name Mike gave him. Even though Max became blind, her gaze makes him feel like she sees through him.
"Goodnight, Zoomer. I'm so glad you're back."
…
The basement seems peaceful, almost quiet compared to whatever chaos is going on upstairs. Will almost drift away into sleep. His body is tired, but his mind doesn't let him fall. It still remembers what happened when Vecna got him—again—and plays those memories back on a loop. When he wasn't alone, it was easier to pretend, that they didn't mean anything, but now...
"Will?" Someone is standing on the stairs, his voice is hesitant and small.
"Mike?" His voice automatically copies the other's.
"Do you mind if I…?"
"No, no, of course. Come down!"
Will sits up on the couch and stares at the other boy. Mike Wheeler is an interesting phenomenon this evening. Instead of sitting down next to him, he is constantly moving, as if he wants to explore every little detail of the room, and there is undeniable nervousness (or excitement?) about his movements. Will almost hears how the different wheels turn in his head over and over again, and it's exhausting even to him.
"Thank you for coming for me. I didn't have time to say it." He says, when the silence feels sort of… awkward.
Mike is looking at the few vinyls on the table. There is a record player on the shelf with a few other records.
"You didn't have to say it, Will. Of course, I wanted to help."
"And how did you two do it?"
"El didn't find you at first, so I… we were really worried. I offered to help her when she said she sensed you but didn't know exactly where you were. So, while searching for you, she was also in my mind, and brought me to you."
Will nods, looking at the back of Mike's blue sweater, who turned away from him as soon as he finished speaking.
"I also wanted to thank you… For saving me, I mean." Says Mike after a little while, and this time, he doesn't look away. There is purpose in his eyes and his words.
A sorcerer, an honest-to-God sorcerer.
"I think you already said it a couple of times." Will gives him a soft smile, and Mike ducks his head and looks a little bashful, but he doesn't deny it.
"Do you want to listen to some music? There are some good records back here."
"Yeah, of course."
"But don't blame me if it's not sophisticated enough for your music taste."
"I won't say a word." And when Mike looks back at him with a furrowed brow, suggesting that he doesn't believe him, he adds. "I promise."
Will is dreaming. Probably, most definitely. And for people like him, dreaming is not only reaching for the unattainable, oh, he knows in this very moment, balancing familiarity with the secret ache of his heart, that it's more, it's dangerous. A song starts to play—based on the few guitar chords he registers that it's from The Cure, but didn't recognize it until he hears the first few lines—while Mike walks to him.
Show me how you do it
And I promise you, I promise that
"How did you figure out that you have powers? How did you kill those demos in only seconds?" He asks, while making himself comfortable, legs parted, his hand is at the back of the couch, almost touching Will's. Not like it means anything. Friends like to touch each other.
I'll run away with you
"I don't know, I just… I saw Lucas, Robin, and you through the demos' vision; they were out to get you. So, I wanted to do something, because I couldn't watch them..." He sees that Mike understands; he doesn't have to finish the sentence. And if this is a dream, Will can be bold; he can say the things that he would regret in the morning. "For all of my life, I was so afraid, Mike. I hide away the parts of me that I was taught I should be ashamed of. But I guess I just needed to be brave for once, not to blend in, not to be quiet."
Mike leans closer, and in the quiet of the basement, he hears the lyrics of Just Like Heaven again: "You're just like a dream | You're just like a dream". His dark eyes are fixated on Will, but it doesn'tt feel overwhelming at all. There is a gentle look in his eyes, a reassuring response to the weight Will has been carrying around in silence almost all his life. Maybe Vecna was all wrong. He was his best friend, after all. The boy he has known from kindergarten, spent many sleepovers with, and played D&D with on every Saturday. He was the brilliant Dungeon Master who always seemed to favour Will the Wise in any campaign he wrote—Lucas and Dustin used to complain about this when they didn't have bigger problems than defeating some imaginary monsters. If anything, Will knows that Mike truly cares about him. This care might not equal deeper feelings, but it's not the disgust he saw in his face in Vecna's vision.
Please, let the future he showed me be wrong.
Mike doesn't say anything yet. His whole attention is on Will. How does he do it? Is it on purpose that he makes Will feel like nothing and no one else matters when he tries to talk about something very important and personal to him? It was the same in the back of the van; he saw the same, soft, understanding gleam in his eyes, the same curious scrunch in his brows. When they were traveling through the desert, he thought the first person who should know about his secret was his best friend, who made him feel normal in a way no one else did. The painting was a burden—because, based on an impulsive decision, he had packed it; it was a painfully obvious sign of what he planned to do, and he was aware of it throughout the whole drive. "Do it like you're ripping off a bandage," he encouraged himself. But things didn't go as planned. When he heard Mike talk about himself in a way that made Will hurt, he knew that they wouldn't.
Will thought that it was his second chance.
"Robin helped me to understand..."
Okay, maybe he shouldn'tt have said that, because all of a sudden Mike shifted a few inches away from him, and Will knows he can't say "come back", even though he wants to. He starts to wonder why that sentence burst out of their bubble, but he can't think of anything except that Mike is not comfortable with change, especially when he has to welcome new people into his life. It was some time ago, but hedidn'tt like Max at first; moreover, he hated the idea that she could be a member of the Party.
"Robin." He is certainly annoyed. His lips are pressed together into a thin line.
"Don't be so surprised. If you knew her, I bet you would like her a lot. She is amazing, and she is a very brave person." Will's tone is playful, but it doesn't mask the admiration in his words. Mike doesn't seem convinced.
"What you said before... What did Robin help you with?"
This is it. Will shuts his eyes for a few minutes. His heart beats faster, his mouth feels too dry. Will he ever feel ready to speak the words in his mind into existence? Can someone feel ready to admit it?
I'm not like you, or Dustin, or Lucas, Mike. I'm queer. I'm gay. My father, the school bullies, and the whole town were right about me. I was so scared of them. I lived my whole life in fear, but the last days changed me. At the MAC-Z, I finally learned how to live for myself. Thanks to Robin, thanks to you.
"To accept myself... I saw Castle Byers, I saw Jonathan, mom, and you, and that gave me the courage to control the demos, because I couldn't imagine losing you."
There is a long pause as the music nears its end: "Why are you so far away, she said | Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you". A beat passes, then another. Will tries to read Mike, but a part of Mike's face is no longer fully visible because he has sunk back onto the other side of the couch. He thinks that it was too much. After all, he was terrible at depicting the difference between what was intended as friendly and what was romantic, so he wouldn't be surprised if what he said crossed a line.
"I know what you mean."
Then:
"You know, it's probably because half my family is in the hospital, my dad is still in a coma, and some evil bastard kidnapped my sister, and I don't even know how to reach her, just like I couldn't reach you without El, but I've been thinking so much about that week. It's like we're living it all over again."
Will knows what week he refers to.
"I jumped into the quarry back then." His voice is really, really quiet.
Will gasps. Suddenly, he feels very awake, way too awake.
"What, Mike? Why didn't you tell me?"
Mike looks at him, trusting, but a little scared. He seems somewhat guilty and speaks very slowly, as if he is searching for the right words.
"It didn't seem that important at twelve. I mean, a lot was going on in that week, and El saved me before anything could happen." He gulps, "That was the day after I saw that your body was found in the lake." Will really wants him to start talking again, because the silence is unbearable. He has no clue what's going on in his best friend's mind, but it could be anything—any dark, dark secret that Mike Wheeler decided to hide from the world or conceal like it doesn't even exist—after what he had just admitted. "And I did jump thinking about you, but I also did it for Dustin. In my mind, that was the only choice, you know? Because Troy wanted to cut off his teeth, and I couldn't let that happen. Thinking back, I know now that it was because I didn't know how to live after I saw your drawn body... at least everyone thought that it was you, so I eventually started to think the same."
"Mike..."
Will is crying, and Mike has tears in his eyes. And he is so beautiful and open. Will wants to tell him that he understands, that he felt the same the previous night, so he was so relieved when he saw that he was alive and well, but they don't need more words. Will's gentle touch on Mike's shoulder, their lingering gaze, and the comfortable silence they fall into say everything words could say.
After a while, which could be moments, hours, or a complete day—don't ask Will Byers about it, because he wouldn't know—Mike clears his throat, and Will realizes that his palm is still on Mike's shoulder, and it somehow miraculously moved towards his shoulder blade without Will's permission.
"It's okay, Will. Sorry for making this about me. I really wanted to talk about your moment back in the MAC-Z", he wiggles his brows, and Will giggles anyway, no matter how stupid it is, "but Robin, who is apparently an amazing person, told me not to hold back anything, since we might not have time to talk about things, because of the apocalypse."
"You talked with Robin?"
"What about it?"
"Nothing, nothing." He wants to say that when you talk with Robin, things could escalate quickly, but that probably wouldn't be enough for Mike Wheeler. "You know, that you can tell me anything, right? I can understand that it's not always comfortable to be vulnerable, but I'll listen to you. I'll always be there, because we're a team."
"Always? That sounds a little too generous, considering that the world is going to end soon."
"Oh, come on..."
Mike moves closer and wiggles his brows again.
"I'll be by your side until I can."
"Thank you, Will. I don't know if you need any support, because you're a sorcerer now, but I'll be there too, if you ever need me."
Oh, well... This is the time, Will thinks. This has to be.
"Mike, I..." Mike is studying him closely; he probably understands that this is going to be a serious conversation.
Loud steps on the stairs. The two of them move to the opposite sides of the couch, and Will feels the rush of blood on his face.
"Oh, here you are." Dustin is the first one to land at the end of the stairs; El and Kali are behind him. "We couldn't find you anywhere. We need to come up with a plan. Lucas is on the other end." His walkie is in his hand as he sits down at the table. El sits down next to him, but Kali hesitates.
Mike and Will share a last look before they turn to the remaining members of the Party. Will wonders what it means, and he knows that saving the world is their biggest issue right now, but he wishes that Dustin and the girls had waited a few more minutes.