Chapter Text
Idia could not count the amount of times he’d gotten roped into doing something absolutely insane because he was a housewarden. But this was a new low.
“Idols?”
The headmage nodded, completely ignoring the questions that Riddle was firing off at a bpm faster than any rhythm game chart. He continued talking about the whole situation, while Idia sat in his room, his tablet still, like a game character that was bugging out.
Was Dire freaking Crowley so deaduzz?! All 7 housewardens, becoming an idol group? As much as Idia loved idols (especially Premo), he knew that there was no way in all of Twisted Wonderland that all 7 of them could do this.
Riddle, well maybe. He had a sort of prince-like charm to him that could work in an idol group. Leona was a no-go. There’s no way the world’s laziest SSR prince would actually agree to this when he could spend all of that time napping instead. Azul would do a lot of stuff for a good price, though there's no way he'd leave the Mostro Lounge up to Jade and Floyd for long periods of time. Kalim would probably like to join, but he wouldn’t be able to for his own safety. Vil would be a natural, though Idia doubts he’d want to work with the rest of them. Malleus would likely get pretty far, and Sebek would likely be his first fan.
But Idia himself? No freaking way. He’d die before he fully learned the choreography, much less memorized it. Physical activity was almost every otaku’s weakness, and Idia wasn’t one to stray from stereotypes. As he glanced up from his fidgeting hands, everyone’s eyes seemed to be on his tablet. What was this? Did he miss some QTE or something?
“Well, Mr. Shroud?” Crowley offered. “Everyone else already agreed, but how do you feel?”
“Huh?!”
This was insane, insane in the membrane even. How in the world did 6 of the biggest SSR Troublemakers manage to agree on something in such little time?! And without any bribing from Crowley at that. Maybe the other housewardens were becoming better people...
...
Nah, there’s no way! Idia’s more likely to become an extrovert before something like the housewardens mentally recover from anything that’s happened in their lives. Crowley probably took a bit off of their workload in exchange for this. Oh well...
“Either way, it’s a majority vote that’ll decide it, so sure, I guess...”
Idia turned down the volume on his tablet almost immediately, due to Kalim’s enthusiastic cheering. He shook his head. How did extroverts have it in them to be this... well, extra? Though, Idia supposed he couldn’t be talking. He was quite a lot at times as well.
Idia hit the volume button on his tablet frantically as he faintly heard Crowley’s voice from the device.
“And now that we’ve covered that, all of you are free to leave! Ah, except for Mr. Shroud and Mr. Kingscholar,”
Idia froze in his seat. What did the headmage want with him and possibly the worst housewarden to be left alone with?! Did he want Idia to crash out?
“Since the two of you agreed to the idol plan, we’ll have to elect vice housewardens to assist with dorm issues while you’re away.” Crowley kept yapping on and on. Someone seriously needed to tell this guy about a feature called shutting up.
“Um... so we can just nominate someone now and you’ll check in with them before appointing them, right?”
“That’s correct, Mr. Shroud!”
“Then, I’ll have Ortho be mine...” Idia trailed off. Speaking of Ortho, he needed to ask him if he could
get more snacks for tonight’s raid with Muscle Red. Nothing too messy, and nothing too time consuming... but what kind of snacks would that even include?
A rough voice cut through Idia’s thoughts.
“I’ll leave the job to Ruggie,” Leona clicked his tongue, as if also deep in thought. But he shrugged it away, heading towards the door. “Anyway, I’m out.”
Idia side-eyes his tablet as he watches Leona try (and fail) to leave the room nonchalantly, accidentally tripping over his tail. Kinda gap moe, if you asked Idia. If he liked guys, this was likely what would’ve gotten him to fall head over heels for Leona. Thank the seven he didn’t.
Idia couldn’t help but let out a small snicker at Leona’s failed exit, only for Leona to whip his head back and glare at Idia’s tablet.
And that was his cue to leave.
Idia turned off the video on his tablet and moved it back to his dorm, as quickly as possible. He muted his mic, though he was still receiving sound, just in case. As his tablet moved past Leona, he heard him mutter something just below his range of hearing. Man, is this what Idia usually sounded like to others? No wonder people hated him.
While his tablet was still making its way back, Idia heard his door open. Typical annoying sibling behavior, but Idia didn't mind all that much considering it was from his wonderful little brother. Idia started up the game Muscle Red and he had been playing for the past few nights, ready to grind for a little bit before they did the raid together. He ignored the way Ortho's eyes were burning holes into the back of his head. Not literally, since Idia had been rightfully concerned about actually installing the laser eye function.
"What's up, Ortho?"
"You're really becoming an idol? No offense, Idia, but you'd faint within the first second of learning choreo for a song."
"I know! Besides, didn't have much of a choice, since everyone somehow agreed before I could even say anything... Damn extroverts..." Idia sighed, sinking into his chair. He held his mouse haphazardly, too bummed out by the day's events to lock in on his grinding sesh. Ortho stayed eerily quiet, as if he knew something Idia didn't.
Oh well, it couldn't be that bad, right?
"Hey Ortho, could you get me some snacks from the school store? My stash's running low."
"Can do! I'll be right back!"
Idia watched as his little brother flew off, probably going to get something ridiculously messy because he wanted Idia to try something new. Sevens, he loved Ortho, but Idia knew that his adorable little brother wasn't the most reliable all the time.
Only a few minutes later, Idia hears a knock on his door. Was Ortho back already or was he fucking cooked? Idia paused his game, his heart sinking into his stomach. His body felt way heavier than usual as he made his way to the door. Idia reached out, almost retracting his hand from the doorknob at the feeling of the cold metal under his pale hand. When Idia finally gathered up the courage to swing the door open, he was met face to face with fashion icon and Pomefiore housewarden, Vil Schoenheit.
"Idia, where have you been? The others are all at Ramshackle and asleep."
"O-Oh? For what purpose?"
Vil looked Idia in the eyes (much to Idia's disdain) and sighed. He was clearly annoyed, but the reason seemed to be fatigue over other factors.
"You didn't listen to a word of the conversation we had at the meeting, did you?" Vil didn't even bother waiting for Idia to answer before he grabbed him by his hood and began dragging him to the Ramshackle Dorm. Idia flailed his limbs around, but Vil was way too strong to be even slightly affected by Idia's struggling.
"Why are we even going to Ramshackle?" Idia chewed on his fingernail, seemingly done struggling for now. He waited for an answer, glancing up at Vil when he was met with silence.
"Hello? Twisted Wonderland to Vil?" Vil sighed, ignoring Idia's words as he let go of his hoodie.
"Crowley wants me to train all of you, like I did for the SDC team." Vil took a deep breath. "The prefect said it'd be alright to borrow Ramshackle again, so that's what's happening. Now hurry up and get to bed. Training starts tomorrow."
Idia gulped.
He was so fucking cooked.