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It had been a rather whirlwind adventure, dating his Quartermaster. It had been unexpected for all parties involved; naturally, working for MI6, “involved parties” meant more than just the two interested men. It meant Tanner. Moneypenny. M. Several of Q’s minions (most of whom were still terrified of the double-oh agent to this day). And, of course, medical.
James always laughs, thinking back on how Q first came to him, absolutely livid that the agent had absolutely destroyed a very valuable piece of equipment that he and his branch had spent ages preparing specifically for his mission and others like it in the future.
“It was a prototype, double-oh-seven! There isn’t a duplicate!”
Bond had just laughed, swatting at the woman who was trying to sew his arm back on — well, that’s what it looked like to Q. The agent had gotten himself really badly damaged.
“I brought it back, Q. Well. What was left of it.”
“Plastic! You brought me back shards of plastic.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at the boy. If he wasn’t careful, he’d give himself an aneurism at twenty-whatever he was.
“Shards of plastic from a prototype.”
“And what the hell am I supposed to do with them, Bond, what?”
“Put them back together?”
The poor Quartermaster was so worked up that he really couldn’t be held accountable for his actions… Reaching over to the little cart that was parked just behind him, he pulled out a syringe of some sort of heavy sedative and stabbed it right into the agent’s leg. The medic tending just looked at the thin man with a stunned expression. The little wisp of a man just went against all procedure and stabbed a field agent of three times his size with a syringe. But it seemed to put things a little more right. Q took a deep breath, pushed his glasses up his nose from where they slipped, and offered a smile to the attending.
“Apologies, Annie.”
“No… I should be thanking you. He never sits still enough to be fixed up properly.”
The quartermaster just sighed heavily, looking down on the agent with such a mixed look of such pity and regret and annoyance… Well, it was only a matter of time before Bond heard the story of how he’d been taken out by the least physically threatening person employed by Her Majesty’s Secret Service. Especially about the twisted detail of just how much Q had liked doing it. (Wouldn’t everyone in medical just love to get a stab in on Bond every now and again?)
It was the stab with the needle that got Bond’s attention. Of course it was. The tiny little man was standing up for himself physically. He couldn’t really just ignore that now could he? After that, he started testing Q’s boundaries, seeing how far he could get before provoking an action. That would be how he managed to terrify almost all of Q branch. The quartermaster himself seemed the most unaffected by it all. It didn’t take him long to get used to the agent’s antics. It was funny, though. The more he tried to annoy Q, the more drawn in he became. The more interested he was in Q’s little projects, the tiny details in the way he spoke or held himself, the click of his keys as he sent an email or coded a new firewall. There was something almost earthreal about him. The more he was around Q, the more he wanted to figure it out.
It was tricky. He was careful about himself. Not just himself, but basically everything that he did outside of work. But desperate times call for desperate measures and breaking into the quartermaster’s flat.
Things… Progressed from there. As it turns out, Q had been rather fond of James all along.
They were happy together. There was absolutely nothing that could be said to the contrary. James still basically refused medical, even when Q threatened him with sedatives. Q still worked ridiculous hours and never seemed to just leave work at work. But they managed to work it all out together. Fidelity wasn’t a question. For James, it was just part of the job to sleep around. Q never really got jealous of it. And Q? Well. Q didn’t exactly know anyone outside of MI6 so even the idea of him cheating deserved a good laugh.
Well.
I spoke too soon.
—-
His mission had taken him halfway around the world and across an entire hemisphere. New Zealand was a long, long way away from London. As usual, however, it didn’t bother either half of the couple. This was their job. Sometimes Bond got shot at. Sometimes he got sent into the mountains in New Zealand to retrieve vital information before it could be stolen or sold to a higher bidder. The worst part of the whole thing was, quite honestly, the length of time it took to get to and from his destination. By the time he arrived back at HQ to debrief, it was a day later, a season colder, and nearly entirely devoid of life. Other than the handful of minions in Q Branch and M and Tanner waiting for him, it looked like almost everyone was gone. It was almost odd, except it was the weekend. Q must have been at home, getting some much-needed rest after monitoring Bond at all hours.
The debrief was short and sweet, as they should be. There was no extra equipment to return, so it didn’t bother him that Q was nowhere to be seen. It was on his way out that he passed Moneypenny who smiled and he paused to say hello.
“Are you going to that new cafe with Q today?”
“What? What cafe?”
“The one that opened not two blocks from here. I mentioned it to him this morning as he was on his way out. Said he was meeting someone there. I thought it was you, skipping out on your debrief.”
“No. He didn’t mention it to me…”
Something clicked behind Eve’s eyes. Something James didn’t like.
“I might have misheard him…”
“Eve.”
“Really, James. These things do happen you know.”
Bond rolled his eyes at that, buttoning up his coat as Eve made her way down the hallway. She must have misheard. That’s probably all it was. But James went by the cafe anyway. Just to check it out. Maybe give him something to talk about with Q other than work. Q did hate it when he decided to pick on the television shows he had on while working on some of his pet projects at home.
It was a quaint little place, definitely somewhere that would attract young Quartermaster-types. A stylish hole-in-the-wall joint that boasted of their fresh and creative brews, hot bakery items, and free wifi. Definitely a spot Q could hole up in if he ever felt the need to get out of HQ. No doubt he had already hacked their wifi to suit his own purposes, assuming he was actually here.
He had been standing next to the window for some time, just observing the place and it’s current occupants and who was passing by, when he finally decided to go in and have a look for his boyfriend. Well. That turned out to be the first mistake. Pulling open the door, he saw Q stand up just as he stepped in. Bond smiled softly, raising a hand to wave and alert him of his presence but immediately froze as another man stood up as well… And kissed Q.
It was in a blind fury that James shoved the door open and stalked away. The door in question made a loud BANG as his weight was thrown against it, but he just ignored it along with the stares customers sent his way. He was furious. Livid. How dare he, how dare he cheat on him?? After all they’d been through, after all the trust they’d come to share… And he pulls a stunt like that?? No. Q would learn just the effects cheating on him had.
—-
Q appeared at home not long later and came face to face with Bond in what seemed highly similar to a murderous rage. The small man jumped back at the snarl on his partner’s face, startled out of his mind. He knew how to hold his own in a fistfight, but anything further than that and anything up against Bond? He wouldn’t last half a second.
“James? What… What happened?”
“What happened?? What happened, Q??”
“Yes! What happened? Last thing I knew you were safely on a plane to London. Tanner sent me an email saying your debrief was clean and… Did I miss something?” Because that was the only thing that would have made sense. Something happened between the debrief and now. Or something happened on the way home that he was upset Q hadn’t been around to witness. But he’d been forced away from his desk to go home and get some rest. So what in the hell was this, suddenly?
“I saw you, Q!”
What in the hell was he going on about?
“Saw me where? When? Bond, you just got home. Why don’t you just get some rest and we can figure this all out later.”
“No. Because I saw you, Q. I saw you. At the cafe. With another man.”
Q couldn’t help the scoff. “I apologize. For seeing an aquaintance without your permission.”
“That was more than an aquaintance!”
Bond’s fist hitting the wall startled the quartermaster into realizing that there had been a mistranslation. Somewhere. Because Bond was furious.
“He wasn’t… James, what do you think you saw?”
“You. And him. Kissing. Him kissing you. You. Returning. You’re cheating on me, Q!”
“I’m not-“
“I saw it!”
It was a struggle, but Q kept his cool and kept a strong front. He kept his mouth shut and stared down the rabid killer, imploring him to stay calm. Bond just watched him, the reed of a man with an impassive expression, deep green eyes fixed on him in a way they never fixed on anything outside his projects. Keep calm, 007. Storm out later.
When it seemed that James wasn’t about to rip out his throat, Q finally spoke up.
“Will you just listen to me now?
Bond huffed but nodded.
“James. That was my brother. Some of us do still have family, you know.”
Confusion, angry confusion creased the agent’s brow.
“But he kissed you.”
“Well, to be more precise, he kissed my cheek, but if you saw me from the door, I imagine the angle would be less then flattering.”
“Your brother?”
“Yes,” Q sighed heavily, relaxing as he rubbed tiredly at his eyes. “The majority of my family sees physical affection as necessary and healthy between siblings. I’ve never been one to agree, but I allow it, just to appease them if anything else.”
There was no facade there. Bond was trained to know when people were lying. There was no way this was anything other than the truth. Q’s body language spoke of defeat and exhaustion, not to mention deep annoyance. That was familiar, being Q’s almost constant body language in Q branch.
“So… Your brother came to visit.”
“Yes. He was passing through London on business. It was the only time I had to see him.”
“Couldn’t you have just said no?”
Q chuckled, smiling that endearing smile he saved only for Bond.
“Dear James. You have no idea just how much I couldn’t say no.”