Work Text:
Spider slipped out of the marui while everyone was sleeping and crept down to the water, glancing anxiously behind him to make sure no one had noticed his absence. He stepped out onto the rocks, slipped on a breathing mask, took a deep, shaky breath and dove beneath the smooth, still water. Spider swam slowly down towards the bright light of the Spirit Tree, apprehension building in his gut, every cell in his body screaming at him to turn around and just go back to bed.
He had been so jealous of the others, that they still got to see Neteyam, still got to talk to him, to touch him. It was the hardest difference to accept, the fact that Spider was the only one shut out from that experience. Kiri was struggling deeply with it as well, even more than him, but at least she had the hope that one day she could do it again, once they figured out her seizures. For Spider, he had known it was simply something he would never have access to. He was the only one in the family who had truly lost Neteyam forever.
And then—this miracle from Eywa. This gift Kiri had somehow granted him.
He had been wanting to do this for weeks now, ever since he had gained the ability to connect with Tsaheylu. But everything had been so crazy—and then he had been too afraid. Too ashamed. What if Neteyam blamed him? What if he hated him? He had every right to.
But he had to do this. No more putting it off. He had to talk to his brother.
Spider reached the Spirit Tree, its glowing tendrils undulating gently in the current. He hesitated then slowly connected his kuru. There was a flash of light and-- Spider blinked his eyes open slowly and looked around. He wasn’t underwater anymore. His feet were on solid ground and a gentle breeze stirred around him. He looked around in wonder, blinking up at the light filtering through the branches high above. He was back at Hometree. He was home.
Spider turned in a slow circle, eyes searching anxiously for his reason for being here. Then he spotted him. Neteyam was standing a little ways off, his back to Spider. Spider slowly approached the tall Na’vi and reached out a shaky hand, touching the older boy’s shoulder. Neteyam whirled around and his face broke into a grin at the sight of his little brother. His eyes widened in delight and confusion.
“Spider?! Bro—how—”
He pulled Spider into a tight hug, laughing.
Spider hung limply in his embrace for a moment then pulled back awkwardly. Neteyam might be glad to see him now. But he wouldn’t for long, not after Spider said what he needed to say.
“How are you here?” Neteyam demanded. “Wait.” He froze. “You’re not…you’re not dead, are you?”
“No,” Spider said quickly. “It’s, uh, it’s way weirder than that, cuz.” He paused, unsure how to even explain this.
“I was dying though. A few weeks ago. My mask ran out of air and I didn’t have my back up. And Kiri—she…”
“I should have known Kiri had something to do with this,” Neteyam said knowingly, proudly. “That’s my sister.”
He winked at Spider, grinning mischievously and Spider shoved him on the shoulder, face reddening.
“So now you can visit me here?” Neteyam continued eagerly. “This is awesome!”
“That’s not all. I can connect to the animals. And BREATHE the air.”
“What?” Neteyam said, jaw dropping. “Bro!”
“I know!” Spider agreed excitedly. Then the grin faded from his face. This was incredible. Getting to talk to Neteyam again was…everything. But it wasn’t why he was here. He took a step back and glanced at the ground, suddenly unable to look Neteyam in the eye.
“Hey bro, what’s wrong?”
“I have to tell you something,” Spider said in a small voice.
“What? Hey, it’s okay.”
Spider took a deep breath, trying to keep his voice from shaking. “The day you…the day you died…”
“Lo’ak told me,” Neteyam said softly. “I got shot.”
“You got shot because of me. It was my fault.”
“Hey.” Neteyam grabbed Spider by the shoulders and shook him gently. ‘NO. No, it was not your fault.”
“If you hadn’t come back for me—” Spider choked on the words, his eyes burning with tears.
“Of COURSE we were gonna go back, bro. We couldn’t leave you. We would never leave you.”
“You should have!” Spider cried out, his voice breaking.
“Bro,” Neteyam said gently, heartbreak written all over his face. “Do you really think that? Do you actually think that you’re not worth saving? That we wouldn’t come for you as fast as we’d come for, for Tuk or Kiri?”
Spider avoided his gaze as another tear slipped out.
“Bro! You’re just as much a part of this family as any of us. No matter what mom or dad say,” Neteyam added fiercely. “Tell me you know that. Look at me.”
Spider looked up reluctantly.
“Tell me you know that.”
Spider nodded, inhaling shakily. “But…you would have been safe. If you’d just left, you would still be—” His voice broke off.
“Stop,” Neteyam said firmly.
They both stood there for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, their own grief.
They’d been torturing you right?” Neteyam asked softly at last. “The RDA creeps? And forcing you to help them do horrible things to our People?”
Spider flushed with shame. “Yes,” he said softly.
“And you were a prisoner on that ship right?" Neteyam asked him.
“…Yeah,” Spider sniffled.
Neteyam shrugged and smiled. “Then we had to go back. We had to go back.”
Spider looked up at him in disbelief, tears streaming down his face now.
Neyetam pulled him back into a tight hug. “I’d do it again too. I love you, brother.”
A heavy weight lifted off Spider’s shoulders. This time he relaxed into the embrace, his head against Neteyam’s chest, a phantom heartbeat in his ear. He wrapped his arms around his brother’s waist and hugged him back tightly.
He shouldn’t have been afraid to come here. He should have known Neyetam would give him exactly what he needed.
Absolution. Forgiveness. Love.
That’s what big brothers did.