Work Text:
The outsiders chapter 13
It’s hard to turn the page when you know someone won’t be in the next chapter. But the story must go on…
And suddenly, life wasn’t about living. It was about surviving.
The last few days have been the longest days of my life. I tried to keep myself busy by focusing on getting my grades up. Because if I wasn’t distracted the memory of Johnny and Dallas dying in front of me consumed my mind. The way Dally’s body jerked from the impact of the bullets before crumbling to the ground, haunting me.
I guess trying to forget and push it all away didn’t work all that well because they were what I wrote my composition about anyway..
I finished my composition and re-read it a few times, even having Darry read it over before giving it to my teacher. I could tell by the way he glanced between me and the stack of papers that he was a bit shocked at how much I wrote, but he didn’t say all that much.
I picked at my nails and shifted my weight from one foot to the other as an uncomfortable silence came between us. The room felt as though it was growing smaller, like the air was being sucked out of it. It made me feel light headed and far too hot . I made some excuse and left, pushing past people as I made my way through the crowded hallway towards the main doors.
The fresh air hit me hard. It felt dry and humid all at once. I crashed against the neatest fence, my chest heaving.
“Ponyboy, are you alright? You don’t look too good there.” I felt a hand on my shoulder that I quickly shrugged off.
I turned back, glancing over my shoulder to see…Randy?
“I’m fine. Just,” My voice faltered for a moment before I continued. “out of breath from running to beat the crowd.” That was a dumb lie, I’m the best runner on the track team.
I saw the way he looked at me, his eyes full of pity.
Eyes truly do speak.
“Ponyboy, I know you’re-“
I cut him off quickly. “I said I’m fine!” I pushed off the fence and practically sprinted home.
My chest still felt tight, but it was easier to breathe as I ran now. (Why is this happening? Why do I keep feeling like this?..)
I stopped a bit down the road, the sound of arguing stopping me.
The gang has been struggling recently.
Steve and Two-bit have been having it out. That’s how it’s been since Johnny and Dallas... It’s got Soda real on edge. The fear of loosing more people—his friends, his family. Was eating away at him. You could just tell. He grew quieter, detaching himself from the rest of us. More anxious. H’started smoking more ‘to ease a bit of stress’ he’d said. It’s not like him at all. It’s really freaking me and Darry out.
I walked closer walking past Two-bit and Steve into the house.
I found Darry trying to calm Soda, who was stressing out. I walked over to them, wrapping my arms around them without a word. Soda was shaking like a pop bottle threatening to explode.
“It’s alright kid. It’s all going to be alright..” Darry spoke calmly and quietly, but I couldn’t tell if he was reassuring Soda or himself.
Johnny and Dally’s deaths hit us all hard in different ways, some harder than others.
Every one loses someone they care about, the real test of character is what you do once they’re gone…