Chapter Text
Tsukasa claimed he wasn't nervous at all. This was the fourth time he'd said that. However, Rui knew him too well to ignore the truth. He wrapped his arm around his boyfriend, holding him close. They sat in the night fog, leaning against a tree.
"This one's the brightest," the blond said, pointing to one of the prominent stars.
"It's just the closest one." Rui rolled his eyes with a sly smile, pleased at the opportunity to be a smart-ass, yet captivated by his naivety and simple way of looking at the world.
Tsukasa chuckled and rested his head on the boy's shoulder, a gesture he followed with a tender kiss on the top of his head. He wasn't bothered by Rui's logical explanations, knowing his thinking was based more on physics and science, but that didn't bother him. Not at all. Despite everything, he believed that one day he would shine like the brightest star.
The opportunity for this soon arose when Tsukasa received a letter from the best acting university in the world, located in the United States. The boy felt his greatest dream was coming true. He had been jumping for joy since morning, listening to the proud praise from his parents and younger sister. However, not everything was as rosy as it seemed. As soon as Rui found out, he was not thrilled.
"You're leaving? To the United States?"
"Mhm! This is amazing! I've been waiting for this for so long! I finally have the chance to become a real star!" Rui put his arm around him, as he always did.
"Great," he replied, trying to hide his displeasure. "And how long are you going for?"
The question was apt. Too apt, even. Tsukasa remained silent for a moment, feeling the grip tighten around his waist.
"Well... I'm not sure... The studies themselves will take three years, and then if everything goes according to plan, I'll get a job there as a full-fledged actor..." he explained, slightly fearing Rui's reaction. He knew his boyfriend had never wanted to permanently move to another country and was comfortable in Japan, which clashed with Tsukasa's plans to become a global star. They'd sometimes argued about it, but it was never anything serious. But now, things were a bit different.
"Are you kidding?" he snapped. "Are you trying to tell me you plan to stay there permanently?"
"You know, well... I'm planning on three years of studies first, and then we'll see..."
"You know perfectly well that with your acting skills, you're almost guaranteed a job there," he replied nervously. "When are you planning to go there?"
"Well... Three weeks at the latest."
Rui gritted his teeth for a brief moment, then, without replying, changed the subject, talking about the latest robot he'd built. Tsukasa was a bit surprised, though he took it as tacit acceptance. Damn, he didn't know how wrong he was.
That night, Rui couldn't sleep. It was a night like any other: he'd been up late working on mechanisms, but it was already three o'clock. He lay idly in bed. He was too tired to continue working, but he couldn't sleep. He thought about Tsukasa and his studies. He couldn't imagine his boyfriend leaving for at least three years, but he also couldn't imagine himself moving to another country. He realized how their dreams were so contradictory. He wanted to be an ordinary designer and inventor, and Tsukasa a world-famous star. He couldn't enjoy his fame in Japan either.
"Damn, this doesn't make sense," he thought, rolling over. "I have to do something."
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and his mother entered the room, in her pajamas, with drooping eyes and a slightly hunched posture.
"Rui, honey, it's bedtime."
Usually, Rui let him stay up late; she was used to it, having married a robot maker and being a biologist herself. It was obvious that each of them went to bed at an insanely late hour, but she usually tried to make sure to rush her son to sleep when it got too late. She was surprised, however, to find Rui in bed, not at his desk, as he usually did.
"Rui?"
"Yes, I'm turning off the light now."
"Everything okay?"
"Mhm, goodnight."
Of course, his mother could hear the despondent tone in Rui's voice. He knew it perfectly well, but he also knew the woman wouldn't investigate. Not at such a late hour. When the door to his room closed, Rui turned off the lamp, but he still couldn't sleep. Thoughts tormented him, knowing he couldn't let Tsukasa go so far, for so long.
A week had passed since then. Rui tried to act normal around Tsukasa, even though fear and helplessness were consuming him from the inside. How was he supposed to tell his boyfriend that he had to abandon all his plans and dreams because he couldn't imagine a long-distance relationship? But he had to tell him if he wanted to stop him.
He knocked on the door hesitantly. He felt a strange sense of relief when he saw Saki, instead of Tsukasa, at the very entrance.
"Oh, hi, Rui! Please come in! Are you here to see Tsukasa?" the boy nodded. "He's in his room."
"Thanks," he replied, heading towards the blond's room.
He knew the building very well. After all, he'd spent many hours here, spending a lot of time with Tsukasa. And now, in the same room where they'd once spent so many happy moments, watching silly movies, fooling around, and laughing, he had to tell him that he simply couldn't go away to college.
"Oh, hi, Rui," he greeted him cheerfully, hugging him warmly, though slightly surprised by his visit. "What's up?"
"We need to talk."
"Sounds serious. What's going on?"
"I don't want you to go away to college." This time, Rui wasn't going to beat around the bush. He spoke directly and decisively.
"I understand, honey, but this is a great opportunity for me. And it's only three years."
"I know you're planning to stay there longer."
"You should go there with me. I'm sure you'd be drawn to this place." Tsukasa cupped Rui's cheek with his gentle hand, but the purple-haired man looked even more nervous.
"No. You're staying in Japan."
"But what are you talking about? You can't stop me."
"I can, and I do. You're not going anywhere. Become a star here, not far from home."
"I'll go anyway. This is a great opportunity for me."
"You won't go."
"Because what?" Rui slowly began to panic, unsure how to change Tsukasa's mind. He didn't want to use the last argument, but he had to.
"Because if you go, it's the end of us." The blond stiffened at those words. It was the last thing he expected. For a moment, he didn't know what to say or what to do.
"Why can't we have a long-distance relationship?" he asked, his voice trembling after a long silence.
For the next few minutes, Tsukasa listened to Rui's discourse on why such a relationship was pointless. He was terrified at the thought of losing him, but he also didn't want to miss out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for professional success.
"You have until the day you're scheduled to fly to the States to decide," he said firmly, then left the house.
Rui loved Tsukasa. He loved him deeply and didn't want to lose him, but he knew that being apart for so long would destroy their relationship, and he wouldn't let that happen. On his terms. Rui hurried to his house, as if afraid he'd hear the other boy's cries from this distance. Because he knew he could hurt him.
A week passed. Tsukasa was torn. For a whole week, he hadn't had any contact with Rui. He was afraid he'd be forced to make an immediate choice. And he didn't want to. University studies were his biggest dream, and at the same time, an open door to a great career, so why did Rui have to make it so difficult? He knew his boyfriend preferred to stay in Japan, but what harm would it do to him to leave for three years or try a long-distance relationship? On the other hand, he loved Rui very much and would do almost anything for him. He couldn't imagine their relationship ending after two years of tender encounters, hours of cuddling, dozens of kisses, and moments of fooling around. He so desperately didn't want to lose him.
Time flew by... The deadline was approaching, and Rui still hadn't heard anything. On the one hand, it reassured Rui, knowing Tsukasa wouldn't choose stupid studies over his. He was a little worried that the ultimatum he'd issued might destroy their relationship once the blond decided to stay in Japan.
When the day Tsukasa was to leave arrived, it was a crucial day. Rui was about to learn the decision he already knew. That evening, he packed a bag with some sweets to appease his boyfriend, knowing he'd probably be upset or offended, and left the room.
He quickly reached Tsukasa's house and knocked hurriedly. Saki, who seemed to be mid-evening routine, opened the door again. She smiled:
"Hey, Rui! What's up?"
"Hey, I'm here to see Tsukasa."
"Tsukasa? He had a flight to the States in the morning... Didn't he tell you?"
It hurt more than Rui could have expected. He couldn't believe his boyfriend could really do that. From Saki's behavior, he could tell she didn't know anything. The purple-haired man decided Tsukasa should be the one to tell her everything.
"Indeed. You're right."
"Are you feeling better now? Tsukasa said you didn't say goodbye to him at the airport because you weren't feeling well..."
Rui nodded and, after giving her the crap about a migraine, politely said goodbye and went home, where he locked himself in his room. He couldn't believe his boyfriend had actually chosen such a stupid college.
He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream, and he definitely didn't want to accept it. But he couldn't risk his parents coming over and having to explain himself to them. He lay down on the bed, grabbed his phone, and wrote a quick message to Tsukasa:
"You've made your decision. We're over."
And he blocked his number, then threw the phone aside and pressed his face into the pillow, holding back tears. His hands were clenched in the sheets. He still couldn't believe this was all happening.