Work Text:
What could he possibly do?
Haruka was laying on the couch, his blanket long thrown off onto the floor. He felt way too hot with it on and the fabric was scratching at his skin in a way that made him want to rip it off and pour salt onto the open wound, so it was better off far, far away from him. He wasn't at home, he didn't exactly want to go home either, but whatever was going on here was horrible.
Muu's parents were staying out of town and they asked him to come over and keep her company for a few days. That's no problem. But at nighttime, there was a little problem. No, not really, rather a huge problem. He wanted to sleep in her room, he really did, and she asked him if he wanted to as well, implying she wouldn't mind, but he chickened out at the thought of having to look at Muu sleeping and, he doesn't know, falling off the bed or something.
She had a really gorgeous face and he certainly made no move to deny it. Everything about her had similar characteristics and she was also really kind — Even if he lied to her about it, denying it to himself was completely unneeded… He had a really, really bad crush on her. So he didn't want to sleep in her room, but now he was stuck on the couch in a pool of his own sweat because his damn nightmares wouldn't leave him alone.
He saw the clock from his spot, and he remembers getting about 15 minutes in before waking up, eyes wide and heart racing. And that was at ten. It was three in the morning now, he was hungry and he felt like he was on an autopsy table and they were ripping his ribs out on the way to his heart. He rolled over onto his back, the ceiling a comforting white that calmed his aching eyes. He had not stayed asleep for more than 30 minutes at a time since he tried to lay down, and he felt himself getting really tired, but he couldn't close his eyes.
If he did, he saw them leaving. He didn't want to see that, ever, so he just endured the burn. Even that was better than being abandoned, being left alone, being so useless that they have to discard him. He wiped his damp hair out of his face. He really wanted to get up and drink water, but waking Muu up is something he wouldn't forgive himself for, (and she'd be upset too, probably) so he prevailed in his task of laying like a dead body with eyes open in the dead of the night. Like one does.
Slow, careful creaking on the staircase made him snap his head to the side again. A short figure was emerging from behind the railing, hunched over. The floorboards made a whiny sound under her feet and she snapped back, almost instantly. Haruka sat up. "Is someone there?" He had a hunch. Muu told her about having nightmares before, but this is their first sleepover. She usually went to her parents, too, and they comforted her pretty well. And she did call him sometimes, but she just said she couldn't sleep and that was that. They talked, she eventually fell asleep on the line and he hung up after half an hour or so.
She's never talked about the nightmares. But now, she was coming down the stairs, her face now visible from the light of the digital clock. Her cheeks were stained with tears and she looked so sad — He hasn't seen her this sad in ages. The last time she looked like this was when he came to walk her home from her old school. He thought back, and the face she made then looked the exact same as the face she was making right now.
Muu inched closer, the carpet muffling her steps. Haruka opened his arms, trying his best to smile and look reassuring. She helped him many times before, so he had to return the favor; That's what friends do for eachother. He heard her sniffle before she ran towards him and collapsed forward. She was crying now, his shirt was getting wet at the chest from her tears, but he didn't really mind as long as she was okay. He put a hand in her hair. She always did that for him when he was upset, so he figured that was something acceptable to do.
He placed his other hand on her back and pulled her closer, trying to mimic what she usually does in a situation like this, but his face was growing hot. She was his friend, but he had also stopped denying the obvious, and he was indecisive between letting her keep sobbing into his chest or pushing her off so he doesn't pass out. But the answer was right in front of him, in his trembling hand in her hair. He had no plans of letting her draw away. At least not until she stops crying like this.
Her shaking was starting to subside, and she began pulling her soaked face away. Haruka instincitvely took his hands off of her, and she slowly sat down next to him on the couch. Before he could completely close a distance between them, she grabbed his arm and leaned her head onto his shoulder. He felt.. really warm, even warmer than when she was hugging him — She was holding his hand now, after all.
"Muu-san, is everything okay?" He hated the question tailor-made for this situation. If you can see that someone is not okay, what's the point of asking if they're doing fine instead of just asking what's bothering them? But that would be too straightforward, and he didn't want to be blunt, so he stuck to what society had offered to him. Muu shook her head. "Muu is.. having nightmares again." She choked out a sob. "Mom and dad usually comfort me but— they're, they're not here, and— And i'm scared, and—" She cut herself off with another uncharacteristic gurgling sound, followed by a whine.
He was so confused. This is out of his expertise and he's never actually comforted someone like this. Especially not at three in the morning. Sure, he has given words of reassurance to Muu before, when she still went to her old school, but she never had a full-on breakdown like this in front of him. Never. She was always so put-together and he really looked up to her, and now she was just falling apart and he was supposed to make her feel better or something. He wanted to! He really did, but he didn't have any idea what he had to do. Just as he was about to accept defeat, she lifted her head. "Haruka-kun, could you sleep upstairs with Muu today?" She tilted her head, short hairs falling on her face. Haruka tensed up.
Well. He did come down to the couch for the exact reason of avoiding sleeping in the same room as Muu. And he did feel like he was going to end up getting up again and telling her that he just can't do it. Or he won't sleep at all and he'll just sit there wide awake. But he had to make certain sacrifices if he wanted to make Muu happy, so he was going to demonstrate his willingness and nod along to whatever she's asking of him, just for tonight. And so he did. She sighed and got up, the couch creaking from the loss of weight, and pulled him up by his hand. He just went after her — It wasn't really his decision, since by now, he could barely feel his legs, let alone use them properly.
He walked up the stairs in a daze and barely even noticed when they entered Muu's room until she asked him in a quiet voice to close the door. He's been here a lot. The room itself wasn't very big, but it sure felt like it with the large window reminescent of stained glass art in churches next to the bed. It just gave the space a different feel than a normal window. They spent a lot of evenings stargazing there, but Haruka always went home after that. It's his first time sleeping in her room. He took a few steps towards the bed, seeing as Muu had already laid down, and sat on the floor next to it. He leaned his head on the mattress and closed his eyes, but as he was drifting off, he heard Muu speak. "Haruka-kun, you're not planning on staying there, are you?" He opened his eyes and adjusted himself, so that he was looking at her now. "When I said sleep with me, I meant on the bed, you know." He felt his heart stop in his chest.
Okay, deep breaths, Haruka, deep breaths— "It's okay if you don't want to, having you around is just fine, but … Muu was hoping you could, you know, maybe hold her han—" Okay, deep breaths aren't fixing this. She looked genuinely upset that he didn't immediately take the hint that she wanted to cuddle or something, and he was starting to feel bad about it too, so he got up, gave an apologetic shrug and sat on her bed next to her. The bed was pretty big, too. There would have been space for two if they wanted to be apart from eachother. He figured he should lay down, not just kneel there, so he did — an acceptable distance from her, of course — and tried his best not to stare. Maybe laying facing her was a horrible idea.
He closed his eyes and heard the covers rustle before feeling a bit of warmth near his chest. He experimentally raised his arm — if maybe, maybe Muu wanted to come closer or anything, and to his surprise, he guessed pretty much correctly. He could feel her hair tickling his face a bit before she wrapped an arm around his waist, sighing contently. He warily opened his eyes. They were laying about face-to-face with eachother, except Muu's face was more around his chest than his head. Her other arm was, just like his, sort of awkwardly squeezed between them, but she took the oppurtunity and decided she'll just hold his hand. He thought that he shouldn't just keep his arm at his side, so he copied her actions and put a hand on her back. She hummed and shifted a bit, leaning into his hand. She idly stroked his hand with her thumb, and then let go for a minute to properly intertwine their fingers.
He could feel himself becoming shyer by the minute. And almost as if she could sense it, she just giggled and pulled closer. "You should get some sleep too, Haruka-kun. It's coming around to summer, so the sun will rise soon, and then it'll be hard." Well, he couldn't argue with that, and it wasn't exactly uncomfortable to lay down like this. He did like it, after all. He did like her. And even if she most likely considered this a friendly gesture, he was really happy that she ended up coming to him in the end. He closed his eyes again, and drifted off to sleep.