Chapter Text
Your tail twitched anxiously behind you as you heard Neytiri ask, “Where is Jake? Where is my husband?”
She laid on her back, cushioned by the mossy ground below the Tree of Souls. Purple bioluminescence shadowed her face, outlining how much pain she was in. Another contraction evidently tore through her as her whole body tensed and her face contorted.
“He is coming,” you encouraged her. You looked over your shoulder to Max to get an update on the Olo’eyktan’s arrival. The scientist shook his head at you and your heart sank to your toes.
Max gripped his comms as he spoke back and forth with Neytiri’s husband. Jake would miss the birth of his child if he did not hurry.
Neytiri groaned in agony, grabbing your arm in an iron hold. “You are doing well Neytiri.” you muttered, brushing away the hairs that stuck to her face.
“If I do not live, I want you to take care of Jake and the baby,” Neytiri demanded, looking up to you with wide, terrified eyes.
“Do not speak that way, just breathe,” you redirected her, grabbing her hand with both of yours as Mo’at started chanting.
“Something is wrong. Just promise me this!” Neytiri exclaimed, a bead of sweat rolled down her forehead.
“I will, I will take care of them,” you promised, feeling as if you had just signed her death sentence.
“Good, good.” She nodded, sighing in relief, slumping down on the forest floor but her hand never lost its grip. “His name is Neteyam. He will carry the songs of the ancestors in his heart. A brave leader, a fearsome warrior,” she whispered to the tree canopy high above.
“A strong name, he is already like his mother,” you smiled, your bottom lip trembling.
“We have to do a C-section!” Max called from where he was looking at his machine near Neytiri’s knees. “We don’t have time to take her back to the lab, it’s here and now.”
“She needs to push,” You corrected, but Mo’at shook her head sadly. “The baby is twisted, we will have to cut.”
Her words stole the breath from your lungs. Neytiri was right, something was wrong. Neytiri’s chances of recovering from that were slim. A mother always knows.
“Save the baby! I die either way,” Neytiri ground out.
“Mo’at?” Max asked, knowing he had to follow the rules of the clan, follow the Tsa’hik’s orders since the Olo’eyktan was absent.
“I will do it,” Mo’at muttered, unsheathing her knife and raising it above her daughter.
-
When you walked off of the raised dais with a swaddled baby in your arms, you could barely think of what to do next. Your hands felt numb and your ears rang as the baby cried. Little Neteyam, singing already.
The only thing you could think of was the last living parent this child had. “Jake needs to be here,” was what you managed to say. Mo’at’s cries could be heard from the tree of souls as she held her daughter’s lifeless body.
Max nodded and he pursed his lips. “He is heading back now, he finally came in over comms.”
Jake had been many leagues away from the forest when his wife had gone into a swift and early labor. This was the first year Jake had represented the Omatikayan’s as Olo’eyktan at the meeting of the clans. Every tribe gathered several times a year to discuss problems and come to solutions. It was to build community and create unity. They were meeting in the plains, a half a day’s ride from the forest.
“Do not tell him of her death until he arrives,” you said, knowing he could do something reckless on the way home if he knew. The baby needed him.
-
Eclipse was drenching the clearing in darkness when Jake finally ran through the trees. You knew he had known this would not be a joyful day, but the anguish on his face was visible even in the relative darkness.
His mantle was missing from his regalia, but he was slathered in paint and adornments from the celebrations. He must have flown straight here. His dreads fell around his shoulders, creating a curtain as his head hung in sorrow. You heard the first sob rip through his throat and you held Neteyam closer.
Norm grabbed Jake as he collapsed at the sight of his wife laying on the moss, Mo’at still so deep in her grief that she had not noticed his arrival. You watched as Jake clutched Neytiri’s body and wept.
It would be hours before he looked for his son. In the meantime, you cleaned Neteyam and checked over him for any injuries sustained from the surgery. He was a perfect, healthy baby boy, maybe a tiny bit small from being born a few days earlier than expected. He slept on and off, crying when he woke up to see his mother still had not awoken.
Norm kindly brought you powder that mixed with water to become milk, promising it would work until there was a better solution. The humans had a baby boy that lived with them, Spider, who had recently weaned off of it a few months ago. He figured it would work similarly for a Na’vi baby.
You sat on the ground and fed Neteyam while you waited for Jake and Mo’at to finish saying goodbye. You mourned for your friend, but you would respect her wishes best now by stamping down that welling flood of tears and sorrow to focus on her little boy. His three little fingers curled around yours as you held the bottle to his mouth.
He was precious. A shock of jet black hair sat on his head, his bioluminescent freckles glowed to life as the sun descended behind the trees. His freckles were vaguely similar to Jake’s yet his stripe pattern was unarguably Neytiri’s. You traced a small glowing dot under his chin and he cooed.
Jake stumbled over and dropped in front of you, crossing his legs as he observed you holding his baby. “Your son is strong, he is Neteyam,” you said, voice hoarse and breaking.
“Neteyam,” he tested the word in his mouth and must have liked it. He held out his arms and you passed over the baby. Jake looked at you in numb gratitude as you settled the baby to his chest.
Now that the bundle was no longer in your arms, the responsibility having passed on to another for a moment, the weight of the day crashed down on you. You subconsciously started slowly rocking side to side, your cheeks growing wet with tears as you watched Jake hold his baby for the first time.
“He looks just like her,” Jake murmured, holding out a hand to brush along Neteyam’s face.
“She lives on in him,” you agreed. Your voice wobbled and Jake looked up at you for the first time. Sad eyes met sad eyes, two people who had lost so much.
His lips quivered as he let out another sob, swallowing it down as he looked back to his son. You reached out a hand and placed it on his, “She lives on with the ancestors now Jake. She feels no pain, she is with her father, her sister. Take comfort in that,” you said, even as you closed your eyes and more tears fell down your face.
“Thank you, for taking care of him,” Jake croaked.
“Neytiri made me promise to watch over him. I am at your disposal,” you swore.
Jake nodded, looking back down to his son, “I think he’s falling asleep,” he said after a moment. You looked to see he was correct.
“New babies sleep a lot,” you informed him, “He needs to rest, and so do you. Let the others make preparations, you need to sleep.”
Jake numbly nodded, not thinking all that straight as he went to stand up. You helped him not drop Neteyam, supporting the baby as he rose on weak legs.
-
None of you rested well that first night in the kelku he once shared with Neytiri. You and she used to weave baskets and prepare meals here. You watched her belly swell and heard her dreams for her unborn child while you sat on the floor.
Neteyam laid in a woven bassinet on wooden legs that his father and mother had worked together many weeks to make for him. He screamed into the night, and each time, you and Jake both rushed to accommodate him. Jake was frantic and half lucid while trying to make his son happy.
You were the steadying force, showing Jake how to make a bottle, change Neteyam’s soiled clothes and sing him a song to calm him, eventually taking over each time when you noticed how badly Jake’s hands were shaking.
Jake laid alone in his hammock for the first time in nearly a year, reaching out to feel for Neytiri in his sleep and jerking away each time he found it was empty.
You laid on the floor, tossing and turning but sleep never found you. You cried silently into the night and you heard Jake doing the same, both too swallowed in your own grief to comfort the other.
-
Several months later, you stood before Jake in the kelku that had quickly become a primary home for you. You were dressed with special adornments for the ceremony with his 3 month old baby at your side, resting in a netted wrap that secured him to your front. Jake fiddled aimlessly with Neteyam’s tiny arm cuff and straightened it out before his eyes found yours.
Jake wore his Olo’eyktan feathered mantle over his shoulders, looking every part of his title. A white dividing line split his face, matching the one on yours and Neteyam’s faces as you still mourned Neytiri. The line represented your soul being cleaved in two at the death of someone so close to you and you still feel the ache there at the loss.
“You should do this alone,” you muttered, not wanting to overstep or make Jake feel you needed to be included.
“You have helped me every step of the way. Neteyam probably wouldn't have survived me by myself. You deserve to be up there with us so you get to see his face,” Jake said, a small smile made its way to his lips as Neteyam grabbed onto a piece of your hair.
“But I am not his mother,” you reminded him.
“Maybe not, but Neytiri chose you for a reason. He is a piece of you now, like it or not,” Jake corrected, reaching down to pluck a piece of jewelry from a basket near the door and walked back over to you.
“I think you should wear this, she would have wanted you to have it.” Jake said. He took your free hand in his and attached a green beaded bracelet that spanned half your forearm. It was the piece that you had made for Neytiri to celebrate her pregnancy so many months ago now. You had poured all of your hopes and wishes for her new life into this bracelet, praying it would remind her of a friend who loved her.
Now, all those hopes for her were gone and dead. You had been forced to gather all of the pieces of her life and poorly cobble them together for Neteyam’s sake, and for Jake’s. You knew they would not have made it this far without you, but you still felt that you had super imposed yourself over Neytiri’s life, taking her spot as if it was something that could be filled.
Your eyes welled with tears as Jake admired the bracelet on your wrist. “I spent many days making this for her. I was so excited for this baby to arrive,” your voice broke as you started crying, Neteyam tugged on the piercing in your earlobe, but you barely noticed.
Jake gently swept Neteyam’s hand away and pulled you into his chest as you cried. “Hey, I know. I know…” Jake murmured. He pulled your head down to rest on his shoulder. You shielded Neteyam from being crushed between you, but Jake’s presence was still a firm comfort.
You cried and he held you. What a relief to not be going through this horrible thing alone. He dragged a hand down your back, whispering soft platitudes to you until your tears slowed and you picked your head up.
“Today is supposed to be happy, it's gonna be okay, babygirl.” Jake offered, dragging a thumb under each of your eyes to dry your tears.
You nodded, forcing a wry smile to your face and sniffling. “That’s the spirit, there she is,” Jake whispered, a soft, genuine smile found his lips and it eased the heaviness in your heart.
“We are going to be late,” you muttered, holding on to Neteyam securely with one hand and taking the wrap off of your neck with the other.
“They can’t start without us,” he reminded you, as he circled around to start untying the contraption at your back.
The net came loose and fell away from your body. Jake took it and wrapped it up in a ball, throwing it into a basket.
“Come, your son wants to see his mother again,” you said, holding out Neteyam who reached out wriggling hands for his father. Jake’s mouth turned into a grim line as he held his son and carried him throughout the village to the tree of souls.
Mo’at was waiting for you in the clearing as she waved a wrinkled hand at her grandson. The people surrounded her in a circle, arms interlocking as you passed to close in around the family.
You stepped to the side, finding a relative near the inner circle to clasp arms with. You still didn't want to overstep your boundaries. As much as you wanted to be with Neteyam as he connected with Eywa for the first time, you knew you were not his blood family. You had no tangible reason to be up there with them.
Jake spun around, looking for you when he realized you were no longer beside him. He furrowed his hair covered brows at you, gesturing for you to follow.
You simply smiled sadly and nodded him forward, wanting him to have the moment with his son. He shook his head once, "We're waiting on you, come on," he said, waving you over again.
You looked to Mo’at who looked back at you expectantly, “Come child,” she urged you impatiently.
You blushed lightly and joined them both under the tree. Mo’at started chanting, the people following her lead as Jake held Neteyam up to a vine. You watched Neteyam's little face in wonder as Mo’at attached his kuru to the tree, the vine glowing purple as the connection was made.
Neteyam’s tiny face lit up in joy as he saw things you couldn't. You placed a hand on Jake’s bicep and saw he was also grinning broadly at his son. His eyes met yours and you exchanged meaningful looks. You liked to imagine Neteyam was meeting his mother again now, that maybe her arms carried him as she showed her creation to the ancestors.
-
Neteyam’s screams tore through the night, as they often did. You groaned softly, rolling out of your hammock before you stumbled over to his bassinet.
You had stayed with the Sully boys far past the first night because of Neteyam’s nightly tantrums. You were the only one who could calm him down. Mo’at had tried so you could get some sleep, but it was to no avail. Even Jake hardly made a dent, only having success after several hours of trying.
No, it was easier if you were the one to care for him. Now that Neteyam was six months old, connecting to Eywa brought him peace more than any person could and you brought him to the Tree of Souls on nights where he was nearly inconsolable.
That is where your feet brought you now. The night was cool and mild, the perfect night to be at peace and think. Your sleep deprived mind found comfort in the breeze that swept past, lifting your hair.
You held Neteyam in the crook of your arm as you attached his kuru, his eyes closed and his cries died down, replaced with a content smile.
You hesitated, but you too attached your kuru to a nearby branch and relaxed as you were transported to a new scene. Neytiri stood before you, her eyes bright and her mouth upturned as she cuddled Neteyam in her arms.
“Neytiri,” you sighed, happy to see her as she was meant to live. Lush greenery surrounded her as sat in the area outside of the kelku, a spot you walked through several times a day. You lowered yourself to the ground in front of her.
“Hello friend,” Neytiri replied, glancing up at you as she held her son’s miniscule hand. “He is healthy. You have done well caring for him, as well as I would have,” she grinned knowingly.
“I have done my best,” you noted, releasing a tired sigh.
“And that has made you exhausted,” she observed.
“Yes, but we have begun to find happiness again. I will not be tired forever. Your son is worth the effort,” you replied.
She nodded, “and my husband?” she asked pointedly.
Your eyes widened as she stared at you carefully taking in your reaction.
“What about him? He is well,” you murmured, a flash of panic hit you and you worried she would rebuke you.
“He visits me and speaks of you often. He confesses that he cares for you, that it is turning into something more,” she cocks her head.
“I- I did not know he felt that way,” you stammered.
“I thought as much, although I can see you feel the same,” she pointed out, leaning closer to you.
“Neytiri…” you started, but ran out of words to say as she shook her head and her expression shifted.
“The first time I brought him to hometree, I saw the way he looked at you. I saw how you admired him. I thought even then that you would make a good pair, but Eywa had other plans and I grew to love him. I loved him so much,” she smiled in thought.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, your voice not daring to get louder.
“For what friend? It is your turn to love him now. I told you to take care of him, did I not?” she asked impatiently.
You huffed out a laugh at her abrupt turn. “I did not think you meant in that way.”
“Love is the strongest form of care,” she affirmed. She turned her head, hearing something you could not. “He has come for you. Go to him with my blessing, the Olo’eyktan cannot carry the mantle alone.”
“Thank you Neytiri.” you nodded, eyes clouding with tears as your dearest friend caressed her baby's face. “Give me another moment with my son,” she requested.
“As long as you wish,” you granted before you opened your eyes.
Purple light filled your vision as you blinked away tears. You reached up and gently tore your kuru from the vine, turning to see Jake watching you with calculating eyes.
“He was crying?” Jake asked after a moment, gesturing to his son who sat at your hip with his eyes closed.
“Yes, he is happy with his mother now, but she told me something interesting,” you explained to him.
Jake lifted his brows, “oh yeah?” He stepped closer to you, threading his fingers through the bioluminescent vines as he cocked his head to face you, “What was that?”
“She said you were growing to care for me,” you said, watching as his eyes narrowed, searching yours for any sign. “She sent me with her blessing, although I am still uncertain.”
Jake paused, “Uncertain?” he asked for clarification.
“We are still mourning her. We have been raising a child together. Our feelings are muddy right now,” you explained and his face tensed.
“Maybe, but I know somewhere in that mud is… feelings for you,” he said.
You sucked in a breath and smiled. “I want you to make sure that you have enough time. Do not move on without healing what has been hurt,” you urged.
He paused before saying, “I know, but in truth you have healed so many of those parts of me already. Neytiri left a big hole in my heart that will always be there, but you make it hurt a little less each day,” he reached out a hand and grasped yours.
You smiled up at him, comforted by his words. You opened your mouth to reply, when a floating shape crossed between your faces. You paused, realizing what was happening.
A dainty Atokirina touched down on your intertwined hands, resting there as Jake’s wide eyes met yours. More floating seeds caught your attention, as Jake pulled Neteyam’s kuru off of the tree so you could turn and watch them all.
The clearing had filled with Atokirinas while your backs had been turned and the air was full of the glowing white light. More Atokirinas landed on you, sporadically dotting your skin from your head to your feet.
“I guess Eywa has some thoughts on the pairing,” Jake muttered, his eyes filled with wonder as he took in the scene. You turned your head slightly to see that he was also covered in the seeds of the sacred tree.
Neteyam reached for an Atokirina that had landed on your shoulder and they took off back into the air. The wind carried them out of the clearing and deeper into the forest.
“I have never seen a sign such as that,” you said in awe, watching as the last seed twisted out of your view.
“You’ll get used to it, that’s like my third miraculous sign this year,” he shrugged, swiveling a playful grin to you.
“Well we are not all Toruk Makto,” you teased.
His smile faltered, “I know you said you are still uncertain, but I think that was a sign, if anything, to tell you that I love you,” he declared, and his eyes sharpened as if he had to say the words. “I love your strength, your kindness. I love the way you care for Neteyam. No one has been there for me like you have, and you want nothing from me. You have helped me in so many ways and you’re so steady. I need you, babygirl. I can't do this without you.”
You stared back at him, stepping back as the shock registered. You had been requesting he take it slow and now he plunged into the deep end.
“You don't feel the same,” he misread your apprehension.
“No, that is not it. I just do not want you to get confused. I am not Neytiri, I don't have her strength or fearlessness. We are very different. Do not just love me because I am here,” you pleaded, not willing to have your heart crushed.
“Babygirl, no,” Jake scoffed, he cupped your face in his hands and made you look him in the eyes. “I love you very differently than I love Neytiri. She will always hold a place in my heart, but she's gone. You are here right now in front of me, but if you weren't, I'd search until I found you, like I do nearly every day. I always want you in my sight because you're beautiful and I miss you. I want to hear your thoughts and for you to tell me about your day. My favorite thing is to see you hold Neteyam while you sleep, or find that he is attached to you in that damn net. You are too deeply ingrained in my heart for me to know where you start and I end. I love you,” He repeated.
“Ma’ Jake…” you murmured, not knowing how to verbalize your feelings or even where to start.
“Just tell me you feel the same,” he begged and it hurt your soul to make him wait anymore. You wrapped the arm not holding Neteyam around his neck and dragged his lips to yours. His hands immediately found your waist as he sank into the kiss.
Warmth spread from his body to yours as you leaned your weight on him, your pulse raced as he pulled you in impossibly tight. You started to pull away, but his mouth chased yours. You felt his lips curving and you knew yours were doing the same.
A tiny hand grabbed a dread from Jake's hair, and tugged hard, his small body already having so much strength. Jake hissed as he recoiled from you and you opened your eyes to see Neteyam's fist clutched around Jake's hair still. You barked out a laugh as Neteyam giggled at his dad’s expression.
“Little cockblocker,”Jake muttered under his breath, pulling Neteyam’s fist away and placing a kiss on it.
“That is your son, ma’ Jake,” you chided him for the name calling, although you did not know what the human term meant, just that it could not be good from Jake’s tone.
“Well I certainly didn't teach him to do that,” Jake complained, taking Neteyam from your arms and balancing the baby at his waist. “That one must have been you.”
“I did no such thing,” you pouted as Jake draped his free arm around your shoulders and started leading you back towards the village to start the day.
“Maybe he just has his own natural talents,” Jake smiled and you followed, reaching out a hand to hold Neteyam’s. “Now that I know is true.”