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If they had been anyone's words other than Oyakata-sama's, and if they had been told by any mouth other than Lady Amane's, the news that she will not be partaking in Hashira training would've made Shinobu scream and maybe break a few things.
As both these things are the case, however, she only bows and smiles gently, before leaving the meeting to begin the walk back to her estate.
The distance between the Master's mansion and the Butterfly Estate is long, but Shinobu doesn't let herself run it. At the very most, she moves at a quick clip, breeze playing in the wide sleeves of her haori. One hand ends up in a fist around the hilt of her sword, pressing sweat into the cords.
It's fine. She's fine. Why should she train the corps members when so many fellow Hashira already are?
There is other work to be done. Important work. Work only she can do.
She attempts to form a mantra out of this on her way home, all the while feeling as though she's been slapped in the face with her own weakness. She cannot decapitate a demon, so her skills aren't worth passing on?
No. Shinobu bites down on her tongue. That's not true— and it's not what the Master intended by assigning her elsewhere.
By the time she reaches the grounds of her estate, her heart has slowed to its normal pace again and she's able to loosen her fists. Still, she goes to pray to Kanae, dropping her knees onto the old pillow with a huff. Help me calm down, sister. Help me be like you.
Kanao returns shortly after, and Shinobu is reminded that she cannot even take the time to train her own tsuguko. At least discussing plans for the death of a demon soothes the anger of having to work with one.
Tamayo arrives at night, some time after the setting of the sun, along with an assistant who looks like an extremely irritated teenage boy, but is no doubt much older. A Kasugai crow had preceded their arrival, so Shinobu is standing on the engawa outside her front door when they get there. She smiles and welcomes them into her home by lamplight, despite everything inside her revolting at the thought.
The demon woman is beautiful. Calm. Disciplined. She almost looks human, without slitted pupils or fangs or markings, but Shinobu isn't fooled.
She told the girls to stay away for the time being, dismissing them of their chores for a couple days, which leaves the halls quietly empty as Shinobu leads the demons towards her lab. Normally, she would be getting ready to sleep before the end of the hour, but she has absolutely no desire to leave these two to their own devices at the heart of her estate.
At least her lab is filled to the brim with wisteria in various states of suspension. She had removed any fresh blossoms in advance, but Shinobu knows she could still kill them, if she needed to.
She watches Tamayo set a medical bag onto a cleared table, her assistant following up with two neat wooden boxes, perhaps containing materials or compounds of her own.
The woman turns and bows shallowly to Shinobu. "Thank you for allowing us to use your laboratory."
Shinobu nods. Plucks another smile up out of her reserve. "We should start by comparing notes," she says, and Tamayo turns to undo the bronze clasp on her bag. One neat, pale hand reaches in to retrieve a bound sheaf of papers. As Tamayo steps close to Shinobu with the notes, her assistant radiates annoyance. He glares unabashedly at Shinobu, like she's the intruder here.
Tamayo glances over her shoulder and he schools his expression. Hmph.
Shinobu starts to look through the demon's notes. Her handwriting is very small, almost too tight to make out.
"One more thing," she says, "before we begin. I'd just like to know how many people you've killed."
The little assistant tenses up and looks like he might lunge at her, but Tamayo only averts her eyes. A beat of silence goes by, before she turns back. "I've killed many people," she says.
Shinobu doesn't let her smile fall. She supposes she already knew that. It's not like she was expecting a different answer, even if some silly and naive part of her is disappointed. From what Lady Amane told her when she received this assignment, Tamayo is over five hundred years old. For her to have not eaten a single person would be impossible.
"And while it doesn't undo what I've done, I regret every life I've taken."
Shinobu hums. "You're right. It doesn't undo anything."
Every muscle, every vein, every cell in her body is already full of her distilled wisteria poison, but a bit more can't hurt. Shinobu has been injecting herself, milligram by milligram, over the past year and a half, and now she sits in her lab preparing yet another dose.
The space that had once been hers and hers alone has been completely scattered with evidence of Tamayo and Yushiro's presence, down to the boarded-up windows. Shinobu has to rely on lamplight, even though it's the middle of the day.
She's so absorbed in her preparation that she doesn't even notice when Tamayo enters the room.
"This is a different process than your usual poisons," the demon observes, and Shinobu is at least able to smother her flinch at the unexpected voice.
The movement of her hands continues uninterrupted, a glass pipette drawing up the tincture she just brewed out of wisteria stamen. "It is," she says brightly. "Did you need something?" she asks, hoping the demon woman will leave when she realizes that this has nothing to do with their joint work against Kibutsuji.
She doesn't leave. She only watches quietly as Shinobu finishes mixing everything and loads her syringe.
In the corner of her eye, Tamayo's flower-patterned kimono appears. She's come closer. "You're planning to sacrifice yourself," Tamayo remarks. "To kill a demon from the inside."
No, she will not be what kills him. Shinobu pictures Kanao, her gentle, innocent eyes. The sword at her hip that looks so much like Kanae's. Shinobu turns to look at the demon standing at her side and is struck straight in the chest by the expression on her face.
It's not pity, or disapproval. It's grief.
To her surprise, Tamayo reaches out and rests a hand onto her shoulder. Shinobu can feel the chill of her palm emanating through the thin fabric of her haori.
"I'm sorry the world has led you here," she says. "I wish I could do something to change your path."
It shouldn't be comforting. Shinobu doesn't want people to feel bad for her. She wants people to watch her win against the monster who killed her sister. She wants to take down every single demon that she can before she's dead.
It shouldn't be comforting, being stood over and consoled like this, but in some way, it is.
Kanae would've loved this woman.
She would've been at Tamayo's side, mourning Shinobu's every choice, wishing to divert her course. But she's not here, and Shinobu will not turn from the path she's chosen.