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All was quiet and still in Thrawn’s office; it would have been understandable for an observer to think the space empty, if not for the presence of two red points of light burning like coals in the dark. Thrawn sat unmoving at his desk, exactly where he had been earlier when his encounter with Eli had gone so.. unexpectedly. He replayed the conversation over and over in his mind, steeped in lingering feelings of shock and fury at the response Eli had given to his completely reasonable proposal.
“You’re surprised. Of course you are. Who cares what someone else might want when Thrawn decides he wants somethin’?”
Shock and fury at the pure… audacity of his statements.
“You’re gonna listen to me for once.”
Clearly Eli had forgotten that before Thrawn, he had been nothing. It had taken years of patient work, correcting the expression of Eli’s many undesirable behaviors and coaxing forth more productive and desired traits to build the man up into someone that Thrawn felt was the best version of himself. Years to shape him into someone who now believed in the value of his own mind and abilities.
And now this.
Unacceptable, but not uncorrectable.
Thrawn had shaped Eli with his own hands; he knew every doubt and anxiety and weakness the man possessed, and how deep or close they lurked beneath the surface of Eli’s mind. He also knew how quickly something built could be broken down, when the right degree of pressure was applied to the right stress points.
If Eli needed to be reminded of that, and of his place and purpose in Thrawn’s design, so be it.
-----
There was a palpable tension already present on the bridge when Thrawn arrived the next day. Eli was working at his station with the sort of posture and focus that he only used when determined to complete a task or was functioning under extreme pressure. He clearly had not processed his anger from the prior day, and had instead allowed it to fester; something Thrawn was glad to see. He had learned early on that humans burned quickly when they were in the grip of strong emotions, and Eli burned hotter than most. His stress levels would continue to increase to the point where he could no longer bear them and the inevitable confrontation between them would trigger. Thrawn had spent long hours trying to temper the expression of that pattern, but there was only so much that could be done to break something so deeply ingrained into Eli’s psyche.
The rest of the crew could detect that something was off, but their collective attention kept drifting to Eli, not Thrawn himself. That was also convenient; the focus would make Eli’s stress build even faster. Eli closed in when he was under stress. The more time passed, the less likely it was that he would take someone into his confidence.
Thrawn settled down at his command chair after having made his typical rounds with the crew, sticking to routine, not giving any indication that he had noticed Eli’s state. He reached for the cup that had been left in its usual spot, waiting for him. He lifted it to his lips and took a tentative sip, then suppressed a smile.
Despite everything, Eli had still prepared his caf just how he liked it.
-----
Eli cancelled their regular sparring sessions and stopped spending any time socializing in Thrawn’s quarters, including coming to Thrawn’s bed at night. He had been somewhat aggressively polite when performing his duties when on shift, but aside from that there was nothing overtly off for the crew to pick up on. The group discomfort on the bridge had entirely faded by the third day, leaving Eli even more isolated. Thrawn had expected him that evening. The fact that it took two more days before Eli stormed back into his office was a pleasant surprise, in a way.
It was proof positive that Eli had learned to keep his head up and stick to his decisions and principles, even if he stood alone.
The pride Thrawn felt at that success was matched only by his anticipation of the coming conflict. Eli’s anger was hot, volatile, and could only lessen over time; it was impossible to keep at the same intensity over that long a period. Thrawn’s, on the other hand, was cold. Passionless. And his desire to express that anger had only grown in intensity as time passed and he had been forced to keep up the charade of cordial behavior and delay the behavioral correction that Eli required.
“Commander?” Thrawn prompted, his tone mild. Eli had initiated the exchange with his presence, but Thrawn had made sure that he would be the one to make the first move in the conversation. It allowed him control over the flow of the entire encounter, and judging by the slight narrowing of Eli’s eyes, he had realized the same thing slightly too late.
“You’ve had my transfer request for four days, and you haven’t signed it.” Eli’s tone was agitated but not quite accusatory; not looking for confirmation, but a stating fact. No pretending, then. No benefit of the doubt, even for the sake of formality. Thrawn wanted to smile.
“Indeed,” Thrawn responded. Then he waited. Either Eli would retreat, take time to consider the potential reasons for Thrawn’s lack of action and reach a reasonable conclusion.. or his stress and temper would get the better of him and he would press on.
“Why th’hell not?” He spat. “I thought I made my intent real clear. Sir.”
Eli caught himself from slipping into blatant insubordination, but it was of little consequence; he had already moved right where Thrawn wanted him.
“I simply thought to give you the courtesy to re-think your choice with a clearer mind, Commander,” Thrawn said smoothly, leaning back in his chair. “Given all the reasons that this course of action is deeply unwise at best, and likely of considerable personal risk.”
The anger in Eli’s eyes faded a touch, replaced first with confusion, then suspicion. “What d’you mean?”
Thrawn tilted his head slightly. “Even if one dismisses the not-insignificant fact that you were an ensign for so many years, you have served in one consistent role for the entirety of your career - as my aide. Others will draw a number of conclusions about your transfer based on that information alone.”
Eli’s brow furrowed, and it occurred to Thrawn that maybe he really hadn’t thought this through. How delightful.
“Officers do not simply get rid of aides they have kept for years,” Thrawn continued.”And it is known that no one tries to leave the Seventh unless they are being promoted to a more prestigious posting - which you will not be. It will be assumed that you are a spy that I have sent to gather intelligence on another officer or mission, and thus you will not be trusted. Or perhaps the assumption will be that something has happened - some grave mistake or behavioral error or lack of discretion on your part - that resulted in your transfer; you will be assumed to be incompetent and untrustworthy. The best you will be able to hope for is to be seen as simply having fallen out of favor with me, allowing others the opportunity to further their own career by taking advantage of you in hopes of gaining my notice and approval.”
Thrawn folded his hands, finally allowing a small, sharp smile to settle on his lips.
“And after ten years, what could you have done that was so bad that you would be dismissed? People will speculate, but a romantic relationship that has gone sour or that has simply run its course will be the one they gravitate toward, given all the rumors that have circulated over the years. I became bored of you, and threw you away.” That statement hit especially hard; Thrawn could see the hurt bloom in Eli’s eyes, his own doubts given voice. “Regardless of the conclusion, you will no longer have my power and influence to hide behind.” Thrawn lifted his hands, ticking points off his fingers as he spoke, his voice still unerringly mild. “Your skills and intelligence under doubt, your trustworthiness shaky at best, no one willing to befriend you, just in case… and everyone disgusted by your deviancy given the perfect opportunity to take that disgust out on you, directly. You will always be watching your back, always be aware of all the stares and whispers directed at you, the sudden silences when you enter a room.. can you go back to that, Eli?” Thrawn paused. “The best case scenario you can hope for is that you will be targeted by someone that hates me and wishes to use you against me, which will leave you wondering - do people like you because of who you are, or because of what they can get out of you?” A repressed flinch - that hit had been nearly as potent as the suggestion of romantic rejection. Thrawn pressed on. “No one will appreciate your worth, Eli. No one will know the real you, or care to spend the time learning. You will not be a person; you will be a means to an end. You did take all this into consideration, of course. …Didn't you?”
Eli’s eyes had dropped to the floor - but Thrawn had caught the haunted look in them, the way his brows had drawn together to make the familiar worry-line on his forehead appear. Rejection. Solitude. Lack of recognition. Being on the outside, with no hope of ever breaking in. Fear of being targeted. And these predictions, coming like surgical strikes from the person who had supported him the most, trusted him the most, valued him the most.
“I.. I can retire early. I don’t have to stay here,” Eli said hesitantly, significantly less confident, his anger replaced with growing anxiety.
Thrawn made a soft sound. “Hrm. Unlikely; that would mean breaking your contract, a dishonorable discharge, and denial of access to all the perks granted to former military. Not to mention those shipping contracts your parents were counting on using you for would surely fail to appear. And speaking of your parents…” Thrawn raised a brow, allowing a note of pity to seep into his voice. “Do you really think they would forgive you? Accept you back? After everything?”
“No,” Eli muttered, sinking into the chair on the far side of the desk, his face in his hands. His shoulders slumped, his body curling in on itself in an effort to protect himself. Thrawn felt a shiver of intense pleasure travel his spine at the sight of Eli brought low. He slowly stood and walked to Eli’s side, laying a steadying hand on the man’s shoulder.
“You will be forced to live on the streets or some slum, resigned to a less than legal existence. You can do it - I am sure of that - but you should know that attempting so will be a hard, hard life. Your mind and skills will not matter; your greatest asset will be your body and your face, and you will need to get as much use out of them as you can, for as long as you can.” Thrawn lifted his hand, trailing his fingers gently down Eli’s cheek - a reinforcing reminder that while he was young and attractive now, he would not be forever. Eli’s eyes widened; more he had not considered. But there was still resistance; a final nudge was necessary.
“You’ve put yourself in quite a difficult situation, Commander. If you hadn’t submitted the resignation through official channels, we could have made this just.. quietly go away. But now there’s a record in the system, and it will have been noticed by people that I expect you would rather had not seen it. If fortune is with you, the Emperor will not be aware yet, or he will not have had time to decide on how he wants to use you. If it is not..”
Thrawn didn’t have to elaborate; the look of fear in Eli’s eyes as they snapped up to meet his clearly said he fully understood what that might mean, and his desperation to avoid it. Eli knew things about Thrawn that no one else did, and the Emperor had made it clear that Thrawn’s lack of complete disclosure was starting to try his patience. Palpatine would begin with aggressive interrogation; there was no telling where it would end. “I could… I…”
Thrawn waited, his expression patient but internal excitement nearly at its peak. Eli knew the answer. He just had to say it. If Thrawn made the suggestion Eli would go back on the defense and push back against it every step; if Eli requested it, he would cooperate. Nevermind that it had been what triggered this whole thing. In Eli’s present state, Thrawn rather doubted he even fully remembered the initial conversation that had caused this whole thing.
“What if.. can I.. still go to the Ascendancy?” It was half a question, half a plea.
Thrawn looked at Eli, a conflicting mix of triumph and deep satisfaction threaded with mild regret surging through him. Triumph and satisfaction, because he had achieved his goal; regret, because he had forgotten how much he enjoyed seeing Eli like this: anxious, afraid, broken. Looking to him for guidance, to tell him what the best course would be. Raw material, ready to be shaped into what Thrawn wanted him to be. Building Eli back up would go more quickly the second time, but his pleasure was dulled by the knowledge that he was likely never to see him raw and broken like this again.
A pity.
Taking the time to sear the moment into his memory, Thrawn gave Eli’s shoulder a brief squeeze before turning back to his desk and reaching for a data pad.
“Come to my quarters tonight.” Thrawn said, pulling up the ship’s roster. “We can go over the logistics and finalize a plan of action. Together.”
Eli stood and mumbled a response before leaving, his head hanging low, but Thrawn had stopped paying attention. He was already deeply engrossed with studying the names of the new ensigns and lieutenants aboard the ship or, more ideally, individuals transferring in in the near future. After a few hours reviewing personnel files he had narrowed the list down to a single name: Enoch. He set the datapad aside, pleased; without Eli present, he would have plenty of idle time and space that needed filling.
And Thrawn did love a project.
