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He didn’t think twice about following Adriana out of the door.
For most of his life, Brayden Elliot had made the wrong decision. The bad, irresponsible, reckless and frowned-upon choice. Snapping at the press. Shattering a girl’s heart into pieces. Spitting venom in place of words because being defensive was all he was ever raised to be. It was better to attack first, than to be the one who was hurt.
But, with Adriana, it was different. She stared at him with those piercing blue eyes that could sink ships a thousand times, because they wouldn’t be able to resist the collision. She graced him with not only her beauty, but her grit and determination that fuelled wide smiles which he wanted to collect and display like artefacts in a museum. She challenged him, and pushed him to lengths that he hadn’t even realised he was capable of until he was skating with her.
And it wasn’t even about the skating. It was about her. He searched for her in every room, hands desperately stretching out to feel the sun of her gaze on his skin, and she made him believe they could take on the world together. He could taste victory already, sweet yet tangy like the first bite of a crisp apple, and it was all thanks to her. He couldn’t wait to bathe in the glory with her.
Which was why he had to find her.
Brayden wasn’t sure why she’d left the gala in the first place, when she’d been the one so insistent on how much they needed to sell their romance in order to gain sponsorships. Admittedly, he’d noticed her pulling away slightly, ever since they started making their way to Paris, but he reckoned that it was just nerves over World’s. She hadn’t skated in two years, so it was understandable that she was probably shitting bricks…not that she needed to be worried, of course. They had it in the bag. She was incredible, both off and on the ice.
He’d never quite understood the concept of falling in love, but Adriana explained it to him in a language he hadn’t even known he was able to speak before her. It was in her soft grazes of his arm, and the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled up at him. Petals of love unfurled in his chest whenever they kissed, a spring flower blooming despite the winter. He didn’t feel like he’d fallen—to skaters, a fall was something fatal. It sometimes marked the end of a career, or at least the end of a season. It wasn’t slow. It was fast, and it hurt.
Brayden hadn’t fallen in love with Adriana. He simply just…was. In love, that is. It had snuck up on him, covered his eyes, then peeled its fingers away until his perspective was altered and he was able to see Adriana in a new light. Then, it had grown. Like their chemistry, their routine, their scores, and their success. He’d been handed a trophy, a perfect partner, and he was determined to earn the medal too. Love wasn’t a fall, because it wasn’t fatal. It was hard work, and a slow build of confidence and trust in one another; a gradual rise through the ranks until the podium sang your name. And the podium was calling them: he could hear the future cheers in the distance like phantom wedding bells ringing out; applause roaring in the stands as exhilaration from skating flushed their cheeks and their fingers remained intertwined as they bowed and—
He froze.
There was a merry-go-round.
In the middle of the street.
Gilded horses ready and raring to race, their golden poles reaching up to the top of the carousel; reaching for victory.
But, they weren’t moving. They were fixed in place, unable to glide unless the ride was operating. Which it wasn’t.
Because, standing on it, was Adriana. With her hands woven into Freddie’s hair, and her lips moving against his.
His hands braced the small of her back, the smooth curve of her waist that Brayden had become so familiar with, and he was kissing her back with all the hunger of a starved man coming up for air. He couldn’t even work out where he finished, and she began because of how wrapped around each other they were, and he felt like he was going to—
Cry.
Throw up.
Scream.
Perhaps all of the above.
Brayden stepped back, his ankle turning in on itself like it was mimicking the way his stomach roiled with nausea at the sight. He stumbled, and a quick pain shot up his leg.
Brief, but painful. Fast and fatal, like a fall on the ice.
But, it wasn’t ice that he could hear crushing beneath his feet.
It was his heart, shattered into pieces on the ground.
It was all the hopes he had built, and the dreams he had dreamed with Adriana crashing down into rubble, until what they were was nothing but dust.
He’d been so good, lately, at not being the predator. At tucking his claws beneath his sleeves, because he didn’t like the scars they left anymore. Not when his touch could cause soft gasps and radiant smiles to slip out of Adriana, who had slowly but surely become the centre of his universe.
He’d bitten his tongue. He’d smiled. He’d worked hard to be worthy of her. He’d changed.
For her. Everything had been for her.
But, clearly, it had all been in vain. He would’ve been better off continuing to attack.
At least, then, he wouldn’t have to feel this hurt.
❤︎⛸❤︎
“I saw you.”
The words were out of his mouth before he could even think through whether confrontation was a good idea or not.
But, heartbreak had turned Brayden back into who he was before Adriana had charged onto the train and demanded that he be her partner. Before he’d longed to feel and see how she kissed him, and reacted to his touch, when they weren’t performing for the public. Before she’d decided to kiss Freddie, and fuck up his mind in the process.
“What?” She barely even looked at him, and that only enraged Brayden more.
“Kissing him last night. You know, when we decided to act like a couple, we said, “No seeing other people,” and there was no Freddie exception in the rules.” He could hear the venom in his tone, but he had to get this off his chest.
Especially when she wasn’t looking at him. Why wasn’t she looking at him? Why wasn’t she saying anything?
React to me, goddamnit. At least act like you feel something, so that I’m not the only one.
“I didn’t hook up with any of the twenty-six women at the party who were willing…” he continued, knowing that it wasn’t even about that. It was about her. Everything was about her, for him, and it made him want to cry.
But, he refused to cry in front of Adriana, so he relaxed into the embrace of rage that he was so accustomed to. He’d already let his guard down around her enough, but he would not let her see how much she’d broken him. How much she’d hurt him, when he was supposed to be the one that did the hurting. Just not with her, apparently.
She stared at him, almost uncaring, and he just couldn’t hold it in any longer:
“...Because you made me have all of these feelings.”
“I made you?” she questioned, disbelieving. He wanted to punch a wall.
“We had so many great times.” His voice was shaking, and he couldn’t even care because it was Adriana, and he still got lost in her eyes even when they weren’t looking for him in a crowd anymore. “And you make me better, Adriana.”
She looked down. “You made me better, too.”
The past tense hit like a knife to the gut, slicing away at the desperation bubbling there.
“But, we can’t keep up this act.” Another hit, rivulets of blood gushing.
“God, why not?” He longed to reach out and hold onto her, if that was what it took to make her his; to make her see what magic they had together, and what they could continue to build together. “What, are you engaged to Freddie now?” Jealousy cut through his attempt at humour, and he hated himself for it. What had she made him into?
“No, actually, he’s really mad at me.”
“Okay, then who cares? Freddie had his shot, and it didn’t work. What we have, it is real.”
He stared into her eyes, wishing that he could read her mind, and see that it wasn’t just him who could feel what they had. When Adriana had come to him with her idea of a fake-romance, his heart had jumped at the chance to even just pretend to be with her; to have a little piece of her to himself. And, as the weeks had gone by, and the lines between what was real and what was an act had blurred, Brayden had got his hopes up. He’d thought that perhaps, after how hard he had tried to change his ways for her, it had finally paid off. She’d kissed him at the record shop, when there was no one else around to play the romance card for, and he’d thought Yes. This is it. She feels the same way. Only for all of it to come crashing down, on a godforsaken carousel.
Well, if it was a carousel that she wanted, then he’d ride one until the end of time. He would do anything for her, and he couldn’t believe that she couldn’t see that. Maybe he just had to put it into words, and she’d understand they’d been speaking the same language all along.
“I know I am not the easiest guy to get along with. But, I will try every day for you,” Brayden said earnestly, hoping that he wasn’t coming across as too much. He needed her like oxygen, but he didn’t want to scare her away. “What if it wasn’t an act? Think about it.”
When she stayed silent, he stepped away. It was probably best to give her space, so that she could decide what she wanted without the pressure of him staring at her. So, as much as it hurt him to do so before hearing her answer, he walked away.
Hoping that, by putting his heart on the line, he hadn’t made yet another bad decision.
❤︎⛸❤︎
Brayden had dreamt about this moment for years. And, in the last few months, it had become a dream that was so tangible that he could practically envision the cold sensation of the gold medal pressing into his palm. Whilst his other hand was nothing but warm, in Adriana’s hold.
Getting ready in the same room as her, with their earlier conversation still echoing in the shadows, was torture, mainly because he wanted to prise her answer out from between those lips he always wanted to kiss. His brain was as noisy and disruptive as a thousand paparazzi cameras clicking and flashing, but the world hushed when Adriana kissed him.
He stood behind her at the mirror and, as she turned, he had to physically prevent himself from pulling her into him because he just craved that feeling all the time. Instead, though, she looked up at him with the determined clench of her jaw he had grown to love, and ambition shining in her blue eyes like winter sunshine dappling the Seine.
“We’re gonna do this.”
I love you, he thought.
“It’s ours,” he said, instead.
She grasped his arm, electricity fizzling through the latex of his costume, and he was distracted momentarily before he saw that her clasp pin wasn’t done up. Without even having to think about it, he reached out.
“Your…uh, your clasp pin.”
“Oh, thank you.”
Brayden let his hands linger. Selfishly, he wanted to see if she reacted to his touch in the way that she did most of the time. A soft gasp slipped out of her lips, her eyes fluttering closed, and he felt the pieces of his heart rejoin for a singular, glowing moment. Then, she opened her eyes. And he already knew she was going to break his heart again before the words even left her mouth:
“I’m sorry, Brayden. If there’s any chance with Freddie, I can’t let it go.”
Visions of Adriana and Freddie kissing on the carousel flashed before Brayden’s eyes, and his chest tightened all over again, a mixture of rage and sorrow twisting through his ribs. He’d bitten his tongue and he’d hidden his claws, all for Adriana, and it still wasn’t enough? She still picked Freddie over him, when all he had done recently had been for her. Well, enough was enough.
Brayden Elliot may have changed his ways for his girl, but he would be damned if he wouldn’t fight for her. The claws were coming out.
“You don’t love him.”
Adriana’s lips parted in shock, as if she’d just been expecting him to swallow such a callous remark and just get on with things, like she hadn’t just stepped all over his heart.
“You may think you do, but it is a massive mistake.” Desperation snarled in his throat, but he didn’t have the time to think about whether this was a bad decision or not.
He had to make it, because he had to fight for Adriana, before she slipped so far out of his grip that he wouldn’t be able to catch her.
They were the hottest couple on ice for a reason. The public had fallen in love with their love for a reason. It had been more than an act. It hadn’t just been fake. Brayden may have been reckless, but he wasn’t blind.
There was something between him and Adriana, and she could see and feel it, too. She just wanted the safe option; the cosy campfire over the raging bonfire; the man who represented her old life instead of the one who would write their future in the stars.
“Brayden, we are not doing this right now—”
“Why not now? What’s wrong with now?” He flung his arms wide.
“Because we are about to compete in World’s.” Her teeth were gritted. “What we’ve been working so hard for, what we’ve always wanted, what we have done all of this for.”
“You think I’ve done all of…this…for World’s?” He gestured to himself wildly, and her brow furrowed.
“All of what?” she asked.
“I have changed everything about myself. I’ve stomached the press, even though they take me right back to being a scared little boy, hiding in my house. I’ve held back insults, and resisted punches—”
“Oh, congratulations on being a decent human being—”
“—and I have worked on my patience to the point where I don’t fly into rages anymore at the tiniest things. I’ve smiled and simpered in a sickly sweet way that is nothing like how I usually operate, and you think I’ve done that just so that I can win World’s?” he questioned, genuinely despairing at how she couldn’t hear the way his heart beat solely to the rhythm of her laugh.
“Haven’t you?” Adriana frowned. “Hasn’t that always been your goal? Our goal?”
“Yes, of course I have. But, you’ve just said it. It’s been our goal. Our thing. The two of us. We’ve worked together, not just as a partnership but as a couple. I haven’t just been doing this for the title, Adriana. I’ve been doing it for you. For us. For everything we’ve been, and everything we’re going to be. We are incredible together. I know you see that. I know you feel it—the magic after we finish a routine and the crowds go wild? That’s how I feel, too, but it’s also how I feel when I make you smile. Or laugh. Applause rings out in my heart whenever you kiss me. So, no, Adriana. My goal has not only been to win World’s. It’s been to win World’s by your side.”
“That’s been my goal all along, too,” she said slowly. “But, Brayden, what we have—what we had isn’t real. What I have with Freddie, it’s real. It’s—”
“But it is, Adriana,” he cut her off. “It’s been real since the day we decided to skate together, before the ‘hottest-couple-on-and-off-ice’ thing even happened. I know you think that you want to be with Freddie. I know you think that you love him. But, I have spent every day of the last few months learning everything about you. I know exactly how the corners of your eyes crease when you smile; how you curl your fingers slightly whenever you reach out in a routine; how you snort when you laugh too hard, and how you always double-knot your laces. I know what your face looks like when you’re pretending to be in love with me, but I also know how your lips feel against mine when you moan into a kiss—”
“Brayden, I don’t—”
“—I know you miss your mom. You miss what your life was before she died, before this world of ice-skating felt so much harder without her by your side. You feel everything so deeply, Adriana, so I can understand why you won’t let Freddie go. But, you need to.”
“Why?” She moved closer to him, and her eyes were shining with tears. “Why should I let him go, when he’s all I’ve ever wanted?”
Brayden reached out, and gently tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. He shrugged one shoulder, hoping that his small smile didn’t convey how much his heart was racing. “Because he doesn’t make you better. I make you better, in the same way that you make me better; that you’ve made me change. I’m your future. You’re all I want.”
“Not a World’s championship?” Her voice trembled on the joke.
“Well, that would be nice as well,” he chuckled, and she smiled. “I love you, Adriana Russo. And I’m not saying it because I expect you to say it back. I just had to tell you.”
Adriana’s smile widened, and she reached up to brush his hair out of his eyes. He waited in anticipation for what she was about to say but, just as she opened her mouth, the door opened, too, and Camille walked in. They sprung apart, but Camille never missed a trick.
“Not interrupting, am I?” The look on her face could only be described as smug.
“Of course not,” Adriana said quickly. Brayden could only smirk.
They listened to Camille’s fighting talk with eagerness, but he couldn’t stop staring at her, hope rising in his chest like a hot air-balloon. He could only pray that Adriana wouldn’t bring it down to the ground again. But, they didn’t have time for any more back-and-forth.
It was time to win World’s.
❤︎⛸❤︎
Adriana watched Freddie and Riley’s performance with a thoughtful, almost pining look on her face, and Brayden started to hear drumbeats of doom echoing in his ears. Maybe his confession hadn’t been enough. Maybe she still fancied herself in love with Freddie. Worse, maybe she was actually in love with Freddie, and he was the fanciful fool that had just read into things too much.
But, then, she turned around, and Brayden’s breath caught in his chest.
“You were right,” she said quietly, amongst the thrum of music playing.
“I was?” He hoped that his giddiness didn’t make him sound any less cool. Then again, this was Adriana. He’d stopped thinking too much about how he acted when he was around her. “Well, I’ll have to write that one down. It’s rare that you acknowledge my greatness.”
“Oh, shut up.” She smacked his chest, but it was light. “I won’t ever say it again, but you were. I’m…” she paused, then took a breath. “I’m not in love with Freddie. I definitely used to be. I thought I’d never get over him. But, I think I’ve been kidding myself over the past few months. I think I’ve wanted to love him because he was safe and reliable, and he didn’t make my head spin with a simple smile—”
“I make your head spin?” He grinned.
“Let me finish,” she said sternly.
“Always.” He winked, and she blushed slightly, but was not deterred:
“But, he’s not you. I mean, I couldn’t ever see him spewing all that romantic stuff you just did. He’s mostly spent the last few weeks berating and punishing me for—” she trailed off, frowning. “Never mind. My point is that…I’ve thought about it. And I think I want to see what happens if this isn’t an act. Because it hasn’t felt like an act sometimes—scrap that, most of the time. I’ve felt…so much for you, and I think I’ve just pushed it down. Made bad decisions. And I’m sorry for that, I truly am. I never wanted to hurt you. But, you just—you scare me, Brayden. You’re an unpredictable storm, and you make reckless decisions, and it tips me off balance. But, I think I like that. I like the rush. And love’s supposed to be a little scary sometimes, isn’t it?”
“You mean…” He couldn’t breathe. Freddie and Riley were taking their bows. It was nearly time, but none of that mattered when Adriana Russo was staring into his eyes with a beautiful smile that surpassed any feeling of triumph on a podium.
“I love you too, Brayden Elliot. For real.”
And then she was surging forward and kissing him, capturing the victory in his mouth as the taste of glory exploded between their lips, before they’d even stepped out onto the ice. Brayden pulled her flush against him, uncaring of who could see them because, realistically, they were all still watching Freddie and Riley. This kiss wasn’t for the crowds, who would eat up the hottest couple on ice making out. It was for them, the hottest couple off the ice.
“Our names are being called,” Adriana gasped against his lips, and she was right.
“I don’t care.” He dove back in, closing his eyes and savouring the way her giggles reverberated through the kiss. She dug her fingers into his shoulder, letting him lift her off the ground a little.
“Brayden…”
“Okay, okay.” He tugged himself away reluctantly, and didn’t even care when his eyes found Freddie’s seething glare. How could he ever care about anything or anyone else ever again, when Adriana was staring up at him like he’d personally hung the stars in the sky? When it didn’t matter if he’d made bad decisions, because Adriana was the best decision he’d ever made, and she loved him back?
“Let’s go and win World’s,” she whispered, squeezing his hand before skating onto the ice.
He waited until she’d taken her position before gliding on after her, acknowledging the crowds with a small smile. Then, he bent down to murmur in her ear:
“Oh, I’ve already won the world, my love.”