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“There’s a ghost here—actually, multiple of them.”
Sakura would rather take a punch straight to the gut than admitting that he was actually scared of ghosts or any other supernatural being. That being said, even as much of a scaredy-cat as he was, Sakura was perfectly aware that his vice captain was merely messing with him.
“Look there!” Suo pointed his finger at a shadowed corner in Sakura’s bedroom. “There is definitely something there. I can sense a bad energy coming from that direction.”
“Uh’huh…”
It’s the third time Suo had said something mildly vague that day. Tsugeura looked scared but mildly intrigued. Nirei looked like he’s five-seconds away from fleeing the building, while Kiryu seemed more amused than anything.
Sakura had been playing along for two hours, but he’s not exactly the most patient guy on the planet, and the stupid supernatural bullshit his vice captain had been blabbering about for hours was definitely grating on his thin patience.
“Suo,” Sakura gritted out, “Just shut up, will you?”
To his surprise, Suo did actually shut up. But he didn’t make any move to get up from the comfortable spot on Sakura’s futon either. Even though their other friends already left, Suo just stayed.
“Ugh, look, I don’t care if you wanna play with the ghosts, or monsters, or whatever. But when you’re ready to leave, take my umbrella with you. It’s dark outside. Probably gonna start raining soon.”
“Okay.”
Suo slowly sipped his tea both hands, still not budging from his spot. The tea was served an hour before. It had gone cold. His expression was passive as he continued to follow Sakura’s movement with his gaze—cryptic as ever.
Finally, after a couple minutes of awkward silence of Sakura scrolling on his empty phone and Suo kissing his teacup, as expected, Sakura’s patience snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?!”
Suo stared, genuine confusion in his gaze. “I didn’t do anything?”
“No, I mean, it’s not—”
A groan was ripped out of Sakura’s drying throat. He’d always been frustrated at his own lack of eloquence when it came to confrontations.
“Listen, I’ve known you for two years, and I can actually tell when you spittin’ out lies right in front my face!” Sakura massaged his temple, headache starting to get him. “I don’t know if you think I’m too stupid or what, but I know there ain’t no ghost in this place, alright?! So, whatever it is weighing in your chest, just spit it out now!”
Suo blinked. “Oh.”
And yes, Suo Hayato did get on his nerves from time to time. It wasn’t exactly new to Sakura. This time, though, that one softly uttered “oh” made him almost punch a hole in the wall.
“Fine.” Sakura plopped on the floor, resigned to his fate. “Let me make this easier for you. This…this thing, it’s about my feelings, right?”
There it was. The cat was finally out of the bag.
Sakura held his breath and waited, and waited, but Suo kept his silence while not breaking his steady gaze. Forcibly pushing down the emotions bubbling in his gut, Sakura gnawed on his cracked lip and tried again.
“Fine, shit, fine! I get it. I get it, okay? I mean, I don’t know how you found out about it, but whatever. I just…” Sakura inhaled deeply, chest heaving, before meeting Suo’s lone eye with his own determined stare. “I’m not some fragile shit. If you gonna reject me, go ahead! I can take it!”
After a deliberate pause, Sakura averted his eyes and added again in a quieter voice, “And if you’re disgusted, or… I don’t know, wanna transfer class or something, I get it. Fine. I-I will… I’ll get out of your sight or whatever!”
Suo didn’t immediately answer. But reached out and put his palm gingerly over Sakura’s trembling fist.
“I don’t have any problem with your sexuality, Sakura-kun,” Suo said carefully, “I’m just trying to figure out my own.”
The perplexity of those words hit Sakura immediately. His head snapped up as he met Suo’s gaze once again with bewilderment.
“The fuck you mean—”
“I am not toying with your feelings,” Suo interrupted firmly. He tightened his hold, run his thumb gently over the scars decorating Sakura’s pale knuckles. His other hand reached up to brush a wild strand of dark hair and tucked it behind Sakura’s reddened ear. “I’m not that much of a jerk, you see.”
It was said with a playful tone, but this time the joke didn’t land the way it would any other day. Sakura pressed his lip into a thin line, trying to keep his composure and ignore the loud heartbeat that echoed inside his chest.
“I-I don’t understand,” Sakura uttered shakily. “What kind of game are you playing? I don’t get it, Suo! I don’t—”
“There’s no game.” Suo squeezed harder and leaned forward, so close that he gave Sakura no option to escape his fierce gaze. “Give me time. I promise, I’m serious. But give me time.”
“Time for what?” Sakura swallowed thickly. “Are you just, like, making me a guinea pig to test if you’re really into dudes? Is that it?!”
“What? No!”
The genuine indignation in Suo’s voice somehow made Sakura relieved. But his fear and confusion still hung thickly in the air.
“I…” Suo paused and wet his lip nervously. It was probably the first time Sakura ever seen his level-headed vice captain getting so nervous. “Sakura-kun I…I think I’m already falling for you.”
Sakura hesitated. “For real?”
“Yeah.”
Suo chuckled lightly. A little attempt to disperse the tension in the air. Sakura thought it was adorable whenever Suo curled his lips like that, but it was not a good timing to mention it at all.
“Sakura-kun, you know…”
Suo fiddled with his fingers, acting coy all of sudden. But his gaze was earnest, his smile genuine. Sakura had always thought that Suo was cute but fuck, right then and there he was convinced that Suo had been self-aware all along and used it to manipulate his heart.
“I…” Suo inhaled quietly and tried again, “I mean, you, you are the first for me.”
“The first what?”
“Someone who ever makes me feel…something.”
Sakura stared wordlessly. The puzzle in his head started to make sense as the pieces clicked in his brain.
“You’re telling me that you never had a crush before?”
“Never.”
“Not even a celebrity crush? Someone cute you see on TV? Some random kid you played with in kindergarten? Or anyone in middle school?”
“Nope. Never.” Suo shrugged. “Honestly, I used to think that romance might not be for me. But then I started feeling your eyes, like, everywhere. You keep staring at me, buying me drinks, treating me a little different than the rest—in a special way. Eventually everything just clicked for me.”
“Fuck,” Sakura muttered, suddenly finding the floor to be a very interesting object to stare at.
Suo chuckled. “You thought you were slick, huh?”
“I know I’m bad at this shit.” Sakura glared sheepishly, feeling the warm blush reaching all the way to his neck.
“But, you know, recently I heard the rumors.”
“Those stupid rumors,” Sakura grumbled.
He knew exactly which rumors Suo had been hearing. A couple friends suggested that he poured his heart in front of everyone, but no one warned him that rumors traveled a wildfire in that small town.
“No, I don’t mind it at all,” Suo quickly said after Sakura’s expression visibly turned sour. “In fact, it was quite helpful,” Suo added.
“Helpful?”
“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t start imagining about the possibility of actually dating you before I heard those rumors.”
“W-Wait! Dating?!”
“Well, I’m sorry I just jump to conclusions. But since it’s clear that you have these…feelings for me, I assume you’d like to date me?”
“L-Like boyfriends?”
“Yes…?” Suo’s smile faltered. “Unless you don’t want to…?”
“No, shit, I mean— I just, ugh, I never—” Sakura wriggled his fingers, suddenly getting restless when the words kept failing him. He huffed loudly and tried again. “I, I actually never imagined you’d want to date me.”
“Why?”
“Because, well, dating is kinda serious, right? Are you sure you really want to have that kinda relationship with me?”
Suo blinked, genuine confusion written all over his face. “Sakura-kun, you are really popular with girls. Don’t you know that?”
“Huh?”
“You’re sweet. You’re pretty cute with pretty eyes and a handsome face. And you can throw a killer punch. You’re a whole package of ‘boyfriend material.’ Trust me. There are always girls who secretly gawk at you whenever we do patrol. And some boys too, maybe.”
The blush on Sakura’s cheeks reached a new shade of red. The sight made Suo giggle a bit.
“Shut up! You’re just making things up!”
“Oh, you don’t believe me? Should I record some evidence next time?”
“You— Y-You’re way cuter and I don’t see girls on streets gawking at you!”
This time, Suo’s face visibly lit up. His smile stretched into a giddy one. “Cute? So, you think I’m cute?”
“Don’t let it get to your head,” Sakura grumbled, not even bothering to deny the accusation.
Though it looked like Suo wasn’t nearly done teasing his captain. He leaned a bit more, cupping Sakura’s reddened face between his palm to force their eyes to meet.
“So, that’s why you keep staring at me, huh? You think I’m cute?”
“J-Just…shut up!”
It happened in a blink of an eye.
One second, Sakura was trying to wriggle his way out of Suo’s tight hold. The next thing he knew, his breath was already stolen away by the smirking pretty boy in front of him.
Their lips met.
“You… D-Did you just…”
Sakura’s jaw dropped. His fingers gingerly touched his lips in disbelief.
“I told you,” Suo murmured softly, “I think I’m falling for you, Sakura Haruka.”
Just like in a fight, Sakura ignored the noisy part of his brain. He acted solely on instinct—hands gripping Suo’s shoulders, leaning on gravity until they’re both sprawled on the futon, before diving down and took what he had fantasized for months.
Their second kiss was still messy. But it did feel good.
Much like a fish that’s desperate for water, Sakura latched onto Suo’s mouth again and again. He discovered that day Suo Hayato tasted like sweetened tea. Attempting to carve that little information into his memory, sadly, was not an easy task. His emotion was a wreck. His chest was a battleground of marching heartbeats.
Sakura recognized the cold fear settling in deep in his gut. There were too many possibilities swirling around in his mind. Each one got worse than the other.
He didn’t know what Suo wanted. He didn’t know which direction their relationship would take off to. He didn’t know whether the momentum they had inside that room would continue—if he’d get to kiss Suo Hayato again another time, or was it going to be his one and only chance.
His palms were getting sweaty, clammy, shaking like a fragile glass about to shatter—
“Sakura-kun.”
That honeyed voice cut through his anxiety like a sharp knife.
Sakura blinked owlishly. “Huh?”
“Slow down,” Suo murmured. And just like that, Sakura was suddenly aware of the teeth marks decorating Suo’s lower lip.
Sakura squeaked, “S-Sorry!”
He quickly scrambled away, but only to be halted by a firm hand cupping his nape.
“Hey,” Suo said, quiet and fond, gaze not leaving Sakura’s wide eyes as he move to sit up. “Tomorrow, are you free?”
“Um, yeah, I think?”
“How about a date? I know a nice cafe that serves some tasty pastries in Hiragahara.”
Warmth bloomed inside Sakura, spreading weird fluttery feelings down to his fingertips. His cheeks felt warm again.
“Suo… You’re really being serious, right…?”
Sakura hated how vulnerable his voice sounded in his own ears. But he needed that confirmation. He had to hear it.
Suo’s smile softened. “Of course I do.” Chuckling a little, he added, “And I did like the kiss. I just didn’t expect my first kiss—with you, out of all people—would be that intense.”
“…Sorry.”
“Gosh, stop apologizing! Sakura-kun, this isn’t like you!”
The amused smile on Suo’s face only flustered Sakura even more. Sakura closed his eyes, feeling the heat burning on his face, so he let Suo push him until his back hit the futon. When his eyelids fluttered open, he’s met with the prettiest red eye with all the fondness in the world swirling inside them.
Their lips met again. Their third kiss.
Suo then pulled away slightly. His face scrunched up in that adorable way that Sakura often notice when his vice captain was mulling over an ambush strategy.
“What you’re thinking? Don’t say you’re regretting this already.”
“Haha, no, I promise.” Suo took a deep breath, and when he exhaled it sounded heavenly. “You know, I just told you that I’m falling for you, but…”
“But?”
“…I think my heart might actually take a free fall and land on you. For real.”
A surge of giddiness washed over Sakura in a way that he’d never felt before. He squeezed Suo’s waist and pushed forward, reversing their position without breaking their locked gaze.
“Say that again!” Sakura ordered weakly.
Suo smirked. “Kiss me again, then.”
They did, and then they did it again, and again. Until their necks hurt, their hairs a mess, and their limbs felt heavy.
That night, Sakura fell asleep next to another body for the first time ever. The body warmth shared between them lulled him to the dreamland, shooed away his second-thoughts about clutching another boy’s shirt in his sleep.
The next day, when Nirei asked them about the ghosts in Sakura’s place, Suo had to stifle his laughter.
“I don’t know but, uh, I think we kind of scared the ghosts.”
“What did you guys do?! Some kind of ritual?!”
“We were, um, being pretty loud…?”
Sakura’s face couldn’t possibly get any redder. He quickly dragged his vice captain away from the poor clueless Nirei.
“Are you crazy?! You can’t just go around and tell people that!”
“Why?”
“Because… Because…”
They’re no longer counting the kisses. Suo stole the kiss right out of an unassuming stammering Sakura, giggling while doing so. Sakura thought he could get used to it.
No ghost could ruin what he felt then.