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The cat cakes, by design, were intelligent creatures. This intelligence was not just limited to thinking power. Emotionally, too, they were just as complex, with a deep seated desire for companionship, stemming from their creator’s abandonment. As such, they were the ideal little menaces to gift to Aventurine, who, despite insisting otherwise, sought desperately to be needed.
It worked as planned. Though he had no intent to get attached to the feline pastries and assumed Ratio would eventually rehome them, he ended up becoming quite endeared to them. He spoiled them—buying them the most expensive toys, beds, and food. He doted on them, and even confided in them. And therein was another perk to their presence.
Either Aventurine had not considered the possibility, or simply didn’t care since they seemed happy enough, but the catcakes’ intelligence gave them the gift of language. And Ratio was fluent in it.
It started innocently enough, with Ratio meowing off a “How are you settling in?” while Aventurine had excused himself to the bathroom.
“Good!” Plinko piped up, bouncing onto Ratio’s lap.
He kneaded the catcake’s gelatinous shell, which earned him a pleased purr. “He’s treating you well?” Not that Ratio doubted Aventurine’s abilities as a caretaker, he just slightly doubted Aventurine’s abilities as a caretaker.
“Uh-huh! He gives us lots of pets!” Pachinko exclaimed, hopping once, onto the couch, then twice, directly atop his brother. Plinko seemed not to mind this, as the three had a habit of stacking on top of one another.
“He lets us watch TV when he’s gone!” the last one, Poker, added.
~
“What?”
“That’s their names.”
“Did you just name them the first words you thought of?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I? It’s only going to be another week or two until you rehome them.”
“What did I say that gave you that impression?”
“What? You literally said, and I quote: you were ‘going to find someone who can properly take care of them.’”
“And I did.”
“You’ve… got to be kidding me, Ratio.”
“I’m not.”
“No, of course you’re not. Goddess, I’m not fit to be a father.”
“They’re snacks, Aventurine.”
“One: No, they aren’t. And two: they still require way too much time and attention.”
“I guess you’ll have to provide them with that, then.”
“...You’re evil, doc.”
~
“He allows you to watch television?”
Sensing he may have said something wrong, Poker pleaded innocence by blinking slowly, then meowing cutely.
“Just a little bit,” Pachinko said, in Aventurine’s defense.
Ratio sighed. “At least he didn’t provide you with a tablet.”
“A what?” Plinko asked.
“It’s… similar to a television, but smaller.”
“Oh! Like the game square!” Poker exclaimed.
“Like the wha—“
“Finally losing it?” Aventurine interrupted, finally reappearing. It was a fair question, as Ratio was confrontationally meowing at his pets in the middle of the living room.
“No. Just having a conversation,” Ratio answered, honestly.
“Uh huh, whatever you say. Are you sure you’re not just going senile on me?”
“Senile? I’m hardly a few years—“ Ratio paused, then furrowed his brows. “How old are you, again?”
“Ratio!” Aventurine gasped, feigning offense. “You know it’s rude to ask a lady that question.”
“You’re not a—ugh. This is giving me a migraine.” The scholar pinched his nose, then sighed. “I think I’ll take this opportunity to leave, then,” he announced, the annoyance in his voice sounding only partly genuine.
“Already? Well, I guess in your old age you like to get to bed early.”
“You’re insufferable.”
-
It continued like this for a while with mundane yet pleasant banter between Ratio and the catcakes. It did give Ratio a bit of insight on Aventurine’s… cuter side, but that was it. Perhaps a little embarrassing for the gambler, but nothing Ratio felt he shouldn’t know. That was, until, the naive and innocent Plinko made an unsolicited comment.
“Daddy was weird last night.”
“Oh?” Ratio implored, intrigued.
“Yeah. Came in grumpy. Closed the door hard. Stomped around. Mumbling.”
“...What did he say?” the scholar asked, feeling that he may be venturing into dangerous territory, but doing so anyway.
“Stoopid Rasho!” Plinko exclaimed, doing his best to repeat Aventurine’s words.
Ratio flinched, not expecting the catcake’s ability to speak in common, nor anticipating the volume at which he would do this.
“Huh.”
Plinko was quiet for a second, then cocked his head. “Aren’t you Rasho?”
“I—“
“Talking to yourself again?” Aventurine asked, once again interrupting at a crucial point in Ratio’s conversation.
“No. I’m talking to him.”
“Her.”
“What?”
“Plinko’s a she.”
“…The catcakes have genitalia?”
“What? No.” Aventurine winced, as if disgusted by the implication.
“Then how could you possibly know that?”
“She told me.”
“She told you?”
“Yeah. I referred to her as a boy when I was talking to her and she loudly yelled ‘she!’”
“Fascinating,” Ratio mumbled.
So Aventurine knew the catcakes were capable of speaking and understanding their language to some degree, but still didn’t seem to believe that Ratio was genuinely talking to them? Or, maybe Aventurine hasn’t considered that the catcakes could have a language of their own, separate from the IPC Common language Ratio and Aventurine spoke. And… that aside, it genuinely was quite interesting that the catcakes understood the concept of gender. Did he have to ask Poker and Pachinko for their preferred pronouns next time?
“Alright, enough of that, grandpa.”
“I’m not—you never answered me when I—“
“It’s getting awfully late, aren’t you going to stay the night?” Aventurine asked, a sly, playful smile on his lips.
“Alright.”
“What.” Aventurine’s confident, flirtatious mask immediately shattered. Evidently, he had not been expecting that answer.
“Why the surprise? I’ve done so before.”
“That was…” Different. It need not be said. Ratio had slept over in Aventurine’s apartment a dozen times, but the circumstances were different. There was no deathly mission they had just returned from, no one was violently ill, and there was no meeting nearby that they both needed to attend in the morning. There was an implication here, that neither Ratio or Aventurine were ignorant to, in accepting the invitation. Being asked to stay the night, when there was no reason other than to stay together longer…
Aventurine coughed. “Right. Let me get some sheets on the bed in the guest room.”
“I can help—“
“Ah, no, no. What kind of host would I be if I left my poor elderly guest to fend for himself?” Aventurine shook his head, his pompous persona returning.
Ratio sighed, accepting his defeat. It was easier to give up now, as the two could easily argue over this matter for another hour.
Aventurine hummed, content in his victory, and exited the living room.
“Other dad! Sleepover!” Poker exclaimed, bouncing in place.
Ratio ignored the catcake’s enthusiastic words and the slight flutter in his chest they caused.
The other catcakes also began to bounce, this being their version of a typical feline’s “zoomies”. It was… quite endearing.
“Alright you’re all—oh shit!” Aventurine exclaimed, an unfortunately directed Pachinko zoomie colliding directly into Aventurine’s chest. He stumbled, while Pachinko ricocheted off of him and landed safely on the ground.
Aventurine laughed, a quiet, sweet laugh. “Well I wasn’t expecting that. Little guys must really like you, huh?”
Aeons, what a… delicate expression. It seemed the catcakes truly were bringing out another side of Aventurine that Ratio had seldom seen before. It was a good look on him.
“—Doc?”
“Hm?” Ratio questioned, staring a little too closely at Aventurine’s face to actually hear whatever words he had said.
“Man, you’ve really been out of it lately,” Aventurine snickered. “I said the bed’s ready, if you wanted to lay down.”
“Oh, yes, thank you. I’ll be seeing you in the morning, then, given you don’t sleep in until noon.”
“I think you’re the one more likely to sleep in on a day off, Ratio,” Aventurine said, still with that same smile on his face.
“You… wouldn’t be wrong in that assumption,” Ratio admitted. Sure, waking up earlier was healthier than sleeping in until the sun was setting, but if his “beauty sleep” was allowed, he would much rather wake at 9AM than 6AM. Aventurine, on the other hand, had the tendency to go to sleep ridiculously late and wake up absurdly early, given he wasn’t wasted or had nearly bled out hours before. Perhaps this was why (or one of many reasons why) he always seemed exhausted underneath his bright, peppy demeanor.
Aventurine beamed. “I’m never wrong.”
“You most certainly are. Often.”
The blonde chuckled. “Goodnight, Ratio.”
“Goodnight.”
As they parted, the cat cakes bounced after Ratio, towards the guest room.
“Traitors!” Aventurine gasped, scandalized, before letting out another laugh.
The trio of catcakes paused for half a second, meowed a quick apology, then continued to follow “other dad.”
The pastries did not allow him rest, once he was situated in bed. Much like children that have had too much candy, they ran around the room in circles, mewing happily, and occasionally pounced on each other.
When they did finally settle, their previous conversation wormed its way into Ratio’s brain. He should’ve let their words be random outbursts, absurd exclamations of children that carried no meaning, but… his curiosity was piqued.
“What was it you had started to say, earlier?” he asked them.
Plinko cocked her head. “Say what?” she returned.
Ah, right. Though they were highly intelligent life forms, they were, at their core, only cats. Kitten-like in nature, too, so hardly beings you could expect to keep a train of thought for that long.
“You said your father referred to me as stupid.”
“Oh! Stoopid Rasho!” Plinko exclaimed, much louder than necessary. Ratio sincerely hoped Aventurine had promptly gone to bed after their parting.
“Yes, that. Quietly.”
“Okay!”
~
“Stupid doctor. Stupid Ratio,” he mumbled to himself, sinking down further, against the wall. “Does he not realize I’m coming onto him?”
He sighed.
“Of course he doesn’t. I’m just some whorish flirt that’s like that to everyone. Why would he see me any differently?”
The catcakes bumbled awkwardly around him, unsure how to cheer him. Pachinko eventually settled in his lap, and Aventurine pet him mindlessly.
“Why should I expect anything else? I’m just some disposable slut, no one to be taken seriously.
“He only cares when I’m dying, doesn’t he?”
~
Ratio wanted to interrupt Plinko several times, as though Aventurine himself was talking. He wanted to argue. To pull him out of that pointless, hopeless spiral he was falling into.
What was he saying? Ratio only cared for Aventurine when he was dying? Hadn’t Ratio expressed his concern again and again?
…Or maybe he had merely sounded like a teacher trying to lecture him. Ratio thought he made it obvious that everything he said was out of genuine care, but…
A pit formed in his stomach. Was that really all he thought of Ratio? That he was some entirely impassive slab of stone that only fractured at the sight of a mangled, bloodied, Aventurine?
Maybe he was no better. He could hardly even consider the possibility that Aventurine’s attempts at wooing him were genuine. That they weren’t just a tease from a man who survived by flaunting his looks, charming others with his charisma, disarming them and then crushing them under his feet when they underestimated him. Perhaps he simply hadn’t wanted to. He had seen that glint in Aventurine’s eyes. A small spark of brightness that was never reflected when he spoke with anyone else. He’d heard that gentle laugh, light and airy, but also full so full of life, and thought nothing of it. He didn’t want to think he was special to Aventurine. Didn’t want to hope that he was anything to him other than a source of amusement. There was a deep level of trust between them, but… It was hard to describe. Like their masks were deeply intertwined, but underneath, there was only a faint tug.
Ratio stared up at the ceiling, wordlessly. He was angry, both at Aventurine and himself. How was it possible that they both spent so much time together but barely understood each other at all? And if they didn’t even know one another, then their feelings towards each other couldn’t possibly be…
He didn’t fall asleep until late in the night.
-
The next time they met, it was difficult for Ratio to act the same. He was never great at lying, so to act like he hadn’t just had some great revelation about their relationship was nearly impossible.
So he was curt. More so than usual. Aventhrine undoubtedly noticed this, raising an eyebrow at his unusually short answers, even towards topics he usually loved to discuss. Perhaps he simply assumed Ratio had a bad day, and ignored it.
The fact that they were at his apartment was even worse. Though he loved them dearly, he dreaded the thought of the catcakes spilling another secret, something deeply personal that Ratio had no business hearing from anyone other than Aventurine.
His fears were realized once again, when Aventurine suddenly grew ill while they were watching a movie, and had to dash to the bathroom.
Ratio did not try to talk to the catcakes. Despite their occasional questions and attempts at getting his attention, Ratio ignored them. It wasn’t kind to them, obviously, but he had no other choice.
But this was all for naught, because they seemed to realize there was a better way of getting his attention.
Ratio saw the gears turning in Poker’s head, and immediately tried to interrupt him before he could start.
“How are you—“
“Wut am eye dooing?”
Fuck.
~
“What am I even doing, anymore?” Aventurine let out a deranged laugh. “What’s the fucking point?”
He threaded his fingers through the curls of his hair and tugged. “How am I supposed to keep this up, when everything I do is spitting on their graves?”
“Do I think I’m going to somehow undo what happened? Like there’s any way I can redeem myself?”
“No. I’m just the same as them. Every act I commit is a sin.”
“Maybe I should have died with them. That way I couldn’t continue to disappoint them. To taint whatever’s left of their legacy.”
His voice fell to a whisper.
“I should have died with them. I should be with them.”
“…I should be dead.”
~
“What the fuck is this?”
Ratio froze in place. Though their pronunciation was rough, there’s no doubt that if Aventurine had been standing there then he definitely heard…
“Some kind of joke?”
“Aventurine—“ Ratio jumped to defend himself.
“Is this what you’ve been doing every time you’ve been over?”
Ratio tried to get a word in, but despite his usual bravado, his throat just closed at every attempt.
“Gossiping? Did you plant them here with the intention to spy on me?” He was infuriated.
“No of course—“
“Did someone put you up to this? Or is it just a sick curiosity of yours to satisfy? Is that what I am to you? Some kind of fucked up puzzle to crack apart?
“What else did you hear? How I scream and throw shit at the walls when my plans are rejected, and I get sent on some bullshit mission to help the IPC colonize some completely untouched planet?
“Or maybe how I tear my hair out from stress? Or how I stay up writing reports instead of sleeping so I’m not plagued by nightmares?
“Or maybe even how I moan your name behind closed doors?”
Ratio had not heard that. He would not think about the implications of that.
Each accusation burned a hole in him, as he was assaulted with even more information he was not supposed to know. This time as a punishment. A way of hurting him for pressing far deeper than he ever should have.
“What? Not talking all of a sudden? Don’t you love to talk? Aren’t you going to try to come up with some semblance of an excuse? Or are you just waiting for me to ‘tire myself out’ like I’m some kind of child throwing a tantrum?”
Ratio… was doing that, in a way, but such phrasing severely undermined the dire nature of this argument.
“I have… no such excuse. I have reasons, but you’re under no obligation to believe them.”
Aventurine was silent, for a moment. He clenched his fists, his anger seeming to boil even hotter. “Aeons! How can you even talk like that right now! Are you that unbothered? Do you not give a shit at all?”
That was the opposite of the case, but Ratio didn’t want to set him off even further.
“You aren’t honest with me,” Ratio began, quietly.
Aventurine blinked.
“I… didn’t mean to hear any of that, at first, but it became…” Addicting. It made him feel special for knowing Aventurine more than anyone else. “An obsession.”
“Disgusting,” Aventurine uttered, seething with vitriol.
He was. He was disgusting. He had no right to take Aventurine’s words for anything more than face value. When Aventurine insisted he was fine, Ratio should have listened.
“I wanted to know more about you so I could—“
“Exploit me? Take advantage of me? Rip my heart out of my chest so you could—“
“I care about you!” Ratio admitted, raising his voice.
Aventurine blinked, before scowling deeper. “Hah, ‘care.’ Of course you ‘care.’ What kind of trouble would you be in if your dear Strategic Partner drank himself to death?”
“It’s not like that.”
“What is it like then? What else could it possibly be other than you keeping tabs on me to make sure I’m being a good little pawn?”
Ratio was starting to grow angry. He had no right to. He had brought this entirely upon himself.
“Do you truly believe that? That you mean nothing to me?” Ratio questioned, his volume now matching Aventurine’s.
“Fucking clearly! Since you don’t give a shit about my privacy or anything else I say.”
“I. Care. About you,” Ratio repeated, gritting his teeth. How could he possibly drill that into his head? How could you convince someone you cared about them when they didn’t even care for their own life?
“Really? You do? Playing completely dumb to how you know—when you shouldn’t fucking know—how I feel about you? So you can toy with me?”
“No! Aeons, Aventurine!”
“What then? Why the fuck would you ‘care’ about me for any reason other than to use me?!”
“You utter imbecile!” He wanted to grab Aventurine but held himself back. “I’m in love with you!”
Several emotions flashed across Aventurine’s face. At first, his rage seemed to peak, then it dulled to complete nothingness. “You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
“You can’t,” Aventurine insisted, his voice quieting, almost pleading.
“I can. I do.”
“Why?” He sounded desperate, now.
This was not a conversation he expected to have tonight. Nor one he really ever expected to have.
Ratio inhaled deeply, before spilling his guts. “It goes without saying, but your beauty is beyond comparison to anything other than divinity. You’re detrimentally reckless, but are intelligent enough to ensure all of your plans succeed. Your charisma, however fabricated, is utterly entrancing. You’re magnetic, and I find it impossible to pull myself away from you. You’re brilliant. And you are… so much more than you believe you are.”
“…You’re lying,” Aventurine said, after a moment of silence. But his words lacked confidence. Instead of infuriated he now sounded… defeated. Reluctantly acceptant.
“I’m not.”
“No…” Aventurine lifted his head up, with a meek smile. “Because you’re not very good at lying, after all.”
“No, I’m not.”
Aventurine looked as though he was contemplating slipping back into his Stoneheart persona or not, but seemed to give up on that idea, remaining rather… timid looking. Human.
“You still fucked up big time, though.”
Ratio let himself laugh, the tension in the room finally fizzling out. “I know. And I can’t begin to apologize enough for—“
“It’s fine,” Aventurine interrupted him. “I mean. It’s not, but… We can talk about this later. I need a minute.”
That was understandable. Ratio couldn’t possibly expect instant forgiveness from Aventurine. He was surprised the man hadn’t even kicked him from his house. He was surprised that his feelings… seem to have been accepted.
He found himself leaning in anyway, if only to give Aventurine a comforting touch, to maybe bring his lips—
Aventurine put a hand on Ratio’s chest. “You’re not getting a kiss right now, or anything. I’m mad at you.”
“…Right,” Ratio conceded, unjustifiably disappointed.
No, he didn’t get a kiss, but he got the most beautiful, authentic smile he had ever seen. Aventurine was positively radiant.
“And you’re going to teach me how to talk to the kids so I can teach them about boundaries.”
“Right, of course.”
-
And that was to be his punishment, though it hardly felt like one. His lectures only meant he got to spend more time with Aventurine, getting closer with him, laughing with him, and, eventually—
“Ratio,” Aventurine said, turning towards him.
“Yes?”
“I love you too.”
The kiss was chaste, just a quick peck on the lips, but Ratio felt his soul nearly ascend from his body.
It was but a brief moment, but the start of many more. The start of something deeper, of kindling love, and… communication, without the aid of some noisy cats.