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how lonely can i be?

Summary:

jeonghan has always hated his face. It's true that there's a lot of addvantages for him, but theres also the downside of it. people would always give him everything he want, it dosen't matter if it's impossible or not if it's what he ask for, people would fight to secure the things that he wants. he's happy that people willing to go that far for him. But the obbsesion of people trying to fufill his need gets to the point where he stop coming outside and trapped himself in his room for almost a year. if it's weren't for jisoo, he wouldn't have come out of his house and touch some grass. He hated himself, he hated how he look, he hated how he's born with a face like this. a stupid angelic face that could capture anyone heart by first glance. jisoo always try to assure him that he is always with him no matter what happend. but at that moment of time jeonghan can only think that jisoo is like all the other. fake, double face bitches that try to win his heart. a year of agonizing pain, jisoo have proof that his word is not just an empty shell. sadly that's all is in the past, nobody would approach him just to be 'friends' anymore.

Notes:

hey! thank you for clicking on this fanfic, tbh i don't feel really confident to post any of these but here i am... i'm sorry for the bad grammar, English is not my first language (please don't have a high hopes!! i'm scared that i will disappoint them). hope you guys like it

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: first encounter

Summary:

jeonghan has always hated his face. It's true that there's a lot of addvantages for him, but theres also the downside of it. people would always give him everything he want, it dosen't matter if it's impossible or not if it's what he ask for, people would fight to secure the things that he wants. he's happy that people willing to go that far for him. But the obbsesion of people trying to fufill his need gets to the point where he stop coming outside and trapped himself in his room for almost a year. if it's weren't for jisoo, he wouldn't have come out of his house and touch some grass. He hated himself, he hated how he look, he hated how he's born with a face like this. a stupid angelic face that could capture anyone heart by first glance. jisoo always try to assure him that he is always with him no matter what happend. but at that moment of time jeonghan can only think that jisoo is like all the other. fake, double face bitches that try to win his heart. a year of agonizing pain, jisoo have proof that his word is not just an empty shell. sadly that's all is in the past, nobody would approach him just to be 'friends' anymore.

Notes:

hi, this is my first time writing a fanfic so i hope it doesn't flop. sorry for my grammar, English is not my first language (PLEASE DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP BECAUSE OF THIS!) so i hope you can enjoy this fanfic. (i was thinking about making every svt member dated except for jeonghan :) )

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"congrats, for your new promotion mr. Yoon!!" the boss proudly says while patting jeonghan at the back. jeonghan who just came in the office can only pretend to chuckle when deep inside him is screaming in terror.

 

 

'FOR FUCK SAKE WHY CAN'T I HAVE A PEACEFUL LIFE!!!' jeonghan think to himself as he imagine himself strangling the manager until he is dead. But of course he won't show any of that and just keep his angelic smiling face to flatter the bos hearts, he doesn't want to lose this promotion, no. not yet. jeonghan always find himself stuck in a situation like this. it hasn't been a month since he transfer to a new 'work place' in andong , he hasn't even get used to the surrounding and yet he suddenly he got promoted because of his 'hard work' (the boss tried to seduce jeonghan but jeonghan pretended not to know and act fool).

 

 

jeonghan has always hated his face. It's true that there's a lot of advantages for him, but there is also the downside of it. people would always give him everything he want, it doesn't matter if it's impossible or not if it's what he ask for, people would fight to secure the things that he wants. he's happy that people willing to go that far for him. But the obsession of people trying to fulfill his need gets to the point where he stop coming outside and trapped himself in his room for almost a year. if it's weren't for jisoo, he wouldn't have come out of his house and touch some grass. He hated himself, he hated how he look, he hated how he's born with a face like this. a stupid angelic face that could capture anyone heart by first glance. jisoo always try to assure him that he is always with him no matter what happens. but at that moment of time jeonghan can only think that jisoo is like all the other. fake, double face bitches that try to win his heart. a year of agonizing pain, jisoo have proof that his word is not just an empty shell. sadly that's all is in the past, nobody would approach him just to be 'friends' anymore.

 

he sigh. oh how he missed hong jisoo right now, his mischievous twin. only jisoo could understand the frustration that he feel right now. he sigh once again and start to open his eyes, just to find that his boss has told everyone in the office that he got promoted to seoul. it's like a big achievement that the boss is proud of. everyone clap their hand to congratulate him, but of course there would be a people that feel dissatisfied by the news. who wouldn't?. a new comer, haven't even been a month since he work here, barely have any work to do and suddenly got promoted while the other have to work their asses off only for them to get critics by the upper up. he can feel their glare pierce through his body. "we're going to have a big congratulation party at the big BBQ restaurant!" the boss said as he turn to look at jeonghan as if he's asking jeonghan to compliment the things that he did for him. jeonghan can only nod and smile at the boss, showing no interest towards the boss. jeonghan turn and look at his coworkers and bowed a little, thanking them for their hard work, but mostly apologizing to people who's been wanting this promotion only for jeonghan to take it without having to work his ass off. "thanks for taking care of me (even though some of them didn't)" he raised his head and smile "i hope you guys would have a wonderful life, i will miss everyone in here (mostly he probably won't)". everyone just smiled so widely and give him a big applause.

 

...

 

 

"why the fuck do i have to do this stuff alone" jeonghan mutter to himself as he packed his stuff at his apartment (old apartment since he is going to seoul). jisoo just chuckle in the video call "sorry man i couldn't come to help you, i'm busy right now" "yeah, busy fucking seokmin" and there's seokmin voice screaming at the back of the video "hyung!!". both jisoo and jeonghan laugh "can't lie, i'm busy with that too. me and seokmin been having a wonderful night since you move out of here" jisoo says with a slutty tone while hugging seokmin. jeonghan can only roll his eyes and groan "dude, get a room" "we are already in a room jeonghan~" jeonghan sigh and continue packing. as the silent almost controlled the night jisoo decided to start a new conversation "have you found a new place to stay at jeonghan?" once again jeonghan groan "no, every apartment that is close to my work place has been rented or get sold to another person". jisoo just nod his head and hum "guess your charm didn't work this time huh?". jeonghan instantly turn his head and glared at jisoo "what? i'm just saying" jisoo says as he tried to defend himself. "well, not right now. i don't feel like making a jokes right now" jeonghan rub the bridge of his nose "sorry...need a shoulder to cry on?" jisoo said with an apologetic face. jonghan just shake his head "it's fine, maybe next time" "okay, don't push yourself too hard kay? if you need help you can just call seokmin or me. we're always be there if you need us" jeonghan nod and tiredly smile "of course" both of them waive goodbye and wishing each other good night before ending the call.

 

when jisoo first introduce seokmin to jeonghan, jeonghan is quite surprised to find out that jisoo is gay (since jisoo never told him anything related to his love live). at first the atmosphere is quite awkward. seokmin thought that jeonghan is homophobic, while jeonghan is thinking since when did jisoo realize that he is gay. jisoo try to get them to talk to each other, but ended up as a failures. as jisoo is still searching for a way to get jeonghan and seokmin to talk to each other, they unintentionally start to bond with each other when it comes to talking about jisoo behind his back (of course jisoo doesn't know about this) but he was happy to see that both of the person that he love is getting comfortable with each other.

 

...

 

"and that is the last one" jeonghan stand up and wipe his sweat away. after an hour of packing his stuff, jeonghan finally decided to take a look at his phone that have been vibrating none stop after he finished doing a video call with jisoo. he take his phone of his pocket and open to see if there's any important notification 'congrats message, congrats message, your application for the new apartment have been approved, congrats message-' eh!?. jeonghan shake his head and look at his phone again. he open the notification and read the email 'congratulation the apartment that you apply to stay have successfully been accepted. please met the vendor tomorrow at ten in the morning ' as he finished reading the email jeonghan couldn't hold back his happiness and started to scream "OH GOD! THANK YOU!!" as he jumped around the house out of happiness. he quickly search his phone and type a message to the group (jeonghan, jisoo and seokmin) to tell the good news.

 

hannie😇

GUYS! i have an amazing news!! @jishuji @seokminie

 

jishuji🐰

for fuck sake jeonghan it's 3 in the morning!!

 

seokminie😛

jisoo, don't be mean! :(

 

jishuji🐰

seokminie, we were sleeping!? and it's too early! >:(

 

hannie😇

listen to what your boyfriend said jisoo🙄

 

jishuji🐰

whatever, what is it

 

hannie😇

I GOT AN APARTMENT THAT I WANT!!

 

seokminie😛

OMG!! CONGRATS HYUNG!!! :)

 

jishuji🐰

oh wow, guess your charm did work

 

hannie😇

of course, my charm always work :)

 

jishuji 🐰

🙄🙄

 

seokminie😛

hyung, if you want us to come over and help or maybe celebrate about

the news we can come as soon as want us to come! ;)

 

hannie😇

aw, that's so sweet of you. but it's okay, i can manage this on my own :)

 

jishuji🐰

you sure?, if you need any help you can just tell us

 

seokminie😛

yeah, we don't mind

 

 

jeonghan chuckle and smile while reading their message, how lucky is he to get a caring friend like them?.

 

hannie😇

i'm fine, i'll tell you if i need any help with the stuff. but right now

i can manage this stuff on my own okay? and thanks for the

congratulation, i really appreciate this :)

 

joshuji🐰

of course

 

seokminie😛

anytime hyung!!

 

jeonghan smile to himself as he read the message. he close his phone and start moving the box full of his stuff to the front door, so it would make things easier for the box moving service to pick it up. after almost half an hour passed he is finally (truly) done. jeonghan look around his apartment that is now have nothing except for a mattress for him to sleep 'well, here's go my new apartment.' he sigh and stretch himself. after he is sure that everything in the house have been packed jeonghan then goes to take his beauty sleep.

 

...

 

 

time seems to passed so fast, as jeonghan have a lot of things under his sleeve. in the morning he have to meet the vendor to conform things and to sign everything that is important. then at night he have to attend the congratulation party that the boss held before he move to another work place. it was a hell of a day for jeonghan, everyone at the party try to get him to fuck them. they even go as far as to try to spike his drink or ask a person to drag him to a hotel (this include the boss too). it was mentally exhausting even if he try to held everything together. however, jisoo is always there to save him. both of them manage to get out of the party without anyone noticing and head straight to jeonghan home.

 

as they arrive at jeonghan apartment, seokmin is already there to greet both of them. jeonghan can't express how grateful he is that both of them decided to show up right now. he was about to crash out at the party, but thankfully that jisoo appeared at the right time. the three of them start drinking to celebrate jeonghan new apartment and to celebrate his promotion. they keep drinking until it's already late. jisoo ask jeonghan if he can put seokmin to sleep at his mattress for a minute (because jisoo still want to hang out with jeonghan) before leaving later and jeonghan just nod. "so, what did the vendor say?" jisoo ask as he is putting soekmin at jeonghan mattresses "nothing much...mostly about how friendly the neighbor is..and i can't remember anymore.." jisoo just chuckle as he listen. "that's good to hear" jeonghan sigh "maybe..." jisoo turn and look at jeonghan who is playing with the beer in his hand. "what wrong?" he slide beside jeonghan with a new can of beer in his hand "isn't that a good thing?" jeonghan nod "it is, but we don't know if the neighbor is actually kind or he's just using that to assure me" jisoo nod listening to jeonghan complaint. jisoo put his hand behind jeonghan and gently pat his back "let's think that in a positive way okay? we can't judge them before meeting them." jeonghan just sigh and nod "you're right.." jisoo smile "i'm always right" jeonghan scoff after hearing what jisoo said "really? you remember about that girl that you date back in high school thinking that she's really into you-" jisoo interrupt jeonghan before he could finished what he said "the past is in the past!!" jeonghan laugh his ass off as jisoo keep glaring at him. the night goes on as they keep drinking. jisoo decided to go home after a few drink (thankfully he's not drunk yet) he started to carry seokmin and wishing jeonghan good luck for tomorrow before walk out of jeonghan apartment

 

 

 ...

 

 

"here's the key for your apartment, the water won't work for a quite an hour so if you need anything just reach out to the neighbor." the vendor smile as he handed the apartment keys to jeonghan. jeonghan just nod as he take the keys "okay, thank you Mr. san" the vendor smile "if you need anything else you can just call me" the vendor pat jeonghan at the back then walk away leaving jeonghan alone. jeonghan started to carry his stuff to his new apartment. as he was walking at the corridor carrying the boxes for his new apartment, he sees a blond man arguing with a child, the child seems to have fun teasing the adult. 'okay...i guess this is normal?' as jeonghan search for his apartment number, it turns out that his apartment is right beside the child who is arguing with the blond guy earlier. as always jeonghan tried to avoid any new conflict by trying to walk slowly and avoid them, but before he could set his foot in the apartment the kid started to notice his presence. "hey, you're the new neighbor that uncle san was talking about!" the kid point his fingers towards jeonghan. the blond man quickly push his and down and start scolding the kid "that's rude! you can't point your fingers to an adult like that!" the kid started to pout and walk away. the man quickly stand up and apologize to jeonghan about the kids manner, jeonghan doesn't really mind actually. as the man continue to apologize jeonghan keep staring at his soft face features. the man has a round cheek that almost seems like a chipmunk, his eyes are round and big as if you could see the whole universe with it. the man also have a unique smell, a tangerine smell like. "oh it's okay, i don't really mind." the man smile as if he was pleased with jeonghan answer. "my name is seungkwan, boo seungkwan. i live at floor 7, above from your apartment". seungkwan reach his hand out to jeonghan. jeonghan put the box down and take seungkwan hands " yoon jeonghan, you have a very pretty name mr. boo" seungkwan chuckle, his ears is a little red. he has a very cute laugh too "thank you, you have a pretty name too and don't call me Mr. boo, it makes me feel too old. just call me seungkwan" jeonghan chuckle as he listen to seungkwan complaint about his age "okay then, you can call me jeonghan. it's nice meeting you kwanie" seungkwan scoff after he hears his new nickname "already getting comfortable i see" jeonghan shrug "what can i say, i get comfortable with people easily". both of them keep chatting until the sun almost set, jeonghan didn't even notice that the time already passed. "shit, look at the time. it was fun talking to you jeonghan, let's talk another time!" "of course, my doors is always open for you kwannie" seungkwan nod feeling satisfied. before jeonghan could ended the conversation seungkwan wanted to exchange number with jeonghan. at first jeonghan was reluncted to give his phone number to him, but seungkwan has been begging for almost half of the conversation. after a few more complaint and presuasion, jeonghan finally gives up and give seungkwan his phone number. seungkwan was over the moon when jeonghan give up on protecting his phone number, jeonghan find seungkwan cute when he keep celebrating his little win. both of them waves goodbye to each other and decided to call it a day.

 

"really? hah, that's so cute" seokmin keep giggling as jeonghan tells him the story of what happen earlier. "i know right? i think you would really like this kwannie guy" "i think so too hyung!" both of them laugh while thinking what could happen if seungkwan meet with seokmin (disaster of non stop talking). "alright, it's already late, let's go to sleep minnie. i can hear jisoo crying at the back asking you to end the called" seokmin gasp and groan "omg, s-shut up hyung!" jeonghan laugh, even if they're voice calling, jeonghan can imagine seokmin red faces panicking behind the phone "good night, hope you guys clean yourself up later!" "HYUNG-" before seokmin could finished his word jeonghan decided to hang up the call. jeonghan continue to laugh thinking how emberassing seokmin feels right now. jeonghan lay down at a mattress (he hasn't buy any house essentials yet) and slowly start to drift into the land of dreams

 

'i wonder what's tomorrows going to be like'

Notes:

if you like to see what is jeonghan next adventure, consider subscribing ;) i'll probably will post once every two weeks or maybe more early than that. it kinda depends on my mood and scheduled. (i'm hoping that i can consistently post this fanfic!!)