Chapter Text
Crickets chirped from the trees and brilliant white moonlight gave the entire world a soft glow. It was a beautiful night, yet it was probably going to be the worst one in Rainbow Dash’s life. The chill, which she normally would have found pleasant, seemed to burrow into her skin, and even the slightest breeze made her shiver so hard she thought her teeth might shatter.
She stumbled along the dirt path, trying her best to stay upright. Her wings hung limply at her side instead of curled in, the bruises and bloody scratches along her ribs screaming when she tried to tuck them up. She wanted to go home, but home wasn’t safe right now, and even if it was she couldn’t fly at the moment. So she was headed towards the next best place, a place she knew above all else would be safe.
She finally thumped her head weakly against the barn door, leaning against the wall as she waited for the knock to be answered. She knew any of her friends would have welcomed her in, but all her others would ask questions, questions with answers Rainbow didn’t even want to think about, much less say out loud. Applejack would ask, obviously, but she was the least likely to pester her if she didn’t answer. And while Fluttershy might have been better for her injuries, AJ was the one Rainbow felt safest with, even if she refused to admit it out loud.
Then again, there were reasons that would make this the worst place to go, reasons that she hadn’t really thought about on her way. The cutie mark, the accent, even the color of the coat had made the family of the pony who had attacked her almost undeniable.
She knew AJ had too many cousins and distant relatives to be close with all of them, but she also knew that she was fiercely loyal and protective of all of them. Rainbow couldn’t and wouldn’t ask to be chosen over her family. But maybe she wouldn’t need to choose. If Rainbow could keep the identity of her attacker a secret, or better that she was wrong about it, then she’d never have to risk losing her friend. She had just come to this conclusion when the door opened. She flinched at the sudden light, shrinking back down against the wall.
“Rainbow Dash?” A familiar accented voice asked, hoofsteps approaching her. Rainbow wanted to run to her friend immediately, but the newfound fear held her, even pushed her, back and away. Her eyes were shut tight, but she could still hear the hoofsteps halt.
“Wha’ happened to ya?” Applejack asked, and Rainbow heard her take another step forward. Rainbow shook her head, silently hoping that she wouldn’t have to answer. She opened her eyes a crack to see AJ standing a foot away from her, her hoof extended but not touching her. Applejack didn’t ask again, but the question was still on her face.
Rainbow felt tears building behind her eyes, threating to spill over. She could answer, it was really the only way to truly free herself from this, but she was scared. Scared that it wouldn’t help, that is would be so much more real when she said it out loud. She looked up at her friends face as a tear escaped and rolled down her own. She couldn’t do it. She shut her eyes again, pushing everything deep, deep down where maybe, she could learn to ignore it, and pushed the top of her head against her friends hoof, trying to find comfort in the light touch.
AJ’s hoof left her head momentarily, coming to rest on Rainbows shoulder. She held her there for a long moment.
“Let’s getcha’ inside.” Applejack finally said, lowering her neck so Rainbow could wrap her hooves around her shoulders and slinging her onto her own back like she weighed nothing. Rainbow buried her face in her friends mane as she was carried inside.
“Where’s your family?” She asked, startled at how weak her own voice sounded.
“Visiting others out of town.” Applejack answered, carefully setting Rainbow down on the couch. The soft cushions felt foreign against her scratched and bruised skin, clean and whole, unlike her. She pressed her face into them as AJ put a careful hoof on her back, checking for hidden injuries. Then she left, leaving Rainbow alone with her thoughts, the last thing she wanted. She hadn’t told a lie to AJ, but she felt guilty nonetheless. She knew that when you were hurt like this, the first thing everyone wanted you to do was to tell someone.
Someone you trusted. Rainbow didn’t know if there was another pony she trusted as much as her. But she couldn’t tell her. She couldn’t tell anyone. Even if she wasn’t terrified of losing her friend, telling anyone would mean admitting she had failed. That all her skills, her strengths, had failed in the one moment where it really mattered. She had failed, and was terrified it could happen again if she ever let her guard down again. She needed the feeling of safety that she had lost, even if it meant taking this to the grave, beyond if necessary.
Applejack finally returned, and Rainbows ears perked up despite herself. She felt her wing being gently lifted and a cool cloth being pressed to her side. It stung for a second, but quickly brought relief to the burning wounds. Rainbow stayed as still as possible as AJ tended her wounds, grateful for the silence between them. She didn’t have to do anything now. Just stay silent and let herself be taken care of. She tried her best not to wince, despite the shoots of pain still torturing her. The bruises seemed to be countless, marks of the attack etched onto her skin. Hoof marks.
Marks that wouldn’t be hard to recognize. She tensed as she came to this realization, and felt Applejacks hoof stop in place. Rainbow froze, hoping against hope that she hadn’t noticed. Her friends hoof traced her ribs again, not in a tending way but in a studying way.
“Rainbow…” She started to ask.
“No!” Rainbow yelped, shielding her face with her hooves. AJ was silent for a moment before her hoof came to rest on Rainbows head, cautiously stroking her mane.
“Don’t ask me. Please don’t.” Rainbow whispered into the cushions. She tried to curl her wings back in instinctively, yelping again as they exploded with pain.
“Hey, hey. Don’t do that.” Applejack said, her voice low and soothing as she carefully unfurled the damaged feathers. Rainbow felt tears running down her cheeks again as AJ continued to stroke her mane.
“Ya know ya can tell me anything?” She said. A sob escaped Rainbow, the tears running in full force as she turned and buried her face under her friends chin. Another hoof wrapped around her neck, holding her there as sob after sob escaped through her.
Rainbow Dash wanted to scream. She wanted a scream that was loud and painful enough to reflect her pain. But she couldn’t even do that. She was exhausted, and even the quiet gasps were taking nearly all her remaining strength. As for AJ, she was holding back tears or her own. She could handle, even if just barely, seeing her injured and broken, she could take care of her injuries without batting an eye, but she was breaking now.
She couldn’t handle the quiet, completely broken sounds her normally energetic, sometimes even arrogant friend was making. The thought that something, someone was out there who had shattered her, left nothing but an injured shadow of a pony curled up in her hooves, was devastating. But she fought to keep the tears in, crying would only make things worse. Rainbow needed her to be strong.
Rainbows sobs were getting weaker and quieter each second, her breathing becoming heavier and slower. She really was exhausted. She had been scared and running from danger all day, and now she finally got a break. She was finally safe, and warm, and the weak grip she had on herself was loosening. AJ didn’t let go as the Pegasus went limp in her hooves, waiting a moment before gently pulling her off of the couch and onto her back again.
She blew the candles out, plunging the room into darkness as she carried Rainbow upstairs and carefully set her down in a bed. She pulled the blanket up over her friends shoulders, gently nudging her lolling head back onto the pillow. Rainbow looked so much more peaceful now, the marks of her injuries hidden by the blanket and the darkness. The only hint of her pain now were the tears staining her cheek.
Applejack smoothed her mane again, before going around the side of the bed and lying down opposite her. She wanted to stay close to her, but even the closeness wasn’t enough to calm her, and she lay awake long into the night.
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A sharp cry cut through the otherwise silent night as Rainbow pulled herself out of a nightmare. She lay on her back, breathing hard while she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. The nightmare had been a sharp jolt back to reality. She wasn’t even safe asleep. Those moments from earlier were only temporary, the fear and danger followed her everywhere. She didn’t know if she’d ever feel truly safe again.
She rolled over in bed, determined to burrow herself in the sheets and blankets and never come out. The bed was warm from her lying in it all night, but she couldn’t find comfort in it. And she was still cold. She tossed and turned for a minutes before giving up trying to become comfortable. She looked around the room, but didn’t recognize anything in the dark. Carefully, quietly, she pushed herself up as much as she dared, looking over at the other side of the room. Applejack was asleep on her stomach at the other side of the bed, her head resting on her hooves.
She looked so peaceful. Rainbow was glad that she was close, but she was still scared. She lay back down facing her friend, listening to the steady sound of her breathing. She itched to move closer, but didn’t want to take even more advantage of her friends kindness. So she stayed away, tighting the blanket around herself and trying not to start crying again.
She tried to fall back asleep, but she knew what would be waiting for her when she did, so she gave up after only a minute. She finally opened her eyes again, resigned to watch the rise and fall of AJ’s breathing. She was still struggling when her friend lifted one of her hooves. Rainbows ears pricked up, but she still hesitated.
“C’mere.” AJ mumbled, her eyes still shut as she turned toward Rainbow, her hoof still extended. Rainbow moved closer, pushing herself into her friends embrace. AJ’s hooves wrapped around her neck as Rainbows head fell onto her shoulder.
She settled hesitantly into the hug, feeling a rush of affection for her friend. The nightmares seemed far away from her now, tucked safely in her friends hooves. Maybe this was only temporary, but she didn’t want to worry about it now. She buried her face in her friends shoulder, letting the warmth and exhaustion envelop her.
Applejack hugged her friend close, one of the tears she had suppressed trickling down her cheek. The amount of trust Rainbow was placing in her was almost overwhelming, allowing herself to be so vulnerable after being attacked like that. But there was more than that. It couldn’t be that simple. AJ knew what Rainbow was doing, she had known when she begged her not to ask what had happened. She was doing what she did best. She was running. She was escaping, trying to outrun her fear. She was building walls, walls to hide behind, walls to be alone behind. Walls that Applejack now needed to make sure didn’t came up. Maybe they’d protect her, and maybe she’d feel better, but they wouldn’t heal her wounds. They’d only make them fester, and slowly destroy her from the inside while she smiled from the outside.
And AJ was determined to not let that happen.