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The heady heat of the harvest month brings back a lot of memories. But a particular one is forever engraved to his heart. The blistering rays of the sun extend to every corner of the village and it is so quiet by the outskirts where one could even hear the beat of a butterfly’s wings.
But Kai hears a joyous coo of the baby.
He looks down at the little bundle of joy grinning up at him, excitedly reaching his hands up to touch Kai’s face. Kai lets him. The tiny, fragile fingers touch his cheeks and the baby gapes in a wondrous happiness, as though he has found a treasure. He lifts the baby up and deliberately blows into the infant’s stomach. The baby’s delirious cries and giggles fill the hut as he grips onto Kai’s hair. When Kai lets the baby down on the floor of the hut, the little thing crawls as fast as he can to the straw bed, which happens to be his item of fun. He gathers his favourite twigs and shoots Kai a beautiful smile, playfully slamming his twigs on the floor out of excitement. Then sucking on his fist, he climbs onto the straw bed sprawled on the floor and grabs his rag of a blanket.
Kai, seated on the doorstep of the hut, glances outside, letting out a heavy breath. Yes, this time of the year is bound to bring forth some beautiful memories which he will always cherish. All of this will be so much easier to bear and endure if he were here. If he were here to see their child grow. If he hadn’t died during childbirth. It is an autumnal night that Kai would never be able to forget. The night when they had made each other a million promises, which only Kai could try to keep.
* * *
“Kai,” a subtle call of his name grabs his attention forthwith. A thick sheen of sweat bathes his body under the scorching heat of the sun. Beads of sweat roll down his back and chest, drenching the waistband of his pants. Sweat droplets on his skin run down his face and dripped from his chin. His scalp burns like it is on fire, coating every strand of his hair with perspiration. He rolls his sore shoulders back and lowers the axe to the ground before he turns around to face the old man, who is smiling in his way. “You’ve worked hard today. It’s Harvest Day tomorrow. Everyone’s taken the day off. Here,” he hands Kai a handful of coins. Kai blinks at them.
“Sire, it’s… generous of you, but—”
“No buts, son. This is what you earned for the week. Go home. Buy yourself a pint and enjoy the rest of the evening. The sun’s about to go down. Here, take it.” He presses the silver coins in Kai’s hand.
Kai grins to himself, looking down at the three silver pieces in his hand. “Thank you, sire. I should… finish up with this woodpile before I leave.”
“You work way too hard just for yourself, you know,” the man snorts, patting Kai’s arm. “Take care, son.”
Kai pockets the coins and rubs the sweat on the nape of his neck before he picks up the axe as he is left alone under the sweltering, torrid sun. He chops a whole other pile of woods with a sheepish grin plastered to his lips. He, then carries the chopped woods into the log cabin and stacks them up. His hands are patterned with all sorts of blisters and blains from handling the axe and splinters all day long. He pulls his shirt on and bars the log cabin.
It is not like he has to work to provide for his family. He does not really have one. However, he needs to save up for a family he will soon have. Even the thought of it fires his spirits. It is all that he ever wants.
He weaves his way to the nearby river to take a quick dip, to wash off the sweat and sawdust.
Most of the village is mired in poverty, but the prosperous ones with deep pockets and silk stockings are untouchable. Almost. As he courses through the town that is cavorting in merry gambol for the Harvest Day, he smiles at the rollicking children and the women, who are labouring at readying the village for the bonfire night.
The sun sinks in the horizon, sucking all the light of the day away with it as the evening darkens, stretching its arms open for the night. The pleasantly blended music of kithara, lute and cymbals carries like the wind, filling the air with a stunning and soothing ambience.
Kai takes the hand of a small boy and twirls him around before the boy runs away, giggling, and dancing with his friends. He, then comes to an abrupt halt when he spots the street pedlar’s wagon. The old hag grins up at him.
“What can I get you, young man?” the hag says with a throaty cackle.
Kai could not help but smile at the brown string with a small silver pendant. It has the most intricate design, but it is so beautiful. Beguiling, to say the least. “What is this?” he asks the old pedlar.
“Oh, it’s a charm. For great luck and love. Is there a special someone?” she smirks and it forms more wrinkles on her face.
Kai returns her smile and bites his lower lip. “How much for it?”
“One silver piece.”
He pays her the money and she hands him the string with the pendant. He offers her a ‘thanks’ and pockets the pendant. The rich does not participate in any of the villagers’ celebrations. They have their own society, which none of the poverty-stricken, lower peasant class is allowed to even catch a glimpse of.
As the night casts its inky, velvety sky overhead, the village revels into a wilder frolicking. Kai climbs over the fence of the biggest, most opulent bricked homestead in the village. The back of the homestead always looks abandoned, which is good. The household’s servants don’t usually come out at night.
He helplessly bites back on a grin and grabs a pebble from the ground. He glances up at the window on the second floor. His heart races in his chest, hopping with exhilaration. He hurls the pebble, which bounds off the window’s glass with a subtle clatter. He waits for a moment, restlessly prancing on his feet.
The window slides open.
Sehun perks his head out and flashes a radiant smile, which Kai would die to see every single waking moment. He would be the luckiest man if he could die one day, looking at that smile. “Come up,” Sehun silently mouths, waving at him.
Kai does not waste another moment and starts climbing up the bricks. When he grabs onto the ledge of the window, Sehun steps back, so that he can climb in. As soon as he is in the dark room, which he has been in copious amount of times, Sehun throws his arms over his shoulders, around his neck. “God, I’ve missed you,” Kai whispers, sealing Sehun’s lips with his own. The kiss is half desperate, half passionate and wholly hungry. Sehun is warm in his arms, like a speck of sunlight in a cold wintry night. He instantaneously surrenders to Kai, letting him ravage his lips.
Kai gently pushes Sehun against a wall and kisses him full on mouth, languidly tasting every inch of it. He keeps his grip light on the edges of Sehun’s waist as Sehun’s hands hold onto the sides of Kai’s neck. Sehun easily allows him access when Kai swipes his tongue along the seam of Sehun’s lips.
A faint moan escapes Sehun’s mouth when Kai catches his lower lip between his teeth and gently suckles it. He gives the swollen lip a peck before lowering his kisses to Sehun’s neck. Sehun’s fingers slide into Kai’s hair and entangle themselves around it. When Kai traces the vein on the neck with his tongue, Sehun clenches his shirt by the shoulder and moans.
Kai lets out a breathy laugh, pressing their foreheads together. “Shh, we wouldn’t want your grumpy old dad to hear us,” he chuckles and Sehun exhales a whispery laughter before he presses his lips against Kai’s. Kai clasps a hand to a side of Sehun’s face and deepens the kiss. Their bodies are pinned together, but not completely. Kai laughs again into the kiss. “Someone’s really bothering us,” he mutters under his breath, breaking the kiss to glance down at Sehun’s tiny bump that is obstructing them from getting any closer. Sehun’s baggy shirt hides the bump well, but it is growing every day. Soon, he will not be able to hide it.
Sehun is scowling when Kai looks back up at him. “Don’t make fun of us,” he whines, pouting a little, still clinging onto Kai’s shoulders.
“I’m not,” Kai rasps and laughs, slipping his hand into Sehun’s shirt. When he splays a hand over Sehun’s baby bump, Sehun clenches his eyes shut and sucks in a shaky breath, lowering his head. Kai brushes his lip on Sehun’s forehead, gently caressing the bloated stomach. “He’s… big now.”
“He really is,” Sehun exhales and tilts his head to kiss Kai on the lips. “I… want to be with you, Kai. Take me away… Please.”
“Come with me, then,” Kai drags his lips to Sehun’s cheek. “Let’s leave. Now.”
Sehun frowns. “Where would we go?”
Kai swallows and heaves a sigh. “Anywhere.”
“My father will find me and he will kill the both of us, Kai.”
“Three of us,” Kai corrects him, pressing his hand harder into the bump.
Letting out an exasperated breath, Sehun inches towards the open window and leans his side to the frame. Kai wraps his arms around Sehun’s waist from behind and burrows his chin in the crook of Sehun’s neck. “I think my mother is starting to suspect,” Sehun murmurs, shifting a little so that he can rest his head on Kai’s shoulder. Kai kisses his temple.
“I want you to trust me, Sehun. I will protect you and our baby. But I won’t force you to leave your family. I know the value of a family.”
Sehun lifts his head and miserably frowns at Kai, a hand soothing one of Kai’s cheeks. “Kai… you have a family.”
“And I want my family.” He scoops Sehun up into his arms and carries him to the bed. This is his family. Kai had been nothing but an orphan until he met Sehun. Sehun was a shy boy in the village, laboriously lugging a bag of flour until Kai had offered to carry it for him. Kai does not really know how it happened, but it did. They fell in love and one secret meeting led to another. The day Sehun had told about his unexpected pregnancy was probably the best day of Kai’s life thus far.
He gently settles Sehun on the bed. Kai does not own any fancy feather beds like Sehun does. He has an uncomfortable straw bed in his small hut, which is barely enough for even himself. The thought only saddens him. He certainly does not want Sehun to suffer in poverty as he does, especially not when Sehun is well-accustomed to luxury and comfort. But Kai can work twice as hard to keep him happy. He doesn’t mind.
Kai climbs onto the bed and kneels between Sehun’s drawn up knees before he leans forward and claims Sehun’s lips. “Would he… hear me if I spoke to him?” he asks, brushing their lips.
Sehun scoffs and smirks. “As though I’m an expert? I don’t know, Kai. I presume he does. Otherwise, I must be an idiot for talking to him all the time.”
“What do you talk to him?”
“I mostly scold him for making me puke out the food I ate. And I tell him… whenever I miss you.”
Kai’s hand slithers into Sehun’ nightshirt again and strokes the baby bump. “Does he… miss me?”
“What I think he misses is honey cakes,” Sehun chuckles.
Kai blinks. “He likes honey cakes?”
“I know I don’t. But now, I just eat as many as I could whenever my mother makes them.”
“Wow,” Kai slides down Sehun’s body and pushes the nightshirt up. He keeps his eyes on Sehun and he bows his head, placing a soft kiss on Sehun’s stomach. Sehun gnaws on his smiling lip. “If you can hear me… I’ll let you know that I am waiting for you,” Kai whispers and presses another kiss to the stomach.
Sehun helplessly giggles at that. “That is all?!”
Kai frowns. “What… else should I say?” Kai is honestly terrified about this whole idea of parenting.
“Tell him you love him.”
“He knows that. I made him.”
Sehun arches an eyebrow. “You made him? Oh, I don’t have any partaking in this?”
Kai rests a side of his head on the stomach and listens for a moment. It sounds like there are movements, but he isn’t sure if they the baby’s. He stays in that position for a stretch of time. Sehun eventually cards his fingers through Kai’s hair and silently strokes it, while Kai hugs his baby. Sort of.
“I… brought you something,” Kai says in a monotonous voice and sits up, pulling Sehun up with him. Sehun straddles his hips over Kai’s and sits on his lap, arms draped over Kai’s shoulders.
“Really?” Sehun’s eyes widen in excitement.
Kai pulls the string and the pendant out. “It isn’t much, but—”
“It’s beautiful,” Sehun breathes out shakily with tears glossing his eyes. Kai smiles and ties it around Sehun’s neck. Kai does not fight it when Sehun kisses him. Slower this time. Sadder. Every movement of his lips is dipped in sorrow. “Let’s run away, Kai,” Sehun rasps against Kai’s lips with a pearl of tear trickling down his rosy cheek.
“Sehun—”
“I don’t care where. Hut, ground, mud. So long it’s you, me and our baby,” he pleads with a sob choking his throat. “Because… when I die, I want to be by your side.” He takes Kai’s hand and presses it to his stomach. “Promise me you will take care of him should anything happen to him.”
“I promise, Sehun. I love you. But nothing will happen to you, okay? I will not let anything happen to you.” Kai kindly pushes Sehun back on the bed and mounts him. He yanks Sehun’s shirt off and presses himself between Sehun’s legs.
An unforgettable autumnal night.