Work Text:
They were too young when they met for the first time.
At least that's what Dustin always thought, or what he tried to think to convince himself that is why it all went the way it did.
Too young and too naive, she was traumatized and he was just a nerdy little boy who didn't even know what love was.
Well, he still was a nerd but the rest? The rest changed, he is eighteen now and he definitely knows what love is.
Dustin never really understood why Mike acted the way he did, why he claimed El as his when she could barely function normally, let alone function in a relationship.
Maybe if they waited a bit they might have worked out...or maybe not, considering that now Mike and Will were definitely together and maybe that's how it was meant to be all along.
The thing is that now they are all paired up, all the friend group, Wil has Mike, Lucas has Max and Dustin...Dustin has...nobody?
Okay that's now entirely true, he wants to be honest at least with himself, he likes El, has liked her for a while now...maybe he even loves her, so you can say he has her, but in reality it's Eleven that has Dustin.
It all started last year, it was around Christmas and they were all celebrating and sharing gifts, Mike and Will were all cuddled up on the couch, Lucas and Max were bickering like and old married couple and Dustin was sitting on the sofa opening a gift, a gift from Eleven.
She was sitting right beside him, "C'mon Dustin, open the gift!", she told him excitedly.
He finally tore open the wrapping paper and what was inside took his breath away, it was a book, but it wasn't a normal book, inside it had a bunch of pictures, descriptions and postcards, it was like a scrap book, made for him.
It was full of memories, all the things they did together, divided in section, one for friends, one full of DnD stories, all the stories Dustin recounted El from various sessions, and the last section was only about the two of them.
It had pictures of the two sprawled on the couch watching movies, a picture of when Dustin tried to teach her how to build a walkie-talkie, a picture of El with Dustin old "thinking cap".
As Eleven waited patently for Dustin to finish looking at the gift he realized something...that pic, the last pic of Eleven was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and he suddenly knew what was happening, he was falling, so, so hard.
And when he looked up at her, smiling at him without a care in the world all he wanted to do was kiss her, but he didn't, instead he said "Gosh El, that's so cool, did you made it yourself?".
She nodded and he couldn't help himself, he hugged her and whispered in her hair "that's the most beautiful gift I've ever received, thank you".
She hugged him back, almost soffucating him and his smile just widened.
That's when he knew it was all going downhill.
Now, more that a year later he knows that was he initially hoped was just a silly crush has become a soul breaking love, but he can't do anything about that.
Maybe if they had met later on in life, maybe he could have done something, at least preventing all that shit storm with Mike, but that didn't happen.
Now he can't risk losing her, he rather have her as a friend, a best friend, but he knows she would never reciprocate his feelings...
Lucas sometimes looks at him when they are all together, he knows, Dustin never told him but he still knows.
The thing is that Lucas never tried to convince Dustin to do anything, not like when Mike told them he liked Will and the first thing that Lucas did was encourage him to talk to their friend. No, Lucas never said anything to Dustin.
Even worse, he looks at him with something that's almost pity, and Dustin just shrugs, smiles and continue like nothing is wrong.
Everything is fine, the Upside down is no longer a problem, they did a lot of things in their short lives and still Dustin can't find the courage to do (maybe) the most important thing, he can't let go, but at the same time he can't tell anything to El, it would not go well.
She is happy now, living a good life, she doesn't need a boyfriend, maybe she doesn't even need Dustin, but he will always need her.
------------
I look at him, he is always by my side, I couldn't ask for anyone better, he is my everything...I'm just afraid he doesn't realize that...