Work Text:
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
"Yo, Wendy Watson."
"Hey, Noser."
"I'm on my way," Noser says thoughtfully, fretting a chord and pointedly not strumming.
"To God don't know?" Wendy offers.
"My brain's the burger."
"And my heart's the coal," Wendy agrees, heading towards her door.
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
"Hey, Lace."
"Hey, Dub-Dub. Did you forget your watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for your mysterious temp job?"
"No, I just wanted to have some time to myself without worrying about getting a work call... oh no. It's been going off all day, hasn't it?"
Lacey nods just as it goes off again, as if on cue. Vwoop! Vwoop! Vwoop!
"[BLEEP]," Wendy sighs, and picks the watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for her mysterious temp job up off the table. "Hey, look, I-"
"Dubbie, are you okay?!" Her boss rarely sounds this panicked. "You haven't answered your Middlewatch all day."
"Yeah, boss, must've forgot it," she says, realizing mid-lie that it's not much of a lie. "Ugh. Let me guess. You need me at work for something. Man, I just got home, too..."
"I'll meet you outside in thirty minutes," the Middleman says.
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Thirty minutes later.
"Hey, boss, what's up?"
A figure steps out from the shadows, and before Wendy knows what hits her, something hits her.
Ow, [BLEEP], that hurts-
The flurry of [BLEEP]s that come out of her boss's mouth are unlike anything she's ever heard him say before, so her last thought is something like Wow, it must be bad, and then it all goes dark-
---
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Loop 2.
"Yo, Wendy Watson."
"Hey, Noser."
"I'm on my way," Noser says thoughtfully, fretting a chord and pointedly not strumming.
"To God don't know?" Wendy offers, beginning to frown. "Hey, haven't we already-"
"My brain's the weak heart."
"And my heart's the long stairs," Wendy agrees, heading towards her door. She shakes her head. "Huh."
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Still in Loop 2.
"Hey, Lace."
"Hey, Dub-Dub. Did you forget your watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for your mysterious temp job?"
"No," Wendy says, feeling very much like she has already had this conversation. "I just wanted to have some time to myself without worrying about getting a work call... oh no. It's been going off all day, hasn't it?"
Lacey nods just as it goes off again. Vwoop! Vwoop! Vwoop!
"[BLEEP]," Wendy sighs, and picks the watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for her mysterious temp job up off the table. "Hey, look, I-"
"Dubbie, are you okay? You haven't answered your Middlewatch all day."
"Yeah. Sorry. I know, you need me, something pinged on the HEYDAR or whatever. Um... I have this weird feeling of deja vu."
"I'll meet you outside in thirty minutes," the Middleman says.
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
I have this weird feeling of deja vu.
"Hey, boss, what's up?"
A figure steps out from the shadows, and before Wendy knows what hits her, something hits her.
"[BLEEP]," Wendy says, and dies.
---
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
I think I'm stuck in a time loop. Round 3.
"Yo, Wendy Watson."
"Hey, Noser, I think I'm stuck in a time loop, so let's skip the indie rock reference, I gotta figure out what the hell is going on."
"...And then a step to the right," Noser mutters, as Wendy heads to her door.
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
I'm in a [BLEEP]ing time loop, okay?
"Hey, Dub-Dub? Your-"
"My watch-phone thing. Yes. Sorry." Wendy picks it up off the table.
"Jeez," Lacey mutters.
"Hey, boss," Wendy says, before it can go off again.
"Dubbie, I-"
"Yes. Look. I'm sorry I didn't pick up before, but this is the third time we're having this conversation. I'm in a [BLEEP]ing time loop, okay? And you're gonna ask to meet me outside in thirty minutes, and when I do, I'm going to die, and then I'm gonna wake up walking back to my place and then you're gonna ask to meet me outside in thirty minutes, and please tell me you believe me, 'cause we're probably gonna have to have this conversation a dozen more times, and it'll be easier on us both if you believe me the first time."
"Of course!" the Middleman exclaims. "Time loop. Fascinating. Oh - in the next loop, just say 'code two-two,' that's Middleman code for 'I'm in a time loop, please believe me, I don't want to have this conversation another dozen times.'"
"Code twenty-two?"
"Two-two," he corrects. "Groundhog day."
"Of course."
"Oh, and, uh, sorry to hear about your impending death. But the time loop means we have practically infinite chances of saving you! Now, Dubbie - do you know what it is, exactly? Who or what it is that kills you?"
"I have a feeling I'm going to find out in about twenty-nine minutes," she sighs, and hangs up as she hears her boss asking Ida to check the HEYDAR for anything wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey.
"Dub-Dub?" Lacey asks, tentatively. "Did you just say you were going to die in twenty-nine minutes?"
"Uh... no?"
"Good."
"Yeah. That'd be crazy, right?"
"I would want to know, you know, if you were going to die." The sincerity in Lacey's voice makes Wendy hesitate, for some reason.
"It's okay. You won't remember," Wendy promises.
"What?"
"Nothing."
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
About twenty-seven minutes later.
This time, Wendy is able to discern that it's a human, or humanoid, anyway, figure, holding a gun, or something gun-adjacent, before the gun-adjacent thing shoots her.
---
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
How many times am I gonna have to do this?
"Yo, Wendy Watson."
"Hey, Noser. My brain's the cliff and my heart's the bitter buffalo. No time, sorry."
"Hey, how did you-"
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Code two-two. I'm in a time loop, please believe me, I don't want to have this conversation another dozen times.
Wendy snatches her watch-phone thing off the table and sighs. "Hey, boss. Code two-two."
The Middleman is all business, now. "I see. How many times have we-"
"This makes four," she says. "You're going to meet me outside in thirty minutes, and someone - I think it's a human, or humanoid, anyway - with a gun, or something gun-adjacent - is going to shoot me."
"Well," he says. "I will meet you outside in thirty minutes, and I will endeavor to shoot them first."
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Thirty minutes later.
He doesn't.
---
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Wendy misquotes the song. (Noser frowns.)
Wendy ignores Noser. ("Yo, Wendy Watson...?")
Wendy breaks Noser's guitar. ("Hey, what the-")
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Code two-two, again (and again, and again, and...)
"Code two-two," Wendy says, sounding bored. "We're on loop (insert number here). Someone outside of my building is going to ambush us and shoot me dead in thirty minutes."
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
She tries dodging, she tries taking a different path out of the building, she tries getting there early (let's make it fifteen instead of thirty), she tries getting there late (let's make it an hour instead of thirty).
Nothing works.
She tries not leaving her building at all, and sighs with frustration the "next morning," when she wakes to find herself in the corridor to the illegal sublet she shares with another young, photogenic artist, about to quote a Modest Mouse song to Noser.
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
"Lacey, what would you do if you had thirty minutes left to live?"
"What an oddly specific question."
"Just wondering."
"I guess I'd do something... impulsive," Lacey says, and grins. "Why?"
"I've just been thinking."
"About dying in thirty minutes? You better not."
Wendy sighs. "It's not permanent."
---
Wendy's mutant power that lets her know exactly how relationships are going to end has been warning her since college and well into this illegal sublet situation.
"Can't ruin the friendship if the time loop resets," she mutters to herself, and kisses Lacey.
"Dub-Dub, what-"
"Just thought I'd do something impulsive. Sorry," Wendy says, and leaves the illegal sublet to go to her death.
---
On the next loop, Wendy sticks around long enough to let Lacey kiss her back.
---
A couple loops later, and Wendy adds a code eighty-six [shuts down the Real-Time Situation Recording Archive if a Middleman or Middle-trainee requires privacy of a personal nature] to her code two-two [I'm in a time loop, please believe me, I don't want to have this conversation another dozen times] after asking for more time to figure this out.
---
"I think I [BLEEP]ed up," Wendy says, staring at the ceiling.
"What? No. No complaints here." Lacey smiles, places a kiss on Wendy's collarbone before resting her head on Wendy's shoulder. "It's okay if you need to answer your watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for your mysterious temp job. We can talk about this later. Or not. Doesn't have to be a thing."
"You're being surprisingly cool about this," Wendy says.
"We are two young, photogenic artists," Lacey says. "It was going to happen sooner or later, I've been waiting for you to catch up."
I think I could stand to live in this one, Wendy thinks, before heading out to die again.
---
Corridor to the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
The final loop.
"Yo, Wendy Watson."
"Hey, Noser."
"In this life that we call home," Noser says.
"The years go fast," Wendy notes.
"And the days go so slow," Noser adds.
Wendy heads to her door.
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
"Hey, Lace."
"Hey, Dub-Dub. Did you forget your watch-phone thing that seems too high-tech for your mysterious temp job?"
"Sorry. It's been going off all day, hasn't it?"
Lacey nods just as it goes off again. Vwoop! Vwoop! Vwoop!
"Hey, boss. Code two-two," Wendy says. "I've lost count of how many [BLEEP]ing loops I've been in. You got one of those stun bomb things? Can't believe I didn't think of that before."
---
Outside the building containing the illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
Thirty minutes later.
The Middleman throws the stunned attacker in the back of the Middlemobile.
"Good work, Dubbie," he says. "I can handle things from here. Since you've had a much longer day than I."
"Still don't know if time's gonna reset anyway, for some other stupid reason," Wendy says. "I'll see you in the morning. Unless I have to relive this [BLEEP] yet again. I guess we'll see."
The Middleman nods. He looks like he's going to get in the car, then pauses. "Dubbie," he says, all seriousness. "Every Middleman has been stuck in a time loop at one point or another, and... well, I think you should know. Time loops can be frustrating. People say things they don't mean, knowing everyone else will forget by the next loop. It's only natural. I am sure some of the loops were... regrettable. You have nothing to worry about."
"...Okay. What if I did something I really, really don't regret?"
The Middleman considers this, then smiles. "If you're the only one who remembers it," he says, "then you'll regret that instead."
---
The illegal sublet Wendy Watson shares with another young, photogenic artist.
A couple minutes later.
"Hey, Dub-Dub. What was that about?"
"Oh, nothing... just a work thing."
"That was it? They've been calling you all day. That didn't take very long."
Wendy laughs. "Oh, you have no idea."
"Oh. Do you have to go back out?"
"No."
"Then are you gonna come in? What're you still hanging in the doorway for?"
"Thinking about doing something impulsive," Wendy says, and then does.
---
end.