Work Text:
The Lizowskis' backyard is a disaster zone of half-inflated balloons and abandoned party hats when little Jude Lizowski makes his grand escape from civilization. His Superman underwear—the last bastion of decency—flies into the lilac bush as he whoops, arms windmilling through the February slush.
"C'mon, guys! It's way better like this!"
Jonesy Garcia hesitates for exactly three seconds—long enough to see Caitlin's horrified gasp, Wyatt's jealous stare at Jude's total freedom, and the way Nikki's already kicking off her light-up sneakers—before the denim overalls hit the grass.
"Dude. Dude." Jonesy's voice squeaks with revelation as icy mud squelches between his toes. "This is science!"
Jen stands sentinel by the abandoned cake table, fists on her hips. "My mom says bad decisions have consequences!"
Her lecture dissolves into shrieks when Jude lobs a mud clod that splats against her pinafore. Inside the kitchen, Jude's mother presses her forehead against the window.
"We rented the bouncy castle," she whispers, as her husband silently hands her the industrial-sized Tide.
Beyond the glass, six tiny anarchists howl like wolves, baptizing Jude's sixth birthday in glorious, primal filth.