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Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz met in 2008. November 12, 2008, to be specific

It was a purely accidental meeting. Well, sort of. 

Because Eddie always walks the same route home from school, and he just ‘conveniently’ ran into the new ranch hand at the farm that he passes by twice every day. (Once on the way to school, and once on the way back home from school.)

The moment they locked eyes, they fell in love. 

Eddie stopped by the farm every day after school, after that first day, walking and talking with Evan around the ranch, getting to know each other, helping the other man out if he needed it. 

They became fast friends, both wanting more but not having the guts to take that next step. 

Until exactly one year, four months, two weeks, and a day after knowing each other, April 11, 2009, they kissed for the first time in a pile of hay on the ranch the blonde worked on, Evan ending up in Eddie’s lap as they were making out, dry humping, coming with each other’s names on their lips, promising to love each other as long as they live. 

So they started by becoming boyfriends, Eddie still stopping by the ranch every day, to walk and talk, make out behind the barns, giving each other quick, mind-blowing handjobs, sometimes a blowjob depending on their mood or need for it, calling and texting each other every day. 

It was perfect. 

They took certain things slowly. Anal sex, more so than anything else. 

It was two months into their relationship before they started fingering each other, then shortly after that, they started having penetrative sex, switching almost every time. Evan is very experienced in the world of gay sex—he’s bisexual and has been out for a while—but not Eddie, so Evan let Eddie get comfortable with each aspect of it before moving on to the next thing. (They’ve both discovered that Eddie is kinky. Buck was already an established freak, and Eddie matches his freak perfectly. They’re true soulmates in every way.)

They kept their relationship secret only from Eddie’s parents, Helena, and Ramon Diaz. Eddie made sure that his parents didn’t know; they were already so high up his ass about stupid shit enough, and they didn’t need to know this. 

Not that Eddie is ashamed in any way. He never could be ashamed of Evan. 

Evan didn’t mind one bit. He understood, and he continued to love Eddie no matter what. 

Then they were both thrown a surprise, a little over a year into their romantic relationship, it was after they got engaged, for only a month, Evan proposed. 

He beat Eddie to it, actually. Eddie had a ring already, and a plan. It was his Abuelo’s wedding ring that Abuela gave to him when he told her he was gonna propose when she and Pepa came to visit for Thanksgiving. They live in Los Angeles, California, and they always come to El Paso for holidays and birthdays. 

Abuela absolutely adores Evan. All of Eddie’s family does, minus Helena and Ramon, who still had no idea that he and Evan are together, and who just tried their best to avoid him. They knew that he is Eddie’s best friend. Which Evan is, but he’s also the love of Eddie’s life, to be Eddie’s husband one day.

Anyway, the big surprise was that Evan actually has the carrier gene and can get pregnant.

The two were overjoyed with the news, albeit nervous, but also really happy. 

So Eddie contacted his Abuela and Pepa in LA because he and Evan were ready to get the hell out of Texas. 

The two women told the couple to come right over to LA and that there’s a house that they should buy because it was recently put up for sale, that it’s meant for a big family, and it’s very fairly priced. (Not to mention less than fifteen minutes away from Pepa and Abuela’s house.)

Evan and Eddie put a down payment on the house immediately, moving into it a few months later. Buck was four and a half months pregnant once they were fully settled in. 

Then they got married in a courthouse with Pepa and Abuela as the witnesses. God, that day was a really good day. (And technically, it wasn’t fully legal for gay marriage in LA at the time, but when it was a few years later, Buck and Eddie made it fully official. They still called each other ‘husband’, no matter if it was completely legal or not. They didn’t give a shit. They were married, and no one could tell them they weren’t.)

Then Eddie had to square away some stuff with the U.S. Army because he’d already enlisted. He just had to let them know his new address, that he wasn’t living in Texas anymore, and that he moved to Los Angeles. He decided to enlist in the Army so he could provide for his family. It was the quickest and most efficient way he knew, because the Army has excellent medical plans, and lord knows that they needed it, especially with a baby on the way. 

Evan had forgotten about that. Eddie had told him that forever ago, but nothing ever came of it. Then, when Evan was five months pregnant, Eddie went to boot camp. 

It was no longer illegal to be gay in the military by this time, but it wasn’t advised, and no one talked about it if they were. The “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing.

Eddie for sure didn’t. He just wore his St. Christopher medallion around his neck that Evan bought for him when they found out what gender their kid was, a boy, and they were going to name him Christopher after the Saint, so he could hold his boys close to his heart as he got through boot camp, because his wedding ring was on the chain too. 

Once boot camp was over, Eddie made sure to stay home to be there for his family. 

Bootcamp was a three-month process, and Buck was eight months pregnant when it ended, so Eddie made sure he could go home afterwards to be with his partner and prepare for their baby.

He never said his partner's gender, but it was enough for the captain to send him home. 

Eddie knew he would get weird glances if he said ‘he’. Not that he’s embarrassed in any way, he just doesn’t want to get mocked for falling in love with a man. (There’s nothing wrong with it, but some people don’t see it that way.)

It wasn’t until Christopher was three years old that Eddie got deployed for his first tour. 

That day was a really hard day for all three of them. 

+++

July 2014 - LAX, Eddie’s Deployment Day 

Evan and Eddie walk hand-in-hand through the airport to security, Christopher being carried by Evan because he didn’t want to worry about Chris’s crutches. 

He has cerebral palsy (CP) from complications of the birth. 

Evan is fine. Only Christopher was affected by it.  

Evan hates himself for it. 

They stop in front of the security gate, Evan and Eddie looking at each other in pure devastation. 

“This is it, then,” Eddie says quietly. 

Evan fights the urge to cry. He’s not letting himself break down. Especially not in front of their son. 

“Be careful, Eds, please.”

Eddie smiles softly at his husband. “Always, Ev.”

“Papa, Papa,” Chris babbles, reaching out for the brunette. 

Eddie doesn’t hesitate to take his son into his arms and kiss his soft golden curls. “I love you, Chris.”

“I love you too, Papa.” Chris nuzzles into Eddie’s neck. “When will you be home?” 

“I don’t know yet, mijo. But it won’t be forever.”

Chris pouts. “Okay.”

“We’ll know more once he’s all settled in, baby,” Buck softly adds, placing a hand on Chris’s back. 

“It better be soon,” Chris sasses. He has inherited the infamous Diaz Sass Evan has been heavily acquainted with since he met Eddie all those glorious years ago.

Evan and Eddie chuckle at that. God, they love their kid. 

“It will be,” Eddie vows with another kiss to Chris’s hair. “I love you, mijo.”

“I love you too, Papa,” Chris says back, hugging Eddie tightly. 

Eddie closes his eyes and hugs his son tighter. “I love you so much, Christopher.”

“Love you too, Papa,” Chris says through tears. 

Eddie then opens his free arm that isn’t holding up his son for Evan. “C’mere.”

Evan doesn’t hesitate to hug his husband and son. It’s a group hug full of tears. Even though Chris doesn’t fully understand why Eddie is leaving, he knows that his Papa will be gone for a while. 

“You two stick together, okay?” Eddie tells his boys. 

“Promise, Papa."

“Promise, Eds.” Evan’s eyes fill with unshed tears. “You promise to stay safe?”

Eddie nods with a tiny smile, eyes glossy. “Always.”

Eddie gives Chris a few more kisses before handing him back to Evan, then he kisses his husband sweetly, hating that this will be their last kiss for a long time, as Chris holds onto his Papa the best he can in his position. 

One of the couple's favorite things to do is simply kiss each other. There’s just something about it that settles them and comforts them, and now they won’t have it for a few months—at least. 

“I love you,” Evan whispers to Eddie, tears stinging in his eyes. 

“I love you too, mi amor.”

The two men press their foreheads together and just stay there for a moment, then Eddie pulls back, giving his boys each one last kiss before grabbing his duffel bag and heading towards the security gate. 

Evan and Chris watch Eddie walk away until he’s out of sight before heading home, sleeping in Evan and Eddie’s bed, holding each other close, crying themselves to sleep. 

+++

July 2018 - Los Angeles 

Evan misses his husband every day, and Eddie’s been deployed for over four years now. 

The phone calls, video calls, and written letters help. 

What he really hates, though, is when Eddie comes home for two weeks every six months and has to leave all over again.

And each time, it gets harder and harder to watch the love of his life leave, and possibly never come back.

Evan has had problems with abandonment in the past, but ever since he and Eddie got together years ago, he’s coped with it. He knows people leave sometimes, but they come back. Just like he knows Eddie will come back.

Which will be soon.

Because when Eddie was home two months ago, he told Evan he’s on his final tour—“Just one more year, Evan, baby, maybe less, depending on how it all goes.”—and then he’ll be home for good.

Evan is counting down the days. Chris too.

+++

September 2018

Evan is now a probationary firefighter of the Los Angeles Fire Department. He didn’t start at the fire academy until 2016, but then there was a hold on hiring, so he worked a simple barista job while he waited until he finally got hired at a firehouse. Firehouse 118, to be specific. 

And Evan loves being a firefighter. He loves saving people and helping people. 

It can be dangerous, yes, but he makes sure to never do anything reckless because he’s got a son at home and a husband who will return home soon. 

So he can’t leave their son an orphan by dying on the job before Eddie can return home. 

He can’t die, period. He and Eddie plan to have a few more kids, and they can’t do that if Evan’s dead. 

Or should he say, Buck now, because that’s his new nickname that they gave him at the fire academy, because there were two other Evans there. 

Because even though his legal name now is Evan Diaz, he goes by Evan Buckley, and that’s how he got the nickname. 

Evan quite likes the nickname, Buck. He definitely prefers it over Evan. 

Well, Eddie still calls him Evan. No one else does, Buck has made sure of it. 

Also, none of his coworkers know about Eddie or Chris. 

It is in his file, well, just Chris is. Also, in his file, his name is written down as Evan Buckley instead of Evan Diaz. He couldn’t bear to do it. He can’t. Not until Eddie’s home. 

He loves being Evan Diaz. But he can’t until his husband is home. 

He couldn’t take Bobby coming to him and talking to him, or the knowing looks from the captain when the team tries to pry out information from him about his love life. 

He doesn’t want to talk about it with anyone but his family. 

That’s what Pepa and Abuela are for. He talks to them about it, and Christopher, when he wants to talk about it, because it’s hard on Chris, too.

Buck knows it’s hard on Eddie as well, having to watch their baby grow up through video calls. 

Luckily, that won’t be for much longer. 

And something Buck hasn’t told Eddie yet is that he’s ready for more kids. 

After Chris, he wasn’t ready. Because he blamed himself—still sorta does—for Chris’s CP for so long. He couldn’t bear to have another kid and give them some sort of disability, too. 

But Chris is so strong, he doesn’t let his CP stop him; he’s such an amazing kid. 

Buck is ready now, after seven long years, he’s ready. He misses it, being pregnant. Eddie was such a doting fiancé/husband the whole time. Buck loves Eddie so much. 

Once Eddie’s home, and as soon as Buck tells Eddie they’re going to be trying for a kid pretty quickly, he knows Eddie is going to be very excited and anxious to start trying. 

Buck can’t wait. 

It’s another thing to look forward to when his husband returns home. For good. 

+++

Buck swears that he likes his coworkers at the firehouse. They’re really nice and fun to talk to. 

He just wishes they’d stop asking about his personal life after he has repeatedly told them that he doesn’t want to talk about it, because they don’t stop doing it. 

Especially today. 

They just got back from a call from a bar. A country bar, more specifically. Full of drunk women and men. 

People were attaching themselves to Buck like fucking leeches. 

He told everyone—after prying them off him—that, respectfully, he was not interested at all. 

He is bisexual, but he’s very happily married to the love of his life, thank you very much. They have a son together and have plans for more kids. 

He is not interested in anyone else by any means. Just Eddie. It’s been just Eddie for a long time, since the moment they met, he was committed for life. 

So now the team will not stop asking questions. 

“So, how many numbers did you get from your admirers, Buckley?” Chimney teases once they’re back in the engine, heading back to the station. 

Buck groans and rolls his eyes. “None. They’re not my type.” They’re not Eddie. 

“Who’s your type then, Buckaroo?” Hen asks with a big grin. Oh, yeah, that’s a new nickname he’s being called now. He doesn’t mind it.

Buck grumbles. “Why do you guys care?” Buck then has a thought. “Oh my God, I swear if you guys are trying to set me up again, I will murder all of you.”

Yeah, they tried to pull that move two weeks ago, and they promised they’d never do it again when Buck never showed up for the dates. They tried to set him up on three different dates with three different women because they don’t know he’s bisexual. Or married!

“Calm down, Buck,” Ravi interjects, holding his hands up like he’s surrendering. “We’re just curious.”

Buck gives in. “I’m bisexual, okay? But I’m not interested in anyone.” Besides Eddie, my husband, he is our son's second father. “So, please, no setting me up on dates anymore.”

Hen puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for telling us. And we promise we won’t. But we don’t want you to be lonely, probie.”

Buck sighs, groaning at the nickname. Ravi was their last probie, but once he became an official firefighter for the 118, Buck got hired onto the team as their newest probationary firefighter. “I really appreciate that. But believe me, I’m nowhere close to being lonely.”

And Buck is so glad. He’s got Carla, Pepa, Abuela, Chris, and soon he’ll have Eddie back. And he guesses these guys, too. Sometimes. 

“Got a girl…or a guy?”  Chim asks, trying to be sneaky. 

Buck gives the Asian the side-eye. “I’ve got both.”

“Oooooooooh!” Hen, Chim, and Ravi coos. 

“Oh my God! They’re my family. Not in the romantic sense, okay? I was just telling you all that I’m not alone.” I mean, he does have a literal husband, not that he’s going to tell them. At least until Eddie’s home, anyway, then he might. 

“We’re glad for you, Buck,” Bobby says from the front passenger seat, looking back at his team. 

Buck smiles at them all. “Thank you. Now, no more questions about my love life or family, okay?”

“Deal.” Everyone echoes.  

Buck shouldn't have gotten his hopes up that it would be the last time they asked. 

+++

A Few Days Later

Hen, Chim, and Buck are sitting at the dining table up on the loft. Buck’s on his phone, texting with Carla Price, Chris’s caretaker. 

She’s a literal lifesaver. She takes the stress away from Buck because he’s always worrying about his baby, but with her help, his stress levels have dropped significantly. 

Carla: Just got back home with Chris. 

He’s finishing up his homework so you two can have that fun-filled weekend you two have been talking about forever. ❤️

Buck cannot help the smile that spreads across his face as the team is chatting. 

“So, Chim,” Hen calls from across the dining table. “What are your plans for this weekend?”

Buck then types out a message to send to Carla. 

Buck: you’re the best! ☺️ 

thank you!!!

tell my baby that his daddy loves him so much! ❤️

“Going out, doing whatever the hell I want now that I’m no longer with Tatiana,” Chim replies as Buck hits send. 

“Thank God,” Ravi exhales from the sofa.

“Yeah, yeah, get your jokes out now,” Chim grumbles. “What about you, Hen? What will you and the wife be up to this weekend?”

Hen smiles fondly at the mention of her wife, Karen. “We’ll be spending time with Denny. We don’t really have any plans. We were just going to play it by ear.”

Buck’s phone then vibrates with three messages back-to-back. 

Carla: I love you too daddy!!! So sososososososo much!!!!

This is Chris by the way. 

Hi daddy!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Buck nearly tears up. He loves his baby so much. 

Buck: hi, baby. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

you be good for carla and pepa, okay? i’ll see you tomorrow morning. 

Carla watches Chris during the day after picking him up from school, while Pepa—and sometimes Abuela, too—watches Chris overnight so they aren’t too stressed or overexerted from having to watch over a seven-year-old with a very active mind—like his Daddy, Eddie always says. 

Fuuuuuck. Buck misses his husband so much. 

Carla: Chris says he can’t wait. And he’s asking if he can sleep in your bed tonight. (Like he usually does.)

“Nice. Oh, to be happily in love with a kid,” Chim says dreamily, replying to Hen. 

As someone who’s living the lifestyle, Buck would highly recommend it, and it will get even better for Buck and Chris once Eddie’s home in a few months, but still, 10/10 would recommend. Just keep them away from military service. It’s too painful. Some people can make do with it, but Buck cannot. He and Eddie are too codependent for this. 

“What about you, Rav?!” Chim shouts to the younger man, who is still sitting on the sofa. 

“Go out with my friends, getting hammered,” Ravi says with a shrug and a smile, getting off the couch to join the team at the dining table. 

Buck ignores them and focuses on Carla and his son. 

Buck: of course he can. 

i never mind it. 

make sure you let him know that. 

Carla responds instantly.

Carla: I did. Don’t worry, he knows, and he says that he plans on doing it all the time. Stay safe, Buckaroo. We love you. 

Buck: i’m glad. I love it when he does it. 

god, you’re the best carla. love you both. ❤️

Carla quickly responds with a heart emoji and four cute pictures of Chris smiling up at the camera. Buck instantly saves all four pictures to his camera roll. 

God, Buck loves his baby so fucking much. 

Hen snorts as Chim says, “Sounds about right for you, Ravioli.” 

Ravi responds with an eye roll at the nickname, getting Chim to laugh louder. Chim’s the one who came up with that nickname for Ravi when he was a probie. 

“How about you, Buckaroo?” Hen asks, but Buck doesn’t say anything; he’s too busy staring at cute pictures of his son. “Buck?”

Buck looks up, and over at her, brows furrowed. “Huh? Wha?”

“What are you going to be up to this weekend?” she asks again.

“Oh, uh, spending time with my family,” the blonde says with a fond smile. 

The entire weekend, Buck and Chris will be spending time together. Doing things like going out to the zoo, aquarium, Griffith Observatory, the Natural History Museum, and any other place that he and Chris want to go to over the course of the next 48 hours. 

Buck can’t wait. He misses spending time with his baby. 

Well, not just Chris. Eddie too. God, he misses his husband like a goddamn limb. 

“That’s nice,” Hen says with a kind smile. 

“Family in town for a visit or something?” Chim asks, curiously. 

“None of your business,” Buck deadpans, pocketing his phone. 

“Oh come on, man,” Ravi says, attempting to lighten the mood. 

“I already told you what I'm doing. Isn’t that enough? I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I have told you guys this before.”

“We just want you to be comfortable around us, Buckaroo,” Hen jumps in. 

“I know.” And he is comfortable around them, but he just doesn’t want to talk about his family with them. “I am comfortable around you guys. You guys are my friends, of course, I’m comfortable around you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an important call to make.” Buck then gets up from his chair, makes his way downstairs to the locker room, and FaceTimes Carla. 

He wants to say goodnight to his baby. 

“Hey, Buckaroo!” Carla greets with a big smile. 

“Hey, Carla,” Buck says with a smile. 

“Chris, c’mere!” Carla calls before returning her attention to Buck. “How is your shift going so far?”

“Slow. So glad it’s almost over. I miss my Superman.”

Carla grins, then Chris comes into view, his little face lighting up once he sees what Carla called him in for. 

“Daddy!” Chris exclaims, smiling. 

Buck’s gaze softens. “Hey, baby. How’s the homework coming?”

“Almost done,” Chris beams. “Then we can do everything we wanted to this weekend!”

Buck smiles widely. “I’m so excited, baby.”

“Me too, Daddy!” Chris cheers. 

“I love you so much, Christopher.”

“I love you too, Daddy. Papa too.”

Fuck. Buck cannot cry. Not in front of his baby. “He loves you, too.”

“He loves us!”

Don't cry. Don’t cry. Don't cry. “He sure does, baby.”

Then the alarm sounds off.

“I gotta go, baby. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Can’t wait! Love you, Daddy!”

“Love you too, Superman.”

Buck then hangs up and pockets his phone, running to the engine. 

He can’t wait to come home to his son and spend an entire weekend with him. 

Work has been crazy, and he hasn’t been able to do that these past couple of weeks. 

Buck can’t wait. 

+++

No one else tries to pry for information for the rest of the shift. 

Thank God. 

Buck is in no mood to talk to them about it. 

He doesn’t mind talking to them about things like movies, TV, video games, and random facts. It doesn’t matter what it is, he’ll talk to them, unless they ask about his family or love life. 

It’s none of their business. Plus, it’s too painful to talk about. It crushes him to even think about it. About how far away the love of his life is, how Eddie’s fighting for their country, fighting to stay alive, fighting to come home. 

Now the team is in the locker room, changing into their civilian clothes, packing up their duffel bags. 

Buck is so ready to get home and fall asleep in his bed next to his son. 

Buck says his goodbyes to everyone, then speed walks to his Jeep in the parking lot, and then he drives home to South Bedford Street. Home sweet home. 

Buck instantly spots Pepa as soon as he pulls into the driveway; she’s drinking coffee on the front porch in one of the rocking chairs that Buck and Eddie put there. Buck loves sitting in Eddie’s lap in those chairs. He loves sitting in Eddie’s lap anywhere, and he loves it when Eddie sits in his lap. 

God, he misses Eddie so much. 

The two embrace, exchanging a few words before she heads out, telling him that she and Abuela will be coming over on Sunday for lunch. 

Buck can’t wait. He loves their cooking. They’ve actually been teaching him for years on how to make all sorts of different dishes. Bobby’s been teaching him, too. He’s been learning to make Mexican dishes—Pepa and Abuela’s influence—along with other basic foods and other delicious recipes—Bobby’s influence. 

Buck loves cooking and baking. He wasn’t in the kitchen much as a kid because he would literally burn anything he touched. But now, he’s practically an expert—or at least somewhat close to one, he thinks.

Buck quietly locks the front door behind him, then carefully sets his duffel down, kicks his shoes off, puts them in their spot on the shoe rack, and then hangs up his keys on the rack on the hook that has an “Ev” below it. 

The hook with a big “E” under it remains empty. And it will until Eddie comes back home. 

Buck tiptoes down the hallway now, heading to the master bedroom. 

Buck opens the bedroom door gently, closing it behind him with a soft click. Then he turns and looks at the bed, seeing a lump in it.

There’s my baby, Buck says to himself, watching Chris sleep for a minute before changing into a pair of Eddie’s sweatpants and an old Army hoodie from boot camp. 

He feels like he’s wrapped in a warm Eddie hug, surrounded by Eddie’s clothes and scent. 

It feels so nice. He needed this. Plus, he runs cold, Chris too. So they’ll get to snuggle in the comforting smell of Eddie.

Buck climbs into the bed on his side, setting an alarm for 11 am for them to wake up and have brunch. It’ll be too late for breakfast and too early for lunch by then.

Buck plugs his phone up to the charger resting on the nightstand, then he slides closer to Chris, resting his head on his pillow, reaching a hand out to hold his son in his arms. 

Chris wakes at that, his eyes only half-open, smiling sleepily. “Hi, Daddy.”

Buck can’t help the grin on his face. “Hi, baby. Missed you.”

Chris snuggles closer, tucking his head under Buck’s chin. “Missed you too, Daddy.”

Buck kisses Chris’s ruffled curls, gently rubbing his back. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’ve got an alarm set to wake us up later.”

“M’kay. Night, Daddy.”

“Night, baby.”

The two fall asleep less than five minutes later, not waking until the alarm goes off three hours later. 

This is going to be a fun weekend, Buck’s loving it already as he and Chris cook their food together. 

Chris has long deemed himself Buck’s sous chef, and he is quite the helper.

Buck loves him so much.

+++

2 Days Later

Buck and Chris have been all over the city of LA this weekend. It has been a blast. 

But sadly, that has come to an end tonight because Chris has got to go back to school tomorrow, and Buck has an upcoming twenty-four-hour shift tomorrow. (He has Bobby only put him in for twenty-four-hour shifts. Only if they need an extra hand, he works forty-eight-hour shifts. Carla and Pepa usually have to figure out a plan to watch Chris until Buck comes home if he works a 48-hour shift. Which Buck hates to force them to do. Hence, why he requests to only work twenty-four-hour shifts.)

So now that the two are back home, they’re getting cleaned up, getting into their pajamas so they can watch a movie together before bed. 

Buck is getting the couch, snacks, and movie ready while Chris is getting dressed, when the computer set up on the desk against the wall suddenly lights up with a Skype call. 

Oh my God. Eddie!

Buck scrambles over to the desk and answers the call, sitting down in the chair, trying not to act like he just sprinted across the living room to answer the call. 

Seconds later, Eddie’s beautiful—slightly grainy—face lights up the screen. 

“Eddie!” Buck can’t help but shout lovesickly, a big grin creeping onto his face, still catching his breath. 

Eddie smiles, chuckling softly. “Hey, Ev.”

“Hi, Eds,” Buck says, calmer now, heart racing, waving at the camera. 

Eddie waves back. “Tell me everything. How’s work? Did you and Chris finally get to have that fun-filled weekend you guys have been talking about forever?”

Buck smiles and nods. “Yeah. We did. We went to the zoo, aquarium, Griffith Observatory, and all sorts of museums this weekend. It was so fun, Eds,” Buck explains. “It would’ve been so much better if you were there too.”

Eddie tears up. “Yeah, I agree. But I’m glad you two had a good time. I know in your last letter you said work has been a lot lately, and it was hard to spend full days with Chris.”

Buck nods, eyes glossing over. “Yeah,” he squeaks. “But it’s better now. They got a filler to cover for Henderson. Turns out his arm got pretty badly dislocated during a fire rescue. They got the official diagnosis, and it’ll be at least a month, maybe two.”

“Damn.”

Buck snorts. “Yeah.”

There’s silence for a few seconds before Buck says, his shoulders slumping, “I miss you.”

Eddie has to take a breath before he breaks down crying. “I miss you too, mi amor. So much. I miss you and our baby so goddamn much that everyone is getting sick of me talking about you two.”

Buck laughs wetly, wiping away the fallen tears. “Carla says the same thing to me.”

Eddie smiles. “I can’t wait until I’m home, baby.”

“Me neither. Only ten months to go, Eds.”

“Then I’m never leaving either of you again. I promise,” Eddie vows, placing a hand over his heart, where his St. Christopher medallion and wedding ring rest. 

“I can’t wait,” Buck nearly sobs out. “It’s been so hard without you, Eds.”

“I know,” Eddie sniffles. “It’s been so hard for me, too. But we’re almost there.”

Buck nods, using both of his palms to wipe the tears away from his eyes. “Plus, the insurance and medical plans are great for Chris.”

Eddie chuckles softly. “Oh, yeah. And we’ll be able to keep the plans once I’m home.”

“Thank God,” Buck breathes out in relief. 

Eddie laughs, and Buck too. God, it feels so good to laugh with his husband again. 

“How often do you think you’ll be able to call until you’re back?” Buck asks curiously. 

“Not sure yet. Once a month, as usual, for now. It might change. And I’ll let you know if it does.”

Buck nods. “Stay safe, please.”

“Always.”

“Daddy, I’m ready!” Chris shouts from the hall, making his way towards the living room. 

Eddie breaks out into a teary smile at the sound of their son’s voice. “Chris,” the brunette exhales. 

Buck nods, not looking away from the screen. “C’mere, baby. Someone special wants to say hi.”

Chris stands a few feet away from Buck. “Who?”

“Hello, mijo,” Eddie says, quickly getting Chris’s attention. 

Chris gasps, his whole face lighting up. “Papa!” 

Buck smiles, holding his arms out for Chris to take. 

The boy runs for his Daddy. 

Buck picks Chris up and places his son in his lap, both of them smiling at the screen at Eddie. 

“Papa!” Chris says again, waving at Eddie with a ginormous smile. 

“Hey, mijo,” Eddie says back, trying his very best to hold in the tears, waving to Chris. “Heard you and Daddy had a fun weekend.”

“It was the best, Papa! When you come home, we need to do it all over again, but together this time.”

Fuck. Buck and Eddie are about to cry all over again. 

“That sounds great, Chris. I’d love to.”

“Me too,” Buck chimes in, pressing his cheek to one of Chris’s. 

Chris giggles at that, his cheeks turning a light pink. 

Eddie suddenly turns and talks to someone behind him, quickly looking back at his boys with a sad expression. 

“I gotta go. I love you both.”

“Love you too, Papa!”

“Love you, Eds. Stay safe, come home.”

“Always.” And Eddie means that with every fiber of his being. 

Then the screen turns black. 

Buck has to hold in the tears. 

“When will Papa finally be home, Daddy?”

“Still got a few more months, baby. Won't be too much longer now.”

“Good. Can we watch the movie now?”

“Of course. C’mon.” 

Buck stands from the desk chair, holding Chris in his arms, carrying him over to the sofa, playfully tossing him down on it, getting the boy to laugh loudly. 

Buck doesn’t cry until he’s alone in his and Eddie’s bed, holding his St. Christopher medallion to his lips, kissing it and his wedding ring. (Eddie gave Buck that medallion three months after Chris was born, so Buck could always hold his boys close, too.)

“Please, keep him safe and let him come home,” Buck prays to a God he never believed in before falling asleep on Eddie’s pillow—that doesn’t smell much like Eddie anymore—it held tightly in his arms. 

Buck needs Eddie to come home; he can’t live life without him anymore. It’s wrong. Eddie’s too far away. Buck fucking hates it. 

+++

November 3, 2018

When Buck walks into the station today, he wishes he could just turn around and go back. He’s not in the mood to chat with anyone or do anything but cry the day away. 

He and Eddie had a short Skype call last night. Buck told Eddie all about their Halloween with the 118 and how fun it was, and Buck cannot do this anymore; it’s killing him inside to be this far apart from his husband. 

He misses his husband so goddamn much. He’s too tired to pretend everything is okay today. He’s just so goddamn exhausted today. Physically and mentally. 

Honestly, he feels like absolute shit. 

Everyone clocks him immediately, as soon as he steps up to the loft, they spot his sad expression. 

“You okay, Buck?” Hen asks in a very big-sisterly way. 

Buck only answers with a nod, walking straight to the coffee machine. 

Buck is so glad that someone already had a batch made, so all he had to do was fill a mug and walk away, to the sofa, plopping right down on it with a long sigh. 

“You sure you’re okay, Buckaroo?” Chimney asks.

“Yeah, you seem…tired,” Ravi says. 

He is. He’s so tired and wants his husband home, instead of being thousands of miles away. 

Buck nods as he sips his coffee, not giving them a verbal response. He’s too tired and depressed to provide them with one. 

“Buck,” Bobby calls from the kitchen. “Want to help me make breakfast?”

Buck loves making food with Bobby. It’s like cooking with the dad he wishes he had. 

But not today. 

“I’m good, Bobby. Thanks, though.”

Bobby is taken aback. Buck never says no to making food with him. “You sure you’re okay, Buck?”

He shrugs. “Just tired is all.” Then he goes back to sipping the coffee. 

“Offer still stands,” Bobby offers as he begins to make omelets for everyone. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles. 

Buck never takes Bobby up on his offer. He just sips his coffee and scrolls on his phone. 

Buck stays quie—keeps to himself—the whole shift. He may feel like shit, but his brain is working enough to not say the q-word outloud and doom the rest of his shift; he’s tired enough, thank you very much. 

He’s not in the mood to do anything, really. He just wants to sulk in the corner. 

It makes it worse that he’s working forty-eight hours today. 

But he’s going to get through it. Caffeine and adrenaline are the only things that are going to help him get through this shift.

+++

Buck is now sitting at the dining table, snacking on some crackers from the pantry, sipping some soda, and scrolling on his phone. It’s almost the time when Carla texts him that she’s now at the house with Chris, having successfully picked him up from school. 

It should be less than ten minutes or so now. 

“Buckaroo, someone’s here for you,” Chim calls, walking up the stairs. 

“Huh?” Buck mumbles through a bite of cracker, looking over his shoulder. “Who?”

“Someone who claims to be your sister.”

Buck’s eyebrows jump up as he swallows the cracker in his mouth. “Thanks. I’ll go check it out.”

Chim nods, walking over to the fridge to get a drink.

He was worried that it was someone saying something horrible had happened to Eddie. 

But this?

He never expected this.

He hasn’t seen his sister in years, and now she’s here? No, it can’t be. It’s gotta be something else. 

Buck heads for the stairs, making his way down, then he sees her. 

“Maddie!” Buck yells, sprinting towards her. 

“Evan!” She beams with a smile after he shouts her name. 

She looks so much older now. He hasn’t seen her in a little over a decade. They’ve written to each other many times. But it’s been three years since he’s gotten a letter from her, probably because of Doug. Buck always updates her if he moves somewhere else, and well, it seems she found him. 

Buck hugs her tightly, never wanting to let her go. 

“H-how are you here?” Buck stutters, finally pulling back from the embrace. 

“I left him, Evan. I divorced him and signed a restraining order against him. He can’t even be in the same state as me without being immediately arrested.”

“Oh my God,” Buck breathes out, smiling, yanking her in for another hug. “He’s never going to hurt you again, Mads. I’ll make sure of it.”

She nods at the nape of his neck. “I know.”

They pull back from the embrace. 

“I really missed you, Mads.”

“I missed you, too, Evan.”

“Oh, it’s uh, Buck now. Nickname from the academy.”

She smiles. “Oh, yeah. I remember you told me that in your letter. I like it. Suits you.”

Buck grins bashfully. So she did get his letters…damn you, Doug. “Yeah, I think so too. Eddie still calls me Evan, though.”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Lovesick dorks.”

“Hey! Rude! We take offense to that.”

Maddie laughs. 

“Buck, who is this lovely lady?” Chimney asks, slapping his shoulder, looking right at Maddie. He must’ve heard the commotion upstairs and decided to get in on the drama. God, everyone here at the 118 is so nosy.

Maddie blushes, tucking her hair behind her ear. “M-Maddie Ken—Buckley. Maddie Buckley.” Right..she’s no longer Maddie Kendall. Doug’s gone from her life forever. He’ll never bother her again. 

“Nice to meet you. My name's Howard Han, but you can call me Chimney.”

Maddie cocks her head in confusion. “Chimney?”

“Don’t ask,” Buck jumps in. “I don’t even know what it means. And I don’t want to know.”

Maddie chuckles, shaking Chimney’s hand. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Chimney.”

“How do you know our Buckaroo?”

“I’m his older sister,” Maddie replies. 

“No. You are waaaay too beautiful to be related to him.”

“I’m standing right here,” Buck weakly defends. 

Maddie snorts, blushing.

“Maddie, you are way too good for him. Ignore him,” Buck jumps in. 

“Ouch!” Chimney yells. “I’m just complimenting this very beautiful woman who is most definitely lying about being related to you.”

“She is my sister, Chim.”

“You have a sister?” Hen asks, walking over to them, Ravi right behind her. 

“Yeah,” Buck squeaks. “We haven’t seen each other in years, actually. It's been a little over a decade now.” He left home when he was eighteen; that was the last time he saw her. She gave him her Jeep, and he drove and drove, somehow ending up in El Paso, where he met his future husband, and second father to their son.

“Wow,” Hen says, making her way over to them, Ravi following her. “Nice to meet you. My name’s Henrietta, but please, call me Hen.”

“Nice to meet you,” Maddie says with a smile, then she looks at Ravi.

“Hi. I’m Ravi.”

“Nice to meet you all. I’m Maddie Buckley.”

“Nice to meet you, Maddie,” Bobby says, just a few feet away, closing the distance. “Name’s Bobby Nash. Welcome to Firehouse 118.”

Maddie smiles. “Thank you. You guys are really nice.”

“They’re not that nice,” Buck teases, getting her to laugh. 

“Why don’t you take her home, Buck? I’ll call in a sub. Have a nice day with your sister and catch up,” Bobby offers. 

“Really?” Bobby nods with a smile. “Thank you, Cap.”

Buck then runs to the locker room and grabs his stuff, taking less than a minute to gather everything, with a sudden burst of energy. His mood has completely flipped now that Maddie is here. 

“Ready, Mads?” Buck asks, throwing his bag over his shoulder. 

Maddie nods, handing Chimney back his phone. 

Oh my God. They exchanged numbers. 

Buck is going to put a stop to that as soon as possible. But that’ll be another day. Because he’s about to head home, and Carla and Chris are most definitely home by now. He’s too wired up to bother checking his phone, especially since he’ll be home soon. 

Buck can’t wait to see his baby. 

With a day like today, he needs his baby. And now Maddie can meet his baby. 

“Ready,” she smiles. “I’m so excited to finally see this house in person. The pictures were lovely, but I gotta see it with my own eyes.”

Buck beams. “Yeah? Well, it’s perfect, and I can’t wait for you to see it. C’mon. There’s someone I want you to meet.”

He hasn’t told her about Chris yet. He really didn’t know how to bring up that he could get pregnant and have a baby in a written letter. He was saving it for an in-person conversation…hoping that one day it would happen. And today it is. 

“Who, your husband?”

Buck smiles and shakes his head. “Nope. He’s still away in Afghanistan.” But not for too much longer! “Someone else, who’s extra special. You’ll love him. He’ll be very excited to meet you.”

She’s confused but follows him to the Jeep, carrying her only suitcase with her. She nearly cries when she sees it, how well-kept it is.

“You kept it? All these years?”

Buck nods. “Oh, yeah. I’m going to be driving her until she physically can’t go anymore.”

Maddie smiles. “That’s why I gave her to you. Knew you’d take good care of her, and so you could get away.”

“I know.” Buck smiles and puts the Jeep in drive. 

Buck and Maddie sing bad car karaoke with the windows down the whole ride home to South Bedford Street. 

And Buck was right, Carla and Chris are here. Her car is parked in the usual spot in the driveway. 

“Perfect. He’s here. C’mon.”

Maddie’s brows furrow. Who the hell is this “he”? Maddie knows Evan would never cheat on Eddie, nor would Eddie ever cheat on Evan. Even though she’s never met him, she knows he wouldn’t, so who is “he”?

She trusts Evan. She really does. 

Maddie just seriously hopes that he didn’t do something stupid. 

Buck flips the Jeep off, then the two climb out and carry their bags into the house. 

As soon as the front door shuts behind them, Buck calls out, “I’m home! Where’s my Superman?”

“Daddy!” He hears Chris shout, clearly in the dining room, definitely working on homework. 

Buck sets his bag down and kicks his shoes off right as Chris comes hobbling around the corner. 

“You’re home early,” Chris says with a smile, using the wall for support as he walks over to Buck, since he didn’t grab his crutches.

“Surprise!” Then Buck yanks his baby into a tight hug, picking him up, holding Chris in his arms, kissing the boy’s curls. 

Chris wraps his arms around Buck’s neck, giggling. “I missed you, Daddy.”

“Hmmm,” Buck hums with a smile. “I missed you, too, baby.”

Chris then sees a woman he’s never seen before watching them from the front door. “Who’s that, Daddy?” He asks, pointing to Maddie. 

Buck spins them around, resting Chris against his hip, facing Maddie. “That is my big sister, Maddie.”

Chris gasps. “I have an Aunt?!?” 

Technically, Chris has three, but Eddie isn’t super close with his two little sisters, Adrianna and Sophia, who are still in Texas. Buck has met them a few times, back when they lived in Texas. They’re nice. They liked him well enough, and he liked them too. 

He and Eddie haven’t seen them in years, not since they moved to Los Angeles. 

“You sure do, baby,” Buck chirps. 

“Hi, Aunt Maddie,” Chris greets with a precious smile, waving to her. 

“Hi,” Maddie greets nervously, waving stiffly, stepping closer to them. 

Buck bounces Chris on his hip. “Maddie, this is mine and Eddie’s son, Christopher. Chris.”

She smiles at the boy. “Nice to meet you, Chris.”

Chris smiles back. “Nice to meet you, too, Aunt Maddie.”

Buck and Maddie nearly tear up at that. 

“Can…can I hold him?” Maddie asks, clearly nervous. 

Buck smiles, then he looks down at his son. “Wanna hang with your Aunt Maddie for a bit, baby?”

Chris nods, excitedly. “Yeah!”

Buck carefully hands Chris over to Maddie. 

“You’re heavy,” Maddie jokes, getting Chris to giggle. “Seems that firefighter strength comes in handy for your Dad to carry you, huh?”

Chris beams, chuckling lightly. “Wanna see my Legos? Daddy has bought me a whole collection!” Chris holds his hands up in the air in excitement. 

Maddie grins. “That sounds awesome! Where are they?”

“My room. I’ll show you.”

Maddie slowly sets him down, holding his hand, letting him guide her. 

“Want one of your crutches, Chris?” Buck asks. 

Chris shakes his head. “I’m okay.”

Buck bends down to kiss his son’s temple. “Where’s Carla at, baby?”

“She’s in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.” Buck ruffles Chris’s hair, getting his son to giggle, before he stands back up. “You guys shout if you need anything, okay?”

“We will,” Maddie says with a smile, giving him the “we’ll talk later” face. 

Buck knew that was coming. 

The blonde now heads into the kitchen and finds Carla making what is most likely going to be dinner tonight. 

Pepa and Abuela couldn’t watch Chris tonight because they had a wedding to attend—Pepa’s third cousin or something like that—and they’ll be back in town in a few days, so Carla was going to stay the night with Chris, and sleep in the guest room, until Buck was supposed to come back tomorrow morning. 

The plans have now changed because Maddie is here. 

“Oh my, Buckaroo! I didn't know you were home!” Carla greets when Buck walks through the kitchen door, hanging up with whoever she was on the phone with. Which is most likely why she didn’t hear Buck come in. 

Buck smiles sheepishly. “Yeah. It was kind of a last-minute thing. My sister is here. She left her husband and is going to be crashing here for a while. Bobby let me leave early.”

Carla grins happily. “Oh, my God! That’s wonderful, Buckaroo! I’m so glad! I know you’ve been worried about her for a while now.”

Buck loves her so much and pulls her in for a hug. “You’re a literal saint, Carla.”

She pats his back before they pull away. “Well, I don’t know about that, but thank you. Now, where is this sister of yours? I must meet her.”

Buck smiles. “She’s with her nephew. He’s showing her his Lego collection.”

Carla grins. “How sweet. Well, you just go have fun with them, and I’ll finish this up for you three tonight. My husband will be very happy to know I’m going to be home tonight.”

Buck frowns. “I’m sorry that you were going to have to stay here instead of being home with him.” 

“Oh, honey,” she swats the air with her free hand; the other is stirring whatever is in the pot on the stove. God, it smells so good. Buck can’t wait to eat it. “It’s never a bother to watch over your boy. He’s one of the best parts of my day. Now you go, have some family time. I know it’s hard without Eddie, so maybe Maddie will help bring you some of that light back into your life until Eddie comes home.”

Buck is so grateful for this woman. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?”

“Not enough,” she teases. 

Buck laughs. “Love you, Carla.”

“Love you too, Buckaroo.

Buck kisses her cheek and then heads to Chris’s room to find him on the floor with Maddie, playing with his Lego sets at his toy table. 

Buck knocks on the doorframe, getting their attention. “What’re you two up to in here?”

Chris turns and looks at Buck with a grin. “Playing with Aunt Maddie. She’s so cool, Daddy!”

Maddie kisses Chris’s head. “You’re pretty cool too, Chris.”

Chris beams. 

“Oh, he’s the coolest,” Buck emphasizes, walking over to them. “Maddie too.”

Chris nods firmly. “Wanna play with us, Daddy?”

“Oh, yeah. Let me get in on the fun.”

Buck sits next to Chris, leaving the boy between Maddie and Buck. 

They play for nearly two hours before Carla wanders into Chris’s room, knocking on the doorframe to announce her presence. 

“I’m heading home, boys. The food is in the fridge for you guys to eat whenever you want to.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Buck says, getting up off the floor to walk to her to hug her in thanks. “Carla, I want you to meet my big sister, Maddie.” He gestures to Maddie, who’s getting up off the floor, walking over to greet Carla. 

“Maddie, this is Carla, Chris’s caretaker and my best friend. Besides Chris and Eddie.”

Carla rolls her eyes and hugs Maddie. “It’s nice to finally meet you."

“It’s nice to meet you, too.”

Chris hobbles over to Carla now. “Bye, Carla.”

“Bye, kiddo,” she says with a smile, squatting down to give the boy a bone-crushing hug and a big kiss on his forehead. “Be good.”

“Always.”

Carla smiles, then rises to kiss Buck's cheek, and then she leaves to go home to her husband. 

Shortly after, Maddie, Buck, and Chris have dinner together and eat the delicious food Carla made for them.

After dinner, Buck and Maddie head into the living room for that “talk” while Chris finishes up his homework in the dining room. 

“Shout if you need anything, baby,” Buck says, kissing Chris’s temple. “Your Aunt Maddie and I will be right in the living room if you need us, okay?”

“M’kay, Daddy. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Buck then pulls Maddie with him to the couch in the living room before he decides to stick with Chris for the rest of the day. He loves his baby so much that he doesn’t like to be apart from him if he doesn’t have to. 

“Sooo…I guess I should explain.”

“Yeah, you should,” Maddie chuckles. “He looks so much like you.”

Buck blushes. “Yeah…Eddie’s genes did not win with this one.” Buck hopes their next baby looks more like Eddie. God, they would be so cute. 

Chris is like Eddie with his attitude and like Buck with his looks, curiosity to learn, and his mind. Buck wants a baby—a girl, more specifically—that has Eddie’s brown, floppy hair and honey-brown eyes. 

Maddie’s brows lower in confusion. 

Buck clears the air. “Okay, so Chris is mine and Eddie’s.”

Maddie nods. “You said earlier.”

“Right…,” Buck lets out a long breath. “Turns out that I can get pregnant. I have the carrier gene. So he’s literally mine and Eddie’s, not a surrogate kid—which is what we were going to do before we found out about Chris—or a kid I had with a random woman. He’s ours, through and through.”

“Oh.” Maddie’s eyes bulge out. “Wow…”

“Yeah.” Buck scratches the back of his neck. “He’s seven. He was a surprise for both of us. But he’s the best kid in the whole world.”

“He really is. You guys have done a good job, Buck.”

Buck blushes. “Thanks, Mads.”

“Soooo,” Maddie begins, a curious look in her eyes. “Have you guys thought about having more kids?”

Buck’s face falls.

Maddie is put on immediate alert and places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

Buck sniffles and wipes his nose. “Y-yeah. It’s just…for the longest time, I did not want to get pregnant again because I blamed myself for Chris’s CP.”

Maddie figured that’s what Chris had with how he was walking around. But she wasn’t going to say anything and assume. “Hey, that was not on you. If you remember, I was a nurse, and Cerebral Palsy is not something you can ever plan for. He’s the happiest kid in the world. It’s not on you that he got it. It’s just one of those things that happens.”

Buck starts crying. “He got it from when I gave birth to him, Mads. And I blamed myself for the longest time. Eddie has been so patient with me, saying that we’ll fill up all of the empty rooms one day with our kids and that it doesn’t have to be right away. And that it could wait until I was ready. Because we both knew that I’d want to carry more kids.”

Her gaze softens. “You just weren’t ready yet.”

Buck nods as he wipes his nose. “Yeah. A-and now I’m ready.”

Maddie smiles widely. “That’s great. I’m sure Eddie was delighted when you told him.”

Buck shakes his head. “I haven’t yet. I will once he’s home. He’s on his last tour, and he’ll be home in less than eight months.”

Maddie’s smile widens. “That's great! I’m so glad. I’m sure Chris is very excited.”

Buck nods with a smile. “Oh, yeah. I’m not sure who’s most excited, Chris or me.”

Maddie chuckles. “I’m very happy for you, Evan. You have finally got the family you deserved.”

Buck flushes. “Thanks, Mads. I hope that you can find a home here, too.”

Maddie’s cheeks turn immediately pink. 

“Oh, no,” Buck groans. “Not Chimney.”

She shrugs. “What? He’s really sweet and really cute.”

“Ugh,” Buck grumbles. “Fine. Guess I’ll allow it. But if he does anything. And I mean anything to hurt you,” Buck points to himself. “I get to kill him.”

Maddie snorts. “Sure, Evan. Whatever will make you happy. But I’m not rushing into anything, okay?”

Buck nods. “Okay. Just don’t hesitate to come to me.”

She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t mean anything by it. “You got it, Evan.”

“Also, you are more than welcome to stay here until you get back on your feet, Mads.”

She smiles. “That would actually be great.”

Buck takes a breath of relief. “Good. I’m glad Eddie and I kept a guest bedroom furnished. Because the other two bedrooms are empty.”

“Ready for those other kids, huh?”

Buck giggles. “Yeahhhh. I literally cannot wait until Eddie comes home. I’ve been preparing. I’ve stopped taking my birth control. I did as soon as I decided I was ready.” Maddie gives him a look, and he holds his hands up. “I talked to my OBGYN first, Mads. I promise.”

“Whew.” She takes a breath of relief. “That’s good.”

“Yeah. I’m very excited to tell Eddie. He was here four months ago. But I didn’t tell him yet. I was just beginning to wean myself off my birth control.”

She smiles. “Eddie is going to freak out. I’ve never met the guy, but I can tell you right now that he’s going to freak out. But in a good way.”

Buck huffs, rolling his eyes. “Oh, yeah. He’s going to go crazy. And try to make a baby with me  immediately.”

Maddie scrunches her nose. “Ew.”

Buck busts out laughing. “Hey, I’m just being honest.”

“Keep that type of honesty to yourself.”

Buck snorts. “Noted…and now I’m thinking about it.” Buck’s face then turns pink, imagining Eddie pounding him down into their mattress, whispering sweet and dirty things into his ear, promising to knock him up with a baby. 

Maddie playfully shoves his shoulders, getting him to laugh, snapping him out of his trance. 

“Well, I will make sure to be moved out by then because, ewww.”

“Eight months,” he reminds her, playfully. 

“Yeah, I’ll make sure not to forget that.”

“Daddy! I’m donnnnne,” Chris calls, walking into the living room. 

Buck turns to his son with a kind smile. “Want me to check it for you, baby?”

Chris nods, climbing into Buck’s lap. “Yeah. Then can we watch a movie?”

“That sounds great,” Buck replies, wrapping his arms around his baby, turning his head to look over at his sister. “What do you think, Mads?”

“I think it sounds super fun!” She beams. “But I would like to shower first, then I’m all in.”

Buck stands from the couch, his son in his arms. “I’ll show you the way.”

Maddie runs to grab her bag that still rests by the front door, kicks her shoes off, and places them next to the shoe rack, then she follows Buck down the hall to the guest bedroom, which has only a bed, two nightstands, a dresser, and a mirror. It’s very bare. 

“The guest bathroom is right across the hall. So you can shower there before we watch something. And all of the towels and rags are under the sink. Do you need soap or shampoo, or anything?”

She shakes her head. “I’ve got those packed. I’m okay. I will need to go to the store tomorrow, though.”

“We can go after I drop this one off at school tomorrow morning.” Buck then bounces Chris on his hip, getting Chris to giggle, kissing his boy’s head. 

“Sounds good to me,” Maddie says with a nod. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Shout if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Buck heads out of the guest bedroom towards the living room, then to the dining room, sitting down on one of the chairs with Chris in his lap. 

“Let’s see how smart my baby is,” Buck teases, tickling Chris’s tummy, getting the boy to laugh loudly. 

“Daddy!” Chris cackles. 

Buck shoves his face in the crook of Chris’s neck, giving him tons of kisses. 

Buck stops tickling Chris and just hugs him tight, attacking him with kisses. 

“I love you so much, baby.”

Chris giggles. “Love you too, Daddy.”

Buck then looks over the little bit of homework Chris has; only a few minor fixes need to be done, because this kid is practically a genius, then they put the papers in Chris’s backpack so they can’t be forgotten. 

“Do you want to take a bath before we watch a movie, baby?”

Chris nods. 

“Okay, then. Let’s get you all cleaned up.”

Buck helps Chris take a bath, then helps get his son into some adorable dinosaur pajamas before Buck changes his clothes into something more comfortable than his work uniform. 

By the time they’re both done, Maddie has finished her shower and is making her way into the living room, breaking up another tickle attack. 

“Are we ready, boys?” Maddie asks.

“Yeah!” Chris cheers. 

Buck loves his son so much. 

+++

The next morning, after Buck drops Chris off at school, Maddie in the passenger seat, they head to the convenience store to let Maddie stock up on stuff for herself while Buck gets everything on his grocery list that he made last night after he put Chris to bed. 

Buck and Maddie have been catching up on everything that they didn’t write in their letters while they walk around the store, each of them pushing a shopping cart around. 

It’s nice, Buck has really missed this. Missed her. 

She practically raised him, and he misses having her around. She always made him feel safe growing up in their toxic household. 

“So I was doing some research last night on a job,” Maddie tells him. 

Buck’s brows jump up. “Oh?”

“I don’t want to be a nurse anymore. I’ve been thinking about being a 911 dispatcher. Because I still want to help people.”

Buck smiles. “That sounds amazing, Mads. You’d be so great at that.”

She looks up at him gratefully. “I think I’ll wait a while. I don’t know.”

“There’s no rush, Mads. Do whatever you want to do. I’ll support you no matter what.”

She hugs him. “Thank you, Evan… Buck… Sorry.”

“No. It’s okay. I don’t mind. I only let you and Eddie call me Evan, anyway. Do whichever makes you most comfortable.”

“Thank you, Evan. Is there anything else you need? I’m all done.”

“Just produce, then I’m all good.”

“I’ll follow you.”

Buck needed this. She’s going to help him get through these next eight months because he really can’t do it alone—not that he’s alone, but without extra support. And who better than his big sister?

Buck can’t wait to write to Eddie about this. 

+++

When Buck and Maddie get home, Buck puts everything up while Maddie gets settled into her room since she didn’t last night because she was exhausted by the time they finished the movie. 

Once Buck has finished putting away the groceries, he heads to the desk in the living room, where he always writes letters to Eddie, also where the computer is, to write a letter to Eddie to tell him about Maddie being here. 

He’s going to write a long one because their anniversary of when they first met in November is coming up very soon, and he wants it to reach Eddie on time. 

Buck writes for a little while, having to throw away a few copies because he wasn’t satisfied with the wording—not that Eddie would care, he just loves it when Evan writes to him, no matter how messy and “imperfect” the letter is. Eddie will love it no matter what.

Eds,

Hey, baby! :)

I miss you so so much. Chris too. But we’re getting by pretty well. Carla, Pepa, and Abuela are keeping us in check.

Also, something super cool happened...Maddie is here! She’s not in Hershey anymore! She’s in LA! It was such a big surprise, baby. I screamed her name so loud when I saw her. I’ve missed her so much. 

Miss you more, though ;)

She came to the firehouse to find me, and she’s living in the furnished guest room until she can get back on her feet. (The other bedrooms still remain empty for all of our future babies, I promise!!!)

Chris met her, and they get along so well, Eds. It’s so, so sweet. 

I can’t wait for you to meet her. 

And I can’t wait for you to be home. It’s been so hard without you. 

I also know it’s a bit early, but I wanted to make sure that this got to you in time. 

Happy Anniversary, Eddie!

Ten years of knowing you, loving you, and growing a family with you. 

It’s been the best ten years of my life, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you and our family. 

You are the love of my life, Edmundo Diaz, and I love you more and more every day. 

Thank you for loving me. 

Love you with all my heart,

Your husband, 

Evan Diaz

Buck smiles down at the paper. Yeah, he’s very satisfied with that. 

Buck then prepares an envelope with the address of all the letters he sends to Eddie, but he leaves it unsealed, because Chris likes to send stuff to Eddie, too. 

Plus, Buck wants to send Eddie some photos to keep close to him. Some old and some new to honor their anniversary. 

They have two anniversaries they celebrate. The day they met, November 12, 2008, and the day they got married, March 27, 2011, that was before it was actually legal, but they don’t care. That was the day they got married. (And then two years later, they officially got married, because it became legal.)

Both days were such good days. As was the day that their baby was born, June 14, 2011. 

Later that night, after Chris is home from school, Buck tells him that he’s going to send Papa a letter, so Chris quickly gets to writing a cute little letter for his Papa while Buck gathers up three photos for Eddie. 

The first photo is a semi-blurry selfie from the day that they first kissed in the pile of hay that Buck took on his old camera, which he sadly doesn’t have anymore. He used to carry it around and just take pictures around the ranch he worked, and would snap pictures of Eddie when the brunette wasn’t looking. The camera broke years ago. Buck has no clue if Eddie has ever seen this photo before; it was packed in an old box of photos, basically at the bottom of it, but Buck was determined to find it so Eddie could have it. Buck did make sure to get multiple copies of each photo from his old camera in case of any sort of accident. (He’s clumsy, okay?)

The second photo is a picture of them that Buck took on his first iPhone when he was pregnant with Christopher. He is standing at a full-body mirror, shortly after they moved into this house, turned to his right, one hand holding up his shirt and the other holding the phone, while Eddie is attached to his back with his hands holding up Buck’s belly, chin hooked over Buck’s right shoulder. Buck was right at the start of the third trimester when this photo was taken. Buck loves this photo. 

God, he can’t wait to get pregnant again once Eddie’s home. 

The third photo is a cute picture that Carla took of him and Chris last week when they were having movie night on the couch, snuggling, so Eddie can have a recent photo of his boys. 

Buck slides the photos into the envelope as Chris brings his letter for Papa. 

“I’ve got my letter for Papa, Daddy!" Chris cheers, hobbling over to Buck, who’s sitting at the desk. 

Buck smiles over at his son. “Yeah? May I read it?”

Chris nods, climbing into Buck's lap and handing the letter to Buck. “Here.”

Buck wraps one arm around his baby while the other holds the letter, kissing his baby’s head as he reads what Chris wrote in his messy, adorable handwriting, all written in different colors of crayon with many little doodles all around the paper.  

Buck loves his baby so much. He’s so smart and so creative. Buck can’t wait for another baby. 

Papa,

I love you so much!

I miss you!

Can’t wait until you’re home!

Daddy and I miss you lots!

Love, 

Chris 

“It’s perfect, baby. Papa’s going to love it.”

Chris blushes. “Thanks, Daddy. Are we going to be able to mail it today?”

“It’s too late tonight. But we can tomorrow morning before school.”

“Yaaay!” Chris exclaims happily. 

Buck kisses Chris’s temple, then he folds Chris’s letter so it fits into the envelope, and then he seals it. Now it’s ready to be mailed out tomorrow. 

So Eddie will get it in two weeks maximum, but they’re usually faster; Eddie usually gets them within a week. 

So it’s perfect timing to send it out now. 

Buck can’t wait to read what Eddie writes back. 

Buck now sets down the envelope on the desk. “What do we want for dinner tonight, baby?”

“Spaghetti!” Chris suggests with a cute smile. 

“Love that idea,” Buck says, smiling, kissing Chris’s hair. “Aunt Maddie is going to love it, too. Would you like to help me make it, baby?”

Chris nods vigorously. “Yes!”

Buck laughs. “Okay, let’s go!”

Buck hops up from the chair with his son in his arms, and they cook dinner together, Maddie joining them when she smells it cooking, helping set the table. 

God, if only Eddie were here, Buck can’t help but think as they’re eating at the dining table. 

Soon, though, soon. 

+++

A Week Later

Buck has just gotten home from an eight-hour shift—he was covering for someone because their sitter canceled at the last minute for a family emergency.

Maddie has officially started her new job at dispatch. She decided she was ready and went with it, and got the job, and Chris is at school, so Buck couldn’t resist because he’d rather do that than be at home alone. 

He did call Pepa on the way to the firehouse, seeing if she could pick up Chris—she could—and watch him until Buck’s home.  

And when Buck is going through the mail as he walks to the front door, he finds a letter from Eddie. 

Buck breaks out into a smile. Eddie must’ve sent an anniversary letter too. 

Buck can’t wait to read it. 

Buck locks the door shut behind him as he kicks his shoes off, then puts them on the rack. 

“I’m home!” He calls, setting his duffel bag down. 

Pepa yells from the kitchen. “In here, Evancito!”

Buck smiles, walking in the direction of the kitchen. 

As soon as Buck opens the door, the most adorable seven-year-old in the world throws himself into Buck’s arms. 

“Daddy!”

Buck grins, wrapping his arms around his son, picking him up, and tightly holding onto the mail in one hand. 

“Hi, baby. Have a good day?”

Chris nods, meeting Buck's eyes. “Mhm. And I don’t have much homework!”

“That’s nice, baby,” Buck says, kissing Chris’s curls. “How much do you have left?”

“Just a few questions left on my math.”

“Go ahead and finish that, and then we can have fun, okay, baby?”

Chris nods, smiling sweetly at Buck. “Okay, Daddy.”

Buck gives Chris one more kiss before setting his son down, walking over to greet Tia Pepa.

“Hola, Pepa,” Buck says with a smile, hugging her from behind, pecking her cheek. “¿Qué vas a cocinar para la cena, tía?” (What are you cooking for dinner, Aunt?) 

Over the years of knowing Eddie and his family, they have been slowly teaching him Spanish. He’s gotten really good at it; there are only a few words here and there that stump him. 

“Mama’s enchiladas,” Pepa immediately responds. 

“Mmm, delicioco,” Buck hums.

Pepa chuckles, pausing to look up at him with a bright smile, kissing his cheek. “¿Tuviste un buen día hoy?” (Good day today?) She asks, now focusing back on the food. 

Buck nods, peeling himself off her back. “Sí. Un turno tranquilo hoy.” (Yes. Easy shift today.)

“¡Muy bien!” She cheers.

Buck loves her so much. “I’m going to change, shout if you need anything, okay?” He says, flawlessly switching back to English. 

She nods as Chris shouts, “Will do, Daddy!”

Buck laughs, heading towards the master bedroom, flipping through the mail, finding a few junk letters that he throws away, setting the bills on the living room desk for later, leaving only Eddie’s letter in his hands. 

Buck smiles as he closes his bedroom door behind him, setting the letter on the bed before quickly changing out of his uniform and into a pair of sweats and a T-shirt. 

Then he throws himself onto the bed and rips Eddie’s letter open. 

He finds two pieces of paper inside. One that’s meant clearly for Chris and one clearly for Evan. 

Buck sets Chris’s letter aside to read with his son later and reads the one Eddie wrote just for him. 

Evan,

Mi amor, I miss you more and more each day. Our son, too. I am counting down the days until I can have you in my arms again and kiss those sweet lips again. And do other things with you again. ;)

Specifically, making more babies with you. This time on purpose. ;)

God, I am never leaving you or Chris again once I’m home for good. 

I love you more than life, amor de mi vida. 

And our son. 

I can’t believe it’s been ten years. 

Happy Anniversary! (It’s probably going to be a bit early when you get this, but I wanted to make sure you got this before the 12th.)

Best ten years of my goddam life!

You are the most wonderful, precious, beautiful human being on this Earth, and it pains me to be so fucking far away from you. Over 7,000 miles! We’ve never been this far apart before. 

I never want to be more than a foot from you. No, less. One centimeter. 

You must always be in touching distance, always by my side. So we can have each other’s backs, always.

It’s getting hard to see this piece of paper now; my eyes are tearing up so much. 

God, baby. I hate this. 

I’m so glad that our son has gotten the care he needs, but now that the medical plan is locked in place, I don’t want to be here anymore. 

I’m never going to leave you or let you go again. 

Te amo más que a mi vida. 

I can’t wait to see you again. 

I also don’t know when I’ll be able to call you next. But I’m going to call you as soon as I can, I promise. 

I love you so much, Evan Diaz. 

Never stop shining,

All my love,

Eddie

Translation: Te amo más que a mi vida — I love you more than life.

Buck’s bawling by the time he reaches the end of Eddie’s letter. 

Buck loves this man so much. All he wants to do is hug and kiss Eddie right now, but he fucking can’t. 

It kills a part of him knowing that he and Eddie are 7,000 miles apart and can’t touch. 

Buck is never letting Eddie leave again. Seems Eddie doesn’t want to either. 

Buck holds the St. Christopher medallion in his hand and his ring as he cries for his husband, silently praying to anyone who is listening to keep Eddie safe and let him come home. 

That night, when Chris is tucked into his bed, Buck snuggled up next to him, they read the letter Eddie wrote for Chris. 

Christopher,

I miss you more and more each day. I wish I were home with you and Daddy every day. 

But don’t worry, I’m going to be home soon. Just a few more months left to go. 

You are the greatest kid in the whole world, and I can’t wait to come home to you and Daddy. 

Stay strong, mi mijo. 

Love, 

Papa

Buck and Chris smile teary-eyed down at the letter. 

Even though it was a very short letter, it’s so sweet. 

Eddie never forgets about their son and has been writing letters for both of them since his first tour over four years ago. 

“I miss, Papa,” Chris says, sniffling, wiping his nose. 

Buck wraps his arms tight around his son. “I know, baby. I miss him too. So much. Not too much longer, now though.”

Chris tucks his head under Buck’s chin. “Can I sleep with you tonight, Daddy?”

Buck bites back the tears. “Of course you can, baby. Let’s go.”

Buck picks Chris up and carries Chris to the master bedroom, the letter still in one of his hands so he can add it to the box with all of Eddie’s other letters. 

Buck sets Chris down in the bed first before putting both letters Eddie sent in the box under the bed, then he closes the door, joining his son in the bed. 

The two hold each other close, tucked under the covers, falling asleep in each other’s arms, dreaming that Eddie is home with them like they always do. 

+++

November 12, 2018

Buck is off today because he can’t work on his and Eddie’s anniversary. He’s too depressed because Eddie isn't home with him to celebrate it. (He took a sick day.)

So he’s cleaning the house up today. Maddie’s in her room doing who knows what because she’s off work today. 

Probably on FaceTime with Chimney again. (Gross).

Even grosser now because they finally said that they’re dating after all the dates that they didn’t call dates these past two weeks. It was annoying Buck. But what’s more annoying to him is that it’s actually happening, and Maddie really likes Chimney and really wants this to work. 

Buck has done all he can to stop it, but it seems that he couldn’t. So he stopped trying and just choses to ignore them when they’re all gross and kissing and shit.  

Buck has to hold in his gags when they do so. 

Buck seriously needs Eddie back. He’ll show them what real lovesick fools look like. 

God, he misses Eddie so goddamn much. Today is their anniversary, and Buck would like to see Eddie today. If Eddie can’t be home, then he would at least like to see his husband. 

So instead, he just cleans the house up and does laundry so this day can just pass by without another thought. 

But then, a few hours later, while he’s dusting the living room, the computer on the desk lights up with a Skype call. 

Holy shit! Eddie!

Buck throws everything down, not caring where it lands, running to the desk to answer the video call. 

Eddie's grainy, beautiful face lights up the screen a few seconds later. 

Buck’s whole face lights up. Eddie thinks it’s adorable. 

“Eddie! Hi!”

Eddie can’t help himself and chuckles. “Hey, baby. Happy Anniversary.”

Buck beams, eyes misting up. “Happy Anniversary, Eds. I love you.”

“I love you too, mi amor.” Eddie’s eyes glisten with tears. 

“I-I didn’t expect you to call today.”

Eddie’s lip curves up into a slight smirk, a few tears falling from his eyes. “I made sure that I could call you today. Even if it was just for a second. I just needed to see you.”

Buck breaks, crying into his hands. 

“Hey, hey, look at me, Ev.”

Buck sniffles and wipes his eyes, looking up at the computer screen. 

“I love you so, so much. I can’t wait to be home. I miss my babies so much.”

Buck bites his bottom lip. “We miss you, too, Eds. So goddamn much.”

“Seven months couldn’t come fast enough.”

Buck laughs, which causes Eddie to laugh. 

“Did you get my letter, mi vida?” Eddie asks once they’ve caught their breath. 

Buck nods. “Yeah. It was so sweet, babe. It’s one of my favorites. Chris loved his letter too.”

Eddie nibbles on his bottom lip. “It was very hard to write that last bit, so I’m glad that it was readable. I’m very glad that I wrote Chris’s first. I had a very limited time to get them ready so they could get mailed out, and I would not have had enough time to wait until I could see the paper again.”

Buck chuckles, then smiles at his husband. “H-have you gotten mine yet?”

Eddie doesn’t respond. Instead, he looks around for something, then he looks back at Buck, holding up the three photos Buck packed in the envelope. 

Buck gasps softly. “You got it.”

Eddie nods. “Mhm. I sure did.” Eddie holds up the picture Buck took in the pile of hay on his old camera. “Was this when we first…?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. On my old camera. It was at the very bottom of our photo box—which needs to be organized, by the way.”

Eddie beams at Buck. “I didn’t even know you still even had this photo.”

“Y-yeah. I didn’t think you knew I did. That’s why I wanted to send you a copy of it.”

Eddie holds it to his chest. “Thank you, mi marido. I love them. I will cherish them forever.”

“Good. And don’t worry if they get bent up, I have multiple copies of each photo. I just wanted to give them to you.”

“Te amo con todo mi corazón, Evan Diaz.” (I love you with all my heart, Evan Diaz.)

Buck smiles, tearing up again. Damn, Eddie and his amazing skill of romancing. 

“I love you too, Eddie. So much.”

Eddie wipes his eyes, pocketing the photos, giving them each one more look before doing so. “I can’t wait for more kids, cariño. Te ves hermoso embarazada.” (You look beautiful pregnant.)

Buck's entire face goes bright red. If only Eddie knew that he was ready to be pregnant again. 

(He’s still going to wait until Eddie’s home to say anything, and he’s trying very hard right now not to say anything.)

“One day, Eddie, I promise.”

“Good. I can’t wait.” Eddie smiles. “Hey, how’s Maddie settling in? I know you’re over the moon that she’s in LA now.”

“Oh, yeah, baby, it’s amazing. I’ve missed her so much. It’s been so nice to be able to talk to her and tell her about my life. And to watch Chris interact with her, oh my God, baby. They love each other so much. I’m so glad our baby has got an aunt in his life. Plus, Maddie needs all of the people she can get right now. She’s been pretty shaken up by everything that has gone on with Doug.”

Eddie watches Buck and listens to every word he says. “Well, that’s good. Is Doug going to be able to find her?”

Buck shakes his head. “He’ll be arrested for violating the restraining order before he even gets two feet into California to find her. If he even knows she’s in Cali.”

“That’s awesome, baby. I’m so happy that she’s there.”

“Yeah. I’m happy too. But I’ll never be fully happy until you’re home.”

Eddie looks at him sympathetically. “I know, honey. I know. I can’t wait to be home. I’m never leaving you guys again.”

“I’m never letting you leave again,” Buck bites back playfully. 

“Don’t plan on it.”

“Good.”

“Hey, Evan?” Maddie calls from the hallway.

Buck’s face lights up as he smiles at Eddie. “Yeah, Mads?”

“I was wondering about our dinner plans for tonight,” she says, coming around the corner. 

“Oh my God,” he groans. “Please tell me Chimney didn’t ask you out on another date.”

Maddie smiles, walking towards him. “As a matter of fact, Howie did.”

Buck jerks his head to the side, looking at her in disbelief. “Howie?? Seriously?! Gross!!”

She crosses her arms and grins. “Yes, Howie.”

“Ugh,” Buck grumbles, rolling his eyes. “Can you come here for a sec, Mads? We’ll talk about dinner later.”

“Oookay.” She walks towards Buck, hesitantly. 

“There’s someone I want you to meet.”

Eddie waves at Maddie, smiling. “Hello, Maddie. Nice to finally meet you.”

Maddie gasps, face lighting up with a smile in a very Buckley way as she looks at the computer screen. “Oh my God! Eddie, hi!”

Eddie chuckles. “Hi. Glad you’re here. Evan has been worried sick about you for as long as I’ve known him.”

“Ten years ago today, to be exact,” Buck buts in, smiling. 

“Damn right,” Eddie adds, beaming at Buck. “Best ten years of my life.”

“Our lives, Eds.”

Eddie blushes. 

“You guys are as sickeningly in love as I suspected,” Maddie juts in.

Buck and Eddie laugh. 

“Is it a good thing or a bad thing, Mads?”

“I dunno yet,” she replies. 

Eddie laughs. “Well, I seriously hate to break up the party, but I’ve got five minutes before I have to get back.”

Buck’s face falls. “Give us a few minutes, Mads. Then we’ll talk about dinner.”

“Okay, love you, Evan.” Then she looks at the computer screen. “It was nice to meet you, Eddie. See you in seven months.”

Eddie smiles. “See you then. And it was nice to meet you, too, Maddie.”

Maddie waves and then walks off. 

“Hey, baby,” Eddie says softly, getting Buck’s attention. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for our anniversary. I know I usually am, but—”

“Hey,” Buck cuts him off. “It’s okay. I know you wanted to be here. That’s all that matters to me. But if you were here, I wouldn’t have gotten that beautiful letter.”

Eddie chuckles wetly and wipes his eyes before any more tears fall. “I love you so goddamn much, mi amor. There aren’t enough words in the dictionary that could describe my love for you.”

“I wanna kiss you so bad, baby,” Buck whines, leaning his head back against the desk chair. “Especially when you say shit like that.”

Eddie giggles. “I know. I wanna kiss you too. Just a little bit more to go. Te amo más que a mi propia vida, baby.” (I love you more than life, baby.)

“I love you more.”

“I know.”

The call ends, and then Buck breaks down into tears. (Eddie does too on his end before he gets back to his tasks.)

Buck doesn’t know if he’ll be able to make it seven more months without his husband. 

It feels like fucking torture to be without Eddie. 

+++

December 18, 2018

Buck hasn’t heard from Eddie since their anniversary, no phone calls, no letters. 

Buck has sent countless letters, but has not gotten a single response or a Skype call. 

Buck is getting worried, and Chris is starting to ask questions. 

“Why hasn’t Papa called?”

“When will Papa call again?”

“Has Papa sent any letters?”

“When does Papa come home?”

It’s fucking killing him. 

Because where is Eddie?

+++

Two Weeks Later

Today has been a very shitty day. 

Long calls left and right, and Buck just wants to snuggle into bed with his baby and sleep the rest of the day away. 

But it seems the world has it out for him today. 

When Buck walks into the kitchen to say hey to Maddie, he sees her face, and he immediately knows something is wrong. 

Buck runs to her. “What’s wrong, Mads? Are you okay?”

Maddie looks at him and nods. “Yeah. There’s just…there’s a letter for you.”

Buck’s brows jump up. “Eddie? Did he write?”

She shakes her head and hands him a very official-looking envelope. 

Buck looks down at it and takes it. 

Oh, it’s very official. The U.S. Army sent this. 

No. No. No. No. No. 

That means whatever is written in the envelope, it can’t be good.

Buck squats down to the ground, holding the unopened envelope in his hands, doing everything he can not to break down into tears. 

“M-Maddie, I-I can’t. C-can y-you do it?” Buck stammers, holding the envelope up to her, his hands shaking. 

She gently takes the letter and squats down to his level. “Are you sure?”

Buck nods, already tearing up. “Please. I need to know if my husband is okay.”

“Okay, Evan, okay. But let’s get off the floor. Let’s sit at the table.”

Buck agrees, getting up from the ground, sitting at the kitchen table, with Maddie in the seat next to him. 

“Okay, I’m going to open it. You want me to read it aloud to you?”

Buck nods, sniffling, looking at her with the saddest eyes she’s ever seen him make. 

She hates seeing him like this. 

She rips the envelope open, pulling out a sheet of paper, unfolding it. 

“Oh, wow. It’s very official-looking,” she mutters, scanning her eyes over the letter. “Holy shit,” she whispers. 

Buck jerks his head up, eyes pleasing. “What?”

“E-Evan…h-he…”

“Maddie, please,” his voice cracks. “What is it?”

She hands him the envelope. “Read it for yourself. Trust me. I don’t want to read it out loud.”

Buck takes it, looking down at the letter, reading it. There’s a lot of official, military blah blah blah on the paper, but then he finds what affected Maddie.

Evan Diaz, we regret to inform you of the following situation. Your husband, Sergeant First Class Edmundo Diaz, along with multiple accompanying personnel, was involved in a helicopter incident and is currently listed as Missing in Action. Search‑and‑recovery elements remain actively engaged within the designated area; however, no positive findings have been reported. At this time, no casualties have been confirmed.

Buck drops the letter onto the table and cries into his hands. 

Buck may never see his husband again. Eddie could be dead. Is most likely dead. Even though he doesn’t want to think that, Eddie probably is. 

A fucking helicopter crash?!?

Buck cries for his husband, who he may never see again, or get to hug again, kiss again, talk to again, or get to tell him “I love you” again. Nothing. 

Buck cries for the life he may never get back. And now he and Eddie won’t be able to fill up this house with their babies. 

Buck cries for it, mourns it. 

“Oh, Evan,” Maddie soothes, rubbing his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

“He’s gone. Maddie. How could he survive that? My Eddie is strong, so strong, but how can anyone survive a fucking helicopter crash?!” Buck weeps. 

“Eddie can, that’s who,” Maddie says firmly. “He is going to fight to come home to you and Chris. You know he will.”

Buck nods, wiping his eyes. “Y-yeah. W-where is my baby?”

“In his room, doing school work. Do you want me to get him?”

He shakes his head. “N-no. I-I need to shower first. Then I’ll get him and tell him about Eddie.”

“Hey, maybe wait on it. Give them a week or two, then you can. Because they might find him.”

Buck nods. “Y-yeah. O-okay. I love you, Mads.”

She smiles, teary-eyed. “I love you, too, Evan.”

She holds him for a few minutes before he goes to shower, and Maddie puts the letter away so Chris can’t find it. 

After Buck gets out of the shower, he changes into a pair of sweats and Eddie’s old bootcamp shirt, then he goes to Chris’s room.  

He knocks on the door. “Hey, baby.”

Chris jumps out of his chair. “Daddy! I missed you!”

Buck runs and pulls Chris into a tight hug. “Hi, Superman. I missed you, too. How’s your homework coming along?”

“Fine. But math is hard.”

Buck chuckles, kissing Chris’s curls. “Yeah, I know. I’ll help you with it. How’s that sound?”

Chris beams, pulling back from the embrace. “Yeah!”

“Okay, then, let’s get to work, baby.”

It takes them nearly two hours to get it done. 

Jesus, Chris wasn’t kidding. Math is very hard. 

+++

January 4, 2019

Buck has decided to tell Chris today because he still hasn’t heard anything back from the Army. 

Buck doesn’t know why he’s been keeping it to himself, but he just…he doesn’t know what to say. 

How do you tell your son that their Papa might never come home?

So he decides to wait until Maddie is out of the house. She’s staying over at Chimney’s place, again—they really need to just move in together at this point, it’s getting ridiculous.

Which brings us to now, Buck just picked Chris up from school. It’s Friday, so they have the whole weekend to heal together. As a unit. 

Buck isn’t ready. But he needs to tell Christopher. 

Chris deserves to know. 

+++

“Hey, Daddy,” Chris greets, walking over to Buck’s Jeep with a precious smile on his face, backpack on his back. 

“Hey, baby,” Buck says, squatting down to hug his son. “Have a good day at school?”

Chris nods. “Mhm. We have a field trip next week to the science museum!!”

Buck grins. “That sounds so awesome!!” They have gone to the science museum before, but it has been a minute. That’s definitely why Chris is so excited to go. Buck will make sure to take Chris to it more if he really enjoys the field trip. “Do you have your slip in your backpack for me to sign?”

Chris smiles and nods. “Yeah! I sure do, Daddy!”

“Good. I’ll sign it once we’re home. C’mon, baby.”

Chris beams. “Okay.”

Buck helps Chris get into the Jeep, buckles him in, kisses his cheek, and then shuts the door. 

He then hops in the driver’s seat and drives them home, his knee bouncing nervously the closer and closer they get to their house. 

He has to tell Chris today. He has to. 

“So, what homework do you have today, baby?”

“A science paper and a history assignment. I already have half of the history done.”

Buck smiled at Chris through the rear-view mirror. “Look at you, my little genius.”

Chris giggles, embarrassed. “Daddy!”

“What?” Buck says innocently. “It’s true!”

Chris rolls his eyes playfully. “You’re so embarrassing, Daddy.”

“You love it.”

Chris smiles, that says more than any words could ever say. 

+++

Buck and Chris tag-team the homework, Chris doing most of the work because he’s so freaking smart. Buck also signs the permission slip and puts that back in Chris’s bag so Chris can hand it to his teachers on Monday. 

And now it’s time to break his baby’s heart and tell him that Papa may never come home. 

When Buck returns to the dining room—that’s where they got Chris’s assignments done—his face falls, seeing just how happy Chris is, because he’s going to make his baby cry when he tells Chris about Eddie. 

“Hey, baby, I need to talk to you about something,” Buck says, his voice cracking ever so slightly. 

Chris looks up and frowns at Buck’s sad expression. “What’s wrong, Daddy?”

Buck sits back down at the dining table, in the seat next to Chris, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “I got a letter the other day. It’s about Papa.”

Chris’s brows furrow. “Is Papa okay?”

Buck’s eyes fill with tears. “I don’t know, baby. He’s missing. Along with a few other soldiers. They’re looking for them all now. So we don’t know.”

Chris’s bottom lip trembles, eyes glossing over. “So we don’t know if Papa will ever come home?”

Buck shakes his head, tears falling from his eyes. “I’m so sorry, baby. But I had to tell you.”

Chris cries, throwing his arms around Buck’s neck, crawling into Buck’s lap, his safe place. 

Buck wraps his arms tightly around his baby. “I’m so so sorry, baby.”

Chris sobs in the crook of his neck. “Papa,” the boy cries out. 

Buck presses his face into Chris’s curls. “He loves us. He’s going to fight to come home to us.”

Chris nods, not saying anything, still crying. 

“Want to sleep in the bed with me tonight, baby?”

“Please.”

Fuck. Buck hates hearing his baby sound like this. “Okay. You want to take a bath now, Superman?”

Chris nods. “Carry me?”

Buck chuckles wetly. “Always. C’mon, baby.”

Buck stands from the chair, Chris still crying in his arms, and walks them to the bathroom to help Chris take a bath. 

“I love you so much, baby,” Buck says. 

Chris sniffles, wiping his eyes, pulling his face out of Buck’s neck. “I love you too, Daddy. Papa too. He knows, right? That we love him?”

Fuck. “Oh, yeah, baby. He knows.”

“Good.”

Buck kisses Chris’s temple, then sets him down, now prepping his bath. 

This is going to be a long weekend of tears and hugs, but they’ll get through it together. 

+++

January 10, 2019

The Diaz household and family have been filled with this sadness now that not only Chris knows, but Carla, Pepa, and Abuela, too. 

They’re all just waiting impatiently for a letter back from the Army with any sort of news on Eddie, but nothing so far. 

They’re all starting to lose hope. 

But they can’t, they have to have hope. Eddie is still out there; Buck would be able to feel it if Eddie were gone. 

So Eddie still has to be out there somewhere, fighting to come home. 

Buck knows it. He feels it in his soul. 

+++

January 14, 2019

Today has been a slow day, shift has been very qu—not very busy. 

All of the chores have been done to the point where Bobby literally cannot find any other tasks to give the team to do to pass the time. 

So they’re all upstairs at the loft, taking turns playing Mario Kart while Bobby and Buck make lunch. 

So Bobby uses it to his advantage to talk to Buck; he’s noticed Buck’s sadder mood lately and wants to make sure everything is okay. 

“Hey, kid, is everything okay at home?”

Buck freezes, looking at his captain with wide eyes. “Uhm…yeah, it’s fine. There’s just a lot going on right now. But we’re okay. W-why do you ask?”

The older man shrugs. “You’ve just seemed sad lately. I just want to make sure you’re okay, kid.”

Buck swallows thickly. “T-thanks, Cap.”

Bobby places a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “Of course. We’re a family here at the 118. We look after each other.”

Buck smiles. “I’ve noticed. I’m glad to be a part of it.”

“And we’re glad you’re here.”

Buck’s mood has been bumped up a little. But the only thing that’ll make it better is news that Eddie has been found alive. 

+++

The team is chowing down on lunch when one of the other firefighters on A-shift walks upstairs, eyes locking on Buck. 

“You have some visitors, Buckley.”

Buck’s brows furrow as he sets down his fork, swallowing a bite of food. “Who?”

He shrugs. “Some woman and a kid with crutches.”

Buck quickly gets up from his chair and runs down the stairs. 

“Chris, Carla, hey!” Buck greets, squatting down to hug his baby, who’s wearing a massive smile. A smile he hasn’t seen since he told Chris the news about Eddie a week and a half ago. 

“Hey, Daddy.”

“Hey, Buckaroo.”

Buck kisses Chris’s head, then moves to hug Carla.

“What brings you guys by?”

“I got an A+ on my history test, Daddy!” Chris cheers. 

Buck gasps, grinning. “I knew you’d ace it, baby!”

Carla places a gentle hand on Chris’s shoulder. “He just got the results back today and just had to tell you.”

Buck smiles at Carla, then picks Christopher up, crutches and all, hugging his son to his chest. “My little genius.”

Chris giggles as Buck sets him back down on the ground. 

“We’re not super busy today, baby. Do you want a quick tour?”

Chris gasps excitedly. “Yes, please!”

Carla laughs. “He’s been begging for me to bring him here for one forever.”

“Well, then, let’s give you that tour, Superman.”

“Yaaaaay! Love you, Daddy!”

“Love you too, baby.”

Buck feels the prying eyes from all of A-shift watching him as he walks Chris and Carla all around the firehouse. 

But he ignores them; what’s most important are the two people standing next to him, not his nosy coworkers. 

They make a big loop around the firehouse, Chris asking question after question, Buck always prepared to answer, then Buck hugs and kisses them goodbye once they complete the loop. (The only part they don’t go to is the loft. One, because of the stairs, and two, because of his nosy co-workers.)

“See you tomorrow morning, baby.”

“Bye, Daddy! Love you!”

“Love you too, Superman!”

“Bye, Buckaroo.”

“Bye, Carla. Thanks for bringing him.”

She winks. “Anytime.”

God, Buck loves his son and Carla. He’s glad they came by today; he didn’t realize it, but he really needed them today. 

When he goes back upstairs, he immediately knows that he is be getting asked questions, like they’re interviewing him. 

So he mentally prepares himself for it.

He doesn’t get asked questions until he sits back down and eats what is left on his plate—it’s room temperature now, but Buck is too hungry to care. 

“So, probie,” Chim starts, Hen and Ravi right next to him. 

“Who was that?” Hen asks. 

“Well, I think one is clear. I don’t think just any kid can call someone ‘Daddy’ and it not be obvious who is the parent to the kid,” Ravi adds. 

Buck sighs, taking his plate and silverware to the kitchen sink; the three of them follow right behind him. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Oh, come on, probie,” Chim grumbles. “Just tell us who they are, and we’ll leave you alone.”

Buck shakes his head as he washes his dishes. “They’re important to me. They’re my family. Isn’t that enough?”

“So that’s really your kid?” Hen pries. 

Buck groans, getting angry, letting the plate fall from his hands with a loud thunk. “Yes! That’s my son. And his caretaker. Anything else you want to know, or are we good now?!”

“Look, dude,” Ravi starts, the three of them taken aback by Buck’s outburst. “We’re sorry. We just wanted to know more about you.”

Buck dries off his hands, loading his dishes in the dishwasher, feeling calmer now, and a bit shitty for yelling. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s just…a sensitive subject for me. A lot is going on right now with my family right now, and it’s just hard to talk about it. I’m sorry, I yelled.”

“C’mere, Buck,” Bobby says. Buck didn’t realize he was listening.

Buck’s brows furrow, but he walks around the kitchen island to the group of three, Bobby standing not too far behind them. 

“I tried to get them not to press. You don’t have to tell us stuff you don’t want to. I get it.”

Buck smiles. “Thanks, Cap. But, yeah. That’s Chris, Christopher. My son. He’s seven.”

“He’s adorable, from what we saw,” Hen says, smiling. “He definitely has got that curiosity, as you do, and your brain. Always wanting to learn new things. Bet he’s always fascinated by those facts you tell us.”

Buck blushes and nods. “Y-yeah. He’s my little genius.”

“Mom in the picture?” Ravi asks, voice soft. 

“No.” Buck shakes his head. Chris doesn’t have a mom. He’s got two dads. But he’s not going to tell them that right now. He’ll wait until he’s pregnant again, probably once Eddie is back home. Hopefully. 

“Damn, dude,” Chim says.

Hen whacks her best friend’s arm, getting him to shout and grumble. “Well, you always have us if you need anything.”

Chim—although reluctant—Ravi, and Bobby make noises of agreement. 

“Thanks, guys.”

“Time for a group hug, c’mere, kid.”

Buck rolls his eyes, going along with it. 

Buck would never tell them, but he needed that. 

It was nice. Really nice. 

But of course, during the hug, the alarm rings after five hours of nada. 

Great timing! He screams internally, following his team down the stairs, hopping into the engine. 

Today is going to be a better day, he tells himself as they head to the call. 

+++

January 20, 2019

Today, Buck woke up feeling a whole new kind of horrible. 

He doesn’t know what it is, but he feels like he could just sleep for fourteen hours straight. 

He doesn’t know what’s going on with his body today, but he chooses to ignore it as he gets ready for his shift and gets Chris ready for school. 

That’s more important. 

He can focus on that later. Maybe he just needs to take a power nap once he gets to work. 

….the power nap doesn’t work. 

He napped for a solid hour once he got settled into the firehouse, but he actually feels somehow worse than he already did. 

Great. Just fucking great. 

Today is going to seriously suck ass. 

+++

A Few Hours Later

It somehow gets worse. 

The team is out on a call, a small, two-car crash, and as he’s using the jaws to pry the driver’s door open, he starts to feel lightheaded. 

And once he got the door open, he moved out of the way so Chim could get to the victim, who was bleeding slightly from her forehead. Then he tumbled to the ground, the jaws dropping onto the cement next to him. 

Hen runs to check on him. 

“You okay, probie?” She asks, his ears ringing so much he almost doesn’t hear her. 

“I-I dunno,” he mumbles. 

Her brows furrow. “Let’s get you back to the engine and get you some water, okay?”

Buck nods, going along with her. She knows best about this kind of stuff. 

Buck feels better after sitting down in the engine, slowly drinking a bottle of cold water. 

He still feels like absolute shit, but a little better at least, so that’s something. 

“Hey, kid,” Bobby says, standing outside the engine, looking in to check on him. “Hen told me what happened. What’s going on?”

Buck shrugs. “Dunno. Woke up feeling bad. Won’t go away.”

“Take a nap when we get back, okay? You can be man behind today and help me with paperwork.”

Buck smiles. “I do like helping you with that.”

Bobby smiles too. “I know, kid. Just rest, okay? Take it easy today.”

Buck nods. “Thanks, Cap.”

“Anytime.”

Buck seriously loves that man. He’s the father Buck always wanted. 

+++

Buck does as Bobby told him to do and goes straight for the bunks and passes right out. 

He’s rudely awakened two hours later with the urge to throw up and sprints for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before he vomits. 

Bobby is the one who finds him because he was about to check on Buck and see how Buck is feeling, and to see if he wanted to start helping with the paperwork. But instead, he hears violent retching in the bathroom and immediately knows it’s Buck.

“Hey, hey, I’m here, kid,” Bobby says, his voice low and gentle, rubbing a hand on the younger man’s back. 

Buck coughs, the rest of whatever that was, coming up, falling into the toilet. “H-hey, Cap.”

“Let’s get you some water, okay?”

Buck nods, sitting up and flushing the toilet. 

Bobby grabs a bottle of water and finds Chimney, telling him to call Maddie to come pick him up and take him home. 

“Yeah, sure thing, Cap. I’ll call my girlfriend.”

God, he won’t shut up about that. It’s annoying for everybody, and not just Buck. 

+++

Maddie doesn’t hesitate to fetch Josh, her new best friend/co-worker. 

“Hey, my boyfriend just called and said that my brother was just throwing up and needs to go home.”

Josh immediately understands. “Yeah, go. You’re fine. Take the rest of the day off. And tomorrow, okay?”

She hugs him. “Thanks. You’re the best.”

Josh smiles. “Anytime. Now go get him. Make sure he’s okay. See you in two days.”

“I will. See you then.” She loves Josh so much. She definitely owes him a bottle of wine for this.

+++

Buck is slumped against Bobby on one of the bunks, looking horrible, when Maddie arrives. 

Yeah, something is very wrong. 

Maddie squats down in front of him. “Hey, Evan.”

Buck’s eyes open at the sound of her voice. “Oh, hey, Mads.”

“Hey.” She places a hand on his knee. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

He nods. “Sleepy.”

She smiles. “I can see that.”

“I’ll help you get him to your car. Do you think you’ll be able to get him inside his house?”

She nods. “Don’t worry. I’ve got it. Thank you, Bobby.”

The older man smiles. “Of course, Maddie.”

Everyone has befriended Maddie ever since she came to LA, letting her know she’s not alone and that they’re always here for anything. 

Maddie is really loving Los Angeles; she’s glad she came here. 

Now if only Eddie would come home, it would be even better. Especially for Evan and Chris’s sakes.

+++

The next morning, Maddie takes Buck to the ER to get checked out because he hasn’t felt much better since he got home yesterday. 

(Also, in case you’re wondering, Chimney brought the Jeep to Buck’s house after shift ended, and then Hen met up with him so he could go back to the station and drive back to his apartment in his car.)

They get called back after thirty minutes of waiting. Buck goes to the back alone; he doesn’t want Maddie back there with him until he knows what’s wrong. 

She protested slightly, but she did as Buck wished and stayed in the waiting room. 

“Are you going to do blood tests…?” Buck asks the doctor curiously, sitting on the bed. 

“Yes,” the doctor says with a nod. “And possibly a urine test. Have you been urinating regularly and having bowel movements, okay?”

Buck thinks for a moment. “Yeah…Well, I’ve been urinating slightly more than usual, but everything else is okay on that front.”

“Alright, we’ll do a urine test as well.” 

“Good to know because I gotta go now.”

“Perfect. I’ll show you the way.”

Once Buck does the urine test, they draw blood. Then they have him wait in the waiting room because they’re going to do some simple tests that will give them some results, and if there are any red flags, they’ll have to send him to the hospital to get really checked over. 

So now he’s impatiently waiting with Maddie. 

“I’m scared, Mads,” he whispers, his knee bouncing anxiously. 

Maddie reaches over and takes his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay.”

Buck nods. 

His name gets called a little while later. 

“Want me there?” Maddie offers, like the great big sister she is.

He shakes his head. “I-I’m okay.”

“Just let them know if you need me, okay?”

Buck nods, heading into the back, ready to hear the results of the tests. 

Buck is sitting on the bed in the room for five minutes before the same doctor comes back with a clipboard. 

“Alright, Mr. Diaz. There is no need for an urgent hospital visit.”

Buck perks up. “You know what’s wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong.”

Buck’s brows furrow in confusion. “What…what does that mean?” 

“Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

Buck’s jaw drops. “W-what? H-how? W-when?” He immediately realizes what came out of his mouth. The doctor gives him a look. “N-no, I know how. But like, how? My husband’s in the army, and he was here nearly five months ago. I mean, we had sex. But I haven’t had any symptoms until very recently.” 

(When he thinks back on it later, he realizes he’s had them for a while, but didn’t really notice because he was too focused on Eddie and the fact that he might not have come home.)

“Every pregnancy is different, and, well, the sex would do it.”

“I-is the baby okay?” Buck asks nervously. 

“I can’t tell you that. You should schedule an ultrasound for that and an appointment with your OBGYN. But the levels that we got back are all normal. So everything seems okay. I didn’t spot any red flags.”

Buck nods, processing. “Thank you, doctor.”

“Of course, congratulations again.”

“Thanks,” Buck squeaks. 

He needs to get home now. He needs his husband home now. 

Buck barely remembers the walk back to Maddie and the ride home, but it happened because he’s home now. 

“C’mon, you need to lie down. I’ll get Chris from school, okay?”

Buck nods, lazily kicking his shoes off, trudging down the hallway to his bedroom. 

If he can’t have his husband, he wants his baby…his first baby. Because he’s pregnant with his and Eddie’s second baby. He’s—their—going to be parents of two. 

Fuuuuuck

It would be okay if he could video call or send a letter to Eddie, but he can’t. Because Eddie’s still MIA. 

Once he lies in the bed, on Eddie’s side—which no longer smells like Eddie, hasn’t for a long time—he immediately starts crying into the pillow, one hand fisted in said pillow, and the other resting on his belly under his shirt. 

He loves this baby because it’s his and Eddie’s. He just hates that Eddie isn’t home or might never come home to meet the baby or be there when they're born. 

This baby might never get to know how amazing their Papa is, and that is just a knife in his shattered heart. 

“I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry," he weeps, feeling the little bump. “Your Daddy and Papa love you so so so much.”

With how muscular his body is, it hides the bump, which is one of the reasons he didn’t realize sooner. 

He technically was still on his birth control when Eddie was here, but he was weaning off it at the time, so it seems it was just enough for it to take. 

Plus, they never wear condoms—they hate having any space between them, even a little piece of plastic is too much—and they never stop with just one round. 

They are always versatile in bed, but Eddie was more intent on getting inside of Buck instead of the other way around when he was home five months ago. 

Seems it was just enough to put a baby in him. 

God, is this punishment? Is this a message saying that Eddie will never return home?

Buck hates this. 

He wanted to get pregnant when Eddie came back, not when he thought that Eddie wouldn’t come home. 

“Eddie,” Buck sobs. “Eddie. Please. Come home. Meet our baby, please.”

Buck continues to cry when he suddenly hears a knock at the door. 

“I’m going to get Chris.”

“M’kay,” Buck mumbles. “Need my baby, need my husband.”

“I know, Evan. I’ll bring Chris to you, okay? And Eddie, he’s coming home, he’s fighting to come home to you two. You know he is.”

Buck nods, sniffing. “Mhm.” He doesn’t correct her when she says two, because it’s technically three, but he doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone just yet. He wants Eddie to know first. 

“I’ll be back shortly. Call me if you need me.”

“Drive safe.”

“I will. You just rest.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He hears her laugh softly as she closes the door behind her, and then he hears the front door shut. 

Maddie’s gone. But she’s bringing him his baby back. 

That’s his last thought before he falls asleep. 

+++

Buck wakes when he feels something small curl up against him. 

Chris. 

His baby’s here. 

Buck automatically wraps his arms around the boy, pulling his son right up against him. 

“Hi, baby,” Buck mumbles sleepily, sniffling. 

“Hi, Daddy,” Chris whispers. “Aunt Maddie said that you needed me. Are you okay?”

His baby is so precious and so sweet. Buck loves him so much. 

“I’m okay now, baby. I just needed my Superman.”

Buck feels Chris smile against his chest. “Good. Papa would make it so much better, though.”

Buck has to bite his lip so he doesn’t cry again. “Yeah. But I’m okay. Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome, Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you so, so much, Chris.”

Buck kisses Chris’s temple, then he falls back asleep, and shortly after, Chris falls asleep too. 

They don’t wake until a couple of hours later because Maddie made dinner. 

Buck couldn’t eat all of it because if he ate more than he did, he would’ve thrown up again. 

But he does feel better and is no longer as weak as he was this morning after he threw up. 

But now that he knows he’s pregnant again, he can eat the right foods so he won’t get sick too badly. And he can also call his OBGYN and get an ultrasound set up and get a prescription for anti-nausea medicine to help. 

He doesn’t have morning sickness, but he’s more sensitive to smells and food instead. He prefers that over morning sickness. Because the one time he had it, it was not fun. 

He has missed being pregnant so much. The only thing that’ll make it better is Eddie coming home to go through it with him, to help him, to make it easier. 

He still hasn’t heard anything back from the military, but he’s hoping that he’ll get some sort of news soon. He can’t wait any longer. The wait is getting to be too much. 

He needs to know what happened to his husband. He needs to know if his husband is even coming home. He needs to know. 

He can’t wait any longer, especially now that he knows about the baby. 

+++

February 10, 2019

Today, Buck has felt really good. The baby let him sleep through the night without having to make him pee every hour.

(He also had an appointment two weeks ago to just check up on everything, and the baby is healthy. He also got a prescription for anti-nausea meds, and he’s been feeling a lot better now. Thank God.)

So he feels full of energy today. 

“Feeling good today, huh, Buckaroo?” Chimney teases. 

Buck rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Can’t a guy have a good day without being teased about it?”

“Not here, you can’t,” Ravi interjects with a grin. 

Hen laughs, getting Buck to smile.

Today really is a good day.  

As long as Buck doesn’t think about Eddie—which is a very hard thing to do for him, no shock there—he’ll be able to get through today no problem. 

He, of course, thinks about Eddie, but it’s all flashes of happy memories as the team chats about different things. 

He’s still sad that Eddie’s not home, but he’s not letting himself cry today. He’s not going to upset the baby, or he’s going to be throwing up for the rest of the day. 

That has happened one too many times. 

Buck knows one day he’ll have to tell Bobby, but not yet. Buck needs all the money that he can get because he’s raising one kid and growing one if—until—Eddie comes home. 

Not if. Buck can’t let himself think like that. 

He has to keep the baby and himself calm.

He’s definitely calm now, because the team has just gotten back from a long and exhausting call, and he’s worn out. He just wants to sleep. 

Some are heading for the showers, some are heading for the bunks, and a few head upstairs. 

Buck is one of the few to go up to the loft. 

He plops himself down on one of the couches and falls right into a deep sleep. 

+++

Buck wakes nearly two hours later to the smell of delicious food. 

Bobby’s cooking lasagna. 

Buck fucking loves Bobby’s lasagna. 

Seems the baby wants it too with how loud his stomach’s growling and how much they're kicking. 

Buck has to put a hand on his stomach over his shirt to calm them down. I know, little one, I know. He says internally, hopping off the couch, heading towards the kitchen to see if he can help Bobby any. 

Less than an hour later, the team is digging into the lasagna. 

Buck will one day figure out Bobby’s recipe so Eddie, Chris, and the new baby can get a taste of it, too. 

God, it’s so good. 

Now Buck is helping Bobby clean up because the whole dish of lasagna was devoured in a matter of minutes. 

Buck’s not the only one who loves it. 

Buck is wiping off the table when Ravi’s voice calls out to him from behind him. 

“Buck, someone’s here for you. They said that it’s urgent.”

Buck bolts upright, spinning around to look at Ravi. “W-who’s here?”

“Some guy from the Army. That is what he said.”

No no no no no no no. 

Eddie’s dead. That has got to be what’s going on. 

It has to be because what else could it be?

“Fuck,” Buck whispers to himself, walking to the stairs, his hands shaking, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. 

Buck looks around as he’s heading down to see who is here to see him so urgently. 

What he sees nearly takes all his breath from his lungs. 

“Eddie!” Buck shouts, sprinting down the stairs as fast as he can—as fast as a six-month pregnant man can go. 

Eddie looks the same, just a little scratched up, and an arm is in a cast. 

Eddie’s safe. He’s home. 

Eddie breaks out into a smile when he hears Evan yell for him and run for him, dropping his duffel bag from his uncast hand. 

Buck is in tears as he reaches Eddie, pulling Eddie in for a mind-blowing kiss, arms wrapped around the brunette’s waist. 

Eddie’s free hand wraps around Buck’s neck as he kisses his husband back. The husband he thought he’d never see again, the husband he fought to come back to. Not to mention their son, whom he also fought tooth and nail to come home to. 

The kiss goes on for at least a minute before the two men pull back for air and embrace tightly, Buck shoving his head in the crook of his husband’s neck, sobbing into it. 

“I’m here, Ev. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere ever again, baby,” Eddie coos, rubbing Buck’s back. 

Buck weeps, pulling back to meet Eddie’s equally teary eyes. “Thank God. I can’t ever do that again.”

Eddie shakes his head. “You won’t. Never. I promise, amor de mi vida.”

Buck smiles. “God, I missed you.”

Eddie smiles back. “Te eché más de menos.” (I missed you more.)

Buck bites his bottom lip, cheeks turning pink. He’s missed hearing Eddie’s beautiful—and unnecessarily sexy—Spanish. 

The two kiss again, sweet soft kisses this time, holding each other close. 

Bobby clears his throat, interrupting the moment. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Buck smiles sheepishly, pulling back from Eddie. 

But Eddie doesn’t let him go too far because he takes hold of Buck’s hand with his free one, pulling Buck right against his side. 

“Whoa, Buckley’s got game,” Chimney teases, bouncing down the stairs with Hen and Ravi right behind him, both of them shocked. 

Chimney is, too, but he doesn’t want anyone to know that. 

“Who is this, Buckaroo?” Hen asks. 

“Uhm,” Buck hesitates, clearing his throat. “This is my husband…Eddie Diaz.”

Eddie smiles at everyone. “Hi.”

“Husband?!?!?” Ravi, Chimney, and Hen screech. 

Buck smiles bashfully. “Y-yeah…I, uh, didn’t want to tell anyone. It, uh, hurt too much.”

Eddie pecks his cheek. “But I’m home for good now.”

Buck smiles down at his husband. “Yeah.” Then he remembers that he’s pregnant. “Oh my God!” He gasps, his free hand pressed to his mouth, getting everyone’s attention. 

“You okay, Ev?” Eddie asks in worry, squeezing Buck’s hand, giving Buck a quick once-over to make sure nothing looks wrong. (Nothing does.)

Buck nods vigorously, his hand returning to his side. “Mhm. Just gotta talk to you about something important when we get home.”

Eddie nods, brows furrowed anxiously. 

“Well, I can make that easier by letting you head home early, Buck,” Bobby says. 

“Oh my God, thank you, Cap. I’ll also need to change things in my file. I’m sorry that I left stuff out…I just…”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Bobby says kindly. “We’ll work on everything when you come back for your next shift, okay? Just go home and spend time with your husband. You’re not in any sort of trouble.”

Buck loves his captain so much, he’s like the father he never had…well, he has a father, but Bobby is so much better because Bobby actually treats him with respect and cares about him, unlike his biological parents, which is why he doesn’t talk to them and left home as soon as he turned 18.

Buck nods. “Sounds good. Thanks again, Cap.”

“Anytime.” Bobby smiles. “You go home with your husband.”

Buck beams, looking down at Eddie. “Okay, let’s go home now before I explode with excitement or…other things.”

Eddie looks up at Buck and blushes with a smirk. “Good idea.”

“Eeeeeew,” Ravi drawls out while Hen and Chim make fake gagging sounds. 

“Oh, shut up,” Buck bites back playfully. He can’t wait to give Chim shit for this because of how disgustingly in love he is with Maddie and how much he talks about her. “My husband and I will be going home now,” he says proudly, leading Eddie to the locker room so he can change into his civilian clothes and pack up his duffel bag. 

Eddie waits at the doorway for Buck for less than five minutes before Buck is ready to go home. 

“Ready, baby?” Buck asks eagerly, holding out his hand for Eddie to take. 

“Oh, yeah. So ready, Ev.”

Buck giggles as Eddie takes his hand, then he leads them to the parking lot, to the Jeep, and drives them home, Buck resting one of his hands on Eddie’s thigh, squeezing it as they drive. 

“Is this real?” Buck asks as he pulls the Jeep into their driveway. “Are you real? Is this really happening, or am I dreaming?”

Eddie smiles over at Buck. “It’s real. You’re not dreaming. I’m here, baby. C’mon, let’s go inside so we can snuggle.”

Buck smiles, nearly crying. He hasn’t cuddled with Eddie in far too long. “Yes.”

“C’mon, amor.”

The two walk into their house, Buck locks the door behind him as they kick their shoes off, hang up their keys on their hooks, and set their bags down. 

“You’re home,” Buck breathes out in awe as Eddie hangs up his keys in their respective spot. 

Eddie smiles up at Buck. “I sure am, Evan. C’mon, let’s go lie down. I’ve missed our soft mattress.”

Buck snickers. “It has missed you, too. Not as much as me, though.”

Eddie chuckles. God, he’s missed this. 

Buck and Eddie walk hand in hand down the hallway, collapsing right onto their bed, Eddie on his back, Buck lying on Eddie’s chest, careful of the cast. 

“What happened to your arm, Eds?” Buck asks, gently caressing the sling. 

“It got dislocated in the helicopter crash. I'm okay, baby. I promise. It should be healed in a few weeks.”

“That’s good,” Buck says with a nod, his ear resting where Eddie’s heart is, feeling his husband’s heart beat. This is real. Eddie is home. 

Eddie rubs Buck’s back, head resting on Buck’s head, nose in the blonde’s curls. “What did you need to talk to me about, Ev?”

“Hmm?”

“In the firehouse, there was something important you needed to talk to me about.”

“Oh! Right!” The baby!!

Buck sits up and throws his shirt off. 

Eddie looks up at Buck in confusion, but also with love because he hasn’t seen this view in way too long. 

Buck is so beautiful. Eddie has missed him so goddamn much. 

He’s never leaving again. 

“What’re you—”

“Hand,” Buck interrupts, holding a hand out for Eddie. “Gimmie your hand, babe.”

Eddie does, his brows furrowed in bewilderment. “Baby, what are you—”

Buck places Eddie’s palm right on his stomach. 

Eddie gasps when Buck does so, feeling Buck’s stomach, which is more like a baby bump... Wait, is Buck….?

Eddie lightly squeezes the soft flesh. It feels reminiscent of how it felt when Buck was pregnant with Chris. Just not as big. 

Holy shit. “Dios mio, baby,” Edde rasps, eyes locked on Buck’s tummy. 

Eddie wants to get naked with Buck right the fuck now…after a good night’s sleep, Eddie has been on a plane all day trying to get back to his husband, but then, after some good sleep, hell yeah. 

“Wait for it. They’re a big kicker.”

As if right on cue, the baby kicks Eddie’s hand. 

“Oh my God,” Eddie weeps. “Evan.”

The two smile at each other, teary-eyed. 

“H-how?” Eddie asks as he runs his hand up and down Buck’s bump. 

It’s smaller than it was with Chris. Probably because of how much more toned and muscular Buck is now compared to seven years ago. 

“It happened when you were here six months ago.” 

Holy shit. 

I mean, every time Eddie fucks his husband, it’s all he can think about, putting another baby in him. And he did it! He fucking did it!

Buck’s voice cuts off his thoughts. “I was starting to stop taking my birth control because I wanted to be ready for when you got home from your last tour for more babies. Seems my body did not get the memo.”

Eddie laughs wetly, heart soaring. “We’re going to have another baby?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. In a little over three months…I-I haven’t told anyone yet. You’re the first to know.”

Eddie looks up at Buck sympathetically. “I can’t wait to meet them. Do you know the gender?”

Buck shakes his head. “N-no. I’ve got an appointment next week, though.”

Eddie’s brows jump up. “Wanna find out then?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. We also should tell Chris later once he’s home from school.”

Eddie smiles, eyes glossy. “Chris.”

Buck smiles back, placing his hands on Eddie’s face, holding it delicately, stroking his thumbs to Eddie’s cheeks. “He’s going to be so happy to see you, baby.”

Eddie nearly starts crying. “I’ve missed him so much.”

Buck wipes the tears away with his thumbs. “I know, sweetheart. I know. He’s missed you, too. Not as much as me, of course.”

Eddie snorts. “C’mere. Lay back down with me.”

Buck does, snuggling on top of Eddie, careful of Eddie’s dislocated arm, keeping their hands pressed against his belly. 

“I love you so much, Eddie Diaz.”

“I love you too, Evan Diaz.”

Buck misses being called that. He’s going to have to work through that with Bobby next shift. 

He’s not looking forward to that. What he is looking forward to is when his baby comes home. Chris is going to see his Papa, and he’s going to find out that he’s gonna have a baby sibling too. 

Chris is going to be so excited and happy. 

He hasn’t mentioned a baby sibling in a while, so Buck hopes that Chris still wants one…or two…or three. Depending on how many he and Eddie actually want. 

Buck would not mind having a few more after this one. This little miracle has helped Buck stay strong, and he enjoys being pregnant. 

He loves this baby so much, and he can’t wait to meet them. 

+++

Buck’s phone alarm wakes them at 2 pm. 

It’s time to get Chris. 

Buck smiles at the thought as he untangles himself from Eddie’s hold to shut off his alarm. 

Eddie grumbles in protest, wide awake, but not ready to let Buck go yet, when Buck climbs out of the bed and shuts off the obnoxiously loud alarm. 

“We have just enough time to shower before I go get Chris.”

Eddie perks up at that, nearly jumping up out of bed, temporarily forgetting his arm is dislocated. “Ow! Shit!”

“Eddie,” Buck springs into action, helping Eddie get out of the bed. “Did you seriously forget your arm is in a cast?”

Eddie sighs. “Yeah. Got too excited.”

Buck rolls his eyes and laughs, walking with Eddie to their bathroom. 

“I’ve got a plastic covering for your cast somewhere. Do you think you can sit in the bathroom and wait for me and not injure yourself further?”

Eddie groans, taking a seat on the toilet seat lid. “I’ll be fine, baby. Go, go. We have limited time, and I want to spend some time with you naked.”

Buck smiles lovesickly at his husband. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, so goddamn much, mi amor. Now go.”

Buck scurries out of the bathroom and to the hall closet where all of the medical stuff is. He has to dig a bit, but he finds it eventually, and takes one to the bathroom for Eddie, wrapping his casted arm in the plastic covering. 

Buck then turns on the water, letting it warm up as he helps Eddie get undressed, then he sets towels out for them for when they’re finished, then he pulls his clothes off, Eddie watching him very intently. 

“Are you going to stare at me all day or join me in the shower?”

“Shower,” the brunette instantly answers. “Most definitely the shower.”

Buck laughs, grabbing Eddie’s hand, leading them into the shower. 

Before they even start to wash themselves off, they make out slowly and passionately under the water, letting it cascade down their shoulders. 

They eventually shower, Buck, washing all of Eddie off, minus the one arm, and Eddie washes Buck’s back, chest, and stomach because he wanted to feel their baby and talk to them for a minute. 

“Hey, little one, it’s Papa. I’m sorry it took me so long to get back here, to your Daddy, big brother, and you. But I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere. We love you so much, pequeño. And we can’t wait to meet you.” (pequeño, little one)

Buck wipes the happy tears from his eyes. “I love you, Eddie. I’m so glad you’re home.”

Eddie smiles up at his husband, eyes misty, rising to his feet to hug his husband with his uninjured arm. “I love you too, Evan. Now let’s finish up so you can bring our son home.”

Buck smiles, pecking Eddie’s lips, which turns into a full-on make-out session. 

Buck presses against Eddie’s chest, trying to push Eddie off of him, not that he’s pushing that hard in the first place. He really doesn’t want this to end just yet. But he’s got to pick up Chris. “Okay, okay, Eds, time to get out of here and get dressed.”

Eddie pulls back from the kiss. “Good idea. Or we’d be here all day.”

Buck giggles; he’s definitely not against the idea. But they’ve got more important things to focus on right now, their son. “Yeah. C’mon, babe.”

Eddie isn’t much help in the drying process, but he tries. Then the two get dressed in comfortable clothes, sweats and oversized tees. 

Now Eddie walks with Buck to the front door. 

“Make sure you drive safely, okay? I’ll see you both soon.”

Buck grins. “I can’t wait.” He pecks his husband's lips, having to pause for a second before it becomes yet another make-out session. 

“Go, go. We can make out later. Go get our son, baby.”

Buck grins. “Will do! Love you, Eds!” 

“Love you too, cariño.”

Buck flashes Eddie one last smile before closing the door behind him. 

Eddie walks around the house while Buck is gone, and nothing has changed. It’s all the same. Same photos, same furniture, same decor since the last time he was here six months ago. 

Then he gets to Chris’s room. It’s still the same. Minus a few new Lego sets—Buck spoils him way too much with those things—and stuffed animals. But it’s still the same. 

God, Eddie has missed home so much. 

Eddie goes back into his and Buck’s bedroom after a few minutes and sees a box he’s never seen before peaking out from under the bed. 

Eddie walks to it, pulls it out from under the bed completely, and opens it. 

He gasps when he sees what’s inside. 

All of the letters he ever sent to Buck and Chris are in here. Four years' worth of letters. 

Eddie loves his boys so much. 

He closes the box and slides it back under the bed. 

Something to unpack another day. Today is a happy day.

No sad tears today. Only happy tears. 

+++

Chris picks up on Buck’s good mood immediately. 

“What are you so smiley for, Daddy?” Chris asks as Buck buckles him in. 

Buck kisses Chris’s curls. “You’ll see.”

“Okay, Daddy.”

God, Chris is so fucking precious. Buck loves him so much. 

“You’ll love it, baby. I promise.”

Chris smiles. “If you say so.”

Buck kisses Chris’s cheek with a loud ‘mwah’ before closing the door, hopping into the driver’s seat, and driving them home. 

Buck can barely hold in his excitement as they pull into the driveway. 

Buck shuts off the Jeep and looks back at Chris in the backseat. 

“Ready to go in, baby, and see your surprise?”

Chris throws his arms up in excitement. “Yeah!”

“Yeah? Then let’s go! Pile out!”

Chris giggles, unbuckling the seatbelt, waiting for Buck to come around and help him out of the Jeep. 

Buck needs to seriously talk to Eddie about getting a van for all of their kids one day, and for easier access for Christopher. 

Buck holds Chris’s backpack in his hands as he walks with Christopher into their house. 

Once they’re inside, Buck and Chris kick off their shoes and place them in their spots on the rack. Buck hangs up his keys, setting Chris’s backpack down to be dealt with later once they reunite with Eddie and talk about the baby. 

“So, what’s the surprise, Daddy?” Chris asks, looking around the house. 

“It should be around here somewhere!” Buck yells to get Eddie’s attention. 

Eddie walks around the corner a few seconds later, a big smile on his face. “Where’s the party at?” Eddie jokes. 

Chris gasps, turning to look over at Eddie. “Papa!! You’re home!”

Eddie smiles, running to pull Christopher into a hug. “I sure am, mijo. Forever.”

Chris beams, throwing his crutches down, throwing his arms around Eddie’s neck. 

“Be careful of his arm, baby. He got a little banged up,” Buck says gently, smiling teary-eyed at the scene before him. 

Eddie is really home. For good. They’ll never be apart again. 

Eddie pulls Buck into the embrace with Chris, making it a family group hug. 

Once it ends, Buck knows it’s time. 

“Hey, baby, there’s more to your surprise.”

Chris looks over at Buck, flabbergasted. “Really?”

Eddie squats down next to Buck. “Oh, yeah, mijo. It’s a pretty darn good one.”

“Better than you coming home, Papa?”

Eddie chuckles. “I don’t know. Wait until you hear it.” He looks up at Buck. “Go ahead, baby. Tell him.”

Buck smiles at his husband, then down at his baby, sitting down on the arm of the couch. 

“So, remember how you used to say you wanted baby siblings one day?”

Chris nods. “Yeah. I still do. Why?”

Buck places a hand on his stomach over his shirt. “You’re gonna get one, baby.”

Chris gasps. “There’s a baby in there?”

Buck nods, eyes misting up. “Yeah. You know, you used to be in there?”

Chris nods, walking over to Buck, placing a hand on Buck’s tummy, Eddie right behind, smiling down at his boys. 

“They’re in there?”

Buck grins, running a hand through Chris’s curls. “They sure are. Want to talk to them?”

Chris nods, bending down. “Hi, baby sibling. My name is Christopher, I’m your big brother, and I’m always going to protect you.” Chris then kisses Buck’s stomach. “I love you.”

Buck and Eddie are barely holding back the tears as they look down at their son. 

“They love you, too, baby. So much.”

Chris throws his arms around Buck, placing his ear on Buck’s stomach. 

Buck wraps his arms around Chris, holding Chris against him. Buck nods for Eddie to come over. 

The brunette wraps his free hand around Buck’s shoulders, holding his husband close. 

“I love our family, mi amor,” Eddie whispers in Buck’s ear. 

Buck smiles, whispering back, “I love our family too, Eds. I’m so glad you’re home.”

“Yeah, me too.”

+++

A Week Later

Buck and Eddie walk hand in hand into the exam room.

Today they find out about the gender of their baby, their little surprise, miracle baby. 

“Are you excited, Eds?”

Eddie smiles, helping Buck lie down on the bed. “You know it. And Chris is too. He desperately wants to know if he’s having a baby brother or sister.”

Buck chuckles. “Yeah. I can’t wait to give them a name.”

Eddie smiles lovesickly and sits in the chair next to the bed, kissing Buck’s curls, taking hold of one of Buck's hands with his uncasted one. 

Buck starts squirming anxiously. 

“Hey, hey,” Eddie squeezes Buck’s hand to comfort him. “It’s okay, baby. They’ll be here soon. Just be patient.”

Buck rolls his eyes. “I know. I just…I wanna know.”

Eddie brings Buck’s hand to his lips and kisses Buck’s hand. “I know. Me too. But soon. Very soon. We will know. Then we’ll name them, and we’ll get one of those empty bedrooms all set up for them.”

Buck tears up at the thought. “God, I can’t wait.”

“Me either.”

Ten minutes later, the doctor finally came into the room and did the ultrasound. 

Eddie and Buck watch the monitor screen anxiously as the doctor moves the device around

Buck’s stomach. 

“Oh, there they are!” The doctor announces, Buck and Eddie, locking in on the screen, seeing their baby. “And based on what I’m seeing, she looks really nice and healthy. And her heartbeat is normal and strong.”

Buck and Eddie gasp. 

“She?” Eddie whispers. 

“It’s a girl, Eds,” Buck whispers. “Chris is getting a baby sister.”

Eddie laughs, a few tears falling from his eyes. 

“Do you gentlemen want a copy of the picture?”

They both immediately nod. 

“Yes, doctor, that would be great,” Eddie tells her. 

“You got it. I’ll get you a copy. Be back in a few, and the bathroom is right behind me for you, Mr. Diaz.”

“Thank you,” Buck breathes out in relief while Eddie wipes off his stomach. 

The doctor smiles. “Seems your husband has got you covered, so I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Buck says as Eddie helps him get up from the bed

God, Buck hates that he has to have a shit ton of water before ultrasounds. He loves the results, because he and Eddie got to see her, got to see their baby. But this part, he wishes he could skip. 

Once Buck and Eddie get home, they’re greeted by Carla, who watched over Chris while they were gone. 

“Hey, boys, how did it go?”

Buck smiles and holds up the photo, showing it to Carla. “She’s doing so great, Carla. She’s so strong and healthy.”

Carla’s face lights up. “She?” 

Eddie nods, grinning. “She.”

“Ahh!” Carla cheers. “That’s amazing, boys. Can’t wait to meet her.” 

Carla brings them each in for a hug. 

“Chris is in his room doing schoolwork. He’s been impatiently waiting for you two all day to know if he’s having a brother or a sister. So go relieve him and tell him. I’m going to head home for the night. Bye, boys. Love you. Tell Chris I’ll see him Monday after school.”

“Will do, bye, Carla!” Buck waves with a smile. 

“Thank you, Carla!”

Eddie closes the door behind her, then he flashes a smile at Evan. “C’mere, baby.” 

Eddie pulls Buck in by his shirt collar and joins their lips together for messy, passionate kisses. 

Buck moans into the kiss, grabbing Eddie by his waist, pulling them closer together. 

Eddie groans, placing his free hand on Buck’s chest, letting it slide down to Buck’s belly, saying hello to their baby. 

Buck smiles into the kiss when Eddie does so. 

They keep kissing, and Eddie slides his hand up to Buck’s neck, holding him in place, deepening the kiss. 

“I love you,” Buck moans into Eddie’s mouth. 

“I love you too, baby.” Eddie nibbles along Buck’s jaw and neck. 

Buck whines. “E-Eddie, Chris, the baby.”

Eddie pulls back, blushing. “Right…But it’s not my fault that you’re super sexy, and I haven’t been able to kiss you for six months.”

Buck chuckles, cheeks turning pink. “Don’t worry, we’ll catch up on it soon, before our little girl comes.”

Eddie grins, pecking his husband’s lips. “Yeah. We will. C’mon, let’s go talk to our son and tell him the good news.”

Buck can’t hide the giddy smile on his face. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

The two walk hand in hand to Chris’s room, where he’s currently sitting at his desk, working on what looks to be history homework. 

Buck knocks on the half-open door to get Chris’s attention. 

Chris twists around in his chair, looking very excited to see his dads. “Daddy, Papa! You’re back!”

“We sure are, mijo.” Eddie squeezes Buck’s hand, more than enough of a signal for Buck to tell Christopher the happy news. 

Buck releases Eddie’s hand and walks towards Chris. “Want to see a picture of your baby sister, Superman?”

Chris gasps, his eyes going wide. “Sister!?”

Eddie chuckles, walking over to his boys. “Yeah, you’re getting a baby sister, buddy.”

“No way! Can I see?”

Buck leans down and hands Chris the photo, pointing to her in the photo. “You see her, baby?”

Chris beams when he sees her. “Yeah. That’s my baby sister.”

“Sure is. In a little less than three months, we’ll get to meet her.”

“So cool! Don’t we need to get her room ready?”

Buck and Eddie smile at each other. 

“Soon, mijo. Very soon.”

“Yay!”

Buck and Eddie hug their son, making sure the photo of their daughter doesn’t get crushed in the process. 

+++

February 20, 2019

Buck has decided to tell Maddie today about the baby. 

He has already talked to Bobby, updated his file, which was a long process, but it’s all set. After it was all done, he told Bobby about how he didn’t realize he was pregnant again until very recently and that she was very much a surprise. 

Bobby was so understanding about it all and put Buck on light duty until she’s born, then maternity leave until she’s four months old, a good portion will be unpaid, but some will be, which is good enough for Buck. 

He hugged Bobby for a solid five minutes after it all. 

He still hasn’t told the team, but he’s going to tell Maddie first, then he’ll get around to telling them. 

Maddie is still living with him and Eddie, but she has talked about possibly moving in with Chimney, so with the new baby, she’ll probably leave sooner rather than later. 

Buck hopes so. He doesn’t want her to feel stuck in the house with a crying newborn when she doesn’t have to be. 

So there are multiple things to bring up today while Eddie is off at PT for his arm. 

Buck offered to go along for support like he has for practically all of Eddie’s appointments, but Eddie insisted that he just stay home and talk to Maddie because Buck has been stressing over it since he found out about her, so it’s now or never. 

+++

Buck is making a sandwich for lunch when Maddie wanders into the kitchen. 

“Hey, Mads,” Buck greets with a smile.

“Hey, Evan,” she smiles back, walking to the coffee machine to refill her mug. 

Buck decides to not beat around the bush and gets right to the point. “So, I—there’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”

She takes a sip from her cup and moves to stand next to him, her brows lowered. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, absolutely. There’s just….I don’t really know how to say it, but…” Buck takes a breath. “Remember that day you took me to the ER?”

She nods. “Yeah. What about it? You said it was all good and you just needed to rest.”

“Which was true. But not the full truth.”

She’s even more confused. “What do you mean?”

“I-I found out that I’m pregnant. It’s a girl.”

Maddie sets the mug down, her face breaking out into a grin. “Really?”

Buck nods, smiling. “Yeah, I-I didn’t really want to talk to anyone about it until Eddie came home. But he’s home so…”

She throws her arms around him for an embrace. 

Buck hugs her back. 

“This is awesome news, Evan! I’m so happy for you. Seems she didn’t get the memo that you wanted to wait until Eddie came home.”

Buck chuckles. “Yeah. But she anchored me when I thought I’d never see Eddie again. So I’m glad it worked out the way it did.”

“That’s good. Definitely gotta say I love her timing.”

Buck laughs. “Right!” 

“So, guess I should take Howie’s offer to move in,” she mumbles. 

“Wait! He already asked you? When?

“Uhm, on our date Saturday.”

“That was days ago.” Wait. Why hasn’t he heard about this? “Why didn’t you say yes?”

She shrugs. “I wanted to talk to you. But with Eddie being home, you’ve been busy working, taking him to PT I didn’t want to bother you.”

Buck groans. “You should’ve told me. I was stressed about this. Because I didn’t want you to be stuck here with a crying newborn.”

“Oh...” she can’t help herself and laughs, then Buck starts laughing. 

“Definitely needed to communicate that better,” Buck says. 

She nods, still laughing. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll let Howie know, so then I can get out of here and let the three prepare for the little one. How far along are you?”

“Little over six months. Somehow, when Eddie was here last before his last tour, it stuck.”

Maddie makes a disgusted face. “Didn’t need to know that part. But it makes sense since you weren’t taking your birth control.”

Buck nods, taking a bite of his sandwich. “You know I only told you that information so you weren’t trying to pinpoint when it happened or think I cheated or something. I did it for your sake.”

“You could’ve done it in a less disgusting way,” she snickers. 

“True. I guess. But this was more fun.”

“I’d beat you if you weren’t pregnant with my niece right now.”

Buck smiles, hugging her again. “Love you, Mads. So glad you’re here.”

“Yeah. Me too. Love you too, Evan.”

Well, guess there really was no reason to stress, go figure. 

+++

February 22, 2019

They’re finally in a slow part of the shift. It’s been ridiculous call after ridiculous call today, so Buck hasn’t gotten the chance to talk with the team and tell them why he’s on light duty. 

But it seems now is the perfect time to do it. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket. Buck freezes in place. He was heading towards the stairs to tell everyone, he’ll have to hold it for a moment. 

He pulls his phone out of his pocket. It’s Eddie. 

Buck doesn’t hesitate to answer it. 

“Hey, Eds, everything okay?”

“Yeah,” he can hear Eddie smiling. 

“You had your appointment today,” Buck suddenly realizes. “Must be good news with how happy you sound. What did they say, babe?”

Eddie chuckles. “Always happy just talking to you, amor.” Buck blushes. “Anyway, I can get my cast off!”

Buck grins. “Oh my God, baby, that’s amazing!”

“Yeah, so soon it’ll be all healed. Just a few more weeks of PT and I should be all good.”

“That’s amazing, baby! I’m so proud of you! Have you decided on what you’re going to do after you’re all healed?”

Buck and Eddie have been researching all sorts of different job sites to see if Eddie found something he’d like to do because he didn’t go to college, so Eddie has never really thought about what he wanted to do. So they were looking together. Eddie hasn’t found anything yet, or at least Buck thought Eddie didn’t. 

“Well, I was going to wait until you’re home to tell you.”

“No, I’m too impatient for that. You know me!”

Eddie laughs. “I do know you. That’s why I was going to wait.”

Buck whines. “Nooooooo.”

“I’ll come see you, okay?”

Buck gasps, smiling. “Yes, please. Tell me then. I can wait that long.”

Buck can hear Eddie’s eye roll. “Yeah, yeah. See you soon. Love you, Evan.”

“Love you too, Eddie.”

They hang up, Buck pockets his phone, smiles to himself, then heads upstairs to talk to the team, who are all spread out across the loft, doing all different things. 

Bobby’s in the office doing paperwork right now, and Buck is glad they had a one-on-one conversation for it, so he doesn’t have to be here for this one. 

Buck claps his hands, getting everyone’s attention. “Hey, guys, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Hen, Chim, and Ravi walk over to him, all equally confused. 

“What’s going on, Buckaroo?”

“You okay, probie?”

“Yes, I’m fine. I-I just wanted to talk to you guys about something kinda important.” He points to the dining table. “Sit with me?” 

They all agree, each of them taking a seat, eyes locked on the blonde. 

“So, uh,” Buck places his hands on the table, tapping his fingers to it nervously. “You guys remember Christopher?”

“Your son?” Ravi asks. 

Buck nods. “Mhm.”

“He’s one of the cutest kids I’ve ever seen, minus my own, of course,” Hen says. 

Buck smiles at her. 

“What about him, probie? Is he okay?” Chimney asks. 

“Oh, yeah, he’s great. But remember how you guys asked about his mom?”

The three nod simultaneously, getting more and more confused. 

“The reason I said no is because he literally doesn’t have one. I, uh, I have the carrier gene.”

“Oh!” Hen understands immediately. “No wonder he looks just like you and acts just like you.”

“That does make so much sense now!” Ravi adds with a little laugh. 

“Wait…” Chim starts, finally connecting the dots. “So you…”

Buck nods, encouraging Chimney to continue. 

“You were pregnant?” The Asian finally concludes. 

Buck nods, having to bite his bottom lip to hold back his laugh. “Yeah, I was. He’s actually how I found out I had the gene. I had all sorts of symptoms, and Eddie was worried for me, so he took me to the ER, and that’s when we found out.”

“Oh, wow, what a way to find out,” Hen states. 

Ravi huffs. “Definitely. But he turned out pretty cool.”

“Yeah.” Buck smiles. “Chris really did. But, the reason why I’m telling you this is because I found out that I’m pregnant again.”

The three of them gasp. 

“Yeah. Six months. She, uh, decided to make her presence known whenever she wanted to.”

Hen laughs. “You got that right. She’s healthy?”

“Very much so. Eddie and Chris are very excited.”

Ravi smiles, then asks, “Have you talked to Cap yet?”

Buck nods. “Yeah. When we got my file taken care of, I told him. Hence the light duty.”

“Makes sense. Thanks for telling us, probie.”

“Yeah, of course. Thanks for not being weird about it. Some people think it’s strange.”

“We’re first responders, Buck,” Hen tells him. “We’re more than used to it.”

“True. But still, thanks for not being weird about it.”

“‘Course,” Ravi says with a smile. “We’re excited to meet her…and Chris…and Eddie.”

Buck laughs. “Yeah. I bet. Eddie’s actually going to be…”

“There you are, baby,” Eddie’s voice calls from the stairs. 

“Coming to see me today,” Buck finishes, smiling at hearing his husband’s voice. 

Eddie walks over to the blonde, smiling at the three staring at him. 

“Now you’re Hen, Chimney, and Ravi, right? Evan has talked a lot about his nosy co-workers in his letters.”

Hen gives Buck the side eye. “Of course he did.”

“Hey, you got the cast off!” Ravi comments. 

“Yup. Just got it off today.”

“Nice,” Ravi smiles, shaking Eddie’s hand. 

“Ravi, right?”

“That’s me.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

Chim and Hen shake his hand too, chatting with him for a little bit, until Bobby makes his presence known. 

“Eddie, hey, didn’t know you were coming by today.”

Eddie turns to the older man, smiling like they’ve have conversations before. Buck is very confused.. “Uh, yeah. It was a last-minute decision. Wanted to tell Evan the news.”

Buck stands from his chair, even more confused. “Wait. How.. When.. Wh-wh—What is happening?”

Eddie grins slyly, wrapping his arms—because he can use both of them now, as long as he’s careful with the healing one—around his husband’s waist. 

First time he’s done it since he’s been home. 

Eddie has missed it dearly. 

“Well, cariño, I’ve found a job.”

“Wait, really? What?”

“I’m going to be at the Los Angeles Fire Academy once my arm has fully healed and I have clearance to go.”

Buck gasps, spinning around to pull Eddie into an embrace. “No way! That’s amazing, Eds!”

“There’s one more thing,” Bobby says.

“What?” Buck asks, desperate to know. 

“I’ll pull some strings, but by the time Eddie graduates from the academy, you’ll be an official firefighter here, and he’ll be our new probie at the 118.”

Buck doesn’t know what to do other than throw his mouth on Eddie’s, wrapping his arms around his husband. “Seriously?”

Eddie nods, cheeks flushed. “Surprise, baby.”

“I love you so much!” Buck wraps his arms around Eddie’s back. 

Eddie smiles, holding Buck close. “I love you too.”

Buck has never felt more at home. 

+++

Three Months Later

After four long hours of labor, Lucia Rose, which means light and love, Buck and Eddie chose it after what felt like forever of trying to find a name for her, was finally born and welcomed into the world by her two loving dads. 

She’s wrapped in a blanket in Buck’s arms after Eddie cut the cord—just like he did with Chris—and they love her already. 

“She’s so beautiful, Evan,” Eddie says, leaning towards the bed, a hand holding up her tiny head. 

“She really is, Eds.”

“Hello, mija, welcome to the world.”

“Hi, Lucia Rose Diaz.”

Eddie kisses Buck’s sweaty curls. 

“She looks just like you, Eddie. My wish came true. A little girl who has your brown hair and brown eyes.”

Eddie chuckles, eyes tearing up. “Yeah. Now we have one of each that looks like us. I hope she has your mind like Chris does.”

Buck smiles, looking up at Eddie. “I don’t know. Your mind is pretty good, too.”

Eddie plants a kiss on Buck's birthmark. “Not as good as yours.”

A few minutes later, Maddie and Chris walk in to meet Lucia Rose, then Pepa and Abulea. The 118 came by the hospital the next day to meet her. 

Buck loves his family. 

+++

7 Months Later

Buck is lying on his stomach on his and Eddie’s bed, Lucia is passed right out next to him on her stomach.

God, she’s so fucking cute. Buck loves her so much.

Buck is off work today, so he’s relieved Carla of duty today.

Chris is at school, Eddie is at the fire academy today, and he’s going to pick Chris up from school so Buck can stay home with Lucia.

Lucia is seven months old now, her brown hair has grown a lot longer, and it’s got a curl to it, reminiscent of Buck’s hair. Her eyes are just like Eddie’s, and she’s even got the little freckle under her eye just like Eddie does.

She’s the perfect mix of the two. She definitely has Eddie’s sass—the Diaz Sass. 

She’s like a literal princess, too. She sleeps so well. Well, the first two months were rough, like it usually is with a newborn, but then she started sleeping through the night and stopped putting up fights when they would put her down for naps.

God, she’s such a good baby.

Buck can’t help himself and takes a few pictures of her, watching her sleep.

He eventually gives in and lays her on his chest, her not putting up any fight or waking up. 

She sleeps so soundly. 

Buck kisses her hair, which definitely needs to be brushed, and falls asleep, his little princess on his chest. 

+++

A Couple of Hours Later

Buck wakes to the bed dipping with a sudden weight. 

Then he hears a little giggle. 

Chris is home. 

Buck opens his eyes and smiles over at his son. “Hi, baby. Have a good day at school?”

Chris nods, moving to snuggle against Buck’s side, placing a gentle hand on Lucia’s back. “Glad to be home now.”

Buck smiles, planting a kiss on Chris’s curls. “Yeah, I’m glad you’re home too, baby.”

Buck feels Eddie’s eyes on him as he looks at their two babies. 

Buck turns his head and flashes a smile at his husband. Eddie is leaning against the bedroom doorframe, looking at Buck fondly. 

“Hi, mi amor.”

“Hi, Eds. How was the academy today?”

“Tiring as always. But a good day. I’m near the end.”

Buck beams. “Can’t wait to work with you, baby.” They’ll be partners in the field and in life. Now that sounds like a dream come true.

But it won’t happen for a month or two, at most. 

Eddie then walks over to the bed, sitting at the edge. “Me neither. How’s she been today?” Eddie delicately plays with her brown curls as she sleeps soundly, not moving one bit.

“So good. As always.”

Eddie beams, kissing Buck’s head, then Lucia’s.

Chris stares at his baby sister, clearly thinking about something. 

“What’s on your mind, mijo?” Eddie asks, running a hand through the boy’s messy golden curls. 

“I want another sibling.”

Eddie and Buck laugh, accidentally waking Lucia. Eddie picks her up, kissing her chubby cheeks, getting her to giggle. “Hi, mija!” He blows a raspberry on her cheek, making her laugh loudly. 

Her laugh is so cute. 

Buck watches Eddie with so much affection, wrapping his arms around his son. Now that she’s off his chest, he can properly snuggle with his Superman.

“Someday you’ll have another sibling or two, mijo,” Eddie says,  bouncing Lucia in his lap, her smile brighter than the LA sun. 

“How soon?” Chris whines. 

Buck smiles into Chris’s curls.

Sooner than you think, Buck wants to say, thinking about the positive pregnancy test that’s in his top nightstand drawer right now.

+++

The Next Day

Buck’s been watching Eddie’s location ever since he got the text: finished up at the academy for the day, heading home now! ❤️ love you baby! 😘

Buck’s holding the pregnancy test behind his back, waiting by the front door as soon as he saw Eddie turn down their street, Lucia sound asleep in her room, the baby monitor on the coffee table. 

The front door opens less than two minutes later, Eddie smiling as soon as he sees Evan waiting for him. 

“Have a good day?” Buck asks.

Eddie nods, setting down his duffel bag. “Yup. Only a week to go, then partners on the field along with partners in life.”

Buck beams. “Can’t wait. I-I’ve got something for you.”

Eddie smirks, kicking his shoes off, stepping towards his husband. “What is it, baby?”

“Hold out your hands.”

Eddie’s brows furrow, but he does so, pressing them together, making a place for Buck to set the test on. 

Buck slowly pulls the test from around his back and lays it in Eddie’s hand. 

Eddie’s eyes go wide as he gasps. “Oh my God!” The brunette wraps his arms around Buck, throwing his mouth on the blonde’s. “I love you so fucking much.”

Buck smiles into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Eddie’s neck. “I love you too.”

“Chris is going to be so excited.”

Buck nods, biting his bottom lip. “Especially considering he was practically begging for one yesterday.”

Eddie snorts, nuzzling his nose to Buck’s neck. “The test was already positive, wasn’t it? Yesterday.”

Buck nods, giggling. “Yeah.”

Eddie holds Buck tighter. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Eds.”

Chris is elated when he’s home and hears the news. 

He can’t wait to meet his new baby sibling.

+++

Three Years Later

Today, Buck is doing a grocery run with the kids while nearly eight months pregnant. Eddie’s off at work, going to be at home by the time Buck gets home to help unload the groceries and kids from the van. 

(They got a minivan when Lucia turned a year old, Buck four months pregnant with Isabel, Izzy, at the time. It makes things so much easier for Chris. So worth the overtime.)

Chris is pushing the cart, his crutches in the cart as he uses it for support, Izzy is in the child seat, Lucia is in the basket, eager to help her Daddy in any way she can, while Buck pulls the cart, but at a speed that is good for Chris, leading them to where they need to go, giving Chris directions when they need to make a turn.

It’s chaotic, but in the best way. 

Some people give him odd looks, but he pays them no mind and focuses on getting the items on the list and keeping an eye on his kids. 

The one in his stomach, Daniel, Danny, the last one, then all of the spare rooms in the house will be filled with his and Eddie’s babies. 

Buck and Eddie can’t believe that they’re finally here, or that their oldest baby is about to turn eleven next month. 

Lucia just turned two, and Izzy is a year and a half now. 

The older Lucia gets, the more and more she looks like Eddie. The only Buck traits are her curly hair and the way her mind works. 

Izzy is an even mix of the two. She’s got Eddie’s eyes, Buck’s hair, Buck’s birthmark, and Eddie’s skin tone. Her mind works in a fun way, definitely a mix of both Buck and Eddie. She does have to wear glasses because she doesn’t have the greatest sight. But she pulls them off perfectly. They make her look even more adorable than she already is. 

Buck doesn’t care what Danny looks like, as long as he’s healthy. 

Buck can’t wait for the future, especially because he knows Eddie will always be by his side, on the field and at home. 

He couldn’t have asked for a better life.