Work Text:
Grian always brought his first dates to the same diner where his favourite waiter seemed to always be able to sniff out what was wrong with whoever was with him.
or.
5 times Taurtis’ judges Grian’s dates, and one time Taurtis is judged.
1.
Tuesday night, at five fifteen sharp, Grian stepped into the dinner. Just like he did every Tuesday.
It was the best place to grade papers, thought that wasn’t what he was doing that Tuesday.
The man was already sitting at one of the booths. It wasn’t the booth Grian always picked, but no one was perfect he supposed.
Taurtis was already taking his drink order when Grian shimmied into the opposite side of the booth.
“I’ll bring those right out for you both.” Taurtis said, clicking his pen once. The man across from him didn’t see their waiter raise his eyebrows at Grian before heading off to the drink station.
“I hope you don’t mind,” The man, Oliver, said. “I just got you a water. I wasn’t sure what you might want.” He was earnest, and Grian cut him some slack, even if he hated when people ordered for him.
“No worries, how was traffic?”
Quiet small talk filled their corner of the diner, only pausing briefly for Taurtis to set down their drinks. A coffee for Oliver, and a strawberry milkshake for Grian.
“I asked for a water—”
“Hmm?” Taurtis pretended he couldn’t hear and Grian did his best to hide his smile. “What can I put in for you, sir?”
“Uhm.” Oliver stalled for a moment, but just went along with it all. Point in his favour. “I’ll have the soup special. Grian?”
“The number seven, please.”
“We’ll have that out for you soon.” Taurtis once again looked like he had something to say, but held it in, only shooting another judge-y look in Grian’s direction.
“So, you work at the university? What do you do? Administrative paperwork and such?”
“I teach, actually.”
“Oh, wow.” Oliver added cream to his coffee, stirring it as he spoke. “What do you teach? Literature?”
“Architecture.”
Oliver smiled, apparently impressed. “That’s so interesting! Tell me about it?”
So Grian did.
One might expect Grian to leap at the opportunity, but he didn’t teach architecture alone, his class was more specialized. Architecture and Oppression was a class that primarily focused on how people (usually governments and fortune 500 companies) used architecture to evoke a certain emotion in those looking at it and why. It was a bit hard to explain without a solid base in history across subjects along with architecture.
He did his best to go over the basics, but like most people, brutalist architecture didn’t interest Oliver too much.
“You said on your profile you work in management?” Grian offered the out, and Oliver took it.
Grian knew the verdict before Taurtis even said anything.
Oliver had left a few minutes prior, Grian staying with the excuse of having papers to grade, and Taurtis had barely bothered to finish wiping the counters down before he sat himself across from Grian where Oliver had sat.
Grian beat him to it.
“No second date?”
“He ordered soup and coffee, dude. How could his mouth even tell the difference?”
“I didn’t even know you guys sold soup.”
“It’s from a can, anyways you’re correct, you can’t go on a second date with him.”
Grian’s head thudded on the table. “Why do you have to be right?”
Taurtis stole Grian’s cup, drinking the last of his shake. “My bad, I can encourage you to date whoever you bring in next, regardless of how boring they are if that’ll help?”
Grian lifted his head a few inches just to let it drop back down. Taurtis only laughed at his misery.
2.
He didn’t know what was wrong with his latest date, but Taurtis absolutely hated the guy. Which was significant in the fact that Taurtis didn’t really hate anyone.
Get crossed or annoyed? Yes. But hate? Taurtis was too considerate for it, too thoughtful of other people’s circumstances to hold too much of a grudge. Even the worst customers at the diner were treated with more respect than they deserved. But that was who Taurtis was, one of the things Grian always appreciated about his friend.
The fact that Grian considered him a friend at all was telling about Taurtis’ personality. Grian was picky with his friends. He didn’t have many, but he trusted the few he had with his life. Or his love life, as the case varied.
That was why at the end of dinner, Grian told the man across from him that he wasn’t interested in a second date, much to the man’s confusion. They’d hit it off, it must’ve been a bit of a shock.
Except Taurtis had gone so far as to shake his head at Grian in front of the man, and that meant Grian would not be seeing him again.
“So what’s wrong with this one?” He was shrugging his coat on over his cardigan as Taurtis leaned against the table, not even pretending to do his job. Another sign that this was serious.
“His wife gave us the recipe for the dish he ordered.”
Grian froze with only one arm in a sleeve. “Holy shit, really?”
Taurtis nodded, staring out the window watching the guy get in his car and pull out of the parking lot. “I have her number, thank god—”
“I’ll do it.” Grian dug into his pocket to retrieve his phone and hand it to Taurtis. “Could you add her number? It should be me, since I’m the Other Woman.”
Taurtis did so, ranting all the while about how sweet the woman was, and how he’d never liked the guy in the first place.
Grian thanked the universe, not for the first time, that his friend was such a good judge of character.
3.
He was more hopeful about this date than he’d been in a while. He and Andy had hit it off, and even Taurtis held back a smile at a few jokes he’d overheard.
Sometime close to the end of the date, Taurtis stopped smiling, though. Grian knew well enough that he must’ve noticed something, even if he himself, for the life of him, could not fathom anything being wrong with this guy.
It was just after Andy ordered them desert to share that Grian’s phone buzzed.
Apparently Taurtis had added his number to Grian’s phone after his last disaster date.
Taurtis-
He called his mom when you went to the bathroom. He’s a lost cause.
Grian winced and subtly looked over to Taurtis, who was already looking in his direction, nodding with an uncomfortable look on his face.
Taurtis-
It was really weird, dude. And I only heard half of the convo :(
Enough said.
4.
Of all his friends, the one most entertained by Grian’s horrid love life was Scar.
Scar, equally as single, should have absolutely nothing to say about Grian’s dates, and yet:
“And he’s always right about it? He’s never called you at the end of the day to say he’d made a mistake, maybe one of the guys wasn’t quite as awful as he thought?”
Grian sighed, leaning back in his chair. Scar was in his chair that day, having pushed himself too far the past few days, both of them had known a flare up was inevitable.
Whenever Scar brought his chair he just shared Grian’s office, since his own was a few floors up and the elevator was always broken, so Grian had made room at his own desk ages ago.
“He’s always right.” He confirmed.
Scar hummed in thought. “Are you sure you don’t just have bad taste?”
Grian glared at his friend, who was staring right back at him, chin propped on fist. He looked away first. “Maybe a bit, but even when the guy’s nice he finds something out about him.”
“Well, then.” There was a gleam in Scar’s eye that Grian didn’t like. It always preluded some scheme that would get them both in trouble on way or another. “I humbly invite you on a platonic date. Same time. Same place. I need to know how compatible we are, and I only trust this Taurtis of yours.”
Grian stared at his wall for a long moment, pursed his lips in thought, before finally shrugging.
“Fine.”
As his friend cheered, Grian silently mourned his night of grading.
Taurtis seemed to love Scar.
Grian didn’t know why it bothered him, really. He should be overjoyed, even if he wasn’t interested in Scar like that. At least it proved that Taurtis’ standards could be met, right?
It made complete sense, actually. They were so similar. They both got so focused on what they were doing they forgot everything else. Both gave too many people the benefit of the doubt. They were both kinder than they had any right to be. Neither could stand being too serious for too long. It was antithetical to who they both were. Void, Grian had even befriended them both in the same way.
Both of them had seen Grian struggling and had helped no matter how much Grian insisted he was fine.
But it didn’t sit right for some reason.
Dinner slouched on, and Scar hugged Grian goodbye, whispering in his ear: “Thank I got the green light?”
Amused despite himself, Grian rolled his eyes. “See you tomorrow.”
“Parting is such sweet sorrow.” Scar winked.
He could hear Taurtis’ muffled laughter somewhere behind him.
He watched Scar leave, staring after him for longer than he needed, nearly jumping when Taurtis rested a hand on his shoulder.
“It always sucks when you can’t see yourself dating someone, but can see being friends. Must be extra weird since you work together.” He froze, then slowly turned over his shoulder and up at Taurtis, who almost looked a bit put out on Grian’s behalf. “Like, he was great. Everything your partner should be, but there just wasn’t a spark. That I noticed, at least.” He waited for Grian to banter back, like he always did when Taurtis didn’t approve of someone. He didn’t. “Shit, did you feel a spark? Because ultimately if you like the guy, you like the guy, I don’t want to over step any bound—”
“Scar and I have been friends for years.” Grian slowly said, thoughts swirling in his mind. “I don’t think I could ever date him.”
Taurtis slumped in relief. “I thought you were about to tell me to shove off.”
He quirked a smile. “Why would I tell you that? You’ve never been wrong.”
“Yeah, but not everyone actually likes being told over and over again that their date isn’t right for them. And Scar really was great. I just… I couldn’t imagine you two as a couple.”
Finally, Grian laughed, leaning back into Taurtis’ hand that was still on his shoulder. “Me neither!”
“I’m sure he’ll understand. Seems like a good guy.”
“He is. It’s no wonder you like him so much, Tar, you’re basically the same person.”
Taurtis looked at him oddly for a moment, than smiled warmly. “I dunno, I think I might be funnier.”
He felt warm, like he always did with Taurtis. Had since the first time Taurtis had introduced himself and interjected himself into Grian’s life.
He was great. Everything your partner should be, but there just wasn’t a spark.
Grian felt the spark, then.
Shit.
5.
Grian could admit when he was wrong. Maybe not out loud, but in the privacy of his own mind he could be a man and acknowledge that hey, bringing in another date for Taurtis to judge wasn’t the best idea when he knew he had feelings for Taurtis and not the man who he couldn’t even remember the name of.
It was a disaster.
Grian had been late, and that hadn’t been his fault, at least. One of his students, Tommy, had needed to ask about an extension, and no date with a random guy would ever be as important as his students—
It was an easy choice to be late if he could make sure Tommy felt more confident in his presentation for Thursday.
So he was late, and when he’d walked in, Taurtis had been chatting with the man who might’ve been Bryan, or Ryan, or Cyan for all Grian knew.
There were no big red flags with that, but hearing Taurtis just reminded him of how stupid this whole date was when Grian knew exactly who he wanted and knew he couldn’t have.
“Oh, there you are!” The man stood to greet him with a smile, the absolute picture of geniality. “Grian, right? I’ve never heard that name before, does it mean anything?”
He stumbled through some small talk, and the worst part?
The guy was fantastic. Like, the blueprint for someone you brought home to meet your parents. Not that Grian had ever been concerned about that, but Bryan (or Ryan, or maybe Cyan) was delightful, and Grian couldn’t handle it.
The bad situation was only made worse when Bryan (maybe) leaned across the table with a small frown while Taurtis was in the kitchen doing something or another.
“Are you alright? I’m sorry if I’ve made you at all uncomfortable—”
“I’m in love with our waiter!” Grian slapped his hand across his mouth and shrunk back on his side of the booth. “I’m in love with him, and I have been for I don’t know how long and I’m so sorry, this was so awful of me, I probably deserve a good slap if you want, I would totally understand, I’ve wasted your time and led you on, and this was so stupid of me—”
The man across from him stared at him for a few seconds, appearing to do some math in his head.
It was that moment Taurtis came out the swinging doors with their food.
Bryan lost it, laughing.
“No, no, I’m sorry, mate, I really shouldn’t laugh—” He nodded his thanks at Taurtis as the food was set down in front of them, fully ignoring Taurtis’ confused look in favor of glancing at Grian and falling into laughter again.
It was only when Taurtis was out of hearing range he reached over, took one of Grian’s hands in his, and spoke.
“This is just about the loveliest date I’ve been on, and I do hope you tell me if you two ever get together.” He let Grian’s hand go. “That being said, that may be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Do you mind starting from the beginning?”
Bryan was a good listener, and he always made some new conversation up when Taurtis came to check on them.
Taurtis, for his part, kept frowning whenever he thought Grian wasn’t looking. It was a good thing Grian wasn’t going to have a second date with this man, because it seemed he didn’t meet Taurtis’ standers anyway.
“Grian, you’re absolutely lovely, I said earlier, but I really did mean it. You’re a professor, you’re very attractive, and you’ve known him for ages. Why haven’t you just asked him out?” He paused. “Oh, no. Did you and he said no?” He gasped. “Buddy, it’s his loss—”
“I haven’t asked him.”
“Why not?”
Grian didn’t have an answer for that.
When Bryan stood to leave, just as Taurtis was meant to start closing down, Grian stood as well. “We should do this again.” Bryan began. “Not as a date, but you’re fun, and I really want to hear more.”
“Alright, alright.” Grian crossed his arms, but smiled hesitantly. Maybe he could get another friend out of this. “I’ll text you?”
“I’ll be waiting.” Bryan grinned. “It was great to meet you, Grian.”
“You too, Bryan.”
The man froze, holding in a laugh. “My name’s Scott.”
“Oh.”
Scott waved it off, laughing to himself as he left, calling one last thing as he left the diner.
“Don’t forget to text!”
With everything over, the absurdity of the night hit him and he found himself laughing to himself as well.
When Taurtis joined him at his booth he seemed hesitant to do so.
“He was really nice.” Taurtis finally said, staring down at the table.
Even though he agreed, he was confused. “I thought you didn’t like him? You were frowning at him all night.”
“I was?”
Grian nodded, a bit bemused. “You were. So you don’t hate him?”
Taurtis said nothing for a long moment. “You two fit well together.” He couldn’t help it, he was laughing all over again at the absurdity. “What? Grian, what? He’s charming, cute, and you two were practically cuddled up all night, talking quietly and stuff. It was like you were in your own little world, I know I’m harsh on the guys you bring in, but… I’m… glad… you’ve finally met someone you mesh with.”
Taurtis looked a bit like he’d been forced to eat a lemon, and his laughter pattered out. “I could never date Scott.” He leaned back against the booth. “I’m done with this whole thing, bringing boys ‘round for you to judge. I don’t know why I brought Scott, I already know who I’m into, and no offense to Scott, but it’s not him.”
“You’ll still do grading here, though?”
“Of course.” Grian smiled warmly at Taurtis, who wasn’t meeting his gaze. He frowned, leaning forward. “What’s wrong?”
“You already ‘know who you’re into?’”
Grian swallowed. “Yeah.”
“It’s not Scar, is it?”
Oh.
He stood from the booth, and waited for Taurtis to join him.
“In no way am I attracted to Scar.” He assured.
“Then who? It can’t be Mumbo, and you don’t talk enough about anyone else for it to be—”
Grian reached a hand to rest on Taurtis’ cheek, and his eyes went wide, pupils dilating as they met his. “Can I kiss you?”
Taurtis kissed him nearly before he’d finished asking, wrapping an arm around Grian’s waist, the other tangling in his hair as he kissed Grian like he was sure he wouldn’t get another chance.
“Please, tell me it’s me?”
Taurtis had barely pulled away to ask, and didn’t give Grian even a moment to respond before his mouth was on him again, tugging Grian’s hair gently to pull his head back so Taurtis could kiss the underside of his jaw.
“It’s you.” Grian managed to get out between the sighs and gasps Taurtis was pulling out of him.
“Brilliant.” Taurtis pulled back again, pressing a softer kiss to Grian’s lips before speaking. “I really don’t want to be presumptuous, but I would love to continue this somewhere else.”
“Mine or yours?”
“Yours?”
“Done. You don’t need to do anything else here?”
Taurtis laughed, kissing Grian’s cheek with more tenderness than should be possible considering how they had been moments before. “No, we can head out. You walked here from campus, right? We can take my car.”
“Not feeling very patient?”
Taurtis tugged at his hair. “I have been patient. You have no idea how patient I’ve been.”
Grian’s mouth went dry. “Alright, then.”
+1
Grian thought it was impressive he was only ten minutes late to his lecture.
He had a gorgeous man in his bed who hadn’t wanted to let Grian go in the morning, let alone let him leave for his 8 AM class.
It was a wonder he hadn’t canceled class, actually. Maybe he should have. He had been up late and-
He got through the class on auto pilot, and Wednesdays were never all that busy for him, so maybe he could head back to his flat until his next class and—
“Grian? I’m sorry to bother you, mate, but do you think we could get lunch together? I’ve been bored out of my mind all morning— is that a hickey?!”
He tugged the collar of his shirt up, but it was too late, Mumbo had seen and now was going to descend on him like a piranha.
“Hickey? No, that’s silly.”
Mumbo sat across from him, pulling out his lunch with an expectant look on his face. “I know what I saw, and I suggest you tell me before I tell Scar.”
So Grian did.
Grian’s phone rang as he was about to step into his next class. Taurtis’ name flashed in the caller ID.
“Taurtis? Is everything alright?”
“Your friend, Mumbo, he just came into the diner, and he won’t stop glaring at me, Gri. I only met him a few months ago, I don’t know why he’s—”
Grian let his head impact with the door frame of the lecture hall. “He’s going to give you a shovel talk, Tar. Sorry, he just saw a hickey, and—”
“Oh thank fuck. I thought it was something serious.”
Grian laughed lightly. “Still, sorry he’s bothering you, love. I can call him if that would help?”
“No, no, it’s alright. I just… is this what those guys felt like whenever you’d bring them in? Because I feel a bit like I’m being tested here.”
“It might be,” Grian teased. “But something tells me you’ve already passed with flying colours.”
“Whatever you say, oh! How would you like to do dinner tonight? I’d love to get you something other than diner food for once.”
“Sounds perfect.”
“I’ll see you at 7, then?”
“It’s a date.”