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Ilya was pacing around the living room, speaking wildly into the phone. Shane was watching him, looking from the paused movie to him. He wondered what he was saying, he looked stressed. His hand was mused into his hair as he speaks. Shane doesn’t even know who he’s speaking to which is somehow worse.
They’re supposed be watching Nemo today. Ilya promised. Shane rubbed his eye, still watching how Ilya’s voice slowly grew louder. He didn’t like that, he covered his ears and sucked harder on his pacifier. Who was he even talking to? He hadn’t seen him like this since his father died.
“Ilya?” It has that known lisp, but Ilya looks at him, pressing his finger to his mouth in a shushing expression. Shane could feel himself pout. Ilya knew today was their day, not anyone else’s. Certainly not whoever was making Ilya’s voice grow louder, wasn’t their day either.
“Ilya?” He asks again. He smiles when Ilya comes closer, runs his hands in Shane’s hair, but he doesn’t hang up. He does lower his voice at least. He’s pulling at his hand, he wants to cuddle and start the movie up again. When their hands release he expects Ilya to hang up immediately, instead he’s given the single finger again: one more minute.
He groans, throwing himself back on the couch. He makes a couple noises of frustration trying to get his attention. He has it, but the glare Ilya is giving him is terrifying. He groans a little quieter, not liking the glare.
“Ilya?” He goes to get up and at least he is touching his hand now. He knows the word that was just said! Goodbye. When Ilya finally looks over at him Shane doesn’t get those warm fuzzy feelings.
“Shane. I need a minute.” Okay, he’s had like twenty minutes.
“Ilya.” He stands up now in an attempt to pull Ilya towards him.
“Shane, one minute.” He’s trying to walk away from him so he holds on tighter.
“Ilya. Nemo.” He looks back to the tv.
“I can hit play, I’m off phone now.” Ilya relents a little, walking back over and turning it on. He goes to walk away from Shane.
“Ilya!” He’s looking at his phone.
“Oh. Sorry. Am I in the way?” He moves further away.
“Ilya! Movie!” He gets up to grab him and he hears a sharp breath being taken.
“I hear you Hollander! Fuck! I know! I need five goddamn minutes!” Shane scrambles back, Ilya was rubbing his temple.
“Ilya?” He whispers it.
“Let’s just act our age for five fucking minutes, Hollander. Please. I beg of you.” Shane’s pacifier fell out of his mouth, when it hits the floor Ilya swears under his breath. Shane can feel the hot tears coming to his eyes.
“Shane.” Ilya says it softly now, but Shane has taken off up the steps. It’s stupid, really. It is and he knows it. They’re in their twenties, something clearly was stressful, but Ilya always said it was fine. What Shane did was fine. It’s how Shane relaxed. Hot tears are falling down his face and he slides down the door, curling in on himself.
“Shane.” Is said from the otherwise of the door. Shane places his thumb instead of getting up to find another pacifier. He’s realizing he left wolf bird, puck, and blankie in front of the tv too. He left everyone.
“Shane, мой ребено. Open the door please.” Ilya said to act his age and he has the audacity to call Shane his baby?
“No!” He screams it, he shouldn’t, but he does. He hears Ilya’s head knock against the door.
“Please, Shane. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it.” Ilya tells him.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, no мой ребено. I’m sorry.” He reassures.
“No.” He sniffles, scrubs at his face as tears continue to fall. He hears Ilya’s head hit the door gently again before a soft song is being hummed on the other side.
“May there always be sunshine, may there always be blue skies. May there always be mummy, may there always be me. May there always be sunshine, may there always be blue skies.” He wipes his eyes some, it’s not loud, it’s quiet. Like Ilya knew the words from childhood and Shane finally pulled the door open.
“What song is that?” He asks, sitting back on his feet.
“Called May There Always Be Sunshine.” Ilya looks upset too.
“They sang it in Russia.” Shane says, he doesn’t want to crawl over to Ilya, but he wants held. He hopes Ilya still holds him.
“Yeah. They did. During the opening ceremony.” He agrees and lets Shane crawl in his lap.
“It feels ominous.” He mumbles behind his thumb as he adjusts how he wants held. Ilya at least laughs at the statement.
“We sang it in school, it was ominous, yes.” He kisses Shane’s head.
“I’m sorry.”
“No, мой ребено. I am sorry. I said today was our day.”
“But you had a call I should have listened.”
“I was an asshole. It happens, I’m sorry, please act like you.” There’s peppered kisses on his face making Shane laugh.
“Can we watch Nemo?”
“We can watch whatever you want.” Shane crawls out of Ilya’s lap and waiting for him to stand up.
“Who called?” He reaches his free hand out to Ilya.
“Ah, my brother.” Shane feels worse now.
“I’m sorry.”
“What? Why?”
“He’s mean.” Ilya laughs again.
“He’s a dick, yeah.”
“Can we cuddle?” They sit back down, but Ilya stands back up.
“Yes. I’m not leaving you, I need to wash paci.” He watches him go and picks up his other friends in an attempt to get comfortable again.
“You’re not mad at me?” He asks as Ilya sits back down.
“I needed a break, but sometimes we don’t get those.”
“What’d you talk about?” He takes back his pacifier.
“Russia.”
“Something bad?”
“Not horrible, but I’m worried.” Shane crawls to lay a certain way on Ilya’s chest.
“You can call him back.”
“I’d rather kiss Pike.” Shane squawks after Ilya says it.
“Really?”
“He’s that miserable.” He kisses the button of the pacifier.
“Sounds awful.”
“So awful,” Ilya agrees, “now watch movie.” Shane snuggled closer, watching the screen showing colorful fish.