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There is a heave, a jingle jangle under a paper fake moon in a paper fake garden. It hurts is all Kaneeka can think. There is the ringing out the buzzing of insects, like they are on a record on repeat that's skipping and skipping. Her body isn't her own. Kaneeka wants to scream and rip away and struggle and call for her dad like she's a little girl again. She wants to cry but she can't. Her hands are glued to her lap, folded politely as she stands. Her spine is tight, her body feels like it's a sheet of melted sugar. Fragile like it might shatter but her muscles are so tight and tense.
She tries to wail as Tabitha Scarlet comes up. But those aren't the noises ripped out of her throat. It feels much too raw and scratchy, she can't swallow and can't breath.
“You poor dear. I've been keeping track of you, scuttling around town like a tomcat. You've fallen hard for Miss Edwardine, haven't you?” and it comes out in a tone that Kaneeka knows has never fallen from her lips ever before. It's smooth, confident and deep in a way she knows she's never been able to capture. Not even in college after a few drinks. She knows she's tried. It hurts this time, not like the times she's tried. The words are ripped hard from her throat. She isn't herself, she's someone different. She wants to cry and yell at Tabitha Scarlet, claw at her and say this is all her fault. She knows it's not, Tabitha Scarlet didn't even want to be here.
Then more words come. She can't stop them. Her neck cracks to the side, hard. Not far but it snaps into something knowing and cocky. Kaneeka is a person who is conniving at this moment, she isn't herself. Why can't she be herself? She wants to be herself so badly at this moment. She wants to be small and grabbing at her mom's skirt again.
Her hand cracks up to her breast, resting condescendingly. Kaneeka can feel the grind of her bones, she tries to move. She can't even get her fingers to twitch. The next words spill out with a ghost of a smile, ripped out hard.
“There's no need to be embarrassed. Your secret is safe with me.”
Tabitha Scarlet in front of her just looks confused. Eyes wide and brows up, and seems even more scared as the next words are ripped from Kaneeka's body.
“You know… I never did approve of what the Scarlet's did to your family. And what it did to the two of you young'uns.” She tries to breathe after the words are torn out of her throat but she can't. For Kaneeka it's like there's a lump in her throat that's not even cleared when she is forced to speak in a voice that isn't her own anymore. With each word and each sound, there is less and less breath in her lungs. Kaneeka's chest feeling tighter and tighter and her body moves on her one with the sound of creaking. Like bark being torn from a tree, but it's her bones grinding and her taut muscles being forced into other positions. Pulling what's taut even tighter, it feels like she's started to rip. She wants to breathe and cry and curl up under a blanket with Stella and Reese when a part too scary in a movie came up when they were too young to see any of it. It's unfair. Tabitha Scarlet seems to be free, stepping to be on the backfoot as she seems to be working something out in her head.
“Childhood sweethearts… just think how lovely it would be if you could just be happy together. That's what you want, isn't it?” Kaneeka speaks, why does it have to be more words? She can barely breathe and her body aches and she wants to pass out from exhaustion. The tears won't even fall. She wishes the tear would at least fall.
More words spill as her body reaches a hand out.
“I'm sure by now you've realized the young lady doesn't plan on leaving with you. But that's not for lack of desire, as you well know.” Her body mimes taking a breath, Kaneeka isn't even sure if any air even gets pulled into her lungs as her hand shifts into a motion of something dismissive and a polite smile is forced on her face. Her muscles ache, tight in her face and face. Teeth pressed so tight it feels like they might shatter into powder against themselves.
“It's Enoch. Even if you dragged her over the town limits, his hold over her would make sure neither of you were ever happy again.” The tear of the words hurt, Kaneeka doesn't even know who Enoch is? Edwardine sounds more familiar but she can't quite put her finger on it through the pain of her body. She tries to brace herself as she feels her body move, hands covering her heart in some pained fake sympathy. Then the next words come, she isn't sure how much air she has left, in her puppeted body her vision starts to blur at the edges. The pressure of speech but no air hurts so bad.
“Just think of what happened to your poor mother and father…do you want that to be the two of you?” Her body's hands cross back over her body again. Her body waited a moment like it was letting someone respond. Then it spoke again, her vision blurring more. Her lungs hurt, her body hurt. It felt like everything was being torn or stretched beyond it's limits.
“The powers at work here are stronger than even your love could withstand. You need to break the bonds holding her here. Then you can both go free.” The noise of the bugs and the jingle of them was just a buzz behind the way her body hurt and ached.
More words, why. Why more words. Kaneeka just wanted to fall to her knees and curl up and cry. It's all she wants.
“No more misfortune. Not for you, not for anyone else bold enough to step foot outside the Holler.” then her body pretends to hold something out, fingers feeling like the muscles are spasming under skin. Bones feeling like they are shattering as more words spill and are ripped out her throat again.
“Everything you need to know is on that map.” her body then stands still for a few moments too long. Waiting like someone is talking. Then she speaks again. Kaneeka hates this.
“That's where you'll find them. You need her there, then read what I've written down. And be careful. Good luck to the both of you. I hope you get your happiness.”
It's the last thing as the words are ripped from her body before she loses consciousness.