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“Skuttle! Thistlespring! You’re paired up today!” barked Coach Gorthalax as he called out groups of two for drills during the bloodrush team’s first practice. Gorgug groaned as he got up from the bench and made his way out into the field, the kobold following right behind him.
Why me? Why her? he thought.
Once all the teens were paired up, Gorthalax blew his whistle, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Alright, we’re going to do tackle drills first! Take turns running into each other and trying to stop the other!”
Gorgug looked down at Mary Ann, who had taken the brief interlude to pull out a little electronic device on a keychain and fiddle with it. It beeped.
“Do… do you want to tackle me first, or should I go?” he offered, trying to remain calm.
“I don’t care,” she replied, never taking her eyes off the toy.
“I guess you can tackle me first.” He was ready this time; Gorgug wasn’t going to let her outshine him like she did during tryouts.
“‘K.” She walked the length of the drill space, playing with her toy as she did. Gorthalax blew his whistle, signifying the students to get into position. She shoved the toy into her pocket and turned around, squaring up her shoulders. “Ready.”
Gorgug hunkered down, ready this time to catch her when she came at him.
Gorthalax blew the whistle a second time, and Mary Ann vanished.
Gorgug was ready. He was expecting this. He could faintly see the blur of pink sweater as she rushed him, and he moved microscopically to adjust for where her center of mass would be.
At least, that’s what he thought he was doing.
He moved his arm a little too far, however, and her shoulder caught it as she slammed into him. He heard something pop and then his vision exploded in white-hot pain. When his vision returned he was staring up at the sky, the silhouettes of the bleachers on the edges of his vision. He groaned as he tried to move and the pain shot back up his arm, causing him to roar and getting the coach’s attention.
“Thistlespring! You OK there, kiddo?” Gorthalax hustled over and looked down at the half-orc laid out on his back. His eyes scanned over his writhing body and took in the dislocated shoulder. Gorgug grunted and looked up at the pit fiend, anger in his eyes. “Right. Of course not,” Gorthalax quickly mumbled.
Fabian jogged over, concerned for his friend. “Gorgug? What’s wrong?”
“Dislocated shoulder,” announced the coach. “We’ll get it fixed up quick and easy, right, Gorgug?”
Gorgug winced and nodded. Fixing dislocations on the field was done ‘the mundane way,’ as Gorthalax liked to put it. Since fixing dislocations hurt whether magic was involved or not, it was common practice to save the spell slot and pop the joint back into place physically. Gorgug had had dislocations fixed in both ways in the past and really couldn’t say if one method was better than the other; both hurt like a bitch and that was all that it boiled down to.
“Skuttle, give me a hand, would you? Help brace Thistlespring while I pop the join back in.”
“‘K.”
Red flared in Gorgug’s vision. “You, you don’t think Fabian’d be a better fit?”
“Skuttle is just as capable. Now hold still, this will be over soon.”
Before Gorgug could react, Mary Ann was at his side, kneeling down next to him. “So you didn’t move out of the way fast enough?” she asked him, staring blankly out over the field as she held him still. “That sucks for you. Let me make it up to you. Let me distract you.”
Mind blown at the apparent speech by Mary Ann, Gorgug tried to take in what she was saying. “Let me make it up to you.”
Gorthalax’s voice cut in through his foggy, rage-filled thoughts. “Alright, ready Gorgug? On ‘three!’ One…”
“...What?” mumbled Gorgug.
“Tw-” began Gorthalax.
Click! went the joint as Gorthalax popped it into place.
“Aaaarrrr-!!” Gorgug began to yell.
CHOMP!! Mary Ann’s teeth sank into the back of Gorgug's hand.
“AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!” he screamed louder.
“-wo!” finished Gorthalax.
“She bit me!” shouted Gorgug.
“You’re welcome,” said Mary Ann, sitting down and pulling out her keychain. “Oh, it pooped.”
Gorgug’s hand throbbed.
“Coach, she bit me!”
“How’s your shoulder?” he asked instead.
Gorgug rotated it; it moved smoothly and painlessly. “...Fine…” he admitted hesitantly.
Gorthalax clapped him on the back. “Then I say Skuttle did a good job taking your mind off of the dislocation. Good work, Skuttle!”
“Yeah,” Mary Ann said dispassionately, still focused on her toy. Gorgug ground his teeth and glared daggers at the kobold, but she took no notice. “You ready to tackle me now?” she asked him instead.
Gorgug glowered at her. “...Sure.”
Fabian, picking up on Gorgug’s vibes, interceded. “Gorgug, did you want to partner with me instead?”
“Are you saying I can’t handle her?”
The half-elf looked hurt. “No! Of course not! I just thought that you might want to team up, that’s all.”
“No… No, I’ve got this,” he assured Fabian.
“Alright…” he said, looking over his shoulder as he jogged back to his own partner.
Gorthalax blew his whistle, once more signaling everyone to get in position. Mary Ann tucked away her toy and again squared up her shoulders.
Gorgug sized her up; she was a third of his size, two feet tall compared to his six-foot-four. How was he even going to run while crouched down at her height? But he wasn’t going to give up, not now, not after she’d humiliated him twice already. He adjusted himself, crouching down as low as he could. The whistle blew.
Gorgug rushed his opponent, growling as he closed the gap between the two of them. Mary Ann stared ahead, watching him, unblinking as he drew near. He pounced, a tiger closing in on its prey, and he felt himself collide with her. He also felt more pain, as if he were colliding with an iron pole. He felt something snap and pop inside of him, and suddenly he was prone on the ground, desperately trying to gasp for air.
“Oh, shit! Thistlespring!” called Gorthalax, hurrying back over to him. He looked down at the half-orc and the blood pooling out of his mouth, and glanced back over at Mary Ann.
“What happened, Skuttle?”
“He ran into me.”
“...Ah. Well, looks like he managed to break a couple ribs and puncture a lung.” He crouched down next to Gorgug. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you fixed up in a jiffy, bud.” He reached out, grasping Gorgug’s arm, and cast a third-level cure Wounds on him, knitting his bones and repairing his lung. Gorgug coughed up blood and got to his knees.
This time the coach put a gentle hand on Gorgug’s shoulder. “Alright, Thistlespring. I think today’s not your day. Hit the showers early.” he told him. He turned to Mary Ann. “Uh, good hustle out there, Skuttle. You hit the showers, too. See you both tomorrow.”
Gorgug watched Mary Ann slink off, once more her game taking her full attention.
“Coach…” Gorgug began, a growl tingeing his voice.
“I don’t want to hear it, Thistlespring. She’s a solid player.”
“...Fine.” He grabbed his gear and trudged off towards the locker rooms.
What a terrible first day of practice.