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the feelings that the heart hid

Summary:

An old lady mistakes Jisung for a girl and in the night he ends up crying because he liked it, so after a talk with Minho he decides that he is a she in reality and she just have been ignoring it for a long time but she is still having a hard time coming to terms with it

Chapter 1: Discoveries

Chapter Text

It was late at night much later than he meant to stay awake but his rasing Jisung's racing mind didn't let him rest because of a singular thought “ why did i liked so much being called a she when that old lady asked for help and why he did not correct her” he couldn't help the tears in his eyes to start building up and he could keep quiet any longer.

At the sounds of sobs right at his side Minho couldn't help but wake up and start looking for his boyfriend which he was sobbing on the floor of the opposite side of the bed -Hannie, are you ok? Why are you crying? Did you have a nightmare? Did something happen today?- at that last questions Jisung’s sobs grew louder breaking Minho’s heart he left the bed and sat down to the side of his sobbing boyfriend and put his arm around him as he could protect him of what already happened in the day-bug i need you to breathe in the beat of raining stars ok? 4 beats in 2 beats hold and 5 beats out can you do that little thing for me darling?-

Minho softly asked the still sobbing Jisung which fortunately seem to hear what Minho asked and started doing as asked and after a few minutes he managed to calm down enough to answer his boyfriend’s questions-you know how today i went to get groceries because it was my day off and you couldn't do it because you're helping the dance team that's going to compete?. jisung asked Minho with a still tear filled eyes- yes i know bug thats the reason i asked you to go and send you the grocery list and write it down in the morning just in case, did something bad happened at the store?- a worried Minho asked trailing his hands over jisung’s face as if searching something

-i will tell you but i dont want to be interrupted because im barely keeping it together ok? ok, So what happened was that when i was looking for the type of wet food Dori likes i had to crouch down because they move it again and there was an old lady that couldn't read well the ingredients of some dry food and she taped my shoulder and said “excuse me miss can you help me with reading the ingredients in this please i forgot to bring my reading glasses” and when she said miss for some reason i didnt correct her and it felt so good for some reason and it should been like that i should have corrected her I shouldn't feel good when someone refers to me as a she-with the more words came out of jisung mouth the more hard the tears fell and the more difficult was to keep going.

-Hannie its ok for you too feel like that you just discover that you like being referred as a she, you can do and feel everything you want as long as is not damaging for you or other living being ok if you wanna add she as one of your pronouns its completely ok if you want to use just she is also perfectly ok- said Minho with a soft voice while rubbing circles on Jisung’s back and planting a few reassuring pecks on Jinsung's lips and cheeks.
-Are you sure? what if im doing something wrong by doing that i don't want to do something wrong people will say things and then i will be fired and you will have to be the sole provider because i wont be able to fi- Han Jisung you will stop rambling and listen to me and try to keep it in your mind- saint Minho with a weirdly stern yet soft voice-There's not a single wrong thing with this you, and if you’re boss fire you witch i believe wont happened because Chan loves you so much and you're like his little brother and even if it happens you will be able to find another job as a producer anywhere because you're that talented ok- With all of those things Jisung’s mind calmed down a little and let out a barely audible ok to his boyfriend who took him in his arms and put him to bed and not before putting himself on top of him as a living weighted blanket, now thanks to the words and reassurances of his boyfriend Jisung finally fell asleep 10 minutes later and Minho followed him not much after.

 

Now two weeks after that day Jisung after debating with Dori for a full 20 minutes which basically consisted of Jinsung pacing in front of the cat tree and talking to a dozing off Dori that yawned sometimes and glared as Jisung for not letting him sleep he finally made his mind he will try to go by she for four days to know if she was really a trans girl or not.

The day passed really slow in Jisung’s eyes and she could concentrate in anything not the anime she tried to put not a movie not even playing with Dori, but that was only until Minho came home after a day in a dance competition as the team coach and when Dori and Jisung heard the door closing both went to greet Minho Jisung with a kiss full of love gripping his hoodie with one hand and cupping the later face with the other and Dori kept asking for pets rubbing himself onto Minho’s legs-Hi baby, how did the team do?- asked Jisung with a smile plastered in her face-Hi darling, they did well but James twisted his ankle near the end of the choreography and after got a anxiety attack because he thought that because of him we wouldn't make it unto the podium so i had to call him down and in the end we ended up in second place so i bought donuts for all of the team and i brought you the ones i could salvage- told Minho with a proud tone in his voice while petting a now purring Dori.

Now cuddling in the couch, bellies full of doughnuts and chamomile tea that Jisung made to calm her twisting stomach and now watching the apothecary diaries Jisung decided to finally told Minho her plan-Minmin i want to tell you something-said in a whisper full of nervousness-What do you want to tell me darling? do you want to try something new in bed?-said Minho tilting his head slightly to the left in curiousness-What?! no not right now i was talking about something more serious and maybe important for our relationship-said a really nervous Jisung noticing that the tea has not had any type of effect on her-Oh well feel free to tell me whats going on that pretty head of yours Han-said Minho with obvious nervousness that was just emphasized with the use of her surname-Well i thought of it all day and event talked with Dori just to make sure-that little comment calmed down Minho a little bit and even let out a soft giggle but he still was very nervous- and i have decided that i want to try going by she for four days as a “test” to see if that is what i really want, is it ok if only the two of us try?- when the last word left her mouth she felt a hand cupping her face.

-My darling, my beautiful beautiful angel, of course we can try, as long as you feel comfortable i will have a girlfriend, and if you dont like it then i will have a boyfriend- said Minho softly while putting their foreheads together.

It has a hard change, after all calling your soulmate for a different pronoun after 3 years of relationship and 5 years of knowing each other, a change like this is bound to have some difficulties adapting but fortunately when it comes to Jisung Minho couldn't be more stubborn to do things right and make his boy.. girlfriend comfortable and happy.

“ok Minho you need to remember in the morning you have to talk to Jisung about telling Hyunjin and Felix since they’re coming to celebrate the team win on the weekend and that overlaps with the days that Jisung wants to try, and remember her to send Chan an email telling him since he is one of her best friends and also her boss, and i will have to start looking at female names and write them down just in case”