Chapter Text
Applejack opened her eyes. It was barely dawn. She inhaled the cool air through the open window, heavily scented with the smell of apples.
She rolled over with a groan. On a different morning, she might have given herself some extra time to sleep, but this was apple bucking season. There was work to be done. Regretfully, she heaved herself out of bed, and plodded out of her room and down the stairs to the kitchen. There were a few dishes in the sink, but not enough to suggest breakfast had come and gone. Most likely Applebloom had grabbed a bite and run out.
Applejack pulled out some milk, oats, and wheat for a simple, but filling breakfast. She missed Granny’s spread in the morning. Truthfully, she just missed Granny, but it was also nice to have a hot meal before going out into the field.
She began to set out some bowls and silverware.
“A-Applejack?” a soft voice called from behind her.
“Mornin’ Fluttershy,” Applejack said without turning. “Sleep well?”
“Um… fine…”
Applejack stopped, her eyebrows raised. That didn’t sound like a typical Fluttershy ‘good morning’.
She turned. What she saw worried her. Fluttershy was pale, and her eyes were wide and afraid.
“What’s wrong, Sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
Fluttershy looked at the ground.
“I… I mean, I’m… I… .”
Several bits of information fell into place in Applejack’s mind. Fluttershy had felt sick the last few mornings. She’d been unusually tired, and a bit cranky.
“You are?” she exclaimed. “You mean you’re…?”
Fluttershy nodded slightly.
Applejack sat back with a smile.
“Huh,” Applejack grunted. “Have ya told my lunkhead of a brother yet?”
Fluttershy shrank back, her face torn between worry and annoyance. She hated when Applejack called her brother names. Applejack had, through all her efforts, repeatedly failed in explaining how such insults from their youth could transform into terms of affection.
“No,” Fluttershy said. “I… I’m… I mean, I… .”
Applejack walked over and pulled Fluttershy into a fierce hug.
“It’s okay, Sugarcube,” she told Fluttershy. “You were already family in all but name before you married Big Mac. Whatever happens, ya ain’t goin’ through this alone.”
“Besides,” Applejack told her, “we Apples are farm folk. We thrive on big families. Whatever you’re worried about my brother thinking, don’t. He may be empty in the head sometimes, but he’s full in the heart.”
Applejack released Fluttershy, and held her at leg’s length.
“Now you go up there and tell that lunkhead the good news. Go on, make his day.”
Fluttershy rubbed tears from her eyes.
“Will… will you… ?”
Applejack shook her head.
“No can do, Sugarcube,” she told Fluttershy. “This one you have to do on your own.”
She gave Fluttershy a gentle push.
“Go on. I’ll be here if you need me.”
She watched Fluttershy shuffle away nervously. Once she’d turned out of sight, Applejack went back to setting the table.
She poured herself some wheat and milk and munched sedately.
“Three….” she muttered to herself, “two… one…”
“YEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!” came a cry from above.
The thunder of hooves down the stairs rocked the house to the foundation.
“AJ!” Big Mac yelled. “AJ! AJ, didja hear? Didja hear the good news? I’m gonna be a… I’m gonna be a father! I’MGONNABEADAD! YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAW! I GOTTA TELL EVERYPONY! YAAHOOOO!”
Applejack smiled into her wheat, and uttered the only appropriate response.
“Eeyup,” she said with a smirk.
She spied Fluttershy peeking around the corner, gazing at the ecstatic Big Mac in wonder. Applejack caught her eye and gave her a wink. Fluttershy smiled in response. It was all Applejack needed.
Big Mac caught sight of Fluttershy and swept her into a big hug.
“We’ll get Applebloom to help make a crib,” he told her, “and a mobile with apples and butterflies, and pull toys the shapes of your animal friends…”
Applejack rinsed out her dishes in the sink and slipped out the door to leave the two to their revelry. Fluttershy may not have known it, but she’d just Big Mac one of his fondest wishes: a family of his own. The chance to be like their father.
It had taken some time for Applejack to accept the pair when they told her of their relationship. The thought of her friend and her brother just didn’t sit well. In retrospect, the two were made for each other. Big Mac was a loyal, kind, fiercely protective gentle giant, and nopony would take as much care with Fluttershy than he. Fluttershy was easy to underestimate with her timidity, but while she never stood up for herself, woe be unto you if you messed with those she cared about. Ponies often saw Big Mac as nothing more than a strong-back, though Applejack knew better. Fluttershy was just the kind of pony who would work to bring out the best in him, and stare down anypony who dismissed him.
Applejack followed the slow, rhythmic sound echoing through the orchard.
“Hey there, Applebloom!’ she called.
“Mornin’ AJ,” Applebloom greeted between bucks. She’d grown lean and strong like her sister, and pulled her weight just as diligently.
“Mornin’ AB,” Applejack replied. “You seen Big Mac or Fluttershy this mornin’?”
“Nope,” Applebloom answered. “They weren’t up ‘fore I got out here.”
“Y’might want to head back to the house,” Applejack told her. “There’s a ruckus y’might want to see.”
Applebloom gave AJ a suspicious look. Applejack merely grinned.
“A’right,” Applebloom said, “but this better not be some weird prank.”
“Aw, git goin’,” Applejack shooed her. “I’ll take over here.”
Applebloom gave one more tree a good solid buck before sauntering off toward the house.
Applejack watched her go until there was nothing but her and the silence of the orchard.
Applejack looked down the row of apple trees, feeling curiously heavy-hearted. She grabbed a stack of baskets and started setting them out. Satisfied with their placement, she wandered back down the row to where Applebloom had left off.
She bucked the first tree with a good ‘thump’. She could feel the impact travel up her legs to her hips. Apples rained from the sky.
A new foal in the household. The pitter-patter of new hooves.
Thump.
A new Apple. A new heir. A new branch on the family tree.
Thump.
It was just a shame that Granny wasn’t here to see.
Thump.
Granny’s absence notwithstanding, these were all good changes.
Thump.
The problem was, they weren’t Applejack’s changes.
Thump.
Everypony moved forward.
Thump.
Everypony but Applejack.
Thump.
Applejack remained static.
THU-CRACK
“OW!” Applejack cried. “SONOFA….” She’d lost focus and made a mistake. She ran her hooves down her leg. It didn’t feel like anything was broken. Probably not even strained. Just twisted. It would be right as rain after a day of rest. Not that she had a day to spare.
Applejack cursed herself. This was supposed to be a happy day. Big Mac and Fluttershy were having a foal, and Applejack was not going to ruin the whole thing because she got careless.
Because she couldn’t be happy for them.
The thing was, she was happy for them. She really was. But she was also jealous. It merely highlighted what she’d been missing. What she didn’t have.
Applejack blinked away tears and choked back a sob. Crying changed nothing, not what she had, nor what she had to do.
“Buck it all,” she muttered.
She surveyed the tree in front of her. One-legged tree bucking was doable, but inadvisable. It was too easy to strain muscles getting enough power into it. The leg she twisted, though. It needed time to heal.
“Whelp,” Applejack said to nopony, “it’s my own fault it came to this.”
She reared back, feeling her muscles tighten like over-coiled springs.
“HNG”
THUMP
~~~
Applejack choked back a whimper as she lowered herself into the nigh-scalding water. Applejack was sore. She would be sore tomorrow, and she would probably be sore the day after. She’d overdone it, stupidly so. She’d seen it in the eyes of Big Mac when he’d caught her bucking one-legged.
He’d given her a stern look. One she’d richly deserved. This was how it started, she knew. You overdid it. You didn’t give yourself a chance to recover. You pushed yourself harder. Soon you could only buck trees every third day, and you knew when the weather was changing without a barometer.
Applejack wanted nothing more than to kick the end of the tub in frustration, but her aching muscles protested to such a degree that she did nothing more than wiggle her legs and let out a little moan.
“Um… I brought you something for your legs,” a soft voice interrupted Applejack’s self loathing.
Applejack turned to see Fluttershy offering a jar of ointment.
“If you rub this on your legs, it should take away enough pain to sleep.”
“Well, thankya kindly,” Applejack responded with a small smile. “You’re a good friend, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy shuffled her hooves nervously.
“Um… Applejack, is there… are… are you okay?”
Applejack splashed in the water with her front hooves for a moment instead of answering.
“Have you heard from any of the others?” she asked.
“I just got a letter from Rainbow Dash. The Wonderbolts were in Phillydelphia, at the same time as Sapphire Shores, and they partied together. And Rarity sent me another request to come model her designs for her in Canterlot.”
“Heh,” Applejack gave a slight smile. “Now you’ve got a good excuse, ‘les Rarity’s gonna start a line of maternity clothes.”
Fluttershy blushed, but smiled.
“Pinkie’s still in the planning stages of her biggest party yet,” Applejack added, “and Twilight’s up in her castle doing whatever Twilight does. Everypony is moving forward. Following their dreams. Grand hopes and ambitions. Everypony but me.”
Fluttershy frowned.
“I… I’m not exactly in some big dream,” she protested.
“Aintcha?” Applejack asked. “You’re doing what you love, and you’re starting a family. I can’t think of anything more important than that.”
“But…” Fluttershy hesitated, “aren’t you doing what you love?”
Applejack stared off into space.
“I suppose I am,” she admitted, “but except for that one time I ran off to Manehatten, I never really questioned it. It always just seemed like a given. I just… I just wish… .”
“Wish what?” Fluttershy asked.
“Aw, it don’t matter,” Applejack said. “All that matters is the farm, and that I keep workin’.”
“That’s not true,” Fluttershy exclaimed. “That’s an awful thing to say!”
Applejack turned to look at Fluttershy. Fluttershy retreated from her eyes. Her flat, expressionless, resigned eyes. Eyes that had given up.
“Ain’t it?” Applejack asked. “Ain’t it true?”
Applejack heaved herself out of the tub with a groan.
“Thank you for the ointment, Fluttershy,” she said. “I’m gonna go get some shuteye. See you in the morning.”
Fluttershy watched Applejack limp away. She wanted, needed to say something. Anything. But nothing she thought of sounded like it would help.
Her heart sank. A good friend indeed. A friend would couldn’t help when she was needed most.
Fluttershy wandered toward the living room. Maybe Big Mac might have a suggestion. The stalwart stallion could be surprisingly sensitive.
She frowned to herself. This wasn’t over, she was sure.
~~~
Applejack woke to the sound of birds.
That was not a good sign.
Birds meant she’d overslept.
She rolled out of bed with a groan. Her legs were stiff and sore. She’d have to take it easy today.
Applejack hobbled down the stairs. As she expected, the kitchen was empty.
Applejack sighed.
Again she felt the absence of Granny. Applejack had managed the farm for years before she passed, but despite all of Applejack’s planning and business sense, Granny had been the one to keep them together. To keep them cohesive. To keep them trotting in the same direction.
Now nopony had even bothered to see if she was awake.
Applejack gazed distastefully at the usual breakfast fare. Truthfully, she didn’t really feel hungry, but she knew better than to go out into the field without something to sustain her. Fortunately she was prepared for such an occurrence, especially since it seemed to be happening with increased regularity.
Applejack rummaged around in the cupboard for her stash of granola. Granola wasn’t as good as a meal, but it would keep her moving until lunch. Longer, if needed.
She munched on the sugar and honey sweetened oats as she plodded out into the field. The walk did wonders to stretch out her aching muscles, and, fortunately, it was easy to find where the family was working. One just had to follow the sound of trees being bucked. She stopped for a moment when Big Mac and Applebloom were finally in view, and took a deep breath. Her heart just wasn’t in the work today, but there was nothing that could be done about it.
Applejack took one last deep breath and marched toward her siblings.
“Mornin’,” she muttered as she walked by.
Big Mac shot her a look.
“I know, I know,” she replied testily. “I’ll take it easy today. I can’t not work, ‘r we’ll get too far behind.”
She grabbed a stack of baskets as she plodded to her place in the row. Applejack looked down the row before she started. It was a pretty long row. With the three of them it would go quick, but there were many, many more rows to go before they were done.
Applejack sighed.
Put one hoof in front of the other and keep plodding along, she thought. It doesn’t matter how you feel as long as you keep working.
She flexed her legs experimentally. They hurt, but not enough to shy away from her duty.
Thump.
Another apple tree.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
~~~
Applejack eased herself into the hot water. It wasn’t nearly as hot as the day before’s, but she wasn’t quite as sore, either, and she wanted to soak, not make apple soup.
She sighed as she leaned her back against the side of the tub and stared at the ceiling.
Another day.
Another day of bucking trees.
And more days ahead of her. Then making cider, selling everything they can, and then hunkering down for the winter to live lean off the savings.
Then spring comes, and the cycle begins again.
Applejack had worked on the farm since she could walk. There were times when it was hard, times when it was grueling, times when it seemed impossible.
This was the first time since Applejack could remember that it felt like work.
Applejack’s vision began to blur. She blinked and felt tears roll down her cheeks. She rubbed them away. There was no time for tears. There was work. There was always work.
~~~
Applejack woke to birds singing, and rays of sun piercing the gloom of her room. She tried to roll over to keep the light out of her eyes, but at the slightest movement her legs screamed in agony. They hurt. Her tree bucking was catching up to her.
Applejack moaned. She opened her eyes and watched the dust motes dancing in the sun.
Applejack jerked upright. She’d overslept.
Ignoring the protesting her legs were doing, she rolled out of bed and limped down the stairs. She grabbed another bag of granola from the kitchen and hobbled out the door. She bit back a whimper as she hastened into a stiff trot out to the field. Today was going to hurt. Today was going to hurt a lot.
~~~
Applejack had not been wrong, but she hadn’t been as right as she feared either. Her legs were sore, but between the walking and the bucking, she’d sufficiently stretched so as not to be completely miserable. That said, she still hurt.
Applejack staggered through the door to her room, dragging herself to her bed. She felt too tired to even rinse tonight. Not that it mattered. She’d be ripe in a hour’s worth of work tomorrow.
She threw herself onto the bed and shut her eyes, sighing. Tomorrow was going to be much like today, which was much like yesterday, which would be much like days to come.
~~~
Birds again. Applejack rolled out of bed. At least her legs didn’t hurt quite as badly. She staggered down the stairs, still stiff and sore. The kitchen was understandably empty. Applejack fished in the cupboard for her stash of granola. Empty. She was out. Applejack’s stomach gave a growling whine at the thought. Applejack ignored it. Regretfully, she turned and made her way out the door. There were trees to be bucked. There were always trees to be bucked.
~~~
Applejack trudged into the house, her head hanging low. She felt tired. She felt oh, so tired. She tripped her way up the stairs to flop unceremoniously onto her bed.
Birds.
Hunger.
Trees.
Bed.
~~~
Applejack dragged herself out of bed with a moan. She didn’t even bother to look at the mirror. She knew what she’d see. Her mane was a mess, her eyes had bags, and she looked miserable. None of it mattered.
She dragged herself down the stairs. For once, the kitchen was occupied.
“Oh! Um… hello, Applejack,” Fluttershy said as she sat at the kitchen table.
“Mmrph,” Applejack grunted as she stumbled toward the door.
“Um… I was talking to Big Mac,” Fluttershy said, “and we thought you might need a day off.”
“There’s trees to be bucked,” Applejack muttered. “Can’t take a day off.”
“Um…” Fluttershy said. “I think they’ll be okay without you for one day. Big Mac said so.”
That stopped Applejack in her tracks.
This is how it ends, Applejack thought. They take the farm away from me too.
She turned slowly to Fluttershy, her ears flat.
“This is my farm, Fluttershy,” she said in a low voice. “I’m responsible for what happens here.”
Fluttershy hesitated, as though sensing danger.
“Of course you are,” she said in her most soothing voice. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t get a day off now and then. Everypony needs a day off once in a while.”
“Not during apple bucking season,” Applejack maintained.
“Okay, Applejack,” Fluttershy relented. “You know what you’re doing.”
“That’s right,” Applejack snapped. “I do.”
Anger gave Applejack enough of a burst of energy to stomp from the house. Once outside, the anger dissipated to irritation. The irritation lasted longer, though it was eventually spent on the trees.
When she returned to the kitchen at the end of the day, Fluttershy was nowhere to be found. Applejack merely plodded back to her room, intent on the blissful nothingness of sleep.
Birds.
Hunger.
Trees.
Bed.
Birds.
Hunger.
Trees.
~~~
Applejack stumbled down the trail toward the house, feeling hungry and exhausted. Though her stomach growled and whined at her, she was too tired to fix a hot meal, and a second breakfast didn’t appeal to her. She missed Granny. Granny would’ve had a hot dinner ready for them when they came back from the field. Applejack took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
Must miss Granny more than I thought, Applejack decided. I can smell baking apples in the air.
The smell grew stronger as she reached the kitchen door.
“Applejack!” a voice cried as she entered the kitchen. “I’m super-duper happy to see you!”
“Pinkie?” Applejack asked, confused. She looked around the kitchen. Baked goods of all sorts lined the counters and tables. AB, Big Mac, and Fluttershy were happily munching on pastries. “Ain’t you working on your huge party?”
“Uh huh!” Pinkie said as she pronked across the kitchen to her friend. “The ‘Pie-Sandwich Epic Party Collaboration’ is going to be great! But that doesn’t mean I can’t take time to visit my friends. Especially when one is down in the dumps.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Applejack demanded.
“Nothing!” Pinkie assured her. “It’s just that Fluttershy wrote and told me you were being all mopey-sad, so I came to cheer up one of my bestest friends!”
“So that’s it? I don’t hear from you for a year, and you think you can just waltz in and fix everything?”
Pinkie seemed taken aback.
“I… I wanted to do something nice for a friend,” she said.
Applejack felt a twinge of guilt.
“I appreciate the thought, Pinkie, but I don't much feel like company right now.”
Pinkie Pie seemed to wilt.
“Oh… Okay. I’ll… I’ll just visit with Fluttershy then.”
“You do that,” Applejack muttered. “You can congratulate her on being pregnant.”
“What?” Pinkie exclaimed, turning to Fluttershy. “You didn’t tell me that!”
Fluttershy blushed and looked away.
“Well… um…”
Applejack felt her mouth twist with an expression that was half smile, half grimace. She slipped out of the kitchen and up the stairs. That would show Fluttershy, she thought. Show her what, she wasn’t sure.
Applejack walked into her room and shut the door. She simply stood for a moment, staring at the door, her chest feeling curiously heavy. Then she did something she had never done in her life. Applejack locked her door.
In a farmhouse bustling with ponies, there were few things as precious as privacy. Because of that, there was an understanding in the Apple household: a shut door was a plea for privacy, and should not be opened. For the first time in her life, Applejack felt like that wasn’t enough.
Applejack stared at the locked door for a moment more before turning and walking to her bed. She couldn’t even be bothered to pull the covers back. Instead, she flopped onto the bed, stomach down. Unbidden tears welled up in her eyes. She felt exhausted. She felt sick. She wanted to sob like a filly into her pillow. Mostly she felt alone.
Applejack heard laughter from the kitchen below. She buried her head in her pillows. Let them celebrate Fluttershy’s pregnancy. Applejack didn’t matter at all in comparison. She only mattered as long as she could buck trees.
Eventually Applejack slept.
~~~
Thump
Applejack almost sobbed in relief. That was the last tree. Apple bucking season was over. That didn’t mean the work was over, of course. Apples still needed to be cleaned, sorted between saleable apples, and those only useful for cider, and those too damaged to be used. Cider sales came next, where they struggled to make enough cider to meet the ever growing demand, and made as much money as they could to last them through the winter. Then came securing the farm for winter, and waiting through the dark days before everything began again.
But that was the future. Applejack began to heft the baskets and hauling them to her cart. Buck apple trees, collect apples, move apples. That was what mattered now.
“Hey, Applejack!”
Applejack almost dropped her basket in surprise.
“Rainbow Dash,” she exclaimed, whirling around. “What the hay are you doing here? Ain’t you supposed to be in Las Pegasus?”
Rainbow dash hovered in the air, a smug look on her face.
“Aw, that was a long time ago,” Rainbow Dash replied with a dismissive wave. “Last week, I think. I’ve been lots of places since then.”
“Then what are you doing here,” Applejack asked. Suspicion grew in her mind. She placed her basket gingerly on the cart and turned to fetch the next one.
“I’d never miss Cider season!” Rainbow said, following after her.
“You did last year,” Applejack muttered.
“Well… well I’m here now,” Rainbow said, darting in front of Applejack. “Come on, AJ, aren’t you glad to see me?”
“Sure,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes. “I was just wondering what a superstar was doing in a backwards town like Ponyville, and with a farm pony like me.”
“Aw, c’mon AJ, don’t be like that! I’m still your friend, aren’t I?” Rainbow asked uncertainly.
Applejack sighed.
“Yeah, you are, but where’ve you been for the last year? Why ain’t I heard from you? You can’t just go away like that then come back and expect everything to be the same!”
Rainbow hung her head. Applejack felt a stab of remorse.
“Look, I appreciate you comin’, but I’m fine. I’m a big pony. I don’t need you checkin’ up on me.”
Applejack grabbed another basket and hefted it onto the cart.
“But Fluttershy said-” Rainbow started. Applejack's heart fell. She'd known it was Fluttershy, but the confirmation still hurt.
“Did Fluttershy mention she was pregnant?” Applejack interrupted.
“No,” Rainbow answered. “She… wait, what?”
Applejack turned to face Rainbow Dash, moving so their faces were close. She looked Rainbow Dash in the eyes.
“Fluttershy is pregnant,” Applejack said calmly. “She was really nervous about it at first.”
Applejack watched Rainbow’s jaw work wordlessly.
“I’ll just bet she needs a brave, loyal friend to help her celebrate,” Applejack continued, “and let her know how happy we all are for her, and that it doesn’t change that we’re her friends. That she’s not going through this alone.”
“That’s not fair, AJ,” Rainbow Dash growled in a low voice.
Applejack turned away and grabbed the next basket.
“Ain’t tryin’ to be fair, Sugarcube,” she said. “I’m trying to get my work done. Now, why don’t you head on over to the house and see Fluttershy. I’ll be in once I’ve got these apples stored.”
“This isn’t over, AJ,” Rainbow Dash warned as she turned and took flight.
“Oh, it is,” Applejack said to herself as she placed the basket on the cart. “You just don’t know it yet.”
Applejack turned to the remaining baskets. There was more work to be done. There was always more work.
~~~
Applejack plodded down the stairs. Late again. She'd been making a habit of it, despite her best intentions. At least Big Mac and Applebloom were too polite to say anything. And it wasn't like she didn't pull her weight. She worked as hard as anyone.
Applejack rounded the corner into the kitchen. A large mass blocked her path.
Applejack looked up into Big Mac’s scowling face. Perhaps they weren't as polite as she thought. Or she wasn't working hard enough.
“I know, I know, I overslept,” she snapped. “I’m a-going!”
Big Mac neatly side-stepped to block her path as she tried to get around him. She glared up at him indignantly.
Big Mac gazed down sternly.
“Eat,” he said, holding out a basket of apple muffins.
Applejack glared at him.
“Ain't time,” she said. “There's work to do.”
Big Mac didn't budge.
“Eat,” he said.
Applejack warred with herself. On one hoof, she was hungry. Very hungry. On the other, she hated being told what to do, especially by her brother. Pride seemed to have the edge.
“Do you really want to do this, Big Mac?” She asked menacingly.
Big Mac snorted derisively and tapped his rear hoof impatiently on the floor.
“Whelp,” Applejack said, pushing her hat back and widening her stance, “if that's the way you want it.”
“Oh! Applejack,” Fluttershy said from behind her. “I hope you like the muffins I made for you.”
Applejack turned to see Fluttershy ambling down the stairs.
“I know you haven't been feeling well,” Fluttershy continued. “Muffins always help me when my stomach is upset. I hope they're good. I worked really hard on them.”
Fluttershy smiled sweetly at her.
Applejack turned back to Big Mac. He had a slight smirk as he stared back at her. She wanted to smack that smile off his smug face, but she knew a losing battle when she saw it.
Applejack snatched the basket from Big Mac.
“I’m sure they're delicious,” she told Fluttershy. She grabbed a muffin from the basket and took a bite. It was indeed.
“Muffins make me feel better too,” she said.
Applejack walked around Big Mac.
“I’ll take the rest of them out to the barn with me,” she said. “I can eat while I'm sorting and cleaning.”
“Good luck!” Fluttershy called after her.
Applejack didn't respond. After all, a pony’s patience is limited.
~~~
Applejack gave the press one more crank, then relented to her aching forelegs. She stretched her back and listened mournfully to the popping sounds which cascaded down it.
Cut apples.
Mash apples.
Press apples.
That had been her routine for three days.
Cut apples.
Mash apples.
Press apples.
To be fair, it looked like it would be a good year for cider. It was generally looking like a good crop this year. Unfortunately that did nothing to ease the soreness in Applejack’s back.
Applejack rolled her shoulders, trying to work some of the soreness out. She blinked wearily out of the barn. It was dusk.
Applejack sighed. She still had to cap this last barrel and clean the press. A dirty press could easily foul the cider. She placed a bung in the barrel and pounded it in. Slowly she rolled the barrel aside, and went to fetch the hose, trying all the while to ignore the pain. She grunted as she began pulling the press apart, and cleaning out the apple mash still clinging on.
Applejack was tired.
That was not to say she hadn't been tired before; she had. One did not work a farm without being tired at the end of the day. If you weren't tired, you weren't working hard enough.
However, this tired was different. This tired was like a pit inside of her that consumed her will to keep working. It refused to be sated by food or sleep. It just kept devouring. Taking until there would be nothing left of her.
Applejack tripped as she walked to turn off the water. She felt clumsy, as though her hooves were numb and overly large. She pitched forward, unable to stop her fall. All she could do was raise her head to keep it from smashing into the ground. As her chin hit, her jaws snapped shut on her tongue.
“THIT!” She swore.
She could taste coppery tang of blood in her mouth. She spat on the the ground, trying to rid herself of the sickening liquid.
Applejack could only sigh. There didn't seem to be a point in continuing. She would only mess things up worse.
Applejack trudged back to the house.
“Hey, Sis!” Applebloom chirped as Applejack dragged herself through the door. She and Big Mac sat at the table eating.”
Applejack grunted in reply.
“What's the matter AJ?” Applebloom asked.
Applejack grunted again and shook her head.
“Awe, c’mon. You can tell me!”
“I bi’ mah thongue,” Applejack said. “I’ hurths.”
“What?” Applebloom asked.
“I thaid I bi’ mah thounge,” Applejack repeated. “I’ hur… .”
Applebloom’s eyes sparked, and her lips were pressed tightly, trying to contain the increasingly-threatening laughter.
Applejack slumped, defeated. She trudged to the stairs.
“Wait,” Applebloom called after her. “I was only teasing. Aren't you at least gonna have some dinner?”
“Nope.”
There was no point.
There was no point to anything.
~~~
Applejack dropped the barrel with a thud. She paused for a moment and stretched out her back. On one hoof, she was happy not to be the face of Sweet Apple Acres this cider season. On the other, her back was not happy about continuously moving the weighty barrels. On top of that, her right knee was bothering her. She must have stepped wrong at some point, though she didn't recall it happening.
Applejack sighed and turned to fetch the next barrel. The season was almost over. Then there was winterizing and pruning dead limbs, and after that the long, empty winter. Not that farm life was ever really empty. There was always something that needed doing or fixing. It was just that in the winter everything was maintenance, and didn't have the breakneck pace of getting things done before the crops spoiled.
Applejack grunted as she hefted her next load. For now there was only the work in front of her. It was pointless to worry about tomorrow's work. Getting through today's would be hard enough.
As the sun finally set, Applejack sat on a rise staring at the empty field. The ponies had all gone home. Everything was quiet.
Serene.
Lonely.
Ponies had gone home to their families. Applebloom and Big Mac had gone in and were relaxing. Applejack was alone.
“Hey, Applejack!”
Or so she thought.
Applejack’s cry of alarm echoed through the empty field.
“Twilight!” Applejack cried once she was sure she wouldn't go into cardiac arrest. “What the heck are you doing, scaring me like that!”
“Sorry,” Twilight said sheepishly. “I came to see you. You weren't at the house, so I went looking.”
“The Princesses finally left her castle, and just to see little ol’ me,” Applejack drawled. “To what do I owe this honor?”
Twilight frowned at Applejack’s tone.
“You're my friend, Applejack,” Twilight said. “Rainbow Dash said you weren't feeling well, so I came to che-”
“How long has it been, Twilight?” Applejack interrupted.
“Huh? I just got he-”
“Two. Years. The last time we all got together was when gra-”
Applejack’s voice broke. She took a breath and tried again.
“The last time we were together was the funeral. I ain't seen you in two years and you just show up like nothing happened?”
Twilight wilted.
“I… I’m sorry. You're right. I got caught up in my research, and forgot to check on those I care about. And I do care about you.”
Twilight straightened.
“But I'm here now, and we have a friendship problem to solve! And if there's a friendship problem, I’m your pony!”
Applejack tried to remind herself that she cared about Twilight. That Twilight was often a naive pony, but she honestly cared, even if she was being a bit thoughtless.
Unfortunately, her mouth wasn't paying attention.
“I am a pony, Twilight, not a puzzle to solve!” she shouted. “You can't just swoop in to fix my problems, then fly away back to your castle. That's not how ponies work. That's not how life works, much less friendship!”
Applejack hated the words coming out of her mouth, but she couldn't take them back if she wanted to. They were honest words, even if they weren't nice.
Twilight shrank in on herself. Applejack felt like she'd kicked a puppy, but it was too late.
“Twilight,” Applejack sighed,” I have to get to bed. There's more work to do in the morning.”
There was only a sniffle for a reply.
Emotions twisted in Applejack like a knife.
“Look, Twilight, some things can't be fixed. Some ponies, too.”
“Be seeing ya, Twilight,” Applejack said, and with that she began trudging home.
Applejack's gut twisted and roiled. Twilight hadn't deserved that, not really. Sure, she'd gotten wrapped up in her research and lost touch with her friends, but they'd done the same thing, getting wrapped up in their lives.
Applejack looked back as she opened the door to the house, half hoping for Twilight to be following behind to try to make amends, but the field was empty.
Applejack blinked back tears. She'd ruined another friendship. There was only one left, and it was the one she always saw as the most tenuous. I probably wouldn't be too long before that one was gone too. Then she'd be alone, just like she deserved.