Chapter Text
Tsukishima's mother once told him that someday he'd meet the girl of his dreams, the one he'll want to spend his life with, the one he'll want to marry and love and have children with, then eventually die with, after they've lived a long and happy life together. She'd told him that as soon as they meet, he would know that they belong with each other. It would be love at first sight. Like a fairy-tale, she'd said.
For a long time, Tsukishima had allowed himself to believe her. He had thought that someday he would meet a girl who could give him all of those things. He'd never questioned it before. He'd never had a reason to.
However, tonight, whilst he's laying on his bed with his tongue buried deep in his boyfriend's ass, he thinks that she might have been wrong.
It's taken him a long time to realise this. A ridiculously long time, really, considering the fact that he's been dating Kuroo for almost two years now and they live together, share a bed, and have a generally happy domestic life as a couple. If you also take into account the fact that he's never even glanced at a female person and felt a hint of sexual or romantic interest, it might even seem like it should have been obvious to him that he exclusively likes men, not women. However, somewhere along the line, Tsukishima must have made the assumption that he still sort of liked women as well, but he just liked Kuroo a little bit more at that moment in time. It was logical, he had thought.
Now, though, as he shoves his tongue into Kuroo's hole and listens to Kuroo's delighted moans, running his hands up and down Kuroo's thighs, it occurs to him that he can't imagine liking anyone as much as he likes Kuroo.
And so, once they have finished what they're doing and are laying in each others arms in the aftermath, Tsukishima decides that it'd be a good idea to tell his mother about his realisation. He thinks that it'll probably be easiest to tell her as soon as possible, so he slides out of bed, planning to do just that.
"Tsukki? What are you doing?" Kuroo asks sleepily, rubbing his eyes and watching his blond-haired boyfriend as he heads towards the desk, where his cell phone resides. "Kei?" He asks, concerned.
Phone in hand, not a stitch of clothing on his body, Tsukishima turns to Kuroo, blinks, and says, "I'm going to come out to my mother."
A beat of silence passes between them. Tsukishima isn't phased by it, though. Instead, he takes this opportunity to continue what he was doing, scrolling through his contacts to find his mother's phone number.
Seeming to finally realise what he'd just heard, Kuroo chokes on air. "Gwaa? Wha- Huh? You- What?" He stutters, shocked, rolling out of bed and stumbling forwards in confusion, just as naked as his boyfriend.
"Don't make those noises, you sound like Hinata, it's creepy."
Kuroo decides to ignore this comment. "What the ever-loving fuck, Tsukki? Are you losing your mind? You want to come out to your mother? Right now?" He exclaims.
Tsukishima blinks. "I thought boyfriends were supposed to be supportive of this kind of thing."
"What- I-" Kuroo coughs out, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. He clearly doesn't know how to handle the situation, which is understandable, really. "I am supportive! But- You need to plan something, you know? You can't just call her now and say "Guess who just fucked his boyfriend? Your son!" because I have a feeling she wouldn't react very well!"
"Hm. I was thinking of saying something more along the lines of "Mum, I've found a girl, I love her and I'd like to marry her then give her babies so we can carry on your bloodline. Oh wait. Sike, I'm gay." Would that be better?"
Baffled, the dark-haired man splutters for a second before he closes his mouth, inhales heavily through his nose, and opens it once more to say "No?!"
Tsukishima sighs.
"Look, I understand what your feeling, okay? You suddenly feel like you're ready to come out and you want to do it as soon as possible, like ripping off a band-aid or something, yeah?" Tsukishima nods, and Kuroo moves towards him, gently wrapping his long fingers around the wrist of the arm holding his phone. "That's perfectly fine, and I know how you feel, but you need to choose the right moment. Right now, it's literally almost one in the morning, you just had your tongue in my ass, we're both completely naked, and you also have a bit of dried cum on your thigh. This isn't the right moment."
"But I want to do it now, before I change my mind."
Kuroo pulls him forwards, wrapping his arms around him loosely. "I know, I know. But do you really want to look back on this moment in the future and think "Fuck, I wish I'd put my dick away first"?"
Tsukishima closes his eyes, burying his nose into Kuroo's bare shoulder, inhaling his comforting, familiar scent. "Alright, alright. I see what you mean."
"Exactly. So, what I think you should do is take a shower, go to bed, and think about it in the morning. That way, you can decide when and how you want to tell her whilst you're not feeling so tired and emotional."
Pulling away from Kuroo slightly, Tsukishima nods a little in agreement, hating that his boyfriend has to rationalise with him like he's a young child. He releases him completely, then puts the phone down, trudging into the bathroom reluctantly for a shower.
Kuroo watches him as he leaves the room. A month ago, if Kuroo had asked Tsukishima when was he going to tell his family about their relationship, the blond-haired man would have said "I'm not ready" or "Not right now" or even "Why should I have to?". It had happened so often that Kuroo accepted it. He'd decided to let Tsukishima gradually get used to the idea of coming out to his family, and then, after they'd discussed it at length, they would do it together, as a couple.
Looking back on this, Kuroo can't help but wonder what the hell had caused his boyfriend to change his mind so suddenly. There was nothing gradual about it, earlier today he'd been his normal "contentedly closeted" self, and then, out of nowhere, he'd been ready to come out. I mean, it's not a problem, of course Kuroo isn't complaining, but... Why?
Tired, Kuroo sighs, and decides to think about it in the morning. "Okay." He says to himself.
**
"Okay." Tsukishima announces as soon as Kuroo steps into the kitchen the next morning. He's sitting at the table, a notepad in front of him and his laptop open next to it. He waves Kuroo over, motioning for him to sit down. "Here's what we're going to do. We're going to brainstorm some coming out ideas, we'll pick one that I can plan out and put into action ASAP and then I will feel less stressed out and nervous all the time. Okay?"
Still half asleep, Kuroo mumbles "Uh. Okay."
"So." Tsukishima says, looking up from his notepad. "Let's review our options. Any suggestions?"
Kuroo taps his chin. "Well, you have your classic "Mum, dad, we need to talk." conversation, where you go to their house and say those exact words, then proceed to give a long speech about your journey to discovery."
"I don't like long speeches." Tsukishima dismisses. He starts writing something in his notebook, but Kuroo isn't good enough at reading upside down to be able to tell what it says.
"Okay, option one is a no." He says. "You could write them a letter?"
"Too old-fashioned."
"An email?"
"That's lame."
"You could bake them a rainbow cake and leave it on their doorstep with a note saying it's from you."
"Nah, I'm pretty sure they're too old-fashioned to know what that means."
"Um." Kuroo says, feebly, running out of ideas. "Show up wearing an "I'm gay" t-shirt? You're welcome to use mine, that way when they ask about it you can say "oh haha it's my boyfriend's" and even then you'll still be coming out?"
Seeming to actually consider it for a second, Tsukishima finally shakes his head and hums in disapproval. "I like the comedy aspect, but overall, it's too abrupt."
Kuroo sighs, his head dropping to rest on the table. "Says the guy who wanted to phone her at one o'clock in the morning and tell her." He mumbles.
All of a sudden, Tsukishima stops writing in the notebook, a frustrated sigh escaping him. "Okay." He says, loudly. "This isn't working."
Humming in agreement, his boyfriend removes his face from the cool surface in front of him and allows his chin rest in his hand instead. A beat of silence passes between them.
"How did you come out to your mum?" Tsukishima asks, after a second.
Confused, Kuroo blinks, shooting him a weird look. He sighs. "You already know that story. I told you."
Tsukishima frowns at his attitude. "Yes. But we're reviewing our options, so tell me again."
"Fine." Kuroo sighs, leaning back in his chair. "But please remember that I was a high schooler at the time, not a twenty year old adult like you are now."
Tsukishima just looks at him. Kuroo gives in and begins to tell the story.
"I remember I spent a few days buttering her up - washing her car, making her cakes, buying her DVDs and, you know, just generally reminding her that I'm a good son. I'd planned on telling her officially over lunch on Sunday, but when we were eating dinner on Saturday night, the Titanic was on the TV, and that's, like, my favourite movie, so I just thought "fuck it" and said "Leonardo DiCaprio is-" but then I stopped, too nervous to finish my sentence. My mum noticed, paused the film, turned to me and said "Honey, it's okay if you think he's hot. There's nothing wrong with being gay." and I burst into tears and hugged her. And that was that." Kuroo says, laughing a little at the memory.
The blond-haired man hums, nodding seriously, continuing to write in his notebook. "So you slipped it into casual conversation?"
"I suppose you could say that, yes."
Unsure, Tsukishima makes a face. "I don't think that'll work with my parents. They're a little bit dense. They probably wouldn't even notice if I said something subtly gay."
Another moment of silence passes by as the two of them consider other options. Then, it occurs to Kuroo that there is another option, a rather obvious option. "Christmas is coming up."
Tsukishima looks at him like he's gone crazy. "That's irrelevant, but yes, it is currently December."
"You could tell your mum that you're bringing someone home to introduce to her." Kuroo suggests, eyes wide. "No matter what she says, use gender neutral pronouns, and remember to keep it vague, avoid questions. Then, when Christmas comes around, you show up with me and say "This is my boyfriend, Kuroo." and act like nothing is out of the ordinary. Then you can see how they react. They won't be able to freak out in front of a guest, so that's a good thing. Not that I think they would freak out, either way." He assures, holding his hands up.
"Well." Tsukishima says, still not entirely sure about the idea. "That's still rather abrupt."
"Yes, it is," Kuroo admits. "But, it's also personal, because I'll be there to give great first impressions and be a polite, likeable boyfriend. After all, I'm known for my ability to charm the socks off of middle-aged women."
"Oh. That's true." After a second, Tsukishima grabs his boyfriend's hand, his expression serious but his eyes alight with excitement, and says "I love it."
Kuroo grins. "Me, too."
**
When Tsukishima finally calls his mother to tell her that he's bringing Kuroo home, it's been a whole week since they'd decided on the plan.
The truth is, he'd been procrastinating. He'd told Kuroo he was "too busy" to call her, and whenever the dark-haired man asked when he was going to do it, Tsukishima always had an excuse ready to pull out of his ass. But, the reality was that he was just too scared, and he couldn't stop worrying about whether he could handle lying to his mum. Well, it wouldn't be lying, as such, but rather failing to mention that the gender of his partner isn't female. Still, he and his mother were close when he was a child, and Tsukishima hates to not tell her things, even though they've grown apart over the years.
Oh, pull your head out of your ass, Kei. You've managed to fail to mention anything about Kuroo to her for almost two years now, you piece of shit, a voice in his head says. Wait, is that Bokuto's voice? What the fuck? You can handle a little more failing to mention things.
And it's true. As much as it pains him to admit it, Bokuto is right.
Despite this, Tsukishima still tries to put it off for a few more days. However, after a week of hearing "No, I can't call her, I have to do, uh, that thing.", Kuroo decides that enough is enough. He forces his blond-haired boyfriend onto the sofa, hands him the phone, then goes to stand by the door, blocking his exit. "Call her." He says.
And so, under duress, Tsukishima dials the number with shaking hands, lifting the ringing phone to his ear and waiting for her to pick up. The phone rings once, twice, three times, before finally, she says "Hello?" and it's almost too much for Tsukishima. He almost hangs up, almost clicks "end call" and throws the phone across the room, but he forces himself not to. It's for the best, he tells himself. For the future.
"Hi, mum, it's Kei." Tsukishima chokes out, trying and failing to make himself sound normal.
"Oh. Hello. Are you alright? Your voice sounds a bit rough."
"Y- Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a cold. You know how it is." He laughs awkwardly, coughing as if to prove his statement. Fuck, this is awful. It sounds like he's been kidnapped and someone is holding a gun to his head, forcing him to call his mum and tell her he's fine.
She's quiet for a second. "Oh, I hope you feel better soon, then."
"Thanks." He says, shortly. He breathes out, relieved that she'd bought his lie.
Another moment of silence passes. "Not to be rude, but I wasn't expecting a call from you. What did you want to say?"
And Tsukishima freezes up, having somehow forgotten why he'd called her in the first place. He feels sick, his stomach churning with nerves, though he doesn't know why this is such a big deal. It's not like he has to tell her he's gay now, he's got another few days before he needs to do that, but for some reason, his heart feels like it's about to come out of his mouth and his hands are clammy and he just- He feels like can't do it. "It's-" He starts, trying to plough onwards. "You know how Akiteru and I are coming to yours for Christmas?"
"Well. Yes." His mother sounds confused, to say the least. He can't blame her. He's acting so fucking weird, but he can't help it.
"Is- Is there room for one more? I want to introduce you to someone."
The woman inhales sharply. Tsukishima can feel the moment when it sinks in. "A girlfriend?" She asks, her voice incredibly high-pitched with contained excitement.
"A- A romantic partner, yes." He breathes out. Gender neutral phrases. He can do that.
"I can't believe it!" His mother seems to be vibrating with joy and it makes Tsukishima feel even more guilty for lying to her. "What's her name? How long have you been going out?"
"Uh- Their name is Tetsu." Tsukishima decides to keep it vague. Tetsu could be a girl's name, right? "We've been together for almost two years now."
"Two years?!" She exclaims, outraged. "That's such a long time! Why didn't you say something sooner?" Thankfully, she doesn't give Tsukishima time to reply before she continues to bombard her son with questions. "How did you meet?" She asks, eagerly. "What's she like?"
"I can't tell you, because that would be a spoiler, mother." He says, trying to sound playful. He laughs, and it sounds fake even to his own ears. "We'll leave the questions for the dinner table, shall we?"
"Okay, okay." She laughs. "Oh, Kei, I'm so glad you've finally met someone." She sighs, sounding so happy, so pleased for him. Tsukishima feels so fucking guilty. "Tell me, does she make you happy?"
Pausing, Tsukishima closes his eyes, smiling a little. He can answer this question honestly, because Kuroo doesn't have to be a girl to make him happy. He may have only realised this recently, but at least he knows it now. He breathes out, thinking about his boyfriend, thinking about how he can be annoying at times, thinking about how they sometimes clash because of their differences, but they always come back to each other in the end. "Yes." He says, quietly.
His mother sighs, happily. "I'm so- I'm so proud of you, Kei. I'm so glad you've found a girl that makes you happy. You've been alone for so long, it's wonderful that you have someone by your side now."
The guilt bubbles up further within him to the point where it's too much, and Tsukishima coughs, hating the feeling, hating that he has to do this. He feels the urge to end the phone call as soon as possible. "Alright, well, I'll see you at Christmas. Bye, mum."
"See you soon. Love you." His mother says.
He hangs up immediately, unable to return the statement without crying with guilt.
Exhausted, Tsukishima flops backwards on the sofa, closing his eyes. "That was the most awful phone call I've ever made."
Kuroo appears next to him suddenly, sitting down beside him. "Really? Worse than when I made you phone Kageyama to apologise for when you made fun of him for kissing Oikawa in front of everyone?"
"Yes. Yes, of course. At least all Kageyama said was "Uh, it's ok." then hung up on me. At least he didn't tell me he was proud of me, that he was glad I'd finally found a girl who made me happy and would stay by my side."
Humming in sympathy, Kuroo says "Damn. That's heavy."
And Tsukishima couldn't agree with him more.
At least it's over now! Bokuto's voice says, in his head. Congratulations on growing some balls, by the way!
"Wind your fucking neck in, Bokuto. Get out of my head." Tsukishima snaps, out loud, staring pointedly at the ceiling.
Kuroo knows better than to question it. He just smiles, pats his boyfriend's knee and says "Okay, I think you deserve some ice cream. Come on, let's get you fed." He says, pulling him up from the couch, and Tsukishima has never been more grateful that he has a boyfriend who knows exactly what he needs.