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What Love Feels Like

Summary:

“Kazuha, do you know what it feels like to be in love?”

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Kunikuzushi didn’t believe in love. His mother never loved him, his step-mother certainly didn’t love him, and none of his (for some reason) many suitors didn’t love him either.

He’d never felt any sort of attraction to anyone either, physical or emotional. He could acknowledge when someone was objectively pretty or handsome, but it never made him feel anything. Not even for Kaedehara Kazuha, one of the most objectively pretty and handsome guys at his college, maybe even the world, but that was objectively speaking and definitely not Kunikuzushi’s thinking. 

Even when Kazuha had made it his goal to be friends with Kunikuzushi and try to spend an unnecessary amount of time together, he still felt nothing. He only went to get coffee with Kazuha so he would stop asking and so he could finally leave the class they shared. 

Apparently, Kazuha enjoyed Kunikuzushi’s company too much, which he shouldn’t have with how uninterested Kunikuzushi was trying to act. He proceeded to ask him to get coffee with him before their next class, then the class after that, and the class after that, until Kazuha had started inviting him everywhere. Kunikuzushi should’ve said no, but Kazuha probably would’ve annoyed him into going anyway. 

Multiple people had asked Kunikuzushi if he was dating Kazuha. He didn’t understand why hanging out with Kazuha would mean they were dating. They didn’t even do much when they hung out. Kazuha would do most of the talking and Kunikuzushi just followed along.

Today was like no other. Kazuha had asked Kunikuzushi to hang out with him after class, so he did. They went to their usual after class spot under a tree. Kazuha pulled out a book and started reading. Kunikuzushi had finished his homework for the day and decided he could use some rest, laying his back against the tree and closing his eyes. 

For some reason, Kazuha kept popping into his head no matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts away. He kept thinking about Kazuha’s smooth voice, his soft and delicate features, the way his brows scrunch when he’s focused, and the tender way he looks at Kunikuzushi.

“Kazuha,” Kunikuzushi starts, causing the other to lift his gaze from his book. “Do you know what it feels like to be in love?”

Kazuha blinks at him a few times, not having expected the question “I do.”

Kunikuzushi shifts, suddenly not liking the way Kazuha’s eyes lingered on his own. “What’s it like?”

Kazuha looked away and thought about it for a moment before turning back to Kunikuzushi. “It feels nice, like the warmth of the summer sun. Like a soft blanket on a cold night.”

Kunikuzushi should’ve known Kazuha wouldn’t give him a straight answer, but he didn’t want to keep pressing on the matter. If he continued to ask questions, Kauzha might think he was trying to figure something out, which he certainly wasn’t. 

“I have a feeling that’s not the answer you were looking for,” Kazuha let out a soft chuckle. The time spent around Kazuha was starting to backfire. “For me, it started with a want to get close to this person. A pull that drew me towards them, a yearning to be in their presence. When I had finally gotten their attention, I craved to never have it leave. I longed to spend as much time as possible together, even for the most mundane tasks.” Kazuha took a breath before continuing. “ I knew from the moment I met them that I had fallen for them and I continue to do so every day.” 

Kunikuzushi turned to look at Kazuha who had a serene smile on his face. “How come you’ve never mentioned this person to me before?” For some reason, hearing Kazuha talk about someone else with such endearment sent a pang through his chest. 

Kazuha let out a nervous laugh, his cheeks dusting pink. “I guess you never asked.” 

“But you talk about everyone to me, even about the most inconsequential things. How could you not mention someone who is so important to you?” Kunikuzushi almost felt betrayed. There was someone that Kazuha cared about so dearly, but he had never once brought it up before. They’ve spent so much time together. At times Kunikuzushi thought Kazuha had no one else to hang out with. 

Kazuha remained silent, choosing to take in Kunikuzushi’s expressions instead. He seemed to watch as the cogs turned in the other's head. He even smiled a little when Kunikuzushi’s eyes widened. “It seems you’ve figured it out.”

Kunikuzushi opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Kazuha continued to smile at him and when Kunikuzushi still couldn’t say anything, he took the liberty of filling the silence himself. “I surely thought you had figured it out but hadn’t reciprocated my feelings, so I settled with enjoying your company as best I could. Was I wrong in my assumption?” 

Kunikuzushi was still in shock. He hadn’t doubted that Kazuha meant the words he was saying, but he couldn’t understand why Kazuha believed them to be true. How could he have thought that he had feelings for Kunikuzushi? No one had loved Kunikuzushi, and Kunikuzushi had loved no one, so why did the confession make his heart race? Why was his voice caught in his throat, unable to make a snarky remark? 

Realizing he had been sitting there with his mouth open, probably looking like an idiot, Kunikuzushi clamped his lips shut. He furrowed his brow in confusion at the feelings that stirred within him, unable to make sense of his own thoughts. 

Kunikuzushi looked at Kazuha, who was still waiting for a response. Kunikuzushi scanned over his features, tracing over the tired look in Kazuha’s eyes, the tint of his cheeks, and the curve of his lip. His eyes lingered on his lips for longer than they should have. He was only drawn back to Kazuha’s eyes when a strand of hair was tucked behind his ear. 

Kunikuzushi still didn’t know what to say as he looked into Kazuha’s eyes, but luckily the other decided to speak again for him, “Can I kiss you?” 

Kunikuzushi nodded his head slowly and Kazuha leaned in, their lips gently meeting. Kazuha held his soft lips against Kunikuzushi’s own before pulling back. Kunikuzushi didn’t want the feeling to end, grabbing Kazuha’s shoulders and pulling him back in for another kiss. Admittedly it was nowhere near a perfect kiss, not like Kunikuzushi had any others to compare it to.

When they had finally pulled away, Kazuha still persisted on an answer, “So, is that a yes?” 

“What do you think?” Kunikuzushi huffed, not wanting to verbalize his feelings. He crossed his arms and laid back against the tree. Kazuha let out a laugh and scooted closer to Kunikuzushi, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Does this mean I can take you out to dinner now and not just coffee dates?” 

“Those weren’t dates, but I guess we can get food together.” Kunikuzushi rolled his eyes, leaning his head on top of Kazuha’s. 

Kazuha reached his hand out to Kunikuzushi’s and gently intertwined their fingers. “So you wouldn’t call this a date either?”

“No.” 

The next day, all their friends were asking if he and Kazuha were finally dating. Kunikuzushi never said yes, but he also never said no. So when Kazuha grabbed Kunikuzushi’s hand with a wide grin, everyone knew the answer.

Notes:

First time posting on ao3... hopefully if you made it to the end that means you liked it
If you want you can check out my twt: adeptussarah