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“I can’t believe Tsubaki blew me off,” Kagari growled. The click click of her fingernail tapping against her phone screen as she flipped through her messages for the umpteenth time was loud and clear to Matsuri, even against the background drone of Akanegasaki High School’s lunch period.
“She did at least let you know in advance that she wouldn’t be able to make it,” Matsuri tried offering, hoping for Tsubaki’s sake that she might be able to alleviate a bit of Kagari’s ire.
“Yeah, but we had plans and she canceled! Doesn’t she know how much I was looking forward to it?!”
Matsuri tried and mostly succeeded at not wincing at her twin’s volume. Kagari’s foot was tapping now, which was never a good sign. The chattering of the other students in the classroom didn’t falter in the face of Kagari’s outburst, but rather just grew louder to try to drown her out, individual voices mashing together into an assault on Matsuri’s ears. “I’m sure she was looking forward to it too,” Matsuri tried, changing tactics. “She probably just has her hands full dealing with Chisato…”
Kagari went quiet, the sounds of her foot and fingernail both ceasing, and Matsuri realized that she’d made a mistake in bringing up Tsubaki’s latest ward. “…I’m gonna go get some air,” Kagari said suddenly, and Matsuri felt the air move as her sister turned to leave, but she didn’t catch what else Kagari was doing until it was too late. There was a slight tug on Matsuri’s desk as her school bag was ‘accidentally’ pulled off its hook, and then a clatter as the bag dropped to the floor and spilled its contents all over. “Oops!” Kagari said disingenuously. “My bad, I’m such a klutz.”
The sound of Kagari’s leaving footsteps grew further away until they were swallowed up by the noise of the classroom, which continued on as if nothing had happened. Matsuri sighed and carefully got out of her seat, kneeling to pick up her things. Luckily most of it hadn’t gotten far and she was able to sweep it back into her bag without a problem, but as she ran her fingers through her bag to make sure she had everything, she realized she was still missing her braille stylus. She felt around for it, but it must have rolled further away when it slipped out, and she’d missed the sound of it in the clatter. If only she could turn back time to listen for it again, but unfortunately, life didn’t hand out second chances. This was going to be a problem, she needed her stylus for taking notes for her next class, but fumbling all over the classroom floor looking for it would be…
“Excuse me, I think this is yours.”
The soft voice was a bolt from the blue, cutting through the noise around her. She’d been too preoccupied to pay attention to the quiet footsteps approaching, but even if she had, the voice would have startled her all the same. She knew that voice, but it belonged to a girl she’d never met.
No, she had to be imagining things. She picked herself up off the floor and smiled in the direction of the kind stranger, holding out her hand. “Thank you so much for finding it for me!”
The stylus was placed in her waiting hand, and Matsuri felt the soft touch of warm fingers brush against hers in the exchange. For some reason she’d expected to feel the callouses of a swordfighter, but that was silly of her.
“Have we met before?” Matsuri asked, though she almost never forgot a voice.
“No, I only just transferred to this school. I’m actually in class 1-B, not this one, but I was passing by and saw what happened, and…it looked like you needed help.” In a quieter voice, but not so quiet that Matsuri’s sensitive ears didn’t catch it, the girl added “What she did was cruel…”
Matsuri winced a little, and returned her stylus to her bag. “Sorry you had to see that. My sister is just going through a lot, she didn’t mean anything by it…” Kagari was prone to lashing out, but she’d gone for Matsuri’s bag instead of the bento on her desk, which showed that she wasn’t trying to be too mean. “But it’s very nice to meet you! I’m Matsuri Hinata.”
“My name is Suzune Amano.” For a moment Matsuri could see the girl reflected in her mind’s eye: her shy smile, her silver hair, her gentle eyes. “It was nice meeting you too.”
Matsuri could hear the rustle of Suzune’s clothes as she turned to go, and she found herself calling out, half-reaching out with her arm. “Ah, Suzune! You know, I…I would really like it if we could be friends!”
The background noise of the classroom was as loud as ever, but in the quiet between Suzune and herself, Matsuri could hear her heart hammering. What kind of expression did Suzune have? Surprise? Annoyance? Pity? Matsuri wished she could see it.
“…I would like that too,” Suzune said at last. Matsuri thought her own face would tear from how broad her smile was. “So, let’s be friends, Matsuri. Ah, that is, if it’s alright for me to call you that?”
Matsuri laughed. “Of course it is!”
For a long time now, Matsuri had been having strange dreams. She wasn’t sure when they had started, and she didn’t remember them every night, but they were so different from her other dreams and so consistent in content that eventually she couldn’t help but pay special attention to them.
In these dreams, she could see. Even though in the waking world she’d always lived in darkness, in these dreams she lived in a world of light and color. It was a world of magic and miracles, where she transformed into a hero and did battle against the forces of evil. A world where she made wonderful friends that she fought together with through thick and thin. They were dazzling dreams that used to make her wish she could just stay in bed and never have to wake up.
Until she’d later realized that the dream world wasn’t all just rainbows and sweetness. Beneath the glitter and wonder on the surface was a sea of blood and tears. Where heroes were doomed to become monsters, where she saw all of her friends fall one by one before her eyes. Where her sister succumbed to hatred and madness. Where she eventually found herself fighting alone against enemies both without and within, trying to stay strong against despair.
The dreams didn’t always play out in order, and she was pretty sure they repeated themselves sometimes. Rather than seeing a story from beginning to end, she felt more like she was getting murky glimpses of a great canvas, trying to fit it all together one piece at a time.
And throughout the dreams, there was one figure that stood out above all the others. She didn’t show up in every dream, or even most of them, but whenever she did, it was striking. A girl with glistening silver hair, who wielded a searing blade that shone like a brilliant star, and who had such lonely eyes. A dear friend who fought until her light went out, who passed on her wishes to Matsuri in the end, and who would never, ever be forgotten again. She was the one girl that Matsuri had only ever met in her dreams, and never been able to find in the waking world.
Until now.
The two of them became close friends almost overnight. Suzune started by asking if they could study together, citing that she was new to the school and didn’t know anybody, and Matsuri was only too happy for the chance to get to know the literal girl of her dreams. She found that Suzune was eager for Matsuri’s attention, anxious about making any mistakes, and endlessly patient when it came to Matsuri’s blindness. She was a sweet girl, with a certain quiet desperation to be her friend.
Having Suzune on her side opened up opportunities for her. Matsuri had always strived for independence and prided herself on being able to get around without anyone’s help, but having Suzune there made everything easier, and Suzune never once made Matsuri feel like she was imposing on her. There were a couple of occasions early on where Suzune was a bit too accommodating, a bit too eager to guard her, and Matsuri had to make it clear that she wasn’t helpless and didn’t want to be coddled. Suzune was quick to take that in stride, and found a balance that worked for both of them. They went out on adventures, to the mountains and the beach and to old shrines, and Matsuri got to take in the scents and the atmosphere and feel the wind on her face, and it made her feel free.
It was the best time of Matsuri’s life. She’d always found it difficult to make friends; she liked to think that she had a cheerful and friendly disposition, but it was hard when she didn’t quite fit in with most people. She had Tsubaki, but a caretaker wasn’t the same thing, and she had Kagari, but Kagari had a tendency to scare away anyone Matsuri might have had a chance at getting close to. But Suzune wasn’t intimidated, either by Matsuri’s disability or by her twin. Suzune and Kagari had butted heads a few times and didn’t look like they were going to actually get along anytime soon, but there seemed to be something of a grudging respect forming between them, once they both recognized that they were trying, in their own ways, to look out for Matsuri.
As time went on they just kept getting closer. Matsuri made frequent visits to Suzune’s house and met her parents, who seemed elated that their girl was bringing a friend over (much to Suzune’s embarrassment), and Suzune became a frequent visitor at the Hinata residence (which Kagari wasn’t thrilled about, but she took it as an excuse to spend more time out of the house visiting with Tsubaki). Matsuri wanted to know everything there was to know about the girl who had leapt out of her dreams and into her life.
And so, one evening as they were cozily leaning shoulder-to-shoulder in Suzune’s bedroom, ostensibly studying, Matsuri found herself overcome with curiosity. She traced her hand up Suzune’s arm, to her neck, to her cheek. “Can I touch your face?”
“…You already are.” Suzune sounded bashful, and her cheek was warm to the touch.
“Mmhm. Is it okay?”
“…You can touch wherever you want.”
Matsuri brought her other hand up to gently get a good look at Suzune. Carefully tracing the lines of her chin, her nose, her eyelashes. Imagining how she looked in the dream, and comparing it to how she felt now. It was, of course, a perfect match…or almost. That Suzune had lost her life while she was still a middle schooler, so this Suzune had grown a little. And…maybe Matsuri was just projecting what she wanted to find, but she thought this Suzune’s expression was a little looser, a little gentler, without the guilt that she’d carried in the dream.
“How do I look?” Suzune asked. Her voice had just a slight tremble to it, something that anyone other than Matsuri might have missed.
“Beautiful, like I always knew,” Matsuri proclaimed cheerfully. Her fingers moved on to Suzune’s hair, flowing through her smooth locks. It was hard to follow her hair all the way from here, though, so she repositioned herself to sit behind Suzune. “You have such long hair,” she cooed. “Do you always wear it loose like this?”
“Usually. It gets in the way sometimes,” she admitted, “but I like it long.”
“What if you put it up in a ponytail?” Matsuri asked, remembering how she’d seen Suzune in the dream. “Do you have a hair tie or anything?”
Suzune’s clothes rustled a little as she fidgeted slightly. “I have…something, but…”
“But?”
“It’s a little embarrassing. Give me a moment.” Matsuri released Suzune’s hair so the other girl could get up and go to her drawers. It was easy to track by the sound as Suzune opened a drawer and rifled through it, retrieving something before closing the drawer and returning. She took her spot in front of Matsuri again and passed a small item to her.
Matsuri carefully explored it with her fingers and was quick to identify it. It was a small charm, like the sort of good luck charms you could get at shrines, with a little bell on it. “It’s like Tsubaki’s.”
Suzune stiffened in front of her. “I liked the design, but I didn’t want people thinking I was copying her.”
“I’d be able to find you anywhere with this bell,” Matsuri said, teasing a little.
“I wouldn’t want you to mistake me for Tsubaki,” Suzune protested.
“I’d never mistake you. Your quiet footsteps aren’t like hers at all.” Matsuri squeezed gently at the charm, feeling multiple slips of paper inside of it. As far as she knew, the only time that Suzune had met Tsubaki was a couple of occasions when Tsubaki had been over while Suzune was visiting Matsuri’s house. But in the dream, Suzune had been Tsubaki’s ward, hadn’t she? “…Hey, um. Stop me if I’m being too nosy, but, is it okay if I open this?”
A moment of quiet passed, and then Suzune turned and held Matsuri’s hand with the charm. “You won’t be able to read them. I only wrote them for myself, so they aren’t in braille.”
Right. Matsuri sighed. “I know…”
Another pause, then Suzune pulled the charm from her. At first Matsuri thought she was going to put it away again, but then she heard Suzune open the charm and pull out a slip of paper. “These might not make a lot of sense. Are you sure you want to hear them?”
Matsuri’s heart was beating quickly. This felt important, like she was on the edge of an answer. “Please. If it’s okay with you, that is.”
“…They’re names,” Suzune explained. “This one is…Chisato Shion. She’s an upperclassman at our school.”
“I know.” Matsuri had dreamed of her, a Magical Girl all in blue, fighting for justice with a pair of pistols. “…She had a really hard time after her mom passed away, and her home life got difficult.” She was reluctant to say too much, but if Suzune was baring her heart like this, Matsuri felt like it was only right that she do the same. “I…asked Tsubaki to check in on her. Her dad was mistreating her, so Tsubaki intervened, and, well, now she lives with Tsubaki.”
Suzune didn’t comment on it, but it felt like mutual understanding passed between them. She pulled out another slip. “Arisa Narumi.”
Matsuri’s arms prickled. A pink Magical Girl with a fierce scythe, reckless and true. “She’s another upperclassman. She got bullied really badly in middle school.” Matsuri had wanted to do something for her, but even if Arisa hadn’t been a year ahead of her, it was difficult for Matsuri to try to clean up the messes that the bullies made, particularly when they weren’t always things that Matsuri could ‘see’, like writing on desks and blackboards. “I let one of the student representatives know, and she helped deal with it. That representative was, um, Chisato, actually.” Arisa and Chisato seemed to have gotten really close afterward, she’d been pleased to hear, even if she couldn’t be friends with them herself in this world.
“Haruka Kanade,” Suzune continued on, and it felt like a ritual now.
“She’s a senior, a year above Arisa and Chisato.” A reliable orange Magical Girl elegantly wielding a bladed staff. “She’s…a bit of a delinquent, actually?” That had been a surprising difference from the dream Haruka. “Um, she’s sort of friends with my sister. It sounds like Haruka has a hard time with living up to the example that her own sister sets. I think she and Kagari like to vent to each other about their frustrations.”
“You’ve been helping them all,” Suzune said, delicately.
“I wasn’t able to help them,” Matsuri disagreed, a touch bitterly. “All I could do was point people that could help at them.”
“And that’s how you helped them.” Another slip was pulled from the charm. “Tsubaki Mikoto…your caretaker as a child.”
Matsuri nodded. She didn’t have anything to add this time. Tsubaki was still a family friend and came by from time to time, and Kagari was enamored with her, but Suzune knew that. The question was… “Why do you know all those names?”
“…There should be more names, but they’re hard to remember. It took me a long time to get this many. I want to get the others someday, but for now, the last one is…Matsuri Hinata.” Warm fingers enclosed Matsuri’s own, and there was a touch of heat in Suzune’s voice as she continued. “I didn’t actually come upon you by chance on the day we met, I’d been looking for you. Because I want to be the one to help you.”
An answering heat took up residence in Matsuri’s cheeks. “I always wanted to find you too. The brave girl with the lonely eyes. Are we…the same? I…”
“I dreamed of you,” Suzune said, and her voice was close now, her head leaning in. “I…I wanted you to be happy in this world…”
Matsuri pulled her fingers away from Suzune’s hands, and back up to her face. “I am happy,” she said softly, feeling a rush of emotion bubble up from her chest. “Because, in this world…you’re alive, and you’re with me.”
And Matsuri leaned forward, using her hands as her guide, and brushed their lips together. She’d found her light.