Archive of Our Own ^beta

from unknown
hi, iwaizumi here. i just wanted to let you know that you won my giveaway but i haven’t heard from you! please text me back asap to claim your prize :)

to unknown
wow i’m a winner
what’s in the giveaway omg

from unknown
makeup...?

to unknown
oh nvm i’m a guy
also, you definitely have the wrong number

from unknown
..... ok
1. being a guy doesn’t mean you can’t wear makeup
2. bye

to iwaizumi
hey

from iwaizumi
why are you texting me?

to iwaizumi
so mean!!!! i didn’t even say anything yet!!!
i just wanted to apologize
i found one of your videos or whatever
and i didn’t realize you were a guy
so, i’m sorry for being insulting
geez and you were so mean!!!!!
you owe me now!!!! ٩(♡ε♡ )۶

from iwaizumi
how does this mean that i owe you

to iwaizumi
shhh just think about it and you’ll realize
your videos are really cool though
idk i’ve never been into makeup bc
...
bc i always THOUGHT it wasn’t for guys
but it’s kinda nice to watch you put it on

from iwaizumi
yeah i’ve been told i’m easy on the eyes

to iwaizumi
THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!! (╯°□°)╯

from iwaizumi
lol sure that’s convincing

to iwaizumi
THAT’S SO EMBARRASSING UGHHHHH

from iwaizumi
good lord, how straight are you

to iwaizumi
excuse you, just bc i’m not forward doesn’t mean i’m straight!!!!
that being said, no comment

from iwaizumi
hmm
how did you find my videos anyway

to iwaizumi
i have your last name and the fact that you had a makeup giveaway
google exists
i thought you’d know how the internet works
mr. fairly sensational vlogger

from iwaizumi
ok you don’t have to be an asshole
isn’t that kind of creepy
i don’t even know your name

to iwaizumi
!!! i can’t give my name out to some STRANGER
you can call me a cute nickname if you want

from iwaizumi
ah
hello, shithead

to iwaizumi
omg you are the rudest person ever
and here i was planning on calling u iwa-chan or something sweet

from iwaizumi
.... please never

to iwa-chan
too late, i changed ur name in my contacts
ur stuck w/ the cutest nickname forever
⊙‿⊙✿

from iwa-chan
i have to go
forever
bye

to iwa-chan
iwa-chaaaaaaaaaaan
iwa-chan i wanna talk to you
i’m so bored help help help
iwa-chaaaaan!!
IWA-CHAN I CAN SEE THE READ RECEIPTS

from iwa-chan
fuck

to iwa-chan
ಥ‿ಥ
you’re so cold to me
i’m just a lonely boy looking for some company
and u ignore my texts

from iwa-chan
ok let’s play twenty questions

to iwa-chan
omg really???!!

from iwa-chan
yeah, really
i’ll go first
why don’t you have friends to talk to instead of me

to iwa-chan
ok first of all
i almost screeched in the waiting room
you would’ve had to apologize to all these people
second of all, I HAVE FRIENDS???
just because they aren’t around to entertain me right now doesn’t mean i don’t have them!!!

from iwa-chan
waiting room?

to iwa-chan
it’s a room where you wait, iwa-chan
not that difficult

from iwa-chan
i know that, you asshole
i was just trying to show concern

to iwa-chan
ohhhhhh
ohhhhHHHHH
OHHHHHHH
乁( ◔ ౪◔)ㄏ

from iwa-chan
please stop

to iwa-chan
you’re concerned, huh?
you LIKE me, huh?????
i knew i’d win you over!!!

from iwa-chan
just to clarify
i’m trying to be a decent human being
that doesn’t mean i like you

to iwa-chan
aaaand we’re back to the icy cold
brr, iwa-chan. brr.

from iwa-chan
you dodged my question, though
are you okay?

to iwa-chan
LOL of all the things to worry about
i spend my life in waiting rooms, iwa-chan
speaking of which, my wait is over!!
thanks for the entertainment <3

from iwa-chan
yeah, sure, whatever
...
you’re welcome

from makki
i’ll be there to pick you up in ten minutes
sorry i wasn’t able to chill w/ you in the waiting room today

to makki
it’s okay!!!!
i found a way to have fun myself! (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

from makki
oh my god you texted that makeup boy, didn’t you

to makki
what??? no way??? uh definitely not??

from makki
oh my god. oh my GOD you’re so into him
have you confessed yet
have you told him you bingewatched all of his videos last weekend
have you mentioned how you jerked off to his voice

to makki
THAT’S NOT TRUE
DON’T JUST TEXT SHIT LIKE THAT
THE DUDE WHO’S FILLING OUT MY FILES IS LOOKING AT ME WEIRDLY

from makki
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
so when’s the wedding
i’m best man, right

to makki
ugh shut up i’m p sure he thinks i’m straight

from makki
ok you’re going to have to let me read these texts
because i need to figure out how the hellaciously bi oikawa tooru is coming off as straight

to makki
bc i panicked when he said he was attractive

from makki
oh my god you meme ლ(ಠ益ಠლ

to makki
it’s weird okay!!!!!!!
how do you even say that??!?!?!?
“hi i watched u talk about makeup for a solid 15 hours and i think i want to fuck you now”????

from makki
text him exactly that
i’ll do it for you

to makki
can you stop texting and actually drive over here to pick me up
thanks
bye

The sun is bright when Tooru leaves the office, and he’s glad for the sunglasses he slid on before leaving the house. He doesn’t have to wait for long before Hanamaki drives up, leaning over to open the passenger side door so that Tooru can pull himself into his seat.

“So, now that we’re both here, can we have a conversation about how whipped you are over this boy?” Hanamaki asks as soon as he starts driving, and Tooru doesn’t bother suppressing his groan.

“I swear to God, Makki, I’ll jump out of this car. Don’t think I won’t do it.”

“Okay, okay, fine! Jeez.” Hanamaki drums his fingers on the steering wheel. “I was just trying to make some new conversation, but I guess we can go with the shit I always ask. How was your appointment?”

Tooru scowls, looking pointedly out of the window. “I’m not whipped, first of all.” Hanamaki crows, delighted at the subject shifting back to his topic of choice. Tooru rolls his eyes. He doesn’t know why they’re even friends in the first place. “I’m not whipped,” he repeats, even louder over his friend’s laughter. “He’s just. I don’t know. I like talking to him.” He fiddles with his seatbelt, then shrugs, trying to keep his voice casual as he continues. “He responds to me.”

Makki gets quieter, which means that he must be looking over at Tooru, so Tooru makes sure not to make eye contact. “You know your other friends would respond to you too. They miss you.”

“Yeah, I know.” Tooru frowns a little to himself. “It’s just different now. You know that.”

Hanamaki does know that. He hums softly, and Tooru hums even more softly in response, and they don’t speak for a few minutes. As they near the apartment they share, Makki pipes up again. “I get that you don’t want to fuck him right away, but you can connect with him. Why don’t you send him a link to your YouTube?”

“Uh.” Tooru’s cheeks turn red, and he stares down at his lap. “Nope. No can do. That’s definitely not happening.”

He can practically hear the gears in Hanamaki’s mind grinding until he realizes what’s going on. “Oh my God, you’ve already posted a goopy cover about him, haven’t you? Oikawa, you’re a fucking nerd. I hope you know that.”

“Okay, it’s not that big of a deal! And it wasn’t a goopy cover. It’s not like I was singing about loving him or anything. Just… he reminded me of a song, and I sang it, and it came out good, so I posted it. That’s all.”

“Yeah, sure.” Makki snorts, pulling into a parking spot. “So if I check out your channel, the latest song won’t be something super gay by Troye Sivan? You’re promising that?”

Tooru turns pink, glad that he hasn’t gone with his first idea when choosing a song for the video. “No,” he protests anyway, as if the very idea of him singing Troye Sivan is out of the question. He opens the car door carefully, easing himself out as he says, “If you really have to know, it was Everything Has Changed.”

It doesn’t help that Hanamaki almost falls over laughing at his words, clutching his stomach. It takes him a minute or so to wipe the tears of mirth from his face and sling an arm around Tooru’s shoulder. “Babe, I have to say, that’s definitely worse.”

from iwa-chan
hmm
you’ve watched one of my videos, right?

to iwa-chan
good morning to you too, iwa-chan!
i’m doing quite well, thanks for asking (▰˘◡˘▰)
how are you doing?

from iwa-chan
unnecessary

to iwa-chan
honestly, you’re so rude
how are you so popular online??
i should reveal ur true self to your fans

from iwa-chan
you’re the one who insulted me the first time we ever spoke
i’m still cashing in on that one

to iwa-chan
i was ignorant!!!
and i apologized!!!!
you’re a jerk!!!!

from iwa-chan
a jerk with a question that i’d like answered

to iwa-chan
hmph
i guess since i’m so gracious and kind
i’ll willingly answer it
yes, i’ve watched one of your videos, as i’ve said before

from iwa-chan
what did you think?

to iwa-chan
??? are you trying to get a compliment from me???
you can’t just ask for flattery straight out, iwa-chan
or maybe you’re not used to being told nice things?
i can believe that

from iwa-chan
oh my god, you moron
i wanted criticism, not flattery
though now i’m regretting asking you for anything in the first place

to iwa-chan
wait, wait!!!!
okay i’ll take this seriously!!!!
what sort of criticism do you want?

from iwa-chan
anything that comes to mind
i just want to be better at this

to iwa-chan
you know that you’re semi-famous, right?

from iwa-chan
yeah, i know i have a bunch of subscribers
but i don’t want my videos to get static
this is what i’m doing with my life right now
besides school, i guess
so i want to be good at it

to iwa-chan
ooh
was being a famous makeup vlogger your dream, iwa-chan?

from iwa-chan
not by a long shot
but here i am
and even if it’s not my dream, i like it
and it’s a surprisingly decent source of income

to iwa-chan
so practical
you’ll make a good spouse someday

from iwa-chan
what the hell is that supposed to mean

to iwa-chan
ANYWAY
i only saw one of your videos
maybe a couple
i don’t really recall
but i thought they were really good
like your lighting and your video are all professional looking
you appear friendly
(even though i know the truth ಠ_ಠ)
i guess i learned stuff about makeup too

from iwa-chan
so, as a person who’s not really interested in makeup
would you keep watching?

to iwa-chan
um
yeah, maybe!
probably!
it’s a good way to pass the time.

from iwa-chan
ok...
good to know.

to iwa-chan
isn’t there something you should say??
now that i’ve kindly given you all this information?

from iwa-chan
nope
bye

to iwa-chan
you are a brute and i’m never texting you again
i hope you’re happy

from iwa-chan
oh, is that all i had to do?
good riddance
...
(also thank you)
(i guess)

to iwa-chan
iwa-chan i need you
i’m in the middle of a Fierce Debate and i need to know what side you’re on
which is more likely to exist:
an alien species or bigfoot

from iwa-chan
i was about to go to sleep, you dick

to iwa-chan
oh
i’m sorry
i’m really sorry

from iwa-chan
bigfoot, by the way

to iwa-chan
ok so you’re dead to me

from iwa-chan
what??

to iwa-chan
aliens exist!!
wake up!!
the truth is out there!!!

from iwa-chan
no fucking way
you believe in conspiracy theories?

to iwa-chan
that’s not how you spell evidence

from iwa-chan
sure
who’s fiercely debating with you?

to iwa-chan
the roommate
he’s insistent on the bigfoot point too
but i don’t think it’s cause he cares that much about cryptids
he just knows i’m overemotional about aliens

from iwa-chan
why?

to iwa-chan
??

from iwa-chan
why do you care so much about aliens?

to iwa-chan
oh
idk
it’ll sound stupid if I tell you

from iwa-chan
that’s never stopped you before

to iwa-chan
凸(￣ヘ￣)

from iwa-chan
i feel like saying “fuck you” would’ve got the sentiment across
w/ much less effort
for the record, i really am curious about the alien thing

to iwa-chan
ugh.
it’s just
i was kind of a nerdy kid
don’t say anything

from iwa-chan
fuck

to iwa-chan
i KNEW you were going to be an ass
but anyway
i was nerdy and kind of lonely as a kid
like i didn’t have a lot of friends
so i used to bury myself in my interests
cause that’s how i had fun
and one of my biggest interests was space
i just watched a lot of tv shows about space
and read books
and now i know weird trivia that doesn’t help me at all in life
and i believe in aliens
the end.

from iwa-chan
hey, that’s a fair reason to love space.
i don’t know if that’s a good justification for the alien bit
but it makes sense, at least

to iwa-chan
thanks.

from iwa-chan
and if it makes you feel any better
i just think it’ll probably be easier for us to prove the existence of cryptids than aliens
that doesn’t mean aliens aren’t out there

to iwa-chan
(/ω＼)
iwa-chan, you sure know your way to a boy’s heart

from iwa-chan
yep, i’m a charmer
so what happened with the debate?

to iwa-chan
oh, my roomie left when i pulled out my phone
he wanted to give us “alone time”

from iwa-chan
??
what

to iwa-chan
oh, right
i’ve mentioned you to my roommate because we’ve kind of been texting often
and he thinks i’m in love with you or something

from iwa-chan
ah
so are you?

to iwa-chan
no!!!
and even if i was, why would i tell you???

from iwa-chan
to flatter me
i’m not used to being told nice things, remember?

to iwa-chan
you can’t just use my own words against me

from iwa-chan
lmao i just did
but honestly, have we really been texting that often?

to iwa-chan
i mean, we’ve had a few conversations
that’s not normal for me
i’m not the greatest texter

from iwa-chan
really?

to iwa-chan
what?

from iwa-chan
you just seem like you text a lot
with the kaomojis and stuff

to iwa-chan
haha... yeah, i guess
i used to
i don’t really that often, lately
...

from iwa-chan
???
you alright?

to iwa-chan
yeah i’m fine!!
sorry i must sound like a basket case
the point is, my roommate is making gagging noises from the other room
and i’m definitely not in love with you

from iwa-chan
i’m definitely not in love with you either
so that works out well

to iwa-chan
mhmm!

(￣▽￣)ノ

you should go back to sleep now, iwa-chan
i’ve kept you up too late
and of the two of us, you definitely need your beauty sleep!!

from iwa-chan
oi
you need to go to bed too
at least i can put on makeup if i don’t get enough sleep
you’ve got no defense

to iwa-chan
hufffffff if you say so!!
sweet dreams (◡‿◡✿)

from iwa-chan
you too

“So. How was your conversation with loverboy last night?” Takahiro swirls his glass and takes a drink, as if he’s sipping a mimosa at 5 p.m. and not drinking orange juice for breakfast. Still. Life is nothing without theatrics, and he likes making Oikawa laugh.

And Oikawa does laugh, though he tries his best to keep himself from making any sound. “You need to stop calling him that, first of all.” Oikawa shakes his head as he takes a seat and reaches for the cereal already left out on the table for him. Takahiro is a good friend, okay. “And, you know. It was nice. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just- a fine conversation.”

Takahiro snorts at that, but he’s been planning on trying out this new thing - being a good friend, or whatever. So instead of teasing Oikawa even more, he nods. “So you two are becoming friends. That’s good."

“Yeah! Yup. It’s… nice.” That’s three responses to one statement. Now, Takahiro wouldn’t call himself the sharpest knife in the drawer or whatever, but he knows his friends. He knows this friend in particular.

So he’s pretty sure he’s right when he says, “Something’s bugging you.” The way Oikawa squirms in his seat is enough to confirm his suspicions. “Alright, out with it. What’s up?”

“Okay. Um.” Oikawa bites his lip before blurting out, “What would you think if I wore makeup? And this isn’t a joke, so don’t- please don’t treat it like one.”

Takahiro blinks. Once. Twice. “Um, I’d be fine with it. It’s your call. And you’d probably look really hot, so it’d be a good choice.” He shrugs, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “But more importantly, you don’t need my permission or whatever for something like that. Live your life. Follow your dreams. I showed you High School Musical for this express purpose.”

“No, you showed me High School Musical so that I would understand your weird references,” Oikawa corrects, but he’s grinning now, which is an improvement.

“Alright, I’ll give you that. Now I get to ask you a question - why the sudden interest in makeup?”

He jumps on the defensive almost immediately. “It’s not what you think it is, okay?”

“That’s why I asked! If I thought you were getting into makeup purely because of your new friend, I would be teasing you about it. Like, I definitely wouldn’t let it go. But I know that’s not the case. So?”

“I don’t know. It’s… I’ve been away from a lot of the stuff I’ve done my whole life in the past couple months. So… maybe something new will make me feel less like I’m missing all the old stuff. You know.” After a beat, he adds on, “And my therapist said I need new hobbies.”

Takahiro drains his glass, getting to his feet to rinse it out. “Well, Kiyoko-san is usually right. So we can go shopping for makeup stuff together, if that’s the new hobby you’ve chosen. Though I don’t know why your music doesn’t count.”

Oikawa snorts, and Takahiro can practically hear him roll his eyes as he speaks. “I touch my guitar once a month, at most. That doesn’t count as a hobby. And it’s not like I post shit to YouTube on a schedule.”

“So make it into one. You don’t need to reinvent yourself just to get your mind off volleyball.” He hesitates. “Like, you can if you want to. But it’s not as if the old Oikawa has to be lost forever to make these months bearable. I actually like the old Oikawa.”

“Thanks for the glowing words of praise,” his roommate responds straight away, but Takahiro doesn’t miss the pensive tone in his voice. “And… I’ll think about it.” There’s silence in the kitchen for a few moments before it’s interrupted by a loud sneeze. Takahiro jumps as Oikawa moans, rubbing at his nose. “Oh no.”

to iwa-chan
i’m dying
sos
pls save me
can feel my soul slipping away from my weak mortal body

from iwa-chan
ok, i’ll bite
what’s wrong

to iwa-chan
i have a cold :(

from iwa-chan
please say you’re kidding me

to iwa-chan
[img]

from iwa-chan
1. did you just send me a filtered picture of a thermometer
2. WHY ARE YOU ON YOUR PHONE WITH A 104 DEGREE FEVER
THAT’S NOT A COLD

to iwa-chan
how else will some1 record my last words

from iwa-chan
ok i guess i believe you
though i should’ve known when you didn’t use an obnoxious kaomoji

to iwa-chan
even on my deathbed
iwa-chan is so rude 2 me
is this how you’re going 2 leave me

from iwa-chan
fine, you brat
is there anyone around who can take care of you?
should you be going to the doctor??

to iwa-chan
roomie’s in class
can’t drive
:(((((((

from iwa-chan
can i call you

to iwa-chan
nooooooooooo

from iwa-chan
ok
it’s fine
i guess that would be kind of weird

to iwa-chan
no it wouldn’t
i love hearing iwa-chan’s voice
but mine is all scratchy

[iwa-chan calling]

“No…”

“Holy shit, your voice does sound terrible.”

“Not fair, Iwa-chan. I usually have a beautiful voice. Just as lovely as yours.”

“Yeah, I’m sure. More importantly, have you been drinking enough water?”

“… uh.”

“How are you going to get better?”

“I’m not. I’m going to die. Have you not been reading my texts?”

“Okay, here’s a thought: stop talking unnecessarily and straining your throat. Can you get a cup of water?”

“Mmm. Maybe.”

“…. Well?”

“… Urgh. I tried to get out of bed. Then I realized I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Good God. Can you at least tell me when your roommate is supposed to be done with class?”

“He has evening lectures until 5:30. He might skip, though. Maybe. Because I said I was sick. Then he’d be back at 4.”

“Then you’ve only got fifteen minutes to wait. Or else you’ll give me your roommate’s number and I’ll bully him into skipping class.”

“Pfft. Why is Iwa-chan so protective? So weird.”

“Don’t call me weird, asshole. I can hear you smiling on the other end. And you’re the one who said you liked my voice.”

“Mmm, I do! I do. It’s a nice voice. I could listen to it all day.”

“Tell the truth - how many of my videos have you watched?”

“All of them. Some of them more than once. But only some.”

“… Really?”

“Would I lie?”

“Apparently you lied a few days ago when I asked you about my videos, so yeah, you would.”

“Oops. Haha.”

“So which video is your favorite?”

“I like the ones with your friends. They seem nice. I also like the ones where you show off your outfits. You have nice arms.”

“…”

“Iwa-chan?”

“Sorry, sorry, I’m still here. I just… didn’t expect that response.”

“Does Iwa-chan not know he’s beautiful? I’ll have to sing One Direction the next time we talk.”

“What— don’t—! Who says there’ll even be a next time, idiot?”

“… Oh. Right. Sorry.”

“No, I didn’t- I didn’t mean it like that. I wouldn’t mind if there was a next time. Just…”

“Just?”

“Nothing.”

“Iwa-chan can tell me anything, you know?”

“Nameless-chan should consider resting his voice like I suggested five minutes ago.”

“Nameless-chan! What sort of name is that?!”

“Well, you haven’t told me your real name. I can’t make a cute nickname until I know it.”

“Oh. You want to know my name? It’s— wait.”

“Damnit.”

“Oh my God! You were going to take advantage of me to find out my name? In my poor, defenseless state? How could you, Iwa-chan? And here I thought I could trust you! Stop laughing!”

“Okay, okay, sorry. I just want to know more about you.”

“... Really?”

“Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

“Mmm. I don’t know. We met kind of weirdly? I’m kind of weird.”

“Yeah, I agree completely.”

“Mean, Iwa-chan!”

“I like it, though.”

“Um. What?”

“I like it. I like your weirdness. I like you. That’s why I want to know more about you.”

“… Iwa-chan, my roommate is back.”

“Oh. Okay. Right. Get better soon.”

“You should call me back some other day, okay?”

“Okay. I promise. Go rest up.”

to iwa-chan
did you call me yesterday?

from iwa-chan
??
do you not remember?

to iwa-chan
um
kind of?
i was sort of delirious
i don’t think i really remember most of the afternoon

from iwa-chan
so you don’t remember calling my voice pretty

to iwa-chan
oh dear god
i thought it was a dream

from iwa-chan
LMAO
this is what you get for lying to me for no reason

to iwa-chan
wait so
does this mean you actually did hear my voice???

from iwa-chan
...yes.
why?

to iwa-chan
UGH
my roommate said i was croaking something at you when he walked in
and i don’t remember it at all!
i promise my voice is much more beautiful than what you heard

from iwa-chan
why is that so important?

to iwa-chan
ugh you don’t get it
anyway, i’m sorry for bothering you
and worrying you
i get sick a lot. like really often.
i haven’t gotten sick yet this year, so when it hit, it hit hard

from iwa-chan
hey, it’s fine

to iwa-chan
you don’t have to say that
it’s not like you signed up for this
you texted a wrong number
you probably weren’t expecting
this
me

from iwa-chan
look, i’m not one for sugarcoating things
when i say it’s fine, it’s fine
if i minded, i’d block your number
but i don’t. i like talking to you.

to iwa-chan
oh.
aww thanks. (/ω＼)

from iwa-chan
ah, the return of the kaomojis
now i really know that you’re well

to iwa-chan
(¬▂¬)

from iwa-chan
and anyway, why wouldn’t i like talking to you?
you told me i have nice arms

to iwa-chan
please excuse me
i need to go beg every alien species out there to beam me up right the fuck now

from iwa-chan
you go do that, moron

from iwa-chan
so what are your hobbies?

to iwa-chan
is this a subtle way of telling me to stop talking to you and go do my hobbies

from iwa-chan
i’m just trying to get to know you
why are you so suspicious whenever i try to be nice

to iwa-chan
i’m not used to it, u ass
but uh my hobbies are...
idk
chilling

from iwa-chan
ok you’ve got to have at least one

to iwa-chan
i had volleyball

from iwa-chan
no fucking way

to iwa-chan
????

from iwa-chan
wing spiker

to iwa-chan
um
what
no?

from iwa-chan
no *i* was a wing spiker

to iwa-chan
OH
OHHHHH
i was a setter!!!

from iwa-chan
ok that’s weirdly coincidental though

to iwa-chan
we were clearly meant to be friends, iwa-chan
it’s a sign from the gods (▰˘◡˘▰)

from iwa-chan
lol, sure
but why did you stop playing?

to iwa-chan
u go first

from iwa-chan
you used past tense first

to iwa-chan
don’t care

from iwa-chan
fine
i decided to leave the team for personal reasons
but i don’t want to say why

to iwa-chan
ok but i have to ask: was it cause of your grades

from iwa-chan
seriously don’t want to say why
but no, you’re wrong, and i’m appalled at your lack of faith in me
i’m a model student

to iwa-chan
LOL
i’m definitely the teacher’s pet out of the two of us

from iwa-chan
yeah, you’re the teacher’s pet
i’m actually smart

to iwa-chan
honestly why do i put up with this harassment

from iwa-chan
also, you still haven’t mentioned why you stopped

to iwa-chan
oh. well.
i guess i got kicked off the team, technically

from iwa-chan
was it health related?

to iwa-chan
that’s not fair!!!
you already knew that i’m not healthy!!!!

from iwa-chan
i wouldn’t be talking about fair if i was you, idiot
i don’t even know your name

to iwa-chan
ugh that’s true i guess
well yeah it was health related
my knee is #dead

from iwa-chan
oh
i’m sorry

to iwa-chan
lol you’re not the one who did it
you don’t have to apologize
it’s just a fact

from iwa-chan
yeah but it must suck

to iwa-chan
very eloquent, iwa-chan
but yeah, it does suck
i had to get surgery
and i’m in therapy right now
like... both physical and mental
but! i’m going to get better after therapy!
and i can go back to being the most fearsome setter in the world
that’s all that really matters

from iwa-chan
good
that’s good
you know, that there’s an end in sight

to iwa-chan
what about you?
can you see yourself rejoining the team any time soon?

from iwa-chan
i don’t know
a lot has changed about me since i quit
i’m kind of nervous about going back

to iwa-chan
iwaizumi hajime, nervous?? no way
you post videos of your face on the internet
what could be more nerve-wracking than that?

from iwa-chan
lol
a lot, trust me
but thanks for the ego boost

to iwa-chan
it’s what i’m here for
and um
don’t make fun of me for this
but you already know i think you have nice arms
so i bet you’ve got a killer spike
i’d like to see it some day

from iwa-chan
huh
so you’d want to meet someday?

to iwa-chan
yeah
i mean
i guess that’s what i implied
and i wouldn’t be against it
but if you wouldn’t
i mean

from iwa-chan
hey

to iwa-chan
ugh i didn’t mean to be weird
i just
i guess it was in my head

from iwa-chan
calm down
i’d be down to meet you too

to iwa-chan
oh
okay
good, i guess

from iwa-chan
i mean, whether it happens or not
it’s nice to think about, right?

to iwa-chan
yeah
and i mean we both live in japan!
so that’s something

from iwa-chan
oh we do?

to iwa-chan
oh yeah
um
i just noticed from your videos and stuff
when you put your PO box for fanmail

from iwa-chan
ah yes, from all the times you’ve watched my many videos

to iwa-chan
shut uppppp
i didn’t realized until now that it’s harder for you
since you don’t really get info about me
for the record, i’m a college student at Chuo
not a creepy old grandpa

from iwa-chan
really? wow i never would have guessed
you have that creepy old grandpa aesthetic nailed down

to iwa-chan
rude!!

from iwa-chan
that being said, i’m a college student too
i go to tokai uni

to iwa-chan
oh thank god
for a second i got worried that you’d say you went to tsukuba
that would’ve been horrific

from iwa-chan
lol right, you guys have that feud

to iwa-chan
can you really call it a feud when one side is so clearly better than the other??

from iwa-chan
you’re way too intense about this
what do you study?

to iwa-chan
physics and math
you?

from iwa-chan
media studies
you’re SUCH a nerd

to iwa-chan
excuse you
i’ll have you know i look really cute in glasses

from iwa-chan
i bet you do

to iwa-chan
＼(〇_ｏ)／

from iwa-chan
what?

to iwa-chan
no it’s nothing
just
i have to go study!
since i’m such a nerd
i’ll talk to you later?

from iwa-chan
you’re so weird
yeah, i’ll talk to you later
study hard

to iwa-chan
will do! <3

There wasn’t much of a story to tell about it.

Tooru had been big. He’d been a star. He’d been scouted to a top university, ready to make it big as a volleyball player.

Then, one night, right before practice ended, he’d jumped and landed wrong. Horribly wrong.

He was taken to the hospital and told that he’d torn a muscle in his knee. An ACL tear, something that was growing more and more common for young athletes, but something that could at least be taken care of through surgery and rehabilitation.

All Tooru could think of was the irony of it all. That after all those years of overworking himself in high school, after making a real effort to be better in college, it was now, at this pivotal moment of his career, that he was facing an injury that would put him out of commission for the rest of the season.

It felt like the entire path his life was supposed to be on had been abruptly cut off. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if there was anything to do but to succumb to the darkness, the voices in his head telling him that without volleyball, he wasn’t a worthwhile person anymore.

The thing about being injured, though, was that there were people around. His parents had noticed the change in his mood and had arranged for him to meet with a therapist after the surgery to talk about his feelings. And as much as he’d whined about it, it had helped. In some ways.

Still, Tooru had wanted to be alone after the accident. He’d been sure that the best way to heal was to hide from everyone’s eyes, to keep them from witnessing his weakness first hand. In the meantime, he’d work hard to get better and come back to the team the same as before, so that they’d have no opportunity to change their perception of him as strong, happy, undefeatable.

It had been easy to avoid the others when he’d been resting up at home. But once he was healthy enough to get around on his own, his parents had given in to his pleas to go back to school. They found an apartment that was practically on campus, set him up there, and ordered him to reach out to others for help. With a bright smile on his face, Tooru had lied through his teeth and promised that he would. His real intentions were to make it on his own, to prove to everyone that he wasn’t a liability.

This lasted all of about a couple days.

On his fourth day of living alone in his apartment, he’d heard a knock at the door. Upon opening it, he’d found Hanamaki standing in front of him, a big grin on his face and a large suitcase in each hand. Tooru had just blinked at him – he hadn’t expected the boy to even know where he lived, let alone come to his room. He definitely didn’t expect the boy to set down his bags and loudly proclaim that he was moving in, either.

When Tooru had opened his mouth to protest, Hanamaki had softened, reaching out to take his hands and squeeze them. “The entire team is worried about you,” he had said, his tone serious for once. “Let me help you so that you can get back to normal as soon as possible.”

It had been overwhelming. To be honest, it’s still a little overwhelming at times, if Tooru thinks about it too much. He’s convinced no one was ever worried about him before if they weren’t family and therefore contractually obliged to dote on him. But according to Hanamaki, they’re all worried. They all want him to get better.

On its own, it’s a nice thought. Oikawa feels like he needs more of those.

“How have you been?”

Tooru picks at a piece of string sticking out from the corner of the couch, not wanting to answer the question. He says he likes talking about himself, but here, on this couch, in this room, it always stifles him a little bit.

He knows that his therapist means well. He knows that this is part of healing, of getting back to normal, of reclaiming his old life. But it’s hard to talk about himself when he still feels like such a fragile, unsure thing.

He takes a drink of water, then clears his throat, meticulously setting the plastic cup back down on the edge of the side table, next to a potted plant that seems to have grown in the week since he’s been here.

“You know me, Kiyoko-chan,” he says at last, raising his fingers to press a peace sign against his cheek. “I’m feeling great. As always.” It’s an obvious lie, but she doesn’t call him out on it. She’s too refreshing for that.

“Good.” She laces her fingers together, crossing one knee over the other as she shifts back in her chair. “Has there been anything on your mind?”

Tooru fidgets in his seat again, looking down at his knees. “Actually… um. I was thinking…” He hesitates, unsure of how to phrase his question, then blurts out, “How do you know if you’re making a real connection with someone? Like… what if they’re just acting around you, or hiding who they really are from you?”

Kiyoko blinks at him from behind her glasses. Tooru isn’t surprised - it’s the first time he’s asked a serious question during one of their sessions. “Has this person given you any reason to think that they’re being dishonest?”

“It’s not… no. I don’t think so. But- I hide a lot about myself because I get nervous that people won’t like some parts of me. So it’s occurred to me that other people might do that too.”

“Well, think about it like this: do you want people to know that you’re hiding things from them?” Tooru shakes his head slowly, and Kiyoko shrugs. “Then it’s hard to expect other people to be completely open with you.”

“… I guess,” Tooru mumbles, slightly cowed at her words.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t expect it at some point. I believe that people, in their hearts, want to tell the truth about themselves. I’m sure there are some people you’re honest with as well, Tooru. So as you grow closer to this person, I think they’ll open up to you. Just like you’ll open up to them.” Kiyoko smiles a little as he huffs. “Friendship is a two-way road. Though I’m sure I’ve told you that before.”

“Yes, yes, Kiyoko-chan. I always remember all the wise words you bestow upon me during these sessions.” Because for all that Tooru rolls his eyes, he can’t deny that Kiyoko knows what she’s talking about, and that she’s helped him out before.

“So, do you want to talk about this person?” she asks. Tooru must have some kind of surprised expression on his face, because she goes on to explain, “it seems like they’re on your mind, so it might help to talk about them. And that way, we don’t have to focus on you. You know I like it when you’re comfortable during these meetings.”

“Right. Okay. I can talk about him.” Tooru wets his lips. He runs his hands over the fabric of his jeans, trying to calm down his nerves before he speaks. “He’s a guy. We met… around a month ago, I think.” If that accidental text counts as a meeting - which, honestly, Tooru isn’t so sure of. But he isn’t about to go into all the nitty gritty details with his therapist. That would just be embarrassing. “He’s really nice. We’ve been talking, and it makes me feel good to talk to him. Like… usually I’m just okay, but when I’m talking to him, it’s like I’m feeling things again. Which is super weird to say, but I don’t know a better way to put it.”

“That’s fine. It’s hard to put emotions into words, and it’s enough that you’re trying in the first place,” Kiyoko assures him. “I’m very glad to hear that this boy makes you happy.”

“Yeah.” The words settle in Tooru’s chest - Iwaizumi makes him happy - and he can’t deny that it’s the truth. Which is probably why he goes on to say, “I think I might even like him.”

There’s a moment of silence before Tooru realizes what he’s said out loud, and he sits up ramrod straight, eyes wide. “Um- That is- I don’t think I’ve ever told you this before, but I’m not straight. I’m bisexual. Which is a thing - it means that gender doesn’t matter to me when I’m crushing on someone. Which- I think I might have a crush on this boy. But, uh, the point is, I hope you believe in bisexuality, because you’re a really great therapist, and it would suck if I had to hate you forever because-”

“Oikawa.” Tooru jumps, looking back up at Kiyoko, not having realized he’s looked away during his rambling in the first place. His therapist is just smiling a little, and it takes a moment for him to realize that she’s holding out her wallet to him. Confused, he takes it from her, looking at the picture tucked into the fold.

He puts the pieces together a second before she says it out loud. “My wife is bisexual. So I know what bisexuality is. But I’m very honored that you trust me enough to share that about yourself with me. I appreciate it a lot.”

Tooru is only vaguely registering her words, too taken up by the picture he’s looking at. Kiyoko is laughing down at a shorter woman, blonde and blushing, neither of them aware that the picture is being taken. More than anything, they both look happy, and something twinges a little in Tooru’s heart.

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Kiyoko-san. I really mean it. Thank you so much.” And for once in his life, Tooru is being completely earnest as he speaks.

The picture sticks in his mind after the appointment, throughout dinner, even when he’s lying down that night and trying to sleep. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the two women, happy together, and bit by bit, he realizes why he’s so enamored with the photograph.

That’s what I want, he thinks, clutching a pillow to his chest and trying to pretend that he’s not blushing in the dark of his room. That’s what I want my future to look like.

And even though he’s trying not to, he can’t help but imagine a picture like that in his wallet ten years from now, with Iwaizumi laughing down at him instead.

“So you’re actually in love with the guy.”

“Ugh, god, don’t call it love. I’ve never met him.”

Hanamaki coughs a little, clearly hiding a laugh. “Sorry, of course. So you’ve actually got a crush on the guy.”

“… I guess?” Tooru sighs, pressing his hands over his face. He doesn’t need to look at Hanamaki to see the grin that’s spreading over his friend’s face. “This is the worst.”

“It’s not the worst! It’s the best!” Hanamaki tugs at Tooru’s hands, interlocking their fingers together as Tooru rolls his eyes. “Look at me, Oikawa Tooru. You like him, and even if he doesn’t like you right now, he’s friendly with you. And he’s even offered to meet you. Which means that you have a chance!”

“I don’t want to have a chance with him. I want to get over him as fast as I physically can and then completely forget about him for the rest of my life.”

“Man, I don’t get it. What’s so bad about having a crush on the guy? Why don’t you just admit it to him and see where things go?”

Tooru lets out a long breath, but it’s hard to avoid a question when they’re the only two people in the small hallway, when there’s nothing to fill the air between them besides the anticipation of the answer.

“It’s… I don’t want to get my hopes up. I’m not the type to just casually see how things go. Either I don’t care or I’m invested in the relationship one hundred percent. And it’s looking like I’m leaning towards the latter, and I don’t want that. I don’t want to get my hopes up if nothing’s going to come out of it.”

“Okay, Oikawa, I get that much. But you can’t know that nothing’s going to come out of this. Right?” Hanamaki squeezes his hands gently, and Tooru can’t help the way his shoulders slump.

“Well, the last time I thought things were going to turn out well…” He leaves the statement unfinished, but they both look down at the ugly brace around his knee at almost the same time.

“Listen, Oikawa, this is different. Falling for a guy is different from falling and getting an injury, okay? And it’s not like your knee is broken forever!”

“Yeah, I know my knee isn’t going to be like this forever,” Tooru snaps finally, “but that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to be a long time still.” Hanamaki jerks back a little, and Tooru belatedly registers how sharp his tone has become. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just — my knee isn’t okay yet. And it’s not going to be okay for a while. And I’m tired of being not okay. I’d rather let this guy go and forget about him than try for something with him and have everything go wrong. Then I’d just be not okay again.”

“Alright. I understand.” The two fall silent for a little bit before Hanamaki continues, “You know you’re hot, though. Like, you’re still fully aware of that fact.”

Tooru splutters a little and flushes. “Of course I know that. I don’t need you to tell me that.”

“I’ll tell you anyway. You’re hot. And you can trust me when I say that, because I’m hot, and hot people recognize each other’s beauty. In fact, I’m exceedingly hot, for the record. One might even say… I’m too hot.” Hanamaki waggles his eyebrows. Tooru just stares back at him, refusing to finish the phrase despite his friend’s puppy dog eyes.

“Hot damn.” They both jump in surprise, turning to the door to see the intern there, raising one bushy eyebrow in amusement.

“Ah, Mattsun, finally.” Tooru sighs, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. “I feel like I’ve been languishing here forever! Tell me my forms are filled out so we can leave, will you?”

“All done,” he replies, though he isn’t looking at Tooru as he puts the reports away. Tooru frowns, then glances over to his side to see Hanamaki leaning over the counter, resting his chin on his palm, grinning at the intern. “I’ve got your appointment scheduled for the regular time in a week, and if anything comes up, you know you can call us.” Matsukawa tries and fails to keep the smile from his face. He’s still making eye contact with Hanamaki rather than Tooru. It’s kind of cute. “Anything else you need?”

“No, we’re good.” Tooru nods, then pushes off the wall, heading towards the door. It takes him a couple seconds to realize that Hanamaki isn’t walking out with him. Looking back, he sees his roommate still chatting with the intern, and Tooru rolls his eyes. “Hanamaki, you coming?”

“Do you have his number?” Hanamaki asks once he catches up to Tooru after they’ve left the building. Tooru frowns.

“I don’t think so. Why would I have his number? Why would you want his--?” And then it strikes him, and his expression goes straight from confused to stern. “Makki, you’re not fucking my physiotherapist’s intern.”

“Hate to break it to you, but I definitely am. Have you seen him? How have you not jumped him yet?”

“Because I’m not into him? You have the weirdest taste, I swear. Have you seen his eyebrows?”

“Hey, don’t say anything about the eyebrows. I think they look distinguished.” Hanamaki can’t even keep himself from laughing as he says it, and Tooru chuckles along with him as they head to the car.

“At least I’ve got someone I can tease you about now.”

“Oh, please. I’m not going to be hopeless about this guy like you are with Iwaizumi. Just you wait and see.”

from iwa-chan
hey, question.

to iwa-chan
omg is this a serious conversation??
i’m all ears

from iwa-chan
why are you excited about this
it’s the dumbest thing to be excited about

to iwa-chan
don’t be rude!!
i just like feeling like one of your real friends, that’s all

from iwa-chan
you are a friend, idiot
to some degree
even if i don’t know your name

to iwa-chan
(⇀ 3 ↼)
oh iwa-chan
you always know what to say

from iwa-chan
anyway
back to my question
i was wondering
um
...

to iwa-chan
are you alright?

from iwa-chan
sorry, this is just weird
okay, i’m just going to say it
i’m going to be at a convention this weekend
it’s a really small one for vloggers
this is actually the second year it’s happening
it’s not that far from your university
if you wanted to meet me, we could meet there

to iwa-chan
oh my god

from iwa-chan
?
don’t leave me hanging, you asshole

to iwa-chan
sorry!!!!
sorry it’s just!! really cool of you to ask
but i can’t
i really can’t
i shouldn’t
it’s going to be a busy weekend
i have other things to do

from iwa-chan
ok i get it
you don’t have to say it 500 times

to iwa-chan
ugh sorry
i really do want to be there though
trust me
but i can’t

from iwa-chan
it’s fine
just wanted to make the offer
that wasn’t weird for us, was it?

to iwa-chan
no, not at all!!
i’m
well, i’m touched

from hajime
hah.
you’re welcome

to hajime
though really, i shouldn’t be
because that implies that i’m surprised you’d make this offer
and why wouldn’t you?
iwa-chan craves my presence, doesn’t he? ☆ ～('▽^人)

from hajime
okay wait for a minute

to hajime
…?

from hajime
(｡☉︵ ಠ╬)

to hajime
!!!!!!!
i screamed out loud
i had to explain to my roommate why i was yelling
oh my god that was the cutest thing i’ve ever seen

from hajime
relish in it
you’ll never see it again

to hajime
nooooo!!!!
it’s so cute when you use kaomojis!!!!
it’s like a grandpa using them for the first time!!!!
don’t stop, grandpa iwa-chan!!!!!

from hajime
yeah, definitely never doing that again in this lifetime

to hajime
o(╥﹏╥)o
oh well at least i took a screenshot
it will live on forever in posterity

from hajime
well, for the record
and against my better judgment
i’m disappointed that you’ll miss the convention
even despite your horrible personality

to hajime
trust me, i’m disappointed too
we’ll meet eventually though

from hajime
i’m looking forward to it

Takahiro can sense something tense about Oikawa’s expression from a mile away. Chewing on the granola bar in his hand, he stands in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching as his roommate stares down at his phone and bites his lip.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks after a few moments, and Oikawa jerks up. Now Takahiro knows something is wrong, because Oikawa’s not the type of person one can sneak up on.

“Oh. Yes. Fine. Why do you ask?” It’s a pretty bad attempt at lying, all things considered. Even Oikawa grimaces as the words come out, and they both chuckle as Takahiro comes over and sits down on the couch next to him. After some prodding and nudging, they rearrange into a comfortable position, with Oikawa’s legs draped over Takahiro’s lap and Takahiro’s arm around Oikawa’s waist. “Alright. Do you want to know the truth?”

“Yes, Oikawa, that’s why I asked.” Oikawa rolls his eyes, batting at Takahiro’s arm before looking back down at his phone, biting his lip.

“You know that convention we were planning on going to this weekend? The small one for vloggers that’s not that far away?” Oikawa asks, and Takahiro frowns. This isn’t where he was expecting the conversation to go.

“Um, yeah? What about it?”

Oikawa fidgets a little, then says in a rush, “Iwaizumi invited me to the convention and I said that I couldn’t come because I freaked out a little about meeting him.”

“Oikawa, no,” he moans, pulling the other boy closer and wrapping his arms around him. “Why do you do this to yourself? Why didn’t you just tell him you’re going and then agreed to meet him?”

“I know, I should have,” Oikawa’s voice comes out whiny and he buries his face in Takahiro’s shoulder. “It would’ve been such a low-stress place to meet him, too. And if I messed up, I could just leave the convention and come back home and never see him again.”

“So? Just text him back and say that whatever fake thing you had going on this weekend got cancelled. Then agree to meet him, then meet him, then start dating him, then get married.” Takahiro just beams as the other boy blushes.

“I’m… I want to. But I don’t know if I should.” Oikawa pouts a little, looking back down at his phone. “He likes me, sure, but texting a person is different from talking to them. You get a lot more time to think and phrase things through text. I don’t know if he’ll like me in person.”

The smile slides off Takahiro’s face to be replaced with a concerned look. “Oikawa…”

“And it’s a convention for vloggers. Which means he’ll want to watch my vlog. Which means he’ll see all the covers I’ve posted that are clearly about him and he might get scared off because I’m in so deep, and he doesn’t feel the same way about me.” Oikawa shrugs, obviously glum. “I just don’t think it’ll work out like that.”

“Okay, timeout. There’s a lot to be worried about, sure — but there always will be. That’s never going to change. It’s never going to be easy. So why don’t you just agree to meet him and see where it goes?”

“It’s just not that easy for me,” Oikawa responds in a quiet voice, and Takahiro sighs, running his fingers through the other boy’s hair.

“Fine. So do you not want to go this weekend? I can think of something else for us to do. We haven’t gone out for karaoke in a while!”

Oikawa shifts a little, and something in the movement makes Takahiro’s eyes narrow. Oikawa’s looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes, and Takahiro just knows that he’s going to say something stupid. “Actually, I was thinking. And… I think I want to go to the convention but not tell Iwaizumi it’s me.”

Takahiro blinks twice, then barely holds back a groan. “Why, Oikawa? Why are you making this complicated?”

“No, hear me out. It’s the best option! We can get to know each other, and if he still likes me in person, that means that he really does like who I am, not just over text! And then it’ll be way easier to tell him I’m into him. Don’t you think?”

Takahiro shakes his head through the whole explanation. “Look. I think it’s a dumb idea, but if it’s what you want to do, we’ll do it.”

Seeing Oikawa smile like this - wide and toothy and real - wasn’t a common thing before the accident. It’s a rarity now. And in this exact moment, Takahiro hopes fervently that this Iwaizumi kid likes him back, because Oikawa deserves to smile like this more often.

“You know, if you need any suggestions on how to be suave and flirty, you can ask me. I’ve got a lot of experience with that.” Takahiro winks exaggeratedly, gesturing at himself with one wave of his hand.

“You know, you always talk so big, but when it comes down to it, I bet you’re not a romance expert either. I had girlfriends way before you did in school,” Oikawa protests, kicking at Takahiro with his good leg. “Have you even texted Mattsun yet?”

“Psh. I could get that boy whenever I wanted. And I’m incredibly magnetic and charming, in case you forgot. I’m pretty sure I could do anything, and that boy would still fall for me.”

“That’s more because he has your terrible sense of humor, not because you’re magnetic. And you still couldn’t do anything.”

Takahiro raises his eyebrows, pulling out his phone from his back pocket. “Try me.”

“Okay…” Oikawa draws out the word while thinking. “In the very first text conversation you have with this guy, you’re not going to send him a nude.”

“Oh, please. That’s not even hard.” Takahiro taps at his phone for a couple seconds, then shows it to Oikawa and grins. “There, done.”

Takahiro knows he’s possibly ruined his potential relationship with this guy. It’s worth the horror-struck look on Oikawa’s face as he sees the image he’s sent Matsukawa - a particularly artistic shot in the mirror, marred by the image of a frog on a unicycle badly edited right over his crotch.

“So yeah, I’m a romance expert. Because I just did that.”

to leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
[img]

from leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
… o shit waddup

to leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
omg you said it

from leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
what else am i supposed to say to a random person sending me nudes censored by memes

to leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
“random person” we literally met today, you wound me
hanamaki takahiro??? very attractive friend of mildly attractive volleyball hopeful??

from leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
holy shit

to leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
what?
… wait, what?

from leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
ok i just.
i didn’t realize you were that attractive

to leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
… wtf that’s really gay

from leg so hot ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
i know

Tooru is a veritable bundle of nerves, shifting from one foot to the other and glancing around the room. The convention is being held at a small hotel, and the room is crowded. In his state of nervousness, it’s practically stifling. He’s lucky that he doesn’t have that many fans, though. He’s taken a few selfies with people, signed one person’s autograph book, but for the most part, he’s been left alone.

Which means he has time to practice how he’s going to introduce himself to Iwaizumi over and over again.

“Look, Oikawa, you’re going to be fine,” Hanamaki says, squeezing his shoulder. “I’m going to go get a drink. Do you want one too?”

Tooru simply nods, playing with his own fingers as he glances around the room. Hanamaki heads out to find a vending machine, and Tooru takes it from the top again.

And that’s when it happens.

Someone’s coming into the room, and Tooru looks over, expecting to see Hanamaki returning. Instead, he locks eyes with Iwaizumi, and he feels like he’s been punched in the gut.

The first thing he notices is-

“Oh my God, you’re shorter than me.”

He blurts out the words before begging internally for the ground to swallow him up whole. The earth doesn’t comply, however, and he’s left to stare Iwaizumi in the face, to be pinned by his unimpressed scowl.

“Who the hell are you?” he demands, and Tooru’s world comes crashing down around him as he’s forced to remember an unpleasant thought that he’d kept locked away in a corner of his mind.

Iwaizumi is friends with a faceless person he texts. Not Tooru himself. He has no idea that he’s been talking to Tooru for all this time.

He’s caught between revealing everything and keeping his mouth shut. On one hand, it would make sense. If he tells the truth now, they can all have a good laugh about it, and then he and Iwaizumi become friends in real life, and then maybe (just maybe), Tooru might have a chance with him. On the other hand, there are so many things he’s told Iwaizumi. So many things he’s hidden. So many reasons for the other boy to dislike him instead of falling for him. Their relationship is so nice now — bringing it into real life seems like asking for everything to fall apart.

So Tooru just flips his hair and grins, a manufactured smile that he’s been tossing around ever since he was in high school. “Oikawa Tooru, at your service. It’s a pleasure to meet you. You’re Iwaizumi… something or another, right? I think I’ve seen a video of yours before. I just remember you looking so tough and manly, and I’ve always thought you’d be taller than me.”

To his despair, Iwaizumi doesn’t respond favorably to that, his frown just getting deeper as Tooru goes on. “Yeah. Sure.” He hesitates, then holds out a hand to shake, and Tooru’s heart leaps up again. “So, do you make videos too?”

“Yep! I’ve got my own channel on YouTube as well.” Too late, Tooru realizes what exactly he’s been posting on that channel for the last couple months, and quickly tries to backtrack. “But, uh, I don’t think a guy like you would be into that sort of stuff.”

“A guy like me?” Iwaizumi repeats, raising an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s not supposed to mean anything!” Tooru waves his hands in the air in a desperate attempt to save the conversation. “Just- I don’t think you’d be into wishy-washy stuff like acoustic covers or anything. You don’t seem like the type.”

“The type.” Iwaizumi stares at him, then shakes his head. “You’re an ass, okay? I hope you know that.” And with those parting words, he turns on his heel and walks away, leaving Tooru to stare after him, shocked and forlorn.

to hajime
hello iwa-chan
how was your day? :)

from hajime
it was okay
i’m at that convention i told you about
it’s been really great, but i met this asshole today
he just… ugh.
grated on my nerves and now it feels like the whole day was a bust

to hajime
oh.
what upset you so much about him?

from hajime
no immediate leap to defend my honor, huh?
i’m almost hurt
jk
he just made a bunch of comments about being a man
and what guys are supposed to like
that sort of stuff just irritates me
gender is stupid

to hajime
oh.
ohhhhh.
yeah, that guy was an idiot.
but maybe he didn’t realize that what he was saying was bad?

from hajime
still, it’s not my job to educate him
whatever
i don’t want to talk about him
how was your day? how’s your knee?

to hajime
my day was fine
...
actually, it wasn’t the greatest
and i definitely don’t want to talk about my knee
i thought you knew me, iwa-chan

from hajime
right. sorry.
why was your day bad?

to hajime
i generally don’t need reasons to have a bad day
they just happen

from hajime
jesus, sorry for asking
i’m just trying to be friendly

to hajime
you know what?
i get that someone upset you today
but you’re pissing me off now
so maybe you should just take some time
stop being a grumpy asshole
and then we can talk
have a good night

from hajime
wait no
fuck
sorry
i didn’t mean to be a jerk
like genuinely

to hajime
hey, i know
it’s just that i don’t like it when people imply that i’m depressed for a reason
i’m mentally ill. like, that’s the reason.
and i know we don’t have to educate people about our shit
but you just hurt me
and you wouldn’t have understood why if i hadn’t explained
so
idk where i’m going with this
there’s a difference between people expecting to be educated
and people expecting to be told if they’re hurting someone
is it too obvious that i’m talking about the asshole you met?

from hajime
yeah, i got that much
and i get what you’re saying.
this is annoyingly well-written, actually

to hajime
oh, iwa-chan
you flatter me (*´▽`*)
so what are you going to do now?

from hajime
apologize to you again
go to bed
head to the convention
deal with the asshole if he shows up

to hajime
perfect (─‿‿─)

from hajime
sorry for being insensitive
i hope tomorrow doesn’t suck for you
and i hope your depression fucks off

to hajime
thank you dearly, iwa-chan
you have a good night now
(´ε｀ )♡

from hajime
haha
will do.

Tooru wakes up rejuvenated the next morning. Maybe it’s because of the conversation he had with Iwaizumi the night before, or maybe it’s because he’s certain that things between him and Iwaizumi can’t get worse. Either way, he’s sure that the plan he’s made for today will work.

He waits near the entrance of the hotel, nodding at and greeting the people who are entering for the convention. Sure enough, it doesn’t take too long for Iwaizumi to show up, and Tooru hurries up to the boy as soon as he catches sight of him.

“Hey. It’s me - Oikawa, from yesterday,” he says, flashing Iwaizumi a nervous smile. The other boy doesn’t look too pleased to see him, but Tooru pushes forward anyway. “I just wanted to say that I think- no, I know that I upset you yesterday, and I’m not sure exactly why, but I wanted to apologize. And I also got you this. As part of the apology.” He raises a cup of coffee, then holds it out to Iwaizumi.

For a few seconds, Iwaizumi doesn’t respond, and Tooru holds his breath. Then he pulls one hand out of his pocket and accepts the drink from Tooru, taking a sip.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” They both fall quiet, and Tooru almost blurts something out just to fill the silence when Iwaizumi abruptly speaks again. “I actually wanted to say something to you as well. Basically that, um… well, you did piss me off yesterday, but I didn’t explain why. Not that I have to explain myself to you, but now that you apologized, I guess you should know why you pissed me off so much.” Iwaizumi nods towards the hotel. “You want to head inside, maybe? We can sit down somewhere and talk. It’s kind of chilly outside.”

“Right. Yes! We can do that.” Tooru assumes that he’s smiling a little too widely for a serious talk with a person he barely knows, but he can’t help himself. His plan worked, after all.

It doesn’t take long for them to find a place to sit down. Despite the activity of the convention, there’s a small lounge area tucked away at the end of one hallway that is almost empty. Tooru takes a seat first in one of the armchairs, tugging a little at his sweatpants so that his knee brace doesn’t show beneath them, and Iwaizumi takes a seat on the sofa next to him.

“So. Yesterday when we spoke, you made a lot of assumptions about me based on the fact that I’m a guy. I’m really not into gendered talk like that. So when you said that stuff to me within thirty seconds of meeting me, it rubbed me the wrong way.”

“Oh,” Tooru says with a practiced tone of realization, as if he didn’t spend a significant amount of time last night thinking about what Iwaizumi had texted him about gender. “Oh, that makes sense. I didn’t mean to say stuff like that, honestly. I just don’t really think about gender a lot, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a guy who wears makeup for a living now.” Iwaizumi shrugs, but he’s smiling as he takes a drink of his coffee. “I kind of have to think about gender.”

Tooru laughs a little, wrapping his arms around himself. “That makes sense. It’s definitely not the same for me. I think society has gotten over boys singing for some time now.” He tips his head to one side, then flashes another cheery smile in Iwaizumi’s direction. “So, have you ever been to this con before?”

“I’ve been to cons before, but not this one,” he responds. “It’s kind of out of my way. I go to school further east, closer to Setagaya. And it’s a smaller con than the ones I usually go to.”

“Oh, of course, because Iwaizumi-san is so popular, right?” Iwaizumi snorts at that, but he’s smiling a little, so Tooru counts it as a victory. “So what brings you out here, then?”

“A friend of mine lives near here. I was hoping to meet him at the convention, but he ended up not being able to make it,” Iwaizumi explains in a casual tone, and Tooru’s heart is suddenly beating double time.

They’re friends. Iwaizumi considers him a friend. Not the boy sitting here in front of him, of course, but the boy he’s been texting. It’s a wonder that Tooru manages to stay grounded, that he doesn’t just float away out of sheer happiness.

“Well, it’s unfortunate that he couldn’t make it,” Tooru says, smiling widely at the other boy. “I guess I’ll just have to keep you company this weekend instead.”

“You look like a villain with that smile.” Tooru can tell that he’s joking, already understands the nuances of his tone with no effort. It’s never been this easy before. “But if you’re going to insist on hanging out with me, I guess I can deal with it.”

“Don’t sound so reluctant, Iwa- Iwaizumi. You’ll have a great time with me at your side.”

“Oh my God.”

They both look up from their conversation to see a couple young boys staring at them, one with a bowl cut and the other with ridiculous hair that sticks straight up from his head. The weird haired one is the one who spoke, staring at them with wide eyes, while the other just watches with muted amusement.

“You’re Iwaizumi Hajime, right? I’m- I’m such a fan of you, can I get a picture with you? Do you mind?” The boy’s eyes slide towards Tooru, and he jumps, eyes getting impossibly wider. “Oh my god, you’re Oikawa Tooru. You’re both here. I’m such big fans of both of you. I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Tooru’s too surprised to even answer in the first place; it’s not like he’s ever met many of his fans before in real life. Luckily, Iwaizumi picks up the slack. “Don’t be silly,” he says warmly, and Tooru wonders what it’d be like to have that gentle sort of voice directed towards him. “Here, you can take a picture with me first.”

“Wait.” Tooru gets to his feet and claps his hands. “Why don’t we all take a selfie together?”

The boy looks like he’s about to faint, and Tooru almost rationalizes that he’s doing this to be kind to his fans. But when Iwaizumi starts talking to the boy about his products and one of his videos after having taken the photo, Tooru looks at the picture. His heart fills up at the sight of him and Iwaizumi pressed next to each other to fit into the frame.

As per Tooru’s promise, they spend the rest of the day together, visiting different booths, meeting new people, and poking fun at each other the entire time. It’s easy to see that Iwaizumi is just as magnetic and friendly in person as he is over text - maybe even more so. It’s honestly difficult for Tooru to pull himself away.

Which is why when Iwaizumi asks him for a favor, Tooru doesn’t hesitate before agreeing. After all, any sort of favor will mean that they’re growing closer, will mean that the chances of Iwaizumi liking him back will grow higher. At least, that’s what he’s convinced of at the time.

“Hey everyone, it’s Iwaizumi.”

All he can think of right now is that he’s a full-blown idiot. Because he’s sitting in a chair next to Iwaizumi, about to appear on a video with Iwaizumi, practically in love with Iwaizumi, and only an idiot would have agreed to this in the first place.

“So, a lot of you have been requesting that I do the ‘Boyfriend Does My Makeup’ challenge, which is rude because you all know I’m painfully single,” Iwaizumi says with casual ease, grinning at his camera before glancing down to check his makeup bag for the fiftieth time. “Luckily for you all, I’ve made a friend lately who I think will be atrocious at this, and that’s what you really want to see, right? So here’s Oikawa. Say hi.” Because the last line is directed towards Tooru, he sighs as Iwaizumi turns the camera to capture both of them in the view.

“Honestly, you and your fans have the weirdest relationship,” Tooru says. Then he smiles at the camera himself, throwing up a casual peace sign and pressing it to his cheek. “Yoohoo, viewers! It’s Oikawa Tooru here, and today I’ll be doing the makeup of your dearest Iwaizumi. Hopefully I’ll do a really good job so he’ll be forced to bite the bullet and say nice things about me, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

Iwaizumi snorts, then pushes his makeup bag towards Tooru, nodding. “Alright. I’ve already washed my face and cleansed it, so Oikawa’s just going to go straight into the makeup. Go for it. Work your supposed magic.”

Tooru can’t help gulping a little as he looks down into the bag. It’s just that… there are a lot of tubes in here. And as much as he’s watched Iwaizumi’s videos, he’s been more focused on the man himself. Not on what he’s doing.

But he can do this. After taking a deep breath, he dumps the contents of the bag out onto the table in front of them and paws through the various items while Iwaizumi hisses, “Be careful, asshole.”

“I need to see everything to find what I’m looking for!” Tooru retorts with confidence, picking one of the tubes out and inspecting it, then looking at another. Finally, he says, “right! We’ll start with foundation, because of course, that’s what you start with. And we use the oval brush thing, right?”

“Wow. That’s officially already more than I was expecting,” Iwaizumi responds, almost smiling, but Tooru is quick to shush him, pressing a finger to his lips.

“You can’t give me hints! That betrays the whole point of the challenge. Really, Iwaizumi, think of the viewers.” Iwaizumi just quirks an eyebrow, and Tooru beams at him, pulling his finger back to squeeze out some of the foundation onto the brush.

And then he realizes how close he has to get to Iwaizumi to get the makeup onto his face.

Tooru somehow doesn’t melt down. He isn’t even sure how he manages, but he keeps it together as he leans in, carefully moving the brush in a circular motion over Iwaizumi’s cheek. The other boy closes his eyes, and Tooru has never been more thankful, because he’s not sure what he’d do if they had to make eye contact when he was this close to him.

“And you just move it in a circular way all over the cheeks and nose and forehead and stuff…” Tooru narrates as he goes, moving on to sweep some concealer under Iwaizumi’s eyes and cooing over how sparkly the color he’s chosen looks on the other boy’s face. But once he’s done with the setting powder, he sits back, biting his lip as he looks at the assortment of eye products in front of him waiting to be used. “Alright, you need to get rid of some of your eyeshadow palettes.” He opens several of them, looking at the colors with pursed lips before setting them back down. “You have way too many. How am I supposed to choose?”

“Well, you’re the makeup artist. What sort of look do you want for me?” Iwaizumi asks, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.

“A hot look,” Tooru responds without thinking, and he’s glad that Iwaizumi’s eyes are closed, because he can feel his ears turn red. Then he remembers he’s on camera, and he barely suppresses his groan. “You know what I mean. I want you to look good so that you have to compliment me when this is over. I don’t know what you should look like besides that.”

“Okay, then… go for something that you think you’d like.” After a pause, Iwaizumi adds on, “and now you’re probably going to go for bright purple eyes. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Shush. I’m going to put on your eye primer and then decide where to go from there.” Tooru waves a hand before squeezing some of the primer onto one of his fingers. He takes a moment to fortify himself, then leans in close again, gingerly pressing the primer onto Iwaizumi’s eyelid.

After the first couple strokes, Iwaizumi’s lips curl up like he’s trying not to laugh, and Tooru giggles a little nervously. “You okay there?” Iwaizumi asks, and Tooru snorts, pressing just a little harder to spread the makeup evenly.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m so fine. Just in awe of my own natural skills. I’m very special, you know,” he says absentmindedly as he reaches for a palette he’s seen earlier, dabbing one of the smaller brushes in some gold eyeshadow.

“If I look like a clown at the end of this video despite all your big talk, you know I’ll never let you live it down. Right?”

“Right. Luckily I’m amazing, so you don’t have to worry about looking like a clown. Hopefully.” Tooru purses his lips, spreading the gold color all over Iwaizumi’s eyelids, then leaning back to look at him. Then, with a shrug, he adds a darker color to the end of his brush — brown with glittery hints of copper and gold — and goes to town.

His confidence is eventually shattered when he picks up the eyeliner pen. Despite watching all of Iwaizumi’s videos on how to get the perfect wing, it seems like theory is far from actual practice in this case. “Oh my God,” he says, despair creeping into his voice, “my hand is shaking so much. How do you get this line so straight?”

“And here I thought you had natural talent,” Iwaizumi teases, but his words sound fonder and more gentle than Tooru has come to expect. “To be honest, it takes a lot of practice. I still have trouble some days. You just pick up tricks to make them look vaguely even and then you believe in yourself.”

“Ugh, this is where the look is going to fall apart. Why did I even agree to this again?”

Iwaizumi sighs, opening his eyes, and before Tooru gets a chance to protest, he reaches out and takes Tooru’s left hand, effectively silencing him. He pulls Tooru’s hand to his chin and says, “Just hold my face where you need it to be and rest your other wrist on my cheek. It’s okay. You put on a veritable shit-ton of foundation earlier. A little bit of touching shouldn’t smudge anything.”

Tooru swallows, his blood rushing under his skin where Iwaizumi is still holding his wrist. With a shaky exhale, he turns Iwaizumi’s head to the side a little and follows his instructions. It’s no surprise that his mutinous hand stops trembling as soon as it’s resting right on Iwaizumi’s face. Honestly, he thinks to himself, gritting his teeth, it’s like his own body is against him.

“Okay, all that’s left is the lips,” Tooru announces when he’s done with the eyeliner and the mascara, sighing in relief when he sits back in his chair. His heart is still thumping loud and clear in his chest, and to distract himself from his own gross lovesickness, he grabs a couple tubes of lipstick and lip gloss, inspecting them carefully. “Ready for this to be over?”

“Not really? I kind of like getting to sit here and not do anything.”

“Lazy! You’re so lazy, Iwaizumi.” Tooru decides on a mauve for the lipstick, just a little darker than Iwaizumi’s lips, and a shimmery gloss that reminds him of the eyeshadow he used earlier. “There. I’m done. Unless — should I use the setting spray?”

“Well, I usually would, but let me see if I actually want to keep this look first.” Iwaizumi teases, reaching for the small mirror that they kept behind the camera before starting the video. “No need to waste setting spray on a look I’m going to immediately wipe off.”

Tooru will deny it later, but he holds his breath a little when Iwaizumi looks into the mirror. He sees the critical look in Iwaizumi’s eyes as he scans his reflected face, and he waits with bated breath for his response.

“Huh. This isn’t that bad.”

Tooru’s heart leaps up into his chest, which is probably the most disgusting thing he’s felt ever since he developed this stupid crush on Iwaizumi.

“I mean, you put on way too much foundation. And I don’t know why you went with brown and mauve for the colors, ‘cause they don’t… they theoretically shouldn’t work together, but they don’t actually look terrible. Of course, the eyes are way more dramatic than I like in general. And you should’ve lined my lips, probably. Not to mention that you forgot to contour my face.”

“Iwaizumi!” Tooru protests, shifting closer to grab the mirror from him. “Didn’t you ever learn how to give constructive criticism? You’re supposed to balance all that bad stuff with praise.”

“I wasn’t trying to be constructive. You’re probably never going to touch makeup again in your lifetime,” Iwaizumi’s lips quirk up into a smile. “But if you really want flattery, look at my eyes.”

Tooru frowns instinctively, looking up from his lap to make actual eye contact with Iwaizumi. The makeup on his eyelids is pretty aggressive, Tooru admits, but he’s a bit distracted from all of that. Because they’re staring into each other’s eyes, and they’re sitting so close together that their thighs are almost touching, and Tooru thinks that maybe, just maybe, Iwaizumi might be leaning forward.

“My eyeliner — sorry, your eyeliner looks pretty great. And that’s saying something.” Iwaizumi smiles, leaning back into his chair.

Tooru blinks a couple times before leaning back rapidly himself, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. “Oh. Right. Well! I told you that I was special.”

“That you did,” Iwaizumi responds before turning his attention back to the camera. For once, Tooru thinks he might not be joking. “Well, that’s it for this video. Be sure to give it a thumbs-up if you liked it, leave a comment with requests for what sort of look you want to see next, and of course, subscribe. Till next time, this has been Iwaizumi.”

And as Iwaizumi turns off the camera, Tooru can’t help but wonder when he let this little feeling in his heart get so out of hand.

When Tooru sees Iwaizumi the next day, there’s something troubled about the other boy’s expression. Throughout the morning, Tooru can sense something is wrong as they hang out together, much like they did the day before, but he’s not sure how to broach the topic.

A couple hours into the con, Iwaizumi pulls him aside, leading him to a small lounge in the hotel that isn’t being used at the moment.

“Is everything okay, Iwaizumi?” Tooru asks, and it’s almost like the nerves are contagious, because now Tooru’s own heart is beating a little faster too.

“Yeah. I just- can we sit down on the couch?” Tooru nods, and they both take a seat next to each other, though Tooru is careful to leave a gap between them. There’s no sense in tempting his own irresponsible heart by sitting too close-by.

“Oikawa, there’s something I want to tell you.” Iwaizumi wets his bottom lip, and it distracts Tooru for a few seconds before he forces himself to keep listening to the other boy. “I know it might be weird to hear this, but… it just feels like we’ve known each other for ages, rather than just for a day or so. And I want to be honest with you about myself, because it feels like we’re going to become friends, and this is something important that my friends know about me.”

“Alright. Okay. What is it?” Tooru curls his good leg up to rest on the sofa. “I’m all ears.”

Iwaizumi sighs, looking down at his lap, then nods once to himself, almost as if he’s building up the courage to speak. Then, with a clear voice, he says, “I’m trans. I’m a trans boy.”

Tooru’s mouth opens and closes several times. His jaw is working already as his mind yells at him — Think of something, say something, you can’t just stand here without saying anything! — but he’s distracted by soft laughter.

Iwaizumi’s laughing.

“You look like smoke’s going to come out of your ears, Oikawa,” he says in an affectionate tone, giving him a rough nudge in the side. Tooru makes a noise in protest, raising one hand to his shoulder without looking away from him.

“I just- I don’t want to say anything ignorant.” He takes a deep breath, then squeezes his eyes shut. “I mean, we’re friends now, and it’s totally fine to me that you’re trans, but I’ve never met someone who’s trans before, and I have a lot of questions, but I know it’s not your place to teach me about this, and I just want to be supportive, but I don’t know what to say that won’t be offensive accidentally.” His mouth works faster than he thinks, words spilling out without him really registering what he’s saying. “I just don’t want you to hate me all of a sudden or something. Which- I’m bisexual and if anyone ever said anything offensive to me about bisexuality, I’d never forgive them. At least, it’d take years. So I don’t want to fuck up right now, but it’s fine. I mean, you know it’s fine to be trans, but I’m telling you that I don’t care, which I hope is the right thing to say.”

There’s silence for a few moments, and Tooru opens his eyes hesitantly to see Iwaizumi with an odd expression, lips pressed together and a definite wrinkle between his eyebrows. Tooru’s heart sinks, because he looks angry to some extent, and he’s about to jump to apologize when he notices the other boy’s shoulders shaking.

Then Iwaizumi throws back his head and laughs, clutching at his stomach. He laughs and laughs, and Tooru wants to be offended, but he’s a little too busy falling in love with this moment — his relief and Iwaizumi’s grin and how close they are and how wonderful it is to be making him smile.

“Almost everything you say offends me, Shittykawa,” Iwaizumi says, reaching out to pinch Tooru’s cheek and making him wail. “So ask me whatever you want. I won’t hold it against you.”

There’s one question that comes to mind more than anything else, as Tooru rubs at his cheek with a pout. “… Why makeup? I mean - I know that makeup is for everyone, but people in general don’t really believe that. Or, well… you know. It’s… seen as a girly thing to people who don’t know better. So why make that your thing, or whatever?”

Iwaizumi shrugs, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “I mean, you got most of the reasons for it. I do it because I want people to stop thinking it’s girly. Because makeup is for everyone. But when I first started it out, it was more… I liked makeup, and I knew I was a boy, and I wanted to prove that those two things could exist in the same person. That I wasn’t some sort of big contradiction.” He looks down at his lap, running a hand through his hair. “I was discovering who I was, and I wanted to do something that made me feel valid, something that was purely me, no matter what anyone else thought of it. So makeup.”

“Wow. That’s…” Tooru trails off, searching for the appropriate word before deciding on, “that’s really strong of you. To be so loudly yourself. I know that can be difficult. Like… really difficult.”

“Tch. You don’t have to sound that impressed,” Iwaizumi says, running a hand through his hair again. Tooru looks over at him and is delighted to find that the tips of his ears are turning red.

“Oh my goodness, is Iwaizumi feeling all hot and bothered because he got a compliment from the grand Oikawa-san? How adorable! I can compliment you more if you’d like, you know.” That time, Tooru is expecting the smack he gets on his arm, but it’s worth it, to be able to make Iwaizumi laugh so loudly and freely. After they quiet down, Tooru says, “You know, as long as we’re talking about coming out, I guess I should do it as well. I mean, I’ve already said it, I think. But I’m bisexual. Just so you know.”

“Well, I’m gay,” Iwaizumi responds, looking a lot more at ease than he had earlier. “Just so you know.”

“Good to know.” Tooru knows the other boy was into guys from their video together, but he celebrates a little internally anyway with this confirmation of the fact. “So, have you ever dated anyone before?”

“Not really. It was kind of hard to. I never really cared about dating when I was younger, and once I got old enough to care, I was pretty wrapped up in figuring out my gender stuff.” He lifts his shoulders in a small shrug. “I wanted to figure myself out before I tried to get in a relationship with anyone else. It’s only fair. They’d have to figure me out at some point, and if I was a mess, that would just be uncomfortable for both of us.”

“That’s… a mature way to look at it.” Tooru drums his fingers on his knee. “More mature than I’d be in your position, that’s for sure.”

“You don’t have to tell me that, Oikawa. I know I’m way more mature than you.” Iwaizumi laughs at his expression. “Have you dated before, then?”

“Yeah, I dated a few people in high school. One girl in college. But none of them were serious, you know? Nothing that lasted a long time.” Tooru leans his head against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “I think I was too focused on myself, like you’re saying. I wasn’t a very good boyfriend.”

“I’m sure you were fine.” At the disbelieving look Tooru gives him, Iwaizumi amends his statement. “Okay, I’m sure that you’d be fine now. Is that better?”

“That’s optimistic, I think,” Tooru replies with a small smile. “But thanks for believing in me.” After a moment of hesitation, he reaches out with his hand, letting it rest between them on the cushion of the sofa. His pointer finger traces patterns in the fabric of the couch. “So, is there anyone you’re interested in now?”

Iwaizumi exhales softly, and Tooru’s entire body is thrumming with anticipation. But instead of answering, the other boy asks, “Have you ever been in love with someone?”

Tooru blinks, settling back in his chair. “Love? Isn’t that a little… I don’t know, intense? I guess I’ve had crushes before, but I don’t know about love. That’s different.”

“Yeah. I agree. Love is different. And I don’t think I really know how intense it’s supposed to be, or what it’s supposed to feel like, because I’ve never dated before. But I think… I think I’m in love with someone right now, actually.”

And that’s when Tooru’s heart shatters into a million little pieces, the butterflies that have been plaguing his stomach for weeks now finally falling limp.

Issei doesn’t remember what he was expecting when he started dating Hanamaki.

Well, that’s not entirely true. He was expecting Makki’s shitty sense of humor, considering the first words they’d said to each other. After the nudes, he was expecting some sense of adventure, recklessness, idiocy. And, truth be told, he was expecting to date someone with a great body.

But he hasn’t expected to end up sitting across from Oikawa Tooru at a small dining table, listening to the boy whine about his love life all throughout breakfast.

Of course, Issei isn’t complaining. In fact, he’s leaning more towards recording the conversation and writing it down. There’s a TV deal somewhere in this convoluted story, he’s sure.

“And now I’m lying to him, in two ways, and he’s into a completely separate guy.” Oikawa slumps over his untouched bowl of cereal with his phone in his hands. “That’s a sign that I should just stop, right? Just pull the plug and stop talking to him?”

“I don’t know,” Issei responds, talking around the banana in his mouth. “It’d probably make you feel horrible if you just stopped.”

“Yeah, I know that. But I’m talking about the greater good. See, if I just stop, then I can get over him faster, and he’ll never know the difference, and we’ll probably never run into each other again. And then he can get together with the guy he’s into, and it’ll turn out well for both of us in the long run.”

Issei blinks. “Okay, so it sounds like you’ve been thinking about this a lot. Why?”

Oikawa sighs, slumping even further down in his seat. “Because I’ve been messing up.”

“Messing up?”

“Like, look at this. He told me on Skype that he was calling his mom, and I asked him how she was when I was texting him. Texting-me wasn’t supposed to know that he called his mom! I had to cover for myself and it was the worst I’ve ever lied in my life!” Oikawa brandishes the phone in front of Issei’s eyes, who has to resist the urge to laugh.

“Oikawa, look, I don’t think it’d be so terrible for you to just tell him the whole story. Honestly? This is hilarious to me. I’m sure that he won’t get that mad, and you two will probably laugh about it later.”

Oikawa sniffs, lips twisting into an overdramatic pout. “That’s not helpful, Mattsun. That’s the opposite of helpful. You don’t know Iwa-chan. He might find it funny, yes, but he also might hate me, and he might never want to talk to me again.”

“But won’t the same thing happen if you just stop talking to him? Either way, you two will never speak again. And he’ll probably dislike you either way as well.” Issei gets up to throw away his banana peel, and he lays a hand on Oikawa’s shoulder on the way back. “Just… if you tell him, I feel like you’ll at least get closure. If you’re looking for the easiest way to end this, then I think getting closure will be easiest for your feelings in the long run.”

“… Huh. I’ve never thought about it like that.” There’s a look in Oikawa’s eyes that Issei can’t quite read, but the other boy is sitting up straight in his chair now, so he’ll count this as a success. “I think… I think I’ve got a lot to consider.”

“Glad I could help.” He pats Oikawa on the shoulder two times, then sits back down. “Consider this me making it up to you if you heard me and Hanamaki having sex last night.”

“What—? Oh my god, gross! I didn’t need to know that!”

from ushiwaka-chan
How are you doing?

to ushiwaka-chan
what the fuck ushijima you haven’t texted me in months

from ushiwaka-chan
It occurred to me today to check on your wellbeing as a former teammate.

to ushiwaka-chan
how rude!!!
don’t say “former” as if i’m not just taking a short break!!
i’ll be back before you know it!!

from ushiwaka-chan
You have been gone for months, Oikawa.
I don’t mean to upset you.
I’m just eager for our team to once again play to its full potential.

to ushiwaka-chan
yeah yeah whatever sure
the grand oikawa-san will join you again in a few months
so don’t go replacing me with anyone, okay?

from ushiwaka-chan
That would be illogical.
You make our team stronger.

to ushiwaka-chan
oh ushiwaka
you sure know how to flatter a guy (◡‿◡✿)

“You’ll never guess who texted me today,” Tooru says as Makki comes in the door.

Hanamaki had insisted on getting a job to pay his portion of the rent, despite Tooru’s insistence that he’d take care of it. Tooru always tries to repay him by doing chores, like cooking dinner or doing laundry, but his knee doesn’t always follow along with his good intentions. Today, however, is a good day. Tooru’s knee almost feels fine — if he tries really hard, he can all but imagine that he’s back to normal. And so he’s standing at the stove, stirring a pot of soup as Makki slumps at the little table in the kitchen.

“Who, Kageyama?” he asks with interest, because if there’s one thing that Makki loves, it’s gossip.

“No, Kageyama actually texts me pretty often. It’s super annoying,” Tooru lies, as if he hasn’t long since gotten over his problems with the younger boy. “It was Ushijima, of all people.”

“Oh. That’s not that surprising. I thought it was something juicy.”

Tooru gapes at Hanamaki, shocked at his disinterest. “What do you mean, not that surprising? Don’t you want to know what he said?”

“Let me guess. He’s checking up on you because he wants to know when you’re coming back.” Hanamaki shrugs. “Judging by the way you’re staring at me, I’m right.”

Tooru tears his gaze away from his roommate, staring back at the pot of soup on the stove. “I have no idea how you guessed that. Ushiwaka texting in the first place is a minor miracle, let alone complimenting me.”

“I keep telling you that everyone on the team misses you, right? And Ushiwaka is on the team, right? Therefore, Ushiwaka misses you. It’s the transitive property, Oikawa. I thought you were studying mathematics.”

“Haha, very funny.” The response lacks any bite, though; Tooru’s too busy considering what Hanamaki has told him. A few minutes later, as he’s ladling out soup into two bowls, he says quietly, “I don’t think I really understood until now. That… people were waiting for me to get better.”

Thankfully, Hanamaki doesn’t make jokes about it. “They’ve been on tenterhooks. They keep cornering me and asking if I know anything.”

“I can see them being that annoying.” Tooru grins to himself, unable to hide his happiness at the thought of his ridiculous team.

“Yeah, they’re a bunch of idiots. But they’re a bunch of idiots who really like you and want you to come back. So I guess it’s forgivable.” Hanamaki leans his cheek on one hand, looking up at Tooru. “What are you thinking about?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just hitting me that my life can go back to how it was before.” Hanamaki doesn’t look like he understands, so Tooru elaborates. “Like… I don’t know. Lately it’s felt like there have been huge changes in my life, you know? But it doesn’t have to be that way. In just a couple months, I can go back to normal. And…”

“And?” Hanamaki prompts.

“And I think I know what I have to do.” Tooru sets down the bowls of soup at the table, but his thoughts couldn’t be further away from dinner. “I — I need to get my phone.”

Tooru waits nervously at the entrance to the coffee shop, arms crossed over his chest. The day is a little overcast, and his knee is acting up. One part of him wants to find a place to sit, but the other part is convinced that he’ll miss Iwaizumi by accident if he does that, and that’s the last thing he wants. He’s built up his courage for this, after all. It’s now or never.

A few days ago, Iwaizumi told him over Skype that he’s staying at a friend’s house nearby for a couple weeks, since his university is on vacation, and Tooru asked to meet up at once. It seemed like perfect timing — Tooru wants to talk, and Iwaizumi is right here, easy to get in touch with and to see in person.

He checks his watch for the third time in the past five minutes. His heart just keeps beating faster as the time gets closer to 2:30. A group of middle schoolers laugh loudly as they walk past him. He holds the door open for an old woman, smiling brightly at her as she thanks him. Some woman’s baby makes faces at him, and Tooru puffs out his cheeks in response.

A few minutes later, he sees him approaching. Iwaizumi isn’t taller than Tooru, by any means, but he’s easy enough to pick out of a crowd on a bustling street. It’s apparent when Iwaizumi catches sight of him, because his resting grumpy face turns into something softer, kinder.

Tooru hates this.

“Hey, Trashykawa. How have you — um.” Iwaizumi stops as he sees the knee brace over Tooru’s skinny jeans. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, but it was a while ago.” Tooru takes a deep breath, then tries to smile. “You probably just didn’t know because I wore sweats to the convention. Don’t worry about it.”

“If you say so.” It takes a couple moments, but Iwaizumi eventually looks back up at him. “What did you want to talk about? Do you want to head inside?”

“Um, actually, I think… I think this will be quick. So there’s no point in getting a drink. I just wanted to tell you something.” Tooru opens his mouth, then hesitates, looking around at the many people at the front of the shop. “Can we actually go somewhere a little more private?”

“Sure,” Iwaizumi says, despite his obvious confusion. “We can find somewhere to sit down. It can’t be good for you to be on your feet with that injury.”

“Mm. Yeah, there should be some benches around here. There’s a park just down that road.” Tooru pushes off the wall, limping a little as he leads the way. “How have you been? How are the videos going?”

“Pretty good, actually.” Iwaizumi launches into a story of a collaboration he did with someone else, a story that Tooru already knows from religiously watching his videos. He listens anyhow as they come to a bench and sit down, trying to laugh and respond when Iwaizumi expects him to.

He must not be very good at it, because it doesn’t take long for Iwaizumi to ask, “Okay, what’s wrong? You’re being weirdly quiet, and you haven’t told me what I’m here for.”

Tooru fidgets a little. “Alright, it’s- it’s really hard to tell you this, but I have to. And I want you to know first of all that I never meant to do this, and that I really like you and I regret not telling you about this earlier. If you hate me after you hear this, I understand.”

Iwaizumi grins, almost laughing. “What’s with the dramatics, Shittykawa?”

“You don’t get it. You’re- you’re probably not going to like me very much once I tell you this. So I also want to ask that you just let me leave after I say this, because I know I did something wrong, and I don’t want to see your face when you put everything together.”

“… Alright?”

Tooru bites his bottom lip, looking away from Iwaizumi to stare down at his hands. “I’ve known you for a long time. I’m the one you’ve been texting. I’m the one who had to quit volleyball at Chuo because of my injury. I’m the one who likes aliens, and who calls you Iwa-chan. And I’m really, really sorry for lying to you, and I’m sorry for being weird and finding you at the convention. I’m — I just feel really bad about the whole thing, and I want you to know that I would’ve done it differently if I could have.”

There’s absolute silence after Tooru finishes, but he’s far too scared to look up and see the expression on Iwaizumi’s face. He wants to remember Iwaizumi as the person who lit up when he saw Tooru, not whatever he might be thinking now. And a part of him is still hopeful that Iwaizumi might say something, might forgive him right here and tell him that everything is okay. But the silence stretches on, without any regard for what Tooru wants.

So Tooru pushes himself up from his seat on the bench with some effort, balling his hands up into fists. “I’m sorry. I hope things go well for you. And I hope everything works out with your crush.” And still without a single glance at Iwaizumi, he heads in the direction of his apartment, thankful that he doesn’t hear any footsteps behind him following him.

Takahiro jumps as the front door of the apartment slams open, and he sits up from where he’s sprawled over the couch to see Oikawa walking into the living room, a stormy expression on his face.

So it didn’t go well.

He knows better than to ask anything specific about how Oikawa’s meeting with Iwaizumi went. Instead, he just holds one arm out against the back of the couch. As expected, his roommate moves to curl up under his arm, pressing his face into his shoulder. Takahiro strokes his hair for a few minutes, letting Oikawa cling to him before asking, “that bad, huh?”

“He didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to do. I was so nervous, and he didn’t say anything, and I just walked away.” His words sound a little muffled, considering he’s talking into the fabric of Takahiro’s shirt, but Takahiro still understands him well enough.

“I’m sorry, Oikawa.” There’s no response, and Takahiro nudges his shoulder a little. “Are you crying? It’s okay if you are. I’ll get you tissues.”

Oikawa lets out a long sigh, then shakes his head. “No. I don’t feel like crying. I just feel really… empty.” He sighs again, but this time it sounds more determined. “It shouldn’t last. It won’t last. I’ll get over it soon. It’s just that…”

“It’s just that you need some time to wallow in your own self-pity. Eat ice cream, whine, watch shitty rom-coms.” Takahiro grins, pressing a kiss to the top of Oikawa’s head. “And I already stocked up on ice cream, so all we need is a couple of spoons and Netflix’s entire selection of terrible movies.”

Oikawa is laughing by the time he finishes speaking, so he counts that as a success. “You’re perfect, Makki. A star. The world’s best roommate.” As he speaks, he moves to sit on his own couch cushion, taking off his coat and draping it over the arm of the sofa.

Takahiro gets to his feet, stretching his arms over his head before moving towards the kitchen. “So I’ll go get the ice cream, and you’ll get your Netflix hooked up to the TV. Alright?”

“Yeah, sure. Just — one thing.” Oikawa fishes his phone out of his pocket, and Takahiro leans over the back of the couch. Oikawa doesn’t protest, so Takahiro watches as the other boy deletes Iwaizumi’s number from his phone, blocks him, then removes his contact on Skype.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks in a soft voice.

Oikawa nods. “Yeah. I need to get over him. And this way, there’ll be less temptation for me to talk to him, and less of a reminder of how badly this whole thing went. Right?”

Takahiro squeezes his shoulders, then pushes away from the sofa. “If you say so. I’m going to go get that ice cream. I hope chocolate chip cookie dough is alright with you.” Oikawa’s delighted exclamation at that is enough to get him smiling again.

At the end of the day, Hajime thinks, it makes sense.

He’d been shocked into silence when Oikawa had spilled the beans to him, but now, after a lot of thought, it makes sense. And of course, more than anything else, he feels relieved.

After all, he’d been crushing on a faceless person he’d been texting for months now. To find out that this person was Oikawa, someone he already liked, was probably the best case scenario.

Or it would’ve been, if Hajime could only get in touch with him.

Ever since their meeting, Oikawa has been impossible to get in reach. Hajime has tried finding the boy on every social media, but Oikawa has been at the top of his game when it comes to ignoring all of Hajime’s friend requests. Even their phone conversation has become an long string of texts from Hajime, begging for Oikawa to hear him out. It’s embarrassing.

In all this desperation to contact him, it doesn’t take long for Hajime to find Oikawa’s YouTube. He’s not sure if watching the videos makes him feel worse or better. It’s clear to see that Oikawa started posting more regularly after starting to speak with him, and all the songs he’s posted in the past few months are bubbly songs about relationships. Hajime doesn’t want to read too much into it, but when he hears the latest song Oikawa has covered, a sad crooner about lost love posted just two days ago, he’s come to the conclusion that Oikawa might like him back.

Which makes it nothing short of a miracle that he finally gets thrown a bone. Ten days after their meeting, Oikawa tweets about doing a livestream with song requests later that day. Hajime is on edge for the next few hours, irritating his roommates as he checks the time over and over, waiting for the stream to start.

His plan is to try chatting with Oikawa once the stream begins, no matter who else will be watching. But as the video comes on, he recognizes where Oikawa is. The jungle gym in the background, the stone ledge he’s sitting on — he’s at the park near where they last spoke. The bench they were sitting on is almost in view, for God’s sake.

Hajime doesn’t think. He just jumps into action, stripping off his binder and pulling on a couple sports bras instead. Before he knows what he’s doing, he’s sprinting out the door, heading for the park at a breakneck pace.

His heart leaps pathetically when he makes it to the small courtyard where he sees Oikawa sitting. There’s something ethereal about the boy, how he looks as he sings, his fingers moving over his guitar with care. Hajime takes a few deep breaths, then approaches.

He can make out what Oikawa’s singing now, something about believing in all the possibilities, and in that moment, Hajime thinks the song is pretty apt. “Hey, Oikawa!”

Oikawa stops abruptly, staring up at Hajime in complete shock. But he doesn’t have time to say anything, or even get up. All impulse and passion, Hajime leans down, cupping his cheeks and pulling him into a firm kiss.

He feels the heat of Oikawa’s cheeks under his fingers when he pulls away. He’s red, and panting, and his fingers are gripping Hajime’s shirt, his guitar left forgotten, hanging from the strap over his shoulders.

“I’m… I’m doing a livestream, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says, blushing to the tips of his ears as Hajime laughs.

“Alright. I can wait.” Hajime can’t stop smiling as he sits down next to Oikawa.

The other boy glances between Hajime and his computer’s camera with wide eyes, covering his face with his hands before squeaking out, “I’m so sorry, I’ll be back!”, and closing the monitor.

“I’ll apologize to your fans later. Promise,” Hajime teases, and he has to admit that he enjoys seeing Oikawa all flustered like this. The boy tries to set his guitar aside, but the strap gets tangled in his arms and around his neck, and Hajime has to help him lift it over his head.

“Oh my God, this is such a mess. What- what are you doing here?”

Hajime feels a slight twinge of smugness at how Oikawa is brushing his fingers over his own lips. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for almost two weeks now. You’re an idiot. You know that, right?”

“I — I thought you didn’t want to talk to me. You didn’t say anything when I told you. I wanted to get over you.” Oikawa bites his lip, and Hajime has to resist the urge to lean closer and kiss him again.

Instead, he reaches for one of Oikawa’s hands, intertwining their fingers. “I hope you haven’t gotten over me. That would suck.”

“But — you said you had a crush on someone else.” Oikawa’s voice is small, helpless, and he looks down at their hands in something close to wonder.

Hajime rolls his eyes, moving to press his forehead against Oikawa’s. “Yeah, you nerd. I had a crush on the ridiculous boy I was texting.” This close, he can hear Oikawa’s breath catch in his throat. “In fact, I still have a crush on him. And it would be cool if he wanted to go out with me.”

Oikawa laughs in a bewildered way that still turns out completely charming. “Um. Yes? Yes, I want that. I’ve — I’ve wanted that for a ridiculously long time. It feels like forever. Oh God, I can’t believe this is happening. I have to tell my therapist.”

Hajime cocks an eyebrow, running his thumb over Oikawa’s, and delighting in the little shudder from the other boy. “You talked to your therapist about me?”

“I tell my therapist everything on my mind.” Oikawa smiles a little. “That includes my crushes on criminally attractive YouTubers who cheer me up when I’m sick.”

“‘Criminally attractive’? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means that your face is a weapon of mass destruction. There must be people everywhere who are dying to date you.” Oikawa pauses for a moment, then kisses him, so fast that Hajime doesn’t even realize it’s happened before Oikawa is leaning back, and all that’s left is a tingle on his lips.

“If those people do exist, I’m sorry for them. ‘Cause you’re the only one I want.” Hajime squeezes Oikawa’s hand, and in response, Oikawa just covers his face with his other hand, shaking his head.

“Oh my God, I’m never going to get used to this. The butterflies in my stomach are worse now, you ass. I’m going to be blushing for the first seven months of our relationship.”

“That’s fine by me. You look cute when you blush.” Hajime just grins as Oikawa’s protests grow even louder, tugging him in for another kiss. And another. And another.

Eventually, Oikawa goes back to his stream, leaning back against Hajime’s chest as he sings a vaguely familiar song, glancing up at Hajime as he croons, “You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you.”

Things just fall into place after that, to Oikawa’s surprise. The distance between them isn’t so difficult to deal with, considering that they first met over text. And every chance they do get to be with each other is time well spent. Makki can’t even complain at how close they are, no matter how much he’d like to, because they’re just too cute.

At least, that’s what Tooru thinks.

One weekend, when Tooru has driven up to visit Iwaizumi, they spread out Hajime’s makeup and do another video together. This time, Iwaizumi does Tooru’s face, flirting outrageously with him in front of the camera and laughing at his embarrassed responses. Tooru loves it, though — loves that being with Iwaizumi is this effortless, loves how it feels to have Iwaizumi this close.

When Iwaizumi tells him they’re done, he flutters his eyes at the other boy, asking in a sultry voice, “Do you like what you see?”

It’s supposed to be a joke. Fifteen minutes of passionate making out later, it’s clear that Iwaizumi does, indeed, like what he sees. Maybe a little too much. This video will definitely need some hardcore editing, Tooru thinks before sighing as Iwaizumi’s hand slips under his shirt.

Later, they’re lying in bed together at night, Iwaizumi’s arm resting over Tooru’s hip. Tooru is about to drift to sleep when Iwaizumi clears his throat.

“Are you awake?” he asks in a hushed voice, and Tooru rolls over, forcing himself to open his eyes.

“Yeah. A little. What is it?” He runs one hand over Iwaizumi’s back, tracing the lines of his muscles.

“I’ve been thinking, and… I want to try out for the men’s volleyball team at my school.” The words come out in a bit of a rush, but Tooru understands enough.

Enough to prop himself up on his elbow and give his boyfriend a serious once-over. “Good. Not ideal, but good.”

Iwaizumi frowns a little. “What do you mean, not ideal?”

“I was hoping you’d say that you’d drop out of school to join Chuo and be my wing spiker.” Tooru laughs as Iwaizumi swats at him. “But rejoining your volleyball team is still good. I’ll look forward to destroying you on the court when we go against each other.”

“Can you let me finish?” Iwaizumi demands, pressing his fingers into Tooru’s side where he’s ticklish. Tooru yelps and falls back onto the mattress, struggling against Iwaizumi until his boyfriend stops tickling and just pulls him in close. “I’m out of practice, okay? I haven’t played in ages. So I was wondering if you’d set to me when you get better so that I can get my skills back.”

“… Really?” Tooru shifts a little to look at him. Iwaizumi nods, and a bright grin breaks out over Tooru’s face before he pulls him in for a kiss. “Of course I’ll help you. I’ll make you amazing. So good that they won’t be able to resist letting you join. You’ll be a starting member right off the bat. Sounds good?”

“Sounds like a fairytale, Trashykawa.” Iwaizumi’s voice is dry, but Tooru can feel that most of the tension has drained from his body.

“You have so little faith,” Tooru teases before kissing him once more.

After a few minutes, Iwaizumi pulls back, running a hand through his hair. “You know, there’s something I don’t tell you often enough.”

“How beautiful I am?” Tooru replies right off the bat, eyes lighting up in mischief. “How awestruck you are every day by the combination of genetics that resulted in such a charming, handsome boy?”

“Shut up, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi groans, pinching Tooru’s cheek until he promises to stay quiet. “I was going to say how thankful I am that I got the wrong number, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Oh.” Tooru’s eyes widen, and he has to admit that his breath leaves him a little as he looks up at Iwaizumi in the moonlit room. “I’m thankful. I’m really thankful, okay?”

“I know, I know.” Iwaizumi pulls him in close again, nestling his head into the curve of Oikawa’s neck and shoulder. “I am too.”