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The High 5 Heroes had been pushing, and pushing, and pushing- And they were still behind the Bad Kids, far behind the Bad Kids.
Something had to be done, Kipperlily decided. They had been at Augefort for two years, now, and The Bad Kids were all everyone would ever talk about. Even when The High 5 Heroes were good, too- Not perfect, yet, not strong enough, but they would. Just a bit more time grinding rats, and they would be as good as them. No. That wasn’t true. The High 5 Heroes were as good as the Bad Kids, already. They just didn’t get as many opportunities as the Bad Kids did. The High 5 Heroes never got given the chance to save all of Spire, or to fight a dragon, or anything that the Bad Kids somehow managed to. So- it wasn’t that the High 5 Heroes weren’t good enough, no. It was that the Bad Kids needed to be taken down a peg. Yes, Kipperlily decided, as the plan formed in her head.
The Bad Kids needed to be sabotaged.
“Sabotaged?” Buddy asked. “What sort of sabotage?”
“Like- getting rid of their weapons?” Ivy asked.
“Slashing their tires?” Mary Ann asked.
Kipperlily blinked. “How would slashing their tires make them have a worse reputation and a harder time on missions?”
“Not being able to drive pisses them off,” Ivy said. “And pissing them off… makes them fight worse?”
“No,” Kipperlily said. “We need to do something big. Something that they’ll know will come from us.”
“Like a prank?” Oisin asked.
Mary Ann gasped. ‘We’re gonna have a prank war?”
“No,” Kipperlily said. “It’s not a prank war. It’s a tactically sound sabotage of our enemies.”
“Are they really our enemies?” Lucy asked, softly.
“Yes,” Kipperlily said. “They are. And they need to be taken down a peg.”
“By pranking them?” Oisin asked. “I got nothing against a prank war, myself, just want to make sure we’re all on the same page-”
“Not a prank war,” Kipperlily hissed. “What do I have to say to make it clear that this is not a prank war?”
“Something that makes it sound like we’re not pranking them, ideally,” Ivy said. “Because, so far, you haven’t said anything that disproves it.”
“We’re sabotaging them,” Buddy said, primly. “Not pranking them.”
“Thank you,” Kipperlily said. “At least someone listens.”
“I was listening,” Lucy said.
“We all were listening,” Mary Ann added. “It’s just- it really sounds like we’re pranking them.”
“Totally a prank war,” Oisin continued.
“It’s not a prank war,” Kipperlily ground out.
“If it means they’ll help,” Lucy said. “Why not let them call it that?”
“Whatever,” Kipperlily said. “Let’s just- let’s focus on figuring out what we’re going to do to sabotage-”
“Prank,” Oisin corrected.
“Sabotage,” Kipperlily repeated, harsher. “We’re sabotaging them. We just need to figure out how.”
“Let’s plan a prank,” Mary Ann declared.
—
The next week, the Bad Kids opened their lockers to discover the doors enchanted. As soon as they opened the doors of their lockers, a large jet of water sprayed forth from them, as cold as ice. The water was a harsh stream, worse than when you accidentally spray the hose on its most powerful setting. And it did not stop. For a whole minute. Riz had had the bright idea of closing his locker, to hopefully negate the spell- only to see water dripping out of the inside of his locker, and reopened it to discover an entirely soaked interior, textbooks and all. Or, at least, it did- until dispel magic was cast and the water abruptly stopped. Still, it left the Bad Kids damp and mildly inconvenienced.
—
“Holy shit!” Fig cheered. “We just got pranked!”
“Why are you so happy about this?” Fabian asked. “They ruined my jacket.”
“And my books,” Riz added.
“Because,” Fig said. “This means that it’s a prank war!”
“We don’t even know who pranked us,” Adaine said.
“That’s sort of needed for a prank war, isn’t it?” Gorgug asked. “Knowing who pranked us, so we can retaliate?”
“We could look for clues,” Riz said, eagerly. “I bet they left some sort of trace-”
“Or,” Kristen said, eyes wide and manic. “We could just prank the whole school.”
“That’s it!” Fig cheered. “That’s what we’re doing. For sure. We’re pranking the whole school.”
“The whole school?” Adaine asked. “What if-”
“Aguefort loves pranks,” Fig said. “He told me himself.”
“I really don’t think that’s true,” Riz said.
“He is pretty chill,” Gorgug said. “I don’t think I’ve seen a single kid get expelled unless they, you know, killed people. And we’re not killing anyone with our pranks.”
Fig grinned, devilishly.
“We are not killing anyone with our pranks,” Adaine said. “I will curse you-”
“We’re not, we’re not,” Fig promised. “I’m not evil! Now pretending to kill someone-”
“Do not get us expelled,” Adaine said. “And, quite frankly, I do not want to spend anymore time in detention, either.”
“So declaring that it’s us doing the prank is a bad idea?” Fabian asked, hiding the massive ‘The Bad Kids Were Here’ graffiti he’d been sketching.
“Yes,” Adaine said.
“We can’t give them proof, at least,” Riz said. “Everyone will guess it was us, anyway.”
“Why?” Kristen asked.
“Because we have a reputation,” Fig and Gorgug said at the exact same time.
Fig was grinning. Gorgug was despairing.
“So we just need to not leave actual proof,” Riz said. “And they can’t blame us.”
“They could blame us,” Adaine said. “Just wrongly, I suppose. Or- rightly, but without proof. Wrongly in the eyes of the law.”
“Enough law talk!” Fig shouted dramatically. “More prank talk! How are we going to get back at these mystery prankers?”
—
The next day, the entirety of Aguefort’s Adventuring Academy was littered with mines. Not- not literal mines, obvious, the Bad Kids weren’t insane, but, well, glitter mines. Magical glitter mines, to be precise. They were invisible, and activated with touch or motion. As soon as anyone was near one, they would end up sprayed in glitter that was even harder to remove than normal glitter, somehow. And they couldn’t be disarmed with a dispel magic. They also couldn’t be teleported, once they went off. They were pretty magic resistant. Not so resistant to being thrown across the room, though. Or smashed with an axe. But not every prank could be perfect. This prank, though, did leave over half the school covered in glitter.
—
“I told you it was a prank war,” Mary Ann said, grinning through the glitter.
“How did they even know that we were the ones who sabotaged us?” Buddy asked.
“Maybe they thought ‘who has a weird rivalry with us and keeps declaring that’,” Ivy said.
“Was it even a prank against us?” Lucy asked. “It seems like the whole school was affected…”
“Only because they didn’t know where we’d be,” Kipperlily decided.
“Does this mean you agree that it’s a prank war?” Oisin asked.
Kipperlily glared at him. “No. But it does mean that the Bad Kids finally agree that we’re worthy opponents. Their true rivals. Which means-”
“A prank war?” Mary Ann asked.
“A strategic sabotage based rivalry,” Kipperlily corrected.
“It’s totally a prank war, right?” Ivy asked.
“Totally,” Oisin said.
“Whatever,” Kipperlily said. “We need to plan our next attack.”
“Prank war!” Mary Ann cheered.
“What about itching cream?” Oisin asked.
“It’s war,” Kipperlily said. “Take this seriously.”
“It’s high school,” Lucy corrected, futilely picking a piece of glitter off Kipperlily’s face. “Enjoy it.”
—
A few days later, and the Bad Kids were pranked. Again. This time, they were followed by a flock of birds, that insulted them wherever they went. The birds didn’t even insult them well, really. The Bad Kids were ripe with insecurity, and parental issues, and complexes- and instead they were taunted with birds that told them that their hair didn’t look great. But the birds were, well, birds, and getting followed by a flock of birds inside of a school wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience. Especially when half the school, and most of the teachers, thought that the Bad Kids were the ones who had summoned the birds because they, well, they had a reputation. That much was obvious, at that point. And it was also obvious that they would have to step up their game.
—
“Any idea who our mystery prankers are?” Adaine asked, as she picked a feather off her shoulder.
‘Nope,” Fig said. “This is fun as hell, though.”
“You know, most people’s reaction to getting pranked isn’t ‘this is fun’,” Riz said.
“You suck,” one of the birds squawked.”
“When have we been like most people?” Kristen asked.
“Literally never,” Fabian said. “Our uniqueness is our best quality.”
“Think that’s why we’re getting pranked?” Gorgug asked. “Because we’re ‘unique’?”
“We’re so cool, they just had to prank us,” Fig said. “We have a magical beacon above screaming- ‘please prank, we rock’.”
“Out of jealousy?” Adaine asked.
“You’re losers,” another bird chirped.
“No,” Fig said. “Just out of like- understanding that we have the same prankerly spirit. Obviously.”
“What in Spire is a prankerly spirit?” Riz asked.
“You don’t know about prankerly spirit, The Ball?” Fabian asked, with a dramatic gasp. “How dare you!”
“You’ve never heard of it either,” Gorgug said. “Fig just made it up.”
“I totally did,” Fig said. “Now, come on- let’s brainstorm!”
“Do we really have to?” Adaine asked. “Again?”
“Come on,” Fig goaded. “Prank war! Prank war!”
“Prank war!” Kristen and Fabian joined in, cheering.
—
The next day, and the entire school was upside down. Completely upside down. Every piece of furniture, every locker, every single thing you could think would be upside down- and nearly every thing you could think wouldn’t be able to be upside down- was upside down. The desks. The vending machines. The training dummies. And, well, the students, too. And the staff. It was not as simple a prank as gluing everything to the ceiling, no. Instead it was an antigravity charm, rooted into the school itself, that was disruptive enough that it nearly- only nearly- caused classes to be cancelled for the day. It also meant that the High 5 Heroes couldn’t kill any rats, because everyone was busy trying to figure out how to undo the spell. And Kipperlily nearly failed her rogue quiz because she was upside down.
—
“Okay,” Kipperlily said, glowering. “That’s enough.”
“You’re the one who wanted to get into a prank war with the Bad Kids,” Oisin said. “They all kinda have a ‘really good at pranks’ vibe to them.”
“It’s not a prank war,” Kipperlily hissed. “It’s a war-war. They are declaring war on us!”
“They don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as you are,” Buddy said.
“No,” Kipperlily said. “They- they have to be taking this seriously. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have beat us like this.”
“Either way,” Lucy said. “I think they did beat us, Kip.”
“They didn’t beat us,” Kipperlily said.
“I feel pretty beaten,” Buddy said.
“I don’t think we’re ever going to be better at pranks than they are,” Ivy said. “Like, ever.”
Kipperlily felt rage fill her.
“Just at sabotaging,” Lucy said. “Not at everything.”
“Yeah,” Oisin said. “This doesn’t mean they’re actually better than us.”
“Yes,” Ivy said. “Of course not.”
“They just- they’re really good at pr- at sabotaging,” Buddy said. “And so perhaps we should stick to our… strengths?”
“Fine,” Kipperlily said, eventually. “Clearly, sabotaging them isn’t working. We’ll have to stop this line of attack.”
“No more prank war?” Mary Ann asked.
“Not the time,” Buddy said.
“No more sabotaging,” Kipperlily corrected, sharply. “This whole thing has left us slacking on our grinding, anyway.”
“Wiat-” Ivy said.
“So,” Kipperlily said, steamrolling over him. “We’re going back to killing rats and spiders. For an extra hour than we used to, I think.”
“Kipperlily-” Lucy started.
“No,” Kipperlily. “We have to do better. We can’t let them win. We just can’t.”
—
The High 5 Heroes had to step up their game. Kipperlily had to step up her game. She would not be bested by the Bad Kids.