Chapter Text
ESTABLISHING FOOTAGE OF THE WERKROOM. IT’S BEEN IMPROVED SINCE THE LAST SERIES, BIGGER SPACES AND MORE TABLES. IT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE A BROADWAY PRODUCTION OF ‘ALADDIN’ - BLUE AND GOLD LANDSCAPES PAINTED ON THE WALLS, GRAND COLUMNS AND DRAPERIES.
NASTASJA [VOICEOVER]
My harem! We’re back! Missed me?
ZOOM THROUGH THE WERKROOM DOOR AND CUT TO A SHOT PANNING ACROSS THE SIX JUDGES STANDING IN A SORT OF VOID, ALL LIT IN THEIR OWN COLOURED SPOT: NASTASJA FILIPOVNA, LADY SIREN, LEFTKADA TSUNAMI, TITTA FOUREIRA, LOLA LOVE AND NINA LEE - THE HAREM GIRLS. CUT TO NASTASJA WINKING AND BLOWING A KISS TO THE CAMERA.
CUT TO ESTABLISHING FOOTAGE OF THE MAINSTAGE
NASTASJA [V/O]
This season is bigger than ever!
LADY SIREN [V/O]
More contestants!
LEFTKADA [V/O]
More challenges!
TITTA [V/O]
And more prize money!
LOLA [V/O]
The winner of this season of Drag Race Europa will receive €30,000. .
NINA [V/O]
. . and a custom crown and scepter!
NASTASJA [V/O]
Are you ready to be crowned Europe’s Next Drag Superstar? Get ready, because the race is about to start!
OPENING THEME.
INT. WERKROOM
PAN ACROSS THE DOOR.
ENTER SONJA SPIDERLILY. SHE IS WEARING A RED VELVET GOWN WITH A SWEETHEART NECKLINE, WITH A SLIT AT HER THIGH WITH A RUFFLE, AND LAYERS OF TULLE RUFFLES BENEATH. THERE ARE TWO RED FLOWERS ON THE FRONT OF THE DRESS BY THE RUFFLES, FRAMED WITH A GOLD CHAIN BETWEEN THEM. SHE HAS A GOLD CHOKER WHICH CONNECTS ONTO GOLD CHAIN SHRUG SLEEVES. SHE HAS A BLACK WIG, BIG AND OLD-HOLLYWOOD ESQUE. SHE WALKS WITH CONFIDENCE, RAISING HER ARM.
SONJA
Shndrit!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SONJA’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK COMPRISES OF A BLACK TURTLENECK AND EMBROIDERED GRAY BLAZER. HER HAIR IS BLACK, LONG AND WITH A FULL FRINGE.
SONJA
Ç’kemi, world! My name is Sonja Spiderlily, I am thirty-three, from Shkodër, Albania.. and I am a model.
INT. WERKROOM
SONJA CONTINUES TO POSE, ALL VERY ELEGANT AND PRECISE.
SONJA [V/O]
Sonja is not a queen, she is an empress. She is practised and polished and.. perfect.
A BEAT.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SONJA
And she is Europe’s Next Drag Superstar.
SHE WINKS.
INT. WERKROOM
SONJA LOOKS AROUND, REALISING SHE’S THE FIRST IN. SHE LAUGHS AND PUTS HER HANDS ON HER HIPS.
SONJA
Best for first?
SHE HEADS TO ONE OF THE TABLES. CUT BACK TO THE DOOR, WHERE UPBEAT, ALMOST SHANTY-ESQUE MUSIC PLAYS. ENTER SAILOR MARINE WURST. SHE’S WEARING A BLUE FITTED BLAZER AND MATCHING MINI SKIRT WITH FOUR LINES OF WHITE PIPING AT THE HEM AND CUFFS. UNDER THE BLAZER ARE WHITE FRILLS, WITH MATCHING FRILLS AT THE CUFFS AND UNDER THE SKIRT IS A VISIBLE WHITE PETTICOAT. SHE HAS ON WHITE STOCKINGS AND BLACK MARY JANE STYLE HEELS. HER WIG IS LONG AND BLONDE, AND SHE HAS A SAILOR HAT ON.
SAILOR
Ahoy, girls!
CUT TO SONJA, LEANING ON THE TABLE AND LOOKING AT SAILOR CURIOUSLY.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAILOR’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A BLACK SHIRT AND A LEATHER JACKET WITH HUNDREDS OF SILVER EYELETS POKING THROUGH IT. HIS HAIR IS BLACK AND SHORT AND MESSY. HE HAS A NECKLACE WITH A PAPER BOAT SHAPED CHARM.
SAILOR
Hiya! I’m Sailor Marine Wurst, and, yes, that is Wurst as in Conchita. I am her one and only beautiful daughter! I’m twenty-four and from Vienna, Austria..
A BEAT.
SAILOR
..and I have a legacy to live up to, don't I?
INT. WERKROOM
SAILOR POSES, ALL VERY CUTESY. CUT TO SONJA WITH AN EYEBROW RAISED. SHE ISN’T CONVINCED BY SAILOR AT ALL. SAILOR SEES HER AND WAVES.
SAILOR
Second in! Hi!
SONJA
Hello.
SAILOR HEADS OVER TO THE TABLE. THEY SHAKE HANDS.
SONJA
I’m Sonja, Sonja Spiderlily.
SAILOR
Nice to meet you, Sonja! I’m Sailor Marine Wurst-
SONJA
Wurst?
SAILOR
Conchita is my drag mom, yes!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SONJA
Maybe this one is competition after all. A daughter of Conchita?
INT. WERKROOM
SONJA
So, what sort of drag do you do..?
SAILOR
Oh, I’m a singer.
SONJA
..Oh, really?
CUT TO THE DOOR AGAIN. SULTRY MUSIC PLAYS AS THE NEXT QUEEN WALKS IN. THE CAMERA PANS FROM THE BOTTOM OF HER DRESS. YOU HEAR SAILOR GASP. BLACK VELVET EVENING GOWN, WITH MATCHING OPERA LENGTH GLOVES. SHE IS WEARING A BIG FUR BOA, THAT DRAPES ALL THE WAY TO THE FLOOR AND HOLDS A VINTAGE CIGARETTE HOLDER. HER WIG IS BLACK AND IN A COMPLEX UPDO - AND SHE HAS A FULL MOUSTACHE. THIS IS ADONXS.
ADONXS
Kiss kiss hello, darlings!
CUT TO SAILOR AND SONJA CHEERING HER ON. CUT BACK TO ADONXS GIVING A SULTRY POSE.
ADONXS [V/O]
Hello, darlings!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
ADONXS’ CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A BLACK BLAZER OVER A SHEER, LACE TURTLENECK. HIS HAIR IS SHORT, DARK BROWN AND RATHER FLUFFY. HE HAS TWO SMALL SILVER HOOP PIERCINGS IN HIS EARS.
ADONXS
I’m Adonxs, I’m thirty and I am from Myjava, Slovakia, but I’m currently living in Czechia. I would say.. I’m a dancer, I love a bit of burlesque and cabaret..
INT. WERKROOM
MORE SULTRY POSES. CUT TO THE TABLE AND SAILOR IS STARING WITH HEART EYES. ADONXS TROTS OVER TO THE OTHER TWO AND SHE IS.. VERY TALL. THE OTHER TWO CRANE THEIR NECKS TO LOOK HER IN THE FACE
ADONXS
Hi, loves!
SAILOR
Hi to you too!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAILOR LOOKS GAGGED
SAILOR
Thee Adonxs? With an X? Puss.
INT. WERKROOM
SONJA
Do you two know each other?
ADONXS
Online! Love her, she's a talent.
SAILOR
Awh, you too!
CUT BACK TO THE DOOR ONCE AGAIN. DRAMATIC, ALMOST MEDIEVAL MUSIC PLAYS - SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU WANT TO SLAY A DRAGON. ENTER IVY KNIGHTLEY, IN A LEATHER BODYSUIT WITH MATCHING SHOULDER, ARM AND LEG ARMOUR, GLOVES AND A WHITE SKIRT THAT DRAPES ONTO THE FLOOR. SHE CARRIES A PROP SWORD AND HER WIG IS BROWN AND IN A NORDIC BRAID DOWN HER SHOULDER, AND THERE ARE FUR CUFFS ON HER ARMS AND LEGS.
IVY
I’ll be your knight in shining armour!
THE OTHER THREE CHEER AS NORMAL. SAILOR GIVES A LOW WHISTLE.
ADONXS [WHISPERED]
She looks about twelve..!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
IVY’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A BLACK AND GRAY COMPRESSION TOP, THE KIND YOU’D WEAR FOR SPORTS. HE HAS DARK CROPPED HAIR WITH A SUPERMAN CURL. HE IS VERY SMILEY
IVY
Hi, Europe! My name is Ivy Knightley and I am.. nineteen years old!
A BEAT.
I have been doing drag since I was a teenager, I am practised, I swear.
INT. WERKROOM
IVY SWINGS HER SWORD A LITTLE. IT LOOKS QUITE HEAVY. ADONXS AND SONJA CLAP.
IVY [V/O]
My family is half Norwegian and half Spanish so I infuse a lot of both those cultures into my drag style-
INT. CONFESSIONAL
IVY
Maybe I should have gone full viking with this look. Too much?
INT. WERKROOM
IVY RUNS OVER TO THE OTHERS AS THEY ALL SAY HI OVER EACH OTHER. SHE KISSES EACH OF THEM ON THE CHEEKS AS A GREETING
IVY
Hiya, I’m Ivy!
ADONXS
Lovely to meet you- Don’t mind me asking, but how old are you?
IVY
Nineteen!
SONJA
Nineteen, you are a baby! How long have you been doing this?
IVY
Four years next June.
SONJA
Oh my!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
ADONXS
She’s nineteen. Oh my god, I’m going to have to send a child home. This will make me feel awful.
INT. WERKROOM
CUT BACK TO THE DOOR. ENTER.. A DRAG KING? THIS IS GO-JO. HE’S WEARING AN OVERSIZED WHITE SUIT WITH RED PINSTRIPES, A WHITE SHIRT AND A RED BANDANA AROUND HIS NECK. HIS FACE IS PAINTED WHITE AND HE HAS A STYLISED MOUSTACHE AND A WIG WITH A SCULPTED CURLED SHAPE.
ADONXS, OFF CAMERA
Is this our first king?!
GO-JO STANDS WITH HIS HANDS ON HIS HIPS AND ONE LEG OUT.
GO-JO
Wanna taste?
HE WINKS AT THE CAMERA. THE OTHERS CHEER AGAIN.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
GO-JO’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A WHITE FORM-FITTING TANK TOP WITH RED HORIZONTAL STRIPES AND HIS HAIR IS CURLY AND LOOKS LIKE IT KINDA NEEDS A WASH.
GO-JO
G’day, Europe, it’s Go-Jo here and I’m the king of ‘The middle of Nowhere’, Australia.
INT. WERKROOM.
GO-JO POSES AND GIVES A SPIN. HE READJUSTS HIS BANDANA.
GO-JO [V/O]
I believe I’m Europa’s first drag king which is.. Crazy. I’m stupid, I do dumb comedy, I’m smutty..
INT. CONFESSIONAL
GO-JO
I like to think I’m funny.
INT. WERKROOM
GO-JO HEADS OVER TO THE QUEENS AROUND THE TABLE. HE GIVES A FRIENDLY WAVE WITH BOTH HANDS.
GO-JO
Hiya, ladies!
ADONXS
A king! We were overdue!
GO-JO
Proud to be the first! Hope I can catch up on the runway.
EVERYONE LAUGHS.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SONJA
I’m quite intrigued by this Go-Jo. I cannot wait to see what he brings to the competition.
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF THE CONTESTANTS CHATTING, BUT THEN CUT BACK TO THE DOOR ONCE MORE. ENTER RED SEBASTIAN. SHE’S IN A RED EVENING GOWN WITH A BIG SLIT UP THE LEG, WITH A RED AND BLACK PUFFER JACKET ON TOP OF IT - IT’S PARTY ON THE TOP, FORMAL ON THE BOTTOM. HER SHOES ARE CHUNKY BLACK PLATFORM BOOTS. HER WIG IS A MATCHING SHADE OF RED AND IN A HIGH PONYTAIL. SHE POSES DRAMATICALLY.
SEBASTIAN
Get lost in my eyes.
MORE CHEERS AS PER USUAL. SOME MURMURS OF CONFUSION ABOUT THE OUTFIT. VERY RED, AND THE DRESS DOESN’T SEEM TO MATCH.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
RED SEBASTIAN’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS, AS SUGGESTED, VERY RED. HE HAS A DYED RED BUZZCUT, AND HE’S WEARING A RED LEATHER JACKET OVER A SHEER TOP, WITH AN ACCENT OF SILVER OF HIS CHAINS AND EARRING.
SEBASTIAN
Hello, hi, I’m Red Sebastian, I’m twenty-five and I hail from beautiful Belgium!
INT. WERKROOM
SEBASTIAN PULLS A FEW POSES, ALL VERY DRAMA. SHE THEN WAVES HI TO THE OTHER GIRLS AND BOY.
SEBASTIAN [V/O]
I’d say my drag style is very inspired by rave culture, by parties I went to in my Uni years..
SHE KISSES THE CHEEKS OF A COUPLE THE OTHERS AS A GREETING.
SEBASTIAN
Hello, hello! I’m Red Sebastian.
SONJA
I see you have a favourite colour..
SEBASTIAN
The colour of passion, of course!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
ADONXS
I’m not sure about this Sebastian..
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF THE CONTESTANTS INTERRACTING.
ADONXS [V/O]
I hope she can show some versatility. The judges might get bored of red.
CUT BACK TO THE DOOR. SWEEPING MUSIC AS IN ENTERS SAULE. SHE WEARS A STRUCTURED CORSET PIECE WITH GOLD, ALMOST ARCHITECTURAL, ACCENTS AROUND THE END, WITH A MATCHING GOLD HEADPIECE AND HEELS. SHE HAS A FLOWY WHITE TULLE SKIRT AND SLEEVES AND HER WIG IS DARK AND LONG. SHE POSES GRACEFULLY.
SAULĖ
Are you ready for the sunrise?
USUAL CHEERS AND A FEW ‘OOOS’ AT HER OUTFIT. SHE HITS ANOTHER GRACEFUL POSE.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAULĖ’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS COMPRISED OF A FADED BLUE OVERSIZED SWEATER WITH AN ACID-WASHED WHITE PRINT ON THE FRONT.HER HAIR IS JUST ABOUT SHOULDER LENGTH AND VERY CURLY. SHE HAS A HEALTHY TAN AND WARM EYES.
SAULĖ
Hi, I..
A BEAT.
SAULĖ
This is so intimidating.
INT. WERKROOM
SAULĖ POSES LIKE A GODDESS. SOMEONE GIVES A WOLF-WHISTLE.
SAULĖ [V/O]
I’m Saulė, as in, the Goddess of the Sun. I’m currently based in Vilnius and I am twenty-three!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAULĖ
Usually I perform at home in a group but the boys decided to ship me off to here.
A BEAT.
SAULĖ
I have no idea why.
INT. WERKROOM
SAULĖ GLIDES OVER TO THE OTHERS. SHE GREETS THE THEM, AND SHE RECOGNISES A LOT OF THEM.
SAULĖ
Hello!
ADONXS
And your name is?
FACECRACK.
SAULĖ
Saulė?
A BEAT.
SAULĖ
Haus of Katarsis..?
A WAVE OF RECOGNITION FALLS OVER SOME OF THE OTHERS. FACECRACK INTENSIFIES.
SEBASTIAN
Your sister is Gabija?
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAULĖ
I also have a very famous drag sister. That blond bitch.
INT. WERKROOM
CUT TO THE DOOR. THERE ARE A LOT OF CONTESTANTS THIS SEASON. SLOW, ROMANTIC MUSIC BEGINS TO PLAY AND HERE ENTERS LUCIO CORSI. SHE’S WEARING A WHITE LACE TOP, ALMOST LIKE A TAILCOAT, WITH A SQUARE NECKLINE AND DRAPING, DRAMATIC SLEEVES AND A TRAIN. UNDERNEATH SHE HAS ON FITTED WHITE TROUSERS, AND TALL HEELS. HER FACE IS PAINTED WHITE AND HER WIG IS FORTY INCHES OF CHOCOLATE BROWN HUMAN HAIR.
SHE POSES WITH A HAND ON HER HIP. SHE SAYS NOTHING. CUT TO THE OTHERS LOOKING INTIMIDATED.
SAILOR, OFF CAMERA
No line-?
INT. CONFESSIONAL
LUCIO’s CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS COMPRISED OF A RED CHECKED SHIRT OVER A T-SHIRT WITH TWEETY BIRD ON IT. HE WEARS A HAT OVER LONG BROWN HAIR.
LUCIO
My name is Lucio Corsi, I’m 31, from Toscana, Italia. And I am going to win.
INT. WERKROOM
LUCIO DOESN’T MOVE FROM THE POSE SHE’S IN, BUT TILTS HER HEAD UP. SHE LOOKS FIERCE.
LUCIO [V/O]
Do I-
INT. CONFESIONAL
LUCIO
Do I need to say anything else?
THE CREW LAUGHS OFFSCREEN
INT. WERKROOM
LUCIO WALKS OVER TO THE OTHERS. SHE SHAKES HANDS WITH GO-JO, WHO SEEMS TO BE GIVING HER A LOOK OF MILD SURPRISE. LUCIO INTRODUCES HERSELF AND ALL.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
GO-JO
Don’t tell me there's another contestant with the same mug style as me.
HE POINTS AT HIS FACE, EYES CARTOONISHLY WIDE
INT. WERKROOM
GO-JO
So, what's your drag like?
LUCIO
I mostly do live music, some puppetry..
GO-JO [V/O]
And she does puppetry!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
GO-JO
This is going to be the most heated one sided rivalry in DRE history.
INT. WERKROOM
BACK TO THE DOOR. LIVELY MUSIC PLAYS AS IN SPINS A GIRL IN A WHITE FRILLY MINI DRESS WITH A THICK PETTICOAT AND BIG SKIRT, WITH A PINK CHIFFON OUTERLAYER AND A BIG PINK CHIFFON BOW IN FRONT. HER WIG IS BLONDE AND IN CARTOONISH PIGTAILS. THIS IS FRANCE DOLL.
FRANCE
I may be a doll, but I’m not here to play.
THE USUAL CHEERS. FRANCE GIVES A TWIRL IN HER PUFFY DRESS AND THEN A CUTESY POSE.
FRANCE [V/O]
Salut, my loves!
INT. CONFESSIONAL
FRANCE IS IN A PINK FLUFFY CARDIGAN WITH A WHITE CAMISOLE UNDERNEATH. HER HAIR IS PERFECTLY CURLED AND LONG, AND SHE HAS A NECKLACE READING “DOLL” AROUND HER NECK.
FRANCE
I’m France Doll, the prettiest doll in Luxembourg! I cannot believe I’m actually here on this show, it's been so long since a Luxembourgish girl has been here.
INT. WERKROOM
FRANCE GIVES SOME MORE CUTESY POSES.
FRANCE [V/O]
I’m turning up the volume. Be careful, boys.
SHE SQUEALS AND THEN HEADS OVER TO THE OTHERS. HER AND SAILOR SEEM TO CONNECT PRETTY INSTANTLY.
SAILOR
France!
FRANCE
Oh my gosh, you're here too!
SONJA
I presume you two know each other?
FRANCE
We’re online sisters!
SAILOR
I cannot believe this is how we meet in person for the first time.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
FRANCE
So happy Sailor’s here. It feels great to have at least one person I know going into the competition.
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF SAILOR AND FRANCE BEFORE YOU HEAR HEELS AND THEIR ATTENTION IS BACK AT THE DOOR. SAILOR’S EYES SUDDENLY GO WIDE.
CUT TO THE DOOR, WITH SPOOKY MUSIC. ENTER MARA BELLADONNA. SHE’S WEARING A BLACK MESH BODYSUIT WITH A LOW NECKLINE, LONG LACE GLOVES AND A LACE SKIRT UNDER A BELT THAT LOOKS LIKE IT’S HOLDING POISONS. HER WIG IS VERY LONG, WAVY AND DARK AND SHE WEARS A WITCHES HAT. SHE WALKS TO THE CENTRE AND POSES.
MARA
Did someone order..
SHE SUDDENLY WHIPS OFF HER SKIRT AND DISPLAYS FULL, PADDED ASS.
MARA
..Poison cake?
MANY, MANY CHEERS AND WOLF-WHISTLES FROM THE OTHERS.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
MARA’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS COMPRISED OF A BLACK SLEEVELESS CROPPED TURTLENECK AND LONG LEATHER GLOVES. HE HAS SLIGHTLY LONG HAIR WITH BLUE SUNGLASSES ON TOP OF HIS HEAD.
MARA
Hi, Europe! My name is Mara Belladonna and I am from beautiful Bosnia, but I’ve been living in Croatia for a little while now.
INT. WERKROOM
MARA POSES, SHOWING OFF HER BODY.
MARA [V/O]
I like to call myself the ‘bitch with the body’. Because I’m a bitch.
A BEAT. MARA SHOWS OFF HER ASS AGAIN.
MARA [V/O]
And I have a brilliant body.
SHE THEN PICKS HER SKIRT BACK UP AND HEADS OVER TO THE OTHER GIRLS. CUT TO SAILOR, STARING. THEN, BACK TO MARA GREETING THE OTHERS.
SEBASTIAN
Mara, was it? You look fucking fantastic, girl.
MARA
Thank you! I wish I could say the same about you.
THE RATTLESNAKE SHADE SOUND EFFECT PLAYS. SEBASTIAN BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER AFTER THE BEAT.
SEBASTIAN
Babe, I’ve heard that one before!
MARA
I’m sure you have!
CUT TO THE DOOR ONCE MORE. DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS AS IN ENTERS GAJA. SHE IS WEARING A SKINTIGHT BLACK CATSUIT WITH SOME LACE DETAILING, AND A LONG TRAIN THAT LOOKS LIKE WINGS. HER WIG IS LONG AND ALMOST DRAGS ON THE FLOOR. SHE HAS LONG NAILS AND A STAFF IN HER HAND.
GAJA
The mother of dragons has arrived!
GASPS AND CHEERS. SOME OF THEM CLEARLY RECOGNISE HER.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
GAJA WEARS A BLACK CRUSHED VELVET BLAZER OVER A PALE BUSTIER FOR HER CONFESSIONAL LOOK. SHE HAS THICK SHINY BLACK HAIR AND A NECKLACE THAT HAS A LITTLE DRAGON PENDANT.
GAJA
Hello, everyone! You can call me Gaja. I am the dragon queen of Poland!
INT. WERKROOM
GAJA GIVES A BEAUTIFUL DRAMATIC POSE. SHE LOOKS LIKE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH.
GAJA [V/O]
I am fifty-three years old and I have been working for a very long time, and that means I will crush these girls.
SHE HEADS OVER TO THE OTHERS, LOOKING DOWN AT SOME OF THE YOUNGER CONTESTANTS.
GAJA
Ah! You all look so cute! Hello, darlings.
SOME OF THEM LOOK TOTALLY GAGGED.
MARA
The Gaja? So amazing you're here!
GAJA
Oh, you have heard of me?
A COUPLE OF THEM LAUGH.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
IVY
Gaja Witch-er is, like.. a total legend. I’m pretty sure she’s been working since before I was born.
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF GAJA MEETING THE OTHERS.
IVY [V/O]
She doesn't need to know that fact.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SONJA
Thank goodness I am not the oldest anymore.
INT. WERKROOM
CUT BACK TO THE DOOR. A FANCY CABARET STYLE TUNE BEGINS TO PLAY AS IN FLUTTERS VICTORIA DYSKO. SHE IS WEARING A BLACK BEDAZZLED BODYSUIT WITH A BIG PINK FEATHER BOA, SHOWGIRL-ESQUE. HER SHOES ARE TALL AND A MATCHING PINK. SHE HAS A CURLED BLONDE WIG WITH A SIMPLE FEATHERY HEADDRESS. SHE TWIRLS INTO A POSE.
VICTORIA
Here to fly to the top!
THE USUAL CHEERS. CUT TO LUCIO SPECIFICALLY, ARMS CROSSED AND LOOKING SKEPTICAL.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
VICTORIA’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS COMPRISED OF A PURPLE SATIN BLOUSE WITH BIG SLEEVES AND A HIGH COLLAR. HIS HAIR IS A DYED BLOND AND PUSHED BACK IN WAVES.
VICTORIA
Hello! My name is Victoria Dysko, but friends call me Birdie. I am twenty eight and from Kyiv!
INT. WERKROOM
VICTORIA PULLS OUT A FAN AND DOES THIS SET OF POSES WITH IT IN HAND.
VICTORIA [V/O]
My style.. I say I am.. pretty queen, beautiful style, big performer..
INT. CONFESSIONAL
VICTORIA
This is big experiment. We will see how competition goes!
INT. WERKROOM
VICTORIA HEADS OVER AND GREETS THE OTHERS WITH CHEEK KISSES. SHE LINGERS WITH HER HANDS IN LUCIO’S FOR A MOMENT BEFORE PEELING AWAY TO INTRODUCE HERSELF.
FRANCE
And your name is?
VICTORIA
I am Victoria Dysko! But friends call me ‘Birdie’.
LUCIO
That is an interesting little nickname.. Where did it come from?
VICTORIA PAUSES. SHE BLINKS.
VICTORIA
I am not sure?
INT. CONFESSIONAL
LUCIO
I like this one. She's..
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF VICTORIA.
LUCIO [V/O]
Very interesting.
SOME MORE VARIOUS BITS OF B-ROLL OF THE CONTESTANTS INTERRACTING. THEN A SUDDEN CUT BACK TO THE DOOR WITH DRAMATIC MUSIC. ENTER MISS MYA KANT. SHE’S WEARING A BIG FLUFFY RUFFLED BLACK AND WHITE BLOUSE UNDER A STRUCTURED DRESS MADE OF BLACK NETTING. SHE HAS A LONG BLONDE HUMAN HAIR WIG AND LONG FALSE NAILS. SHE STOMPS AND SNAPS.
MYA
I’m serving what?
SHE TEARS OFF THE NETTING TO REVEAL A FULL BODYSUIT OF THE RUFFLED MATERIAL AND THIGH HIGH BOOTS.
MYA
Kant.
A COUPLE WOLF-WHISTLES AND BIG CHEERS. MYA GIGGLES AND FALLS OUT OF HER POSE.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
MYA’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A BLACK PVC TOP UNDER A BIG BROWN FUR COAT. HER HAIR IS LONG AND STRAIGHT AND DARK. SHE HAS BIG HOOP EARRINGS IN.
MYA
Europe! Meet the kant-iest queen of all of Malta. I’m Miss Mya Kant.
INT. WERKROOM
MYA GIVES SOME MORE POSES BEFORE PICKING HER NETTING DRESS BACK UP AND REATTACHING IT AROUND HER.
MYA [V/O]
I am a body queen, I am a performance queen. If you are lipsyncing against me, be scared.
SHE HEADS OVER TO THE OTHERS AND BEGINS TO GREET THEM ALL.
MYA
Hello, girls! I’m Miss Mya.
SAILOR
Mya! Lovely to meet you.
IVY
You look stunning, girl!
MYA
You too! Very kant.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
MYA
‘Kant’ is actually the Maltese word for singing.
A BEAT.
MYA
Of course I chose it because it sounds like cunt.
INT. WERKROOM
CUT BACK TO THE B-ROLL BEFORE THE CLICK-CLACKING OF HEELS DRAWS THE CAMERA BACK TO THE DOOR. THE CAMERA PANS UP FROM HEELS TO A FITTED VELVET BLAZER WITH SILVER STAR-SHAPED EMBELISHMENTS ACROSS IT. SHE HAS ON STONED FISHNETS, AND A BRUNETTE WIG IN A HIGH PONYTAIL WITH WAVY BANGS. SHE HAS A CHOKER READING ‘MAMA’. THIS IS MAMA MISBEHAVIN’. SHE STRIKES A POSE WITH HER HANDS ON HER HIPS.
MAMA M
Mommy’s home.
A GOOD FEW CHEERS AS USUAL. SHE TOSSES HER HAIR.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
MAMA M’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS A BLACK BLAZER WITH PINS OVER A WHITE TOP. HER HAIR IS LONG AND BLONDE AND SHE HAS A FAKE TAN.
MAMA M
Hi, there.. My name is Mama Misbehavin’, I’m thirty and I am from the Faroe Islands.
INT. WERKROOM
MAMA M POSES, SULTRY, THEN SILLY.
MAMA M [V/O]
I think I’m quite sexy but also stupid. That's the best way to be, isn't it?
SHE LAUGHS AND RUNS OVER TO THE TABLE. SHE WAVES OVER TO THE OTHERS. CUT TO ADONXS GIVING HER A CURIOUS LOOK.
MAMA M
Hey, everyone!
GAJA
You look fantastic. Are you.. wearing anything under that jacket?
MAMA M
Underwear. That's it.
THEY LAUGH
INT. CONFESSIONAL
ADONXS
First impressions..
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF MAMA M INTERRACTING WITH THE OTHERS.
ADONXS [V/O]
This Mama Misbehavin’ is quite a character. I think I like her.
MORE B-ROLL UNTIL IT CUTS SUDDENLY BACK TO THE DOOR, THEN, QUICKLY BACK TO THE OTHER CONTESTANTS FACES AS THEY GASP. SOMETHING BIG IS HAPPENING.
CUT BACK TO THE DOOR. ENTER THE LAST GIRL, WEARING A BLACK LEATHER BODYSUIT WITH ALL SORTS OF CUT-OUTS, A MATCHING BIKER JACKET AND LONG BOOTS. SHE HAS A HARNESS AND STRAPS EVERYWHERE, VERY BDSM. SHE HAS A BIG, EXTRAVAGANT BLOND WIG ON AND A BIKER HELMET UNDER HER ARM. THIS IS-
SAILOR, OFF CAMERA
Is that Cicciolina?!
AND IT IS. THIS IS CICCIOLINA. SHE POSES AND WHIPS HER WIG AROUND.
CICCIOLINA
I came, I saw. I came again.
THE WERKROOM GOES CRAZY. CLEARLY, THIS IS BIG.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
CICCIOLINA’S CONFESSIONAL LOOK IS COMPOSED OF A BLACK HALTER TOP WITH GOLD DETAILING. SHE HAS ON A THICK CHAIN AND HOOP EARRINGS. HER HAIR IS STRAIGHT AND BLONDE AND SHE HAS BANGS.
CICCIOLINA
Good evening, Europe. My name is Cicciolina and I’m a fucking model.
INT. WERKROOM
SHE GIVES POSES FROM THE FRONT AND THE BACK. B-ROLL OF THE OTHERS’ REACTIONS. IT’S ELECTRIC.
CICCIOLINA [V/O]
I have been around in the scene for a little while. Some pageants, some performances..
INT. CONFESSIONAL
CICCIOLINA
Some dark sex clubs in the deepest pits of the continent.
INT. WERKROOM
CICCIOLINA STRIDES OVER TO THE TABLE. ALL THE OTHERS LOOK TOTALLY GAGGED.
GO-JO
Holy crap, you’re real.
CICCIOLINA
So I’ve heard!
MAMA M
You look so amazing.
CICCIOLINA
You all look fantastic too, of course. I didn't expect any less.
CUT TO SAULĖ LOOKING UP AT CICCIOLINA WITH HER MOUTH AGAPE.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
SAULĖ
You know what, I’m just happy to be here.
INT. WERKROOM
B-ROLL OF THE CONTESTANTS FRATERNISING FOR A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE A SIREN BLARES AND THEY ALL GASP. CUT TO THE TV SCREEN ON THE WALL. THE SHOW LOGO APPEARS ONSCREEN.
VOICEOVER
Harem Girls, breaking chains!
THEN APPEARS NASTASJA ON THE SCREEN.
NASTASJA [SCREEN]
Welcome to Drag Race Europa, my lovelies!
CHEERS FROM THE CONTESTANTS.
NASTASJA [SCREEN]
Are you ready to step in front of the Empresses and show them what you're worth?
CUT BACK TO THE CONTESTANTS CHEERING AGAIN. THEY ALL LOOK SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
CUT TO THE BEADED CURTAIN ON THE TOP OF THE STAIRS BESIDE THE TV. NASTASJA EMERGES LOOKING GORGEOUS AS ALWAYS IN ONE OF HER USUAL WERKROOM PANTSUITS. IT’S DARK BLUE AND PINSTRIPED WITH GOLD CUFF DETAILING.
NASTASJA
Hello, hello!
THE CONTESTANTS CHEER LIKE MAD.
NASTASJA
So lovely to see all of you! Now you're all acquainted..
CUT TO THE CONTESTANTS GLANCING AT EACH OTHER. AND THEN BACK TO NASTASJA.
NASTASJA
Are we ready for our first mini challenge? I’m sure you will all.. blow me away.
SHE WINKS.
CHEERS.
TRANSITION SCREEN.
COMPILATION OF THE PHOTOSHOOTS. THE CONTESTANTS STAND IN FRONT OF A GREENSCREEN WITH A FRAME IN FRONT OF IT MIMICKING A POSTCARD. AT FIRST, IT IS NORMAL, BUT THEN THEY TURN ON A WIND MACHINE. A STRONG ONE.
SONJA, IVY, GO-JO, SAULĖ AND VICTORIA DO WELL, SAILOR STRUGGLES A LOT, ADONXS AND LUCIO SMASH IT, AND THE OTHERS ARE AVERAGE.
INT. WERKROOM
CICCIOLINA REENTERS, LOOKING WINDSWEPT. SHE COMBS HER WIG OUT OF HER FACE. SHE STUMBLES TOWARDS A TABLE WHERE MARA, MYA AND SAILOR ARE WAITING AND CHATTING.
CICCIOLINA
That was horrible. Never again.
MYA
Have you not taken photos in super high winds before?
THE OTHERS LAUGH.
CICCIOLINA
One thing I have not done.
CUT TO NASTASJA’S DOOR WHERE SHE APPEARS THROUGH THE BEADED CURTAIN AGAIN. THE CONTESTANTS CHEER AND GATHER IN A SEMI-CIRCLE AROUND HER.
NASTASJA
Hi, again! What a photoshoot that was, right?
CUT TO THE CONTESTANTS LAUGHING AND NODDING.
SONJA
You could say that again..
BACK TO THE HOST.
NASTASJA
And the winner of the mini-challenge is..
A BEAT.
NASTASJA
Adonxs! Congratulations!
CUT TO ADONXS LOOKING VERY SURPRISED, THEN PLEASED. THEY SHOW HER PHOTO ONCE AGAIN ONSCREEN AND THEN CUT BACK TO NASTASJA.
NASTASJA
You have won yourself a €500 cash tip.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
ADONXS
Look at me! I won the first challenge!
PAUSE.
ADONXS
Well, mini. But I still get a tip out of it.
INT. WERKROOM
NASTASJA
So..
SHE CLAPS HER HANDS.
NASTASJA
Are we ready to get real?
CUT TO THE CONTESTANTS CHEERING.
NASTASJA
Well, I hope you're ready for the world to see your talents, because for your first Maxi challenge you’ll be performing at the Empress’ Palace Talent Show Extravaganza!
MORE CHEERS.
NASTASJA
You’ll be judged by me, of course, two of my lovely Harem Girls, and our special guest judge.. Silvia Night!
MORE CHEERS.
INT. CONFESSIONAL
MARA LOOKS GAGGED. PROPERLY, FULLY GAGGED. SHE SQUEALS.
MARA
Shut up. Silvia Night. I love her to death, I better bring it tomorrow.
INT. WERKROOM
NASTASJA
Good luck.. and don't fuck it up.
TRANSITION SCREEN.