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Sir, you have an incoming call from Potato Kid. JARVIS says in Tony's in ear comm unit as Tony's talking to some investor Pepper forced him to talk to. He's at a gala tonight, and since Stark Industries is hosting, Pepper promised him grave bodily injuries, if he doesn't show his face and talk to people for at least half of the night. But hey, attending the call from the kid is a legitimate excuse, Pepper can't be mad at him for that. So Tony excuses himself from the crowd, and goes to an empty hallway to talk to the kid.
"Patch him through J." Tony says as Jarvis picks up the call.
"Hey kid, got to say you might have the best timing in the world, I was just about to die of boredom in that gala talking to all those rich snobby assholes." Tony says
"You're a rich snobby asshole too, besides wouldn't Ms. Potts get pissed at you if you ditch the other assholes." Harley replies, and Tony smiles but he can't help but feel like there's something underneath Harley's tone that seems a bit off.
"First of all, I am rich and an asshole, but I am not snobby, thank you very much. Second of all, why is Pepper Ms. Potts, while I am "old man", where's the respect kid."
"Cause unlike you Ms. Potts is amazing, and didn't you just say you're not snobby, this seems like snobby behavior."
"Ya ya you little brat, what are you doing, shouldn't you be asleep or some shit. Isn't it past your bedtime? Cause let me tell you, I have zero interest in getting in trouble with the force that is Macy Keener for keeping her kid up past bedtime."
"No, it's not past my bedtime, it's only 9:00pm, I am 12 not 5. Besides, mom has her night shift today so she won't know that I am up anyway."
"How am I supposed to know when 12 year olds go to sleep? Whatever, any specific reason you called kid or did you just miss your favorite billionaire?"
"Egotistical much? And no, I had a question and thought you might be able to help me with it?"
"What is it? It better not be you asking me to bribe your teacher again so that you don't have to do your English Paper. I already told you that's not happening, you're gonna have to suffer through English all on your own kiddo. I'm not going to be the one answering to Pepper and your mom about why you're skipping school in favor of your garage."
"Rude, School is stupid, and its not like I learn shit anyways. But that's not what my question was, hypothetically if someone shoots a 8 year old with a potato gun, would they get incriminated?"
Tony physically pales, as Harley's question registers in his brain.
"DO NOT, I MEANT IT DO NOT shoot anyone with that potato gun of yours, especially not a kid. You will get in trouble, and I don't think your mom would appreciate you shooting other kids."
"Ok, ok chill out, it was a hypothetical, I never said I was about to do it." Harley adds on, scoffing. Tony picks up on the hint of hostility in his tone, and takes a breath to calm himself down, the kid wouldn't be calling asking about this unless something was wrong. A kid, this kid, is actually reaching out to him for help with something that's bothering him, he can't fuck this up.
"Ya well I am a genius kid. So you wanna tell me why you're considering bodily harm against an 8 year old."
"I literally just told you it was a hypothetical, I wasn't actually thinking it."
"Harley you and I both know that's not true. I mean you can continue avoiding the topic, but you wouldn't have called me unless you wanted to talk about it."
Harley sighs and just goes quiet. Tony thinks Harley's actually not going to say anything, but gives him a little space before trying to get more info out of him, and luckily after some time Harley speaks up.
"This kid has been bothering Abbie at school. He's apparently in her class and finds it hilarious that she got a D on her math test. Which is dumb as fuck, cause Abbie was sick for like 3 days before the test, so she wasn't even there when the teacher taught the content. I bet that little fucker wouldn't have even been able to answer a single question if the roles were reversed."
"Kid, I get you're upset, you're allowed to be, honestly that kid sounds like an absolute ass. But you hitting him with your potato gun is probably not the best way to deal with this."
"He made Abbie cry." Harley says, and dang it, he isn't equipped to handle this like a mature adult. Tony most likely would've shot that little pissant too if he was in Harley's place. At least Harley hasn't already shot him.
Over the past 2 years, after breaking into Harley's garage, Tony has grown close to the entire Keener family, and though he will deny it if anyone said something, but he has grown fond of the two Keener siblings, and he himself wants to give that little shit who hurt Abbie a piece of his mind, but right now Tony needs to be an adult, because goddamit, just because he's a shitty person, with shitty ways of dealing with things, doesn't mean he's going to teach Harley the same thing.
"Kiddo, I get it, I am mad at what happened too, but there are other ways that we can fix this, ways that do not involve you getting into trouble."
"Like what?"
"Well, like telling Abbie's teacher." Tony says, even though he knows that's not really a good solution, cause teachers never really do shit about these things, and there's a chance that if the teacher confronts the kid, he might start bothering Abbie even more.
"Ya cause that always goes great. The teachers didn't do shit when EJ used to bully me, and he was in the grade above mine. You think they're gonna do anything for Abbie. And if by some chance, the teacher does decide to do her fucking job, that might just give that little shit more ammo to bother Abbie. I'm not letting him hurt her again."
"I know kid, I know. I'm sorry this is happening to Abbie, and I'm sorry no one stopped EJ from bothering you. But all going after Abbie's bully is going to do is get you in trouble, so how about this, I talk to your mom, and me and your mom will talk to Abbie's teacher, cause maybe she can ignore Abbie telling her someone's bothering her, but she's not going to ignore Tony Stark telling her someone's bothering Abbie. AND if that kid still decides to go after Abbie, I will personally talk to his parents and if needed have a talk with the kid myself. I don't want someone hurting Abbie anymore than you do, ok kid?" Tony says, hoping and praying Harley actually listens to him instead of actually going after that kid in a rage filled fury.
"Ok, but if he bothers Abbie again, I will shoot him with a potato gun." Harley says, and Tony lets out a sigh of relief.
"I would expect nothing less. You're a good kid Harley, and a good brother. I'm proud of you. So now that you're not about to commit homicide, tell me what new project are you working on?" Tony says, wanting to comfort this kid, who has been through so much, and carries so much weight, and all Tony wants to do it wrap him up in his arms and let him be a kid. But for now, he's content with just letting the kid ramble on about Potato Gun Mark IV.