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Digging Like A Dog For Your Casket

Summary:

“You’re okay,” he said quietly. “You’re safe now. He’s dead now. I’m right here, and I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you again. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. “But, that’s not… That’s not all.”

Fuck. Fucking how? Everything that she said about what happened made it a hundred times worse. How was there more? Joel hated this man since he learned about his existence, but it just kept getting worse. How could a person be so fucked up?

“He wanted an equal,” Ellie said. “That’s what he wanted me to be. He said it was ‘cause we both have violent hearts. And… He said that he wanted to be my father and that he was going to teach me. Is that… Is that what fathers are supposed to do? To their kids?”

OR

Joel and Ellie after Silver Lake, expect it goes a bit differently. (Joel kills David.)

The Graphic Depictions of Violence is about Joel murdering people. The Rape/Non-Con tag is about David, because he makes an appearance in this fic. Nothing worse than canon.

Title from He Asked For It by Ella Red.

Notes:

TW: David; Joel murdering/torturing; attempted sexual assault (David)

I really hope you enjoy. There is a lot of fluff, I promise

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Joel needed to find Ellie. He knew she wouldn’t have gone far, especially with him in the condition that he was. But, those people he had found—and tortured until they talked—said she was in a town. The town that was right in front of him. But, as he searched it, he didn't find her. He saw other people, but no Ellie.

He found her backpack in storage with all the meat. There were a few big animals, mostly deer, and... Joel thought that he might be sick. Bodies had never been a big deal for him, even dead ones, but the implications of them being hung up here... It was disgusting. Even though none of the bodies were Ellie-sized, it still installed a new fear in him

He slowly walked out of the storage room, making sure no one saw him. There were so many buildings, but most of them were houses. He doubted she would be in someone’s house. Once he got close to another big building, he heard someone calling her name. It... was not a very comforting sound, to know that someone in this cannibal town was looking for her.

Then he heard her. which would have been a comfort, knowing that she was alive and at least relatively okay. Expect that she was screaming ‘no’ and ‘get off’ and a few ‘fuck you’s. Even from where he was, he could hear the fear in her voice.

Joel found Ellie in a burning building with some creep on top of her. He pulled the guy off and started hitting him. He meant to start stabbing him, but he forgot the knife wasn’t in his hand anymore. Too bad. He pulled the bastard outside of the buildings and pinned him to a tree. Joel took out the knife and started dragging it along his skin. He looked like he was trying not to yell.

"Wait, wait!" he yelled. “You don’t have to kill me! You can stay here, and… And, you can try it with her if you—”

Joel loosened his grip slightly, then slammed the guy against the tree harder. “You are a fucking pedophile and a rapist. I would rather shoot myself than touch her like that or be anything like you.”

As much as Joel wanted to kill the bastard so painfully and make it last as long as possible, he also had to make sure that Ellie was okay, so he stuck the knife in the guys eye before pulling it out out letting him fall to the ground.

She was holding a big knife in her hands, but she dropped it when he turned around to face her. She stared at him for a few moments before kinda falling forward into him. He brought his arms up around her.

“It’s okay, baby girl,” he said quietly. “You’re okay.”

“He…” She didn’t finish the thought. She was squeezing him so tight it almost hurt, but he’d be damned before he’d tell her to loosen her grip.

Joel did let go of her eventually, handing her backpack to her and shrugging off his jacket to put it around her. She was only wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. She fell back into him the second he straightened up. He put his arm around her and started leading her away from the burning building.

God. The building was on fucking fire and that creep was still… She had ran into the worst type of people. It was bad enough that she had been found by cannibals who were probably going to eat her, but a child rapist, too? That bastard was very fucking lucky that Joel needed to make sure Ellie was okay and get her out of here, because he would’ve fucking tortured him until he died of pain.

She wasn’t talking as they were walking, but she was making quiet noises. It sounded like she was in pain. He made a mental note to check her for injuries when they were in a safe place, whenever that might be. Hopefully soon, but doubtfully. She was holding his hand as they walked. She’d never done that before. The closest they’d been was when they were riding the horse, and that was because she would’ve fallen off if she didn’t hold on.

-

Joel half thought that the hug she had given him was a ‘oh my God, you’re not fucking dead and you just saved my ass again’ hug. As soon as they were inside a building that he deemed far enough away, he did his best to check her for injures. She didn’t really want him to do that much, and answered most of his questions saying that she was fine. Once he was sure that she was actually fine – which was after about twenty minutes – he started making a fire.

She stared at it wearily for a bit. “You, uh… You said no fires,” she said after a while. “‘Cause people might see and…” She still remembered what he said when she asked if it was because they’d steal everything. They’d have much more in mind than that. She knew now that he wasn’t worried about people killing them.

“If anyone tries to get close, I’ll shoot them,” Joel said. “You don’t have to worry.”

It turned out that the hug she had given him was not a one time thing, because as soon as the fire was big enough and he took a step back, she scrambled over to him and tucked herself under his arm. He wasn’t really expecting it, so he didn’t move for about a minute. She glanced up at him and started backing away slightly. That snapped him out of whatever was happening, and he tighten his grip around her. She stopped moving away.

They weren’t usually that close. Even when it was really cold, they’d barely sleep near each other. They’d offered each other their hands for help getting up places and stuff, but that touch barely lasted a few seconds. It was almost shocking when she hugged him. It was almost shocking that she hugged him again. (It was cuddling, really, wasn’t it?)

Ellie shot up suddenly. “Shit, your stitches!” She started pushing his shirt up to try and get a look at them.

He caught her hands and squeezed slightly. “Ellie,” he said softly. “Ellie.” She still seemed frantic, and was not listening to him. “Baby, listen.”

That got her attention. He made a note of that just in case she wasn’t listening again – or if she was in whatever state she was in again. Her eyes also went wide when he said it, and almost shining. He also made a note of that.

“I’m okay,” Joel said. “Whatever you did, it worked. You saved me. I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He nodded. “I am. It’s okay.”

She nodded slowly and lay back down. She was a bit closer to him than before, but he decided it wasn’t something that needed mentioning. She liked the nicknames that he was calling her. And, she liked that he was letting her be close to him. Maybe it was because he felt bad for her. It still felt caring, though.

“He…” She trailed off. She wanted to tell him, so he knew what happened, and so that it wasn’t just swirling around in her mind. He probably knew, anyway. He had seen. And, there wasn’t very many explanations for yelling and crying while a random man was on top of you.

“What is it, baby?”

There was that name again. It made her slightly happier.

“He tried to rape me,” she said quietly. She felt almost sick saying it. “He… He was nice to me the first time we met. And-and he tried to be the second time, but I… I broke his finger and he left and he came back with a friend and… They tried to cut me up and eat me but I bit him and said I was infected and killed the other guy.” She tried to keep her words coherent, but she was probably rambling incoherently. “I ran away but he followed me and… The building was on fire and I stabbed him and he was still going to do it. And… And there were a meat cleaver so close and I couldn’t get it. The building was fucking burning down and he got stabbed and he was still going to do it.”

She was crying. Blubbering might be a better word for it. Joel tried to wipe her tears away, but eventually gave up in favour for just hugging her. That made it a little bit better.

“You’re okay,” he said quietly. “You’re safe now. He’s dead now. I’m right here, and I’m never going to let anything bad happen to you again. Okay?”

She nodded. “Okay,” she whispered. “But, that’s not… That’s not all.”

Fuck. Fucking how? Everything that she said about what happened made it a hundred times worse. How was there more? Joel hated this man since he learned about his existence, but it just kept getting worse. How could a person be so fucked up?

“He wanted an equal,” Ellie said. “That’s what he wanted me to be. He said it was ‘cause we both have violent hearts. And… He said that he wanted to be my father and that he was going to teach me. Is that… Is that what fathers are supposed to do? To their kids?”

Fuck. Of course it’s what she thought. She was an orphan and had never had parents. This whole thing was so fucked up.

“No, baby,” Joel said. “No one should ever do that to anybody, let alone their kid. People who do that are awful, and they deserve much worse than death.”

“So… You’d never…?”

“Of course not, baby.”

She nodded. "Do you think he was right?” she asked after a while. “About me having a violent heart?”

"I think he was a fucked up man who was trying to manipulate you,” Joel said. "And, I think everything he said was total bullshit. He didn't know you, and he just wanted you to trust him.”

She nodded again, slower.

“Why are you being this close to me?” Joel asked after a while.

She started to push herself up and away from him.

He caught her hands. “No, I didn’t mean not to. Just, you were talkin’ about violence and stuff. And, you just saw me kill someone violently, and now you’re all cuddled up to me.” It was literally the closest she’d ever been.

Ellie was silent for a few moments before hugging him again and buried her face back in his neck. “I think he was right, Joel,” she said eventually. “He said I have a violent heart and I think he was right about that.”

“Baby, you can’t believe what he said. He was trying to manipulate you.”

“But, he was right. I liked it when you killed him, and I liked it when you killed that soldier in Boston.”

“Baby, that’s not the same,” he said. “I killed the soldier because he was going to shoot you and I killed that man because he was going to hurt you. He did whatever he did because he was a bad person. Besides, I’m the one who killed him. Do you think I have–”

“No,” Ellie said instantly. “You don’t seem to like killing very much.”

“I liked killing him. Do you think that means that I have a violent heart?”

“No,” she repeated. “He had a violent heart, and you’re nothing like him.”

“Well, you’re much more similar to me than you are to him,” Joel said.

She nodded. She didn’t say anything else, but she fell asleep curled up to him.

Notes:

I really hope you enjoyed. I saw a few fanfictions about what would've happened if Ellie couldn't have gotten the cleaver, but Joel was right outside the building when she got out, so he was pretty close. This is my take on that. <3