Chapter Text
Dean feels it. He feels the protruding piece of rebar impaling through him. For a millisecond he sees black. No. Not yet. He thinks amidst the commotion. It is crystal clear what’s coming for him. He inhales a sharp breath. An excruciating pain overtakes his body, getting him back to his senses. Not without saying goodbye to Sammy. Ringing in his ears dies down a little. But is never fully gone. A few feet away from him Sam beheads the last masked vampire. He turns around, unaware,
“Alright, let’s go find those kids. Get them outta here”
he says.
“Sam…” Dean replies. Guilt bubbling in his chest even now. He finds it hard to look Sam in the eyes. For when was he ever able to break the bad news for his baby Sammy. Even as a kid, Dean always made it his mission to shield Sam from the horrors of the world. So what’s the difference now? How can he tell Sam that it’s finally time to ‘go down swinging’ as he always said. “..I don’t think I am going anywhere.” Dean rasps.
“What?” Sam asks confused, brows furrowed.
“It’s in the-.. it’s in my back…” Dean replies through ragged breath. He winces in pain. “I think it went right through me.”
Trembling , Sam put his palm behind Dean’s back. His brother’s blood dripping on his hand, warm and wet, he feels as if the whole world stopped for a moment.
“I…uh .. yeah” he tries to move Dean out of the rebar.
“No no no no! Don’t move! Don’t move me!” Dean protests, knowing full well the rebar is all that is holding his organs together for now.
“Stay with me..” he pleads. Sam obeys.
So he talks. Talks his mind out. If it’s finally the moment for his trip to the other side, he wants to go without regrets. Dean wants his baby brother to know that he loves him.
Of course he does. But John Winchester didn’t raise him to be emotionally secure. And he didn’t get to tell his brother that if he had a chance to do it all over again, he wouldn’t change a thing; that he was happy and proud to be little Sammy’s big brother.
Later in his life, spending time with Cas, the eons old angel who had been time and time again modified to be the perfect soldier and the servant of the heavenly host, but yet taught himself to love and feel.. Dean changed. If Cas could do it in the end, why can’t he? So he told Sam.
Between Sam’s desperate pleas and denial, he can make out the shadow of a reaper materializing itself in a corner of the room. This is an all so familiar sensation. He greeted death like an old friend, and went with him gladly, this time not running away. The moment he steps through the veil, into the unknown, he hears one word.
“Poughkeepsie”